Four Yellow

Diamond Tiara looked out from the mezzanine at the ballroom below. The band played a lively tune, and ponies danced across the floor, a swirl of colorful long dresses and suits with smiling faces and laughter.

From above, Diamond Tiara spied Applebloom laughing as she danced with a smiling orange stallion who looked not unlike a male version of Scootaloo. He was clearly a far better dancer, but neither he nor Applebloom seemed to mind she could not move as gracefully, or that the other ponies kept a significant distance between themselves and Applebloom.

On the other side of the room, Diamond Tiara saw Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, both wearing dresses that were not so much matching as they were complimentary. Both were looking around nervously as they took sips from a secret bottle of cider, thinking nopony could see them. Diamond Tiara could not help but smile at how wide Scootaloo’s eyes were, and how nervous she seemed to be, no doubt for what she was going to try to ask later.

Nearby, Twist was taking a break from the festivities and laughing as both Snips and Snails danced with Snails’s date, an older, brown-colored, green-haired unicorn mare with an obscenely short dress. Diamond Tiara knew that particular mare, and knew that Snails must have saved his allowance for a long time to be able to afford her. At the same time, Diamond Tiara nervously wondered if she had paid for enough fire insurance to accommodate that particular individual.

Finally, Diamond Tiara’s eyes settled on the scene that made her most happy. In the center of the ballroom, both wearing equally beautiful dresses, Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle swirled together past crowds gawking Sweetie Belle-suitors. Neither of the mares seemed to care, and even though the song was not quite a slow dance, they still held each other close and kept time to the beat.

A voice spoke from behind Diamond Tiara.

“Wow. That dress makes you look terribly fat.”

Diamond Tiara turned around to see Pick, who seemed to have silently snuck up behind her. Unlike most of the stallions, he was not dressed in a suit or tuxedo. Instead, his armor had been reconfigured with gleaming white plates and draped with a cape covered in tight, pale-blue geometric patterns. Rarity had even reconfigured his helmet; the top surface was now partially domed and mirrored in gold just enough that Diamond Tiara could see the bright reflections of his eyes beneath.

The dress that Diamond Tiara wore had been designed to match. As much as it has strained Rarity to meet her requests, Diamond Tiara had been very clear on what she had wanted. The majority of the dress was white, with the skirt made in the same pattern as Pick’s cloak. The center around her torso, though, was fit more like a traditional morlock garment, including a highly visible pauldron which prominently displayed her technetium dial.

“No,” said Diamond Tiara, “I look like your mother. And that turns you on because you’re a sick pervert.”

“It’s true,” said Pick, joining Diamond Tiara in looking over the rail at the party below. “But my mother is hot. Not nearly as hot as yours, though. Maybe I can have her as a second wife, part time.”

“Yeah,” said Diamond Tiara, feeling a spark of excitement and uncertainty cross through her heart. She paused, not looking at Pick. “So…is there supposed to be a ceremony or something?”

“There can be, if you want it.”

“There had better be. And it had better be BIG. Because I deserve it.”

“Ah. I see. I am not sure where we will find an adequate buffet for you and your mother, though.”

“One more of those, and I throw you in the punch bowl.”

“But I’ll stain!”

Diamond Tiara sighed and looked down at the happy ponies below. “So…I’m guessing your family knows.”

“You misunderstand.” Pick gestured toward the dial in his chest. “Do you know what it means to give a morlock stallion a gemstone?”

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean- -”

Pick nodded. “In my family’s mind, we have already been married for six years.”

“Crap…you know, you could have told me.”

“I didn’t want to pressure you. I still don’t want to. If you don’t think this- -”

“Are you doubting me?”

“N- -no!” sputtered Pick. “I just- -”

“Good! It’s my decision, and I’m doing to stick to it!” Diamond Tiara paused. “But what this is going to do to my mother.”

“I’d rather not be there when that happens.”

“Oh, you will be.”

“But…but she’ll try to squish me again…”

Diamond Tiara let Pick trail off. Her heart was beating quickly. Then, finally, she forced herself to admit what she had considered keeping secret from him for the remainder of her life. “Pick, I may have cheated on you with the devil.”

“And I may have cheated on you with Silver Spoon.”

“I will geld you.”

“NO! No! Wait! I was joking!” Pick looked at Diamond Tiara, and saw that she was serious. “Well…in morlock culture, it isn’t considered cheating if it was with a mare or a blood-relative.”

“I didn’t say the devil was a ‘she’.”

“Oh. No. I mean, I assumed that you being you, that, well, you know, the devil must be a sibling.”

“You still don’t believe me. You don’t believe any of it.” Diamond Tiara was not even sure if she believed any of what had happened to her. Nopony had seen any of the things she had seen. Certain features still remained inexplicable, but everything had happened to Diamond Tiara and Diamond Tiara alone, and nothing at all had happened since she woke up in a remote orchard field in Sweet Apple Acres.

“I don’t know what I believe,” said Pick. “Apart from you. And I know that you’re better now, right?”

“Yeah,” said Diamond Tiara. “Yeah, I am.”

“You’ve certainly put on some weight, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sure you would too if your taste in food wasn’t uncultured and terrible.”

“Me uncultured? Look at this color scheme! It does not match the antique tone of the wood at ALL!”

“You can’t even see color!”

“I don’t need to! It is that bad!”

“You didn’t seem to be complaining when we were dancing.”

“Because I was too busy trying not to get crushed under your ungraceful girth!”

Diamond Tiara turned suddenly, flicking her tail up and into Pick’s intake manifold. He coughed slightly as the heavily styled bicolor poof surrounded his helmet. “Come on,” she said, gesturing toward one of the halls that ran back into the venue.

“But we’ll miss the crowning of the Prom Princess!”

“Trust me, it’s Applebloom. I helped count the votes.” Diamond Tiara leaned in close to Pick and whispered to him. “Now listen here, you grotesque insect. You are going to come back to one of the spare rooms with me, and you are going to do every little thing I say until I make you squeal like the pork you are. You’ve got that?”

Pick said nothing, but his wings chirped loudly beneath his cloak. “But…Diamond…”

“Oh come on. You gave me this dial. You knew you were going to have to do this eventually.”

“But…”

Diamond Tiara entered the threshold to the hallway. “Are you coming or not?”

“Yes,” squeaked Pick, who awkwardly followed her.

Diamond Tiara pulled Pick through the darkened back hallways. There were a few couples back there, mostly standing in the corners and kissing. At one point, Diamond Tiara thought she caught a glimpse of a rainbow-colored tail pass by, followed by Scootaloo’s muffled giggling. She herself was going farther back, though, to find a specific room she had already picked out.

As Diamond Tiara turned a corner, though, she suddenly slammed into a pony crossing from the other direction.

“Hey!” she cried. “Watch it!”

She looked up at the pony she had ran into, and then froze. Standing above her was a far taller than average unicorn, his coat a mixture of gray and salmon.

“H…Harvestor?”

Harvestor looked down at Diamond Tiara. The expression on his face was of pure terror, and blood was running from both of his eyes and ears. He was quivering in fright, and for some reason, dressed in a formal tuxedo.

“Oh,” said a familiar voice behind Diamond Tiara. “Please excuse my date.”

Diamond Tiara knew that voice, and could not stop herself from turning around. There, standing behind her, wearing a thin red dress, stood a tall yellow pony.

“N…no…”

She lowered her unblinking red eyes level with Diamond Tiara’s and gave a soft, perfectly feminine smile. Diamond Tiara wanted to strike her, or to scream, or to run, but she could do nothing except stare into those gleaming scarlet orbs.

Then the red-eyed pony spoke, directly and unambiguously to Diamond Tiara.

“I. Still. WIN.”