Twilight's Essay

by kahndy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1360

Twilight is assigned to write an essay for School on what she did over the weekend, and she's over the moon about it. Now if only she could get some peace and quite to write it.

Twilight is assigned to write an essay for School on what she did over the weekend, and she's over the moon about it. Now if only she could get some peace and quite to write it.

Published 2016-09-06 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-06 04:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“Alright class before I dismiss you for the day, I should remind you I am assigning you all an essay to write!”

Every foal in Miss Inkwell’s class collectively moaned in exasperation, all except a certain purple unicorn in the front of the class who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Did you hear that? We get to write an assignment?” Twilight excitedly told the yellow filly next to her who looked far less pleased then her about the assignment.

“It will need to be at least one hundred words long, in ink!” Miss Inkwell continued.

“Did ya hear that? One hundred words!! And we get to use INK!!!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly to the foal next to her, who in turn gave her a glare wishing her an extremely painful accident.

“On what you did over the weekend! It will be due on Monday!”

“Did you hear that? On what we did over the weekend!!!” Twilight repeated to the foal, who by now wanted to buck Twilight in the braces out the window and clear into Saddle Arabia. It’s no wonder Nerdlight didn’t have any friends.

At that moment the bell rang, and every foal began packing up the backs and rushing for the exit, although the filly next to Twilight did pause for a moment to shove Twilight out of her seat and call her a nerd before exiting with her fellow classmates.

“Owww, sheeeeeeeeessh what’s HER deal?” Twilight wondered picking herself and her belongings back up before heading out the door herself.

That Sunday back in her dorm room, Twilight excitedly took out her inkwells her parents had bought her and some paper, and began cracking her neck in anticipation. “Ok Spike this is it!” she exclaimed to her baby dragon who was busy chewing on the sofa “Time to rest the best written essay on improper use of magic this school has ever seen. SIDNEY OR THE BUSH!!!”

“Bah?” Spike babbled confused.

“It’s just some stupid expression dad always says, I don’t know what it means!” Twilight explained rolling her eyes. “Alright fashion your seatbelts Spike because HERE…………….WE………………GO!!” She picked up her pen with her magic, dipped it feverishly in her ink well, and began writing “What I did over the weekend is……………………………………………………………………………”

Her pen hoovered there what felt like eternity while she waited for the words to come to her.

She waited……

And she waited…

And waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaited……….

“OH FOR BUCKS SAKE!!! HOW IS THIS SO HARD!!!!?” Twilight exclaimed annoyed, throwing her pen at the wall. Normally I can write an essay in seconds.

Just then the sound of hammers began clamoring above her, causing Twilight to press her front hooves against her ears and grimaced an annoyance. “How is ANYPONY supposed to write an essay with all that racket going on?”

Angrily she jumped out of her chair and stormed past Spike to the door, swinging it open with a loud bang and began searching for the offending noise makers. Finally coming across a ladder, she climbed it to find a Maintenance pony hammering nails into her roof.

“HEY YOU!!” she shouted causing the maintenance pony to jump “WHAT THE TARTARUS DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? I’M TRYING TO WRITE AN ESSAY HERE!!”

“My apologies little missy” the pony answered in his Indian accent “But Princess Celestia asked me to fix the holes on the student dorm roofs.”

“Well could you POSSIBLY do it a little bit quieter, or better yet another DAY? I am trying to write the best bucking essay this entire school has ever seen, and I can’t concentrate with all the noise you are making out here!!”

Feeling she had made her point she turned around and proceeded to walk back to the ladder only to miss it by several hoofsteps and fell flat on her face, causing every pony nearby to point and laugh at her. “YOU ARE ON MY LIST MISTER!!!” Twilight threatened pointing up at the maintenance pony who could only shrug and smile back apologetically.

Returning to her room Twilight stormed back to her writing desk muttering about how she ended up in a school surrounded by morons. “Ok let’s try this again, best essay in the history of ALL essays take two!” She plopped herself back into her seat, picked her pen back up off the floor with her magic, and was just about to make a mark on the page when a ball smacked into her window with a loud crack, followed the by cheer of excited foals outside.

“OH MY BUCKING CELESTIA WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY!!!?” Twilight screamed throwing her hooves in the air in exasperation. “THIS IS A SCHOOL NOT A BUCKING PLAYGROUND OR SOMETHING!!!” She launched herself back off her chair and stomped over to the window throwing it open with such force the glass shattered into a million pieces as it smacked against the wall. Twilight glared down at the foals who in turn looked up at her in shock, the amount of hatred radiating from Twilight’s expression was akin to Celestia’s burning sun. “HEY YOU I’M TRYING TO STUDY HERE, GET OFF MY BUCKING LAWN!!!”

“Um, were not like on your lawn.” One of the fillies retorted. “You don’t even HAVE a lawn, I thought you were supposed to be Celestia’s smartest student.” She added causing the fouls around her to giggle.

“FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM CELESTIA’S MOST GIFTED STUDENT, AND I AM TRYING TO WRITE AN ESSAY OVER HERE!!”

“Ooooooh, an essay. How fun! Sadly since the rest of us have this thing called a life, we don’t have time to spend all day writing some stupid assignment!”

“I do happen to have a life thank you very much!” Twilight retorted proudly puffing out her chest.

“Yes, reading books and kissing Celestia’s flank everyday must be soooo much fun!”

“Books ARE fun!!” Twilight retorted her nostrils flaring in anger “And I am NOT flank kisser!!!”

“Oh yeah?” the filly challenged her smugly “Prove it then!”

Twilight was about to retort with a long speech about the importance of books and the wonders of delving into fantasy and mystery, but then a rather mischievous idea entered her mind. “Okaaaaaaaaaaaay” Twilight said smirking evilly at the offending filly bellow “Wait riiiiiiiiiiiight there” Twilight then briefly returned her head back to her room, and with a flick of her horn removed every book in her possession out of the shelves, used an enlargement spell to grow them the size of a an elephant, levitated them out of her window and finally dropping them all on the unsuspecting foals below. “See wasn’t that fun?” she asked before closing what remained of her glass window and returning to her essay.

“Okay, thirds times the charm!” Twilight mumbled to herself “I’m going to write this essay if it kills me!!!”

She picked up her pen yet again, and was just about to start writing when a giant boom of thunder startled her causing her to jump three feet and upset her inkbottle, spilling ink all over her unfinished essay, followed by a torrent of rain which leaked through her roof all over her dorm room.

Twilight sat there for what felt like an eternity getting soaked as she felt a vein in her temple throbbing from her growing intense anger. Twilight’s vision turned crimson as she allowed her anger to take hold of her.

That Monday every foal was sitting in his or her seat, all eyes were fixed upon a very un-amused Princess Celestia and a rather embarrassed Twilight. Adorned on the blackboard behind them were photos of destroyed houses and buildings, as well as an article discussing what came to be known as Hurricane Twilight.

“If it’s all right with Professor Inkwell, I would like Twilight to present HER assignment first, before she returns to helping fix EVERY SINGLE BUILDING she destroyed!” Princess Celestia remarked with a glance at Inkwell who nodded in agreement. Twilight slowly approached the head of the class, her head hung low refusing to look anypony in the eye as she began reading her essay.

“My essay……….Is on my adventures with Anger Management Class.”