Controlled Chaos

by JackRipper

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Human, Dark
Length: 2101

A human with significant limitations attempts to reach self-fulfillment within Equestria.

I'm not sure why I arrived here. I don't even know the plan of the insidious, cosmic entity that decided to make my life even worse than it already was. I don't belong here, someone such as myself with such a fractured biology could not aspire to live within such an immaculate utopia. I can only hope that I can find my calling here, in the event that I never see home again.

Not to be confused with Hedzntails' story by the same name. Truth be told, I didn't even know it existed until I started writing my story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-01 11:20:02 UTC

Genesis

I was diagnosed with early onset obsessive compulsive disorder and anti-social personality disorder when I was only six years old. My childhood consisted of a cocktail of drugs and indefinite self-loathing. My parents, I'm sure, were as loving as they could be; although it was hard to say, I could never really tell. This new, unfamiliar environment mixed with the absence of standard medication created a recipe for disaster. I'm not saying this to gain sympathy; I don't feel sympathy, at least not in the same way most do. However, I feel that knowing this may provide insight as to what I've done... Hopefully, you'll understand the situation better than I did.

I'm not going into detail as to what I did before I arrived here, or even the most trivial things such as physical appearances. Just know that while my childhood is something I would consider less than ideal, I did have a future set for myself. That was all taken away from me once I was in Equestria. The future from then onward was uncertain.

I woke up in a forest clearing, submerged in bramble, vines, thorns and other various types of unknown flora. The intense sun scorched my eyes and I struggled to breathe within the dense, humid forest. I gasped in pain as several dozen roots and thorns burrowed into my skin as I clawed at the leaves in front of me, desperately trying to get out. After several grueling minutes, I managed to pull myself out of the brush, landing in the middle of the clearing. What I hadn't realized though, was that the adrenaline I had possessed while I was clawing away at the brush kept an acute, extreme and insidious pain away.

It felt as if my blood itched, my whole body was in a state of shock and ignition as an inferno of pain overtook me. The humidity of the forest mixed with this confounding, insatiable agony nearly pushed me into a state of unconsciousness. It was as if I was confined to a skin-tight sleeping bag and hoisted over a roaring campfire. By some inconceivable notion I eventually stood on solid ground and walked a grand total of five steps before promptly collapsing into the earth. For the next few minutes,  I dragged myself across the grass until I reached the edge of the forest clearing, spotting a tribal hut and some indistinguishable quadrupedal creature off in the distance before my vision faded into darkness.

I woke up with a coughing fit and an aching pain across my entire body. My breaths were shallow and my throat felt like it was full of sand. In my delirium, I observed my new surroundings. I was on some kind of makeshift cot, with enough bandages wrapped around my body to warrant a small amount of panic. Another note of concern was my clothes, or lack thereof in this case, for I had nothing more than a loincloth to cover anything explicit. I shivered despite the amount of sweat that had seeped into my bandages; I definitely had a fever. I shifted uncomfortably to one side and admired the orange glow seeping through a nearby window, 'either sunset or sunrise' I mused. I groaned and placed one hand on my stomach and the other on my head, attempting to fight off the severe headache and nausea I was feeling. I was handling the situation well all-in-all, before it walked through the door.

It was a zebra, to put it simply; although there were some distinguishing features that caught my eye. For one, it was much smaller than I was. I mean, I'd never seen a real zebra until now, but I was under the impression that they were as large as horses. Secondly, it was highly decorated in terms of appearance. It had long pierced ears, with golden jewelry around its neck, and tribal markings seemingly painted unto its hindquarters. I looked around the hut in an attempt to locate its owner... when the zebra spoke directly to me.

"It is good that you've finally seen some light, I feared for some time that you would succumb to the blight."

Her voice sounded female, and oh so unnaturally calming. At this point, I wasn't sure if the fever had finally gotten to me and I had started hallucinating, so I decided to test my sanity.

"Water... please," I said in a hoarse voice.

She seemed a bit surprised that I replied, or perhaps that I could even speak in the first place. She nodded and began filling a bowl with water from a basin.

"Had I not helped you, you would be in a state of decay, would you kindly provide some information to repay?"

She waited for a few seconds for a reply before remembering that I urgently needed water; she held the bowl of water in her mouth and brought it over to me. I whispered a 'thank you' and greedily swallowed as much water as I could, savoring the coolness of it.

I took in a few deep breaths, "My name is Jack Dominic Marshall," I said with a voice as even and clear as I could manage.

She gave me a perplexed look, "A creature with more than two titles? Is having more than one name where you're from necessary, or vital?"

I nodded my head slightly, wincing at the pain that the headache brought me, "There are many of us where I'm from. We need more than one name to help us identify each other. Most of us have three names, some even have four or more."

She glanced at the front door before looking back at me, "Interesting. Nevertheless, I must seek somepony in particular to put you to the test."

I raised my brow in response, "Test? What kind of test?"

She opened the front door and looked back at me, "A test to see if you will be fit for pony society, and not a target of high notoriety."

She added one more detail before closing the door, "My name is Zecora. It has been a pleasure to meet you. I can only hope that I do not have to bid you adieu."

I groaned and slumped into the cot as I heard the door close in front of me, a spike of pain ran across my back. The ache wasn't my problem right now, if my reputation wasn't to standard, I could be condemned just for being alive. Suddenly being dead sounded like a much more favorable process now.

It was strange though, if she felt the need to find someone of higher authority to come examine me, then why was she willing to leave me alone in her house? Perhaps she trusted me more than she let on, considering I hadn't tried anything malicious. That being said, even if I could overpower her, I wouldn't get very far. There was a jungle behind me, and a village nearby; I would stick out like a sore thumb if I ran towards the village, and I'd rather not take a gamble about what lurks in that forest. A sharp pain interrupted my thoughts as I rolled over to one side. Hopefully, the non-stop pain I felt wouldn't stop me from getting some much needed rest. Maybe the next time I woke up, I would stop suffering from this very convincing delusion.

Unfortunately for me, I was always a light sleeper. I woke up to the sound of the front door opening, I was asleep for maybe half an hour at the most. It looked like Zecora had fetched the pony she was looking for, and she appeared far more mythical and life-like than anything I'd ever seen. Her coat was a lavender shade of purple; her mane was a dark blue, uniquely dyed in the middle so that her hair was divided seemingly in half. She was slightly taller than Zecora and had the features of a unicorn and a pegasus, sporting both wings and a horn. Her approach, while cautious, was confident and determined. All in all, I could see what Zecora meant by 'authority figure'.

She took a few tentative steps forward before speaking, "Your name is Marshall, correct?"

I nodded automatically, while it wasn't usual for her to refer to me by my last name, I wasn't about to correct her.

She gave me a small comforting smile, "Excellent. It's nice to meet you, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Zecora has already told me a little bit about yourself, but would you care to indulge me?"

Her horn glowed a purple aura and a quill from her satchel floated effortlessly through the air, telekinesis. My head suddenly felt heavier and the nausea came back at full force, winding me and forcing me to lay back down. I groaned out loud and she immediately dropped her quill, a worried expression forming on her face.

She bit her lip and rushed over to me, "Oh Celestia! I'm sorry! I didn't realize you would have such an adverse reaction to magic. Are you alright?"

"There's magic here?" I asked incredulously.

She gave me a small smirk and removed a piece of parchment from her satchel, "It looks like we're going to be here for a a while."

Nightfall had arrived by the time Twilight had paused to catch her breath. It was a fairly one-sided conversation; I'd go as far as to call it an interrogation. From our time shared, I deduced that Equestria was most certainly in another world, and it would be awhile before I'd find my way home. We found that my world and her world share far too many similarities for it to be a coincidence; they were strange parallels of each other. She may have been satisfied with the answers I'd given her, but I was left with many more questions than answers.

Twilight sighed in content as she reclined in a seat across from me, instead of asking her any questions, I quietly drank the herbal tea Zecora had brought me.

"Well I'm sure you have plenty of questions, but don't worry. I'm going to speak to Princess Celestia and see if I can arrange a meeting, she's a very busy pony, after all," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I raised my eyebrows at the word 'Princess'.

"Should I be concerned?" I asked cautiously, not quite feeling in the clear anymore. If there was one thing that could lead to jail time, it would be insulting the leader of this country.

She gave me a lighthearted chuckle, "Of course not, Princess Celestia is the nicest soul you'll ever meet. She just has to meet you face-to-face, diplomacy and such. I'll also ask her to have you examined. You said you haven't been feeling well since you've arrived here, correct?"

"Like hell," I retorted.

"Tartarus," she corrected,"hopefully Princess Celestia will be able to provide some insight as to what might be causing whatever illness you have. I've never even seen a creature that has adverse reactions to magic."

'Nicest soul' didn't mean much to me, though my religious views had been thoroughly shaken after everything I'd witnessed; I also didn't like the fact that she hid the word 'hopefully' into her sentence, it meant that her princess had done questionable things in the past. I had a few theories as to why Twilight's magic bothered me, and even more solid reasoning as to why I felt sick. I was suffering withdraws from a lack of medication for my ailments, and I'm sure my body was suffering on a biological scale from the new planet I was thrown onto. Either way, answering any more questions tonight was certainly something I didn't wish to do.

I rolled over on one side and pulled a blanket over myself, I still couldn't tell if I was hot or cold. The soup Zecora had concocted for me had made me feel a bit drowsy, but I wasn't nearly as tired as I made myself appear. I yawned audibly, hinting to Twilight that I needed sleep, and that getting any more information out of me would be a fruitless effort.

"I'll write a letter to Celestia asking for her to come meet you tomorrow. She'll probably have you come up to Canterlot with her in the afternoon. I can't wait to speak to you again Marshall," Twilight said, this time with audible enthusiasm in her voice.

Likewise, Twilight," I said to her autonomously before sinking into a deep slumber.

What a shit-show.