“Hey, you!” Somepony yelled.
“Shut up, okay. Just leave me alone.” I said, leaving.
“Oh! Just walk away, huh blank flank?” Taunted the tall one.
“Yeah, walk away so we can't see you cry. Cry baby!” Said another.
“I'm tired of everypony calling me a crybaby or stupid! If they want a cry baby, I'll show you!” i yelled, lunging ta them.
* * *
I was called into a office because of what happen a couple of days ago. I opened the door and saw the room. It was bright despite the shades being down. I saw somepony being in the room.
"Good evening, Babs. I'm glad you were able to show up today." He said, smiling.
Ugh, why do I have to be here? I beat up a few fillies, so what? They had it coming. I didn't reply back to him and closed the door behind me.
"I just wanted to let you know on the new info that was brought to my attention from a few days ago. None of them are going to press charges so you don't have to worry about that. Come, sit down." He said, calmly.
They better not... They deserved it after all. I didn't say anything and went to sit down a wooden chair. He continued to talk.
"With that in mind, I wanted to talk to you and understand why it happened. I realize I might sound demanding, but I will need you to explain why and how it happened. I wish for this incident behind us but in order to do that, we need to confront the problem head on and think of better ways to handle your anger. We will try to get through this quickly so you can be on your way. Is that fair?" He asked.
I nodded but didn't look back at him.
"Good. Now the first thing I need you to do is talk about what happened that day. Can you do that?" He asked.
I didn't reply.
"I need you to talk, Babs. I won't be able to help you unless you tell me." He said.
I still didn't reply. I don't want to be here. It's not wrong to teach bad fillies a lesson.
"I noticed your shaking. Is something wrong?" He asked, concerned.
"...It's nothing." I replied, annoyed.
He looked at me with a concern look but I didn't pay any mind to it.
"Let me... change the subject a bit. How are at home. Happy? Sad? What do you do when you're not at school?" He asked.
I didn't reply or look at him.
"Maybe something or somepony is bothering you at home?" He asked.
I stayed silent as he keep pestering me. I just wanted to go home.
"Hmm... maybe we should put that on hold for now. Let's jump back to our previous subject. What happen?" He asked.
I knew he wouldn't stop asking so I finally spoke.
"...I was mad. Really mad. I...I just wanted them to stop talking." I replied.
"Why were you mad?" he asked.
"Because... Because they kept calling me names. I just wanted them to be quiet." I replied.
"What did they say to you?" He asked.
I was reluctant to tell him but he looked at me and said,
"Don't worry. I'm only here to help. Now, what did they said?"
"...They called me things like stupid, black flank, crybaby. I'm not a crybaby. I'm tough!" I yelled.
He wrote something down although I couldn't tell what.
"I understand that name calling can make anypony angry but, you can't just go around hurting other ponies just because of that." He said.
"Why don't you understand? Why do you persist on asking me questions?" I asked, about to cry.
"I'm only trying to help. Something or somepony made you violent, witch in return, caused you to beat some other fillies. With your own hoofs no less. You're lucky that nopony decided to press charges or any type of consequence for that matter. Everypony here is scared of you. Doesn't that bother you?" he replied, worried.
"Why would it?! They deserve it for bothering me so much! I asked nicely but they still continued to harass me!" I yelled.
I saw fear in his eyes as I said that. He wrote something down once more.
"I've also heard that you've been acting strange recently. I've been told that your uncertain of your actions, hostile and you lash out at everypony. So why is that? What make you act this way?" He asked.
"Stop pestering me!" I yelled, crying.
He looked at me confused like he wasn't aware of what he did.
"Was it something I said? I didn't mean to hurt you." he said, worried.
I didn't want to be here anymore. I just wanted to go home and stay there...
"I wanna go home." I said.
"You can't just yet. We aren't done yet." He said.
Just leave me alone. I didn't ask for help or to be here. Why...? Why can't I go home?
"Now... what was the final straw that caused you to attack?" He asked.
"...I was just mad. About everything and everypony. About being here... about leaving home.
Just everything." I replied.
Your from Manehattan, correct?" He asked.
I nodded.
"I don't know what else to do... I just wanted to stay there. I didn't want to leave. I was fine when I was there but ever since I got here... " I said, stopping myself.
He didn't say anything at first. He looked at me and smiled.
"Your homesick. Is that why you've been lashing out?" He asked.
"It's not just that. It's the ponies here. They look down on me just because I'm different. But if I go back home... everything will be ok." I replied.
"Hmm... I think I see the issue here. You didn't want to leave home and are surrounded by a different environment and hence, not use to being seen as the outcast. Is that correct?" He asked.
I nodded but didn't reply.
"I'm not to sure how things are at home but judging from what you said, you don't seem to be on good terms with them since you moved here. On top of that, you don't know anypony here which stresses you out. You feel as nopony is listening to you which results in you letting your anger out. It is because of your sudden move, starting somewhere your not use to, I can safely say it's taken a mental toll on you. I think that's why you beat up those fillies. Not just because of them calling you names. You let your fear and anger consume you. If you take responsibly from this and apologize to them, you can heal from this and have a better experience than what you're currently feeling." He said, calmly.
He's not wrong... I was scared and helpless about moving. I didn't want to be the odd filly out. I just wanted to be heard and have a voice in the matter... I felt as nopony would listening to me so I thought maybe fear would work. The only thing it did was make it worse.
"I think if you visit me more often and we talk things through, you can deal with your fear and anger without resorting to physical violence. I understand how difficult this is and I realize it will take some time but that's the best thing for you right now." He said.
"...Your right. I'm sorry for lashing out at you earlier. Everything you just said is true. I felt scared that I wouldn't be able to make friends or fit in. I let my fear and anger consume me thinking that would solve everything. I was wrong and I realize it now... If I can, I want to apologize to them when I can." I said, with a faint smile.
He smiled as I said that.
"I know it wasn't easy to talk about this but I'm glad you opened up. I realize admitting to something as difficult as thing isn't easy but in the end, all that matters is you getting better." He said.
I felt somewhat better after this. I know it wouldn't be a easy path but I feel as I can only tell it will get better.
"Excuse me, I'll be right back." He said.
He got up and went out for a minute. After about three minutes, he appeared along with the three fillies I beat up before. I got off the chair and look at them and said,
"I know what I did was wrong and I realize I won't be forgiven right away but... I'm sorry for hurting you guys. Can you forgive me?"
They looked at me coldly but after a few seconds, they smiled.
"I-it's fine. Just don't hurt us again, ok?" Asked the tall one.
I nodded and with that, while some ponies feared me, I knew in time I would be forgiven eventually. I will miss my old home but I can make new memories here and with time, I can make to friends.
