Torn

by pixelbit5

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Changelings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Slice of Life
Length: 19137

I can't keep doing this. I have to tell my friends that I'm a changeling. How will they react? But on the other hoof, if my hive finds out about my friends, I'll be exiled for sure. I guess I'll have to choose...

Okay, let's get this out of the way. My name is Peek, and I'm a changeling.

So, ponies arent that bad. Who knew? Well, the thing is that I've been tasked with infiltrating Princess Twilight's social circle, and somehow turn the Elements of Harmony against eachother. Should be simple, I mean, I've done things like this a hundred times before.

But, guess what, these ponies are friendly! And I hate to say it, but I think I've taken a liking to these fluffy fleshbags. They're my friends, and I don't want to hurt my friends.

But one thing that's been on my mind lately, I can't keep this up. I can't keep lying to my friends. But how would they react? I mean, they haven't had the best experience with my kind. I can only hope they can be as accepting as they are with actual ponies. But on the other hoof, if I don't follow through on the mission, I'll be kicked out of the hive. I'll be all alone.

I guess I'll have to choose...

Published 2016-09-09 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-22 01:55:18 UTC

Prologue

Who am I? Well, the answer is simple. I am no more than a simple changeling drone doing everything he can for our hive and our queen. I am nothing special, and I don't try to be. I am exactly the same as my hundreds of thousands of brothers and sisters. And of course, I am happy. Now, changelings might not be the most accepted members of Equestrian society, but we try. We're a family, and families stick together. Sometimes it's hard, but with hard work and everyling doing their fair share, we've survived for eons. I mean, we are a hive mind after all. We speak to eachother.

But even after all of this, we were almost defeated at the hands of those miserable ponies. I lost so many of my siblings that day, and mother was furious. She wouldn't see any of us, wouldn't give any sort of order and just let the hive run on autopilot for a few months. It was a trying time for everyling, and some of us even deserted the hive in desperation. We all feared that our queen had finally lost it, that she had been pushed one step too far and that she would never be the same again.

Though she did manage pull it together long to launch another attack on those miserable little hairballs. She almost succeeded, too! Unfortunately, it ultimately ended in mother losing her throne, her hive, and the majority of those of whom she had once called family. Traitors, all of them. Forced to regroup with the small group of still loyal supporters and form a new hive, it was a hard few months for all of us, but we got through it.

Though Chrysalis began to grow more distraught by the day. With two defeats under her belt, her pure, unbridled hatred began to echo throughout the hive mind. We could feel the distain she had for those rotten ponies, and of her children of whom had disserted her for… them.

But one day, she returned to her throne, looking more confident than ever. Everyling had thought that she had finally put all of that Canterlot business behind her, but, to be honest, I think she was more consumed than ever. She had come up with some half-baked plan to get back at the ponies that defeated her; infiltrate their circles, tear them apart from the inside by any means possible. Supposedly simple for creatures like us. We had done the exact same things with nobles and such dozens of time before, so this would be a cinch.

She couldn't do it herself of course, she loathed those things. Couldn't stand a second around them. So, of course, the task had to fall upon one of us. Now, noling stepped up immediately, as none of us really wanted to get wrapped up in mother's short-sighted revenge plans, so she happened to choose me. I think it's because she's seen how I've handled other missions of this sort before. She said I wasn't important to the hive. Disposable. Forgettable. I guess I'm okay with that. All I've ever wanted to do was to help our hive and our glorious queen, so I took the job happily.

I head over to their town in a few hours. I'm a little bit scared, but with mother behind me, I know I can handle it. This will be nothing compared to some of the other missions I've been on before. Simple. Infiltrate their group, tear them apart from the inside. Couldn't be easier. Right?

Ch 2: Bubble baths and broken horns

I open my eyes, and then immediately close them. I think the sunlight just burned my retinas to a smoldering crisp. I want to just snuggle back down and get back to sleep, but I unfortunately have stuff to do today. Shame, too. Nothing back at the hive was ever this comfortable. I reluctantly push the covers off of me, surrendering myself to the cold. I shiver and step out of bed, feeling the cold, hard crystal floors clink under my hooves. Heh. Sounds almost musical.

I check my disguise. Okay, I'm good. Still Black Light, so no changes there. I blink a few times, my eyes still adjusting to the sunlight streaming in through the window. I head across to the door connecting my room to the hall, but stop before I reach it. I think of what lay beyond it. That princess. I think of her, trying to be at least the teeniest bit disgusted by her, to feel the smallest sliver of hatred, loathing or contempt. I sigh in defeat. I can't do it. I, a changeling, may I remind you, has somehow become friends with his natural enemy. Somehow.

I stamp my hoof and growl, mostly at myself. Why didn't I hate this repulsive creature? Why couldn't I feel at least the smallest speck of ridicule for this creature whose species has murdered countless of my brethren? Do I actually care for this purple pony princess?

No. Of course not, don't be silly, Peek. You're a cold, emotionless changeling infiltrator. You serve only your hive and your queen. Nothing more, nothing less. You were bred for this. This is your one and only purpose. Disguise, infiltrate, destabilise. Remember who you are, Peek. Okay, okay. Think I'm good.

I open the door slowly and step out into the main hall. "Twilight?" I call out. No answer. I wonder for a while, no real destination in mind. Eventually I happen apon the kitchen. There, I find something that someling that hadn't done any research would probably find a little surprising. A teeny tiny little purple and green dragon, standing on a stool, wearing a heart apron, and making pancakes. A freak of nature, really. And to think that this ferocious beast has been demoted to a pony princess' maid. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't eaten her already.

I fake surprise. "You… You're a…" I make sure to widen my eyes and back up a few paces in 'astonishment'. He takes notice of me. "You're a dragon?"

"Yep! That's me! Spike the dragon!" he says puffing out his chest. "Number 1 assistant to the princess might I add!" He's obviously quite proud of that title. "You must be Black Light." he says, turning back to his pancakes, flipping one onto a stack on a nearby plate. "Twilight told me all about you last night." Okay, going to pretend that that's not at all creepy for a second.

"And where is she?" I ask, just trying to get to the point. "I… may have an important appointment to get to later, and I have no idea of how to get around this place." Not an entire lie. I did study a few maps, but you try remembering every single building in a town. It's pretty much impossible.

"She had to rush out to do some princess stuff for Celestia. I'm sure she'll be back soon though." he says, flipping another pancake onto the plate. "Until then, feel free." He motions to the plate next to him, stacked high with pancakes. Yeah, no way I'm letting those get anywhere near my snout.

"No thanks." I politely decline this abomination's poison. He looks at me, his expression… mixed, I guess.

"We have syrup." he says dumbly, as if it might change my mind. Plot twist, it doesn’t. In another life maybe. I shake my head, subtly trying to end the conversation. "Come on, they're good!" he says. Yeah, buddy, nothing is going to make me eat your bucking pancakes, okay?

"Really, I'm fine." I say. "But really though, I do have an important appointment to make." Spike looks a little deflated, but I'm sure the lizard will be fine. "Any idea how to get to the spa?" I ask.

He smiles. "Yeah! Sure! I'll take you after breakfast!" He flips a final pancake onto the plate and takes off his apron. He climbs clumsily off of the stool and grabs the plate, setting it on the table. "Sure you don't want any?" he asks once again. Dude. Come on. Get it through your little dragon skull. I don't want any of your bucking pancakes. I don't say this out loud of course, kinda trying to make friends with the little drake. But if I could, hoo boy I would, if only to see the look on his little purple face. He's up on a chair, smothering the plate in copious amounts of disgusting syrup. Okay, even for a changeling, I know that that's a little much.

"Really Spike, I'm fine." I say. Really wish I could go with the other one right now, but what can you do. "Just enjoy your pancakes."

"Heh?" he hehs. Half the pancakes are already gone. Figures. I swear, this little guy inhales pancakes faster than I inhale love.

"Never mind." I say, walking out of the kitchen. "Just call me if you need me."

Weirdo.

"Bye Spike!" I call, waving behind me. I honestly couldn't be more relieved to finally be at the spa. For one, Spike wouldn't shut up. He kept pointing out every single building, giving me an anecdote for each, and he stopped to introduce me to no less than seven ponies. Ugh. Also, the faster I get into this prissy little place, the faster I can get my horn fixed. I'm already going without wings, and that's inconvenient enough, but my horn? No. That's inequine.

Heh. Now that I look at it, this building kinda looks like a lumpy circus tent. Though I guess these weirdos do kinda have a 'happy fantasy town' aesthetic going on, so it doesn't look too out of place, I guess. I step forward without a second thought, hearing a little bell signal my entrance. I'm hit immediately with the smell. It's… Actually, I'm not entirely sure how to describe it. It's sort of subtly sweet, but almost sickening at the same time… I feel like I should be repulsed, but to be honest, it's kind of relaxing really. Like… really strong roses.

I don't make it too far before I'm mobbed by a pink pony with a blue mane held back with a hair band. "Oh velcome to zee Ponyville spa!" Huh. I recognise the accent, I just can't put a hoof on where it's from though. "I am Aloe! Are jou new here? I haven't seen jou around." Oh Chrysalis this pony is annoying. I just want to get my horn fixed, then I'm out.

I nod. "Yeah, I'm just in the process of moving here." I give a half-hearted chuckle. "I'm Black Light, by the way. I have an appointment?"

Aloe's eyes widen and she smiles. "Oh, jes! Vould jou happen to be zee princess' new friend?" Huh. Small town. I nod, and she waves me over to a lounge chair near the wall. "Come, come! Zee princess Twilight has paid in full!" Huh. Y'know, I'm really finding it hard to hate that mare. Ugh. Why do these idiots need to be so NICE!? Okay Peek, stay cool. You're a changeling infiltrator. You've dealt with worse. Snobby nobles, angry delegates… Actually, come to think of it, those guys were all jerks. Huh.

I let myself be led onto one of the chairs by the wall, casually thinking how absurd it is to be taking orders from a stupid pony. I set myself down on my stomach, folding my hooves beneath me. "I vill be back in a second." Aloe says, walking off into the back of the spa.

"Oh dearie me!" I hear from beside me. "That chip looks absolutely terrible!" I turn my head, shifting my weight a little, seeing a white unicorn, deep purple mane and tail in curlers, and a face mask. "Oh, that is just dreadful!" she lifts up a hoof to rub her own horn. "May I ask how exactly it happened?"

I chuckle and give a little smile. But OH MY CHRISILIS. LEAVE ME ALONE! Of course I can't say this to her face, but at the moment, I really just want to get in and out as fast as possible. Ugh. I'm worse off than an earth pony. Okay Peek, keep calm, there's still a stupid pony right next to you. Play it cool.

"I was… in a cart accident." I say, really just wanting to drop it as soon as possible.

The unicorn frowns lightly. "It must have been quite severe to take off that much." I wince as I glance up at the stub at the edge of my vison. The unicorn holds out a hoof, which I begrudgingly shake. "My name is Rarity." she smiles sympathetically. I nod. "Black Light." I say, returning the smile.

Right. So it's that Rarity. I'm pretty sure she's one of Twilight's friends. Okay. Try to make friendly with her too. Noted. Two down, four to go. I think.

Rarity looks at me, puzzled for a second. "I haven't seen you around in Ponyville recently." she says, adjusting her mane. "Would you be passing through?" Okay, why is everyling here so. Bucking. NOSEY?! Ugh. This is what I have to deal with. Okay, right about now, I'd like to go back to those nobles. At least they didn't give a buck about you and you could hate them in peace. But with these candy coloured abominations, you can't be mean to them! Seriously! They go all mopey and sad! Just… UUUUUUUUGH!!!

"Actually, I'm right in the middle of moving here." I say with a little smile. Rarity seems to like that. I mean, I know she does. Seriously, I can feel the happiness flowing right through her. Weirdo. "Glad to hear it!" she says. "It'll be nice to have another new face in town!" She gives an annoying little giggle.

I half-heartedly chuckle back, if only to be polite. "Would you happen to have accommodations all sorted yet?" she asks. "Or are you staying with somepony special?"

"Well actually, I'm staying with Princess Twilight for the time being." I say, waiting to see her reaction. Three… Two… And…

"You're staying with Twilight?!" she gasps. I nod.

"Yeah. You know her?" I say. Of course she does, I did the research. But still, they can't know that. Infiltrator, remember?

She looks shocked. "Darling, she happens to be one of my best friends!" she breaks into a massive smile. "However did you and Twilight meet?" Her tone says curious, but her emotions say SPILL THE DETAILS.

I wince. "Well, you know that cart crash I was in? The one that smashed my horn?" She nods. I stare at the ground. "Well, Twilight had to pull me out of that." She's shocked.

"Well, I'm relieved that you're alright now, darling" she says sympathetically. I nod. It's appreciated. I mean, it was mostly my fault. And even though it's coming from a pony of all places, I can still feel that she really cares about me, even though she really as no reason to. Makes it feel more substantial I guess. I still despise them of course, that hasn't changed, but still.

"Meester Light? Eef jou could face zis vay?" Oh great, spa pony's back, and overplaying the accent like whoa. I turn my head and Aloe gently takes my head and starts filing my horn down. Okay. Getting somewhere. It stings lightly, sending magical pangs down my spine. I think my disguise almost disengages a couple of times, but I hold it together as best I can.

"So, Black Light, may I ask what exactly it is that you do?" Rarity asks, shifting her position to face towards me a little more. Well Rarity, what I'm doing right now is wishing that I could just get this over with, but that's not exactly a thing that I can say to your face. "I'm a linguist." I say, shivering from the residual magic escaping from my system. "I study cryptography. Codes. Writing on the wall." Rarity nods. Lies, of course, but I've always liked this sort of thing. Plus, I can probably get an 'out of the limelight' sort of job. Two birds, one ling.

Rarity gives a bit of a flourish. "I myself run a boutique just off of main." She chuckles. "You should come by some time, dear! I think that I just might have the perfect item for you!"

"I think I just might!" I say with a smile and a nod. And to be honest, it's not entirely fake. I mean, I am a changeling. Appearances are important for us.

I feel something clasp onto my horn. Looking up, I see that a magical limiter has been clipped onto the base of my horn. I reach up and tap it a couple times with a hoof. Aloe giggles. "All done!" she says. Hopping down from the chair, I can feel my magic passively working to repair my horn. Feels tingly. Looking into my reflection in a window, I see that my horn has been filed down to a pointy little stump. Aloe places a hoof on my withers. "Now, eet should take about a month to grow back. Try not to do too much magic for a while." I nod, just happy to have this whole ideal out of the way.

I head for the door, glancing back. Rarity gives a little wave, smiling. I wave back and give a smile of my own. I walk out of the spa, the bell ringing behind me. Honestly, I haven't felt this good in ages. The feeling of having someling truly care for you. To be more than just a drone, a number, one little insignificant piece of the puzzle that is the changeling hive. It just makes me feel sort of giddy inside.

Walking back to the castle, I have a little more of a spring in my step. I just can't help myself really. You know, I honestly thought that this might be a bit of a slog. But now, I think that this might just be a walk in the park!

Ch 3: A walk in the park

You know what? Buck it. I'm in a good mood for the first time in ages, and it's a beautiful day, so sure. Why the heck not. Let's go for a little wonder.

I stop about a hundred feet short of the castle and take a quick detour through a side alley and into the market street. All around me I can see ponies going about their days, hustling and bustling about, all completely oblivious to the bugpony but a few feet away from them. It's an amazing feeling, just… being here, noling paying you any attention at all. Some changelings would kill for this. Equestrians still haven't completely accepted our kind, even with the whole 'sparkly changeling' thing that went down a few months back, and ponies still tend to run screaming whenever they see our kind. Of course I'm talking about real changelings, not those sparkly hivewrecking traitors. So it feels amazing to just be here, to be treated like somepony instead of someling, and to not be seen as some… some… parasitic monster.

I just sort of walk aimlessly for a while, just soaking in the scene. There's a sort of subdued joy in the air that I can't quite catch. It's like everyone here is happy without reason, just being among friends, getting out of the house, just… being. The thought can't help but make me smile a bit. It's infectious.

Around me in the wooden stalls covered in multi-coloured tarps I can see all sorts of goods and curios that are really quite intriguing to me. One stall has boxes apon boxes of cherries, one consists entirely of lamps, another a cart filled to the brim with apples, the next topped with multi-coloured potions of all makes. I take a look at a few stalls, not really in the mood to buy anything. I mean, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I'm still broke as heck. I don't have a job yet. Really should get on that…

Eh. Later.

This just feels… right. To see ponies passing you left and right, passing you by without a second thought. This is the life a changeling craves. Camouflaged, inconspicuous, a face in the crowd. In this moment, I'm not Peek, changeling infiltrator and minion of Queen Chrysalis, I'm Black Light the unicorn, nopony special. And I love it.

Walking past a few out of the market street, I step into the town square, the town hall, a stage of sorts, paths leaving off to every part of town, and... Oh, uh… Right. That. The Ponyville fountain. Okay, now that I'm here and not staring through the haze of my own concussive stupor, I can see exactly where I hit. And of course, just as it took a sizable chunk out of me, I took a sizable chunk out of it. There's a bit of rock missing, there are cracks webbing up its side, and some of the water is slowly leaking out. I can't help feel a little guilty. I mean, it was a conscious decision, so I can't help but take at least some responsibility.

Wait. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Ha-ha! I thought that this was just some shiny rock! Yeah, nope. Black, a little sparkly, radiating magic energy… Yeah, that's the chunk of my horn alright. I almost didn't recognise it. It's all lumpy and misshapen like a regular changeling horn. Must have disconnected from me after it snapped off. I can't help but snicker a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation here. I pick up the chunk and press it to my forehead. Right where it belongs. Heh. Well, right about now it's pretty much useless to me beyond being a glorified paperweight with ludicrous sentimental value. Even with that, I decide to take it anyway. Still a part of me, after all. Couldn't find it in myself to leave it behind.

I look at the crash scene. Ugh. I can still feel the sickening crack of bone on stone, my horn shattering before my eyes. Yeah… Time to get that image out of my head. And now that I think about it, where the heck is my cart? I had all my stuff in that thing! I had some books, a blanket, I think there was a lamp in there somewhere, and… uh… Okay, so I was traveling light. I'm a changeling. Keep in mind here that we're not known to be the most material creatures.

Well, something to think about later. Shaking my head, I start away from the square, pushing the crash into the deepest recesses of my mind. Not something to think about now. I walk through the streets, passing rows of weirdly shaped houses, each coloured in a range of pinks and yellows, foliage hanging from windowsills and plants neatly trimmed outside the doors. I have to say, at first, the little fantasy town aesthetic kind of annoyed me, but now I find it growing on me a little. Sure, it's no changeling hive, but for now, I guess it'll make do.

I step off the dirt road and into a large field of grass, paths criss-crossing its width, trees and benches placed every so often, garden beds lined with flowers and knee high hedges. I don't know why, but it makes me want to take off, just buzz around for a bit, fly up high and watch this town pass by below me. But of course, I can't. Kinda ditched the wings when I changed, and now that I've clearly established myself as a unicorn, I'm not sure I'll be able to change back without someling noticing. I mean, these ponies are a little thick, but they're not complete idiots, as much as changelings want to believe.

I start mindlessly wandering, just sort of going wherever my hooves take me. Over here, over there, just whatever gets my attention, really. I notice a lot of things that no normal pony would even pay any mind, from the speckled shine of the sun through the leaves of trees or bees flittering around the vibrantly multi-coloured flowerbeds. It's all quite the experience.

I plonk myself down at the base of a shady tree, chuckling lightly. The hive got nothin' on this little country town. I don't know why, but this is the most content I've been since I was a grub. Just something about the way the wind whistles through the leaves or how the sky never seems to cloud over in storm, it makes me feel more at home than I ever did at the hive. The cold grey walls replaced with rolling green fields, the gnarled and dead trees of changeling country replaced with the content tranquillity of the town park, the shifting walls of the hive replaced with neat little rows of clean town houses. You know, I should get out more. Not just for assignments or anything, but just for myself, y'know? Just a little me time. Grab some bits, head someplace, Baltimare maybe, and just sort of hang there for a while. Yeah. I think that'd be nice.

I stare forwards, unfocused, lost in thought. Just sitting there half-lidded, back to a tree, almost but not quite dozing off on the cool grass, just quietly watching Ponyville go by before my eyes. But slowly, a pinkish blur works its way into my vision from above. I blink and focus, shifting my gaze to the poof of fur now residing in front of my eyeballs. Okay, right. This is possibly one of the strangest things I have ever witnessed. A bright pink earth pony is hanging in front of my face, bright pink cotton candy tail wrapped around a sturdy branch, staring at me with big blue eyes and grinning like nothing before, and I can only think one thing.

"What?"

She giggles and reaches out a hoof and sticks her tongue out booping me on the snout. I scrunch up my muzzle in response, bringing up a hoof of my own to rub my snout. "Found you." she whispers, her ears flopping in the wind. I… uh… Okay, I have no idea who this filly is, and frankly, she's weirding me out right about now. She continues to stare into my eyes and I shift uncomfortably, not sure if I should go or stay. Though I'm not completely sure what the heck is going on, I can still voice one thing.

"What?"

The filly pulls out a pink envelope decorated in hearts and stars from who knows where and holds it out to me. I hesitantly take it from the filly's hooves, who is now bouncing in place, still hanging a good two feet above the ground. Before I even get to process what the Tartarus has just happened, the pony starts to slowly rise back into the branches of the tree above me, disappearing from sight. I turn over the letter in my hooves and continue to stare at the space that the filly had just occupied. And, like some sort of broken record, I can once again only repeat my confusion.

"What?"

I stand and peer into the branches of the tree, still speckled with midday sun, but I find that the filly is nowhere in sight. I can see all the way to the other side, and no pink pony. I shake my head and step back to the base of the tree, sitting back down. I have so many questions.

I shift my gaze back to the letter, still in my hoof. I tear it open with my teeth, kinda missing my magic, and pull out the envelope. Or at least I try to. But from somewhere, I get blasted with confetti...

You know what? Not going to ask why, not going to ask how, because if I do, I think I might just start going completely insane.

I blow the confetti off my face and shake some out of my mane before pulling the letter the rest of the way out. Okay, still as pink as the envelope, and whoever that filly was, she sure was liberal with the glitter. It's almost insulting to the eye, but not quite. I scan the scratchy cursive and begin to read.

You're invited!

You've been invited to Black Light's welcome to Ponyville party!

Come to Sugarcube corner this Saturday for fun, food, games and music!
See you there!
~Pinkie Pie

I continue to stare at this brightly decorated piece of construction paper for a few more seconds, dumbfounded. I sputter and turn my gaze back to the empty space that the filly had just occupied, mouth agape. I have way too many questions to be able to put into words, but I can however articulate one single familiar word that by now has imprinted itself onto my brain.

"What?!"

The party was later that night, but I decided to push it into the back of my mind for now. I really didn't need another thing to worry about, much less a reality breaking party mare. I am going to say one thing though. Either I'm crazy, or this town is. Not really sure which at this stage. Could go either way really.

Anyway, back on topic, I'm over at the town hall to pick up the immigration package that they have reserved for me. I wrote ahead about a week before this whole ordeal started, you know, letting the Ponyvillian council know that some random unicorn was moving in. You know, this place could use some work. It looks like it's been built and re built a few too many times. Anyway, let's see here, it should be right over… Gotcha.

"Hello!"

I jump and skitter backwards. "Holy fudgesickle!" I catch myself.

"I'm quite sorry, did I startle you?" Oh my Chrysalis, lady, how thick are you? Yes. Yes you did startle me! And what the Tartarus are you even doing? You don't sneak up on a guy like that! That's just not something you do! I just… I…

I take a deep breath and regain my composure. "Yeah, sorry." I say calmly, collecting the envelope and my horn piece off the ground. Really wish I had my saddlebags. "Today's just been a bit much for me." I say with a smile. "Moving and all."

The mare's eyes widen. "You must be Black Light! I got your letter!" She ticked out a hoof. "My name is Ivory Scroll, but most just call me Mayor Mare. And I must say this it is a delight having you here." Nodding, I accept and give her a hoofshake. "Now, here I have a package reserved for you here, and all you have to do is sign off on it." she says, gesturing to the package. I nod again, almost reaching out with my magic, before remembering the whole no magic thing. I sigh, walking over to the table and pick up the pen in my mouth, scribbling my new fake signature on a line at the bottom.

Satisfied, Ivory helps me transfer the package to my back and I start heading for the door. "Don't be a stranger!" she calls after me. "Remember, you can always come find me if you have a problem, and I'll be happy to help!" Yeah, let's not do that. First off, I really don't care, and second, I think I'll be able to function on my own, thank you. I mean, come on. I'm 26.

Leaving the building with this unfamiliar weight on my withers really makes me wish I had my saddlebags. It'd just be easier to carry all this stuff I guess. You know what? I'll just drop all of this stuff off at Twilight's castle. I'm sure she won't mind. I mean, as far as I've seen so far, she doesn't mind my exploitation of her too much. Yeah. Let's do that. I mean, she clearly doesn't mind letting me stay in her home for a bit, so why not use it as a bit of an impromptu dumping ground as well?

Bonbon's bakery, that's a no, really don't see myself as any sort of baker. Ponytone A Capella group? No. Doesn't really seem much like a real job, plus I can't sing for oats. Weather crew is off the table, can't touch clouds. Farmhand at the Golden Harvest farm? Nah. Quill and sofa salesman? Yeah, that's a no. Actually still wondering why that's a thing.

"Any luck?" Twilight asks, trotting over to where I sit in her library. I shake my head, not looking up from the pamphlet.

I groan quietly. "I swear, either it's something that I have no interest in, or it's something I'm completely unqualified for!" I say, throwing my hooves up in the air. "I know that linguistics is a bit niche but there has to be something here for me!"

Sitting down on the other side of the table, Twilight hums in thought, levitating a mug of coffee over to me. "I heard The Doctor is looking for a new assistant?" she says. It's clear that it's not really a suggestion to be taken seriously, just another option that probably won't fit me. I look up from the paper. "What happened to the last one?" I ask. Twilight winces. "She…" she starts. "She's in hospital. Chemical burns." Twilight rubs her foreleg uncomfortably.

"She okay?" I ask, not just making small talk. I actually am a little worried.

Twi puts on an obviously fake smile. "Yeah. Yeah. Derpy should be fine in a few weeks." she says. I nod and take a sip from my mug. "Sure is doing a number on her daughter though…" Twilight mutters. I decide not to push it too far and turn back to the task at hoof. I swear, we'll be here all day at this rate.

Stagehand for a 'Vinyl Scratch'? Nah. Bit too in the limelight for me. Mailpony position vacant? Not really my style. Archiver for the town hall? Maybe. I'll probably have to hang around Ivory all day, but to be honest, it is the most appealing option so far. I'll consider it.

Twilight clears her throat, and I look up to meet her eyes. "Found anything yet?" she asks quietly.

I shrug. "Maybe. I might go with the archiver position at the hall, but I'm still not too sure."

Twilight scoots around the table. "Maybe you could work for me?" she says quietly, not quite meeting my eyes. "You don't have to of course," she blurts out. "I wouldn't want you to feel as if you have to or anything." She stares at the pillow beneath her and starts twiddling her hooves. "I would pay you of course," she says, beginning to regain her confidence. "Celestia knows I have too much money to know what to do with…" she mutters.

She turned back to me, a little antsy. "It would just be helping out here and there, nothing too major." She smiles. "And maybe you could even help me out on a few research projects!" she says gleefully, quietly clapping her hooves.

I mill it over in my head, taking another sip from my coffee. I weigh the pros and cons, but ultimately in the end I come to a decision.

"Ms. Sparkle," I say, sticking out my hoof. "I believe we have a deal."

She shakes my hoof with a squee. "Oh, it'll be so great to have a study-buddy!" I give a little chuckle, though I can't help ask myself what the heck I just got myself into. Hopefully I won't regret this.

Ch 4: Party of one

I stepped up to Sugurecube corner, invite in hoof. The sun had long since gone down, leaving the town in a state of calm, cool darkness. That is, until you reached this little bakery. The place was swimming with activity, a beacon of light compared to the very few lit windows lining the streets. From the sheer quiet from the rest of the town compared to Sugarcube corner, it was safe to assume that at least half the town was in attendance. And it was still early in the night!

"Come on!" Twilight chided back to me as she flitted past me and through the open door. I stood stock still in front of the looming building, honestly a little nervous. I was about to walk right into a situation most changelings tried their hardest to avoid at all costs. Being the center of attention. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward, slowly stepping toward the candy coloured building, the sound of laughing and happy conversation slicing through me like a warm knife through butter.

But I stop. You know, maybe this isn't a good idea, maybe I should go back. Yeah, let's do that, let's go.

"Black?" Twilight askes, popping her head out from inside. "Is everything okay?" Wasting no time closing the distance between us and stopping in front of me on the dirt road. Crap, okay Peek, just go with old reliable.

I shuffled uncomfortably, not feeling right in my own shell. "It's nothing Twilight, just a little nervous is all." I gave my best meek smile. "Just want to make a good impression." Twilight smiled reassuringly and placed a hoof on my withers. Bingo. She bought it.

"Take all the time you need." she said, squeezing my shoulder. "Just remember, nopony's going to judge you if you just be yourself. Everypony here is really accepting." Yeah. Right. Just be myself. Nopony will judge me. Something tells me that couldn't be further from the truth.

Remind me, Princess, what does your kind think of changelings? What's that you say? They're lovely? So nice? Look at the pretty colours? No. Not those disgusting traitors, I meant the other kind. Deep black chitin exoskeleton, sickly green fire, fangs? Yeah. Exactly. You despise them. You hate them with a passion stronger than mere animosity.

I look Twilight in the eyes and sigh. "Yeah. Okay." I nod slowly. "Thanks Twi." I say, turning my gaze back to the ground beneath my hooves.

Twilight chuckles and starts back toward the open door of Sugarcube corner. "Just come in when you're ready." she says as she disappears through the open door.

Watching her until she disappears from sight, I steel myself. This is a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. But would you look at that, I'm already moving. One hoof in front of the other, Peek. One hoof in front of the other. Chuckling, I continue my journey forward, stepping through the threshold and into the colourful little bakery.

The room goes silent for a moment, all eyes on me, and I freeze. Uh… so… what now?

I glance around the room, seeing what has to be three or four dozen ponies, all staring at me. I quickly check to see if my disguise has faltered, but it's solid as ever. I'm stuck in place for a few seconds, standing just inside the doorway. Not knowing what the heck I'm supposed to do. I give a meek little wave. The least I could do, right? The crowd of multi-coloured fluffballs give a little cheer, most going back to enjoying the party.

Some do come over to me though, and I spend the next ten minutes or so taking questions and shaking hooves with ponies that I won't remember the name of come morning. It's… interesting to say the least.

I end up getting a lot of sympathy for my horn from quite a few ponies, most unicorns hissing and rubbing their own horns when Twilight tells them how it had happened. The most notable of which was a nurse named Redheart who hands me a prescription for some random overload induced migraine pills right there on the spot. I just kinda leave it to sit in the bottom of my saddlebags for the rest of the night.

Of course there were the overly enthusiastic 'you're my best friend now' ponies, mostly consisting of a mint green unicorn mare that I can't for the life of me remember the name of, and, of course, Pinkie Pie. The one that had set up this whole shindig, and the one that, just hours before, had been hanging from a tree, inches in front of my muzzle, and booping me on the snout. After I had given up trying to make sense of her reality breaking antics, we ended up having quite the nice conversation about whatever came to mind in between her shoving her face with scones, cupcakes and whatever she found on the snack table.

Swallowing a few jelly snakes, Pinkie seemingly decided to hit me with a few quickfire questions.

"Favourite colour!" She said intensely.

"Orange." Don't see too much orange in the changeling badlands.

"Birthday!" She almost yelled, bouncing where she stood.

"4th of September." Actually true.

"Opinion on alligators!"

Okay then? "They're… cool I guess?" Not sure why she'd ask that, but…

"Favourite colour!"

"Huh? I already…"

"Socks, yes or no!!!" Yelled the giddy mare.

"No." Definitely a no.

"Opinion on heart shaped balloons! Second favourite board game!! Do you like hats!!! What is the definition of spork!!!! WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOUR!!!!!"

"PINKIE!" I yelled at the spastic pink mare, placing my hooves on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. "CALM. THE HECK. DOWN."

She stops quickly, and I look around to see if we've drawn too much attention. Surprisingly though, not a single head is turned. It's like this sort of thing is normal around here. Bunch of weirdos.

"Sorry." Pinkie apologises, a tad quieter than before. "I got a bit carried away again, didn't I?"

I nod. "Little bit, yeah."

She chuckles lightly. "Maybe we could just get back to our conversation?" Pinkie asks somewhat timidly for her style. "It's been nice talking to you…"

I nod slowly, and I swear, she squees so loud you could probably hear it from across the street.

Grabbing yet another snack, evidently back to her old bubbly self, she turns to me.

"Sho, ha abaht tiz," she says through a mouthful of chocolate chip muffin. "Wheh ah oo fom?"

Okay, going to pretend that she's not spiting crumbs in my mane for a second and assume that she's asking where I'm from. "Canterlot." I say for what has to be the twentieth time. I swear, it's like the one question on everypony's list! Why can't I just tell one pony and have them tell everyling else? You really don't have to come to me every time. I mean, I am lying to literally everypony here, but what's new? But I can't exactly tell them that I'm from the changeling badlands, can I?

Pinkie swallows, thank Chrysalis, before pointing over to a certain purple alicorn, currently chatting with Rarity. "Have you met Twilight? She's from Canterlot too!" She chirps.

I nod, looking over to the princess. Of course she's from Canterlot, the population is like, eighty percent unicorn. It's actually why I chose it as my cover story. "Yeah. I'm staying with her for a while." I say, getting my train of thought back on track. Pinkie gasps so loud that I think that her jaw might just fall off of her face. Honestly Pinkie, stop it with the physical comedy, you're going to break something!

"How did that happen!?" she asks giddily, bouncing up and down lightly on her hooves.

"Well," I start. "you know the crash I was in? The one that…" I chuckle awkwardly, tapping my horn stump a couple times. She nods, her smile slightly diminished into what could only be a curious frown. "Yeah, she…" I cough. "She kinda pulled me out of that." I say quickly, my eyes sinking to the floor.

Pinkie takes a moment to process that. She smiles. "Well, all that matters is that you're okay now!" Pinkie says happily, putting a hoof around my shoulders. I swear, this filly is a sugar coated bundle of pure happiness. And it's annoying as Tartarus. Not the 'I want to punch her in the face' kind of annoying, Chrysalis no, she's too innocent. It's just a bit draining to be around her for extended periods of time. Getting massive amounts of love from her though. Ugh, don't think I've been this full in ages.

I chuckled lightly. "Thanks for all this, Pinkie."

"No prob, Bob!" She giggled and stuck her tongue out.

"It's… Black Light, but okay."

I gave a little wave before trotting off. Pinkie waves back, her hoof moving so fast that it's basically just a candy coloured blur. Heh. Weird. Given time, I'll probably get used to it. Emphasis on time.

I slink off into the crowd, weaving between the various groups of multi-coloured pom-poms that are the citizens of this town, before somehow almost tripping over some random light blue pegasus with the wildest mane I'd ever seen, passed out on the floor next to a booth, where an orange earth pony is asleep, mug of… something alcoholic in hoof. Next to them, a purple mare with a flowing red mane chuckles. "Lightweights." she chuckles and proceeds to immediately chug the rest of whatever was in her mug before resting her head on a hoof. Glancing over to me, she nods. I awkwardly nod back before stepping over the light blue pegasus, who gives a little groan and covers her head with her wings.

Clenching my jaw, I step into the crowd, the music seeming to grow louder around me, everyling's conversations blurring together into one massive noise that penetrates my head and screams into my brain. I suddenly become aware of every single pony in the small room, from the counter to the door, filling every spec of space. I step around different conglomerations and conversations, very sound amplified and echoing off the walls.

The room begins to heat up and the sound becomes almost too much. I shake my head and rub my eyes, not quite feeling like myself. I feel… uneasy, if uneasy was shoved right up to 100. I shuffle uncomfortably and my mouth goes dry. I begin to slowly back away from the crowd, my knees weak and my throat tightening. I don't feel right. None of this does. I… I… I…

A blue mare, Mrs. Cake I think her name is, steps in front of me, balancing a tray of cookies on her back. "Is everything okay, Black?" she asks genuinely. She's worried for me. I make to respond, but t feels as if I can't breathe. My chest is tight and I don't think my lungs are working anymore. I blink and cough, summoning what little resolve I have. Mrs. Cake is still staring right at me expectantly, her brows furrowing.

I nod and summon a smile. "Yeah Mrs. Cake." I fumble with my hooves for a second. "Just… stepping out for a moment, is all." She nods and gives a smile.

"Just tell me if you need anything, okay?" she says before walking off towards the snack table, not waiting for an answer. I take my chance to make my way through the kitchen and out the back door. As soon as my shell hits the open air, I instantly relax. I walk forward a few paces, letting the cool night air calm me. I inhale and my chest opens up again, my lungs finally deciding to work again. I can still see and hear the party going on behind me, but right now, it feels like it's a million miles away. Right now, it's just me and the relative quiet of the night.

I chance a look behind me, and after I assure that noling is watching, I finally let myself shift back into who I really am. As I feel my changeling fire wash over me, it brings all of Black Light with it, before all that stands in the soft yellow light radiating from the bakery is me. Peek the changeling infiltrator. Nothing more, nothing less. Gone is the soft coat and purple mane, replaced with a deep black chitin exoskeleton and transparent insectoid wings.

For the first time in the last couple of days, I take a deep breath as myself, forgetting all of the things that I had to put myself through lately, and smile.

I take a step forward, disappearing behind a tree, away from the prying eyes of the Ponyvillian townsfolk, and up into the branches, finally using my wings again. Resting on a rather sturdy limb of the tree, I look up into the night sky, and at the barely visible stars. I think of the hive, now nearing the final stages of construction after our old one had to be abandoned. I sigh and think of our queen, our home, and of all of my brothers and sisters. Well, the ones I still have anyway.

I sit there for what must have been a good ten minutes before I hear something below me. I turn and crawl through the branches until I'm facing the bakery again, peering down to the ground. There, I see a small yellow pegasus mare with a long pink mane step out of Sugarcube Corner the same way I did, and with a cute little sigh, step forward before sitting down at the base of the tree and begin carefully preening. Fluttershy, I think her name is, if I studied my files well enough. Pretty sure she's one of Twilight's friends, right?

So, making sure not to make a sound, I slowly climb out of the branches and quietly flitter down to the ground. I focus again and shift back into Black Light again and quickly skitter further away from the tree and from Fluttershy. Okay Peek, gotta make this look convincing. Initiate operation 'subtly attract attention'. Okay, yeah, on second thought, not the catchiest title ever. Eh. Problems for future me.

I kick my now recloaked hoof in the dirt, kicking up a small cloud of dirt and dust, beginning to mutter quietly, not really saying anything. Really, the key is in the muttering, have to get that perfect. It's essential. Okay, back on track, Peek, focus! Focus! Mutter a little louder, give a sigh here, wander a few feet in this direction, give another sigh, back over there… Okay! She's taken notice! Play it cool! Play it cool!

I catch Fluttershy peeking around from the side of the tree. "Oh, um… I'm sorry, I didn't know anypony was out here. Would you like me to…" she stammers, almost hiding behind her long pink mane.

I shake my head, eyes feigning shock. "No! No! I don't mind, really! Feel free!" She squeaks an acknowledgement before sitting back down where she was, but I can tell I've ruined the scene. She can't really go back to what she was doing now that she knows somepony else is watching. I can just taste the awkwardness in the air. It's… bland, to put it nicely. It almost seems cruel to just leave her to sit there, so I head over and sit close to her. Not too close, I mean, she got the name for a reason, but close enough.

She continues to stare at her hooves beneath her, but chances a glance at me every now and then. Her tail begins to swish back and forth, easily telling me that she's uncomfortable. Guess I'll have to be the one to start this thing off then, huh?

I cough. "It's… Butterfly, right?" I say questioningly. Of course it's not Butterfly, just part of the act.

She looks up at me, brushing her mane out of her face. "It's, uh… Oh…" She quickly glances away, quiet for a few seconds. "I… I'm Fluttershy…" she whispers, quickly turning away and hiding behind her mane again. Aw, she's scared! I think I'm actually feeling a little sorry for this little featherbrain!

"Black Light." I nod towards her, hoping to coax out a little more confidence from the mare.

Fluttershy gives the smallest of smiles and brushes her mane out of her face again. "I know…" she quietly says, her wings ruffling. I chuckle quietly. None of us say anything, letting silence reign evermore. I search the innermost corners of my mind for conversation topics that aren't politics. Usually works on nobles and delegates, but right now, I really don't think it's the right time.

"Did it hurt?" I hear from beside me.

Caught off-guard, I stammer a little. "Huh? I, uh…" I cough. "…Yeah." Without even realizing it, I catch myself rubbing the base of my horn again. I swat my hoof away, staring at the ground beneath me yet again. Well, at least that pebble's kinda pretty.

Fluttershy holds her tail in her hooves. "I couldn't imagine living without my wings." she says, meeting my eyes before turning away. "It must be hard for you without magic."

I nod again. "A little. Though I really didn't use it much in the first place so…" I trail off. All is quiet for a bit before Fluttershy cautiously puts a hoof on my shoulder. I look over to her and smile, really feeling the care that she has for me even without knowing me. It's… curious, to say the least. Everyone here cares for one another, even when they have no real reason to. I just don't get it! It's just… I don't… I don't understand…

I take a deep breath and let my silence speak for itself. Fluttershy removes her hoof and our own personal awkward silence continues.

…

Okay, that's it, I'm saying something.

"So why are you out here?" I ask quietly, just above Fluttershy's normal volume.

She scrunches up her muzzle and shuffles beneath herself. "I don't really like crowds…" she says. "Or noise… Or lots of other ponies, really…" she brushes her mane out of her face again. Seriously girl, get a hairpin!

I nod lightly. "Got a bit uncomfortable? Felt like you were about to panic? Chest closed up and you couldn't breathe?"

Fluttershy's eyes go wide. "Yeah! How did you know?"

I smile and start rolling a pebble around with my hoof. "Same here." I glance back up at the party. "Crowds just aren't my thing… I mean, I can handle it for a while, but after that…"

Fluttershy smiles at me and gets up. She meets my eyes and helps me up to my hooves. "How about now? Do you think you're ready to go back inside?" she asks sweetly.

I smile and nod, feeling the genuine affection filling the air around us. "Why not." I say as we walk towards Sugarcube Corner side by side as friends.

And with that, we step over the threshold into a world of noise and lights. Sure, it may not have been our favourite place to be, but really, having someone else there who knows what you're going through helps a lot. And if I had to have anyone there by my side, I'd rather no-one more than this amazing little pink maned pegasus.

Ch 5: Twilight time

"Before we begin, I will have to inform you that this job is not for the faint of heart."

"Twilight."

"You will face many dangers unbeknownst to ponykind."

"Twilight."

"Dog-eared pages, bent spines, late returns!"

"Twilight please stop."

"You will know hardships of which you have never felt before!"

"TWILIGHT!"

Twilight finally stops her pacing and turns to me. "Yes, Black Light?" She's been doing this for a while now; marching back and forth in front of me, occasionally spouting dialogue not unlike my commanding officer back at the hive.

I roll my eyes. "Twilight, I'm volunteering to be your library assistant, not join the royal guard. Just try to tone down the drill sergeant, okay? You're freaking me out." And all I wanted to do was sit here in the library on my beanbag, and read this entomology book, but no, the universe just had to interrupt my perfectly quiet morning.

Twilight sighs and moves to sit down next to me on another one of the beanbags scattered throughout the library. "Sorry Black Light, I'm just excited to finally have a second in command, and I don't think ponies realise how difficult running a library is!"

"What about Spike?" I ask, closing my book. Eh, Twilight kinda pulled me out of it anyway.

Twilight shifts her gaze down the hall and into the kitchen, barely visible, where I can see Spike fixing himself some breakfast. Pancakes again. Seriously, what is this family's deal with pancakes? Twilight gives an almost motherly smile. "He's great, and I love him, but sometimes I worry." She turns back to me. "He overworks himself, and he tells me that he doesn't mind, but he's still a kid. He needs to go out and spend time with his friends, not cooped up in here sorting books all day."

Okay, wow. When I first read the files on Spike, I thought that he was just some sort of glorified drone for Twilight, the way Chrysalis has hers. But even now, I can taste the love she has for him, and it's strong. It goes way beyond a mutual benefit, and I can sense that she really does care for him as if they were biological family. Huh. When I get back to the hive, I'm definitely going to have to make some additions to the files.

"You guys want any pancakes?" Spike yells down the hall.

"Two please!" Twilight shouts back.

"I'm good!" I yell, settling back into my beanbag.

Twilight smiles and raises an eyebrow. "Not hungry?"

I shake my head. "Nah. Already had breakfast when got up. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I raided your fridge. Don't worry though, you won't even know I was there." Lies, of course. Just gonna say it again, changelings can't eat solid food.

Twilight smiles again and moves to stand up. "Alright, but if you change your mind…" she trails off, stepping towards the door. Glancing back, she gives me a little wave that I can't help but return. You know, this might sound a bit weird, but I really think that our kind was wrong about ponies. I mean, there will always be the occasional douchebag, every species has those, but really, I think that we've misjudged these people.

Just look at me, just over a day spent with these squishy fursacks and I've gone all soft. I can only imagine what will happen after I've spent a week or two with them.

Yup. Mhmm. I like ponies. Ponies are good.

You know, this is nice. Just zone out for a while and sort a few books. Gives me time to think, and after the insanity of yesterday, I think I really need this sort of thing, especially with my entire idea of ponies shoved headlong down the drain. I actually feel a bit guilty, putting this entire society into a box like I did. I really should have known that not all of these creatures were selfish, self-centered bigots.

It didn't take long to memorise the Dewey decimal system, it's mostly just numbers and codes, and I like that sort of thing. Of course, without my magic, it is quite a bit harder, what with the twenty-foot tall shelves and all, but at least Twilight had the decency to put a bunch of ladders everywhere. You know the ones, the ones on wheels that you can ride along the shelves. And yes, they are as fun as they look. Kind of makes me miss my wings though. My horn might not work, but my wings are perfectly okay. Gonna have to admit, I've been tempted to shift back and flitter up to get up to some of the higher shelves, but at this point, I think it would be smarter not to.

I have seen quite a few citizens of this candy-colored fantasy town wander in here, and, much to my disdain, they always seem to have some time to take out of their day to come over and have a chat. How considerate of them… Then after introducing myself and shooing them off to wherever they want to get to, I can finally get back to my work.

Kind of gets you thinking about these creatures, and how they would react if they knew the real me. Would they run? Hide? Scream as loud as they could? With our reputation, I wouldn't blame them for grabbing anything they could get their hooves on and hunting me down like I was some kind of monster.

…

Am I a monster?

Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this. Black chitin exoskeleton, jagged hooves, fangs… It's not me. This is me. Black light the unicorn. When I'm him, I can just let loose. I can be myself more than I ever could around my own kind. I can be me.

I can be happy.

But if I'm not careful, all of this could come crumbling down around me. All the friends I've made and have yet to make could turn on me in a heartbeat, and honestly… well, the thought terrifies me. They would chase me out of town just like they would any of my kind, leaving me to head over to the next town to try again with a new face… And with so many faces, I think I might have lost myself along the way…

Maybe I am a monster, something that would be better left forgotten, just a bad dream, the monster under the bed. An insect, incomplete and born in flame, built only to deceive; a parasite that feeds off the life essence of the people that cares for them and then leaves them to die.

…

Note to self, tone down the melodrama.

Seriously, where did all that come from? All I'm doing here is sorting some books for Chrysalis' sake! Eh, I've only got a few more to go here anyway. Volume twenty-seven of the Complete Encyclopedia of Equestria? That would go in the reference section, a Daring Do fanfiction by somepony called Rainbow Dash, that would go in the trash with the rest, seriously, fanfic writers are losers, and finally, The Rise and Fall of the Two Sisters, slip that into the history section.

There! Feels nice to be done. Four hundred and ninety-two books sorted, and all in just over an hour! I'd say that that's a pretty good time, considering the whole lack of magic on my part. I'm willing to bet I could cut that time in half when my horn has healed. I bet I could do it in fifteen minutes! Yeah! I bet I could-

"Hello?"

Holy hell!

Ugh! Why do these hideous fleshbags keep sneaking up on me!? I swear, it's like they enjoy seeing me jump out of my shell! Okay Peek, calm down, regain your composure, and stop gritting your teeth. Seriously. It's starting to hurt. Might need to go see a dentist. Okay, we're good.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Could have fooled me. I shake my head, giving the least annoyed chuckle I can manage. "No, don't worry about it. It's my fault. I just zoned out for a minute is all." Not my fault. Standing before me is a purple unicorn mare, not unlike Twilight. Heck, she could probably pass as Twilight if not for the blue streaks in her mane. "What can I help you with?"

"Oh, I'm not a patron." she waves a hoof at me. "I live here. My name is Starlight Glimmer." She gives a bit of a smile, but I can feel the nervousness surrounding her. I mean, I don't think I'm that scary in this form, heck, I tried to make myself a bit approachable, as much as I loathe the idea of it. Each new relationship is a leg up to toppling Twilight, after all. I might not hate the mare, but I do still have a mission to complete. Plus, these talking marshmallows are basically giant balls of love. Noling's going hungry tonight.

I nod, giving a smile of my own. "I'm Black Light, Twilight's new assistant."

"Y-you're Twilight's new assistant?" Starlight stammers, nervousness quickly growing. "She didn't tell me about wanting a new assistant…"

I shrug, trying to subtly calm her down. "It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. I moved here, needed a job, and Twilight was nice enough to offer me one in the library!"

She nods, nervousness building. Seriously, what happened to this mare? "Well, I... um..." she casts her eyes downwards. "Bye then..."

Huh. Weird mare.

I guess I could pry a bit, you know, get a couple details and maybe try to help her? I mean, it wouldn't be hard. Changelings are pretty much masters if emotion, feeding off it and all. It would probably be more effective than any therapy any pony could provide for her. She would become a better source of love, after all. It's not like I would enjoy helping Starlight or anything, just looking out for myself.

Anyway, back to my job. Twilight doesn't pay me to stand around doing nothing! ...Heh. I'm working for a pony. To think that I, a proud changeling, would work under one of those ridiculous puff balls. And even though it's Twi, and she's not all that bad, the thought of working under someone like her, well, if it were anyone but her, it would probably be a bit humiliating.

Wait... If it were anyone but Twilight? What makes her of all ponies different? Sure she's a princess and all, but if anything, that would make it more humiliating to work under her... And I'm working under her. We're not equals, she's my boss! And yet I feel nothing against her! Why don't I hate her? I have every right to, I mean, I...

Oh.

Great.

I feel like facehoofing so hard I crack my chitin. I'm bonding. With the Princess... Oh Chrysalis, what is wrong with me? Raised to hate them more than anything, but when one shows you the tiniest scrap of kindness, you become some sort of love-bug. Ugh. I'm no better than those stupid rainbow deserter changelings...

But is that really any bad? I mean, I didn't think it was possible, but I... Just say it Peek, no matter how vile it sounds... I like Twilight, and Fluttershy, and... Well, not so much Pinkie, she kinda freaks me out... But Rarity, even if she is a bit of a snob, she's nice enough... And Starlight, I hardly know her, but I still want to help her...

Maybe I'm just confused... I think I'll take some time out to think about this, my shift is almost over, after all, and the library is set to close in a couple minutes. Yeah. Just give it time, Peek, and it will all sort itself out.

I just need a little time...

Okay, I think I've come to a decision. I've sat here behind a locked door in Twi's guest room for what must have been over an hour now, shifting back and forth between Black Light and my natural form, not really knowing which one I really want to be. On one hoof, I could have friends, a job, an amazing little town to live in, and my own little life where I can finally be happy, where I matter as more than just a part in an ever-moving machine. But on the other hoof, I could have my family, a place where I can fit in, a place where my brothers and sisters won't judge me for being me... for being Peek. Where I won't get chased out of town, drowning in death threats as the people I once loved turn on me in an instant...

They choice seems simple, why take the chance? Why risk death just to remain around beings that would kill me on sight if I just showed who I truly am? Just get in, destabilise Twilight's friendships, ruin her life, and get out without her ever knowing that I was the one responsible...

But I don't want to do that... I don't want Twilight to be in pain because of me, and I don't want to ruin anyling's life! In the short time I've been here, I've found beings that care about me... or, they care about Black Light at least... But where do I stop being Peek and start being Black Light?

For now at least, I think I'll stay as Black Light the unicorn. Right now, I couldn't really care less about what Chrysalis would say. Sorry mother, but I've made my choice, for now at least.

Ugh. It's gotten dark. I should get to bed. Maybe I should check on Twilight first though. Just to make sure she's not still studying. The mare needs a break every once in a while. And yes, she's my friend. I'm not going to let my species determine who I can be. If I want to be a friendly unicorn that works in the library, then I will be a friendly unicorn that works in the library.

So, shifting back into my disguise, I unlock the door, walking quietly down the dimly lit halls of Twilight's castle, small crystals in the wall illuminating the walls in a dim violet light. It's funny how much I've come to see this castle as my home, even if I'm only living here until I find my own place. Walking down these crystal halls, passing by the main balcony, leading out into Luna's brilliant violet night, it just feels right. Heh. A changeling using Luna and brilliant in the same sentence... who would have thought it?

Eventually, I come across Twilight's bedroom and, cracking open the door, I can see Twilight passed out at her desk, head resting on an open book, candle burning low. I sigh and give a quiet chuckle, moving over to Twilight's side. She looks peaceful. Not very comfortable, but peaceful all the same. So, blowing out the candle, I carefully lift up the sleeping Twilight and move her over to her bed. Sure, it's not easy, carrying a full grown mare on your back, but I don't mind. Though, magic would certainly make this substantially easier.

Gingerly placing Twilight's form on her bed, I pull the sheets up to her chin and watch her unconsciously snuggle up to the covers. Shifting back into my natural form, I look down on her with my blue, insectoid eyes. You know, for a walking marshmallow, she's actually quite pretty.

"Good night Twilight." I say quietly, taking a bookmark from her desk, placing it in her book, and moving it to her bedside table. "My friend." I sigh with a small smile as I make my way slowly out of the room. Making my way out the door, I close it softly, a small click ringing through the air. It seems I just can't get rid of this smile. What are these ponies doing to me? This is the best I've felt in what has to be years, simply at peace with myself, nothing to worry about. No mission, no Chrysalis, nothing. Just me, Twi, and this little town that I've found myself at home in.

Turning to head back to my room, I freeze, eyes wide. My gentle smile disappears faster than you would believe, and my throat chokes up. In front of me is Spike, eyes wide and mouth moving, as if to say something but not being able to find the words. I look down at myself and see my natural form. Jet black chitin, fangs, the lot.

And Spike is staring straight at me.

Buck.

Ch 6: Reflex action

Reflex is a wonderful little thing, isn't it? As soon as any sort of issue arises, your body has already taken action before your mind even knew what was happening. It's a wonderful little bit of fight-or-flight instincts that can take you out of basically any danger just long enough to get your head around things. One thing though, is that reflex lacks a certain kind of foresight, and sometimes, that lack of foresight can get you into even more trouble than you were in the first place.

This is one of those times.

Before I knew what was happening, I found myself shifting, my form going up in the same sickly green flames I knew all too well and found myself as an exact copy of Spike, before planting one claw over his muzzle, another firmly on his chest, and slamming him hard into the wall.

Now that I'm back in control, I can see what a bad move this was. I mean, if I had just remained calm, I could have just talked to Spike, explained that I meant no harm, and be done with it. I would have someling to be myself around, instead of yet another cowering enemy.

I guess I'm lucky I calmed down when I did. When backed into a corner, changelings are trained to kill. I'm no exception. Sure, I'm no soldier or warrior, but I can still hold my own in a fight. Anyling that steps hoof outside the hive has to be able to at least incapacitate a foe long enough for them to get away, and with us infiltrators, our entire deal is getting rid of the original and taking their place. Curious that this mission is different…

I can feel Spike squirm beneath my grasp, eyes wide. I may be an exact copy of him, but I'm still quite a bit stronger than he is. Looking into his eyes, I can see an all too familiar sight: pure, unadulterated terror. Every single other time I've seen that emotion on someone else, it's always been easy to ignore. I was trained to be completely uncompassionate and merciless, and after seeing that kind of primal fear so many times, you tend to get a bit desensitised. But this time, something's different. I can't put a hoof on it, but this time, I think I actually care.

I see Spike glance up at my still-broken horn. The limiter has been passively healing it, but I still have a long way to go before I can comfortably use magic again. The biggest thing though, is that Spike recognises me. Black Light, the unicorn with the broken horn.

I realise I've been scowling, my newfound claws digging painfully into Spike's scales. I soften my expression and loosen my grip, surprised at my actions. I sigh, a voice not my own filling with an unexplainable sadness. "Please…" I appeal. "I'm sorry, just let me explain before you…" I can't bring myself to finish. Spike stares me straight in the eyes, staring right at his own twisted, demented reflection. Despite this, he nods. Or at least, he tries to. It's kinda hard with his head held firmly against the wall. Okay Peek, time to make the biggest mistake of your entire career. Sure, he might be lying, about to run into Twilight's bedroom and have her zap me right into Tartarus, but what other choice do I have here? At least I know Spike at least has a history with this thing, however annoying and technicolour it might be.

"Okay…" I breathe slowly. "I gonna let you go…" Slowly, I take pressure off of my doppelganger, letting him finally standing before me as I step back.

Spike massages his throat, softly coughing into a claw. Seems I held him down a little hard… "You're…" he starts, voice still filled with a certain caution. He's trying to hide his fear. Cute. It might be hidden, but it's still radiating off of him stronger than ever. He knows that one wrong move could cost him his life, and he's terrified. I wish he wasn't scared of me, but he has every right to be. My kind's done terrible things, and so have I. But that was the past.

I nod, casting my eyes downward. "A changeling." I finish for him.

"Why are you here?" he asks, his voice wavering. Guess I still do owe him an explanation.

I sigh. I'm about to reveal everything to Twilight's little squish pet. This could go so many different directions. Let's hope that I have enough dumb luck to talk my way out of this… "My name is Peek, and I'm a changeling infiltrator." I shift back to my natural form and sit down, my ears splaying back. "I was tasked by Queen Chrysalis to drive Twilight and her friends apart by infiltrating her friendship group disguised as a regular pony…"

Spike nods slowly, still hesitant to say anything. I pause, a sort of uneasy tension still hanging loosely over us. At this point, I'm just waiting for the moment. All changelings know the moment. The moment when you're found out, pried out of hiding and forced to face the things you've done, the people you've deceived, and, if the situation demanded it, the ponies you've killed. Even if you had never done any of those things, there's one crime every single changeling is guilty of. It's something that is impossible to escape and a crime unforgivable by everypony in Equestria; Being. Simply being a changeling is one of the most heinous crimes possible to commit, and, unfortunately, justice must eventually be served.

The pause is getting longer and longer as the silence drags on, Spike still staring right into me, and I myself staring at the cold crystal floor beneath my jagged hooves.

"I don't want to do it…" I hear myself say. I sound… distant. My throat is hoarse and I feel a knot welling in my chest. "I don't…" I cough and look Spike back in the eyes. "I don't want to hurt her, I never wanted to-" I stop, feeling a tear roll down my cheek. The knot in my chest is almost painful now, and I feel as if I'm on the verge of breaking down in the middle of the hall. I clench my teeth and shut my eyes tight as I feel even more tears silently roll down my face, lingering on my jaw for a second, before falling unceremoniously to the cold, hard ground beneath me.

All I can do is hang my head, shoulders slumped as I silently sob into nothingness, uncaring to the world around me. I'm not sure how long I sit there, but soon enough I feel a claw on my shoulder. My eyes snap open and I almost reflexively move to push Spike away, but I find myself frozen in place, paralysed save for a constant trembling that I had no idea was happening. It's now that I realise, under the light of Luna's glowing moon, that I am utterly terrified. I don't know why and I don't know how, but right at this moment, I'm more terrified than I have ever been.

Spike starts stroking my foreleg in a futile attempt to calm me down. He's not scared of me anymore at least; why would he be? I'm pathetic. No, he's not scared. The emotion that has taken its place is much more humiliating: pity. Spike pities me. He pities the puny changeling sobbing quietly in the halls of this prissy pony castle.

I… I guess I can't blame him. At least I know he feels sorry for me, as much as I detest the simple notion.

"Hey," Spike whispers quietly. I bring my head up slowly to meet his eyes, the knot in my throat ever-present and growing quickly. "I won't tell anyone."

I wipe my eyes on the back of a hoof, my teeth still clenched tight. "Promise?" I manage to choke out, my voice failing me.

Spike nods, giving a little smile. I keel over and just let everything go, not really caring much about… well, anything really. I dunno, it just feels good to just be here, the moon lightly beaming down upon me, letting all of my stress flow out of me. And sure, that sounds cheesy as all heck, but at this point, I don't care. I'm too far gone to care.

I can still feel Spike stroking my forehoof lightly as a continue to cry, and I'm thankful. I guess I can understand why Twi keeps this little guy around. And now, I have a person that I can drop my guard around, just being me, not having to hide any part of myself. Sure, I can drop my guard at the hive, but there, I didn't matter. Sure I matter here in Ponyville, but I can never really drop my guard. Having someone who knows both sides of me is going to be a big help in this, and I'm thankful.

I don't know how long I sat there, Spike by my side, but before long, I had cried myself dry, staring at my reflection in the cool crystal floors of this magnificent palace. Not once did Spike leave my side. I wouldn't have blamed him if he had left, but he stayed. To think, a couple of days ago, I was a highly trained changeling infiltrator, prepared to kill on sight if necessary. Heh. How the mighty have fallen, am I right?

I dunno where this is going to lead, but none of that really matters to me at the moment. All that matters is that I'm home.

"Thank you…"

Ch 7: Tensions

The events of last night just keep playing over and over in my head, distant yet clear as ever. I'm not sure what to do... I woke up early in the morning, hours and hours before anyling else. I don't even remember getting myself back to bed, but I had the forethought to shift back into my disguise. It didn't really feel right to just lay there and try to get back to sleep, so I headed down into the library and started sorting out the returns. I'm probably overreacting, I know that, and it's probably going to be completely fine, but I just can't shake the feeling that something is about to come up. Heck, I'd be surprised if nothing happened at all. I've basically been the living embodiment of Murphy's law lately anyway.

So I've just been trudging around the library, aided by lamplight, doing an odd job or two. I'm honestly surprised at how fast I can get these things done when I'm trying to take my mind off of something. So far I've sorted the returns, dusted the entire reference section, tidied the reading areas and fixed a wobbly table. There's really nothing much to do here. I did most of the big jobs yesterday anyway. I slump into a beanbag chair, unable to really feel proud of a job well done. It just feels... empty. Like it's not real. I wasn't doing the jobs for the end result, I was doing them for what they let me get away from.

I feel... stuck. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and I hate myself for it... I'm supposed to be this unbreakable changeling warrior, free from compassion and emotion, yet I break down in tears as soon as I'm found out. But it's not like I haven't been found out before, I mean, I've been chased out of both Vanhoover and Manehatten before, dodging magic bolts and kamikaze pegasi. So why did I have that kind of reaction this time? It just doesn't make sense! If I was able to put those behind me, why not this one?

And here I am acting like I don't know... I know exactly why I don't just jump ship and come back in a month with a new coat of paint. It's because these ponies are the only ones that have ever really shown any sort of real consideration. Sure, they're not really doing it for me, just this stupid persona I've chosen for myself, but still... The ponies I had dealt with before were cold, jealous, letting their power and nobility get into their heads. The would never have given me the time of day if I hadn't pretended to be just like them...

To these ponies, I matter more than I ever did to those disgusting nobles. They don't want my money or influence, they just want me... Black Light...

...

I've never really felt before. I was always trained to just stare straight ahead while the ones who stood before me fell, to not give a thought to the creatures discarded after they had served their purpose. I was born into the role I play, and I never really questioned it. If anything, the fact that I was born with the specific duty to infiltrate and destabilize only reinforced the idea that what I was doing was right... but now, I'm pretty sure I've clearly established that I'm having more than a million doubts.

...These creatures, they feel more like family than family ever did... I think something that everyone tends to forget is that changeling hives, we're a colony first, an army second, and a family never. We work together to build the hive, we all strike as one against our enemies, but we're never ever a family. I may have my brothers and sisters, as well as a mother that many would probably say they would love to have, but... there's no love there. None of us really care... and l never questioned it. My siblings had their jobs, I had mine. Obey the hive and everything would turn out okay in the end…

...I hate it.

I hate my family, I hate my queen, and I hate that my natural form is... this. Jagged, gleaming chitin, forged only to protect a dark, soulless interior. I don't want this. Not anymore.

"Black Light?"

My throat catches and I quickly turn my head to see a tired looking Starlight Glimmer gently rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. The early morning sun is beginning to softly filter into the castle, gently casting dancing lights onto the wall behind her, making her bedraggled bedhead mane almost... wait, no, 'decent' would be too generous...

"Are you alright? It's just past 5 in the morning." Starlight asks, stifling a yawn.

I sigh and shake my head softly. "Just... figuring some things out I guess..." I say quietly as Starlight heads over to me.

"Do you…" she fidgets next to me as she moves to sit down on the beanbag next to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks hesitantly.

I shake my head again and stare at my hooves. "No… It's…" I try to find the words without coming across as cliché or something stupid like that. "complicated." Cliché and stupid. Great.

I hear Starlight exhale heavily next to me, and feel a wave of relief radiate from her. "Okay, yeah." she mutters, nodding slowly.

Chuckling, I turn to look at her. "Relieved?"

Starlight's eyes widen and she begins to fidget even more. "I…" she starts, before sighing. "Yeah… Am I really that easy to read?"

Oh, trust me Glim-Glam, it's not hard, even for a non-empath. I try to give my best warm smile, ignoring the fact that I have next to no idea what it Tartarus that's supposed to look like. Pretty sure I'm successful, because she's not slapping me with a foals' picture book. "You'd be surprised." I mutter quietly, looking back down at my hooves. We sit together quietly for a moment, not really doing anything in particular. I guess I just enjoy her company, despite her apparent nervousness around me. Not entirely sure what her deal with me is, and I don't have much to base it on, seeing as I don't have a file on her, but I'm sure it'll come up in conversation eventually.

"What were you doing up so early anyway?" I ask Starlight quietly, my voice loud and clear in the absolute silence of the library.

Starlight chuckles softly. "I was heading off to help Trixie prepare for her act at the festival in a few days. She's got a lot planned, and I honestly don't think I've seen her so excited before." She stares out the window, the sun having finally rose over the town. "She's adorable when she gets worked up like this."

I nod slowly. "I'm not keeping you?" I ask.

"Oh, no, don't worry about it." Starlight waves a hoof at me. "I've got plenty of time. I planned to leave early so I didn't have to worry about being late. I guess Twilight is just rubbing off on me."

"Maybe…" I say as Starlight guts up off of her beanbag and begins to move towards the door.

She pauses for a moment before she reaches it though, turning back to me. "Hey, Black Light? If you ever do decide you want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, you can always talk to me, alright?"

If only it was that simple, Glimmer. I give a smile and a nod, feeling the care Starlight feels for me radiate throughout the room. It's a funny feeling, really. I know what it feels like, a pony's care for one another, but that's never really directed at me, you know? Always the pony I was disguised as. And I guess that it's still the same as it's always been, but now it just feels different. I don't know. Almost all of the other times I've taken on the mantle of a pony, it's always been someling else. A colleague, a parent, a student, just somepony not... me. I've always had to pretend to be somepony else, but when I was given the chance to create a character of my own, I guess I just made... me...

And Starlight cares about me...

Watching Starlight head off into the main hall, I lounge back in my beanbag. Maybe I should go too, or Twi might start getting suspicious about me repeatedly skipping meals. At least then I won't have to deal with Spike and what happened last night...

Eh. I've still got a while. I can feel Twilight and Spike still sleeping up in their rooms. I think I'll just leave a note or something, Twilight'll understand. Plus, I've still got to go house hunting. Can't keep crashing here for the rest of my life. Yeah. I'll do that. But until then, I don't think a snooze would hurt, seeing as I was up since three in the morning or something ridiculous like that.

"Hey, thanks for helping me out with this, Mayor." I say as Ivory and I leisurely trot along the outskirts of Ponyville's suburbs.

"Oh, it really is no trouble." she says, waving me off with a hoof. "I'm just happy to help out our newest citizen." She seems chipper, and strangely happy to help me out… I don't get these creatures.

We've been walking around for maybe an hour now, checking out any houses that the mayor would think I'd like. I think it's safe to say though that she really has no idea what I like. "You sure this house isn't like the other two?" I ask as we head over to the last house in Ponyville.

"What was wrong with the others?"

I sigh. "Well, the first one was shaped like a gigantic boombox,"

The mayor shrugged. "Don't blame me, that used to be Vinyl's house before she moved in with her marefriend!"

"And the second one was right next to Sugarcube corner. I don't think I could deal living next door to Pinkie Pie."

She nodded. "Yeah, Pinkie can be too much for some… But never mind that! I think this next house will be just to your liking!"

Honestly, I'm still sceptical. "No gimmicks?" I ask. Don't really feel like living inside a house shaped like a giant corn cob or something. The mayor just smiles and politely shakes her head. "No crazy neighbours?" I ask again.

Ivory just giggles and shakes her head again. "At least not compared to Pinkie," she says as we round the final corner.

I smile softly. "Well alright then." I finish. Knowing this town, the house is still going to look like a grub's playset, but really, I'm fine as long as it looks relatively normal.

The mayor chuckles as we round the corner, leading me down a short dirt road that leads out into the fields surrounding Ponyville. The simple street is bordered by a couple houses, some ordinary, or as close to ordinary as you could get in this town, some fairly unique. Heck, one of the houses is shaped like a giant cardboard box with a wonky mailbox out front. Sure, it looks fairly… precarious, but like many of the other houses in this weird little fantasy town, it does look rather inviting…

"So," I say, scanning the street quickly, taking note of many of the houses lining the street. "which one would you like to show me?"

Ivory sighs, smiling at me. "Mr. Light," she says, flourishing her hoof. "welcome home." She gestures towards a house that I had hardly even noticed, if I'm being completely honest. It had cream yellow walls with a bright red roof topping its two stories. The garden out front was neat, but not extravagant, a white picket fence bordering the relatively small yard, and the single lamppost on the sidewalk somehow made it feel more… bright, I guess. It was completely unremarkable, perfectly unnoticeable, nicely homey, and really, it just looked… perfect. A little cliché, but perfect nonetheless.

I smile, my eyes lighting up as I kept my gaze locked on the little house. The mayor chuckles lightly. "I understand you like it?" she asked somewhat smugly. I smile and nod, giving her a genuine smile. Those seem to be getting more frequent lately. Ugh, this town is boring its way into my brain. "Why don't we have a look inside?" she said, beginning down the path to the front door.

I quickly match her pace as she unlocks the front door with a tiny silver key. The door swings open, revealing a small seating area with a couple pale green couches surrounding a simple and unassuming rug. An empty bookshelf rests on the back wall, next to a doorway that looks like it leads to a neat little kitchen and dining area. Okay, so far so good. No crazy gimmicks here. Wandering up the stairs, I find myself in a massive bedroom that seems to take up most of the second floor… Really, I just think that it looks like someone shoved a bed into what was supposed to be a living area.

The room is sparsely decorated, the only real items of interest being the bed and vanity, and the empty closet embedded into the wall. Overall, the entire house is sort of boring, but I really think it might be a good kind of boring. I can just imagine myself slowly collecting trinkets to shove on the shelves, books for the bookcase, and pictures for the walls, and I really think this place could really start feeling like home… My home.

Stepping past the bed, I head out onto a tiny little balcony that looks out onto the fields behind the house. It really is quite nice here… I lean out into the air and feel the wind on my coat. It's an alien feeling really, me being used to cold, hard chitin most of the time, but I really think I like this even more. Closing my eyes, I can even imagine myself soaring through the air, wind in my wings. Heh. Maybe if I'd picked a pegasus…

"I take it you enjoy this house?" Ivory asks, softly snapping me out of my little daydream. "Or would you like to give casa de boombox another look over?"

I chuckle. "Oh gods no, that was definitely too much for me…" I smile and stare back out into the fields of outer Ponyville, the mayor joining me, draping her forehooves over the railing. "I think this place is just perfect for me…"

They mayor beams. "Excellent! I look forward to seeing you as a permanent resident of our wonderful little town! Of course, we can discuss payment later. No rush after all!"

I nod slowly, enjoying the feeling of finally beginning to fit in. This isn't like back at the hive, where I was just some unseen part in a massive machine, this is real, better. Here, I matter, and I love it.

"Welcome to Ponyville, Black Light."

"Sooooo..." I murmur as I sit across the table from Spike.

"Sooooo..." he replies, easily as uneasy as I am. It's radiating from both of us, filling the castle living room just as much as the painfully awkward silence. Tastes a bit bitter if I'm going to be completely honest...

Spike is quietly nursing a glass of mineral water while I'm just forced to sit here with my hooves crossed, eyes looking anywhere but the one pony in this town that knows my secret. The fact that he happens to be a dragon is really just a footnote at this point.

I was just heading back to the castle after getting my housing situation sorted with the mayor, and I guess I just really wanted to break the news to Twilight. I dunno, I was riding high or something. But I guess life decided to throw me another curveball because I just happened to run onto a certain little someone.

Really, I would rather be just about anywhere else right now, but I guess my little dragon problem needed to be dealt with eventually, and I guess now is as good a time as any, right?

"So do I call you Peek, or-"

"Black Light is just fine, Spike." I cut him off. He nods slowly and takes another sip of his mineral water. After a moment, I sigh, running a hoof through my mane. "Listen Spike, I don't want things to be awkward between us forever. And I know what you saw isn't something you can just forget, but I just want you to give me a chance." Spike listens without a word, but struggles to meet my eye.

He's conflicted, and I really can't blame him. He's seen who I really am, and who I really am is a jagged, black monster built foe deceit. There's a reason why our kind is hated among ponyfolk, a reason why our mother is a scary nightmare night story. We're monsters, the villains of the piece. Always have been, always will be.

"Promise me one thing." Spike speaks, still not meeting my eyes. He's had a lot of time to think, mulling things over in his head. "Promise me to never hurt Twilight."

"I would never." I say resolutely, shaking my head. "She was the first pony to treat me like I mattered, and that means more to me than you could ever know. I promise, from the bottom of my heart that I will never in a million years hurt Twilight Sparkle."

Spike smiles lightly and looks up from the table, finally meeting my eyes. He seems satisfied, and the tension in the air lifts slightly.

"Alright..." Spike says. "I trust you, Black Light..." I return his smile, watching him finish off his mineral water.

"What's it like?" Spike asks quietly before I can get up to leave. "Being a changeling I mean."

Sitting back down, I chew on the inside of my cheek before answering. It's not really something I've discussed with anyling, despite the fact that it's basically always on my mind. "Ponies tend to think of us as emotionless parasites..." I say slowly, mulling over my words for a second. "Sometimes, I think they might not be entirely wrong… The hive mind is powerful, boring into your mind and telling you your place. You're not really given any freedom in the hive. You're just… there. And you're fine with it. I mean, it's all you've ever known, but… you might as well not exist."

Spike stares at me, frowning. I've long since let my gaze fall to the floor, shoulders sagging as I paw at the carpet. "What about Thorax's hive?" Spike asks. "Why not go join them?"

My eyes narrow. "Oh, do not get me started on those pretentious, lovey-dovey traitors..." I almost growl, my fangs showing for a second. Spike shrinks back for a second before relaxing as best he can. Seriously dude, I think we've established that I'm not going to kill you, abduct you, or anything of the sort. Chill.

"Sore subject?" Spike asks, and I grumble a barely audible response, resting my head back on the table. The tension in the room rises again as silence reigns for a couple more seconds, before Spike briefly chews on a claw and asks "I thought your kind of changeling was almost wiped out when Thorax took the throne. How can you exist?"

I grumble. "Keyword, almost. That stupid sparkle moose might have gotten hundreds of my brothers and sisters into his love-drunk conglomerate, but some of us decided to stay loyal to our mother." I shift a forehoof back into its natural form, staring at its jagged, jarring exterior. "But now, this stupid little town has got me questioning if I made the right choice…"

"So do you think you might stay here?" Spike asks. "With me, Twilight and the others?"

I shrug, shifting my hoof back into its disguise. "I dunno… I was sent here to do a job, but now that we've established that I'm not exactly going to do that, I'm not really sure…" I smile. "I mean, I like you guys. You guys treat me like a pony instead of a changeling, and I love you guys for it, but the hive is my family, and I can't exactly turn my back on them. And if I do, I'll no doubt have someling coming after me."

Spike screws up his snout and nods. "Why not just tell Twilight and the gang that you're a changeling? I'm sure she'll understand and try to help you out."

I sigh. "Have you seen what we've done to her? We've kidnapped her, her friends and her family multiple times, we hypnotized her brother, and we've launched attacks on her home on more than one occasion. Forgive me for saying this, but I really don't think Twilight would be willing to help someling like me…"

Spike gives me the best pity smile he can muster. "At least you still have me, right?"

As much as I don't want to, I chuckle, and reach over to ruffle his spines. "Heh, yeah. At least I still have you."

Spike proceeds to stand, taking his empty glass with him, and having nothing better to do, I join him.

"Wait, why didn't Queen Chrysalis just come here herself?"

"She can't stand Twilight. Wouldn't be able to spend more than five minutes around her without killing someone."

"Huh… Makes sense…"

Ch 1: Rocky beginnings

*CRASH!*

Ow. Yeah, note to self. Purposely crashing a cart into the Ponyville fountain hurts. Like, a lot. Oh well. Adds believability I guess.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

Bingo.

Just as planned, even though the ringing in my ears, I can still hear that prissy purple pony princess rushing to my aide. Predictable.

"Here, let me help you."

I feel the heavy wooden cart lifted off me effortlessly in her powerful Alicorn magic. Okay buddy, time to make a good impression. Remember the mission.

I try to get to my hooves, but wince and fall back onto my side. Great. I'm actually hurt. Not good not good not good.

The princess helps me up to my hooves, holding most of my weight while I tried to steady myself with my one good hoof. "Thanks." I murmur, blinking stars out of my eyes.

"Of course! Are you okay?" She asks, genuine concern apparent in her expression. Typical pony. Taking it in now, I guess she doesn't look half bad, at least by pony standards. Purple pelt, blue mane with a few purple or pink streaks, cut neatly and hanging loosely over her horn. And of course there are those stupid wings.

"Yeah, yeah I should…" I yelp as a sharp stabbing pain runs through my lower body. I fall into a kneel, my front hooves unable to support my weight, and a back leg threatening to give out as well.

"Oh my! Here, let me help." The princess lifts me up onto her back. No respect for anyling's dignity. "I should get you back to my castle, I'm sure I could find something to help you…" I give her a grateful look, masking my unending loathing for her and her species.

It is quite a short walk, but I still do get quite a few odd looks, being carted around by an Alicorn princess. For a second, I think that they must know who I really am, but I quickly shake the thought. Noling could see through a changeling's magic. Despite that knowledge, I'm still growing increasingly self-conscious by the time we both reach the grand doors of her crystal castle.

"Can you walk?" she asks worriedly as she lowers me down with the help of her magic. I nod, testing out my hooves, shifting the weight from one to another until I'm satisfied that I could walk ten feet without too much trouble.

"Thank you, Princess Sparkle. Really. I appreciate it." This was only a half lie. True, I loathed her very existence, but if it weren't for her, I would still be lying under a broken cart by the Ponyville fountain.

"It was nothing, really. And it's just Twilight. No need to be formal." She looks at me expectantly. "Would you like to come in?" I nod and step forward.

"I hope I'm not being too much trouble, Twilight." I say, stepping through the ginormous crystal doors. Egh. How did this purple trash heap get her own castle? In my opinion, she should still be living in that old decaying tree. Heh. It seems all the nights I spent researching this town have stuck. It's annoying, but all a part of going into deep cover I guess.

"Again, I assure you, it's nothing. I'm just happy to help, Mr…" She hangs on that last word and waves her hoof, asking my name. Crap. Okay Peek, remember your training. I look at myself in the reflective walls of her crystal castle. Dark grey pelt, neon purple mane and tail, spiked back of course, green eyes and a horn. I've outdone myself. Very nice.

"Black Light." I answer after a small pause. She smiles and walks over into her living area. It's clean and feels warmer and more homely than the rest of the castle. Probably due to the blazing fire and the two sofas positioned in front of it. Whereas this room feels comfy and warm, the rest of the castle just feels a little… dead. "Impressive place." I say, trying to layer a few tones of awe over my disgust.

"Thank you, though my friends did most of the work. I'm no designer." So humble. Why are these ponies like this? "Would you like some tea, Black Light?" She's so… So… Nice. It's sickening. At least it tastes alright. I guess. I don't even get a chance to decline her tea. She's already boiling the teapot, so I guess I'm staying here for the time being. To be honest, I expected this to take a little bit longer. Like, shouldn't she have guards or something? Or at least be a little cautious of random ponies she picked up off the street?

"That would be nice, thank you." No use saying anything else at this point, plus it helps me worm my way further into her life. I sit down. "Why did you help me?" I ask. " Why not just leave me? I mean, you don't even know me." Something I'm genuinely curious about. I mean, she went out of her way to help someling she's never met. Noling would ever do that for anyling back at the hive.

"Well I couldn't just leave you, could I?" she says, smile plastered on her snout as she levitates over two cups of tea. Yeah, not drinking that. I drink emotions, not tea. "And besides. What kind of princess would I be if I didn't help out my subjects?" she giggles, but all happiness washes from her almost immediately. "Not that I think of any of you as my subjects of course. I wouldn't want you to think I'm looking down on you!" She stares at me and taps her hooves together, a small frown on her muzzle, her tea momentarily forgotten. She's anxious. I can feel it. It's strong too. It's like she will do anything to avoid upsetting me.

I wave my hoof. "It's okay, really. Thanks for the tea, Twilight." I reach out for the cup with my magic, dreading the disgusting liquid, but I suddenly feel a sharp stabbing headache funnel through my horn and into my head. "Arrgh!" I yell out, clutching my head as green sparks fly from my head. Okay, I now regret choosing unicorn. Well, it was either being one of those featherbrains or having nothing at all.

"Black Light!" I hear her yell. There's real fear and concern in the air. It tastes bitter as all Tartarus. My head feels like it's going to split in two. I think I overloaded my horn. But from that? I've done some way harder stuff before. Do you know how much magic goes into a shapeshifting spell?

At some point it appears that I had fallen off of her couch and onto the floor and now the princess is standing over me, shaking me with her forehooves. I clench my eyes shut and try to slow my breathing. From the heat in my brain, I'd say that I'm still sending out green sparks like it's new year's. I focus my remaining willpower through the wall of pain and block off my horn from my magic. Instantly, my headache becomes more manageable and I roll over onto my back. I groan and open my eyes. I feel Twilight's relief wash over me. Really. Sure it's bland, but I could probably live off this for a good while.

I pull myself up until my front half is resting on her table. I wait until I stop seeing fourteen separate Princess Twilights and hold a hoof up to my horn. It's hot. Great. Just great. "Black Light!" Twilight grabs me in her hooves. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay? I haven't seen an overload like that in years!" I nod.

"Any idea what could have caused it?" I ask, my voice straining. I'm usually so good at this sort of thing. "I haven't overloaded like this since I was a colt." Well, a grub, but it's still true. I once tried to shift a few more times than I was able. It wasn't pretty.

She gasps. "Your horn!" I bring my hoof back up to my horn. Crap. There's a chunk missing. Like, not just a chip or something, like, a whole massive chunk. I wince. One, because I have a chunk of my horn missing, and two because of the exposed nerves. "You might have to get that filed down and wait for it to heal." I look at her. "You're lucky it didn't come off at the base, otherwise it might not be able to heal at all." Yeah. Lucky me.

I continue to stare, genuine fear creeping into me. "Is there any place here in Ponyville I could get it filed?"

"I could book you into the Ponyville spa. I'm sure they could help you out." I smile.

"Thanks Twilight." I get back up onto the sofa and stare out the window. "You've been nothing but nice to me, and I don't know how I can ever return the favour."

She smiles warmly. "Believe me, you don't owe me anything. I'm just happy to help." I smile. Being indebted to this pony would be the worst. "Are you sure you're okay? That was quite the overload." I nod and look back out the window. "Are you new in Ponyville?" she asks. "I don't think I've seen you around lately."

"Yeah. I'm actually new here today. I was just going to stay at a hotel until I got a place of my own." I say, turning back to this purple princess.

"If you want, you can stay here for the night," she says, waving to the hall. "I'm sure I could find a spare room." I smile. And a genuine one too. This changeling's not sleeping on the street any time soon.

"I'd appreciate that, Twilight." I say as she stands up and ushers me out of the room, my tea cold and forgotten for good.

"You know, I might be able to fix your cart for you."

"Really? That would be amazing, Twilight."

I lay in bed, the lights having gone out hours before. I'm conflicted. I'm trying as hard as I can to hate this purple pony princess, but the more I try, the less I'm able to do it. She's done so much for me, and I'm genuinely grateful. She saved me from my cart, made me tea, however inedible for my species, showed real concern for me before and after my magical overload, gave me a bed to sleep in and even offered to fix my cart. Sure I did mean to crash it, but she's still going out of her way to help me.

She didn't need to do any of this for me. She could have just as easily passed me by, leaving me for someling else. She went the extra mile. She cares for me. That's… That's not a feeling that's common in the hive. We all just have one goal, and if a few of our changeling brothers and sisters fall along the way, so be it.

Ugh. It's too late for this. I'm getting to sleep.