Harem Problems

Pinkie Pie sighed as she adjusted herself atop her bale of hay, strands of the stuff prickling the back of her head as she moved. Her sigh wasn’t a sigh of sadness, nor was it one of contentedness. No, this was a sigh of boredom, one that screamed of hours upon hours of waiting with nothing to do but hope that something—anything!—would break the stalemate of silence inside the darkened room.

Of course, she had been bound and gagged inside the Apple Family barn for only two and a half minutes, but still....

Glancing down her body, the physical embodiment of laughter frowned at the ropes keeping her hind legs spread apart. She did a testing tug to try and loosen them even though she knew it wouldn’t work, and even though she knew she knew it wouldn’t work she couldn’t help but groan in frustration as, well, it didn’t work.

She sighed again. The wait was excruciating! And, worst of all, she was starting to get a little hungry!

“Hmm….” She lamented through the gag in her mouth, stomach growling into the darkness like a bear just awoken from its nap. Another part of her body let its displeasure known as well, but it could only muster a wet-sounding shlick as it winked just south of her tummy.

Pinkie’s eyes fell to the bubblegum lips of her marehood, the plump folds left utterly defenseless between her outstretched legs. At any moment something could jump out and attack, and she'd be unable to do anything but writhe in ecstasy as they feasted on her poor pony pussy. Which, of course, was exactly her problem:

Nothing was feasting on her poor pony pussy!

“Hmph hrm hrgh!" Pinkie begged whatever could hear to get on with it. What 'it' was, she wasn’t sure, but her hunger faded as she imagined the possibilities. Would it be a good-old-fashioned rutting? Had they been checking out the small, dark-pink donut beneath her tail with a riveting round of rimming in mind? Or maybe they’d go with her personal favorite; a long, hard, and oh-so-enjoyable spit-roast!

The party mare groaned as the warmth between her legs bloomed into an insufferable heat, one that threatened to grow so hot that she was sure she'd melt if nothing happened soon! In a matter of moments she’d be reduced to a pink pony puddle, left feeling horny as all Tartarus as she wondered if... if....

Her ears perked up. Something was moving around to her left, but she couldn’t make out whatever—or, hopefully, whomever—it was. A similar sound came from the opposite way and, as she whipped her head around, she saw a set of green eyes floating in the darkness. A cold tingle of fear crept up her spine as they approached, and as they moved out of the shadows they were revealed to be—

—her marefriend, Applejack.

“Ya know, I’m not sure I got mine on right.”

Pinkie turned her head and gasped as her other marefriend, Rainbow Dash, came into view, though it was what was between the pegasus’s legs that got most of her attention. “Come on, Apple-smack, still can’t put a strap-on right?” Rainbow lifted a hind leg with a smirk. “It ain't Canterlot-science! Just remember; the part that looks like a dick goes inside Pinkie, not inside you!”

Drool pooled against Pinkie's gag as she watched Rainbow's synthetic stallion dong swing back and forth, the rumblings of her tummy replaced with an entirely different kind of hunger. Instead of jumping on the Pinkie Pie-express on a one-way trip to bang-town, however, Applejack sat and began fiddling with her own artificial shaft.

“Tch, like I don’t know that, Rainbow.” The country mare went to stand and groaned in frustration as her penis fell off. “Ugh! Darn thing just don't want to stay put!”

Rainbow giggled into a hoof. “Here, let me help you with that.”

Applejack rolled her eyes as the pegasus walked behind her. “Yeah yeah yeah, at least you have wings to—”

The country mare stiffened as a big, wet smooch echoed inside the room.

“Whoa nelly!”

Rainbow backed away from between Applejack’s hindquarters with a smirk, lips glistening from her kiss on the mare's sweet apple pussy. “You sure you don’t want to just eat her out and leave the actual fucking to me? This whole strap-on thing clearly has you shaken up!”

Applejack swatted the chuckling pegasus away with her tail. “Tch. You’re lucky it’s Pinkie’s week, sugarcube, else I’d have you regrettin’ those words mighty quickly!”

“Heh….” Rainbow's tail brushed against Applejack's cheek as she walked by, showing off the plump lips of her already damp marehood. “As if I couldn’t take you!”

“Hrgmph hmm!" The nearly forgotten Pinkie groaned as she tried thrusting her hips into the air. "Hrgmph hmm!”

Applejack chuckled. “Sorry, Pinks, just had trouble putting on the ol’ mare banger. Now then—” she stood and grinned as her strap-on wiggled between her legs, the sex toy now firmly in place “—you ready to go for a ride, little pony?”

Pinkie's clit responded with an excited hoof-pump into the air. “Mmm—”

“Now hold on a second!” Pinkie’s eyes widened as Rainbow rounded on Applejack with a scowl. “We talked about this! I'm going first, not you!” The pegasus booped the earth pony in the chest and grinned. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Pinkie would rather not have somepony fuck her at a snail's pace this time around!”

A chill spread throughout the room as Applejack’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Snail’s pace? That’s called endurance, sugarcube.” She smirked and returned the tap on the chest with a harder one of her own. “Something little miss quick-shot over here ain’t ever heard of!”

Rainbow growled and butted heads with Applejack, her wings unfurling for a fight. “Oh yeah? Well, you make sex so boring that—”

Pinkie sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t a sigh of sadness, nor was it one of contentedness. Hay, it wasn’t even a sigh based in reality! No, this was a sigh of disappointment from within her mind, one that echoed off the walls of her consciousness like ripples in a puddle.

"Great, there they go…." She sighed again, this time bringing a suddenly unbound hoof up to rub the back of her suddenly straightened mane. "Ugh, these mares are driving me crazy! Can’t they just agree on doing something? Can’t they just agree on doing me!? It’s like, as soon as it’s my turn, they always… hmph!"

She finished her statement with a firm hoof-stomp against the ground—if the infinite expanse beneath her could be called ground—and, shockingly enough, turned towards you, the reader, with a stern expression on her face. "Hey, Anon. Have you ever had to deal with two marefriends at once? No? Well, let me tell you something. About sixty-six point six six six six six percent of the time it’s fantastically amazing! It’s like… it’s like eating the cake part of a slice of cake first just so the last couple bites are made up entirely of smooth, creamy, sugary, mind-blowingly good frosting! Mmm, frosting…."

The mare wiped a line of drool from the corner of her lips before continuing. "And it’s so good, so sweet, that you can’t help but love it with all your heart! But that other thirty-three point three three three three four percent of the time? This happens!" She winced as Applejack headbutted Rainbow mid-argument in the real world. "Those two just can’t seem to agree on anything!" Her cheeks grew rosy as she smiled, bashfully. "Well, other than loving each other unconditionally. We can all agree on that.…"

Reaching into her mane, the party pony pulled out a pair of spectacles that matched the lab coat she had somehow thrown on without you noticing. "Let me explain. See, when Rainbow, Applejack, and I got together"—she donned her glasses as a whiteboard with well-drawn representations of the mares on it appeared beside her— "we decided that, seeing as we’re all so busy, we’d set aside a day or two each week where we’d get together and have a good time. And by a good time, I mean lots and lots of hot, kinky sex!"

Pausing to straighten her glasses, Pinkie cleared her throat before continuing. "To keep things fair, we set up a system where the one receiving the fun-filled fucking would change every week. That way everypony gets a turn, and this usually works out great! Applejack—" she pointed towards the drawing of the apple farmer, which reached up and tilted its hat in greeting "—loves a bit of roughhousing beforehoof. Rainbow has to hold her down long enough for me to hit her weak spots before we really get into it." The Rainbow-drawing suddenly tackled the Applejack one, and as the two mares tussled the third snuck up and shoved its snout between the latter's legs. "By hit I mean lick, and by weak spots I mean her yummy, juicy fun-flower. Heh-heh...."

After waiting a moment to see if the illustrations would stop on their own, Pinkie coughed into a hoof to get their attention and pointed them towards the center of the board. The cartoon depictions rolled their eyes but, other than that, separated from their pony-pile without a fuss.

"So, where was I?" Pinkie tapped her chin in thought. "Oh, that's right! Rainbow!"

The cerulean drawing, in true Rainbow fashion, puffed out its chest at the calling of its name. "Rainbow, while rather tomcoltish in public, actually loves being a total sub when it’s her turn!" The drawing blushed and shielded its face from view. "She likes being treated like a mare during sex! And boy does it feel nice to cuddle with her after we’re done! Best sleep I’ve ever had!" The other two mares ran over and wrapped the pegasus up in a hug, and before long all three slumped to the floor.

Pinkie’s heart warmed at the scene. "Yeah, those times are great." She sighed as her lips fell into a frown. "But then there’s my turn." She pointed at the drawing of herself, which had crawled underneath a wing to cozy up against Rainbow’s side. "See, I don’t have many boundaries when it comes to sex. I’m just happy if they’re happy."

Her frown deepened as the mares continued to cuddle. "The problem is that they can never agree on what to do! Rainbow, when she’s supposed to be dominant, likes to go all-in all the time and comes up with neat ideas like eating me out mid-air. Which, after attempting once, I can say is really fun but also really hard and really, really dangerous." The 2-D Rainbow tightened her hold around the Pinkie-sketch and lifted her into the air, leaving the third drawing all alone on the ground. "But that leaves Applejack out of the fun, and that’s not fair!"

Applejack ran underneath the two ponies and started jumping up and down, trying and failing to grab the pink tail that dangled from above like a fishing hook. Rainbow smirked at her marefriend’s feeble attempts and, after twisting to put herself between Pinkie’s legs, started eating the drawing out while Applejack stomped in frustration below. With a stern look and a hoof-waggle the real Pinkie pointed them back towards the center of the board, but as Rainbow brought her 2-D self down she sat and pouted like a foal who had been denied their favorite treat.

Pinkie frowned. "Nuh-uh, missy! You know that wasn’t fair! Now, go join the others!"

Rainbow’s harrumphed and begrudgingly walked towards the center of the board, her cartoon mouth dripping with Pinkie's cartoon juices. The real Pinkie nodded her head as the mares regrouped and, turning her attention towards the now-giggling Applejack, continued with her explanation. "And then, when it’s Applejack’s turn to top, she likes to take things really, really slow. Like, no cum-cums until the sun comes out kind of slow. Plus, she has this really weird thing about putting apples inside other ponies' bodies." Applejack smirked and held an apple out towards Rainbow, who recoiled in fear. "Rainbow doesn’t much care for that. Not after that one time in Appleloosa…."

An image of the trio in Appleloosa appeared above Pinkie's head, but before you could make sense of what was happening the mare erased it with a frantic wave of her hooves. "Heh-heh, sorry! That’ll have to be a story for another day! Let’s just say that I got the nickname 'Apple Pie' and Rainbow, well...." She shivered as if remembering something truly traumatizing. "Rainbow had a bad day."

With that Pinkie turned and, with a final wave to the mares, clapped her hooves together to erase the whiteboard from her mind. She took off her glasses and, after placing them back inside her mane, looked at you with a pleading look in her eyes. "See what I mean? While I love the two of them, they just don’t seem to be able to work together towards a common goal! Which, of course, is the goal of bucking my brains out till I can't think straight!" With a "hmph!" of annoyance she turned and laid down, head propped up in her hooves as she watched her marefriends bicker in the real world. "What am I going to do?"

A flash of pink caught your attention as the mare mulled over her options, leading you to glance at her slowly swaying tail. Warmth spread throughout your body as, at the apex of each of its swings, you saw the bright-pink lips of her beautiful, pony pussy. The smooth folds sat perfectly between her legs, glistening in the strange ambient light like a juicy slice of watermelon just waiting to be devoured. The mare's clit winked as if beckoning you to come forward and, with your arousal building, you reached for the soft-yet-supple-looking cheeks of her ass—

"Sorry, Anon." You paused as soon as her voice reached your ears, and you glanced up to see her looking back at you with a smile. "I'd love to play, but—" her voice grew softer as she started to fade from view "—this story doesn’t have the human tag…."

And with that, she was gone.

Pinkie sighed for the umpteenth time as she settled atop her bale of hay for another long, sexless night, the sound of her marefriends' bickering fading into the back of her mind. It wasn’t a sigh of sadness, nor was it one of disappointment. No, this was a sigh of acceptance. She had known from the beginning that something would go wrong. Sure, they had worked together to tie her up, but she had a feeling they'd started arguing as soon as they had stepped outside!

"Hmm...." Pinkie hummed behind her gag, eyes fluttering closed as she dreamed of beautiful mares banging her with beautiful cocks. Just before they closed completely, however, she saw a shooting star streak past one of the many holes in the barn's ceiling, so she did the only thing she could.

She wished.

She wished that, somehow, her marefriends would stop bickering. She wished that they’d agree on something for a change. She wished that, more than anything else, they’d turn around and start bucking her brains out, shoving their shafts inside her body till the fire between her legs was all but a distant memory.

All she got, however, was another round of shouts between Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie closed her eyes and sighed one, final time. "And here I thought this story had clop…."

BANG!

A bright flash of light in the center of the room blinded both Applejack and Rainbow Dash, bringing an end to their literal fucking argument as they shielded their eyes from view. Pinkie’s, however, shot open as the telltale sound of teleportation reached her ears. She watched as a giant ball of energy coalesced in the air, one that spun with enough force to toss dust and hay haphazardly across the room. Gusts of warm wind battered her face and blew her cotton-candy mane back, yet even as her eyes began to water she could not look away.

With another bang the orb burst in an extravagant array of colors, revealing a tall, dark form standing in its core. The creature was large, larger than what any normal pony could be, and as it picked up its head and spread its wings Pinkie saw the long spire of bone protruding from its forehead. It then opened its mouth and, in a loud, booming voice, proclaimed—

“THY WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED!”

Pinkie smiled as her mane, blown back from the force of the Royal Canterlot Voice, snapped perfectly back into place. “Iffs Mmrmss Hmmah!”

With a stomp of a hoof the creature's horn ignited, illuminating the face of the one and only Princess of the Night. “Yes, pink one, it is I, Princess Luna!” The alicorn struck up a regal pose, wings extended and head held high as she dramatically swept a hoof through the air. “And I am here to help!” The princess smiled and, bringing a hoof to her lips as if telling somepony a secret, whispered into Pinkie's ear, “Thanks for calling me! My sweet sister above was I bored doing paperwork back at the castle!”

Pinkie Pie nodded her head in understanding. “Nmm Frmlmn.”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash, heads still butted in the corner, watched in disbelief as the Princess Luna strolled around their bound and gagged marefriend. Both of their eyes widened as the alicorn ducked between Pinkie’s legs and both of their cheeks flushed as she pried the mare’s lips apart with magic, but when she leaned in even further—almost to the point that muzzle touched marehood—Applejack finally found it in herself to speak. “Uh, Princess Luna? Not that we ain’t happy to be graced by your presence and all, but what exactly are ya—”

“Ah ha!" Luna pulled back from Pinkie's pussy with a hoof-pump. "I have found the problem!”

Applejack shared a worried glance with the pegasus beside her. “Problem? What problem?”

Luna turned towards the two mares and pointed between Pinkie’s legs. “This mare needs to be fucked. Badly.”

“Mmm-hmph,” Pinkie hummed as she nodded at the alicorn's wise words.

Rainbow stared at the alicorn in disbelief. “Uh, yeah, we know. We were just about to—”

The pegasus was interrupted by another cry of excitement. “Ah ha! I have found the solution!”

A resounding clap rang out as Applejack face-hoofed. “Oh boy, here we go….”

After taking a moment to scan the room—for what, only the alicorn knew—Luna turned towards Rainbow and pointed at the barn door. “Pegasus, fly into town and gather as many able-bodied stallions as you can find! This mare needs a good rutting before the night is done!”

Rainbow gave the princess her quintessential 'what the hay are you talking about' look. "What the hay are you talking about, Princess?" She turned and lifted a hind leg to show off the toy strapped around her waist. “We got that part covered already!”

Luna’s head tilted as she peered at the pegasus's peculiar-looking penis. “Oh, my apologies, Mr. Dash. I did not realize you were a stallion! Please accept my sincerest apology!”

Rainbow scowled as Applejack burst out laughing beside her. “B-but… I’m not a stallion!” Her wings twitched in agitation as her giggling marefriend tumbled to the floor. “I’m a mare!”

Luna chuckled as she waved the pegasus off. “Mr. Dash, please. I may have been gone for quite some time, but I’m certain that mares didn't grow stallionhoods over these last thousand years!”

Applejack, turning over onto her belly as her uncontrollable laughing fit continued, reached between Rainbow's legs and wrapped a hoof around her marefriend's shaft. “I'm mighty sorry to contradict ya, princess, but—” she pulled to show it wasn’t connected to the pegasus’s body “—this here ain’t a real—”

A sudden shriek made both mares jump in surprise. “Sweet sister back in Canterlot! You cannot just tear a stallion’s pride from his body! What kind of depraved being are you!?”

It was Rainbow’s turn to chuckle as Applejack facehoofed beneath her, though her laughter was because the country mare had accidentally slapped herself in the face with her cock. “Pff, haha! C-come on, Luna, enough playing around! It’s just a strap-on!”

Luna scowled. “Playing around? Playing around!? Your friend just—wait.” Her anger dissipated as Applejack stood, Rainbow's cerulean cock still in hoof. “A… a strap-on? What manner of device is this?”

Applejack held the toy out with a shrug. “It’s just something we use for fun.” The faux-cock glowed as it was lifted towards the baffled princess. “You know, to help scratch those ‘hard to reach places’?”

“Hmm….” Luna slowly scrutinized the floating cock, turning it this way and that. “Nay, Applejack, I cannot fathom why you’d use such a thing to scratch your lower back.” She brought the head of the shaft up to her eye and peered through it like a telescope. “Nor do I see how this could help! Pinkie needs something long, hard and full of life to satiate her most natural of needs! Not this… thing!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, her patience worn thin. “Yeah? Well, if you haven't noticed—” she turned around with her tail lifted to show off the glistening lips of her marehood “—we’re mares! We don’t really have the, uh, parts for what you're suggesting!”

Luna hummed as she rubbed the shorter end of the dildo against her chin, smearing whatever juices were on it into her fur. “Hmm… you do have a point, winged one. This is quite the conundrum.”

Applejack waited for another eureka-like moment but, after a minute of silence, could do so no longer. “Look, Princess, I’m flattered that you visited and all, but could you please—”

“Ah ha!” Applejack’s stetson tumbled off her head as she jumped in surprise. “I have an idea!”

Rainbow sighed in frustration as Luna, with an excited burst of energy, ran behind Applejack as the earth pony bent over for her hat. "Look, Luna, I'm really freakin' horny right now, so why don't you—"

"WHOA NELLY!"

A bright blue aura suddenly encompassed Applejack's body, and as the earth pony rose into the air Rainbow rounded on Luna with a snarl. "What the hay are you—!"

"OOOH!"

The magic surrounding Applejack grew in intensity, forcing Rainbow to avert her eyes as Luna's became pure-white with power. The alicorn's long, spiraled horn ignited with sparks of crackling energy, and with a grand flourish of her wings she unleashed a bolt of magic straight into the mare's body. A massive shockwave blew Rainbow's mane back as Applejack disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and after clearing her lungs of what surely had to be pony-dust she turned back towards the center of the room—

—only to see Applejack standing there, dumbfounded yet completely unharmed.

Luna glanced underneath the mare and grinned. “Your problems have been solved!”

Applejack, standing as still as possible as she felt something heavy settle between her legs, opened her mouth and, without turning her head in the slightest, croaked, “Princess, what did ya do to me?”

Luna chuckled. “Well, it’s quite simple, Applejack.” She laid down and reached between the pony’s legs. “If we are unable to procure a stallion, then I’ll just have to make one!”

“Wha—ooohhh!” A sudden burst of pleasure ripped a moan from Applejack’s lungs. “Whoa nelly….”

Rainbow's wings fluttered on her back, her curiosity piqued. “What? What did she do?” She moved to get a better look. “What did she—”

She froze. It took her mind a moment to register what she saw dangling beneath her marefriend's waist, but as soon as it did her tail shot straight up and over her back. “Wait, you gave Applejack a dick!?”

Luna had, indeed, given Applejack a dick. And it was a big one, too.

Rainbow’s marehood winked. “Oh. My. Sweet. Celestia.” Her face brightened as a line of liquid excitement dribbled off the end of her clit. “Let me see let me see let me see!”

Charging past the still-bound and strangely unmoving Pinkie Pie, Rainbow ran to Applejack’s side to get a closer look. There, nestled between the farmer's thighs like a thick piece of sausage, was a stallionhood so large it hung halfway to the floor. The shaft was perfectly smooth past the few veins that bulged across its surface, each one twitching to the beat of the farm pony's heart. An accompanying set of testicles completed the scene, each as large as the fruit the mare's family was known for—and just as delicious-looking, too.

“Wha…?” Rainbow’s eyes widened as they fell on the wide, blunted head of her marefriend’s cock, a pearlescent bead of pre already perched upon its tip. “How…?”

Luna smiled and gently patted Applejack's testicles, jiggling the cum-laden apples around inside their brown, leathery bag. “Well, a long time ago, before I had my little… temper tantrum....” She blushed and averted her gaze, though her hoof continued rubbing Applejack’s sac like a genie-filled lamp. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

Rainbow nodded, her eyes never leaving the awe-inspiring length before her. “No problem....”

Luna returned the nod. “Thank you. But, as I was saying….” She paused in thought, absentmindedly giving Applejack's spheres a push to make them swing back and forth. “Things were… different back then. My sister and I had to have a certain authority about us no matter what the circumstance. To keep up appearances amongst the populace, you see.” She dragged her hoof underneath Applejack’s balls and, after giving them a testing heft to feel their weight, let the sac dangle between the mare’s legs. “This was true even in more intimate matters. Being princesses, we were expected to wed princes. The problem was there weren’t any around!” With a final parting tap to the potent foal-makers, Luna moved her hoof up to the base of the mare’s cock and gave it a teasing squeeze. “Or, at least, none that were very… appetizing, if you know what I mean.”

Rainbow wiped a line of drool from the corner of her lips. “Uh-huh….”

Luna grinned, devilishly. “But we had plenty of ponies around to help us with our more carnal of needs. Maids, advisors, guards, each other, anypony who was up to the task, really.” She pressed the shaft against Applejack’s undercarriage to check its length. “So, my sister and I came up with this for when we needed a good rutting. Made things a lot simpler, I’d say. I mean, a princess with a penis is basically a prince, right?”

Applejack, standing as still as possible as the two mares checked out her genitalia, groaned as Luna began rubbing the underside of her shaft. “I... I guess? Dang, that feels good!”

The rod flexed as Luna ran her hoof towards its tip, and the resulting smack against Applejack’s stomach was enough to startle Rainbow from her thoughts. Her marefriend's moans were like music to her ears, a kind of sensual song that left her heart hammering inside her chest and her folds fluttering between her legs. This time, however, they sounded slightly different, and as she watched Luna’s hoof slide back and forth she had a good idea as to why that was.

Plus, she had to admit she was a little... jealous.

“Uh, Luna?”

Luna, smiling as some pre smeared against her hoof, turned towards the pegasus and grinned. “Yes, Rainbow?”

Clit winking into the air and wings stiff on her back, Rainbow took a deep whiff of her marefriend's musk and asked the one thing that was on her mind.

“Can you give me a dick, too?”

Luna smirked, teeth glistening in the moonlight as another drop of apple-seed fell to the floor.

"I think that can be arranged….”