"The Ballad of Sir Percheron"
"The Ballad of Sir Percheron"
My family and I dwelt
Where past generations farmed.
Up until the war began
And they marched in, heavily armed.
The summer winds howled coldly
And brought with them bitter snows.
While the nobles fought each other
We, the poor, fought Windigos.
Every colt was pressed to service
In the Earthen Pony ranks.
Myself? Brought in with nothing
Save the axes on my flanks.
“A soldier’s life is to be yours!”
They told us every day.
We trained from dawn to sunset,
Meals composed of frozen hay.
I passed their training and their tests,
My title now was Sir.
My knighthood earned; that label
Dug into me like a burr.
Strategies and tactics they
Instilled in us for war.
But before we were sent out
The news already reached our door:
“The warring’s done! The fields have thawed!
The Windigos pushed back!
Our foes engage in talks of peace
No more shall they attack!”
Those words rang in my ears
Like some massive, clanging bell.
Go home? I thought My family’s gone.
Life became a living hell.
I had no king to serve,
Nor a single mare to woo.
In times of peace, the sword is sheathed;
What was this knight to do?
My future was uncertain
And the path I trod, unknown.
From hill to dale to valley
I plodded aimlessly, alone.
Until the day I stumbled ‘cross
A town, where Pegasi flew.
The Earth Ponies tilled their fields
And Unicorns wove spells, too.
Simply put, confused I was!
Things had changed from what I’d known.
My thoughts ran wild, abruptly stopped.
How much time, past me, had flown?
A ruckus then reached my ears…
A battle! Could it be true?
In this town of simple folk
Might I find my talents due?
As the smile spread ‘cross my face
I prepared myself to fight.
With axe in tow, I took two steps
But had no chance to prove my might.
A group of six ran past me
And though they numbered few
They fought, hardly and bravely
But suddenly as if on cue,
Strode I to them, axe re-sheathed,
And spoke thus, “Please, pardon me.
My name is Sir Percheron,
And I have quandaries, you see.”
One Unicorn stepped forward,
Her beautiful eyes deep blue.
“My name is Rarity, good Sir.
Ask away, as we shall, too.”
“Everything that’s around me
I find difficult to process.
The three tribes living side by side…
I’m at a loss, I must confess.”
The next Unicorn answered,
“I know lots of things, and you
Need answers for your questions.
If I might provide a few?”
Could her sparkling eyes have held the
Knowledge encompassing my fate?
I swallowed down my fears and then
Nodded once. “Please, elaborate.”
“There are many signs that mark you
As a pony from the war
When the three tribes fought each other
In the times of myth and lore.
But there’s no way this is possible!
That was centuries ago!
For all the time you’ve been alive
You should be dust and-” “So?”
A Pegasus interrupted,
Her wild mane rainbow-hued.
“Look, I’m not that big a hist’ry buff
But-” “Rainbow Dash! How rude!
You’ve barged in on poor Twilight
As she gave her explanation.
Say you’re sorry!” “Rarity?
Has yer brain gone on vacation?
Now Twilight here sure knows a lot
From all those books she’s read.
But it don’t take a lotta smarts
To figure this feller ain’t dead.
If I can tell by lookin’-”
“Oh Applejack, please stop!”
“And if I don’t?” “Well then,
I’ll have to-” “Do the Bunny Hop!”
The interjection caused us all
To stare with looks confused
At a pink-coated mare, and while
We did, she smiled at us, amused.
“Now that I’ve got your attentions,
Let’s help this poor guy out!
We can’t throw a party at all
If we just argue, scream and shout.
That’s all my lines, the writer’s blocked!”
So finished, she hopped away.
‘Twas then I heard the shyest voice,
“Um… I have something I’d like to say…”
The softly-spoken Pegasus
Took a breath, then addressed us all,
“The Princesses might know something.
I think we should give them a call.”
Her friends’ jaws fell in unison
As quickly as dropping a hat.
They blushed and smiled, exclaimed as one,
“Why didn’t we think of that?!”
Apologies were passed around
Easily with friends so dear.
Soon after that, Twilight spoke up
As she grinned from ear to ear.
“The Princesses should know something
About your situation.
They’ve lived through centuries, surely
They have an explanation!
I’ll go and send a letter now
So they’ll know we’re on our way.
They both live there, in Canterlot-”
“It’s simply splendid, I must say!”
Twilight pointed at the castle
On the mountain in the distance.
Could the Princesses she mentioned
Know the truth of my existence?
I knelt to them in gratitude,
“I thank you for your aid.
In time I shall endeavor
To have your kindness repaid.”
I rose back up and took twelve steps,
But stopped as a voice refined
Spoke, “I hate to bother you, but
We’ve an offer, if you’re inclined.”
I thanked them as we got on.
When we got off, I thanked again
But… not even to save my life
Will I dare board another train!
With nausea and terror gone
I marched boldly towards the castle.
To my dismay, the guards outside
Proceeded to halt and hassle.
“We’re sorry sir, you can’t go in.
Please leave your axe behind.”
They’re only doing their duty
I thought. Still! I shall speak my mind.
“You ask a knight to lay down
What he uses to protect?
Before I do, come closer and
My armor’s crest inspect.”
The right one scoffed, and left one laughed
As much as I expected.
But I had heard worse in my youth,
And stood there, unaffected.
My newfound friends then gathered ‘round,
While Twilight stood in front of me.
She seemed to be waiting, but why?
Then thunder broke out, “LEAVE THEM BE!”
The guards had blanched, their armor shook.
The voice in volume grew,
“ALLOW THAT GROUP THEIR PASSAGE
LEST I DISCHARGE BOTH OF YOU!”
The scrambling took place after
As they both ran to the gate.
Quite quickly they rushed us in,
Eager to change their course of fate.
We met the one whose voice had sent
A shiver, clear down my back.
Though I had some trepidation,
One look and my jaw went slack.
Her beauty struck me to my core,
For the first time, my heart did stir.
I’d thought that if right then I’d died,
It was worth that one glimpse of her.
“Excuse me, Sir, are you alright?
You seem to be in quite the daze.
Perhaps it was something you ate
That coats your eyes in such a glaze?”
Snap out of it, you nitwit colt!
Extend your manners! DO IT NOW!
I shook my head. Once cleared, I then
Performed a deep but simple bow.
I kept my eyes closed as I spoke,
“Princess, truly thou art fair.
Thine heart be wrathful ‘gainst all foes,
Yet thou grace subjects with its care.
I am a lost soul sent adrift
Through time it seems, though I’ve stopped here.
All whom I had known are gone,
Those held close are all gathered near.
Princess, think not ill of me
As now I ask thee for a boon.
I humbly ask to serve thee,
Princess of the silvery moon!”
The gasps around me spoke of the
Audacity I had taken.
The silence that ensued made me
Despair. Was I that forsaken?
I took a breath, composed my mind
To find the words I had to say.
The Princess beat me to the punch
With that single, dreadful word, “Nay.”
My tears spilled forth like liquid fire,
I only had myself to blame.
“How can I accept the service
Of one, if I know not his name?”
As I looked up, she smiled down,
“S-sir P-p-percheron!” I did stammer.
She giggled then, and that sound had
Me enchanted with its glamour.
I joined my friends in newfound cheer,
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy,
Applejack and Rarity,
With Twilight and… Pinkie Pie?!
How did she… oh forget it!
I don’t care if I never know.
I did not even wonder why
Her mane was caked in cocoa.
Long story short, we partied hard
Until my friends went home.
At dusk I stood watch with my Princess,
From her side I never would roam.
