Twilight twirled in the new dress Rarity had made for her. It was to commemorate the fiftieth year of Luna’s return, and the design reflected that, shimmering at the top to replicate stars while fading from a deep purple to orange at the bottom, so signify the rising of the sun. The unicorn smiled, eyes slightly narrowed through the glasses on her face. “I believe this is the best dress I’ve made for such a stunning young Princess ever, and your figure hasn’t changed a millimeter. Would that I could do that, Twilight Sparkle.”
As Rarity helped Twilight out of the dress and sat in on the ponyquin, she replayed those words over in her head again. She shuffled her feet, moving ever so slightly closer to Rarity, and adjusted her wings. “You say that like I’m not turning seventy this year. You aren’t that much older than me.” She laid a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder.
A chuckle escaped Rarity. “Look, darling.” Rarity gestured to the mirror the two mares were standing in front of. “Look at us. I have wrinkled, my coat is turning a darker grey. I can’t even try to pass it as white anymore. My mane, as much as it pains me, is starting to thin. That’s why I haven’t been curling it.”
“That doesn’t-“
A hoof against her lips stopped Twilight from speaking. “Ah, but look at you. Still as fresh faced as the day you were crowned. Your bones aren’t protesting your movements, your sight and hearing are pristine, and your memories aren’t fading.”
Twilight turned away from the mirror, squeezing her eyes shut against the burning tears. “Stop it.” She took a deep breath, and another. Finally she opened her eyes again and peaked at Rarity, who was looking at her with worry and fear. “Twilight, darling, you have to stop trying to delude yourself—“
“If you care about our friendship at all, just stop.”
The two mares stared at each other for a moment. Twilight felt her heart beat, beat, beat. Then Rarity nodded, moving toward the tea set she had prepared. “Very well.”
It was dusk as Twilight approached the cottage on the edge of the forest. It was quiet here, as it always was. She looked at the empty chicken coop, the empty burrows, the empty tree branches. She remembered walking this path at this same time of night and hearing a canophy of noise as all the animals that Fluttershy took care of chittered and squeaked. She could see a small source of illumination through the window. She took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door.
It took a few moments, but eventually the door was opened to a view of Fluttershy. “Oh, hello, Twilight. Please, come in.” Fluttershy moved to the side, allowing Twilight a view of the cottage. She looked around more as she stepped inside. Gone were all the cages that had once held a variety of animals. There wasn’t any large hay stacks or feed sacks sitting around. A blazing fire was going in the hearth, enough for Twilight to nearly suggest they talk outside instead. The cottage smelled of cinnamon, where Twilight’s nostrils had expected the way it had been long ago, like wet animal fur and a bit musty.
“I hope this isn’t inconvenient for you,” Twilight said. She took a seat on the couch, Fluttershy sitting beside her, picking up an afghan to cover herself with.
Fluttershy shook her head, using a wing to gesture to a book on the coffee table. “Not at all. I was just about to finish reading that book. How have you been? I haven’t seen you in nearly a month.”
Twilight sighed. “I know. I keep trying to see you girls, but I’ve been so busy. We’re working on our foreign relations with the Zebrican nations, and without Zecora around to help, like I had originally planned, it’s not going as smoothly as I would have liked.” Twilight fanned her wings out slightly, just enough to not be rude. “Aren’t you hot?”
“Oh, no. The doctor says my heart isn’t circulating properly, and that’s why I’m cold all the time.” She unconsciously moved her hoof over her chest. “She thinks it’s going to give out soon. I guess you think another log on the fire would be too much?”
Taking a deep breath, Twilight shook her head. “Not at all, Fluttershy. I’ll get that for you, okay.”
The posters all proclaimed Rainbow Dash to be the fastest Pegasus in Equestria, in the world, in the universe, and yet Twilight was slowing her pace to about a fourth of what was normal in order for Dash to keep up.
Still, Dash managed to tell new jokes, her eyes lighting up as she guffawed at her own punchline. “Anyway, Twilight, what brings you here?”
“To Ponyville? It’s still my home, Dash.”
The rainbow fringe did it’s best to hide the eye roll. “Technichally, maybe, but you’re in not-Ponyville a lot more than you’re here anymore. Today is the first day you saw my new house.”
Twilight sighed. “Yes, I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t even know you had moved. I am going to find the appropriate gift and figure out why I didn’t receive my house warming invitation.”
“Ugh, egghead, I didn’t have a lame housewarming party. Especially since I had to move from a totally awesome, state of the art cloud house to the ground. It’s just…it’s hard to trust that my wings will catch me every time, you know? All those injuries from when I was younger are finally catching up to me.” Dash laughed again. Twilight just looked at the ground.
“You’re going to have to wipe that glum look off your face, sugarcube. I can’t have you moping ‘round here.” Apple Jack sat a glass of iced tea in front of Twilight, and a plate of apple pie. “You know, good as I do, that once the young’ns see ya, they’re gonna wanna play.”
That did make Twilight smile. “I know. That’s why I came now. So we could just catch up. I miss you girls so much.”
Apple Jack patted her on the hoof. “It’s alright, Twi. When you get back from that trip to Neighpon, we’ll do something real special like.”
Twilight blinked. “I got back from the trip to Neighpon two months ago, Apple Jack. Don’t you remember?”
Apple Jack rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry, Twi. My memories seem to be fading out a lot. I remember now.” After a short silence, Apple Jack perked up. “Say, when you going to Saddle Arabia? I was wanting some of them special spices to put into some pies, the pegasi seem to really like them.”
Twilight’s eyes glanced to the spices she had just given Apple Jack, laying behind her on the counter. “I’ll do my best to remember them for you.”
Apple Jack beamed. “You’re such a good friend, Twilight.”
Pound and Pumpkin greeted Twilight as she walked into Sugarcube Corner. “Hey, Princess, how’re you?” Pound called from behind the register.
Twilight smiled. “I’m good, Pound.” She looked around him and into the kitchen, where an orange maned unicorn was floating all sorts of ingridents around while a pink blur zipped around. “Hi, Pumpkin, hi Pinkie.”
“Hi, Princess Twilight,” Pumpkin called. “Want a latte?”
“Not today. I just wanted to talk to Pinkie for a bit.”
“Sure thing!”
Twilight jumped, looking beside here where Pinkie hadn’t been just moments before. “Come on, let’s sit in a booth.” Twilight slid in across from Pinkie, studying her face, just as she had done all her friends recently. “You feeling okay, Twilight?”
“Yes, I’m fine, Pinkie.”
“You sure?” Pinkie asked, drawing out the last word to nearly twice its length.
Twilight looked down at the table. “I should be asking you that. Everyone else has so much wrong with them. I don’t…I didn’t realize how far behind you guys I am. How I’m going to be here for so much longer than you.”
Pinkie giggled. “Is that’s what has you down in the dumps? It’s just life, Twily. It happens. But it’s okay, because there will be more smiling faces once ours are gone. Imagine all the friends you’re going to be able to make, and all the friendship discoveries you make, and all the cool new stuff that’s going to be coming out. There is so much cool stuff in the future.”
Twilight giggled. “How do you know that, Pinkie?”
“It’s the future. There’s gotta be cool stuff.” She shrugged.
“I don’t want to be without you girls. You’re my very best friends. You taught me everything I know about friendship. How am I supposed to function without you?” Twilight blinked as tears hit the table. “I don’t want to do this.”
She felt arms wrap around her as Pinkie enveloped her in a hug. “Twily, it’s scary, and maybe a little bit sad, but you have so much to look forward to. Keep looking forward, and everything will be okay.”
Twilight looked up into Pinkie’s reassuring, smiling face, and nodded.
Pinkie was wrong, though. She didn’t want to do this. Not at all. She wouldn’t be without her friends. She wouldn’t live through this time and time and time again. You’ll learn to hold them in your heart, Celestia had said. Time will heal the sorrow, Luna had said. Cadance was having her own freak out as Shining Armor got older, and Discord was doing everything he could to make Fluttershy comfortable.
No one had any real answers. This wasn’t what she wanted. She paced the castle. Spike was on a diplomatic mission with the dragons. Startlight was in the Crystal Empire, taking visiting her grand foals.
And Twilight was alone.
Twilight was alone.
Alone.
She took a deep, gasping breath. Her friends couldn’t be leaving her. She couldn’t take her friends leaving her. The thought of it sent her into a panic attack. What would happen when one of them really did leave her forever? Her breathing was erratic as she paced, looking wildly around the destroyed library room. Books lay everywhere, opened and closed, pages bent and torn and no order to nothing because nothing mattered anyway.
No, there was no way to fix these things. She just needed to go take another nap. That would help her. She would wake up and have a fresh mind…
Only, sleeping the night before hadn’t helped. Not a nap, then. A walk in the park.
Where foals she had seen born would walk past her, looking older than she ever would be capable of.
The she stopped. No pacing. Not frantic searching though books. Complete and utter, perfect stillness. She could stop all of this, at least for herself. It was there, looking her in the face. The one thing she had been thinking about but never looked directly in the eye.
Now she stared at it, dead on.
She purposefully moved through the castle and to her own personal quarters. She found an old dress, one she had bought that Rarity thought was hideous, and tore long strips from it, using her magic to tie her wings tightly to her body. She attempted to flex her wings and free them any way she could, but she wasn’t able to. Nodding, she moved through her personal quarters and found her small lab. It was dusty from disuse, causing a coughing fit, but eventually she found what she was looking for. Rope she had been using to in several experiments.
She looked around the room, finding a vial that she knew she had stored, and swallowed the contents. Then she looked once more at the label: Magic Blocker. She walked back to the her bedroom and opened the door to the closet, pushing a chair and tying a rope around the crystal rod.
She stood there for a moment and then looked to her desk. Using her hooves, she wrote a messy letter and hung in on the door before walking back to the closet and shutting the door.
Spike wasn’t sure where Twilight was. He has returned a day late from his diplomatic meeting, and ever since, he had been asked. He walked through the halls of the castle, calling her name, until he came to the door.
There was a letter with his name written on it. Shruging, he took it down and read it. He frowned when he recognized the terrible hoof writing as Twilight’s wondering why she hadn’t just used her horn.
Spike,
I need you to go get one of the new doctors in town. I seem to have fallen very ill, and I don’t want you coming into my chambers, in case I’m contagious.
You’re a wonderful assistant and have been the best little brother I could ask for, Spike. I love you.
Twilight Sparkle
