If

by Fabulosity Personified

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Angel, Fluttershy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1615

Fluttershy wonders how her life would have been different were it not for one significant event.

Many people ask themselves "what if..." and ponies are no different. How altered would our entire lives be if one 'what if' moment were to change? On one restless night, Fluttershy finds out.

***

My 3rd story and my 1st when I've actually had people 'watching' me on FIMfiction. Pressure! I knocked this out in about an hour and a half, with no planning or pre-reader and I'm sure it shows. I just felt like writing something though, and I hope somebody out there enjoys it.

Thanks for reading.

Published 2012-06-26 10:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-26 10:44:01 UTC

If

What is this place
Filled with so many wonders?
Casting its spell
That I am now under

She was falling. That was all she knew. All that she could feel was the wind battering into her small frame, all she could hear was the air rushing past her ears and all she could taste and smell was her own fear. A feeling of oppression, not physical but ethereal surrounded her.

She should have known this moment like the back of her hoof, but something was wrong. The bright sky, lit by Celestia’s orb, was absent; instead darkness surrounded her as she fell, and when she opened her mouth to scream, no sound emerged. The realisation brought a pang of lucidity and with that she hit the ground.

Fluttershy sat bolt upright in bed, panting, sweat running in rivulets down her face. A dream. That was all. Exhaling loudly the yellow pony lay back down, letting the fluffy pillow cradle her head and comfort her after her nightmare.

There was no way she was getting back to sleep after that. Rolling over and glancing at the clock on the bedside table, she grimaced at the early hour. With a sigh and a slight flap of her wings, Fluttershy rose and practically collapsed out of bed, before stumbling to the door.

Even at such an early hour a light shone from downstairs. Angel was up again. His insomnia often mirrored Fluttershy’s own, a seemingly telepathic link that had helped to cement their relationship; he was more than merely a pet to her.

Had Twilight been there she might have questioned how a rabbit had been able to light the candles that caused the long shadow that followed behind Fluttershy as she descended the pine staircase. The Pegasus on the other hand knew better than to question one of the little mysteries of Equestrian life.

“Oh Angel, up late again? Could you not sleep?”

Angel gave her a look as if to say you couldn’t sleep so neither could I. You know how it works.

“Well I’m sorry, but I had that dream again.”

Oh dear. That means we get distracted Fluttershy for the next week and I’ll be the one who has to try and keep you focused.

“If you feel like that…”

Angel rolled his eyes and tapped his foot with faux impatience. Go on Fluttershy, tell me about it.

Fluttershy lowered herself onto the sofa, her tired muscles doing all they could to object. Only her wings felt truly awake; a classic fight/flight response in Pegasi.

“It’s just that…”

She hesitated. This was such a rare occurrence when Fluttershy talked to any of her animals that the rapid tap tap of the rabbit’s foot ceased in shock.

“You know I’ve never really talked to you about it before. It’s been… hard. I mean… I’m falling.”

She paused and took a breath to steady her voice.

“I know it’s the day I got my cutie mark, but it’s wrong. There’s darkness and it’s foreboding, as if what’s about to happen is bad, or a mistake, or something…”

She trailed off again.

What do you think it means?

“I was hoping that you could tell me.”

Angel shrugged. Sorry, I’m just a rabbit. I have about 20 IQ points to work with.

Fluttershy sighed and furrowed her brow.

“I guess… I’ve always wondered what my life would have been like if I had never come down here and never met any of you. What happened was an accident and it so easily could have been different. I can’t believe my life would have been better; just… altered. Sometimes I wish I knew, so I could have no regrets. That’s what I think my dream means.”

A sheepish smile played about her lips as she realised how daft she was being.

“My life is great though and I have everything I could ever want. Wondering what might have been? That’s just silly, isn’t it?”

_______________________________________________________________________________

Oh
What a magical place
And I owe it all
To the Pegasus race

Fluttershy flew, forelegs pointed forwards like a diver as she eked out the final possible bit of speed that a more streamlined figure could grant her. The rainbow tail ahead of her was getting closer and closer. Her eyes were brimming with tears from the wind that whipped her face, but she ignored them, so focused was she on her quarry.

Pinkie Pie bounced happily below, humming to herself a song about making people smile. It was a work in progress, but she was quite pleased with how it was turning out. The noise of the two Pegasi streaking over above her made her head shoot upwards in time for her to observe the blue and yellow blurs of her friends almost side by side. Then the wind that was the result of them displacing huge quantities of air slammed into her, almost blowing the Earth pony over.

Above, Rainbow Dash glanced back over her shoulder and knew she’d won. Just. With a final burst of speed she pulled slightly further ahead of Fluttershy and slammed through the cloud that marked the finish to their race, the usually cotton like texture of the cumulus feeling altogether more solid at speed. Pulling up and landing lightly upon another cloud, she greeted her rival.

“Almost had me that time Fluttershy!”

“Just saving my energy for the trials Dash. I won’t go so easy on you tomorrow.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Fluttershy was always so competitive that it was a little much, even for her. She tried to diffuse the tension and be the bigger pony. For once.

“We’ll see about that Fluttershy. I bet you’ll give me a good race. You never know though, the Wonderbolts could be impressed enough to put both of us on their shortlist for the Young Fliers competition, no matter what happens.”

With a nonchalant flap of her wings the pink maned Pegasus lifted into the air and regarded Rainbow with cool annoyance.

“Your getaways could use some work. I’ve seen fillies move faster than that.”

So saying, she flew away back towards Cloudsdale.

Rainbow sighed. Fluttershy was a nice pony, but she hated losing too much. Rainbow had never thought such a thing would be possible until Fluttershy had taken up racing. She knew it was her fault though; Fluttershy had been so impressed by Rainbow’s speed after she’d defended the yellow Pegasus’ honour that she’d been inspired to concentrate solely on flying. This ultra-competitive pony was the result of that.

Still, maybe if Rainbow could beat her in the trials tomorrow it’d take her down a peg or too and remind her that you could still have fun without winning, once you got over the disappointment. Shaking her head, she too set off for home.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Fluttershy flew, forelegs pointed forwards like a diver as she eked out the final possible bit of speed that a more streamlined figure could grant her. The rainbow tail ahead of her was getting closer and closer. Her eyes were brimming with tears from the wind that whipped her face, but she ignored them, so focused was she on her quarry.

This time it was for real. With Spitfire looking on and a place on the shortlist for the Young Fliers competition on the line, Fluttershy knew she had to win. Only Rainbow stood in her way, and she was running out of time to overtake her rival. She’d never live it down it if, after all her boasting, Rainbow was to win this race.

She was running out of time.

Being a good sport, being a good pony, being kind, all her natural instincts were overridden. With a start she realised that winning the race didn’t even matter, just so long as Rainbow Dash didn’t.

A terrible accident they would say afterwards. The two ponies had been jostling for position when they’d collided. At such high speeds the damage to flesh and bone had been catastrophic.

_______________________________________________________________________________

If I knew the ground
Had so much up its sleeve
I’d have come here sooner
And never leave

Fluttershy jerked awake. She was lying, curled on the sofa, Angel beside her with his small paws resting protectively against her. The candle had burned its way down to a small nub and gone out.

Fluttershy ran a hoof over her face. Two nightmares in one night wasn’t a record for her, but generally they weren’t as vivid as that. She sighed and fidgeted into a more comfortable position, before closing her eyes. Would that really have been what she could have been like? Could she ever have been that different? So different that she could have killed… She couldn’t finish that thought.

Dream-Fluttershy hadn’t meant to do something so drastic. She’d intended to pull Rainbow Dash back and literally claw her way into the lead, or else put Rainbow off. Fluttershy remembered how important it had been to her in the dream to win and to stop Dash from winning, how justified her actions had felt to her. She shivered; thinking of the dream scared her.

That was the person she could have been. Fluttershy felt with absolute conviction that the events of the day she’d got her cutie mark had shaped her into the person she was. There was no point doubting and questioning who she was and wondering who she might have been. She was happy; she had amazing friends and a brilliant life.

As the first rays of Celestia’s dawn crept through the window and into the living room, Fluttershy smiled and sang softly into the still room.

“Yes I love everything”

The End