Jeeves and Twilight

by cyberlord4444

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1242

When Twilight got her castle, she was woefully unprepared for just how big it was. Luckily, Celestia was, and sent her someone to help, and he's a real marvel.

When Twilight got her new castle, she had no idea just how big it was, there are 3 separate ballrooms just to start. Luckily, Princess Celestia did, and had the foresight to send some help. It might only be one pony, but he's definitely a real marvel.

Set directly after Castle Sweet Castle

Based primarily on the British TV show Jeeves and Wooster.

Currently a One-Shot, but more chapters may be added depending on interest.
Due to popular demand, more chapters shall be written.

13/09/2016 This got on the popular stories tab, I'm honored.

Published 2016-09-13 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-13 01:40:01 UTC

I Understand You Required a Valet

Twilight groaned, "Just how big is this place?"

"Don't look at me," said Spike, "I've been sticking to the main hallways so I don't get lost"

Twilight frowned, when she first got her new castle, she'd been rather ecstatic, then remorseful as she missed the old library. Thanks to her friends, she now felt comfortable in it, at least the parts that she'd explored anyway. The parts that she and Spike lived in, including their rooms, the main library, kitchen, dining room and ballroom, the Cutie Map chamber, a few various miscellaneous rooms, and the hallways connecting them, only accounted for 5% of the entire castle at most. There were literally dozens of other rooms, including 2 other ballrooms, 4 more kitchens, including one specifically meant for baking that Pinkie simply adored, and indoor pool with attached spa, and that was only the parts she and Spike had explored. While initially confused as to why it was so big, she discovered that the whole castle was enchanted so that it was bigger on the inside. While she had determined that is was generated by certain blue crystals, she was unable to study it further as keeping the castle clean was next to impossible, even with Spike's help and every cleaning spell she could bring to bear.

As she was considering using the spells she used on Tirek to take care of the dust, Spike belched up a letter. "Thank Faust, I needed a distraction," she said as she grabbed it in her magic and began to read.

Dear Princess Twilight

I apologize for taking so long, but I would like to give you a castlewarming gift. While you might not be ready to take on all the responsibilities of being a princess, I'm sure you've discovered by now that taking care of a castle isn't something that even an alicorn can accomplish on their own. As such, I've taken the liberty of contacting the same agency I use when hiring my own staff. So as not to overwhelm you, I've only asked them to send 1, but rest assured that whoever they send will be more than up to the task. And don't worry about their pay, it will be automatically deducted from your share of the tax revenue.

Sincerely yours, Princess Celestia.

PS. Yes you are getting a share of the taxes, have been ever since your coronation. No, it's not an exorbitant amount, 10% of the total after paying for social services, fire departments, libraries, those sort of thing. Your usual stipend has been coming out of that, and the rest has been deposited in your royal account.

PPS. Yes you have a royal account, you'll get your bank card when you're ready for it.

PPPS. Don't worry, our sister chose a good one, you shan't be disappointed - Luna.

"Huh," said Spike, "wonder who it's gonna be?"

Just then, they heard a knock on the door. "Looks like we're about to find out," Twilight said.

As they opened the door, they saw a white unicorn with a brown close cropped mane, a dark colored suit and bowler hat, and a cutie mark of a silver covered serving dish. "Hello ma'am, my name is Jeeves, I've been sent by the agency. I was given to understand that you required a valet," he said as he doffed his hat.

"Err... yes?" Twilight said uncertainly.

"Very good ma'am," Jeeves said as he walked in, "the Princess mentioned you were unused to having one."

"That's an understatement," Twilight said as Spike walked up.

"Listen pal, Celestia might have sent you to help out, but I'm still Twilight's number 1 assistant, got it?"

"That I do, I was informed of the situation before I set out," Jeeves said as he walked off.

"So, what do you think of Mr valid?" asked Spike.

"It's valet," Twilight said, "and Celestia sent him to help out. And if Celestia sent him, she could be testing me on being a princess, after all princesses have loads of staff they have to manage. And if I can't use him effectively, Princess Celestia might take away my wings, or maybe my horn. What if she takes away my magic because I'm a bad princess!?!?!?!?!?"

"Relax Twilight, now where'd he get off to? I think he was heading towards the sitting room."

"The sitting room? THE SITTING ROOM! The sitting rooms a mess!"

As Twilight dashed into the sitting room, she couldn't believe her eyes. No less than 5 minutes ago, the sitting room was a mess. Various pieces of furniture were coated in at least a half inch of dust, and the contents of several cabinets were strewn about. Now, there wasn't a speck of dust to bee seen, and everything was in it's proper place, save for a few pieces that Jeeves was using to mix a drink. "If the lady would like a drink," Jeeves said as he held his mixture up in his magic.

Twilight just stared for a few seconds before snatching the drink and shooting it down. As it hit her tongue, she immediately felt much calmer, "What is this?"

"A little concoction of my own invention, I'm told it works wonders on the nerves," Jeeves said as he started putting away the bottles he was using.

Spike whistled, "Man, I've never seen something bring her out of one of her episodes that fast, I don't suppose you'd mind sharing?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to divulge the ingredients," Jeeves said.

"What, is it a trade secret or something?"

"That it is sir," Jeeves said, "if there's nothing else, I would like to get settled in."

Twilight chuckled slightly, "Well, about that..."

"Ah yes, I had heard of the peculiarities regarding this castle's construction," Jeeves said, "I take it you have yet to produce a complete map of the premises?"

"Not for lack of trying," Spike said as he pulled out the map he and Twilight had made so far. A significant chunk of it was marked 'Yet to be explored'.

"Oh dear," Jeeves said, "if I may be so bold, might I recommend that I perform a full inventory before beginning my regular duties?"

"Sure, that sounds as good a plan as any," Twilight sighed.

"Very good ma'am," Jeeves said as his horn started glowing. After his eyes darted left to right for a few seconds, he walked off.

"Wonder where he's off too?" Spike wondered aloud.

Shrugging, Twilight followed him. After walking for a bit, Jeeves and Twilight arrived at a hallway that was slightly less opulent than the rest.

"It appears that we have located the servant's quarters," Jeeves said as he opened one of the doors, revealing a bedroom about the size of Twilight's old library room.

"How did you..."

"Mapping spell that I was provided with alongside my assignment," Jeeves said as he opened the window and levitated a small suitcase through it, "unfortunately it only granted me the size of the rooms, but it was nothing that some deductive reasoning couldn't overcome. If you wish to examine it, I still have it."

Twilight's mouth hung open for a few seconds, luckily Jeeves' drink was still in her system preventing it from going any further, "You're quite a marvel, and yes, I would like to see that map."

"Very good ma'am."