Autumn: lots to talk about
The sound of the birds engaging in the dawn chorus seemed almost surreal as Discord lay in bed with his arm around Fluttershy. They were both exhausted and suffering from the after effects of adrenaline rush. It had been a stressful night. In the space of just a few hours, Discord had gone from thinking Fluttershy had been using him all along, to being trapped in a cage with a crystal of order in his leg, to finding out Fluttershy was never against him, to enduring a terrifying half hour where he thought Fluttershy might be killed. Then he had come face to face with his previous lover and had been so overwhelmed by everything he had barely said anything to her.
For her part, Fluttershy had worried that she’d never see Discord again, had been chased by a big, beefy centaur and had a knife held to her throat by Snare.
Both of them had practically collapsed, Fluttershy’s legs going wobbly when she finally realized she and Discord were safe.
After the departure of the Princesses, Fluttershy was having trouble standing up. Discord had scooped her up in his arms, bid good morning to the others, and teleported her back to the cottage.
Then his own comedown from the adrenaline had hit him, and a bleary-eyed Fluttershy had suggested they go straight upstairs to bed.
Discord pressed his face against the soft pillows and duvet, pulling the pegasus up towards his chest, and holding her tight. He felt exhausted but too wired to sleep.
“Fluttershy?”
“Mmm?”
“Fluttershy, is this real?”
She sat up slowly. “What do you mean?”
“Us. Is this…? I want to be sure.”
She smiled softly. “Of course it’s real.”
He hesitated. It seemed he wanted to say more.
“What’s wrong, Discord?”
He sighed. “It’s just…I’m not used to this.” His paw ran gently across her face, and he pushed a strand of mane behind her ear.
She wondered if he was referring to the fact that he had been alone for so long.
“It was weird seeing Celestia again, now that I have my memories back.”
A thought occurred to Fluttershy. One that made her heart twinge slightly, and she felt guilty for even feeling that way. She wondered if that was the reason he was hesitant.
“What happened in your memories?”
“Do we need to talk about that?
“N-no…I just thought you might want to.”
“Not particularly. It wasn’t pleasant.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Heh. Don’t be. It’s not the worst of it.”
She tilted her head and looked at him with worried eyebrows. To her surprise, she saw moisture forming in Discord’s eyes.
“I’ve done terrible things, Fluttershy. Awful things…I…”
“Shhh,” she whispered softly, and placed her hoof on his lips. “It’s okay. We don’t need to talk about it.”
“But you don’t get it. You’d want nothing to do with me if you knew what I’d done. It would hurt you.”
“I already know some things about your past. Like I said: that was then, this is now. It’s a new beginning and we don’t have to dwell on it.” She ran her hoof gently down his cheek and muzzle.
“I don’t deserve you.”
She looked at him sadly. “Are you saying you don’t want this…?”
“No, I do. It’s just…it can’t be real. I mean, Celestia…”
She felt a twinge again. She hated herself slightly as she asked: “do you…still love her?”
A wry chuckle came from the draconequus. “That train sailed long ago. I think we stopped loving each other long before what happened with the crystal. Obviously, she retained some fondness for me because she didn’t have me killed, but..I’m over it. Besides…” He sighed deeply. “I have something else to focus on. But like I said, I don’t know if she’s real. I screwed up once with someone, and I have a deep feeling I’ll screw up again.”
“ Princess Celestia wouldn't kill anyone, Discord. Believe me. Please also believe me when I say I’m real and I do want you here with me. I know your mind is telling you to jump the gun and sabotage something that makes you happy, but believe me, it’s lying to you.” She moved forward and her arms came up around his neck. She saw the tears begin to trickle down his face.
“Don’t cry.”
He sobbed. Her asking him not to cry sent a wave of tenderness through him. She cared so much. She was such a lovely pony. He was a dirty old draconequus who had let ponies suffer and die. He had messed up a relationship he once had and he wasn’t used to feeling balanced or whole. The balanced thing he could put down to chaos…but the other…
“Why…?” he croaked between tears.
“Because you’re a good person. You may not think that right now, and we’ve had a rough night, but you are. You’re funny, and sweet and brave, and things are different now. I fell for you because of who you are now. We can…take things slow if you need to. If you still want to…that is.”
His paw ran gently through her mane.
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m just scared…”
Discord wasn’t used to laying himself open this way. But she was all he had in the world. At least, it felt that way. He was still getting to know Twilight and the others. Plus Fluttershy had never mocked him when he was open with her. His raw, open wounds could easily be poked and made to feel agony by others, which was why he was so caustic with people, but she was gentle with him.
“I was scared last night,” she said, resting her head on his chest. “I was really worried about you.” He held her tightly.
“That’s it…that’s the thing,” he sniffled.
“What is?”
“I was scared I lost you. And it really hurt. I’m afraid if you leave me it will hurt that bad again. I don't ever want to feel that again.”
She sat up again and looked at the tearful draconequus. “I’m not going to leave you. But I think you also need to make more friends. You’ve been getting to know the others, and I know it’s early days, but I do think you need more people around you. I’m not going to leave you, but I can’t be the only thing you rely on. We discussed this that day in the field. It was why I was initially reluctant to pursue this relationship. But I think you can still be independent of me if you need to be. And I think that's best.”
“So…you’re not going to leave me…?”
She smiled softly and wondered if that was the only part of what she had just told him he had listened to. No matter. There was plenty of time for him to get to know the others. He had made great progress while living under her roof, and she was sure he would continue to do so.
“I’m not. But we’ve both had a rough night.” She moved to the bedside cabinet and pulled out the top drawer. “Here,” she said, handing him a handkerchief.
He wiped his face, while still sniffling. His eyes were redder than usual.
He was so cocky in public. She couldn’t help but feel surprised at how easily he seemed to fall to pieces. She realized she was still the only pony he trusted and her heart broke for him a little.
“Discord, let’s get some sleep.”
He gulped in air, trying to calm himself. “Okay,” he said finally.
She nuzzled against his chest feathers and wrapped her arm around him again. Slowly, he brought his arms up and gently held her. His eyelids grew heavy, and his body and mind finally succumbed to slumber.
When he awoke she wasn’t there and his heart almost immediately felt panic.
Don’t yell for her. Don’t yell for her. He tried to calm himself down. He heard the downstairs door open and shut and he relaxed a little but still felt tense. He heard the sound of her hoofsteps coming up the stairs and she pushed the door open.
Fluttershy took in the scene. Discord was sitting upright and he sighed deeply as she came in.
“I went to feed the chickens,” she explained.
“Right, the chickens,” he said, burying his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy. You must think I’m completely cuckoo.”
She climbed back onto the bed. “I don’t, but I still think you need to try to relax. Would a bath help?”
He cocked his ears at her suggestion. “Good point. It’s not like we didn’t get muddy and dirty through last night.”
“Then let’s have a bath together.”
Despite himself, he felt a pleasant twinge go through him at the thought of bathing with Fluttershy. Thoughts of their lovemaking the night before slowly came back to him. He hadn’t felt something that good in hundreds of years. He had missed being with a mare.
Fluttershy led him to the bathroom and began running the hot tap. She poured in the lavender bubble bath and turned to Discord, smiling softly. She was surprised to see an intense, hopeful look in his eyes. Hmmm. Maybe there was more than one way to get him to relax. She felt herself blush and ran some colder water so the bath wouldn’t be scalding.
Discord came up behind her and began rubbing her shoulders.
“Mmm. I thought you were the one who needed a massage.”
“We can take turns,” he purred in her ear, nuzzling the velvet fur behind it and sending shivers of want through her.
“Sounds good.” She climbed into the tub. The water felt so good and her body seemed to drink in the heat hungrily. Discord climbed in after her, his long tail hanging out the side of the bath.
The hot water did indeed feel amazing as it soaked between his feathers, but he was focusing mostly on the mare in front of him. His paw ran itself over her soft chest fur as he gazed at her with half-lidded eyes. Then she reached up and her lips met his. He groaned, all the tension in his back releasing itself as their tongues explored each other’s hot mouths. He lay back in the tub, pulling her on top of him.
“Shy…shy…” he whispered, as she took the lead.
They had eventually moved to the bed, as bathtub sex was slightly uncomfortable. Discord needed her badly. He needed to lose himself in ecstasy; in her. As for Fluttershy, she felt all the tension melt away from her as she rode on top of him. Discord was at her mercy, and she had to admit she enjoyed the feeling of him whimpering and reacting to her movements as she lost herself in pleasure.
When his release came, Fluttershy almost started at the hundreds of flowers instantaneously blooming at once in her bedroom. The sweet smell of orchids and jasmine filled the air.
“Discord…what…”
He tried to catch his breath. “Eh?” He looked around and laughed. “I guess I released a bit of chaos too.” He looked up at her and softly ran his paws over her hips. “Lucky it wasn’t something like piranhas.”
“Could that happen?”
“Nah. Stuff like that would only happen if I was upset.” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “And believe me, there was nothing upsetting about that, my dearie.”
She smiled. He seemed to be coming back to his old self.
“Can we keep the flowers for now?”
“Sure. Maybe your rhino beetles would like them. As for me…I’m starving. Shall we dine?” He rolled over while still holding her, causing her to squeak, and he was silent for a beat as he peered down at her.
“I love you, Shy,” he said softly.
She felt her heart bloom with joy. It was the first time he had said that to her. She had known it before, of course, when he had told her his feelings for her were mutual, but she also knew that was kind of a roundabout way of saying it while not saying it; a way to protect his heart, just in case.
Clearly, he felt safe enough with her now to say it. She kissed his snout. “I love you t–”
There was a clanging sound from downstairs, as Angel Bunny bashed his tin dish against the floor. “Oh dear, sounds like someone else is hungry."
She got up and began to get off the bed. A gentle yet strong paw pulled her back onto the sheets and she giggled. "Discord, I know you want to cuddle, but I thought you said you were hungry."
"Ever hear of breakfast in bed?" He snapped his fingers and a tray of toast, croissants, eggs and a glass of orange juice appeared.
"Okay, but I really need to feed Angel. Then I'll be right back."
Discord wriggled onto his belly, looking at her with big eyes. "Promise?" He was being silly now rather than actually feeling insecure. She ran a wing softly under his chin, causing him to purr. "I'll be right back, and we can have breakfast...and maybe even some dessert." Her tail flicked at him flirtatiously.
After Angel Bunny had been fed, and they had finished their second round of lovemaking, Fluttershy suggested they go downstairs and sit in front of the fire. Autumn was in full swing, and the air was chilly now that the day was getting late. Discord lounged on the couch in a bath robe, a cup of cocoa in his talon, his feet curled up and his tail twitching contentedly as he watched Fluttershy reading a book on trees as she lay in front of the fireplace. His ferrets made happy noises as they rested on his shoulders. Angel Bunny snoozed next to the pegasus. Her fur seemed to glow in the light. She turned to face him and smiled warmly. He smiled back.
So, this was what being a person with something good in his life felt like. He could get used to it.
