I'm Telling You I Did!!!

by Inkwell Prose

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Spike, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1154

One day, Spike is summoned by Princess Celestia. He comes home one happy dragon ;)

After being summoned by Princess Celestia herself, Spike comes home ready to gloat about what happened during his visit. Sadly, nopony believes he managed to seduce the Princess. So Spike does anything and everything he can to try to convince his friends.

I'm so sorry I wrote this.

"Sex" tag for the plot.

Published 2016-09-12 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-12 13:10:01 UTC

I Had Sex With Her, I'm Not Lying!!

Spike ran quickly towards the castle looming above Ponyville. Why? He had something to tell his friends, and it was major. What had just happened with him and Celestia.. He couldn't believe it himself. Hopefully his friends would though. Spike reached the castle doors and busted through them with enough force to make him fall. The crash rang throughout the castle, and Spike's friends came running towards the doors to see what the commotion was.

When they got there, they saw Spike breathing heavily on the floor, not moving much. "What in the-" Twilight started, before Pinkie interrupted her.

"Spike!" She trotted up quickly and slammed on top of him. "What's wrong?! Are you breathing?! I don't think he's breathing!!" Pinkie Pie started to pound on Spike's chest, trying to revive him.

"P-Pinkie!" Spike sputtered out between chest hits. "I-I'm alright!"

Pinkie Pie gasps loudly, "He's alive!!" She picked him up and gave him a really tight hug. She let him go and Spike stumbled a bit before brushing himself off. "So what's up?" Pinkie asked, surprisingly more calm than her state only two seconds ago.

"Yeah, what is up Spike? Looks like you had something important to tell us or something, judging from the way you just crashed through the doors," Rainbow asked, trotting towards Spike with the rest of the Mane Six.

Spike regained his breath and started, "So I was summoned by Celestia as you all know and she said it was for 'important business' so I get there and all of a sudden we are having sex and guys I had sex with Celestia!" His friends stood there for a second, somewhat confused and amused by Spike's claims. Suddenly, the mares bust out into hysterical laughs, causing Spike's face to grow hot. "I-I'm telling the truth!"

"Oh, I'm sure you are darling," chimed Rarity between giggles.

"Yeah," adds Rainbow, "I'm surprised you even know what sex is," she spits before falling into another laughing fit. Spike was utterly embarrassed at this point. He did have sex with Celestia, and he wanted his friends to believe him.

"I'll prove I did!" Spike roars at his friends.

"And how in the hay are ya gonna do that now?" asked Applejack.

Spike thought for a moment, then spoke, "Twilight, summon Celestia here. She will tell you. She won't lie." Spike commands, tugging at her leg.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight pulled out her quill and parchment. "Spike, there is no way that you two had relations of any kind, so I don't see the poi-"

"Just do it! I'm telling you I did! She will say the same!" Giving a noticeably annoyed sigh, Twilight scribbled onto the parchment and gave it to Spike, who in turn sent it to Celestia with his fire breath. Everyone was quiet for a moment, and it was rather awkward. Eventually, the door opened and Celestia came walking through towards them.

"Hello, my little ponies. Is there a problem here?" she asks, her voice smooth and calm.

Twilight was about to speak before Spike ran up and interrupted her. Twilight was starting to get annoyed by the interruptions. "Princess! Please tell them we had sex! They don't believe me!" Spike said, leaving Celestia stunned. Her face goes completely red, and the mares all tilted their heads, confused by the loss of words from Celestia. "Please just tell them so they believe me," Spike begged.

"Is it true, Princess?" Twilight asks.

Celestia look around the room, somewhat trying to avoid answering. But she gives in, giving a slight sigh. "It's quite possible that Spike and I had intimate relations just a few hours ago.." Celestia admits, sending Spike into an eruption of 'yes's' and 'I told you so's' towards his friends. The girls were at a loss for words now. Spike.. and Celestia.. What?!

"Now why in the realm of Equestria did you do that for?" asked Twilight, still reeling at the thought of those two in the same bed doing.. that.

Celestia cleared her throat and began, "Well I was in that certain mood, but in the mood for something different. You see, whenever I have to urge to have sex, I just call upon one of my guards to help me out. They are usually more than happy to comply and make love to me. Today, however, I was craving something a little... different, so I thought to myself, 'why not summon a dragon?' Since Spike is the only dragon I'm particularly close to, he was the lucky winner." Spike stood next to her, feeling rather accomplished of himself. The girls, however, felt sick to their stomachs at the idea.

"T-That's um... Wow um.." Twilight couldn't really think of much to say.

"Told you guys I had sex with her," chimed Spike, smirking.

"And honestly I would do it again. I rather enjoyed myself," Celestia said, giving Spike a wink. "Maybe you should try it someday, Twilight. I mean, you already write about it in your diary."

Twilight's face went from lavender to maroon in the blink of an eye. "I-I do not!" Twilight retorted, defending herself.

Celestia just giggled happily, "Of course you don't Twilight. But now that this is all cleared up, I must be going. You know, Princess business and stuff." She turned and flew out the door, leaving the room rather silent.

"So wait," Rainbow started, finally breaking the silence, "you actually managed to seduce Princess Celestia?" Spike nodded and Rainbow shivered at the thought.

"Told you guys I wasn't lying," Spike said before leaving the room, leaving the girls in a state of shock, disbelief, and wonder. So Spike wasn't lying. Princess Celestia admitted it herself. Was it really that good though? Good enough to tell Twilight to try it? She had to find out. 'Later', she thought. She would find out later.

Spike was writing everything that had happened today in his journal. From the time he woke up, to when he was summoned by Celestia, what happened with that, and even when he was trying to convince his friends about it. He didn't leave out much detail and had a lot of trouble trying to focus as he wrote. He couldn't get his mind off of today, and he probably wouldn't for a while.

Spike looked up as he heard Twilight calling for him. He marked the place in his journal and ventured out to Twilight's room. She called again as he opened her bedroom door. "Yeah Twili-" Spike saw her in a rather.. compromising position. "Twilight?.." Spike asked.

"I-I need you, Spike. I need you bad," Twilight said, presenting herself to him. Spike thought for a moment. Two Princesses in one day? Spike could get used to this. Licking his lips, he closes the door behind him and lets himself appease Twilight's needs. Wait until the girls heard about this.