Two Thousand Fluttershys Can't Be Wrong
Twilight Sparkle came to a halt in Ponyville’s bustling marketplace in order to read the large banner up ahead. “HERO’S DAY!” it read, in big block letters, accompanied by a half-dozen crudely drawn hearts and rainbows around its edges.
Twilight tilted her head and placed her grocery bags on the ground. “I don’t recall hearing about that.”
“Twilight! Twilight Sparkle! Thank Celestia I found you!”
Twilight turned to discover Mayor Mare hurrying up to her, face flushed and panting.
Mayor Mare directed a hoof to the banner. “Hero’s Day! I’m sorry I didn’t prepare for it before now, but rest assured, Twilight; whatever you need, you’ll get. Just say the words. Magic or not. Equestria’s heroes deserve a day to call their own! No doubt about that!”
Twilight could only shake her head from side to side, her stomach dropping as she did. “But I didn’t put that banner up, Mrs. Mare. I thought you might have. Actually, I have no idea what Hero’s Day even is at all.”
Mayor Mare’s mouth hung open. “Then what in Equestria is Hero’s Day? And who’s it even for?”
As if preciously on cue, a haunting voice from the other end of the street proclaimed: “Happy Hero’s Day, simpletons of Ponyville!”
Both Twilight Sparkle and Mayor Mare jolted from the sight as they turned. It appeared as if Queen Chrysalis and her nearly four thousand drones took up close to half of Ponyville alone. Chrysalis’ entire hive must’ve been in attendance that day.
But wasn’t there something off about them? And with Chrysalis, too?
Twilight would have to ponder on that once the danger was clear. All she knew for sure was that she had to act. And act fast!
The ripe tomato Twilight had bought from the marketplace mashed against Queen Chrysalis’ forehead the moment it hit, as did the half-dozen cupcakes and four oranges inside Twilight’s shopping bag. Only when Twilight was completely out of produce to lob in her direction did one of Chrysalis’ drones pull out a small dish clothe and begin clearing away the mess on their Queen’s face.
Chrysalis’ tight smirk never left her lips. “Finished, Princess? Or do you only need more time to purchase additional things to throw in my face?”
Twilight stomped a hoof as her horn began to charge. “Don’t think you have us outnumbered, Chrysalis! Why, I could have Princess Celestia and Luna here in less than ten minutes flat! I would know! I do fake alarms every six weeks to time them!”
Snorting, Chrysalis went on to inform her bluntly, “In no way is this some form of invasion, Twilight, so stop with the theatrics right this instant. We are only here for Hero’s Day. Can’t you tell?”
Reaching above her head, Chrysalis playfully yanked on her oversized cowboy hat and jostled her yellow-colored wig. It was only when Twilight noticed the hoof drawn apple trio cutie mark on Chrysalis’ butt that she took a step back and gasped.
“Wait. You’re Applejack?”
Chrysalis tipped her hat in Twilight’s direction. “Howdy.”
One of Chrysalis’ drones leapt into the air to whisper something important into her ear.
“Sugarcube,” Chrysalis finished with an annoyed sigh.
“Okay. So why are you dressed up like Applejack?” Twilight asked.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I just told you—because it’s Hero’s Day! A day when all the villains in Equestria get to dress up as their favorite heroes and go around demanding treats.”
Twilight pursed her lips. “And what happens if we don’t actually have any treats to give to you?”
“Then we attack and leave not a single building in this town left standing or not on fire,” Chrysalis replied evenly. “But, thankfully, our demands are simple. All my children want is a little bit of affection. A little love. So go and fork it over before I start getting mad.”
While their Queen spoke, three of her children anxiously shuffled up to Twilight with their hooves upraised. It didn’t take Twilight long to figure out which ponies each of them was supposed to be. And completely gush at the sight.
“So I take it you’re Sweetie Belle… and you’re Apple Bloom… and you’re another Sweetie Belle? No one wanted to come as Scootaloo?”
The three changelings shook their heads.
“Ouch.” Twilight took a moment to chew on her tongue. “I’ll have to make sure Scootaloo doesn’t hear about this.” She then knelt down and wrapped a leg around the closest changeling at hoof, who instantly buried themselves into her shoulder while squealing with delight.
“See?” Chrysalis spoke, as Twilight went on to embrace the remaining pair. “Not so hard is it? My children have always been telling me we don’t do enough activities together as a family.”
After embracing the final changeling (and then prying them off of her), Twilight faced the Queen again. “I still don’t understand any of this. Where did this Hero’s Day event even come from?”
“From Nightmare Night, of course.” Chrysalis flashed her sharp fangs. “A night where all the ponies in Equestria dress up as their favorite monster or villain while receiving sweets and merriment in return? It only seemed fitting that once a year the tables were turned and all those you dressed up as get to do the same—dress up as our favorite hero while receiving treats. Plus, one of my children saw a foal Trick or Treating last Nightmare Night and became incredibly jealous, so it only felt fair to give them something close to the same. Only in this case it’s not Trick or Treat, but Love or Death.”
“And you came dressed up as Applejack. So you actually like Applejack?” Twilight asked surprised.
Chrysalis hesitated a moment. “Truth be told, I absolutely loathe every single one of you, but if I had to choose which one of you makes me the least sick, it would be that apple-addicted friend of yours. She reminds me of myself, in a way—dedicated to the family, strong willed. It also gave me a valid reason to wear a hat today. I like hats.” She gave Twilight a half-sided grin. “Disappointed I didn’t come as you, Princess?”
Twilight barked out a laugh. “As if! I’m, like, totally all right with that. Umm… I’m sure I was runner-up, though.”
Chrysalis shook her head. “Nope.”
“Top five?” Twilight asked meekly.
“Don’t go making this any more awkward than it needs to be.”
Twilight halted her current line of questioning to lean to the side of Queen Chrysalis and get a clear view around her. In the vast sea of children changelings currently clogging up half the town, she could make out around a hundred Cutie Mark Crusaders, a couple dozen more Applejacks, Pinkie Pies, and Rainbow Dashes, a smattering of Twilight Sparkles and Daring Dos, and perhaps a single Rarity in the bunch.
And over two thousand Fluttershys.
Chrysalis caught her peeking. “We robbed over two dozen wig stores on the way over here. Also a paint store. As you can plainly tell, your quiet butterfly friend won the heroes poll quite easily.”
Twilight felt she had to ask. “But why not make it simpler on yourselves and just transform into the pony you wanted to dress up as?”
“Seriously?” Chrysalis growled. “We already do that every day of the year. It’s Hero’s Day, for the Many-Faced God’s sake! It’s a special occasion! So is Ponyville going to hoof over the love my children so desperately require or are things going to go down a much darker path here today?”
“Well…” Twilight scratched her chin with a hoof. “All your children want is a little bit of affection? I really can’t see that being too much trouble. And I must admit they do look pretty cute all dressed up and everything.”
“Splendid.” Chrysalis whirled back to her army-sized batch of costumed drones. “You heard the mare! Have at it, my children! Enjoy your first Hero’s Day as best you can!”
All at once the thousands of changelings dispersed, heading in all directions across Ponyville screaming “Love or Death!” as loudly as they could.
On the downside, it took close to fifteen minutes before the screams around town stopped and all residents were properly informed of the situation. Following that, most took to the hugging of the costumed changelings rather well.
Together, Twilight and Chrysalis watched the events unfold. After a few tense moments, Twilight asked her, “So Hero’s Day? Weird concept. How’d you even come up with it?”
That got Chrysalis chuckling. “You actually believe I was the one responsible for this? I’m just using this opportunity to get my children some much needed food without confrontation. A normal pony would have to be completely demented to come up with something as stupid as reverse Nightmare Night.”
Twilight’s pupils shrunk. “So you’re telling me it was—”
***
“Discord!” Celestia roared, as she watched the Spirit of Chaos casually stroll up the castle hall toward her. “Did you have anything to do with this Hero’s Day event currently going on in Ponyville?”
Luna took a solid stance beside her sister, open letter held out in her aura. “We have received word of thousands of changeling drones demanding hugs from all of Ponyville’s citizens. Thus far, any pony that has refused their demands has had their homes ferociously egged and toilet-papered. Repeatedly.”
Discord stopped before them with his hands on his hips. “Sorry. Haven’t heard of it. Sounds like an awful lot of fun, though.”
Celestia glared at him. “You do realize you’re currently dressed up as me, right?”
As if coming out of a dream, Discord shook himself awake and began fumbling at the hovering mane and tail clearly attached to his torso, as well as the brand new unicorn horn and sparkling tiara atop his head.
He slapped his face with his claws. “Oh, yes! It is Hero’s Day, isn’t it? I thought you said Zero’s Day for some reason.” He did a little twirl, showcasing his halfhearted costume. “Like the getup? I was thinking of painting my face white, but thought that might only end up triggering some ponies. White face doesn’t really float anymore. Too many P.C. ponies nowadays, if you ask me.”
“P.C. ponies?” Luna asked.
“Pushover-Crybabies,” Discord generously explained.
“But,” Celestia began, seemingly uneasy about what she had to say next, “from what Twilight’s letter explained—all villains in the land are dressing up as their favorite hero for the occasion. So does that mean that I’m somehow your favorite hero?”
Discord waved a bit of hovering mane out of his eyes. “But of course you’re my favorite hero, Celestia! You thought there’d be anyone else I’d rather be today?”
Celestia grimaced at that. “I think I’ll wait until after the punch line before I—”
“I mean, what other hero in history has been so easy to defeat? Makes things much easier for the bad guys to win when you’re around.”
Celestia sighed. “And there drops the second horseshoe.”
“I also had the wig already in stock,” Discord continued, as he leisurely strolled around the hall. “And I knew if I wanted to go as Luna, I’d have to lose some weight first, so that was definitely out of the question.”
Celestia turned to her sister. “You know what I miss? That awesome dragon statue we used to have in the garden. I remember I used to sit outside for hours just admiring it.”
Waving his claws, Discord told her snidely, “Don’t bother with any petty pony threats, Celestia. They’ve never been your strong suit. And everyone knows you only came to visit my statue so you could break wind when no one was around.”
Luna surprised them all by rushing forward and jamming the tip of her horn against Discord’s throat. “You will insult my sister no more, Discord! State your business and then be on your way!”
“My business?” Discord giggled richly. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s Hero’s Day! So that means it’s time for some good ol’ fashioned Trick or Treating!”
“So you want candy, then?” Celestia asked tiredly. “I’m sure there’s some candy around the castle somewhere here you can take.”
Discord busily stroked at his beard. “I was thinking about something a little… bigger, actually.”
“Two pieces of candy?” Luna suggested.
Discord’s shark-like smile told them that also wouldn’t do.
***
“Give me just one reason not to kill you where you stand,” Shining Armor bellowed down from the safety of his Crystal Empire balcony. “Just one reason, Sombra.”
Several stories below, King Sombra sluggishly glanced from side to side before peering back up to him. At that present moment, there was exactly one hundred and twenty guards surrounding him—all with sharpened swords or spears directed toward his eyeballs and buttocks.
Sombra shrugged. “Because it’s Hero’s Day?”
“I don’t care if it’s National King Sombra Appreciation Day! Under no circumstances are you getting in here!” Shining leaned further over the railing to try and see exactly what Sombra had on. It clearly wasn’t what he normally wore. “And whatever you’re wearing makes you look ridiculous!”
Sombra smiled thinly. “Well, I am dressed up as you.”
Up on the balcony, Princess Cadence tapped Shining on the shoulder. “I just received this letter from Ponyville explaining all about Hero’s Day. It sounds pretty harmless, really. Queen Chrysalis’ entire hive entered Ponyville and left without a fuss. All they seemed to have done is hug the entire town six times over while wearing cute, little costumes.”
Shining’s upper lip curled. “So King Sombra came all the way here to get some hugs? I am definitely not volunteering for that.”
Cadence shook her head. “It’s basically like reverse Nightmare Night. Technically, all these villains are doing right now is Trick or Treating. Or their version of Trick or Treating.”
Shining leaned over the balcony again. “So if we give you candy, you’ll go away?”
“Got any black licorice?” Sombra replied.
“Black licorice was outlawed two years ago. What else do you want so you’ll leave us alone?”
Sombra smiled wide. “How about a tour? It’s been a while since I’ve seen my old Empire.”
Sighing miserably, Shining ordered the guards to stand down. “Let’s just get this over with.”
***
“And as you can plainly see… this is the second floor study… and the second floor guards’ room… and the second floor mess hall…”
Shining Armor led Princess Cadence and ex-King Sombra around the inner workings of the Crystal Empire tower. Trying to hurry things along as fast as he could, Shining barely nudged open a single door before moving on to the next.
“And, of course, that brings us to the second floor bathroom.”
Sombra stuck his head inside the room. “Ah-yes. The second floor bathroom. Just as I remembered it.”
Sombra’s overall coolness to the entire state of things made Shining want to slug him in the jaw. Or perhaps it was Sombra’s costume that was doing it—red and gold button-up shirt with a blue sash across the chest. Sombra had even dyed the tips of his mane a royal blue color for added effect. He hadn’t forgotten Shining Armor’s trademark cutie mark, either.
Shining leveled a hoof in Sombra’s direction. “Just why did you have to dress up as me? Don’t you realize how creepy that is?”
Again, Sombra shrugged. “But it’s Hero’s Day, Shining! Would you rather have me dressing up as your sister or one of her friends?” He shook his head. “I don’t think anyone wants to see that. And, besides, the rules of Hero’s Day state that all villains dress up as their favorite hero—and my favorite hero just so happens to be you!”
Cadence whispered to Shining, “Wait for the punch line.”
“What other hero in Equestria actually throws his own wife at the threat instead of dealing with it himself? Or is that just how you get her to do things around here? How often do you throw her at the dishes these days? I could go on about how often you get humiliated and defeated every chance you get only to be saved by that younger sister of yours, but… oh, look at that. I just did!”
From down the hall came the sounds of a wailing baby. All three of them turned to the noise.
Sombra’s eyes opened wide. “Could that be a baby perchance? Oh, this I must see!”
Before the other two could react, Sombra bolted away from them and stormed in the direction of the nursery. Both Shining and Cadence managed to fire off a bolt of colorful energy, but both merely singed the tips of Sombra’s tail and head.
By the time they entered the nursery, Sombra was already hovering over the crib with a big goofy grin plastered to his face. “A mare. Pink. With both wings and a horn. Looks like she takes after mommy. Thank the Dark Lord down below for that!”
Inside the crib, Flurry Heart held out both forelegs toward him. “D-d-daddee?” she gurgled out adorably.
“Why, yes, sweetie,” Sombra cooed back. “It is your daddy; back from his extended holiday at last.”
Sombra glanced back at Cadence with a sigh. “Must be hard growing up without a masculine figure in her life. But there’s still time to trade up, Cadence. Why, give me a few minutes to stretch and I’m sure I could throw you clear across the Empire.”
Sadly, it wasn’t Cadence that was picked up and thrown a great distance the very next moment.
Incased in a magical aura, Sombra was lifted up off the ground before being slammed into the corner of the room head first. When it was all over, Shining gently blew on the tip of his smoking horn.
“I can’t believe Flurry Heart’s first words were to you,” Shining growled. “Tell me why I shouldn’t destroy you once and for all right now? And don’t you dare going using this Hero’s Day thing as an excuse.”
Sombra grunted as he painfully got back to his hooves. “Maybe because I’m completely hornless?” He tapped at what remained of his horn—less than a third of its original length. “By the way… haven’t seen a red chunk of horn lying around the place, have you? Only asking for a friend.”
Regretfully, it was only moments later that King Sombra’s brief tour of the Crystal Empire came to an end, as he received a breathtaking aerial view of the entire city.
Shining Armor always had been great at throwing things vast distances.
***
“No throne?” Queen Chrysalis asked the moment King Sombra limped his way into their secret base. “Here I was expecting Discord to screw things up.”
Sombra narrowed his eyes at her. “I got a little cocky, all right? One too many Shining Armor jokes, perhaps. You’d think that stallion’s never been made fun of before!” He glanced around the darkened room, counting the number of thrones as he did. “Nine thrones? How did you possibly get so many?”
Chrysalis leaned back in her chair—which was actually Applejack’s personal throne from Twilight’s castle. “Easy, really. While Twilight Sparkle was distracted by my thousands of hug-hungry children, I took the time to break inside her castle and steal them all. Since you didn’t get a throne of your own… I could always offer you Spike’s. Granted, it’s a little smaller than the rest.”
Sombra frowned. “I wouldn’t even use that throne as a hoofrest. And what of the other two thrones?”
“Celestia’s and Luna’s,” Chrysalis replied. “Discord simply asked for them in exchange for leaving them alone. They got like a hundred extra of each in storage.”
“Upon reflection, I probably should have just done the same,” Sombra admitted. “But, alas, we have all successfully completed stage one of Discord’s three stage master plan. Meaning that all that remains now is: question mark, question mark, question mark before complete and utter world domination.”
Chrysalis pondered on that. “I always wondered what all those question marks stood for. Hopefully nothing too important.”
That was when Discord made his grand entrance into the room, clad in a garish tropical shirt and black shades. “Oh, good. You’re back. Get me some more thrones?”
“Afraid not,” Sombra grumbled out. “There were… complications.”
“Really?” Discord lifted his shades up. “What’s so complicated about getting your butt handed over to you? Anyways, you both did just as you were told and did admirably. But I really must be going now. I’m attending a picnic with Fluttershy this afternoon and would hate to arrive on time. I’m supposed to bring the table and chairs this time around.”
Closing her eyes, Chrysalis circled a hoof around her temple. “Please don’t tell me that was the whole reason for today’s made up Hero’s Day—so you could get a few more chairs for your stupid picnic!”
“What else was I supposed to do?” Discord asked dumbfounded. “Buy new chairs? Do you have any idea how expensive chairs are these days? You really must not be right in the head, Chrysalis.”
“I dyed my mane and tail and dressed up like a wimp for nothing!?” Sombra snapped. “Flurry Heart was right in front of me for the Dark Lord’s sake! I could’ve at least attempted a kidnapping! I knew I should’ve remained in that blackened abyss called death instead of coming back here.”
Chrysalis cocked a brow. “Blackened abyss? What’s even in there?”
“Seventy-two virgin mares.”
“Must be nice for you.”
Sombra frowned even harder than before. “Sadly, it’s not. No one has any clue what they’re doing.”
Discord—thankfully—ended that conversation. “Would it make you two feel any better if I invited you to the picnic? You’ll need to bring a dish to share, of course. Anything gluten free should do the trick.”
“I’ve really come to hate Hero’s Day,” Chrysalis grumbled out, before she politely ordered her entire hive to swarm on Discord all at once. Obviously, she knew it would be of little good considering how hard it was to actually murder a draconequus. Yet still, it made her smile. And perhaps that would be enough.
It wasn’t everyday that two thousand changelings dressed up as Fluttershy collectively attempted to bite off Discord’s head.
All while chanting “Yay!” to boot.
Author's Note
Bits deleted:
Luna dressing up as herself before being told she couldn't do that. So she comes back in a giant cardboard moon costume.
Thorax dressed up as Spike.
