A Grounded Rainbow: rewrite

Rainbow Dash streaked through the skies, practicing her stunts to impress the Wonder bolts at the upcoming young flyers competition. She began picking up speed for her next trick slowly approaching an appropriate speed to perform the feat. Suddenly her wings froze leaving her with nearly virtually no control, already going at breakneck speeds the ground was getting closer and closer ‘this is going to hurt’ she closed her eyes and held her breath a mere second before her body crashed into the hard earth.

Rainbow Dash awoke with a groan the bright lights of the hospital room forcing her to squint while her eyes adjusted, she couldn’t quite remember why she was in the hospital all she could remember was practicing, but that’s usually how these things went. As her eyes adjusted she saw five familiar, miserable ponies.

“Hey guys” Rainbow Dash said happy to see her friends. Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Twilight all looked at her, Pinkie pie’s mane had deflated and she couldn’t bear looking at the cyan peuguses. “Something wrong?” Dash was concerned now ‘why are they still sad I’m fine.’ The sudden realization that maybe she wasn’t fine hit her like a truck “wh-what happened” only Applejack wasn't crying at this point.

“Dash y-you…” Applejack paused and looked away as the tears started to fall, “Ahi cain’t.”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t holf out any longer, she burst into tears, “Is this some kind of joke wh-whats wrong with me, WHY WON’T you just tell me?!” Dash screamed as the tears rolled off her cheeks onto the hospital bed sheets, Applejack bit her lip and stared at the cold hospital floor tears obscuring her vision. “PLEASE JUST SAY IT!”

“Rainbow Dash.” Nurse Redheart was standing in the door way preparing to tell Rainbow Dash what exactly is wrong. She cleared her throat and entred the room, she was used to giving bad news but it never made it any easier, “You..” Redheart swallowed hard, “you have a rare genetic disorder it..” she broke eye contact before she uttered those five terrible words “you will never fly again, I’m sorry.” Redheart left without even glancing at the poor mare, shattering ponies’ dreams was the worst thing about being a nurse.

Dash was in shock the crying had stopped, only the soft sobs of her friends filled the air. "I.. but.." Dash swallowed, 'this must just be a bad dream.' Dash looked around at all of her friends and smiled."Don't worry guys I'll wakeup in a second."

NOTE. criticism welcome please point out any errors I have made.