Allow your undying thirst for enthusing action and nail-biting drama be quenched by the ferocious adventures of the Appleack, a cowgirl of such immense size and strength that she starkly inspires deep awe and fear into the cholesterol-clogged hearts of her hapless antagonists. Be amazed as your tireless organs of sight opens your inquisitive mind up to lavish prose which depicts your favorite soil-sewing farmer hewing her foes in chunky sprays of glimmering crimson fluid; your mouth contorting to a sadistic grin of knowing mirth at the mental image of the orange human's enemies falling to the stygian blackness of death.

(An Equestria Girls adaptation of The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis. The vast majority of these story elements are not my own; names are changed to avoid plagiarism and to adapt the story to My Little Pony. Please support the original product.)