You walk into the small building, it wasn’t much, but it’s home. You hear your roommate, Vinyl Scratch, blasting some new dubstep she made.
“Fucking DJ .” You think to yourself. You walk into your room, chucking your bag next to the small bed. “ What to do?” You ask no one in particular.
You are Anonymous, first and only human in Equestria. When you first arrived some weird shit happened, to say the least. First, some night themed horse tried to fuck you, then you pushed royal pain in the ass in the face and lost twenty five dollars in a wired poker game.
“That was a weird day” You say aloud. The bass from Vinyl’s music started to shake the wall. “Oh, for god sake!” You shout, picking up your own guitar, it was pricey, but after 2 months at Berry punch’s pub, You could spluge a bit.
“Now this is music, bitch!” You started to shred on your axe, Playing some sick rock and roll, you start to sing along to the music.
“If I am the king, then why does no one bow to me?" by hate."
"If I'm a queen then where is my kingdom?." Vinyl slid into the room, only wearing her shades, per the norm, and what you could only assume were pony panties.
"We're dreaming this life away.
We aren't royalty
We're just madmen
Kissing the reaper
Goodbye to the popularity
Goodbye to everyone
And everything
You go all in for the solo, riping your shirt off to feel awesome. Aw the song comes to a close,
“ Living our lives a-way” You start to slow down on the shredding. thanks
You and Vinyl sink up your voices “In a world so very mad.” Vinyl runs to her room to grab something, her bass guitar, you hoped.
“ Alright, you want to jam?” You hear from just outside your door.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this…” You think to yourself.
“Then let’s jam, cocksucker!” She jumps into the room starting to play some of old school rock.
“Fuck yeah!” Okay now, see, you and Vinyl are in a love-hate relationship. She hates you sometimes, you hate her sometimes. But no matter what, you two are always down to jam out!
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“That was fucking nuts!” You shout at Vinyl.
“Hell yeah, Anon” Vinyl says in a much more silent voice. “Fist me.” Vinyl brings up her fore-hoof. You lightly tap your fist against it.
“Yup, I’m going out.” You jump up off the bed, slipping on your shirt, do to the fact that during a hardcore solo, you took off your shirt to feel more awesome.
“Alright, could you grab some chips?” Vinyl asked, downing the last of the chips.
“
Jeez, you go through more of those then you do toilet paper and underwear,” You say, with cuckle at the end “but okay.”
“H-Hey,” she starts to blush running a hoof over her stomach “I don’t eat that many!”
“ If you say so.” You shrug lightly “See ya later, slut.”
“Fuck off cock hole!” She shouts at you as you leave the apartment.
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“Is there anything else you’ll be needing today, Anon?” Mrs.Cake asks as she pushes the small bag with cupcakes and donuts to you.
“Nope, I‘m not trying to get Vinyl any bigger.” you and her share a chuckle.
“Anon, is that you?” You hear the last headache you wanted to hear.
“Oh, goddamn it,” You think to yourself “, hello Pinkie.” as you turn around and you regret it.
“Hug time!”
“No, don’t do it!”
“Imma hug you!”
“Do NOT hug the Anon!”
You get glomped anyway.
“Hugs are fun!”
“I can't breath y… you bitch!” You needing oxygen badly.
“Yoops” Pinkie says with child like innocence,”hehe, sorry Anon.” She drops from around your neck.
“Yoops, my sweet ass” you mumble under your breath. “Yelp, it was fun, but I’ve got to go.” you dust off your pants of sprinkles and confetti.
“Can I come Anon?” Pinkie asks with the same damn smile on her face.
“No, you need to umm….” You begin to think of something “oh, Mayor Mare needs a new holiday name, go help her.” It seemed legit, as Pinkie ran away like you were the Reaper of Death.
"Where did this confetti come from?" I ask aloud.
"Best not to ask, deary" Mrs.Cake says.
"Welp, off to get food stuffs."
"Stay safe."
"_I'll try to."
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You walk up the road spotting a familiar face, “Octavia, hey.” you wave your hand to get her attention.
“Oh, ‘ello Anon, How’s it goin’?” Her accent was always rather cute to you.
“Pretty good” You mirror her accent, much to her misfortune, “ You?”
“I told you not to do that.”
“But it’s funny to see you get all angry, it’s cute.” You say, making her tilt her head.
“What?” Octavia asks you.
“Umm…. Sorry to cut this short, got to go” You blert, running away. “I love you.”
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“Vinyl, I’m home!” you yell into the house, blinded by the paper bags you hold in front of your face.
“Oh shit, Tavi, get your clothes on.” you hear from the back of the house, “ Okay, I’ll stall him.”
“Huh, guess no one’s home, welp, imma snack out in my undies.” You laugh on the inside as you sit the food and such on the counter top. picking up the Sugar Cube Corner bag.
“ Okay, Okay, but we’ll need to be quiet.” You hear the familiar voice of Octavia, followed by a moan from
Vinyl “No quieter .” Then nothing, “that’ll work”
You shrug and drop your pants and start to eat a donut, “Fucking Dj, and stealing the one i wanted to be my girlfriend” you think once more, a frown appearing on your face.
Your eyes open slowly as you hear Vinyl saying your name quietly
"Yo, Anon, wake up dude."
You grumble at her to leave you be.
"Anonymous, wake up." She says in a normal volume.
"Fuck off."
"WAKE THE HELL UP AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS!" Vinyl shouts out at your face.
"Jesus Christ, calm your tits," you begin to rub the sleep out of your eyes", what's the big deal? You've seen me in my undies before."
"But I doubt Octavia has."
You panic, forgetting that they had been fucking in the back bedroom. "Oh, is she coming over soon?" Even though you and Vinyl were very close, you could still lie to her.
"Umm, yeah, really soon so you go make yourself look presentable." She, however, couldn't lie to begin with.
"Okay, I'll pop out of the cake in a bikini, you give her the lap dance."
"Shut up and get dressed."
___________________________________________________
You finished combing your hair back as you heard Octavia's voice whisper "That was the plan! You could have said anything else. You know I hate lying to him, I want me and him to be friends."
That last word. Friends. Not even close to what you want to be to her.
You walk out of your room with a frown upon your lips. "I'm going for a walk."
"Oh, Anonymous, I didn't know you were here." Octavia looks up at you with a little frown.
"Neither of you can lie." You tell her off. Vinyl looks at.you as you go to the door, picking up wallet and keys on the way to the door.
"Dude, what's up with you?" Vinyl asks you right before you slam the door.
All you can muster up is: "Fuck off, DJ."
_________________________________________________________________________
The door to Berry's Pub opens as you apply pressure on it. The only ponies inside were Berry herself and a brown coated stallion in the back.
"Hey Anon, you look like shit, you okay?"
"No, give me 2 shots of whiskey and a tall glass of beer."
"Mare problems?" She asks as she fills the glasses with the liquor that you asked for.
"You have no idea. I've been trying to tell her then suddenly my roomie says' Fuck[
you, I want some ass, dibs. ."
"Here, it's on the house, sounds like you need some good fortune today."
"Thanks Berry. What do you think I should," you knock down one of the shots "do?"
"Well," she knocks a shot of her own down, " write her a song. That's how Colgate got me. It wasn't a great song, but it was make with love."
"You are a genius! She loves music, a song is the perfect thing for her. Thanks again Berry, for the drinks." You slam the whole beer and take the other shot. " She's gonna be singing my name by Monday."
"No problem man, now you go tell that cellist how you feel about her!"
"Wait.... I never said I was talking about Octavia, how did you know?"
"I just do, the bartender knows all." Berry gave me that shit eating grin, she then downed another shot of whiskey.
"You drink too much, girl." You give her a disapproving finger wag.
"Fuck you, you never give me any scotch that you hide."
"Berry, go lie down. You're shifting into drunk."
"Okkkkay, but only if you flash me~." Berry often asked this of you, and you reply with no, but today, you wanted her to be as sober as possible. She never idmits that she has a problem, but you try and help her to cut back.
"Fine, if it'll make you go to sleep for a bit." You put your thumbs in you waist band and lower your pants as for her to see some of your manhood.
"Wooooooo, that's the good shit mannnnn!"
"I'll see you around Berry."
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You walk into a small pawn shop that went by the name "The Grab Bag". It had many things to buy and you can pawn anything that isn't illegal. You start to look at the instruments section, looking at several guitars.
"Anon, vhat are you lookin' for? A new gituar?"
"Hey Hard Shot, how's it hangin?"
"Good, are you looking or are cou buying?"
" I'm seeing if you still have... Here!" You pick up a Acoustic guitar, running your hand up and down the instrument. "How much?"
"143 Bits. 160 with a vorranty." He states simply. You pull out your wallet, fishing for the needed bits.
"Here you are, my good man"
"You are 2 bits short." You fish out 2 more bits, putting them on top of the pile.
"I'm glad you have this gutair still. I'll see you around, mate."
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You turn the key to your apartment. Nothing. It's just the sound of the heating that goes into your ears. With a small sigh, you sit down. The guitar sit across your lap. You dig under the table in front of you. A blue flooder finds its way to your hands. There is only one song inside. A song that you had never forget, because of the origins of it paper and music.
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