The Conversion Bureau: The Palladium Wings

The Conversion Bureau: The Palladium Wings

Chapter 9

A Meal and a Poem

“Wake up Human.” A voice called.

The Russian man groaned as he slowly opened his eyes.   Gasping, he got up and looked around. Patting his clothes, he found nothing.

“Looking for these?” A unicorn levitated a combat knife and a Makarov pistol. “Well now that you see them, you can’t have them back. Where you are going, they’re not needed. You’re going to be the special guest of the Princesses. They are just curious in meeting you.”

Grozny shot the unicorn a defiant look.

“We’re entering Canterlot Airspace!” A voice in the PA said. “ETA! 10 minutes!”

“Get ready human, and when the Princess asks you to bow, you will bow.”

10 years ago… 10 years ago

You and your precious Elements of Harmony saw us die and suffer as many were converted to your kind.  10 years ago, I was kicked out my own home to accommodate the Colonizer and the Newfoal.  10 years ago, you stood there watching us die and SMILED.  In the Moscow Bureau… you were there… smiling as many were stripped of their humanity… you were enjoying everything and your Elements DID nothing.

And your precious pony numbers increased, kicking out many natives out of their lands.  You are no better than the Nazis or the Mongols.

The airship docked in Canterlot. The man was dragged out of the airship. Up ahead was the Princesses themselves. Lowering his head, the angry thoughts continued. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of a look.

Look at them, the tyrants themselves. They must enjoy all the pleasures of the globe while out there, the rest suffer through famine and hunger.  But once the maps have been distributed, destruction will rain from the skies.

“Ah, the human I heard about.” Celestia said.  “Come now, look at me in the eyes.”

Whatever you do, avoid looking at her. Rumor goes she is capable of stealing your soul.

“My  my,” Celestia clicked. “Such horrible rumors your kind spreads about me. Oh don’t worry, I don’t steal souls nor eat them. That would fall on Luna, she’s the one who steals them in the dark of night.”

Luna’s nostrils flared. “Sister!”

“Oh I am just kidding Luna, everyone knows stealing souls is a hard and near-impossible act of dark magic.” The angel white alicorn said with a sly smile.  “But we won’t be cruel to you human, not yet. For you have what I need.”

“Whatever you plan to get, you aren’t getting it.” Grozny shot.

“If the No Quarter Squad brought you to me, then you must be of relative importance.” Celestia countered. The alicorn then gave a faux embarrassed face. “Oh my, where are our manners? You must be starving. Lunch will be ready soon.” She glared at the Russian. “You will accept our invitation, will you?”

Grozny stayed quiet.

“Take him to the Dining Hall, but don’t be too rough on him.” Celestia took off.

Luna followed.

Grozny was sat down by a Guardspony.

The two Princesses sat down. Servant ponies brought in the meals and poured tea into the cups.  It was nothing but vegetarian. Not a single morsel of meat or fish to accompany this.  The tea could be drugged with either the dreaded serum or some sort of truth formula.  His GRU Spetsnaz training kicked in, along with the horrible memories of the 2nd Chechen War.  Being fed contaminated food to being beat up with anything… it was a miracle that he was still breathing.

“Not hungry?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“You think I am stupid?” Grozny laughed. “After enduring the tortures of the Second Chechen War, I have my doubts that eating what’s right in front of me will either turn me into a pony or spill out every single information that’s in my mind.”

“I can assure you that there’s nothing wrong with the food.” Celestia countered with a motherly tone.

“You may have fooled many to convert.” Grozny grinned. “But you can’t fool an Ex-Spetsnaz. I may look old but I know the essentials when I served.” He cackled for a while, then gave a serious face. “That motherly tone of yours, you use it to hide the truth, the same tone you used to have many convert and when your fleet moved to my world.”

Celestia gave a angry face.

“I read your bluff.” He got up. “But I had my fun here, thank you for providing me with a small bit of intelligence.”

Two Earth Pony Guards came into view.

The man picked up the fork and the knife and twirled them. “Do you really think you can defeat a Ex-Spetsnaz?” Looking at the two, he got into a defensive pose.  “Whatever training you got in Close Quarters Combat will be worthless once I wipe the floor with the sukas you call Princesses.”

The two ponies gave each other looks.

“Suka means bitch in my language.” Grozny gave a dark smile.

The two Earth Ponies began to approach the man.

The man moved away and jumped to the table. “Too slow.” Picking up the cup of tea, he threw it towards the Guards.

The hot liquid made the guard scream in pain. “MY EYES!”

The other one got ready to tackle the man off the table.

Grozny jumped and landed on the pony’s back. The Earth Pony began to move, trying to shake him off.  Pulling out the knife, he lunged it deep into his throat. Pushing it deeper, the Guard began to choke. Violent wheezes escaped his mouth while the knife was being pushed further.  The hand quickly pulled out the simple table blade, the pony dropped with a pool of blood forming near his corpse.

“He’s…amazing…” Luna commented, her eyes staring in awe at the human.

Approaching the screaming guard, his hands wrapped around the pony’s head. “When you get to Hell, say hi to the ones I killed for me.”

What the Princesses saw next was shocking.

SNAP!

The Guardspony’s neck was twisted to a full 360 degrees. The face was one of horror and pain, the eyes were devoid of all life as they stared at them. The head spinned back to its original position, hitting the floor seconds later.

Grozny dusted his hands off.

“GUARDS!” Celestia barked. “SEIZE THE HUMAN AND CAUSE HIM PAIN!”

Several Guardsponies bursted through the door.

Grozny got in an offensive stand. They all carried pikes, sabers, and shields.  The pike-totting ones were not a concern, the ones with the curved blades were.  The shielded ones could ram him into submission if not careful with how he moved.  Motioning his hand to come get him, the ones totting the swords rushed to him.

Several necks were quickly snapped.

Luna gasped.

Picking the sword, he gave a yell as he slashed their bodies. Blood flew all over the dining hall, tainting the food with its crimson presence.  The man looked at the guards with shields, they were all unicorns, just the saber-totting ones.  Three ponies with pikes began to look at the fight.

The Unicorns began their ramming attacks.

Grozny jumped to the table and rammed the long curved blade into one of the guards. The rest began to counter by blocking the incoming blade attacks.  Seeing their ploy, a scream escaped him as his leg kicked the shield off. The unicorn guard panicked. “Game over pal.” The blade cut the horn off.

“Princess….Celestia…” The Unicorn died.

“NOOOO! RAM SHIELD!” The unicorn rammed the man.

“You…fucking….pony!” Grozny got up, giving a savage smile. Grabbing the sword, he slowly walked towards the pony. As the shield was held up, he kicked it off. “Those who provoke the wrath of Children of Russia will see their wrath.” Grabbing the mane, he thrusted the blade into the guard’s throat. Pulling it out seconds later, he looked at the bloody blade. The Pike Guards got ready for combat. He just smiled.

Luna was curious of the man’s next move.

Putting the blade near his mouth, his tongue licked it. “Tasty.” He looked at the next attackers. “Come after my blood, I will make you choke on ours.” He said. “But now, because I feel generous enough, I propose this:  Leave now and have your lives spared. If you do fight me, I will kill you in the most violent way beyond any wild imagination.”

The guards murmured between themselves.

“Think of it. Leave and you will spared, your families will be happy to see you. Think of the life ahead of you. What you saw is enough to drive you to the brink of insanity. All the blood, the death, too much for your virginal minds.” The man added. “Attack me and I will show you what violence really means. I have over a million ways to kill you and I will not show any mercy when you beg for it.”

“Guards! Get the human!”

The ponies left, not wanting to be killed in such a horrible way.

With a smile, a dropped saber was picked up.

The sabers were hurled towards Celestia.

As the sharp blades flew, a golden aura stopped them.

Grozny saluted them as he dashed for the door. Shouts were heard across the palace, ranging from orders to panic. Hearing the sounds of water rushing up ahead, he kicked the door open. He stopped. The whole room was nothing but a cave with waterwheels all over the place.  Reaching the edge, he could see that the waterfall lead to down below.

Several hoofsteps were heard.

“Human!” Celestia’s voice boomed. “Come with us and I may show you leniency. I have questions to ask you.”

“Stop! You don’t know what you’re doing!” Luna exclaimed. “You have my word that my Sister will not hurt you… please… stop.”

Grozny looked at Luna in the eyes. He smiled.

Luna gave a confused look.

That which rises from the blue surface of the waters

Luna began to glow an angelic white.

Celestia felt shocked. How did he know the Poem of the Moon? Her mind flashed HER! That traitorous love-spreading alicorn she called a niece! That poem has been passed for millennia only when a threat to Equestria could not be purified with the Elements. How could she give this filthy human the mystical words!?

The angel that looms in the endless sea of stars

Who opens an eye on the world during the dark skies

And shines the light that guides the foal back to her mother

A blue beam was fired into the skies.  The moon of Counter-Earth began to approach the sun. The moon stopped and began cover Equestria in darkness.

“You…” Celestia gave a frustrated scowl. “How DARE you recite those words!"

A long smile of satisfaction plastered on Grozny’s face.

May our Serenity last forever

And long live the Princess of the Night

Whose night allows the world to rest and rejuvenate

With that said, the man jumped down to wherever the waterfall would guide him.