Bush Whacker

As far as Bush Whacker is usually concerned the Everfree Forest provides for him when it comes to life's basics, though when his friends are busy at school or unavailable it does little to relieve his boredom. Grabbing his bags, he decided there’s still one place he has a friend or two. Walking through Ponyville is something Bush Whacker has always enjoyed, everypony, whether they knew him or not always smiled warmly as he passed, some faces he would recognize as ones who lost their way in the forest and he always made sure to smile back and wave. After only a few minutes walk he reached his destination and pulled open the door.

Hearing the door open the mulberry mare at the bar turned to face the new customer as she repeated her mantra. “Welcome to the Cloven Hoof Bar and- oh, hey Bush Whacker have a seat.”

“Hey Berry.” Bush Whacker smiled and waved slightly as he took his spot at the bar, Berry Punch resting her forehooves on it opposite to him. “Could I get a lemon-limeade and a roasted apple please?”

“Absolutely,” The mare moved to go for just a second before stopping and turning back to the stallion. “I know you probably get this a lot Bush and I already said it but thanks again for finding my sister… I don’t want to…”

Bush Whacker raised a hoof to silence the trailing off bartender. “We’ve been through this already Berry, it’s fine, she’s ok now, she knows not to do that again. Your gratitude is welcome, though I think you’ve made that known. It’s just my job.”

“That’s not how a lot of others see it.” She quickly cleared her throat after saying that, shifting the conversation. “Anyway what brings you in here? Aren’t you usually with your friends?”

“Yeah. But Starsoul, Char Opal, Flood Plain and Wombo-Combo are all at school, Vapor Wave works late, and Short Circuit has been out of contact recently, I think she also got a job.”

“Ah, so you’re lonely then.”

“Well we’re getting together tomorrow night for a game but yeah… I guess I’m a little lonely and came to the bar.” Bush Whacker retorted with a playful and joking tone at the end.

“You know what you need Bush?”

“What? What do I- oh no.”

“You need a marefriend.”

“Berry, I don’t exactly live in the best location to date somepony. I don’t want to have to go to their rescue when they get lost just for a visit. Besides, I live my job the same as you do.” He pointed towards the stairs leading up in the back as he said this. “I love living out there, I doubt I’ll ever change it, though admittedly it isn’t without some issues.”

“That’s no problem, I know the perfect pony.”

The red stallion’s eyes shot open. “Berry no, we’ve talked-”

“Your neighbors with Fluttershy, kinda. Get her to introduce herself to that friend of hers. What was her name? Tree Hugger I think.”

Bush Whacker put his head in his hooves with a slight groan. “No.”

“Why not?” There was only the slightest hint of jest in Berry’s tone. “She loves nature, she’d gladly visit you out there. And besides, your name is Bush Whacker, part of your name is a plant. I bet she’d be into you.”

The pegasi’s hooves didn’t leave his face. “No, no thank you. I‘m sure she’s nice, really. But I don’t need my chakra’s realigned, or my soul straightened, or… whatever. We’ve talked a bit and I don’t think she’s my type.”

“Fine.” The mare’s voice had a heavier tone of jest before returning to normal. “What about Fluttershy, she’s single right?”

Bush Whacker’s face hit the bar with an audible thump and a mumbled groan into the hardwood.

“She loves woodland critters and knows her way around a bit. You could stay at her cottage sometimes without being too far away and she would probably love to spend time at your camp. She dog sits Back Up for you. I bet you’re the pegasus type too.”

“Berry.” His voice still muffled by the wood of the bar.

“Hmm.” She sounded almost proud of what she had done.

“I’ll forgive you if you change the drink to a cider, if I’m going to be here for a while I think I’m going to need it.”