Bush Whacker

Canterlot was never Bush Whacker’s kind of place. The uptight atmosphere, the countless restaurants that charge far too much for far too little, everypony trying to impress or one up each other. It may look beautiful and have some amazing views from above, but on the ground Bush Whacker is almost as out of his element as he could be. Very few things take Bush Whacker from Ponyville, his half-sisters happen to be four of them, especially for birthdays and today was Wishful Thinker's. It took him a little while to find the place but eventually he found the restaurant in question, the Food Prance. From the moment he stepped inside Bush Whacker’s senses were assaulted with the sights and smells of fresh baked bread and house made pasta, some for sale in the waiting area. The roof and floor were made of the same dark hardwood, the kind that lets others know when somepony is coming, live music could be heard coming from the dining room, the lights were dimmed just enough so menus could be read, and a coat rack was visible behind the hostess. ‘Oh goddesses, I am horribly underdressed for this.’

“Welcome to the Food Prance,” The light pink unicorn mare behind the podium greeted Bush Whacker warmly and with a smile that came from enjoying others company. “Will you be dining alone this evening?”

“Uhm, actually I’m here with the Wishful Thinker reservation.”

“Of course, right this way.”

The tables were hidden away in a corner, four of them pushed together to make room for the entire party. The table itself was next to a massive window overlooking the surrounding area, Ponyville could be seen in the far distance and just beyond it was that forest Bush Whacker called home, a small field of green in the distance. The windows also had a great view of Celestia’s setting sun and soon, Luna’s rising moon. ‘At least if conversation dies I have a view.’ Around the table were Loyal Heart, Dusty Gasket, one of Wishful Thinker’s uncles Bush Whacker didn’t know, Wishful Thinker diagonally across from a seat with his name on it, and her pegasus fiance’ Copper Badge, all wearing rather nice outfits and having had their manes done. Wishful Thinker rose to her hooves the moment she saw her younger brother approach and embraced him in a hug, it had been over a year since they last saw each other.

“Oh my goodness Bush Whacker, it’s so good to see you again little big brother!” The squealing in her voice was almost audible. “I don’t think you’ve met my Uncle on my mom’s side, this is Pious Hooves.”

“No, I haven’t, good to meet you sir. “

The older earth pony stallion simply nodded his head at Bush Whacker.

“Well, have a seat brother. How have you been?”

He sat down at his seat, thankfully next to Loyal Heart but across from two empty seats. “I’ve been good. Are there others coming?”

“Oh yeah just my best friend and her husband.”

Bush Whacker had barely picked up the menu before the waitress came over to take drink orders. ‘I can’t even name half of these, I’m not sure Berry Punch can either.’ His thoughts raced as he quickly looked for something familiar, finally spying something.

“And for you sir.”

“I’ll have a glass of Sweet Apple Acres Cider please.”

“Excellent, I’ll have those right out to you.”

Breathing out a slight breath Bush Whacker went back to the menu before being nudged in the side by his mother.

“You couldn’t have cleaned up a little nicer?” Her voice was barely audible to him, much less to any other pony at the table, all of whom were talking about Pious buying a second house in Coltorado.

“I didn’t realize I’d be coming to Canterlot today, and I don’t exactly have the best facilities to do it in.” He didn’t expect that answer to have worked with her but apparently it did as she jumped right back into the conversation leaving her son to look over the menu and try to find something. Most of the menu was filled with foods the pegasi had never heard of, much less had any idea how to eat except for one section. It was near the bottom of the page, a very small section but there, his favorite, hayburgers. They even had one with bleu cheese. Bush Whacker could feel his stomach growl at the words, his mind was made up, it may not be sophisticated but it’ll do. With the conversation still going though having moved to yet another topic he had little context for Bush Whacker turned his attention to the ever sinking sun, it felt like Celestia was teasing him, not letting him see one of his favorite sights just yet. A few more minute passed as he heard the sounds of hoof steps approaching and turned to look.

If Rarity didn’t design and create the outfits on those two she probably knew the pony who did. Their walk and way they held themselves was the kind that simply said ‘Money is no object.’ The lavender unicorn mare looked like she was about to go down a runway while the light tan earth pony stallion next to her looked about the same in his full suit.

“Wishful!” The lavender mare exclaimed as though she had not seen Bush Whacker’s sister in a lifetime.

“Precious Gem!” Wishful Thinker had the same tone in her voice, the two of them embracing in a tight hug and a small squee. Wishful turned her attention to Bush Whacker, still side-hugging the mare. “Brother this is Precious Gem and her husband, Gold Vein.” He couldn’t even get a hello in with this mare.

“You’re her younger brother?! Oh my goodness Wishful, he’s so tall.”

“I know, sit down, have a seat. How have you been?”

The waitress seemed to have chosen this moment to sneak up on the group with their drinks. As she set down Bush Whacker’s, which seemed to have come in a brandy sniffer, Gold Vein piped up.

“What do you have there? Bourbon? Bee’s nectar?”

“Just cider tonight, don’t know quite the reason for the glass.” Bush Whacker took the opportunity to have a sip of his drink, and got a hint of blueberry with the familiar apple flavor. ‘Applejack, if you’ve been hiding this from me, we’re gonna need to talk.’

“Ah, it’s too allow you to savor the scent of the drink. Quite kind of them really.”

After this was said Bush Whacker barely spoke at all. Much of the conversation seemed to have steered towards Wishful and Copper’s upcoming wedding. Loyal Heart giving her the speech about family traditions as the mother-in-law and about wedding plans as the pony behind the scheduling. Precious Gem chimed in about how they’ll need a shower, a bachelorette party, an after bachelorette party, and a day before party. This later devolved into their discussions about planning a “Flirty Thirty” party at some point soon. A few minutes later the waitress came back with a prepared speech about tonight’s specials that seemed to go on for two or three minutes. Once everypony had ordered and she had left Bush Whacker went back to watching the setting sun, now just touching beginning to sink below the horizon and turning the sky all manner of wonderful shades of red and orange.

“-been doing Bush Whacker?” Wishful’s voice could be heard just within his realm of attention, snapping him back to reality.

“Huh, what? I’m sorry I was… distracted. What were you saying?”

“How have your friend’s been doing?”

“Oh, they’re doing just fine. Most of them have gone back to school but Vapor Wave and Short Circuit got jobs nearby. We still hangout and talk and get with the others when we can.” He was trying so hard to turn the social part of his brain on, the part that can hear what anypony at a table is saying and have a witty retort ready at a moment's notice.

“That’s good, always nice to keep in contact with friends.” His sister wrapped a foreleg around Precious Gem’s shoulder, a gesture that was soon returned. “So what have you been up to? Still living in the Everfree?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Gold Vein nearly spat out his cocktail and his wife’s eye’s snapped between Wishful and Bush Whacker rapidly. “You live where?” The tan earth pony’s voice sounded as if he had heard Celestia had yet another sister.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you. He lives in the Everfree. He helps other ponies who go inside… tell them little brother.” Wishful only had a massive smile as she spoke while it was clear from the other two ponies’ faces that they could not believe what they were hearing.

“Yeah, I live in the Everfree Forest, it’s actually better than you would think. Every night has a clear view of Luna’s night sky and the fresh air just feels great.”

“Yes, but… Why live there my boy?” Gold Vein seemed to have regained control of his jaw, taking a moment to recompose himself. “Why not just live nearby? Or vacation there?”

“Well I work Search and Rescue. No matter how many times you tell a foal not to go in there will always be the dares, or a scared filly who runs away from bullies, or a little colt who just wants peace and decides to run away. Sometimes a pony falls and gets hurt while on a walk and no one is around to hear their cries for help. It’s my job to make sure they get home safe, to make sure they’re ok.”

“... So what’s it like out there? Do you have a house in the forest? How often does this kind of thing happen?” From the tone in her voice, it sounded like there would be no end to Precious Gem’s questions.

“On average, it only happens once or twice a month, but I’ve had as many as three or four. And no, I don’t live in a house. I have a clearing that I have set up as a camp, I use my tent as dry storage and spend every night looking up at the beautiful stars in the sky trying to find shapes and patterns among them. To be honest, it’s incredible out there, sure it has it’s dangers but the water is crystal clear and there are enough wild edibles out there that I never go hungry. It’s a kind of serenity I can’t describe. Besides, Fluttershy and Zecora are wonderful neighbors if I ever need anything.”

“Well I think that’s extremely noble of you Bush Whacker.” Seems it was Gold Vein’s turn again. “It isn’t the kind of life I would live but I’m glad somepony is.”

‘Finally, conversation I can be part of.’

“So what do you do for fun out there? Any hobbies?”

Even though his mane was still disheveled and he probably smelled of pine and oak, Bush Whacker was beginning to think a little less about how he didn’t fit in here as he and Gold seemed to continue talking about one thing or another as conversation at the table bounced back and forth between everypony. Going so far as to sing Happy Birthday when Wishful’s meal arrived with a candle in it. Bush Whacker took one last look out the window, finally seeing Luna’s moon begin to rise above the horizon as he focused back to the conversation at hand and gladly accepted a role in Wishful and Copper’s wedding as an usher.