Bush Whacker

When Bush Whacker wanted to sleep he wasn’t exactly the easiest to awaken, often sleeping ten hours or more and being awake for half again as long before repeating. Other than direct contact one of the few things that woke him was Celestia’s sun. The bright yellow light of noon shined down on the sleeping pegasus, slowly stirring him from his slumber. A long yawn escaped his mouth as he stretched his back against his sleeping log, multiple pops and cracks leaving his back. No matter the time he woke Bush Whacker’s routine was always the same, stretch, prepare his tea, take a wash in a nearby stream, and finally update his daily calendar.

“Aw, buck.” Notable emphasis was put on his curse as he saw the date, but more importantly, the print under it. Hearts and Hooves Day. “Nice job Bush Whacker,” The stallion spoke almost belittlingly to himself. “What is this now, two or three years you’ve forgotten? Smooth.”

When it came to holidays Bush Whacker usually loved them. During Hearthwarming he went to extremes at times to find that perfect gift for his friends to let them know how much they mean to him. During Nightmare Night he would turn the Everfree into his personal hunting grounds, playing games with other ponies to see who could escape him the longest. He loved almost all of them. Hearts and Hooves Day was never one he seemed to really get in the spirit of. Memories of his school days flashed through his mind, sure he got cards and the like from his classmates, as was standard. But while others were looking at the personal gifts some foals got each other, Bush Whacker simply made do with his lot, the standard fare, the kind you get for showing up. Truth be told, dating isn’t that easy when you live in a forest. Mares often don’t want to journey into it’s dark depths and he couldn’t blame them, the Everfree is dangerous. Just a simple visit would require a twenty minute walk through the forest, and that’s if they didn’t get lost. Not to mention the one marefriend he’d had broke it off years ago, the feelings were only one way. Bush Whacker knew he had to at least go into town today, last time he hid in the woods his friends kept asking where he was all day.

‘Maybe my luck will change and I’ll actually meet a somepony nice today.’ A small list forming in his head as he walked along the almost worn in path. ‘Doubt it though.’

As every time this holiday comes around, Ponyville was bustling with happy couples, more ponies than usual filling the streets. The park was littered with blankets, each with a couple sharing a picnic in the gorgeous weather. Restaurant windows showed the same thing at tables, as did Sugarcube Corner, even the stage in the town center was home to the musical couple of Octavia and Vinyl's impromptu concert.

‘I swear, every Hearts and Hooves Day the population of this place triples only for the day. Alright, let’s think.’ His slow walk now passing a familiar storefront, one with decor that belonged more in Canterlot than Ponyville. ‘What about the Elements? Well besides the fact that they are all out of my league.’ Bush Whacker took to the skies momentarily, his gaze sweeping across the town. ‘Pinkie Pie looks to be on a date with at least ten other ponies, no surprise there. Rarity is not only miles out of my league but she doesn’t seem the type to be interested in me, too clean. Twilight is a Princess now so no. Rainbow Dash is out in Cloudsdale. Applejack is probably, as usual, busy with the farm. Fluttershy… maybe, but Discord scares the Tartarus out of me.’ Slowly he descended back to the ground, resuming his walk through Ponyville so as not to look out of place, slowly approaching the town’s square.

‘Alright then. Who else? Tulip Blossom would probably say yes, she’s single… But that might get Tiger Lily’s hopes up, I can’t go out with her mom just because I’m lonely. I don’t know Starlight well enough yet… Maybe there’s somepony single around I recognize?’ The day held its trend, everypony Bush Whacker saw was holding hooves with or under the wing of another. With an exasperated sigh he continued on, moving slightly faster now, just above a walk, a speed nopony would really question. It was a pretty good day for a walk anyway and there’s a nice old tree that’s good to rest under just before the edge of town. As he got further away from the bustling streets he even saw Starsoul and Flood Plane out of the corner of his eye cuddled closely together near a small pond. ‘Damn it you two, stop being cute. Gonna get cavities with how sweet you two are.’

At last he reached the tree, he had napped under it a few times so ponies probably wouldn’t question him about lounging there and the nearest couple were a little ways away on a small hill. Resting flat against the ground with his gaze looking up through the leaves and branches, Bush Whacker closed his eyes and just let himself take in the now late afternoon sun, it would be dinner time before too long. His mind wandered once again from one thing to another until his trance like state was broken by the sound of somepony lying under the tree as well. ‘Plenty of room to go around, nice choice of spot.’

“Hey Bush.” A mare’s voice spoke up from about where he had heard the sound, her voice not only well known to Bush Whacker but the tone was like that of a casual greeting between friends.

‘Huh, well alright then.’ “Hey Berry.” Bush Whacker’s tone was a near identical match to hers.

“Where’s your ‘very special somepony’?”

“Nonexistent.” The pegasus replied with a slight chuckle, opening his eyes and moving slightly to see his bartender friend, alone. “Where’s yours?”

“Also nonexistent.”

“I thought you’d be running the Cloven Hoof all day, thought it’d be packed.”

“I didn’t open. Took the day off.” all throughout the conversation, neither pony had changed their tone.

‘Buck it.’ Bush Whacker stood up slowly, turning his full attention to the mulberry earth pony mare at his side, watching as she began to do the same. “Wanna get a drink or something to eat?”

“I’d love to. In fact,” Her tone changed slightly, getting a touch lower and quieter. “I have a bottle of riesling chilling in a bucket at the bar.”

Bush Whacker felt his face heat up just a bit before his face immediately contorted into one of slight confusion as he took a second to dig through his memories. “How did you know I like that wine? I’ve never ordered riesling.”

Berry Punch had already started walking back into town, Bush Whacker following next to her. “You have your mother’s sweet tooth Bush.”

His eyes darted around the sides of his vision, seemingly avoiding the mare to his side, his mind still sifting through memories of all the times he had been to Berry’s bar. “... You planned this, didn’t you?”