Of Ponies and Hybrids

Ugh… My aching everything… It feels like I got my ass torn apart by Groudon’s Precipice Blades or something. I groaned as I woke up, grasping my head to try and quell the pain however much I could. I was met with a surprise when I felt up there though. Firstly, my hands seemed to have turned flat and hard, and were missing their fingers. Secondly, my hair was never this long… or spikey. The fuck? Did I turn into some kind of deformed Super Saiyan?

When I opened my eyes to look at what my hand had become, I got a shock in the form of seeing… well…. Let’s just say having around ten eyes is freaky as hell. Okay… Definitely deformed in some way. Gonna be hard getting used to this many eyes.

In other news, the sight of my hand was about par for the course. And by that, I mean I was completely unsurprised to see a black and grey striped hoof. I deadpanned upon seeing it, using just my two largest eyes to see, rather than focusing on any of the others. “Okay, mutant pony. Not the worst thing I could have become.” Once again though, I find my attention drawn to yet another detail. My voice had a small hiss to it, and sounded very much like that of a female.

“...Surprise, surprise, I am a girl.” I muttered with a sigh. Guess I better check the equipment to confirm though. I have heard of Futas, and while I hope it’s not the case, I still need to confirm.

But the sight that greeted me surprised me beyond anything I could have imagined. “WHAT THE FUCK?! I’M A FUCKING SPIDER?!” Birds scrambled in panic at my scream, scaring me out of my shock and reminding me I should have checked my surroundings by now. Looking about cautiously, I found myself, ever so unsurprisingly, in the Everfree Forest.

“...Goddamn cliches. Well, at least this body’s a new thing.” I muttered, disheartened by appearing here. I moved to stand up though, and found my legs easier to use than I anticipated. Likely, I’ve been passed out long enough for the stuff to already have been wired into my brain. I looked more at myself once I’d stood up, giving my… abdomen, I think it’s called, a closer examination. On its end, as expected of a spider, was a spinnerette, with only the faintest sign of a bundled thread peaking out of it. In curiosity, I reached with my back two legs to start messing with the thread, but then I was interrupted by the sound of a twig snapping.

Turning, I saw an orange slime earth pony staring at me, being about the same size as a regular pony. I blinked in surprise, before rolling my eyes. “Oh, the great many wonders this world provides… Sometimes I wonder if someone’s trying too hard to surprise me.”

“Um, sorry about that, I didn’t mean to…” Wait, why is that voice and hairstyle so familiar?

“It’s fine… Though I think I recognise you from somewhere. Nice to meet you, the name’s… Uh…” I glanced around, looking for some kind of inspiration for a name. I’m normally pretty good with names… Aha! “Spinnerette. I’m Spinnerette.”

“Nice to meet you Spinnerette. Wait, why am I getting the vibe that I know you. You remind me of a friend of mine who really liked changelings that I used to play Starbound with. I believe his name was Switchlock.” Then it clicked on who this slime pony was.

“...Well now. I’m not sure if this is awkward, or what, but uh… That’s me.” I said, smiling a bit. I waved a bit, jumping on my assumption. “Hi, FC!”
He froze, then he proceeded to facehoof. “Well, at least I found someone familiar…And you’re probably thinking kinky thoughts about me being a slime pony and what I could do to you.”

“Some, but I’m a bit more worried about my fat ass.” I joked, shaking my abdomen a bit. “I mean, look at this thing! I could knock over a Taco Bell sign with it!”

“I doubt that...You don’t have buns of steel like Derpy.” He joked back. I chuckled a bit, stopping the shaking of my ass.

“Hehehe… So uh… What now?” I asked, cluelessly.

“Maybe go towards Ponyville, but not enter, like stay near the edges of the Everfree. I mean, we both have forms that don’t exactly scream ‘friendly’. Maybe catch up a bit with each other, since so far, I have had one heck of start. Not to mention the fact that scream I heard from you would make Fluttershout proud.” He said.

“Sounds like a plan! ...Wait, you heard me scream? Fuck. That meant my cover was blown long before I saw you.”

“Yeah, but there were some ponies I saw earlier, but it looked like they were going away from you after you screamed. The only thing I saw coming towards you were some timberwolves, but I sped up to get here before them, so they might be attacking at any moment. They might make for a good snack, since I already ate that cragidile that ate me.” He said nonchalantly. I just stared at him, thinking kinky thoughts about what he said rather than what was probably the reality of what he said.

“I’m just gonna pretend that’s not as gruesome as it probably is. In the meantime… it’s time to use my web slingin’ powers.” I said, actually pulling the thread out of my ass and beginning to weave it into a tight web layout. I rushed over to several trees, lining my webs along them and coating them in the special fluid that makes them sticky. Once I finished, I was surprised I’d actually managed to do it… let alone write “fuck off” in webbing before the timberwolves arrived.

When they arrived, they definitely looked like they were looking for a pony to kill. Me and FC kind of have something along the lines they are nature elementals, and they don’t kill to eat, more the fact that ponies kind of mess with nature too much. Like, nature fighting back to protect its right to do as it pleased. They then saw me up in my web, and a look of surprise came across their wooden canine faces. I guess they never dealt with spider ponies before. Noting that, I waved to them.

“Heya, twigmutts. Sorry your hunt was fruitless, but you ain’t finding any ponies here. Least, none that don’t respect nature as it should be.” I greeted.

For some reason, that actually worked. Then they turned their gaze to FC. The look they gave him wasn’t so friendly, but it was still slightly confused. One of them lunged at him, jaws open. I guess his shape was too close to regular ponies for the same trick to work twice. But it’s attack was for nothing, as when it bit down, it looked like FC wasn’t even in pain. In fact, it looked surprised. It pulled back, a bit or orange slime on it’s teeth. It didn’t even leave a mark on him.

“I guess physical attacks don’t work on me.” FC deadpanned. The wolves just looked at him and then left. Something told me they weren’t going to stay to find out if he could hurt them. “Spinnerette, you know how I was feeling earlier about eating them? Now I just feel conflicted. I guess I didn’t want to come off as hating nature by eating them.”

“Well, I’m gonna be pretty conflicted about what I eat too. Cuz… y’know. I’m a fucking spider.” I deadpanned. I paused at a thought, deciding I could maybe try Changeling guts some time.

“That I can understand, since spiders are naturally carnivorous. Maybe you could eat parasprites, since they aren’t sentient. But if it helps, you have a pony mouth although it does have fangs and mandibles on the side, so you could eat plant matter if you want. And considering this is Equestria, there might be some giant, non-sentient bugs you could eat.” He said. After a few moments though, he spoke up again. “Since you came up with a name for your new self, I might as well do the same. How about...Petrol Gel?”

“Sounds about as good as any.” I shrugged, not really caring one way or another. I moved on, and took down all my silk, eating it so I can get back what silk I used. “Huh… this stuff tastes better than I remember…”

“I don’t want to know when you ate spider silk as a human.” FC said. “Actually, I can’t judge, since I ate chocolate grasshopper cookies during one summer camp in middle school. They were actually pretty good.” He then started to move. He didn’t seem to leave a slime trail like I thought a slime pony would leave.

“It was an accident involving running face first into the attic. It happens to everyone that has one.” I replied flippantly.

“Okay, that makes sense.” He said as we walked on. We passed by a swamp and then I saw something that was rather ominous. It looked to be a cragidile, but... there was no fleshy bits, just a scaly, stony husk. To hide my unease about it, I chuckled and cracked a joke. “Hey, cool. If a dragon’s scales aren’t enough, they can wear this thing as armor.” I said with a smile.

“...I may have done that, since that was the cragidile that ate me.” Petrol said, and he sound kind of like a child admitting guilt. I stared at him for a second, blankly, before turning around and skittering the other way faster than you could say NOPE. Note to self: Do NOT piss this guy off.

Petrol continued. “I don’t know why, but when that cragidile ate me, some part of me started to go by instinct. I could feel my chemical composition change. I felt...acidic, like stomach acid. I think I became similar to the liquids that spiders inject into prey to turn their insides into a soup. I just hope I don’t go into instinct mode again, because now I am worried about accidentally killing some pony because they wanted to know if I tasted like jelly.”

I slowed down in sympathy, turning to stop my Nope March. “...I’m not sure what comfort I can give without lying. But try not to worry too much. You can learn.”

“I think I may have already started to learn. Part of me actually wanted to eat the timberwolf that bit me, but I actually held it back. I guess I am on the right track.” He started to walk again before stopping again. “...shit, a thought just crossed my mind. Remember what I said about some pony being curious if I taste like jelly? I remember seeing a picture on DeviantArt of Pinkie Pie eating a slime pony. Considering we might come across Pinkie at some point and how she can be a bit impulsive, I am not looking forward to that encounter.”

“...Well fuck. And knowing how you feel about being eaten… I fear for Pinkie’s life.” I muttered. I think my face turned paler. To take my mind off of that, I looked around at the forest, taking in each shadow and tree, not with fear as ponies would, but with appraisal, as a hunter would. To me, each shadow was a potential refuge from predators or a place to lay an ambush. And each tree a new obstacle to lay about a course in. Though, I’m not too sure how I’d parkour in this body… It makes climbing too easy and doing tricks too hard. The two of us soon arrived at our destination after a silent walk further on, at the edge of the forest.

“Huh, it looks like they are getting ready for Nightmare Night.” Petrol quipped.

“Then I guess that means I’ll be able to walk in and get friendly with the locals. I might sell Rarity my silk.” I said, thoughtfully appraising the idea’s worth.

“...If she doesn’t freak out about you being a giant spider, and if she doesn’t freak out about that, she might freak about you mane.” He joked. “And if she doesn’t freak at all, she might just drag you in to make a new design inspired by you or help make clothes for spider-ponies.”

“I can handle that.” I gloat, certain my quick thinking could help in whatever freakout may occur. “Besides, I think I actually want a good dress. I might ask her to use my silk for it too. You know what they say about spider silk, don’t you? Stronger than kevlar.”

“True, but the thought of you in a dress is just bringing up images of a ponified Muffet.” He said before something caught his attention. “Lyra and Bon Bon at 2 o’clock and closing in!”

“...I’m suddenly thinking of stealing her name…” I muttered silently. I turned to find out where those two were coming from, and found them coming our way, with Bonbon holding a… “...Is that a strapon?”

“...I don’t want to know.” He whispered before hiding. “I don’t want to cause a mass panic, because if they see us, they might scream, which might attract more ponies’ attention.”

“...They’re looking this way… I think this is their bush.” I warned.

“...Then let’s move quickly so they can’t see us.” He whispered back before moving back into the darkness of the forest. I moved slowly so my black chitin could help me hide better. It worked, thankfully, and I managed to hide behind a bush before they could get behind theirs.

“Lyra, I think I saw something move in the forest…” We could hear Bon Bon say.

“Bon Bon, I think you might be seeing things, you have been really stressed lately.” That was Lyra.

I smiled in amusement at their banter, but kept quiet about it. I didn’t want to scare them. Moving ever so slowly, and ever so silently, I kept an eye on them watching for any sudden moves, or for them to look at me.

“Yeah, you’re right, I have been really stressed since that gryphon came to Ponville asking about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I thought something was going to explode.”

I paused, blinking a bit. Wait… is that a reference to the most recent episode or something? Crap… Now I wish I watched all those episodes I abandoned in favor of writing closer to season one or two. I lamented. I am going to have to ask Petrol later, since he tends to watch the episodes, no matter how cringey they get. I sat still and listened in, curious about what this one was about.

“But that gryphon was so nice, unlike how I heard they tend to be. They tend to be a bit cranky. I remember her going around town with the Crusaders, doing different things. From what I heard, she was trying to get a Cutie Mark. I think in the end, the Crusaders made her an honorary member, since she helped a lot of ponies out, kind of what the Crusaders do.” I could hear Lyra say.

As I put together what had happened from that, and a few spoilery images I’d seen on the web, I couldn’t help but wonder how the strapon fit into this equation. And then Bonbon answered.

“Well… I suppose we didn’t come here to de-stress for nothing. Let’s get to work, Lyra.” Bonbon said as she strapped it on. Lyra grinned eagerly, getting into a submissive pose for her apparent girlfriend.

“That’s right, Bonny. This is what we came for.” she said invitingly as she spread her legs. Out of respect for their privacy, since I was no longer snooping on Episode facts, I backed away, timing each of my steps with one of their thrusts as they began to truly fuck.

As I got near Petrol, I could see a somewhat smug look on his face. “I thought I would never see the day you would decide to not watch two ponies go at it.” He whispered.

“What? I’m not gonna push my luck. I’ve pushed my luck one too many times in the past to have any desire to try it here. Besides, if I get caught, either one of them could kill me.” I retorted.

“Okay, that makes sense.” He whispered. As we were about to leave however, we heard something that stopped us cold.

“Lyra, did you cum?” Bonbon asked. I slowly turned my head in their direction.

“No, I didn’t. Why? Did you?” Lyra replied. I felt dread crawling up my back.

“Then why is there liquid below you?” Bonbon replied. At once, I could tell things would not be ending well for us. I could hear Petrol whisper “Merde”.

“Welp. Gig is up.” I said, slumping. With that, I dropped down and pretended to sleep.

“Wait, let me see.” With that, Lyra got up and looked. She poked at where the liquid was. “It doesn’t feel like liquid, it feels more like...slime. And it’s orange.”

“I don’t like that. It looks to be fresh, so whatever left it must still be near by.” I kept dead still, waiting for them to see me. I had a bit of a plan I hoped wouldn’t backfire. As they came though, the feeling of dread wouldn’t go away. I tried to keep it under control… but it was like it wouldn’t leave me no matter what.

“Bonny, what is that?” I had a feeling they saw me. I gave them a yawn in reply, stirring only enough to make it believable that I was still asleep, while sticking my hoof in my mouth and sucking it like a sleeping baby.

“It looks like a pony, but it also looks like a spider.” I could hear Bon Bon and Lyra getting closer. I continued to “sleep,” letting them get closer. I wanted to convince them I was no monster. Hopefully some fake sleep babble would convince them… Well, unless one of them was a changeling, in which case they could tell I hoped they were falling for the sleep act.

“Moar snuggles, plz…” I muttered softly, smiling as I curled up.

“It’s a spider pony…” Lyra said in a scared voice.

“It’s a threat to Ponyville.” I could hear Bon Bon say with a bit of contempt in her voice. Hearing that, I frowned… I really hoped they wouldn’t attack, and I started to fake waking up.

“...You know, it’s really creepy to watch somepony when they’re sleeping.” I remarked when I had opened my eyes and taken my hoof out of my mouth.

“You’re not going to hurt anypony in Ponyville, not on my watch!” I could hear Bon Bon say before she did a roundhouse kick that landed on my chest. That freaking hurt! But I could see another attack coming in, and it looked to be one directed to go down on my head. But before it could land, I saw an orange blur and the sound of chitin cracking.

“Agh...My leg!” Bon Bon screamed out. Then I saw what had happened. Petrol had gotten in front of me and...wait, why do his forehooves look like they crystallized?

“Don’t you dare hurt my friend!” I could hear him say.

“A slime pony? Really, what are you going to do, ooze all over me?” Bon Bon shot back.

“Okay, you really want to play that game? Okay then, you asked for it…” With that, he turned into a shoggoth.

Both Lyra and Bon Bon just sat there, the colored completely drained from their faces, and then they fainted.

“That… was a little overkill. I could have stopped that second hit.” I stated as I stared. As Bonbon lied there, a flash of fire poured over her for a split second, tearing away what was revealed to be a disguise. I stared at her changeling form, noting her blue color and broken hoof.

He turned back to normal as he began to speak. “True, but it would have ended in a fight that would have attracted even more attention, and I decided to play off the fact that she was in an organization that fought many monsters before, so turning into a shoggoth was my best bet, since she might have seen some Lovecraftian horrors. I wanted them to faint, not kill them.”

“Whatever. I’m going to web this one up then, and weave her a cast. That hoof doesn’t look too good, but we can’t risk her trying to hurt us again.” I said, picking Bonbon up. Without hesitation, I started wrapping her up, while making good on that claim to give her a cast.

“You do that, I’ll find some plant material to make a hammock for Lyra.” With that he left. A few minutes later he came back with some vines and large leaves. He proceeded to make a hammock out of it by weaving the vines together with the leaves. He then hung it up and put Lyra in the hammock. Once I finished the wrapping, taking care to wrap her horn up, I carried her over and set her to hang on a tightly woven rope of web from a tree.

“Alright. Any guess on how long it’ll take for them to wake up?” I asked, glancing up at the sky filled with stars. The moon was only just peeking over the horizon, making it the beginning of the night.

“I don’t know, but probably till morning. I think I want to get some rest too.” Petrol said. I deadpanned a bit.

“...We just woke up… Ah, whatever. I’ll stay up tonight so I can keep watch. I’ve pulled many all-nighters in the past.” I said, waving it off a bit. “Oh, and next time you want to stop something from attacking me, don’t break their limbs.” I said as I turned to look for a good watch position.

“I didn’t mean to, I was actually doing a block. Maybe I shouldn’t have hardened my limbs because I thought the attack would go right through me…” He said before lying down to go to sleep. I just nodded at his reasoning, heading to climb a tree for the view it provided. Once I reached the top, I nestled in for a long watch.