The Power Within

Chapter 10 - Within His Heart

The seconds passed one by one. They passed and turned into minutes, and the minutes soon turned into hours as the night progressed. My eyes scanned the surroundings of the hospital for the thousandth time, doing the same loop around the hallway over and over again. These floors and walls were becoming annoyingly familiar by now. Wherever I looked, there was nothing new for me to see. Not that there was much to look at in the first place. I had counted fifty-four tiles on the hallway floor, and six cracks on the wall. Or maybe seven, I was never sure about that last one... Waiting was painful and patience had never been one of my strong points, and right now - even less so. I wanted to hear some news about my sister and I wanted to hear them now.

The night shift doctors were trying to take a good care of me, but that was easier said than done. They simply couldn’t understand my rather neglecting behavior towards them. I had even shocked Twilight by yelling at the nurses to leave me alone - but I was desperate, and for the record, I couldn’t care less. I didn’t really care about anything but one thing. Redheart was leading the surgery in the operation room and I wanted to be the first to hear any information I could get. Although, there was a small flaw in my plan. Saying that I was tired would have been quite an understatement. I had tried to sleep during the smooth flight, but my broken wing had made sure that it was not going to happen.

Somewhere behind those doors were Nurse Redheart and couple other doctors, trying to save Crescent’s life. It was the same place where I had been lying a few days ago and I was probably going to be there soon again due to my wing, although I had no high hopes for keeping the damaged body part.

The pain had spread from the wing to my whole right side as the wing itself was completely numb. The sharpest pain was now gone, replaced by pulsing waves of pain, almost like there was some pressure on the base of my wing. I had heard some of the nurses whispering about an amputation, but I had no idea if they were actually talking about me - or Crescent.

It was a miracle we were still alive, much thanks to Cinder and Hurricane. I sacrificed a moment of my time to relive our arrival.

After several hours of blurring flight speed, we had finally arrived at the Ponyville hospital. The deepest part of the night was already above us, but our late timing had also given us a perfect cover to land unnoticed. The last thing we wanted was to cause any panic. According to Twilight, no dragons of this size had set their claws in Ponyville for quite some time.

Twilight and Nurse Redheart had helped Crescent into the hospital while I had bidden the dragons farewell and thanked them for their help. For some reason, it had felt weird to depart from them, like I hadn’t said enough to show my gratitude. As ridiculous as it sounded in my head, I almost wanted them to stay. At least for overnight so they would know how the surgery went.

But… I couldn’t possibly ask them to do that. They wanted to get back home to their baby. Besides, the ponies here might get scared of the dragons and panic. It was always a full-time panic at Whitestone whenever we saw the dragons coming and Cinder Flash and Hurricane were a lot bigger than them.

As I didn’t want to ruin anything else, I had waved the farewell to the pair as they took off. A small tear had rolled down my cheek and I sniffled. I actually cared about them.

I let out a subtle sigh, now staring the door in front of me blankly.

Twilight was sitting on the same small bench with me, but neither of us had said anything for quite some time. The atmosphere was actually pretty tense. We were simply waiting for the operation to be over, but the longer we waited, the fewer chances Crescent had to survive the ordeal.

I simply released another frustrated sigh through my nostrils and stared down. The way I was mentally preparing for the worst was nothing new to me. I imagined Nurse Redheart coming out of the door and telling us that Cres didn’t make it. Regardless of how many times I imagined that happening, the scene always froze there. I had no idea how to react to such news should it ever come to that.

But… Why did I prepare myself for the worst? Why couldn’t I let myself believe that everything was going to be alright? She had already made it this far, there was no reason for me to lose my hope. Although I had already lost so much I almost felt obligated to feel this way.

As the night progressed, the director of the hospital had come to me and asked if I would agree to get checked. I had only laid a cold stare at him. Had it not been for my current state, I’d have probably smacked him to the face. It was because of him that Redheart was working so much that she wanted to come with me on a suicidal mission. Then again, if Redheart weren’t there, Crescent would have been dead a long time ago. So I decided to spare him from my ranting.

I was actually pretty mad inside. I was angry and frustrated. Not only because of what had happened but why it had happened. It was all because of me and my stupid shining mane and tail. It had already ruined my foalhood and now it had destroyed my hometown and everypony who lived there. I had ruined the lives of so many innocent ponies. And as if that wasn’t enough, I was now also a mass murderer. Sure, they were bad ponies and I didn’t know what I was doing, but that didn’t make me feel any better. I never wanted to take anypony’s life!

Tears gathered in my eyes as I closed them, lowered my head and cried. My whole body joined in as I twitched from the sobbing, my crying being audible for those few ponies in the nearby rooms.

I could feel Twilight move on the bench as she probably turned to me. However, she didn’t say anything. I could only imagine what she was thinking.

Another moment passed, but the unicorn stayed silent. She simply didn’t know what to say or do, and neither did I. She probably didn’t even know why I was crying.

Only after I let my mane fall over my face, Twilight let out a surprised gasp.

I tried to stop my sobbing for a moment and looked at her, though I couldn’t see much. My vision was blurred by my tears and obscured by my mane.

The weird thing was that Twilight still didn’t say anything, only stared at me. I couldn’t even start to guess what had she gasped about, so I just decided to ask.

“W-what?” I sobbed, sounding more pathetic than I would have liked to.

Yet, there was no answer from the purple mare. She only moved her forehoof toward me and ran it through my mane, stroking it. The act felt surprisingly pleasant, so I allowed her to continue, nevermind what she was even trying to do.

I remembered how she had stroked me before in the library after the nightmare. Maybe that’s what this was all about. It felt really good to experience the same pleasant feeling again. It’s not like my mom ever stroked me.

“It’s not glowing anymore,” Twilight spoke softly, almost whispering the words into my ear.

“What? Growing?” I asked absently, not even trying to process her words. What wasn’t growing anymore?

I sniffled and took a better look at Twilight next to me and noticed that she was staring at my ass now. Or my cutie mark, I didn’t know and I almost didn’t care, but the heat on my cheeks told me otherwise.

“Your mane and tail, they are not glowing anymore, Shimmering,” Twilight revealed softly.

Great. Apparently, my ears were also full of mud. I could swear she had just told me that my mane and tail weren’t glowing anymore. Like that could ever happen.

I shot her a questioning gaze and cocked my head in confusion.

Twilight only gave me a faint smile and pointed at my tail before grabbing it and presenting it to me.

Apparently, this truly was about my tail so I dried my tears with my hoof and looked at my tail.

The first thing I noticed was that it sure wasn’t clean. It had mud and blood stains on it and it was badly tangled. But… I couldn’t see the infamous shimmering anymore. I tried to shadow my tail in order to see it, but my efforts proved to be for nothing. Now it was my turn to release a surprised gasp.

“It’s… It’s not glowing, Twilight,” I said and looked at her in confusion.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. For the first time in my life, the glow was gone. I didn’t know if I should be happy or scared about it. Was I … dying?

“Yes, that’s what I said,” Twilight replied with a delicate smile that soon faded away.

“B-but why? Am I dying?” I asked in a slight panic.

Twilight took her time to inspect me further before answering.

“I don’t think so. I think it has something to do with that huge thunderstorm back in Whitestone.” Twilight pondered before continuing, “Somehow, you were able to discharge all that magical energy that was trapped inside of you. And I also bet you could feel a lightning bolt now.”

All I could do was blink my still moist eyes. If what Twilight said was true and I was going to live through the next couple days, my life would never be the same. I didn’t give a flying pony feather about the glow or my ability to withstand lightning bolts. I would finally be free of my nightmare. No more label on my forehead that said ‘freak’, no more explaining to other ponies what was wrong with me.

“It- it’s not coming back ever again?” I asked excitedly with a small sniffle.

The librarian simply smiled at me. “We can’t be sure, but I don’t think it will come back.”

For a brief moment, I was able to forget my worries and concentrate on myself. I simply stared at my tail in disbelief while the overwhelming feeling of confusion roamed free in my mind. So many questions I had to ask, questions that nopony could probably answer. How had it happened? Why had it happened, and what was going to happen next? I was like one big question mark sitting on the bench.

Soon, I found myself staring at Twilight Sparkle, the purple unicorn who had appeared in Whitestone from thin air. Now I had even more questions in my mind. I could as well use this time to figure out what had happened.

“Talking about Whitestone... W-what were you doing there? Uh, I mean, how did you find us, were you following us?” I stammered out, confused.

Twilight looked down and sighed heavily. Her demeanor wasn’t all that pleasant suddenly.

“Nurse Redheart told me everything about you and your friend and what you were about to do,” Twilight started, but paused upon my stunned gasp that actually came out more like a tiny squeak.

I couldn’t believe Redheart had betrayed my trust. Well, technically I never told her not to tell anypony about the situation, but it was still not cool. When did she even had the time to do that? Unless…

I opened my mouth to say something, but in the end, I just let Twilight continue whatever she was about to say.

“She told me just before you three left Ponyville. Please, don’t be mad at her, she was only trying to help…” Twilight said quietly, not even looking at me anymore.

I could see from her demeanor that there was something more to this. Something was obviously bothering her. She had been acting strangely at Whitestone too like she was afraid of me or something.

“And?” I inquired further.

“She told me that she was worried about your safety and needed somepony to look after you in case something happened. So, I followed you a good distance behind,” Twilight revealed.

That didn’t make any sense. Why would Twilight risk her life by following us?

But then again, if Twilight wasn’t there, Cres would be dead right now. Twilight had protected her from the lightning bolts, using a shield spell of some sort. Thinking about it, both Twilight and Redheart had saved Cres from certain death at some point. That realization only reminded me how foolish I was thinking to do it alone, or even just with Leafy. Without Redheart or Twilight, Crescent would not have survived.

“Thank you,” I mumbled quietly, now feeling bad about my way of thinking of her. She didn’t have to come or help me.

“Don’t thank me. I did it for Redheart,” Twilight shot coldly.

The words hit me like an anvil dropping from the sky. All I could do was stare at Twilight dumbfounded, mouth and eyes wide open. Nothing made sense anymore. The flood of questions filled my head, but I couldn’t even make the tiniest voice to speak. But like so often in my life, I didn’t have to. Somepony else was always doing the talking.

“You remember when you flew into the library and Redheart patched you up and then your friend suddenly came to talk to you one night ago?” Twilight asked rhetorically, not that I would have been able to reply anyway. “Well, while you were outside, I was actually trying to contact Princess Celestia and ask what to do with you as the things started to heat up with your sudden friend and all. I thought we might be in danger,” Twilight revealed, almost sounding like she had never trusted me in the first place.

All those nice words she had said to me, offering help and comfort, even her home… I couldn’t believe that all this time she had been afraid of me. There was no denying, it felt bad.

But then again, this was nothing new to me. I was nothing but a freak. I had an army after my flank and suddenly my shady friend appeared on Twilight’s front door. I guess I kind of understood her.

After I had processed the first piece of information, Twilight continued, “We… We had a small argument over the situation and I decided to give her a chance to figure things out with you by herself.” Mild annoyance was present in her voice. “But then, you decided to go back with your friend. Only Redheart noticed what you were trying to do. She came to me, crying, asking for my help to look after you. You have to understand that I had no choice,” Twilight ended with a slight huff.

I tried to fit the pieces together, but only scrambled my thoughts further. Why did she ask Twilight anyway, what was so special about this mare? Yes, it was a stupid idea to go back alone, but I was desperate and only wanted to save Crescent. Was that so wrong?

“Y-you think I had a choice then? Just leave her there, dying?” I sobbed, giving the unicorn an offended look. “I had to do something!” I added with a bit more volume.

Twilight actually took a moment to think about my words as she hesitated to say something. But I wasn’t done.

“I thought I had lost her. One of the only ponies who actually ever cared about me. She was more important than anything else in my life and then Leaf Trotter told me that she was still alive. I have nothing without her…” I ended with a small sniffle as I processed my thoughts.

She really was everything to me. My mom was a cold tyrant that controlled my life as she pleased, and my father never really loved me as a son. All he cared about was having a pegasus foal who would continue his work. Who knows how many siblings I’d have if I wasn’t born as a pegasus. Crescent Rain got the same treatment, but she had a lot more confidence than I had.

“You think I didn’t care?” Twilight asked on the verge of tears.

“Well, I thought you did, but nothing says ‘I care about you’ more than getting me arrested!” I shot back.

“But I wasn’t…” Twilight tried to say something, but pressed her head down and sniffled.

I peeked at Twilight, feeling bad that I had yelled at her. But I think she understood me.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Shimmering. I just wish you had told me first.” Twilight sighed.

“You said you were going to contact the princess about me… wouldn’t it take a long time for the letter to reach her?” I asked after a moment of silence.

The letter was just my first guess. I just assumed so by her habits of taking notes and writing everything down earlier. Maybe she actually had some friend who knew the princess and thus she could send the message via them?

Twilight looked at me and was about to answer, but just then, a familiar voice was heard from the end of the hallway.

“No, with me they won’t,” Spike said, proudly moving a claw to his chest.

Two pure white pegasi with golden armor stood next to him. They looked like actual soldiers, causing my heart to skip a beat.

“You see, I can send the letters to Princess Celestia directly and she can send them to me.” Spike puffed his chest.

That said, the purple dragon suddenly held his stomach before releasing a huge burp with a green flame that lit up the hallway. But that wasn’t all. There was now a small scroll in Spike’s claws.

At my current state, I wasn’t even going to try to understand what had just happened. But it looked like Spike had just burped a letter out of himself.

“Spike? What are you doing here? Did you send a letter to Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked, excitedly.

How they knew the princess was beyond me and I suddenly felt a lot more anxious than before. If I had just came across with one of Celestia’s spies, I was officially screwed. And so was Crescent.

The purple dragon opened the scroll and started to read.

“Dear Spike. I’m truly sorry to hear about the latest turn of events in the library. It appears to me that this pony you told me about in your letter poses no threat to the community. I’m also glad to hear that you and Twilight had took such a good care of him in his situation. Although it also worries me that Twilight disappeared with him.

It has come to my knowledge that something terrible has happened in a faraway town called Whitestone. These two cases might be linked together somehow. I will send you some guards to keep watch over the town regardless.

My sister is trying to locate Twilight as we speak. Report me immediately shall the situation change in any way.

Princess Celestia.”

Spike ended the letter and watched me questioningly. It appeared he wasn’t scared at least, only confused. But I couldn’t blame him.

“You wrote her a letter?” Twilight asked, baffled.

“Well, yeah. I was worried about you.” Spike sighed and looked at Twilight for a moment. “I mean, you are important to me and I don’t want to lose you,” the little dragon muttered quietly.

For a brief moment, I let a small smile on my face, but abandoned it after realizing just how much pain and worry I had caused to everypony. Especially to Spike. He was still a young dragon and I wanted to apologize to him so bad, but I couldn’t find the right words.

Instead, Twilight turned to Spike and levitated him within her grasp before hugging him tightly.

“Thank you, Spike.” The librarian giggled happily.

The bond between Twilight and Spike was something I had not seen too often in my time. It almost reminded me of my relationship with my sister. I watched as the dragon tried to get free from the hug, having a small blush on his face.

“Don’t mention it, it was nothing, really,” Spike muttered before Twilight levitated him back on the floor.

“Well, I think it’s time to let the princess know that everything is now alright.” Twilight sighed, relieved.

I only pressed my head down in defeat. Nothing in this setup was alright. I mean, of course Twilight wanted to protect Ponyville and her friends from a possible threat, but what about me? I was alone, scared and mentally scarred for the rest of my life. All I could hope was that Crescent would survive the operation.

“Spike, take a letter,” Twilight requested firmly and Spike took out a quill and a piece of paper.

“Dear Princess Celestia. This is Twilight Sparkle. I’m happy to inform you that the situation is under control. I’m back at Ponyville, unharmed. I was at Whitestone with this new pony and we managed to rescue his sister from the army that destroyed the town. Due to some extraordinary circumstances, the army no longer exists,” Twilight worded the letter, Spike scribbling every word on the paper. The dragon raised his eyebrow after Twilight mentioned the fate of the army.

However, I was only confused that Twilight didn’t reveal the actual details. At least not yet. It would have made one long letter, though. Soon, Twilight continued, “I can confirm that this pony is not a threat to us. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. He really wants to protect those important to him at all costs. Unfortunately, his sister was badly injured and is currently fighting for her life in the operation room. All we can do now is wait. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight ended with a sigh.

Soon after that, Spike wrapped the letter and shot a stream of green fire to it, making the letter burn and disappear. I didn’t even try to process the act.

Twilight’s words echoed in my mind over and over again. She was an actual student of the princess herself? Suddenly, I didn’t feel so good. I just stared at the floor, afraid to do so much as breathe. There were two royal guards in the hallway, one dragon that could magically send and receive letters from the princess, and Twilight Sparkle who was a pupil of Princess Celestia. I only waited for the guards to arrest me at any given moment.

“There, it’s sent,” Spike announced.

Not too long from that, I could feel Twilight Sparkle staring at me. Spike did too. I was simply petrified. Suddenly, I felt like I had nopony around me I could trust, like I was in danger or something. My heart beated furiously as I swallowed and stared down, awaiting what was going to happen next.

“Shimmering, are you alright?” Twilight asked worriedly.

What an odd question. No, I was not alright. I was in a hospital, surrounded by strangers and two guards, waiting for news about Crescent. My right wing was in so bad shape that I might never fly again - that is if I wasn’t locked up in a prison for the rest of my life. After all, I was responsible for not only the lives of the soldiers, but my hometown as well.

I did the only thing I could at that moment; I cried.

I let my tears flow as freely as they wanted, just staring down. Maybe they would go easy on me if I didn’t resist.

“I’m… I’m so sorry for everything… I never wanted any of this to happen,” I sobbed. “I deserve any punishment you see fit,” I murmured before raising my head and looking at the guards. “I won’t resist.”

The moment I looked at the guards, they looked each other, confused. Spike looked confused as well, surprised by my words.

But the most interesting look was on Twilight’s perplexed face. Never since I had met her had she wore an expression as confused as this one.

“Uhh, what are you talking about?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.

The guards whispered something to each other before resuming to their poses.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Shimmering. You are the victim here. Why in Equestria should we throw you of all ponies in the prison?” Twilight asked, still confused.

For all that it mattered to me, I still couldn’t help but feel responsible. I just couldn’t understand why Twilight was suddenly protecting me again.

“But I-” I tried to lighten up my heart, but was interrupted by Twilight.

“No, Shimmering. It was not your fault. What happened was beyond your control,” Twilight stated firmly. “Please, don’t blame yourself for this. You should concentrate on yourself and your sister now.”

The moment she mentioned my sister, I turned my gaze back to the door in front of us. It was quiet, almost too quiet.

Everypony followed my example, including the guards. I had no idea why, but even they seemed to be genuinely worried. Did they actually know what was going on?

“S-she will be okay. Right, Twilight?” Spike asked quietly.

Spike’s question somehow gave me a little bit of hope. It was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one who cared.

“She has the best possible ponies working on her, so I think she will be okay, Spike.” Twilight smiled at the purple dragon.

The best possible ponies… I counted on every one of them, but at the same time, I was worried about Nurse Redheart. She must have been extremely tired after all of this and now she had to perform a late night operation. She was already exhausted by her job when I got here. I just hoped she would be able to pull this off and save Crescent Rain.

As we stared the door in silence, we suddenly heard some noises behind the door. Somepony was coming out.

The door opened and the familiar white mare with pink mane came out. She wasn’t even wearing her hat and her mane was a ruffled mess.

The nurse had a small mask in front of her muzzle and there was some blood on it. Apparently, she had already washed her hooves as they were clean. Just by looking at her, I couldn’t tell if the operation had been a successful one or not.

She pulled the mask down and looked at me for a few seconds. Then, she cracked a faint smile on her exhausted face.

That smile was the best smile I had ever seen in my life.

Her smile soon turned into a happy grin as she ran to me, throwing her forehooves around my neck and hugging me tightly. She giggled and cried one after another.

“She’s going to be fine!” Redheart announced to everypony, relieved.

Carefully, others started to cheer as well and joined in the hug with me and Redheart. Well, except for the guards as they were trying to save their dignity. But they were seemingly happy as well.

The hug felt so, so comforting. Happy tears streamed down my cheeks as thankful feelings filled my heart. Crescent was going to be fine… Redheart and others had saved her life. I, too, paired my forehooves around Redheart's neck and hugged her tightly.

Suddenly, I felt so happy, so relieved and safe. All bad things that had happened to me stepped aside for a moment, letting me be thankful that I was still alive myself. I hugged Redheart even harder, burrowing my muzzle into her mane.

“Thank you! Thank you, Redheart!” I murmured against her soft pink mane.

I felt Spike and Twilight departing from the hug, but I just couldn’t let go. Not just yet.

Redheart let out a small giggle while stroking my mane. “You are making me blush.”

As adorable as that sounded, I couldn’t help but blush myself.

“Any color is perfect on your pretty face,” I whispered, feeling the furious blush burning on my face.

After we had celebrated the successful operation, Redheart had lead me to see Crescent Rain. We had talked a bit and she told me she had been worried about me more than herself. Just like she always did. According to Redheart, my sister was going to be fine and released in a couple of weeks. The nurse had also offered her home for Crescent to stay until she found a new home. She had thanked Redheart and smiled happily before the nurses told us to leave as she needed to rest.

Twilight and Spike went back home as it was almost morning already. Twilight had been surprisingly quiet after the operation, but I just figured she was tired. We all were. I still had a lot of questions about her, but tonight wasn’t the time to ask them.

In fact, Redheart had scheduled an operation for me as well. She wouldn’t be on it as she was tired, but she promised that my wing would be fixed.

To my surprise, the director of the hospital had apologized to Redheart for her workload and requested her to go home and get some rest. She had also received a pay rise and a luxurious spa treatment for two. First, the nurse had been awkward about the extra spa ticket, but after she had glanced at me, she had smiled and accepted the tickets with a giggle.

For some reason, I had a feeling I was up for a surprise spa treatment whenever I was going to get out from the hospital...