Remembrance of a Certain Evil

by ParodiaTheSilent

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Gilda, Adventure, Violence, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 11784

Rowan is dropped into Equestria with most of his memories gone; the memories he retains being random and useless facts. The fool idiotically involves himself in the NM incident and becomes reacquainted with an old friend.

Rowan Slate, a super-cliche amnesiac protagonist, is dropped into Equestria through means obviously unknown to him. Upon waking in the new land, Rowan is easily excepted; at speeds that make little sense even to himself. Despite having his own slew of problems he decides to take it upon himself to reform the naive minds of the ponies the world seems to depend.
Whether he wants to or not.

There will be occasional swearing.

I'm gonna have to change the tags sooner or later.

Published 2016-09-18 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-07 21:37:54 UTC

The Day After: Part 1

The door to the library shut softly and silence fell over us. Twilight seemed rather pleased that I was to stay with her in a library and, for a reason I hoped didn’t involve me, was practically tearing books from the shelf fervently.

Who am I kidding? It probably involved me.

“So,” I began. Twilight gave no indication of having heard me. I tried again louder. “Twilight! Where am I going to sleep?!” Twilight seemed to slow down somewhat. She continued skimming through books, though now she was mumbling as she did so. Unfortunately for me, at the moment her voice is softer than the shy one’s. I walked silently into position on her right and crouched. She still showed no sign of noticing me so I continued, grabbing the tip of her ear and lifting it. This earned a slight twitch of the opposite ear. Not enough.

Now. I’m not proud of what I did next, nor did I take any amount of pleasure from her reaction, but it had to be done. For the greater good.

I opened my mouth wide and brought out my tongue. I then licked her from her jaw up, intending to keep going until I reached my own fingers. She tasted, strangely enough, like a purple crayon. That is if each crayon tasted different. I had gotten just up to her eye before she started flailing her hooves and squealing like a pig that was just pushed on its side.

“Why would you do that?!” She was still flailing about not even noticing as one of her hooves clipped my chin, forcing me to bite my own tongue. I fell onto my back tried to suck the blood out my own tongue.

Why would you do that?

“Boredom,” I replied, more to my attacker than to the useless twat in my head. Though, due to the condition of a certain pink organ, it comes out sounding more like “Bodum”. Twilight (who had still been flailing up until this point) finally calmed down enough to see myself and her books collapsed on the floor. And guess which one she was more worried about.

“The books!” Her horn lit up and the pieces of literature surrounding her were picked up in a similar pink glow. Each and one goes zipping across the room into what I assumed were their proper places. “I’m okay too, Sparkler. No thanks to you.” The second statement was not at all a quiet whisper though somehow Twilight hadn’t heard it. So being the prude she was she decided to hear everything else.

“Sparkler?! What gave you the idea to call me that?” I didn't expect her to be irritated by a nickname. I could’ve given something worse. The least she could do is be grateful.

“Come on, Sparkler, it’s that or Sparklebutt. Actually, scratch that; Celestia’s gonna be Sunbutt. Of course, I’ll never say it to her face or at least not in public. But yeah, seeing as you are technically my caretaker it’s only fitting that I give you an endearing nickname.” Sure enough, that’s the situation I was put in; Princess Celestia basically said ‘I know you’re new and all but I’ve got stuff to do so I’m leaving you with my student.’ And that’s exactly what happened. She deserved that nickname too for the sun-raising stunt she pulled.

“That’s not really all that endearing... and you can hardly give such a ridiculous nickname to the princess! Or any nickname for that matter!” She was looking really upset at that point.

Wonderful and completely unique nicknames. Great job.

Quiet, you. I mentally shot back. I’d had it with that one. Twilight, on the other hand, was looking at me like I just kicked her puppy in the throat. Whatever she was going to say, I wasn’t going to let her. “Anyway, Sparkler,” Her pouty glare became a grimace. “Do you have a bathroom or something?” She nodded and gave some directions but stopped me when I began to walk away.

“Can you actually, you know… see?” What type of question was that supposed to be?

“Um. Yeah? Why?” As far as I knew there was no reason for her to ask something like that.

“Well, your mane is covering your eyes.” My hair, ya mean? She pointed it out like it was obvious and sure enough, as soon as she said it I noticed locks of hair hanging in front of my eyes.

“Has my hair been covering my eyes this entire time?” Nod. Well, that’s inconvenient, ain’t it? Don’t move the hair. I’ll explain some things in the bathroom. He caught me just as I was reaching to brush my hair from face. I asked for the bathroom and Twilight gave me directions that I quickly followed and sure enough, there it was. Crouching a bit, I entered.

Go ahead and look in the mirror. I bet you’ve been aching to get a good look at yourself.

“Not really,” I answered but I complied regardless. I step in front of the mirror and part my hair. Not for any reason other than to see why ‘the voice’ didn’t want me moving my blonde mop.

“Huh.”

Under other circumstances, I probably would’ve freaked or been somewhat intrigued by the fact that I had lizard-like eyes. All it elicited was a ‘huh’. I gave the rest of me a once over. A sleeveless white shirt— I turned my head— with a blue hood. Somewhat worn jeans and gray sneakers.

I bet you’re wonderin’ ‘bout your eyes, the voice said with quite a bit of snark.

“Not really,” I said, indifference or boredom making my voice sound dull.

Oh yeah. You never actually saw her.

“I’d really appreciate it if you would explain.” He had the nerve to laugh at that.

Yeah, yeah. It’s about time I explained those complications. Alright. Sit down and close your eyes. I— very reluctantly I might add— complied.

“Alright. Go ahead and open ‘em.” I opened my eyes. The bathroom was gone and once again I found myself in some painfully empty space. At least this time I there was some sort of ‘ground’. I stood and brushed myself off.

“Start explaining,” I admit I was fairly peeved at that point because Mr. Mysterious was playing me for a fool. He chose that moment to reveal himself and I wasn’t nearly as surprised I should’ve been. Simply put ‘Mr. Mysterious’ was almost a carbon copy of myself. As far as I could tell anyway. He had no hood and he wore all gray. His hair was still over his eyes too.

“Good evening, old friend.” He spoke as he approached me. Once he was an arm’s length away he stuck out a hand. I took it reluctantly and we shook.

“It’s morning, idiot. Now. Explanation.” He wasn’t going to get any more time out of me than was needed.

“Ok. Here's the thing. I was separated from you. I'm not sure when I just I know it happened. I'm just as clueless to your past as you are but I actually have access to your memories. Kind of. Once I reformat all those we can go back to bein' buddies. I can remember, or rather, feel our connection at least.”

It took me a second to realize that him calling me old friend meant he probably knew me before I showed up in Equestria. Three more seconds to recognize the fact that he apparently has 'access' to my memories. The last overrules the first in terms of importance. “So you can just give me my memories?” Even through his hair, I could tell he was giving me his best ‘are you an idiot?’ look.

“Did you not listen? I said reformatting for a reason. Think of it like this,” he said and in each hand was a book. The book in his left hand had very few pages but the spine was large and looked as if it had once held quite a bit more. The book in his right was, in simple terms, two covers held together very poorly with too many pages in between. “The borderline-empty book is full of your current memories; Equestria and some random facts from Earth. Its tattered counterpart is full of your old memories; your family and daily life. Had you remained unconscious and therefore had no memories of Equestria, I could’ve simply shoved your old memories into the proper cover. As it is now, having new memories in a world nothing like your own has changed how your mind observes things. It went from a grim novel to a children's book in seconds." He sighed. "That being the case I have to adjust perceptions a bit in your old memories so I can return them to you. Once I do that everything would, theoretically, correct itself.”

The somewhat lengthy explained had me speechless. Mainly because I had highly doubted his ability to properly think. He was probably just trying to sound smart. “That was something else.” He nodded solemnly.

“What should I call you?” I wasn't very good at picking new subjects; he smiled at my attempt, though. Well, seemed a bit less frustrated. “Don’t know. If anything you can call one of two things.”

“And what are those?”

“You could call me what I feel I was or what I now believe myself to be.” He smiled. It wasn’t a threatening grin or anything similar in intent but it gave me a shiver all the same.

“I wish you wouldn’t try to be so mysterious. Hurry up and tell me your ‘names’.” I was becoming quite impatient with this one.

“Impatient much? Well, I—”, My eyes shot open, my fruitless conversation interrupted by loud pounding.

“Rowan! Are you still in there?”

Are you serious, Sparkler? At this rate, she was going to end up more annoying than Mr. Nameless. “The hell do you want, Sparkler?” I practically shout as I move to open the door. She was still knocking when I opened the door so imagine what happened when her hoof was given full clearance. If you guessed that I got a hoof straight to the nads then bravo; you were right. Unbelievable. I hadn’t even gotten through the doorway.

“Twilight,” I said as she set her offending hoof down. It took far too much effort to keep my pain from showing. I at least managed a blank expression. “Um. Yes?” she replied, hesitantly.

“Whatever you were going to say can it wait for, like, a minute? Please?”

“I guess?” I mouthed a silent ‘Thank you’ and stepped back into the bathroom, closing the door once I was completely inside. I turned around and slumped against the door. I took a deep breath and let out a soft, almost inaudible groan as I slid down the door.

That was quite the show. I would laugh but I know full well how much that hurts. I think. My sympathy.

As if that helps, I thought. After what was roughly another thirty seconds I managed to convince myself to stand. I opened the door and stepped through the too small doorway. “Alright, Sparkler,” I began. “What is it?” Twilight looked a bit sheepish. “Well… Spike is making breakfast and I was wondering if you wanted anything to eat.”

“Considering the fact that I’ve eaten a singular cupcake since I got here, of course, I want food. Let’s go.” Twilight nodded and made her way down the stairs as I followed closely behind. I was really tempted nudge her a bit; see if she could catch herself. I’m not that mad though.

Too bad she interrupted us. Guess we’ll have to talk later.

You’re talking to me now aren’t you? Silence. He must’ve been serious. Twilight reached the bottom a few seconds before I did. It seemed I had slowed down a bit with Mr. Anonymous taking up my attention. It’s decided; I’ll call him Anonymous until he gives me his name and/or names. Twilight was already at another door by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs. She practically tore it off of its hinges with her glowing mojo. I’m going to have to ask what that’s about sometime.

“Spike! I need you make an extra serving of pancakes!” No need to yell, Sparky. Ooh. That’s a good one. “Gotcha, Twilight. But umm, how much is a serv- Ahh!” I was about halfway through the door only to see a large purple and green lizard hurling a frying pan in my direction. I caught it easily and was about to say something snarky when I felt a searing pain in my hand. I dropped the pan and squatted down, squeezing my reddened hand in between my knees.

You are a glutton for punishment, aren't you? I was about to be a glutton for something else real soon. Probably brain people.

I’m sure Twilight was saying something but I was focused on Anonymous.

“Rowan, are you okay?” That seems to be asked a lot lately. Or, at least, things along those lines.

“Hmph. As if something like that would ever phase me.” I guess I pulled the arrogant douchebag card. My apologies. She didn’t look the slightest bit peeved. Twilight backed up gestured to the lizard. “This is my assistant, Spike and he is very sorry.”

“Yeah sorry um… Rowan.” Spike rubbed the back of his head with a claw. “It’s just that your eyes looked so much like Nightmare Moon’s.” Who?

It’s your natural eye color.

“One: It’s my natural eye color. Two: Who the hell is Nightmare Moon?” Why the hell do you have me lying? That was quickly belied by the frustration that I'd followed him without question.

It’s not a lie. Considering the fact that I can't really see you, the first thing I learned about you was your appearance. Natural appearance, I might add.

“Wow, Spike, you’re right!” Thanks for ignoring me. “And how did you notsee Nightmare Moon?” I rubbed a hand over my face. Of course; the hyper-convenient thing where I didn’t see the supposedly important pony.

“I was in the wall the entire time— I couldn’t see anything— and was in there for like, five minutes.”

“You were in the wall?!” I nodded.

“Yup. Slammed and swallowed faster than a shot of whiskey.” Twilight looked a bit put off by my analogy but it fit so I thought it was cool.

“Well sit down and I’ll go grab the book detailing the story of Nightmare Moon,” she said, marching out of the kitchen. That left Spike and me on our own. We were in complete silence; Spike making more pancakes and me sitting cross-legged at the small table.

“So,” I started. “I doubt I’ll enjoy Sparkler’s explanation; the way she was blasting through books earlier hinted at that.”

“Understatement of the century!” Spike burst into laughter. Well, that made me feel somuch better. After that exclamation, Spike turned around holding a plate of pancakes in his claws. “But I'll tell you now to spare you the disappointment: You won't.”

“Thanks, Spike,” I said, irritated. For the food and the truth.

He looked pretty surprised at my change of attitude but he took it in stride. “No problem! I’ve gotta make more pancakes for Twilight, though.” Twilight came back into the room immediately after Spike said that. Spike froze and I tried to hold back a grin. I failed, of course, but I tried.

“I couldn’t find the book so I’ll explain on the way to Fluttershy’s,” She said this without breaking stride. The familiar pink glow surrounded my plate of pancakes and lifted it into the air. “Rowan, you can eat on the way there and please cover up your eyes; Ponyville had enough of a scare yesterday. You being yourself will be another beast altogether.” Ooh, Burn. She turned towards Spike. “Are you coming, Spike?”

“No, I should probably stay here and clean. You'd make me do it later anyway.” Wow. Thanks for the backup kid. I pulled my hood over my head and grabbed the now floating plate of pancakes from the air. Unfortunately, the plate was still hot and I was once again burned. On the bright side, it wasn’t unbearably hot so I was at least able to force myself to keep holding the plate. Twilight turned and exited the kitchen. Before following her out I gave Spike a look, trying to tell him with that gaze how little I would be enjoying this. I don’t think he understood it because he simply waved and set about to do exactly as he said he would.

“ Hey, is Fluttershy the shy one…” What had begun as a question quickly faded into a murmur. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ridiculous. Of course, Fluttershy’s the shy one. What type of ridiculous question was that? And that was rhetorical so don’t answer. The last thing I needed was my mirror image laughing at me. Twilight giggled in response to my painful idiocy.

“Yes. Fluttershy’s the shy one,” she said as we left the library. To my dismay, the roads were already full of ponies. I couldn’t wrap my head around that fact because the sun had ‘risen’ an hour or so ago. Absolutely absurd. As a result of the abnormally lively town, the second I was within earshot a pony glanced in my direction, doubled back, and then stared. From there it was a wave; pony after pony suddenly registered my existence and all gave me looks of shock and fear. A lot of them looked ready to scream and three mares in particular actually did; fainted as well.

I’m a little impressed they haven’t all run off screaming yet. When the first three started I just assumed it would be taken up by the rest.

I think it was the pancakes. Reckon it’s pretty hard to be too scared of something holding pancakes.

It’s rather depressing that you’re probably correct. I did my best to look as neutral as possible for the crowd as Twilight and I continued forward but it’s impossible to look anything but suspicious while wearing a hood. Twilight went into her explanation of Nightmare Moon. What I gathered was Luna got jealous over something that was completely out the hands- err, hooves -of Equestrian citizens. She started brooding a bunch and eventually the frustration got to be too much for her. Twilight had gotten just to the point where Luna had reached her breaking point when I heard shouting behind me. Twilight, much to my surprise, didn’t bother turning around to find out what caused the commotion and immediately went sprinting-

Galloping

-to the side. I, on the other hand, turned around as quickly as I could and got a faceful of gray. Whatever it was that had hit me sent me flying some three feet and I landed flat on my back. I groan; not in pain but in ever growing irritation. That irritation became fury as I clenched and unclenched my jaw. But just as quickly as my anger came it faded, leaving me with a hollow feeling instead of the rage. The anger was still there, biting at the edges of mind. I let out a sigh that should’ve been filled with frustration but instead sounded tired. What was that? That God-awful feeling, I mean. Not the being run down thing. Even my thoughts felt empty at that point.

Don’t ask me; it’s your body.

His answer left me unsatisfied but I took it all the same. I sat up slowly and made sure my hood was still covering my eyes. Surprisingly enough it still was. As I busied myself with readjusting the rest of my clothing, Twilight and some gray Pegasus with a blonde mane and crossed golden eyes stared up at me. Twilight gave a moderately worried look while the gray one just looked ashamed. “I’m sorry mister! I really didn’t mean to bump into you!” I cocked my head in curiosity and I assume the Pegasus finally took in my appearance because she cocked her head as well. I broke out of my stupor seconds later and stood. I gave my surroundings a long look. Ponies were watching me, probably wanting to see how I’d react. The only thing that bothered me in the slightest was the fact that my pancakes were all over the ground. I got back on my knees and gathered up the pancakes and stacked on the somewhat dirty plate. I stood to my full height and put a hand over my heart.

“Farewell, my friends.”

“Rowan It’s not that big a-”

I shushed her. “I’m mourning, Sparkler. Quiet down.” She looked at me like I was mourning food. Oh, wait. I cleared my throat. “It was good while it lasted. I mean, sure. You would’ve croaked one way or another, but I just thought… it wouldn’t be like this… I-I’m sorry.”

They were probably dry as fuck anyway. No syrup equals no life. Your acting skills suck too.

The crowd of onlookers probably felt super awkward and understandably so. Twilight looked like she wanted to say something, badly. The gray Pegasus had tears in her eyes. Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I smiled. “Well now that that’s done, may I ask your name, miss?” She busied herself wiping tears from her eyes with a foreleg. An actor possibly? Once she finished with that she had a smile as bright as my own. She dug into a bag with her hoof and pulled out a muffin. She held it out to and introduced herself.

“I’m Ditzy Doo!” I grabbed the muffin from her impossible grip.

Quite the name. I think I'll enjoy her company. I chuckled a bit; not at my mental companion or Ditzy but at Twilight. She looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel.

"Are you really about to leave my plate on the ground?" I laughed a bit louder but aside from that, ignored her. My focus is on the bubbly mare in front of me.

So for clarification’s sake I’ll say this; you just made an unintended pun. How, you’re asking? She’s got bubbles on her ass.

What? Sure enough, she had seven bubbles on each side. Once I was finally informed I started taking notice of the fact that every pony within my field of vision had some sort of symbol on their rear. Weird. “I’m gonna call you Bubbles, Ditzy. Is there any reason you were in such rush?” I took a bite of the muffin. Fantastic.

“Rowan,” Twilight interrupted, oh so rudely. She had the plate of pancakes in her telekinetic grasp once more. “It’s great that you’re making a friend and all but we really must be on our way to Fluttershy’s.”

Way to kill the mood, Sparkler.

I know right? Probably just jealous that you gave another pony a nickname. The smile that was plastered on my face then became an extremely painful grin and I tried my best not to waggle my eyebrows at Twilight. That would’ve been awkward.

Ditzy brightened up after hearing Twilight’s statement. “That's right!” she said cheerfully. “I have a letter for Miss Fluttershy!”

Hearing that, I pulled her bags from her back and slung them over my shoulder. I picked up the cheerful Pegasus so she was tucked under my arm. She giggled at that. Twilight wasn’t nearly as happy. “Then let’s get going!” My voice was filled with plenty of false bravado. I began to walk with the giggling Pegasus in my hold and Twilight begrudgingly moved with me. She decided to go right back into her explanation of Nightmare Moon.

“Overcome with rage, Luna— or Nightmare Moon at that point— struck out against Celestia. The book doesn't go into detail on whether or not it was a full-scale rebellion or a single strike against Princess Celestia but I believe it was the latter. *Ahem*. So, using the Elements of Harmony, Princess Celestia banished Nightmare Moon to the moon. Nightmare Moon was trapped there for the last millennium.” Ditzy, despite still finding her current position in my arm funny, seemed to be listening just about as much as I was. Which is to say almost listening. However, Twilight had said something I wasn't going to let go unpunished.

“Sparkler. This was all in a book, right?” She nodded. “And you read this book, correct?” Another, slower nod. “So why the Hell were you surprised when Celestia announced who she was?” Silence. We continued for a second before I glanced over to Twilight; she had the most dumbfounded expression on her face. I cleared my throat. “Anyway, none of that really explains why you and your friends were at the ruins to begin with.” Or why I have somebody else's eyes for that matter.

Would you believe me if I said I’ll tell you later? I didn't think I would considering that he seemed to exist for the sole purpose of being a pain.

Twilight jumped into another explanation as to why she and the others had been where they were but I tuned her out. I’d just about stopped caring and wished more than anything that we could reach Fluttershy’s.

"Hey, Mister. Why do you have cuffs on?" Ditzy was making an effort to poke at my wrist and honestly, that probably wasn't the best course of action.

You gonna tell them? I had no reason not to so I gave a nod. Though, that must've seemed strange from an outsider's perspective.

"You two are gonna love this," I started, a smirk spreading across my mouth. "Your princess thought it was a great idea to lock up a dude who fell from the sky— and almost died from it too." Ditzy was looking up at me, her eyes shining with curiosity. Twilight however stopped in her tracks.

"THAT WAS YOU?" I put my free hand over an ear. I scowled and bent over so that we were eye level.

"YELL A BIT, LOUDER NEXT TIME, WOULD YA? I DON'T THINK I COULD HEAR YOU OVER THE CROWD OF SILENT PONIES!" Twilight's ears pinned back as she flinched at my tone. I stood back up and sighed. The 'crowd of silent ponies' stared at me like I just shot their grandmothers. At my staring, they returned to their business "Don't yell, Sparkler. You could hurt somebody's e—"

"Don't you mean somepony?" I looked down at Ditzy. She looked absolutely unfazed by the shouting.

"I'm not a pony." I made sure to finish that quickly. I glanced back at Twilight, smiling. "So what were you saying?"

"Earlier this week, something- supposedly you- fell from the sky above Canterlot. It landed"— If you can call that a landing.— "a lot faster than I 'd anticipated so I went to get a closer look. The guards, of course, wouldn't let me get close to the landing site so I went to Princess Celestia to ask permission to study whatever it happened to be. She told me that she would let me later once she found out for sure and that I should simply continue on with my studies. I had no idea it would be anything like you," Ouch. "nor did I know why the Princess withheld something so important from me."

"Maybe she doesn't trust you nearly as much as you think." Twilight was aghast.

"Of course she trusts me; I'm her student!" I rolled my eyes at the mare. At that moment, Anonymous and I agreed on something, though it was only I who spoke it:

"Whatever the case is, you need to realize that simply being somebody's student isn't going to change how trustworthy you are. Especially if you're so naive as to think she's obligated to trust you."

After that, we walked in silence.

Author's Note

I'm so sorry but for the sake of my sanity this story- and one more- is going on hiatus.
That way I'll only be writing two stories at the same time.
Also I'd rather not start suffering from carpal tunnel while I'm young.
Oh yeah. Mr. Head Voice will have a name. I'm not doing some weird H/AIE. Just HIE.
Although, I feel that Mr. Head Voice is going to be just as offensive as other Anons.

Update: Came through and gave this a round of editing, for my own sake.

The Day After: Part 2

I knocked on the door impatiently. Ditzy had long since left her spot under my arm and was on my right side, shuffling in an antsy manner. I didn't know what had her so twisted but for me, it was the animals. Surrounding Fluttershy's little cottage, animals of all kinds— chickens, squirrels, bunnies, flamingoes— all frolicked about.

Well, they would've been frolicking had they not had their attention set on me. The chickens, though, they were really getting to me; their beady eyes were quite disturbing. Chickens, flighty creatures as they are, were bothering me.

Rowan, I beg of you, what's-his-name pleaded, Do us all a favor and open the door. I honestly wanted to do just as much, but I felt it would be rude. So I took an alternative course of action.

"Fluttershy, open your blasted door!" I shouted up towards the second story window with a bit more ferocity than necessary.

Twilight, who had been patiently standing to my left like a good little filly, grabbed my hand with her glow stuff and pulled it away from the door.

"Rowan, please," she began and I was already weary of her tone. "There's no need to be so rough with the door. She'll come down in her own time and if she doesn't, we can always come back later."

"Well, I don't see you knocking and you're the one who brought me here," I smirked at her, satisfied with my own response.

"Maybe she's sleeping?" Twilight and I turned towards towards Ditzy who had stopped her shuffling. "I heard from Pinkie about the night you all had, so maybe she's tired?"

At least one of us has a modicum of intelligence, I thought to myself. I was, however, delighted to see that my earlier confusion at the activity of the town was not unfounded.

I raised my hand to knock again but this time the door opened before my fist connected. I gazed into the doorway, expecting to find a sign of our quarry, only to find nothing. Aside from a cluttered home, chock-full of almost anything relating to animals— including animals. For a second, I considered stepping inside but a tap on my foot drew my attention. I looked down to see a rabbit. A rabbit that somehow looked irritated.

We all stood in silence— aside from Ditzy, who was already digging through her saddlebags.

"Um. Hello?" I looked at Twilight as if she were an idiot.

It's a rabbit, for Pete's sake! That brief thought was kept brief because the shadow in the back of my head deemed it necessary to interject. [color=265daf]First, it's a bunny. Second, it did open the door and seems to be listening to Twilight.

"We're here for Flu—" I pushed Twilight to the side. An action that was followed by a thump. I couldn't be bothered to look.

I cleared my throat. "My associate here,"— I gestured to Ditzy— "has come across a pressing issue. She was informed by... Who told you to send this?"

Ditzy wasn't fazed by the sudden address. "Ponyville Mail Service, mister!" I smiled. She managed to fit into the role perfectly.

"Yes. My associate was notified by Ponyville Mail Service that a letter needed to be relayed to one 'Miss Fluttershy'." Ditzy handed me the letter, accompanied by a salute. Cute. I continued. "If you could give her this letter, we'd be grateful."

The bunny, who up until then had been watching with a facsimile of a confused expression, slowly took the letter from me before hopping back into the cottage. The door closed behind it. Surprised that worked.

Twilight chose this moment to pick herself up off the ground, groaning and rubbing her head with a hoof. "Rowan was that really necessary? You pushed me into the fence!"

Turning to Twilight, I opened my mouth to give some open-ended question as a response but was interrupted by the cottage door coming ajar. Quite slowly. My head swiveled back towards the cottage. Fluttershy stood in the doorway, her mane in what was probably the neatest bedhead I'd ever seen.

She looked at me first— reasonable, given my size— however she did not speak to me first. She instead gave me a small smile, likely to show she acknowledged me, before making to greet the others.

"Hello, Ditzy. Hel—" She let out a gasp. "— Twilight, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. No need to worry, Fluttershy." She briefly glared at me. Unfortunately, Fluttershy saw that and turned her gaze to me. We stared at each other, briefly, before she turned to Ditzy.

"Thank you for bringing me that letter, Ditzy," she said, likely choosing to ignore me for the moment.

Ditzy let out a nervous giggle. Or perhaps it was embarrassment. "It was no trouble, Fluttershy. I should get going, but it was nice seeing you again. And it was nice meeting two as well." I gave her a quick thumbs up before she flew off.

As I watched her soar, I could very clearly feel someone's gaze boring into my spine. I refused to turn around and only took some steps away from the door so I could collect the fallen pancakes while ignoring the shards of ceramic(porcelain?). It was a quick task so when I turned back to Twilight and Fluttershy, their expressions showed no signs of impatience. Twilight, of course, still looked peeved.

I cleared my throat. "So," I began, load held carefully in my palms. "who wants pancakes?"

Twilight and Fluttershy watched with a strange sort of curiosity as Rowan sat cross-legged on Fluttershy's living room floor, scarfing down pancakes. That is to say, Twilight watched with curiosity while Fluttershy watched the grimacing man with increasing worry as he constantly went into coughing fits.

She and Twilight sat on a couch directly in front of Rowan, each drinking their own cup of tea. She had offered him tea beforehoof but, after what seemed to be silent communication between her two guests, Rowan had refused.

She couldn't make heads or tails of that.

To her left, Twilight let out a sigh— hopefully, one of contentment.

"Thank you for the tea, Fluttershy." The aforementioned Pegasus smiled.

"It's no tro—" Fluttershy was interrupted by Rowan's coughs. She gave him a small smile before asking, "Are you sure you don't want any tea, Rowan?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he replied. He moved to tear off another piece of his pancakes but stopped and swished his tongue around the inside of his mouth before continuing on. This time he didn't choke. "Tea is basically hot water with a flavor and I'm really ready to lose my taste buds 'cause I was feeling kind of thirsty."

Fluttershy's smile faltered a bit but she continued. "Do you want some water then?"

"You're a persistent one, aren't you?" Her smile became a bit more nervous. He chuckled before continuing, "Sure sure, I'll have some water; give me some of that life-giving liquid." At that, she let out a relieved sigh before setting her teacup on the coffee table and making her way to the kitchen.

Standing on her hind legs, Fluttershy opened up a cabinet only to see it was rather empty. She frowned before giving herself a silent reprimand. Why had she planned on giving him a teacup when he'd asked for water? She settled back on all four hooves before moving to the cabinet under her sink where she kept the glasses.

She pulled a glass from the cabinet and held it in her hoof in silent contemplation. She wasn't exactly prepared to serve guests water. She had plenty of juices in her refrigerator and she did have fresh water on hoof but that was set aside for her animal friends...

Tap water then?

She decided that would do and made to turn on the faucet but froze when she heard Rowan speak up from her living room.

"So what's eating you, Sparkler? You look upset," she heard him start casually.

Twilight replied in a not-so-pleased tone, "I'm upset because you pushed me into Fluttershy's fence!" Fluttershy let out a gasp, dropping the glass she was holding in her mouth. Quickly, she grabbed at it with her hooves and managed to not fumble it. She let out a relieved sigh before setting the glass on the counter and perking her ears to listen. There was a large part of her that was reluctant to eavesdrop but her curiosity won out.

"Aw come on, Sparkler. I thought we were friends." Fluttershy didn't know Rowan very well— or at all, for that matter— but she had the vaguest feeling he was smiling.

"I don't think friends do things like that to each other," Twilight replied solemnly.

Rowan snorted. "I wouldn't know; it's not as if I remember much."

Fluttershy let out a gasp that was echoed by Twilight a moment later.

"You're an amenisac?" Twilight practically hissed.

Fluttershy didn't catch Rowan's response, as concerned as she was. In a worry-fueled rush, she grabbed the glass in one hoof and turned on the faucet with the other. The glass couldn't fill fast enough but she was satisfied— and sure Rowan would be satisfied— she took the glass in both forehooves before flying into the living room.

Rowan's head snapped to her before she even crossed the threshold. It seemed he'd taken his hood off while she'd been getting his water.

Wasting no time she floated over to Rowan and hoofed the glass over to him. Rowan took it from her outstretched hooves and gave her a smile along with a 'Thank you'.

Fluttershy nodded shyly before touching down on the floor, her gaze turned downward. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Rowan, I know we've only just met but I want you to feel welcome here. If you ever need something or ever feel you need somepony to talk to, please don't hesitate to come here. I'll um... I'll try my best to help."

Fluttershy could feel Twilight's gaze on her but did her best to ignore it. Slowly she looked up to meet Rowan's eyes and through his curtain of blonde, she could see them.

His teal reptilian eyes.

She responded in the only way she knew too. He had the eyes, those nightmarishly sharp teeth, and— if she looked real closely— his hair swayed in a nonexistent breeze.

Fluttershy screamed.

Author's Note

Yeah... The wait? Sorry about that. I hope that this was at least somewhat enjoyable.
I've made, like, three blogs listing off excuses for why this wasn't faster.
And I know it's a short chapter but you ought'a be grateful I managed to get this much out.

Prelude to Evil

A clear blue sky. That’s all I can see. The wind whips around me, slicing at me but leaving no marks to say as much. I don’t really understand what's happening but I feel relaxed; I feel like I haven't been this relaxed in ages. Silly, right? I take a breath, trying to capture any scent I can manage. Nothing. Oh well. That just means I have the fresh stuff. I smile at that. I can feel the sun giving off a pleasing amount of heat. Maybe the great gaseous globe has come to swallow me whole. I chuckle. The great, gaseous globe graciously devours its guest. I wouldn't mind being surrounded by this warmth for the length of my existence. I stare into the blue expanse for what I wish could be forever. Soon enough I can make out voices behind me. I can't make out what they're saying but none of them sound very happy. If that's the case, I’d rather not get involved.

After a few moments, I’m able to make out certain strings of dialogue: “What is that?” “What's going on!?” The howling winds pick up once more and whisk away any other bits of speech. Is there some reason they’re all worried? Is there some sort of emergency? As these thoughts stumble throughout my head, my body registers a new feeling: like I’m being pulled by a bit of the universe itself. The sun is shining directly in front of me now.

There it is. Underneath my mirth, there had been a feeling of confusion. I'm aware of what's causing it now because I’m almost certain the sun shouldn't be parallel to my face. Am I falling?! That explains the howling and cutting of the air around me. That would also mean the voices behind me…

… are beneath me.

No sooner than this occurs to me, my freefalling form collides with the earth.

I take a breath. The air is musty and warm. I'm not dead. I inhale once more and the air becomes a bit easier to me to consciously breath. Eventually, I stop forcing myself to repeatedly inhale and exhale. It's much easier if I allow it to occur naturally. I open my eyes and gaze lazily about. I’m currently in a cubic room. I’ll assume that this room has a length and width of almost two of me lying straight on my back. That's alright I guess. Directly in front me is a large metal door and considering the lighting that's pretty much the extent of what I can see.

I open my mouth and attempt to speak, only to immediately cough violently. A small rectangle moves in the door and I am promptly blinded. The slot remains open so I attempt to speak again. “Hello?” This time it comes out as a raspy whisper. My throat is unbearably dry and simply saying ‘Hi’ hurts quite a bit. I take a deep breath, preparing to about but the slot shuts as quickly as it had opened. Behind the door, I can hear awkward shuffling followed by a series of muffled clops. I release a disheartened sigh and set about returning my vocal cords to working condition.

After minutes of conversing with no one but myself, my ears detect the sound of shifting metal. I stare, as the door before me turns on old hinges. The grinding is an assault on the ears and if I had the energy I would be trying my best to block out the noise. The door finishes it gruesome journey and in its place stands a four-legged creature with wings and a horn. I watch the creature as its hair blows in some unseen breeze. I stare for a bit longer but my interest quickly fades. I decide to speak up now.

“Excuse me. May I have some water?” Thanks to my grueling training my voice is a bit clearer than before. Speaking is still painful though. The creature nods in response. It’s horn glows and almost instantaneously a glass of water appears on the floor before me. I reach out with both hands and grasp it in my hands. I finish the beverage within seconds and give a sigh of satisfied relief. The tall white creature before me opens its mouth and speaks. “Since we have gotten that out of the way I believe introductions are in order,” it— or rather she I should say— says. “I am Princess Celestia, the current ruler of Equestria. And you?”

“I am…” Who? Who am I? That’s weird; I can’t seem to remember. I don’t know. Why hadn’t I caught on to this earlier? The supposed Princess notices my hesitation and gives me a concerned look. I squeeze my eyes shut in concentration but my name, my identity, continues to elude me. My frustration continues to build until a wave of forced calm comes over me- though I can still feel it niggling in the back of my mind- I come across a singular word.

Rowan.

It’s a familiar word and can very well be my name. I still can’t be sure so I give it a shot. “Rowan," I say, albeit hesitantly so I try again. “I’m Rowan.” This time it feels so natural. My name rolls freely and comfortably over my tongue. I smile giddily. “Yup. That’s me.” The Princess doesn’t stop with the look she’s giving me practically killing my momentary joy. I decide to change the subject.

“Where exactly am I?” She sighs. I’ll assume the Princess is aware of my pathetic attempt to divert her attention. She opens her mouth to answer regardless.

“You are currently within the dungeons beneath Canterlot. Would you care to know why?” I don’t really have a choice.

“Yes please,” I reply politely. She is a ‘Princess’ and the way she said it made it sound like the top rank.

She clears her throat. “I will give you a simplified version. A few days ago a Pegasus from the Royal Guard reported an object descending at a velocity that made it rather unsafe to attempt stopping and as such citizens were evacuated from the area of its predicted point of impact. Upon impact the object created a crater several times its own size, damaging the surrounding buildings. Later investigation showed that this object was instead a living being; one that should have died from a fall at that speed. Of course, this being was you. And this” —she says, motioning to the walls around us.— “was a precaution in the case that you proved to be a threat.” Not exactly ‘simplified’ but I wanted details anyway.

“Oh. Well, how did I fare in that aspect, Princess?” I’m legitimately wondering but she smiles gently and says, “I believe you have done rather well in proving you are docile if not harmless. I apologize for the chains but those were precautions as well.”

“What?” I say, noticing the obnoxiously loud chains for the first time. “Oh. Well, it's not uncomfortable. I didn't even notice them.” They’re actually pretty comfortable if I disregard the fact that they were made to restrain criminals and whatnot. Actually, no; they’re tolerable under any circumstances. Princess Celestia regards me with the smallest hint of confusion but she ignores the strangeness of my statement, proving to be rather kind instead of downright suspicious.

“Well," she says, moving as if to leave. “I have somewhere to be so if you would like to continue this conversation I must remove your restraints.” This last bit sounds as if she’s enjoying herself, though I can't really be sure.

“Not really. You could always just break the chains; I’m fine with just the cuffs”, I say, sounding far too cheery. Drat. The Princess seems thoroughly amused at my response, her smile growing a bit brighter. Regardless her horn lights up and I feel the chains holding me slacken. I stand up slowly, hoping my legs won’t suddenly give out. Once I’m sure I’ll stay upright I begin brushing off my pants which seem to be covered in dirt. I keep brushing until I reach my pocket in which something solid resides. After a few seconds of fumbling, I manage to retrieve the item. In my hand is a small rectangular object made of varying metals and plastics. The way it fits in my palm is all too familiar and yet its meaning is hidden from me. I sigh. One of many things I’ll end up adding to the list.

“Actually don’t you need these?” I inquire. It was my suggestion to break them after all. The Princess didn’t seem to mind, though.

“We hardly have any use for these cells anymore. If you wish to keep those than I see no reason to stop you.” With that, Princess Celestia turns away and I follow, cuffs hanging awkwardly on my wrists.

Celestia turns to address her guards, asking if her chariot was prepared to head off. Well. This is all fine and dandy but it’s probably a pretty huge event if ‘said-title-of-said-nation’ is attending. Why the hell is she letting some xeno show up at the great happening?

“Princess, where exactly are we going?” As I exit the cell the guards, within the fraction of a second I’m unconfined, flank me. Annoying.

“Ah, yes. We are heading to Ponyville for the Annual Summer Sun Celebration.” Really? The Equestrian Princess heading into Pon-. Oooooh.

“Ok. Princess, let’s ignore the fact that I don’t know what this ‘Summer Sun Celebration’ is. You’re a pony? Excuse me but you seem far too… large to be a pony. No offense or nothin’.”

We reach a flight of stairs at which the Princess decides to move in next to me instead of leading. The guards, in turn, bring up the rear. “No offense taken and yes; I am a pony. Though, to be more precise, an Alicorn.” We’ve come up out the dungeon now. The hall we’ve entered is huge with guards placed at set intervals. Strangely, they don’t seem to respond to my presence at all; just saluting as the Princess passes them by.

“What’s an Alicorn?” She looks upwards— I assume at her horn— and flares her wings. A suitable response to my righteously idiotic question. I guess I deserved that. We continue to our destination, Princess Celestia’s and her guards’ hooves making irritatingly loud clop sounds compared to my almost silent footsteps. “Well it seems we’ll be moving for a while so could you please explain some things to me?”

“So you’d like to learn more about Equestrian culture?” A bit specific. We don’t have that much time though.

“Yes and no. I was thinking more as to what this event is. I’ll be glad to hear of your culture later.” Maybe.

“If that is the case then I can explain after the Celebration; I’m sure you will have far more questions.” She’s implying something and I really don’t like how that sounds at all. We come… well, I can’t really say a doorway ‘cause there’s no door but it leads outside. An archway? Anyway, outside is a chariot. A legitimate gold (as far as I can tell) chariot. It’s a closed chariot. By that I mean it has doors on and a roof. I can’t really see from where we are and the chariot is facing away from us but I believe there are guards latched onto the front.

I guess that’s our ride then. It’s got wheels, right?

Our conversation comes to a pause as we make our way to the chariot. Again, I would consider this silence if their hooves weren’t so loud. No offense to the Princess, but hers are the worst. Those gold horseshoes—ponyshoes?— are killing me. We’re standing right next to the chariot and now. Princess Celestia’s horn lights up again and the door is surrounded by a similar glow. The door swings open and she gestures with a hoof for me to step inside so I do exactly that. I’d help her in too but I wouldn’t know how to really do that. Help a pony up without carrying them I mean.

The Princess spares me that trouble when she climbs in after, clearly not needing any assistance. Well that’s just perfect, isn’t it? She closes the door and the chariot begins to move forwards. On the bright side, this chariot has windows on the doors so I won’t be bored out of my mind.

Well. This was unexpected.

The chariot is lifting off the ground. I guess things have gotten a lot more boring. I was pretty intent on watching our surroundings from the ground. Ya know, where I would’ve gotten a much better look at things. I’m a bit more frustrated about this than I should be. Ok. Whatever. Deal with it, Rowan. Think about something besides the very real chance that the guards pulling this thing might accidentally drop us. I’m tired and hungry.

Well, one of those can be solved now.

“Princess,” I start, turning towards the being on my left. “I’m going to rest for now. So if you don’t mind, please wake me when we arrive.” The princess nods in response, not quite looking at me.

Another question for later then. For now, rest first.

I wake with my forehead in pain and probably swelling up. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing what woke me up.

“Are you alright?” a voice asks. The Princess, I assume. “You hit your head rather hard.” Well, that explains that. Must’ve hit my head against a window or something.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine Princess.” I say, massaging my forehead. Definitely swelling up by the way.

“On another note, we have arrived, Rowan.” Thanks for dismissing my injury, minor as it may be. I look through a window and sure enough, we’re in a rather different location. I can’t really say what’s different I didn’t see any of the buildings in that other place but the moon is coming over the horizon so we must’ve been traveling for a while. The moon. The solitary stone soars silently through the sorrowful black sea.

Aaand has a horned pony on it.

Another question for later I suppose.

“Alright then, Princess,” I begin. “Let’s get going.” I try my best to stretch without hitting Princess Celestia.

“Oh. I meant for you to stay in here, but if you would like to attend as well…” I find myself sighing in relief.

“Well if I don’t have to go I’d much rather stay and sleep.” The Princess nods. Once again her horn lights up and the door, covered in the same glow, swings open. The Princess steps out and turns to me.

“Goodbye then, Rowan.” I nod to her and the door closes silently.

I lean back and exhale. I really don’t want to sleep but I’m starving and that’s the only way I can ignore it. I should’ve asked the Princess to bring me some food. Oh well.

I’m falling forwards. It takes me a second to comprehend this and another for me to realize I won’t be able to stop myself from hitting my head. And as such, I accept my fate. Ow. I rub my punished flesh… I’m never saying that again. The pain soon becomes a dull throbbing so I can ignore it now. Now I’m bored and in pain.

I suppose the Princess won’t mind if I show up.

I peer through a window and so far, I can’t really see anybody. Well, that makes this easier. I push the door open and step outside. Looking around there’s nobody out here. I take in my surroundings as efficiently as possible. The chariot is parked by a large building. This particular structure is considerably larger than the surrounding establishments so I assume it’s a rather important building located towards the center of town. It’s also the best candidate for where the Celebration is being held. I’ve already forgotten the name of it.

I walk towards the building, searching for an entrance. If I had to guess I’m probably towards the back. I begin walking around, trying to make my way to the door. I hear malicious cackling above so I gaze upwards. A cloud of starry blue smoke moves through and is quickly followed by a winged pony— Pegasus perhaps?— who quickly begins shouting something or other at the smoke. My gut is stricken with grief. I’m still starving but well aware that something rather dangerous is going on. Unfortunately, my gut has given up on food and wants me to follow that smoke. Best follow my gut then.

Luckily the Pegasus’ attention is caught by something else almost immediately. I take my chance and sprint after the blue mass. I immediately slow to a fast jog. Hunger truly is quite the beast. I run for a good minute before reaching the edge of town and I’m breathing hard now. The smoke is heading into the forest, therefore I can’t afford to stop running.

No matter how painful it is.

This situation; no matter what it is, I want to be in the middle of it. I'm tired of being bored out my mind. I wanna watch this spool of yarn uncoil, exposing itself in its entirety. I’d love to see the epic conclusion to this wondrous night, brought about by the absurdity of things such as chance and fate. I don't care if I die for bringing myself into such things; it wouldn't be fun if there were no risk. My gut is telling me to keep running so if that's what it takes to get some excitement, to gain some knowledge, to get some food then surely I'll—

Ow. Oh no. I grab at the ledge frantically, searching for some sort of grip. Dirt, grass, and pebbles; absolutely inadequate materials are all I can manage to grasp. My arms thrash about uselessly until a bout of morbid fortune allows one to coil around something stable. I pull myself up with a bit of effort. I manage to pull myself onto solid ground and try my best not to collapse. I turn around to see why on earth I just had to hold onto dear life.

A rope bridge. I zoned out and ran across a collapsing rope bridge. Looking into the chasm I feel a deep cold biting through me at the sight. I’m also a bit curious as to how I lost complete awareness of my body but I can worry about that later. Getting away from that is a priority. I glance back in the direction I was presumably headed. There’s a path so I’ll just follow it. I start to jog along the path, this time focusing on my constant pangs of hunger. I’d much rather not be caught unawares. The forest around me sings songs telling of the life within it. It is rather disconcerting being alone in this place. I’m enjoying it, though. No time to revel in it. Right. I must march on. I increase my speed.

My destination isn’t very far from the bridge. It’s a good few minutes— of bouts of jogging and walking— since I got moving and here it is before me; a large, deteriorating castle. Well, at least I hope this is my destination. I haven’t seen the blue cloud since before I zoned out and once I was over the bridge I couldn’t really turn around so naturally, I followed the path. I step through the archway and let my eyes take in the sight of the dilapidated ruins around me. My gut is telling me this is the right place.

“Then where is my target?” Odd way off putting it but it’s the best I can do. I rub my forehead in exasperation— still sore by the way— and close my eyes. When I open them I’m five feet in the air. Blink. I’m sailing through the air and holy Hell this is going to hurt. My back slams into a wall. If I hadn’t been expecting it I would’ve screamed in shock more than anything. Instead, I only let out a pained grunt. I search for whatever could have assaulted me. In my peripherals I can see the smoke seeping from the walls, wrapping itself around my body, trying to pull me through. It’s working. Now if I want to scream I can’t as the smoke encompasses my entire being, flooding my nostrils and mouth.

I want to say this space is black but even that feels wrong. Perhaps I cannot see here; wherever here is. I’m not in pain so that’s a plus. There isn’t any sound either and it’s frustrating beyond belief. This space is vacant; completely void of anything so I am alone with my thoughts.

Though, I guess I’m here so it really isn’t all that empty. I’m the only thing here and without laws and such I can mold this space in whatever way I wish. That sounds dangerous though. A space that bends to the mind of whatever resides within it. It's not as if it'd work though anyway. I sure as hell didn't create this place

…

Jeez, this is boring. I’ve been sitting (floating?) here for an indefinite amount of time and let’s face it; the thoughts of an amnesiac are either focused on who you used to be or how to get your memories back. Even I’m annoyed with myself. If this keeps up, I’ll—

Oh. It seems it’s gotten a bit less empty here. Now I know for certain that this place isn’t black; this undulating mass before me is black and doesn’t blend in. That, I suppose, makes this a colorless void. The dark mass shrinks— or maybe it’s compressing— and becomes a pulsating orb. I blink and a stagnant grey orb appears beside it.

I think I’m about to do the most idiotic thing in my short span of memory. I reach out and grab both. The darker of the two writhes in protest as the other seems to be absorbed into myself. It gives a warm feeling in that arm. The black sphere squirms in my grip so I use my now free right hand to hold it as well. Held between two palms it seems to give in and seeps into my pores as well.

For the first time since this encounter, I take a look around this bleak zone. It’s falling apart at the seams it seems. I let out a soundless laugh. I reckon I’ll come to regret absorbing whatever that was later but a wise man once said:

“There’s no time like the present.”

I’m on my hands and knees and boy does it feel great breath again. If I realized I wasn’t breathing while I was still in that place I probably would’ve panicked. In, out, in, out. Give me that precious oxygen. I roll onto my back and exhale loudly. From… somewhere I hear a collective gasp. Apparently, despite how ‘careful’, I was I’ve drawn attention to myself. Who in their right mind would come into the middle of a forest in the middle of the night though? Don’t call me a hypocrite because you know far too well that I am nowhere near my right mind.

Actually, this is pretty close to how you normally act. I think.

… Later. I’ll think about that later.

That’s probably for the best.

There is a second gasp, practically a perfect echo of the first and in my peripheral vision, there is a blinding white light. Thank the Powers That Be that I’m not looking straight at that. I can hear some garbled (I’m not really paying any attention) sounds that may or may not be voices so I focus and manage to pick up “Princess Celestia”.

That sounds like my cue. I roll onto stomach and— with more effort than it took to pull myself over that cliff— push myself up so I can rest on my knees. I look around. There are other ponies here but I only really to speak to the princess. I clear my throat loudly and those six random ponies jump in surprise while Princess Celestia simply turns in my direction.

“Oh. Hello Rowan,” Well she doesn’t sound peeved. “When did you arrive here?” Okay, she’s calm but the rest are eyeing me like I just threatened to eat their children. Well most of them. The horned purple pony is closest to the princess and looks really curious. There’s a pale yellow Pegasus(?) with a pink mane and tail; she looks frightened but still somewhat interested. The third is all-around pink and a mane like cotton candy; I’m not even sure if she’s registered my presence yet.

“I woke up right before hitting my head. Again. So I got out and—" hunger pang. "— Ugh. Ow.” I’d forgotten my ridiculous need for food up until now. I hold my stomach in starvation-induced pain.

“Rowan, is everything alright?” Thanks for your concern, Princess, but this is your fault.

“I’m hun-” My vision is filled with vivid pink. After a second of complete silence the castle is filled with various shouts of 'Pinkie Pie!' The pony who is presumably Pinkie Pie sticks a hoof into her mane and pulls out a cupcake. What?

“Here you go!” she holds out the cupcake to me.

I’m skeptical— reasonably so— but I take it from her regardless. 'Pinkie Pie' has the largest smile on her pink snout. “Thanks. I guess.” She hasn’t removed herself from her spot in front of me. So I’ve got to eat it huh? I bring the cupcake to my mouth and take a bite.

…I’m done. That was way too good to actually be real. The thing wasn't even covered in hair. I can feel myself starting to smile and if you tasted this you would be too. Pinkie Pie’s smile grows exponentially and that would probably be a lot more terrifying if I wasn’t basking in the afterglow of that culinary masterpiece. “Well. That cupcake was amazing but I’m done so continue explaining the situation, Princess.” She looks a bit… stunned but opens her mouth to address the rest. Somehow Pinkie is already sitting beside the other five.

Princess Celestia walks over and stands on my left. “This,” she says gesturing to me with a hoof. “is Rowan. She,”— Who? Oh, she’s gesturing to somebody else.— “is my younger sister, Princess Luna.” Hold up. Let me see this one. I look over Princess Celestia’s back. Sure enough, there’s a smaller Alicorn beside her. Now I feel bad for not noticing her before. Nothing I can do about that now. Pinkie Pie and co. all seem really surprised by that so I must’ve missed something important while I was in the wall. Well, I’ve heard enough of that.

So. Who are you.

I don’t think this is the time for that.

To hell with that. Answer me.

When you are a-l-o-n-e we can talk. Complications and the like will make it a long conversation. By the way, Celestia’s talkin’ to you.

“Hm?” How am I face down again? I push myself up. “What is it?” I hope I didn’t miss anything particularly important. The princess directed an amused look at me.

“As I was saying I’d like to introduce my student and her friends.” I’m holding back a snicker now. We can do that anytime. I don’t know why that can’t wait until we’re back in town but if she wants to do it now I guess we can. A perk to falling over (I guess) is that they wouldn’t be trying to talk to me while I stared into blank space.

I stand up and stretch. I feel a few joints pop but there’s sound to indicate such a thing happened. “Yeah. Okay. I’m Rowan, as you’ve heard. Now please, introduce yourselves.” Actually, for clarity’s sake, I better add something onto that. “Tell me what you are as well. I’ve been guessing for a while now.” The purple one steps forward diligently.

“I am Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia. A Unicorn. It’s a pleasure, Rowan.” I nod. Now that I’m standing these ponies look ridiculously short. Twilight, for instance, she’s just up to my gut and her horn reaches the base of my sternum. Pinkie Pie takes a huge breath like she’s about to say something really long-winded. I’m not allowing that.

“Hello, Pinkie Pie. I’m going to assume you’re a normal pony,” I hear about three different voices mutter ‘Earth Pony’. I reckon it’s the same thing. “That cupcake was great, by the way.” She still looks she wants to say something but settles for happily grinning and swaying about. I’m not willing to ask why she’s so happy that I complimented the cupcake she gave me.

A blue Pegasus flies into the air, likely to meet my height. I assume she’s about to introduce herself as well. Her mane though; it’s a rainbow. I feel that she would be a lot less painful to look at if her coat or mane and tail were monochromatic rather than… that.

“I am Rainbow Dash. The fastest Pegasus in Equestria!” That was a lot of things; helpful was not one of them. That means literally nothing to me considering one, I’ve only seen about… 5 Pegasi and two, I haven’t actually seen any of them fly. They could be like turtles for all I know.

“Uh huh.” This is going a lot slower than I thought it would. “Ok the rest of you, just give me your names.” Two of the remaining ponies look the slightest bit irritated. The timid one from before just reacts in a barely detectable fashion.

“Howdy, I’m Applejack.” This one is orange and has a blonde mane and tail; both tied into ponytails. At least she listened. “I am Rarity.” That accent is going to kill me. I turn towards the last. She’s practically cowering. Nothing much I can do about that.

“F-Fluttershy.” The previously introduced ponies (sans Pinkie Pie) look ready to groan, hearing her mumble. It’s a miracle I picked up her voice at all. “Well, hello to you too, Fluttershy.” She gives me the smallest nod. This one is making me feel like I did something wrong.

I twist, making my back pop in several places once more and yawn. “So we goin’ or what? I’m tired.” Princess Celestia nods and lights up her horn.

“Um. Princess, shouldn’t you…” Twilight gestures upwards with a hoof.

The Princess chuckles lightly. “My mistake.” Her horn glows brighter and the sun rises into the sky as she adjusts herself so her horn is pointed starkly skywards.

“Well, that’s just plain ridiculous.”

Author's Note

Ugh. ~~Let me know if you spot any typos.~~ I can't be bothered to check a fifth time considering the fact I have other work to do.
Actually. Don't let me know. Just joke about it in the comments. That'll make me feel better at least.
Also to those who won't understand, this chapter is acting as a prologue and as such will be the only chapter in present tense. The rest will be in past tense.
I bet you're thinking it should be the other way around but this is really for everyone's convenience.