Don't Look Back

by Inkwell Prose

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Sad
Length: 2563

Twilight has some heartbreaking news for Celestia.

After what seems like forever as a Princess under the rule of Celestia, Twilight decides she doesn't want to be a Princess anymore. She is ready to move on from her reign... and from this world...

Published 2016-09-17 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-17 20:40:01 UTC

Don't Look Back

She stopped herself from walking through that door and sealing her fate. With a sad sigh, Twilight Sparkle looks down and scuffs at the floor with her hoof. The butterflies in her stomach were acting up again, making her feel queasy and uncertain of her choice. She shook her head; she needed to do this.

Reaching for the door, she stopped again and thought. What would she even say? She had run it through her head a thousand times by now and still couldn't figure out her exact words to say to her. This was hard. She didn't want to do this, yet she did. Maybe it was that scared feeling she kept gaining from her thoughts, or maybe it was that sense of heartbreak she knew was about to ensue after she said what she needed to say. She felt her mind and her emotions drifting farther and farther from reality into the depths of her mind. Shaking her head again, she took a deep breath and opened up the door.

Celestia was looking out the window, gazing at the stars in the night sky. She knew she should be asleep, getting rest for tomorrow's meeting with the Yaks. But there was something uneasy about herself. A feeling she couldn't quite explain with words. Whatever it was, it was eating her alive with mystery. Could it possibly be something with her sister? Surely not, as Luna has learned to let her sister know anything and everything that was going either good or bad in their lives. Celestia decided whatever it was would make its presence known soon, so she would wait for it and gaze out at the stars.

"Hm?" Celestia hummed aloud as she heard hoofsteps towards her door. She waited for a moment, and the echoes from the hall stopped right outside the door, then the night was silent again. She closed her eyes; this must be what her feelings were inquiring to. She waited, and waited. More silence. Surely she wasn't hearing things.

The knob turns, and Celestia prepares for the worst. Thankfully, the entity that came through was only Twilight, her student of many years now. Twilight didn't speak and she didn't look the happiest. It was almost a look of defeat scrawled across the mare's face. Something was definitely going on, and Celestia needed to know what that was.

"Hello, Twilight. I'm surprised to see you. What brings you here so late into the night?" Her voice is soft, calm, reassuring. It was rare for Celestia to not speak in this manner. Over the years, you learn to keep your cool in even the direst situations. That included now when she didn't even know what a potential threat could be.

Twilight looked up at her, "Hello, Celestia. I'm sorry to disturb you. I just feel like there are some important things to discuss with you." Celestia tilted her head. "And I'm not coming to you as a Princess tonight, I'm coming to you as a friend. A long time friend and former student of yours," Twilight inserted quickly.

Celestia gives a simple nod, "Okay Twilight, what is going on? What is so pressing you needed to speak to me about?" she asks, her curiosity rising with each passing moment. Her student went to speak but hesitated. Instead, she put her head down and stayed silent. Celestia walked up to her and leaned down. "What is wrong, Twilight? I have never seen you like this."

The words came out like a bullet. "I don't want to be a Princess anymore," Twilight said, looking Celestia straight in the eyes. The words stunned Celestia's body, causing her to have the sensation of being paralyzed for a few log lasting seconds. Doesn't want to be a Princess anymore? Surely...

"Please explain to me how you came to this conclusion. I'm genuinely curious."

"I-I'm not happy here anymore... All of my happiness left when..." Twilight couldn't even finish before the tears started streaming down her face like a river. Not knowing what else to do, Celestia wrapped herself around Twilight in a warm and comforting hug. Her former student, reduced to tears from all of this. She knew it was hard for everything, especially after that first accident with Rainbow Dash. After that, everything started going downhill.

"I know, Twilight. It's been hard for us all. But you know that it is what was going to happen, right?" Celestia asks.

"Y-yeah, but I never wanted it too, and I can't stand still being here, still alive and breathing with them all gone..." She was talking about her lifetime friends, the girls who were there through everything with her. After Twilight became an Alicorn, she was gifted, or cursed, with immortality to reign. That means that Twilight has now outlived all of her friends, the last one going not even a full week ago. Twilight was still feeling the backlash of the realization of their departures. "Celestia I don't think I can be here without them."Celestia sighs heavily. Part of her always knew this would be happening in the future. Twilight was giving more and more signs with each death, and it was a matter of time before Twilight couldn't handle it anymore.

It all started with Rainbow Dash's accident. Rainbow was in the middle of a flight training with the Wonderbolts. Apparently, there was some miscommunication between the fliers, as Rainbow went right while the others went left. Rainbow hit head first into a first-time flier, sending her straight into the ground. While the trainee suffered only minor injuries, Rainbow suffered a coma that she never woke up from. Her family had to make the choice of pulling her life support.

Applejack followed Rainbow's death. While taking a trip to Manehattan, she was ambushed by the Flim Flam Brothers. It was just supposed to be a little rough-em-up type scheme. Things turned deadly when Applejack tried to run and the Brothers had to silence her... with a knife that Flam had brought for protection. They fled, leaving Applejack to die in a cold alleyway.

These were the only tragic deaths of the fives mares, however. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all died of more natural causes, like age and illness. Even still, their deaths plagued Twilight more and more with sorrow, guilt, and anger. Celestia believes that Fluttershy's passing a few days ago may have been Twilight's breaking point, Twilight's push to give up. It tore her heart apart, even though she saw it coming.

"I can't be here without them," Twilight said again, more calm and clear, "I want to be with my friends, Princess. I want to be with them. Send me to be with them." Silence rang throughout the room. Her words filled the empty air, swimming through the ocean of darkness surrounding them. "Please, I want to be with my friends."

Celestia looked at Twilight and somehow managed to smile just a little. "I knew this day was coming," she said, "I understand your pain, your struggle. I've been through it all Twilight. I have students of mine come and go like the breeze. One moment they are here, the next I am mourning for another lost friend. Only this time, Equestria will lose a Princess, too."

Twilight started to cry again, "I'm sorry Celestia. I need to be with them, wherever they are. I need this."

Celestia put a hoof under Twilight's chin, lifting her eyes to meet hers. "Do not apologize, my friend. I understand. If this is what you want, I can make it happen. I can send you to be with your friends." As calm as she may seem, Celestia was breaking inside. Twilight has always been that special case for her, where she always felt more sorrow, more happiness, more... everything when it involved her. To this day she has never been able to explain it, nor shall she ever be able to.

Twilight nods, "It's what I want, Princess. I want to go be with them." Celestia took a step back and looked over her former pupil. She has grown quite a lot, her face becoming more sunken with time and stress. She now had a few scars about her, one on her cheek just below her eyes, another on her neck, and a third on her right foreleg. Battle scars. Her wings were now larger, stronger, and her horn sharper. Twilight wasn't just a Princess, but a Princess who was also a warrior. But now the warrior has dropped her sword and surrendered.

Celestia closed her eyes, and her horn began to glow. She shot a beam of magic at her bedroom wall, opening up a spiraling yellow and green portal. "Twilight. If this is what you really want, then go through the Gate of Passing and see your friends again. If you do, you mustn't look back. You mustn't doubt your actions. The Gate will tear you apart if you do."

Twilight stared at the portal. The colors danced around in her eyes, casting long shadows of color into the darkness of her pupils. It seemed to be never-ending, a void so vast she would never see anything or anyone ever again. It was intimidating, and she took a step back out of hesitation.

"The choice is yours now, Twilight. I'm not going to hold you back. Through the Gate is what you want. It will take you from this World. Once you go through that Gate, you will die." It was demolishing Celestia to say these words, for she didn't want Twilight to go. She didn't want Twilight to die, yet she wanted her to be happy.

Twilight gulped quietly and stepped up to the Gate. She held out her hoof and grazed the front of it. It was warm, and kind of silky. It sent waves of desperation through her body. Her friends... They were on the other side. She turned around and looked at her former teacher, the one who taught her everything and made her who she is today. Celestia's face was stone, emotionless. Twilight knew what was really going on in her head, though. "Celestia, you know I have to do this," Twilight said.

Celestia nods, "I know, Twilight, I know. They await you on the other side. Whenever you are ready to leave this world." Celestia moved back, giving Twilight more than enough space to free herself.

Twilight kept looking at the Gate, then at Celestia, before finally closing her eyes. "Thank you for the life you have given me. I will never forget you," Twilight said, taking a step into the portal. It glowed brighter on contact, lighting up the room with color. Another step. Celestia couldn't see anymore. The light was glowing brighter and brighter, almost blinding Celestia as Twilight gave way into the void.

Suddenly, the light began to dim and Celestia looked towards where Twilight was just moments ago. She was gone, as well as the Gate. It was dark and silent in her bedroom once again. It felt as if a part of her was just ripped from her body and sent away forever. Celestia was never a crier, but tonight was a different story. As it all sank in, Celestia wept, knowing she would never see Twilight again.

Blackness. This was all Twilight could see for the longest time. All of the colors from the Gate disappeared as soon as her whole body was through. Then the realization hit, she was never going back. She would never see Celestia, or Luna, or anyone else she still had back in Equestria. But now she would be able to see her friends again.

Twilight tried stepping forward, only to hear a loud echo of her hoof hitting the void below her. There seemed to be an invisible floor beneath her. She kept walking, not knowing where she was going. She looked around, searching for any sign of light. Nothing. Maybe she just had to keep going.

Suddenly, Twilight ran smack into some sort of barrier, sending her stumbling back. Regaining her focus, she held out her hoof and felt the barrier. She hit a knob; is it a door? Grabbing hold of the knob, she turned it slowly, preparing for whatever it may open up to. With a pull, the door swung open, and the darkness turned to light as she found herself back in Ponyville.

Twilight was dumbstruck. Ponyville? How was she here? There was no way this was real. She left Equestria; she isn't even alive anymore. How is she back in Ponyville again? Twilight's head spun with questions as she looked around. She saw Sugarcube Corner, the Carousel Boutique, even her castle which still loomed above the rest of the town. How was this possible?

"Twilight? I-Is that you?" she heard from behind her. That voice, it couldn't be. Twilight spun around quickly, meeting the face of a confused looking Rainbow Dash. Their eyes met, and somehow neither of them could believe they were seeing each other. It was a moment before both of them processed that they were seeing each other for the first time in many years.

"Rainbow..." Twilight barely whispered, "I-I thought you..."

"I did remember? I died from that... This is the afterlife. It's just like our world, only in a permanent state of peace from what I've gathered. But... Why are you here? Aren't Alicorns supposed to be immortal? You can't die. How are you here if you can't die?" Rainbow exclaimed trying to wrap her head around the presence of Twilight.

"Rainbow I..." Twilight didn't know how to say what she did to get here. "I asked Celestia to put me here, so I could be with you guys again..."

"What do you mean, 'put you here'?" Rainbow questioned, trying to piece the puzzle together.

Twilight looks down, "I just wanted to be with you guys again.. It killed me watching you girls live your lives and die before my own eyes, with nothing to do about it. So I told Celestia I wanted to be with you guys again and there was this portal and she told me to go through it and now I'm here and not in Equestria," Twilight finished explaining.

Rainbow was silent for a moment, then spoke softly, "You gave up your life to see us again? You didn't have to do that Twilight-"

"I wanted to," Twilight interrupted, "I missed you all so much and I just wanted to be with you all again." Twilight was starting to tear up, overwhelmed with emotion. It had finally hit her that she would be able to see all of her friends again. She was finally back by their side, back to the early days where they ventured across Equestria and solved friendship problems and fought for Equestria.

"Rainbow, take me to the others. Take me home," Twilight finished, wiping away the tears rolling down her cheeks. And so they went, Rainbow taking Twilight by her hoof and soaring upwards into the sky, leading her to the Castle of Friendship, where she knew the others were. She was finally going to see them again after so long. She was finally going to be happy. She was going home to where she belongs, standing next to her friends and living happily together, forever.