It's a Bakery, Not a Fakery

by Peridork

Rating: teen
Tags: Spoiled Rich, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1154

Pinkie Pie's least favorite customer tries to return a cake.

Pinkie Pie loves cakes. She loves baking cakes for all the colts and fillies of Ponyville. But there is one mare in Ponyville who is completely against good taste and actual cakes.

That mare is Diamond Tiara's mom, Spoiled Rich. And yesterday was Tiara's birthday.

So what if Pinkie made an edible cake. She was not a pony who would be deterred from her beliefs.

This was a bakery.

Published 2017-07-16 20:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-16 20:50:06 UTC

Alternative Lifestyle

Pinkie Pie loved the days that she could work the register and kitchen. Those days let her be more creative, so building a floral pattern out of gumdrops and chocolate wasn't out of the question. She knew how to make the grandest of cakes for every occasion and usually the customers loved the work she did.

If Twilight could have boiled down what baking was- she'd probably say that "baking was the creative process put down into a easily recognizable formula for ponies." Pinkie Pie just called baking fun for the whole family.

Pinkie heard the tinkling bell that told her to go check on the front of the store. Turning away from her new creation of Gumdrop Mountain Madness, trademark pending, she quickly bounded to the front to greet her newest customer.

Sliding to a stop, she lounged on the counter and looked at the face of pure unbridled rage staring daggers into her soul. The face of pure rage that had a timeshare and a few chai lattes- the resident anger magnet, Spoiled Rich. Yes, it was not a good day.

"How may I help you?" Pinkie Pie asked sweetly to hopefully dislodge this situation from going DEFCON Pink.

Spoiled Rich drew back in disgust like she was slapped in the face for being talked to. "How may you help me? How may you help me!? Well that's a fantastic question to ask when you ruined my daughter's birthday party by loading her cake with pure death and horrible things. I told your manager to give me a non-dairy, gluten free, chocolate free, vegan cake with no frosting that would set off my daughter's horrible allergies that would send her to the hospital. She's a sickly pony. And you gave me a cake that was so chocolate covered I thought it was a literal pile of-"

"Well I tried create an experience that would fit better for a party."

"Were you raised in a barn? I was continuing my point and look how horrible you are treating me. I was just trying to say that your establishment here will be getting the worst review I could ever write and I'll post that in the newspaper cause I know people and they listen to me."

Pinkie Pie breathed deeply. "Okay, can we please get back on the cake issue. Did everybody love the cake I made?"

"No. They adored the cake. But that's not the point. That wasn't the cake I ordered and going by the rules of business: the customer is always right and so I need a complete refund since you completely ruined my daughter's day. You really should be fired for being so terrible at your job."

Pinkie Pie's eye twitched. "Thank you for the compliment. I will bring that up with the Cakes and they will decide on that."

"I hope they do because you made me have to cancel my day protesting Ponyville General for handing out autism by vaccinating foals. I read in my magazines that the whole health care system is corrupt and evil and yet here you are ruining my day by making some cake I didn't want. See I'm spreading the good news that people want to hear and you are keeping me from doing it."

Pinkie Pie shook. Her eyes narrowed and she went from happy go lucky Pinkie Pie to not happy Pinkie. "Well that might be a good thing."

Spoiled Rich stood staring at Pinkie, mouth agape. "What did you say to me?"

Pinkie Pie gripped the edge of the counter to keep balance. "I said maybe that is a good thing you aren't going there. Because all I have heard so far is how you are completely opposite to me. I read that order for your 'cake' and it made my insides shake in complete butterfly having horror. I want ponies to be happy in their birthdays or anytime they are in some kind of distress. I gave Diamond Tiara a cake she wanted, not you. And I'm ruining your day? Here you are talking to me about boycotting a hospital. Hospitals are great places- I babysit for the Cakes and they got their kids from Ponyville General. Are you trying to keep them safe from vaccines? Are you serious? I asked Twilight about that same stuff when the Cake Twins were born and she came back with scientific studies about that same topic. Are you sure you are doing the right thing cause it sounds more like you are completely focused on yourself and not others." Pinkie Pie breathed. "And a few more things before I ban you from the store. . .your activism about autism. Are you sure you are more about saving kids from evil vaccines or that you are just worried that your kid will be born abnormal."

Spoiled Rich did not answer Pinkie for a few moments. Taking a large breath, she tried to continue her diatribe until realizing that she had far better things to do than debate with a pony that didn't even own her own business. "Now listen here you pink pony, now I will definitely never come back here."

"That's fine, we get a lot of customers who like my cakes. Though I might be closing up shop for the day. I mean there's this thing I just realized I have to go to. I guess. I mean the Cakes do let me go out sometimes on breaks since they do trust me more than you ever would believe. And it seems like I might have to do something good for the world too. Hope you have fun at the protest. Do you want a refund for the cake though? That seemed real important."

Spoiled Rich shook her head and glared at Pinkie as she silently walked out of Sugarcube Corner, slamming the door behind her.

Pinkie Pie sighed the biggest sign of relief ever. "At least I made Diamond Tiara's cake the right way."

Pinkie Pie remembered the filly coming in an hour after her mother and talking about how horrible her mom was and what her cake dream was. Pinkie was one to please and if a pony had to deal with that every day of her life as a parent, Pinkie wasn't at all surprised why Tiara was a mess and a bully. Pinkie tried to stifle a giggle at Spoiled Rich. All the mare wanted was a refund and to never come back. Pinkie never told her that the cake she send to the party was created at no charge to her.

"Well I try to run a bakery around here. Not a fakery." Pinkie Pie bounced into the back room and continued on her cake. "I wonder if the hospital might like a special cake delivery. . ."

Author's Note

Something short, dumb and I guess political I came up with.