"Lyra, really? Again?!"

Both Lyra and Rose looked up to see an earth pony mare glaring at her angrily. "I leave you alone for one instant!"

Rose fell backwards off of Lyra even as Bon Bon came walking in and grabbed her friend. "We are going home right now!"

Lyra reached out a hoof towards Rose. "No, wait!"

"No waiting." Bon Bon glared over her shoulder. "You can say 'hello' to your 'friend' some other time. You said you'd help in the store today, and guess who's not at the store?"

Lyra wailed even as she was hauled away, but nothing would stop her angry friend.

Rose gave a soft blink in the direction Lyra had gone in. She was glad she hadn't been busted, but that was far from how she had planned to end that meal. She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting that deliciously sweet love that had filled her belly. It wasn't a 'proper' meal, but it did leave her a lot less famished than she had been at the start of it.

She played back bits of what they had done together in her mind as she slowly got herself out of the bush. Yes, she did have to keep Lyra in mind. That was delicious, and maybe a little fun. It wouldn't be her true sustenance, but she felt so much better, having at least a stopgap.

It was a new day! Full of possibility!

Noah didn't plan to waste it. He had a thousand questions, and he knew one pony that would answer them. She loved reading and information, so she had to know all about it.

He strode purposefully through Ponyville, aimed for the large castle up on the hill. Its large purple crystal was hard to miss.

"Hey Noah!" called out Carrot Top, waving from her carrot stand. "You eating right?"

Of course the veggie seller would ask that. Noah had to smile. Carrot seemed nice enough as ponies went. He dug out a bit and flicked it towards her and got a small bundle of three carrots flung back at him. "Here you are! Eat up! They're good for your eyes, you know."

And so he continued, crunching all three carrots in tandem without removing them from their bundle. The walk to Twilight's was considerable, and usually quiet. There was only so much enjoying of idyllic scenery he could enjoy in a day. Soon, the carrots were gone, but he was at the castle.

He rapped on the door lightly.

"Coming!"

Spike threw open the door. "Oh, hey Noah!"

"Hello, Spike." He offered a hand and it was met with a claw. Being two of the only fingered members of Ponyville, their handshake was secret just by being a normal handshake. "I had some questions for Twilight, if she isn't terribly busy?"

Spike drew his claw back to hike a thumb into the castle. "Come on in. She's busy readin' somethin' or other, you know, the usual."

Noah nodded. "I won't be bothering her, will I?"

"Pfft, as if. Twilight!" He shouted the last as he wandered into the castle. "Noah's here to see--"

A bright flash interrupted his words as Twilight appeared with a smile that was just a bit too wide. It was a shame Noah missed it. "Noah! Just the pony I wanted to see. I have so many questions to go over with you."

Noah blinked in surprise as he closed the door behind him. "Uh, hey. Actually, I..." He didn't want to piss off Twilight, Princess. "Sure?" He could answer a few questions. What would the harm be?

"Great!" Twilight turned and began trotting away. "This will advance science! Why, the book may even... Oh! Can you even imagine?!" She squealed with delight, though Noah had no idea what she was so happy about.

"So...?"

Twilight pushed open a door with a hoof, showing one of many libraries in the castle. "We'll perform the interview here. Go ahead, get comfortable." Her horn glowed as she brought over a large pillow and set it down for Noah.

He accepted the seat. A chair would have worked, but a pillow was what he was going to get at that moment. He sank into its softness. "Alright, fire."

Twilight smiled as a pad of paper appeared beside her head with a floating quill. "Alright! So! Have you successfully engaged in the courting ritual of your species?"

Noah stared at her. Part of him wanted to simply cease existing, to curl up and die. Sure, he had... But like that? "Buh..." It wasn't even a proper noise! He could do better. "Wha?"

Twilight tilted her head. "Your species, homo sapiens isn't it? Even the name speaks of your mono-cultural origins. The very idea that any species on this world could call itself 'same' without coming off looking oddly for it." She rolled a hoof. "I'm getting distracted. So, have you?"

Noah's fingers fidgeted. That was definitely not how he saw the conversation going, still, it was kind of related. "S-sure. I mean, I never got married--"

Twilight leaned forward, her quill scribbling madly in her magic. "Your species has marriage as well? Monogamous? Lifelong?"

Noah wilted a bit under her enthusiasm. He just had to answer... "Um, yes, and we try, but it doesn't always work out."

"Fascinating." She stuck out her tongue a little as she wrote much more than what he'd directly said. "So... Do you prefer females with moderately, significantly, or extremely engorged mammary glands?"

"What?" he asked in a tiny voice. Did Twilight just ask...

Twilight made a round gesture with a hoof. "How large is your ideal? Am I correct to assume it can vary widely?"

"Y-yeah." He was being asked about breast sizes by a frighteningly powerful purple princess of ponies. "I..."

Twilight inclined her quill at him. "Don't look so distressed. I'm not judging you, Noah. Just tell the truth."

The truth... right... How?! "It depends on the rest of the woman," he tried. "There isn't anything wrong with a slim woman, or a curvy one. Healthy is what--"

"Of course!" More scribbles. "Like most species, you're attracted to health and vigor, positive traits that show good breeding and ability to breed. So the direct size of a female's glands doesn't reveal much about their health then?"

"I never... thought about it that way..." His voice was getting tinier with every word. He was getting certain he was literally dying of shame. Breathing was getting hard.

"Noah."

He blinked, a breath coming in a loud gasp. Twilight was looking at him with concern.

"Noah, I'm serious. I just want to know for science. I swear, I'm not here to judge you." She waved a hoof. "Besides, it's not like there's a female human anywhere in sight, and even if there was." She put a hoof on her chest. "You have my solemn oath that I wouldn't share these findings with her." Her eyes slid off of him. "Of course, should she find them after publishing..."

Noah thrust his hands forward as he fought to his feet. "N-no, that's... That's fine. Actually, this is kind of why I came." He tried to turn it around before it came back on him. "I think this mare is... attracted to me, and I didn't want--"

Twilight hopped closer. "Oh wow! You? Really! This is fantastic." The writing never ended. "You're willing to engage in a courting ritual with a pony? Please let me monitor this! Please please please!"

"T-Twilight!"

Twilight leaned on her hind legs and clopped her fore hooves together with joy. "I'll be quiet and just watch. I swear! Ohhhh, please say yes! I have to document this historic occasion. You've been so cooperative before."

Of course he was. She was always kind of pushy, and he was a doormat when it came to some things.

"I'll make it worth your while."

Noah blinked at that. "How?"

Twilight batted her eyelashes softly. "I knew I'd get your attention. If you say yes, you'll officially be working for me, and doing a favor for the future of Equestria." She thrust a hoof up. "Just think of it. I'm the Princess of Friendship, and you're literally conducting research about the nature of friendship between two wildly different species." She grinned that too-wide grin. "I have to be there! Who's the mare?"

"B-blood Rose?" He was overwhelmed. Everything about the situation was a bit too much. "We're not an experiment."

"No no no, of course not." Twilight shook her head. "If you were, we'd be trying to prove something specific, and we'd need a control. No, this is just an observation. Blood Rose?" She tilted her head then. "I don't recognize that name."

"Brown pony, red mane?"

Twilight perked up. "Oh! That actually makes a lot of sense." She knew then why Blood had that book of Noah's. That put a lot of pieces together. "Has she attempted to begin the courtship ritual already?"

"I... think so?"

Twilight gasped with shock. "I'm late! Tell me what she did! Tell me what you did! Leave nothing out!" Her magic nudged him back onto the pillow as she sat beside it, quill dancing away.

So he began the tale of how he came home to find the darkness and roses, and a mare that clearly wanted to be more than just friends. He left out the part about the book exchange, except to note, "She did get me a book, and it's very nice."

Twilight bobbed her head as she went on and on. "I want to see something." She stepped away from him, took a soft breath, then rose up onto two legs. It was obvious she was balancing. She wasn't made for bipedal motion. "Does this increase your attraction to me?"

What a question! Noah wanted to laugh, cry, and run. "You look fine, Twilight, but..."

She tried to even herself out more and pulled in her gut, trying to emphasize the breasts she didn't have. "Now?"

"It's not working, Twilight."

She looked upset a little, but took notes on the effect. "I see." She fell to all fours. "Do you have any attraction by default?" She raised a brow lightly. "I need a baseline."

"You're a very nice mare, Twilight, but you are a mare."

"And you are a human." She nodded. "But that doesn't answer my question."

"Isn't that... wrong?"

"Should it be?" Twilight blinked softly. "It's certainly not standard, but it's not against any law I'm aware of. Ah! Your natural instinct is to be attracted to things of similar build. That's sensible." She bobbed her head. "It's the same reason unicorns tend to be drawn to other unicorns, pegasi to pegasi, and earth to earth. But it's hardly a rule, and interracial couples are far from unknown."

She thrust that quill at Noah. "How attractive am I, to you? Be honest."

Author's Note

This is going exactly according to... No, it's all one big typo that Noah is trying to endure.