Same Life, new Body

by LazyPone

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Human, Main 6
Length: 24192

So a human's taken to Equestria, and is turned into a goo-person. Slimy antics ahead, I guess.

So yeah, uh... I just appear in some magic fart land. No context what so ever besides a blinding-ass light burning my corneas. And being left in some tree with no idea how or who took me here. Much less even how I turned into a slime... thing.

Eh... things could be worse. I could've ended up as some OP mother fucker like One Punch Man in some fairy land.

Not that much different now that I think about it...

Meh... I'm getting off track. Ok... let's see... Oh!

So I wake up in some library. Yeah, nailed that beginning.

Published 2016-09-22 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-04 07:19:30 UTC

Maybe I don't die...

Might as well start small I guess. And moving anything might set them off. So…

“So it does speak...” The tall white one said. I would’ve made a snarky remark. But, yeah… “Can you tell me why you are here?” It asked.

“I honestly have no idea. Don’t even know where I am.” I answered. “Only thing I know is I passed out while drowning before I woke up here.” Huh, that last bit made all of them gasp.

Wait, why did they gasp? They care or something?

Nah, can’t be that. The movies never portray anything being true.

The white one cleared its throat.

“C-can you tell us what you were doing before you… woke up, here?” Whitey asked.

“I was at a pool party with friends. Someone pushed me into the pool as a joke, there was a bright flash of light. A-and you can pretty much guess what happened from there.” And that’s going off on whether this all in my head or not.

God lord, all I can hope is that I'm in a coma at a hospital. At least then I know my family is there.

And at least that situation is better than what currently seems more plausible. ‘Cause really, how can the average human brain come up with shit like this? Talking horses with wings and horns and colors that make all of this look like a three-year-old’s paradise? Please.

Give me a damn break.

“W-well, can you remember anything that may have… brought you here?” The tall rainbow marshmallow asked.

“I d-don't know.” I said while shrugging. Ugh, even that felt weird. Like, I’m all slimey or-

Ooooh, right. Yeah, I’m apparently slimey, form what that pink one said.

Wait. Hold the fuck up.

Did… Did I just believe what an alien said? Did I just really?

Ugh… Yes, yes I did.

Am I truly insane now? Did I just fall off the deep end?

I am inclined to believe that at this point.

“I… I see...” Whitey said while trailing off. While I could only stare; and try to not shit myself. The thing spoke again, it’s head turning at an angle that looks just wrong.

“Twilight, can you show me which spell caused this?”

That’s a name here..?

… Of course it is. What am I thinking? Like a human, I guess.

“O-of course!” The purple one, or, Twilight, said. The two of them walked off. Leaving me with the other… horse things, and that lizard thing. Actually… It looks more like… a short dragon…

Seems legit.

Anyway, I didn’t even think of moving. For fear of giving them a reason to do… well, anything, unpleasant to me.

The tall blue one stepped forward, fuck.

“Greetings, creature,” It spoke. “We suspect thou to be confused. Do not fret, for we mean no harm.” It said.

Yeah, like that’s going to fucking help with the face you’re making, which is completely blank.

Yeah, that piece of pure serial killer face and voice is really calming me down right now.

Yeah.

…

Aaaaaand it’s silent again. Am I sweating? I can’t even tell anymore.

Oh wait, I’m feeling cold all of sudden. Yeah, I can swe-

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! Do you like parties? I like-” The pink horse thing somehow appeared less than two inches away from my face, speaking so fast I couldn’t even tell what it was saying. I tried frantically back away from it. But it seemed intent on staying close, all while spewing words and syllables at me.

“Pinkie.” I heard a voice say. “Thou must keep thy distance from the creature. Thou appear to be frightening it.” Oh, it was the blue one. And did it… did it just save me?

Ok, seriously, what the absolute fuck is going on?

But, the pink one, or Pinkie, froze. Eyes scanning me; seemingly realizing something, and next thing I know, it disappears in a cloud of dust, only to reappear next to tall and blue. What I could tell was an apologetic look on… Pinkie’s, face.

“Oh! Sorry~” Pinkie said in a sing-song tone. “Sometimes I get carried away.”

“We see that, Pinkie. But we advise caution around the creature. We do not know what it is capable of.” Bluey spoke. And while I did feel a bit degraded at being referred to as a creature. But… to them, I really am alien. So… Yeah, can’t be mad at them for that. I’m calling them ‘it’ too either way.

“Uuhm… I-I d-don’t mean harm e-either.” I managed to only barely stutter.

Good progress, I guess. I can speak semi-normally. Where’s my gold medal?

“Thou speak the truth?” Bluey asked. “While we are inclined to believe thine statements. We must practice caution.”

“I… Understand.” I meeped. “If an alien th-thing just appeared out n-nowhere. I g-guess I'd be a little c-cautious too…” I said with a weak laugh.

“We agree to thine sentiments. But we must ask, why art thou still trembling like an autumn leaf?” It asked.

“I… Well… Uh…” I tried to start, but mostly failed in the form of blubbering like an idiot. “I-I’m kinda scared right n-now…” I admitted.

This confused the blue thing, for some reason. I wonder fucking why.

“Pray tell, why art thou afraid?” It asked.

“Eeeeeeh… Well… Uhm...” I was drawing blank, I couldn’t think of a way to properly say that I’m basically besieged on all sides by aliens. At least, without possibly offending them.

‘Cause that’s the last thing I want to do. I quite like my life to remain intact.

But, to my utter horror, the pink one answered that question for me.

“It’s scared because it’s never seen anything like us before! And it doesn’t know what where’re gonna do to it!” It practically sung all that stuff out while throwing its front… legs I guess, around.

But besides that, pure, unadulterated fear filled me when it said all of that, leaving me to turn my head slowly back to the blue one’s face, which was doing the same after turning to the pink one. An unreadable expression to its face.

And that terrified me to the very core of my being.

Time seemed to crawl at a snail's pace, I could only watch that blank look on its face. I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to move…

…

I just wanna go home… I want to wake up from this nightmare, to see my family, mom, dad. I just want to wake up…

I realized I closed my eyes. And I was apparently crying…

Well… What better way to accept my fate? Might as well take it like this.

I froze; something just touched my shoulder.

What? Why is something on my shoulder..?

… Might as well figure out what is I guess…

It was truly a sad scene to the Princess of the Night; Here she was, trying to establish the fact that she, along with her sister and the Element of Laughter and everypony else involved, that they do not plan what the gooey creature thinks they were intending to do. Princess Luna said one, single sentence. And that seemed to have caused the creature more stress, an opposite effect she wanted to have on the creature.

Poor creature. Her heart went out for the thing. For she knows what it’s like to be in that position; to be in a land she knew nothing about, with faces completely unknown to her. She was thankful to at least have her sister and the elements by her side in this odd, new world.

But, here is this creature, experiencing the same, but with nopony to help. Nopony to rely on, nopony to tell it everything will be ok, that in the end, there are good times ahead.

Princess Luna felt an odd connection to the creature. She knew it was due to the situation the creature found itself in. She knew what exactly what it feels like.

And that irked her to no end.

The princess knew at that moment, she had to help the creature whichever way she could.

She realized, all of this did not sit well with her, none of it did. This creature, this innocent, seemingly harmless creature, was in an alien world. Scared senseless, and most importantly to her, afraid.

Alone, and afraid.

It was at this moment Princess Blueberry decided to make it her duty to aid the creature any way she could. She could not stand watching this innocent thing suffer meaninglessly.

Now… If only she can begin to comfort the poor thing. At least, in way to let the creature know she really means no harm.

Sooooo… This blue thing’s been staring at me for a few seconds. I think it looks pensive; like it's trying to figure out what to say next.

But, shouldn't it be..? I don't know, anything else besides looking like it's walking on eggshells?

“We apologize, creature,” Holy shit it's speaking to me, why? Why is it doing that? “we truly mean no ill intent onto thine life. We only wish to send you back whence you came.”

…

…

…

...WAT!?

“... Or, at the very least, we wish to be freinds, creature. We know what it is like to be in thine… hooves; in a land unknown to your own. Unknown ponies looking upon you malignantly. And while we had ponies to trust, thou do not.”

No kidding.

“We wish to rectify this… And we would like to… to become thy trusted friend.” It said.

WHAT!?

It… it wants to be friends with me!? It doesn't want to make me a guinea pig!?

… Maybe this is gonna be like one of those kiddie movies? Maybe I can- no. This all HAS to be some ploy to lull me into a false sense of security. Yeah, that’s it, that’s what this one’s doing right now…

Right?

Yes! That’s exactly what’s going on! Hehe… he… yeah…

“We see you are still hesitant, creature.” It stated like it was a matter of fact.

Fuck…

“Very well, we shall prove to thee we wish thee no harm.” It said while raising its head. “Thou shalt live with me, creature. Under our protection, nopony will be able lay a single hoof onto you. We promise thee, no harm will done to you… Should thee accept.” It said.

…

It does care about me…

I don't know how… I don't know why… But, I'm somehow finding it within myself to… actually trust this thing… I don't… Hah…

I mean… After it said that, the look on its face… And it had this… Friendly, determined aura around it. At that it felt as if I could trust this thing with my life… It actually feels kinda familiar…

But where..?

Oh… I think I know; mom. I've only felt this way around my mom.

This thing is reminding me of my mom…

… Huh. I feel a little better. Not as terrified as before… But still. I can think straight now. I think…

Yeah. Now that I think about it. These things could've done anything if they wanted to at this point. I can only assume if these things really didn’t care about me, they’d be doing things to me already without any ceremony.

It’d just be like Predator, except without the hunting part.

So… I guess I can trust this thing… it did say it knows what it's like to be me right now too…

As much as I want to know what that meant, I really had no choice to comply. But… at least, I think this thing has my back. And that alone makes me kinda feel better…

Aaaaaand I just realized the tall blue one’s been staring at me hopefully. Oh jesus, say something!

“Uuuhm… I-I accept.” I only managed to stutter once, go me. Yay me, yaaaaaaaaws, me.

… Why the fuck did I just think that?

“Huzza!” Tall and blue cheered. “We have made friends with the creature!” It said while throwing one of its front legs up theatrically. It also struck a pose and its… wings, were unfurled. How did I not notice its wings?

Anyway, I noticed movement to my left, and saw that the tall white one and… Twilight if I heard right, walking back in from another room.

“Luna? What are cheering about?” It asked. It was addressing tall bluey.

“Sister! We have most joyous news!” It cheered. To its, sister...

Wait…

SISTER!? The two tall ones are SISTERS!?

Breaking News

So… The tall ones are sisters. The blue one is my friend; practically an ally now. And the white one is pretty much gawking at what the blue one said.

That really doesn’t sit well with me…

“Luna, you're serious?” The white one asked… Luna… Huh, that’s a fitting name for her.

“We are, sister.” Luna said. “We see much of yourself in the creature...” an uncomfortable look creased her face. “One moment.” She said while turning to me. “What do thee call thyself?” She asked.

“Michael.” I answered, finally without stuttering. I think I deserve a platinum medal now.

“Thank you.” She thanked, then turned back to her sister.

“Sister, we see much of ourself within Michael. Too much of ourself.” That was all Luna needed to say, apparently. Since she didn’t say anything else, and her sister caught on to what she said. Luna’s sister adopted an understanding, but wary, look on her face.

“I understand why you feel this way, Luna. But… Are you sure you want to do what I think you're doing?” She asked, and Luna nodded resolutely. “Luna…” She said.

“We know thine concerns dear sister.” Luna said while walking over to her sister. “But we implore thee; give Michael a chance. Plus…” She glance at me briefly before moving right up to the side of her sister’s head. Oh, she whispering something.

The curious part of me wanted to know what Luna was saying to her sister. But at the same time, I really didn't. But… It seemed to be positive for me. Since the white one started looking me with more pity than fear. Luna pulled her head away, her expression unreadable to me since she was facing away from me.

The white one sighed. Fuck, I think I know what's going to happen…

“... Very well, Luna.”

Ooogh, thank you whichever omnipotent being smiling upon me.

“Oh. Thanktheethanktheethankthee Tia! Thee will not regret thy decision!”

‘Tia’? So that's her name. It actually sounds more like a nickname though… Eh, a name’s a name I guess.

“I better hope not Luna. I don't want to lose you again.”

Again? The hell does she mean by ‘again’?

Good lord, so many questions…

“We know. We will not let that happen again Tia. We promise.” Luna said before hugging her sister. The two embraced each other for a moment before pulling away.

“Well, it is settled then.” Tia said, I swear, it really sounds like a nick name. “This creature, Michael, will be under your direct supervision.” She declared. The two smaller ones, and the lizard, gasped at this.

“P-princess Celestia!” Princess!? I knew she had a full name. But Princess!? “Does this mean..?”

Princess… Celestia nodded.

“Yes, Twilight.” She said. “Michael will be taken with us to Canterlot.”

Canterlot? Sounds familiar…

“But… But…” The purple one, Twilight, blubbered. Why..? “I want to perform tests! We could learn so much about this specimen!”

Oh… Well then...

“Twilight.” Princess Celestia started. “I cannot believe I am about to say this; I am slightly disappointed in you.” Oh holy cow. Even I knew that hit hard. “While I do appreciate your fascination with Michael, now is not the time, nor the place; he is not an animal. I sent you to this town to study the magic of friendship as a priority.” Princess Celestia said. I could tell Twilight was about to dribble some form of response, but Princess Celestia continued. “Don’t worry I’m not upset at you, we will continue this conversation after Luna and I help Michael settle into his room. ”Woah, I’m getting my own room? Coooool…

… Heh, I’m definitely insane now. Heheh… Hehe… HAA-

“Luna, stay here. I will go get a carriage for the three of us.” Princess Celestia said right before disappearing a blinding flash of light.

It got pretty quiet after that. The pink one was just smiling, the little lizard just standing there; realization of the awkward silence getting to it. Twilight was just looking down, a bit dejectedly I might add. And Luna, or Princess Luna if my assumption is correct, is just sitting there, patiently waiting.

So we were just... there. Just sitting there in this… Library. Are we seriously in a library?

By the looks of it, yes, yes we are. And it seems to have a second story; there's a staircase off to the side. A- wait. What the… Is… Is everything carved out wood? Yeah! Even the shelves. The hell? It all looks like it's one piece too! How-

There was that bright flash again. And Princess Celestia is back. Um… How is it just now registering to me that she up and vanished before? Oh right, probably because I'm mentally fucked at the moment.

“The carriage be here in a few moments.” She announced.

Oh, ok. I get a new room and a ride to wherever this ‘Canterlot’ place is. Well, I can pretty much guess that Canterlot must be the name for a castle. Since whatever these things are apparently have royalty. That's also kinda confusing; if I really am on a different world, how is it that these alien things are speaking english? And how do they have the same form of government, as far as I know, we had a couple hundred years ago?

Well, this is… I don’t even know how to describe what I’m currently experiencing; I’m sitting in the carriage, that’s up in the air, being pulled by two pegasi; guards of the 'royal guard' to be specific. Sounds British.

Oh, and that’s a new thing I learned, along with a few other things too. Apparently these aliens call themselves ponies, and that there are three sub-races; unicorn, earth pony, and pegasus. I also learned that Princess Luna and Celestia are the two rulers of this country, called Equestria. AND that these rulers are own special sub-race called alicorns. AND that these two control the rising and setting of the sun and moon.

I can hardly believe the last part, but still. I’m sitting in a fucking carriage in the sky, with royalty.

… I think it’s pretty normal of me to feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment. But I think the silence from me is making the Princesses worried. Me thinks.

“Michael?” Princess Celestia called me.

“Huh?”

“You have been awfully quiet, is something bothering you?” She asked.

“Oh, uh. It’s just… all of this is… a lot to take in.” I admitted a little distractedly. “It’s just… I need to process all of it.” Both princesses nodded in understanding.

“We understand young Michael.” Princess Luna said with a smile. “Take as much time thee needs.”

“Yes,” Princess Celestia said. “and I am sure you have questions?” She said leadingly.

“Not exactly…” I said. Both then looked at me, silently asking for me to elaborate. “Well, what you’ve already told me pretty much answers everything.”

“But, there's still the about the sun and moon, and how two pegasi are pulling this thing across the sky.”

“That question can be easily answered!” Princess Luna said. “It is magic that allows us to raise and lower the sun and moon! Which also gifts a pegasus flight.” She answered with the utmost confidence.

I, on the other side of the carriage, was bewildered out my damn mind.

Did- did she just really proclaim they moved the sun and the moon with magic? Or am I just hearing shit? God, I hope I'm hearing things.

“Huuuh?”

“What?” Asked Princess Celestia.

“Did… did you just say you use magic to move the sun and the moon?” I asked, they nodded. “Uh… Sorry, but I have a… hard time believing that.” I admitted.

“Thou do not believe our statement?” Princess Luna asked. To which I shook my head. “Why doth thou not believe us?” She asked with a little bit of an edge in her voice.

“I'm sorry!” I said while pressing myself against the wall behind me. “Magic doesn't exist where I come from!” I held my hands disarmingly and winced.

I just had to say that. I just had to piss them off when everything was looking good for. I just had to fuck it all up!

There was a bit of silence. What for? No clue, I can only see so much in my peripheral.

“I see…” I heard Princess Celestia mutter. “Your kind do not possess any magic? In any form whatsoever?” I could only nod. “Well… That is certainly concerning.”

What?

“Huh..?” I dared a look at the princesses. Confused looks adorning both her and Princess Luna's faces.

“A whole race of beings living without magic? Truly thee must come from a dead world.” Commented Princess Luna.

Seeing as I wasn't probably going to die. I decided to open my mouth.

“Uh, well… It's actually kinda the opposite,” I began. “the world I come has a lot of life on it.”

“Thou speaketh the truth!?” Princess Luna exclaimed. I nodded.

“Forgive us, but, we are having a difficult time believing you.” Princess Celestia said.

“But, it's true.” I argued. “I'm not that intelligent enough to make this of stuff up: we’ve created technology that helps us in our everyday life. We have multiple ways to communicate to each other across different corners of the Earth.” I said.

“Hmm…” Both of them hummed.

“Ah! Sister! We know a possible solution!” Princess Luna said.

“And what might that be?” Her sister asked.

“We can find out for ourselves if young Michael speaks the truth.”

“Oh? Oh! That is right! You can!” She turned to me. “Michael, we would like to ask you of something.” She said, I nodded hesitantly. “My sister, Luna, posses the ability to go into one’s dreams and look at past memories as Princess of the night. Now, please feel free to decline if this makes you uncomfortable, but should you accept. We will truly know whether or not you are telling the truth.”

… Wha..? Haah, heh hhhhhooo…

*Plop*

The creature, Michael, seems to have fallen unconscious, again.

This was quickly becoming something that even Sun Butt worried about. Passing out that many times in one day cannot be healthy for any living being.

“Oh dear.” Luna said while cantering over to her newest friend. “He has fallen unconscious again.” She with a worried look.

“I see that Lulu.” The world's tallest marshmallow said. “Maybe this is our answer. It seems we continue to overwhelm the poor... being.”

“It seems so, sister.” Luna said agreeingly. “Perhaps what he claimed is true, nopony is capable of this level of acting, if that were the case.”

Celestia thought about arguing about Michael not being a pony, at all. But she decided to let her little sister speak that way. Although, her dialect is a little bit dated. Celestia quite liked her little sister speaking the way she did. It reminded her of simpler times, happier times as well.

“Perhaps.” She remarked with a faint smile.

“But… Maybe we can peek into his memories? Just to be sure?”

“I don't think so, Lulu.” Celestia said. “If magic really doesn't exist wherever he came from, then he might not react so well to it. Plus, when I tried to teleport us to Canterlot, I found out that magic had no affect on him.”

“Really!?” The tall and thin blueberry shouted.

“Yes, I have never encountered such a phenomenon.” Celestia admitted. “It felt as if my magic was… absorbed, like his body was composed of sponge.”

“... This is… this is concerning sister.” Blueberry breathed. “This… will we be able to send him to his home?”

Celestia wanted to say yes, that Michael will go back to his original world. But…

As much as it pained the solar diarch, she knew she shouldn’t lie to her little sister.

“I’m sorry, Lulu. But I… I am having doubts...” Celestia admitted. “But...” She continued after seeing the distraught look on her little sister’s face. “I have faith in my student. I know she will do whatever it takes to take Michael back to his home… as soon as she’s given a full story.” The lunar princess's ears folded a little at this.

“Yes, we can only hope Lady Sparkle finds a possible solution.” She said glumly.

The conversation pretty much died after that; neither diarch having much else to say. Fortunately for both princesses, tending to the human-turned-goo managed to waste enough time to arrive at their destination; Canterlot Castle.

Now, if only- Ah! It seems Michael is recovering.

Oh my god.

Oh, my, fucking, god.

I can’t believe, I don’t…

I’m not going home. I’m sooooo not going home.

… Fuck me to tears...

So THAT'S What it feels Like

There's no way in hell I'm getting back home. Princess Celestia even said so herself.

People always say that shit to make someone else feel better, especially when things are bleak.

God damnit, I just know I’m going to become a depressed wreck at some point.

If it’s not now, then it’ll be when I’m alone in my new room.

And… at least these… ponies, if I remember right, were being genuine. ‘Cause, as far as they know, I’m still passed out. It was kinda weird, actually, being passed out for about five minutes, feels like I took a short nap. And because of that, I felt a little groggy when I heard the Princesses talking about me, and my situation.

Which leads me to where I am, at the moment.

So… Apparently, my body negates... magic… and Princess Celestia has doubts about sending me back home because of it…

… Do they have guns here? Maybe they got those old flint-lock ones.

I’m seriously getting depressed now… It kind of makes sense, the suicide part I mean; what kind of person would want to live the rest of their lives, away from a loving family?

Assholes wish for that kind of thing. I, however, do not. I’d rather not live than live without my family.

…

Fucking hell, that was dark, even for me… Meh… Why should I even care at this point? Chances are, I’ll be stuck on this fucking planet for life. Away from my mom and dad; everyone, with no way of telling them that I’m fine. That their little Moreno is doing just fine, in an alien world, with a different body.

I have no way of doing that, whatsoever. I have no way of talking to my own parents. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re thinking, for all they know, their son just disappeared inside an inground pool.

I don’t even want to imagine what they’re thinking. I think I’m already depressed as it is.

“Michael? Art thee awake? Please, say something.”

Oh yeah. I’m still in a carriage with the princesses. Should I respond? Yeah… I now know they just want ot make me as comfortable as possible.

I just wonder what their king and queen are like. Hopefully like these two.

And so, The princesses of the sun and moon arrive at Canterlot castle; the barracks to be specific. They wanted to expose Michael to the public as little as possible. Their guard can be trusted for now. But it was important that none of those snobbish nobles knew of Michael’s existence within castle grounds. Faust knows how… well, they would react. No doubt they would excise the poor thing off the mountain without trial.

And that is why it is crucial that even the night guard surround the princesses when they leave the carriage… Even though it scared poor Michael half to death. But a little reassurance from both diarchs managed to calm him down somewhat. It still unnerved the human that he was basically surrounded by aliens. At all angles.

But he understood. He gathered pretty quickly that his presence must not be known yet. Lord knows what’ll happen if the general public would react to two of their princesses walking around with an alien.

If that were to ever happen, Michael would be sure to off himself before any other sapient being can do it for him.

“Here we are!” Princess Luna announced, I look up and saw a large pair of… doors. Can’t quite tell what material they’re made of. But a crescent moon indicated this was Princess Luna’s room.

Oh, I forgot to mention earlier. These pony aliens apparently get to know what their special talent is when they get some but-mark, performing their special talent. Which, by the way, happens for every, single, pony. Like, none of them don't get some pic on their ass.

And that just happens. Like, they find out what they’re good at in life when they get a but tattoo doing whatever it is. How does that even work, seriously?

Whatever, like that’s going to affect my life here. If I chose to continue living it anyway.

“This is my room, Michael.” Princess Luna stated.

Kinda figured that already.

“And here will be your room!” She said while pointing down the hall. I looked to where she was pointing and saw another, smaller, single door. With no distinguishable marking on it. It was just a simple, wooden door. I noticed her nod and took the hint; I walked over to the door, one of those dark guards following me. I was about to open the door when the guard opened it for me.

Huh, that was awfully nice of him.

“Thank you.” I said with an appreciative nod. He stoically nodded back. I entered the room and gave it a good look; it was about as big as anyone would expect from a hotel room, if the hotel was on the side of a mountain; big bed, waxed stone floor, a nice round rug in the center, and desk off to the side, another door probably for the bathroom, and another one for the closet maybe, a dresser- like I’m gonna need that, and there was a pair of glass paned doors leading to a balcony.

Objective updated, avoid balcony at all costs.

But other than that, my new room was pretty cool. Definitely an upgrade from my old room at home. Just take away the ‘homey’ feel.

“We will leave you to your own devices for now, Michael.” I heard Princess Celestia say from behind. “Me and my sister have things to attend to. If you ever need us, please, don’t hesitate to ask the guards that will be standing right outside. They will be your guides.”

“Thanks.” I said blankly. I heard the door close behind me after a long pause. After that, I went over and flopped onto my bed. Sleep kinda sounded good right about now. Even though I passed out a few times today.

Huh, who knew passing out completely drains you?

Michael’s sudden change in behavior did not go unnoticed by the princesses. Especially luna. As both princesses knew the tell tale signs of clinical depression. Though, this case seemed to be worse than what they've seen.

And all they could do was watch and hope he eats regularly. Since they aren't the best of friends; there time with they've spent with him barely meant anything at the moment. As far as they could know, Michael is seeing them more as acquaintances than friends.

They knew he'd have to be here for quite a long time before they could even begin to call each other friends. And that was a rout they fear will happen.

Such a shame the Princesses were too bound by ‘morals’ and ‘ethics’. They could know all they need to know if Luna just ‘spent the night’ with Michael. And even then Moonbutt’s magic might not work with him.

Of course, this didn't fly over Luna’s head. She knew exactly how Michael felt. That numbing feeling of complete isolation. It still haunts her to this day. But at least she still has family… family…

Oh, tartarus!

Michael has family back on his homeworld… He said so himself.

… Twilight Sparkle had better make it her greatest achievement to sending Michael back to his world. Lest, she invoke the wrath of the Princess of Dreams.

This bed is really fucking comfy. Like I'm sleeping on a cloud or something. I managed to take a nap for about ‘who the fuck knows’ long. Probably a few days, to be honest. I really didn't want to think about anything, like, ever, again. Ever.

But of course, my brain- if I still even have one, decided to take me on a goddamn roller coaster. And I am only on the first loop. While still being depressed.

It's really weird actually. Feeling raw emotion, but not giving a flying rat’s ass about it.

It kinda mixes together to make this… Empty feeling. Like, everything I felt however long ago happened years ago. I don't… feel, anything, anymore. It's just me, and nothing else. Just a body. Well, maybe-

Ogh fuck. That hurt, ok, officially depressed now.

Alright then, shouldn't I be feeling, I don't know, sad? And not just hollow?

Eh, probably just how I'm dealing with on a subconscious level. It kinda makes, to me, in a way; at least I won't be hurting anymore. Huh… So this is how I compensate for… that.

And also; it explains how I'm completely calm over this.

Hmm… Should I eat at this point? Nah… Not right now at least. I've only really felt hungry a few times in the past… three days. It feels like it's been three days.

Heh. Three days on an alien planet, and I've done nothing but lay on a bed. Hah…

Op, getting sleepy again. Maybe I won't wake up this time since I haven't eaten in awhile.

Aw fuck, I heard my door open. Ah, well, at least I'm not dying alone.

Hmm, if I do wake up again… I wonder, what can literally kill me…

'Michael has been in his chambers for far too long. It is time he leaves his chambers.’ Princess Luna thought while she marched to the gooey human’s room.

It was concerning though, neither princesses nor guard has seen hide nor... liquid, of Michael within the past week.

It was more than concerning, then. It meant he most likely hasn't eaten this whole week.

Why didn’t any of them check on him? Politics were most to blame, but Luna still had free time during the night, why didn’t she check on the poor thing?

Because she put too much faith in him, a foolish mistake to have made. She should’ve known better, her sister as well. But she can be slightly forgiven. Her schedule's been full since Luna took that trip to the moon.

But that hardly matters in the current situation. Luna needs to make sure her new friend is ok.

“Michael?” She made it to his room in no time, she didn’t bother knocking before cantering into his room. Since the last time she tried Michael didn’t respond.

Luna saw Michael in the form of a lifeless puddle of goo when she entered the room.

Oh, gods!

“Guards!” The two night guards posted outside the door rushed in. “Michael is need of sustenance, NOW!” The two saluted and galloped off. She turned back to the light blue puddle. She did expect Michael to fall unconscious from not eating anything, she just did think he’d end up looking like that.

“Michael?” She whispered. No response. “Michael? Please, wake up.” She prodded the puddle with a hoof, expecting the puddle to respond to her touch. It didn't.

Luna felt the cool surface through the her shoe. Her hoof caused an indent against the gooey substance, it had a certain kind of… give, to it. To the touch, it resembled a pony’s skin, but at the same time, it felt paper thin; if she pressed any more, it just might tear.

“Michael?!” Luna didn’t care at the moment, obviously. She brought up her other forehoof and pressed harder against the puddle. Her hooves actually sunk into the puddle, causing ripples to travel across the surface.

The substance itself didn’t soak into Blueberry’s fur, or in between her hooves and her shoes, but it was certainly leaving a tingling feeling. Had Luna not been preoccupied with rousing Michael, she would've wondered how her hooves were staying dry.

Squeaking wheels took the Lunar diarch’s attention. She turned her head towards the source of the noise; her guards have returned with a cart full of random food items.

They did not know what Michael ate, so they pretty much gathered whatever was most available. They even got their hooves on a slab of raw meat, just in case Michael turned out to be a carnivore.

Luna visibly brightened upon seeing the cart. She levitated some food off and, with wild abandon, dumped the items onto the puddle, making a nice little food mountain.

At first nothing happened. And Luna was about to go get her sister. But then, she barely noticed the consumables slightly sink into the puddle. And watched on in disgusted wonder as the pile of food sank and dissolve into… Well, into the goo. The food pretty much disintegrated when it entered the substance.

It was this moment, Princess Luna noticed a change in the puddle of goo itself. It was growing.

It was growing and defining into the shape she knew as Michael.

At first the oval puddle took on a more rectangular shape, but then a little dollop at the top formed Michael’s neck and head. Next where the arms, and finally, the legs.

Michael has returned to normal. Well, his body returned to normal, at least.

“Thank thee, loyal subjects.” Luna said with a sigh of relief. “Remain posted outside the door, we will call thee if we require further assistance.” The two guards saluted and marched outside, closing the door behind them. Luna turned back to her newest friend.

“Please, be alright Michael. Please… We don't want to lose thee.” She nuzzled the crook of Michael’s neck. “We don't want to lose another friend…” She whispered. “Please, come back to us.”

I legit think I was dead.

Seriously, I think I was dead.

Was because… well, the best way I can describe it… There was nothing.

No feeling, no sensation, no thoughts, nothing.

The whole time I was dead is literally a moment in my life that I felt, saw, and did, absolutely nothing. I can’t call it a moment in my life, because it’s it was… just nothing. I didn't exist.

Jesus christ, that’s actually scary. That meant there is no such thing as heaven or hell. My soul didn’t go anywhere.

Oh, that means I don’t even have a soul. No one does.

Holy fuck. That means... nothing happens after we die. We just… we just, die. Ya, kaput, done. It’s literally just you ceasing to be. The only trace of your existence being the body left behind.

And I discovered that myself because I, was, dead.

I don’t even want to think about that right now… Wait, what woke me up?

Yeah, Imma think about that for a bit…

“Thank the heavens, thou art alright Michael.” I heard Princess Luna say with a sigh of relief.

Oh, she pulled me nothingness. Alright then. I guess I'm grateful for that.

“What's the point?” I asked while turning over bodily.

Yeah, that kinda left my mouth without me realizing it.

“What?” She reeled her head back in shock. Not good.

“Nothing.” I said hastily. “How long has it been since I fell asleep?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“We know not, Michael.” She answered. Good, she took the bait. “But you have spent the entirety of last week in this room. It is time you leave this room for at least the rest of this day.” Oh, it's been a week actually.

“Why would I leave this room? What's the point of me being anywhere else than here?” Once again, words were leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

It made Princess Luna pause, out of surprise, reeeaaally not good.

“E-excuse thee?”

“I know what will happen if anyone else but you and those guards saw me. I kinda figured that since you and Princess Celestia had me surrounded with your guards.

Besides, when are you two going to take me to your king and Queen? Aren't they like, supposed to decide what to do with me or something?” I asked. Princess Luna gave me this really confused look, which didn't settle well with me.

“What is this talk about a King and Queen? It is only us and our sister that rule this land, and nopony else.” She said with a raised brow.

“Oh… Whale then...”

Can't they Just let it Happen?

Soo… We've been walking around this place for a while now. And the halls are pretty empty too, the only regular occupants being the guards standing… guard, every few yards. I mean, I know why they're empty. But, is this place really that big? Big enough that two people with a few guards behind them can walk around it without seeing another being?

Apparently so. This place must like the labyrinth in Harry Potter. That’s pretty cool, actually.

That’s a lot of room for activities.

Anyway, while we were walking, Princess Luna wanted to spark up a conversation with me. It went about as well as talking to a depressed, maybe suicidal, person could go.

“What doth thee think of this castle?” She asked.

“It’s very big.” I said. “Being able to walk around without seeing anyone else? This place must either have not that many people, or it’s really fuckin’ big.” I stated.

“Canterlot Castle is indeed very large.” Princess Luna commented. “Sometimes, we have our own guard escort us around.”

“Big castle then.” I remarked. Getting an agreeing nod. We continued walking for a few more minutes in silence after that. Bet’cha anything it's getting awkward for Princess Luna.

“Michael?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn't thee leave thine room?”

Hmm… I thought she already knew why.

I think she does, she probably just wants to be sure. Can't be too sure with a person like me, I guess.

“What would've been the point?” I asked rhetorically. “I'm likely to never see my friends; my family ever again. I can't even tell them I'm alright. And who the fuck knows what's happening back home? My parents probably think I'm dead for all I know.” Again with the speaking before thinking, and with a flat tone this time.

Huh, I don’t seem to care this time. I wonder if that’s gonna be a thing. Probably, I am basically a hollow husk of my former self.

And, how the hell am I just admitting that like it’s fact?

“Please, do not think like that…” Princess Luna said. Kinda in a chastising, but pleading, tone.

The fuck is she talking to me like that for? I’m not a fucking child.

“Princess Luna. Don't sugarcoat things for me.” That pissed me off, actually. “I heard what you and Princess Celestia said in the carriage. I'm more likely to spend the rest of my life here than getting back to my family.” I stopped walking and bodily turned to her. “I don't want to live here; no offense. And… To be honest…” I was about to her tell her that she should've just left me in my room, but… “never mind.” I finished. “I'm going back to my room.” I looked to one of the guards. And she had this pitiful look on her face before she nodded and lead me back to my room.

Didn’t know there were women as guards.

Michael's behavior shattered Princess Luna’s heart.

He pretty much confirmed what both princesses feared: a lack of a will to live. Now, it's only a matter of time before Michael does something about that.

She just realized, he already did, there was a reason Luna found him in that state in his room. She didn't want to believe it, but at this point, the truth is irrefutable.

Michael attempted to kill himself.

Albeit, he attempted to do it by letting himself starve to death. But it's only a matter of time before he does something more… drastic.

And this something Princess Luna can do. As far as keeping Michael from… ending his life.

But, how will she go about doing it? She can't just watch every little thing he does. She doesn't want to make his life here any more miserable than it already is for him.

Aha! Maybe her sister knows what to do! Luna needs tell her sister these things anyway.

With that in mind, Luna teleported to the courtroom, surely, Celly would take time out of her day to assist Luna in assisting Michael. Right?

‘The nobles act more and more like foals these days.’ A certain white alicorn thought to herself. ‘Another hum-drum day spent listening to them fight like foals as well. I remember times when they actually argued about important matters, and they where actually honorable about it.’ She sighed while looking out one of the many stained glass windows. The open air and landscape looking very inviting right about now. ‘I wish something, anything, would just happen. Anything to at least to take the rest of the day off.’

The Princess of the Sun swore she heard angels singing when she thought that.

But, unfortunately, nothing happened, at first. She was thinking about hiring a secretary when her sister teleported right beside her.

“Sister, thou must come quickly, it is about Michael.”

Oh, well… She certainly didn’t expect this to be her excuse.

“One moment, Luna.” Celestia turned to the arguing nobles. They never noticed Luna teleporting in. Flankholes. “Day court is adjourned.” Ha! An excellent ‘buck you’ to the face.

“What?” One of them said while turning to their princesses.

“We will continue today’s… dispute, at the next available time slot. Have a nice day.” She said right before teleporting to her bedroom. Her sister not far behind.

“What is it Luna? Something happen to Michael?” Luna nodded.

“We entered his chambers and found him as a… lifeless puddle, on his bed.” Celestia’s eyes widened. “But we were able to, revive, him. We do not know if that is the proper word to use. But Michael is well now.” Celestia sighed while adopting a more relaxed look.

“That’s good. Is there anything else?” Luna nodded, but looked hesitant to say whatever was about to be said. That can't be good…

“Tia… we were correct.” Luna said. “Michael… he has no will to continue living. We saw it in his eyes…” She shuddered. “They… We saw no life in them.” She muttered.

“Oh dear...” Celestia picked up a hoof to cover her mouth.

“Has lady Sparkle sent thee anything sister?” Luna asked desperately changing the subject, hope brimming behind her eyes.

“No… she hasn’t...” Celestia answered. “She hasn’t even sent a friendship report...”

“Damn it all to tartarus.” Luna spat.

“Lulu! Language!”

“We apologize…” Luna sighed. “It is just… he heard us. Tia, he overheard our conversation in the carriage.”

Now that was a shock to the system.

“H-he did?” Celestia said, Luna nodded.

She surprised herself with the minor stutter. It’s been awhile since that happened.

“Oh… He thinks..?” Luna nodded. “Oh, mother of me...” Her whole form visibly sagged at the revelation. She was hoping she could give Michael at least a sliver of hope.

“What doth thee think we should do Tia?” Luna asked.

“I… I don’t know Lulu.” She breathed. “For once, I am at a loss at what to do.”

Tssss… ooooh… That was the last thing anyone expected Celestia to say.

That spells bad news for our gooey friend.

“Th-thou art pulling our leg, sister. Correct?” Luna asked with a twitching smile. She didn't get an answer, not verbally at least. Her head feel upon the unspoken answer.

“I'm sorry, Luna.” Celestia said. “I wish I knew a way to send Michael back to his home.” She wrapped her sister in a consoling hug. Haaaaa~ She always wanted to hug her sister again.

“It is not fair…” Luna whispered.

“What was that?”

“It is not fair!” She screamed. Startling Celestia as Luna put her in a death hug. She then felt moisture on her shoulder.

Wow, she feels this strongly about Michael.

That trip to the moon really affected her then…

Can Princess Celestia feel anymore like a flankhole?

But, she let those parasites feed of her emotions! She let them in take her! Oh, Faust! She can't be thinking about this now! There are more important things to be thinking about!

Aaaand Luna is full-blown crying into her shoulder. Big sister mode, go!

“Shhhhh…” Celestia said while stroking Luna on the back of neck. “It's ok, Lulu. We will find a way to send him back to his home.”

“H-how doth-th,” Luna sniffed. “thee think so, Tia? Thou-” Another sniff. “thou art putting the task upon Lady Sparkle’s wh-wh-” A third sniff. “withers.”

“I know Lulu.” Celestia said. “But, I have faith in her. My student has yet to fail me.” She pulled away from the hug. She then put her golden-clad hoof to her sister’s chin and made Luna face her. Oh, wow. The little blueberry looks absolutely adorable when she's crying. But Celestia can't say that, it’d ruin the moment. “She and her friends reunited us, didn't they?” Luna tried, and failed, to swallow the lump in her throat before answering.

“Yes…” She answered quietly. “They did…” Luna sniffed again slightly.

“If they can do that. Then Twilight can find a solution to this whole mess.” Celestia said with a warm smile. “Now, come. There is a chocolate cake with your name on it.” Once that was uttered. The lunar princess smiled widely. “Oh! And one more thing.” Celestia said, earning a confused look from her sister. Celestia leaned forward, putting her muzzle right next to Luna’s ear. And whispered, with deliberate slowness. “You are a terrible crier.” She pulled her head back and shot her sister a playful smirk before trotting off. Her destination: the royal kitchen. Her sister soon joining, A smirk of her playing on her lips.

I'm bored.

Like, reeaally fuckin bored. I somehow find it a chore to lay in my bed now. And I want to do something. But at the same time, I don't.

The hell is wrong with me?

Oh. That's right; nothing's wrong with me. Except, maybe, just maybe, I'm just deeply broken. At least I know I'm dead inside. That's also probably why I’m able to think of the sweet release of death so much. And yes, I calling that bit of nothingness that. You’re not my mom!

Anyway, a bath or shower might occupy my mind for a bit, let’s do that. But… which door? Hmm… The one closer to the bed might it, makes sense in a way. Let’s try…

*Click*

*Kreeeeeeaak*

Yep, I was right, and it’s a bathtub. Huh, haven’t had a bath in forever. It even has the same hot and cold knobs like on Earth…

Yeah, anyway, I want a cold bath, so cold knob gets a full turn while hot knob get a quarter of a turn. And the tub filled up pretty quickly... oh, the nozzle’s kinda big… Oh, right, hooves and all that. The nozzle must be just small enough for hooves to not get stuck in there.

Anywho, into the tub we go…

*Splish*

Oooh~ That’s the stuff. Funny, I don’t remember pools being this awesome, might have to do with me being a gooey… thing.

Op, and my body isn’t visible in the water. Like, I perfectly blend in. Cool.

Hmm… I wonder if I need to breath…

… Mmm nope. Dammit. But, I can stay underwater for as long as I want, cool, I guess.

There's a drain. Maybe… Fucking dammit, can’t pour myself down the drain.

Ooo! There's the balcony, totally forgot about that. But… Nah, I'll probably just go splat all over the place without dying, if anime has taught me anything. So no falling to death.

It also kinda sucks that I don't have a ‘core’ or something like that. I could smash the thing and be done with everything. C’mon, there's gotta be a surefire way to to through with this…

Wait… Fire…

That's it! Fire! I think since I'm literally a liquid thing I can evaporate myself!

I haven't seen any torches around though… But I do have a fireplace. I can probably just ask one of those guards to get someone to lite it up for me.

Perfect.

So… I wonder if I need to dry myself off..? Mnope. Alright then. Should I bother draining the tub? Eh, fuck it.

“Excuse me, but can you get some to start the fireplace for me? It's getting kinda fresh for me.”

“Of course sir.” They both nodded and marched off. I retreated back to my room. Ooh! Gonna want to make it convincing with a blanket or something. And a few minutes later they came back with a unicorn guard. They looked over to me and and saw me covered in sheets. They adopted a pitying look before materializing some wood from thin air and placed then into the pit, then they ignited the pile with a simple spark from their horn they nodded and left with a satisfied smile. And then left the room with the other two in tow.

I sprung into the action as soon as the door closed. Using the pick and shovel I expertly maneuvered a flaming piece of wood over to my bed. The thing instantly catching fire when they made contact. I waited a bit to let the flames build up. I even managed to get a few more burnable things to turn it into a damn bonfire. I looked at the dancing flames for second, and without any form of grace. I jumped into the building inferno.

I expected to feel pain as soon as my body touched the fire. But the I only felt heat. And not much of it. But, then I felt… I don't how to properly describe it. But it feels like my body is shrinking. And I'm losing consciousness again. Yes, fucking perfect.

The door to my room opened… fuck….

Today was really looking to be an average day for Nightshine and Flicker; guard the weird gooey creature, get anything if he asked for anything. And make sure he's still alive by the end of the day shift. It wasn't something hard to do. In fact, it seemed their princess was undermining them with this overly simple task.

And then smoke began to seep from the door of the creature’s room.

The two bat ponies shared glances between themselves and the smoking door. Then Flicker galloped off, leaving Nightshine to deal with the problem. She sighed and opened the door. And immediately felt a blast of hot air cascade over her fur, and not in the good way.

“The buck!?” She rasped while backing away. She covered her eyes when the heat wave hit her. She brought her leg down and gaped at the sight before her. Or rather, the lack of. Since all she saw was a wall of fire.

“Move beside thee!” Her princesses shouted, only having enough time and brainpower to sidestep just in time to allow Princess Luna to… Do whatever she is going to do.

Her horn flared brightly and fire instantaneously ceased to be.

Oh, well then…

Luna wasted no time rushing into the now scorched room. Almost every surface was black.

But that mattered little to her. For she was more worried about her friend.

She began looking frantically for young Michael, eventually finding him under a large pile of burnt wood that was once a bed, once again as a little puddle. This time the puddle was about the size of her hoof.

Bucking Tartarus!

I'll Make it Happen

Jesus fucking christ. I live, again. Which means someone kept me from staying dead.

Why won't they just let me die? I'm pretty much saving everyone from hassle; I'm pretty sure I caused a lot of trouble burning my room down.

But seriously, who brought me back to life this time?

“Michael?”

Ugh… Of course it was her. Who else could it’ve been?

“Whaaaat?” I asked in an annoyed tone. Without bothering to see where I am either.

“Oh, thank Faust.”

Faust? Who the hell is Faust? Sounds like a girl name… Maybe she's their god or something? Eh…

“We believed thee truly perished this time…” I heard Princess Luna mutter.

“And you're saying that like you care because..?” I asked, still not bothering myself with moving my body.

“It is because we do truly care!” She snapped. “We know what it is like! And we will send thee home!”

Ok, hear me out here. Even though I heard this only a few times. At this point, it was really grating on my nerves.

And that was me justifying what I said to her at this point in time.

“I don't give a fucking shit about that.” And luckily for me, I was really calm about it.

Heh. I'm a psychopath. Yay.

“Wh-what?”

“You fucking heard me.” I said. “I. Don't. Care. I don't care about anything. I just want to kill myself and be done with all this bullshit.” I sighed. “I don't want to live anymore, I have nothing to live for. And I'm not going to see any of my family, much less anyone I knew. And you know it.” Another annoyed sigh left my gooey lips. “Ugh… I just want to die…” It was silent for a good minute. Then I heard a sniffle, hooves on stone floor. And finally, the opening and closing of a door.

Good, I can die alone now. If I can even pull that off in wherever I am. Hmm… Maybe I should open my eyes now…

I'm lying in the middle of a white, featureless, room. With a solid-looking metal door.

Oh fuck you princesses.

“He did what?”

“He set his room ablaze!” Luna whisper shouted. There was a short pause before Celestia found it within herself to speak.

“Where is he now?” She asked. Causing Luna to flinch.

“He is in thee… Blank room.” She admitted sheepishly. Celestia’s eyes expanded to resemble saucers.

“You put him in there!?” She shrieked. Luna cowered away a little.

“We apologize sister! We didn't know where to put him but there!” She said.

Celestia saw how her sister was reacting, how she was behaving; she was angry with her sister. She was never angry with her sister. Well, except for that time right before Luna turned into Nightmare Moon...

… She'll be having none of that.

“I'm sorry, Lulu.” Celestia said with a heavy sigh. “I shouldn't have let that little outburst slip.” She admitted, gaining a fearful glance from her sister; she was still a little afraid.

Celestia can be a terrible sister sometimes.

“C’mere.” Sunbutt wrapped Luna in a hug. Making her let out a little squeak. She eventually realized what Celestia was doing, and eased into the embrace. The celestial sisters stayed like that for a little bit before separating.

“We forgive thee for thine outburst, Tia.” Luna said with a smile. Celestia smiled back.

“Tank you Lulu. Now, how about you tell me what exactly happened?”

“That was… just it, Tia. He let his room be consumed in flames.”

“I know that Luna. But it there anything that happened after the whole ordeal? Did he say anything?” Luna’s ears folded back when she asked. Oh no…

“We… we tried getting through to him sister. We tried to tell him he will go home. He did not believe me...” She recalled while looking down. “He said… he said he ‘just wanted to kill himself’. To be done with... everything.” She looked back up, all misty eyed. “He said he wanted to die Tia. Why? Why would he say something like that. Why would any living being say that...”

Now, Celestia knew exactly why Michael said all of those those things. For she knew how he felt; living for a thousand years without your only family member can do things to an alicorn. But she didn’t want to tell her little sister that. Who knows how she would react in this state.

“I… I don’t know…” Celestia said slowly. “We promised Michael he would go back to his world…”

“Maybe he thinks it is a hollow promise.” Luna spat. Celestia noticed the little bit of anger.

“Lulu, is something the matter?”

“...”

“Luna?” Celestia scooted a little closer to her sister.

“Michael, he was angry with us...” Luna said, almost in a whisper. “Me thinks it has something to do with us repeatedly telling him we would send him home.”

“Are you sure?” Celestia asked. Luna nodded. “I see… Hmm...”

“What doth thee suppose we do Tia?”

“For now… We should leave him alone.”

…

“P-pardon thee?”

“Yes Luna. We should just leave him alone. Of course, we will continue giving him food and water. Whether he likes or not. But…”

“At this point, we are forcing him to live…” Luna said with a heavy sigh.

“Yes. At this point, we are… Maybe we should go and find out Twilight has discovered anything." Luna perked up a little at this. Though, there was a hint of anger in those teal eyes.

“Yes, let us visit Lady Sparkle.” Luna said before she disappeared in a flash of light. Celestia sighed and teleported herself to the only library in Ponyville.

Spike wasn't having a good day. Much less a great week. Ever since that thing showed up, and after the princess gave Twilight the task of sending the thing to its home. The mare ran herself crazy. It was really disheartening for the little drake as he watched his mother-figure’s descent into madness.

And as much as Spike wanted to blame that thing for all of that. He knew better. Besides, Pinkie made Twilight mess up in the first place. If there was anypony to blame, it'd be that pink menace.

And something blinded the purple dragon. What was that? Was it Twilight? Oh! Maybe she le-

“Spike?” Oh, it's just Princess Celestia...

Wait, Princess Celestia!?

Spike rubbed the spots from his eyes. Hey took a second to refocus. And when they did. He was able to see a worried looking Princess Celestia. And an indifferent-looking Princess Luna. He was about to bow but Princess Celestia spoke.

“Spike, do you know where Twilight is?” She asked.

“U-uh… Yeah.” The baby dragon stuttered. “She's in the basement.”

“Thank you Spike.” Celestia nodded before heading to the staircase leading towards the basement. Luna being close behind. Spike was a little curious about what they might talk about. So he followed them downstairs.

The state of this lower dwelling was truly appalling. The area was littered with random papers and items Luna couldn't even begin to describe. There were big boxes with lights on them as well. How odd, what was the purpose of those metal boxes…

Bah. Luna can’t bother herself with those odd boxes. She has a friend to help… Hmm… She has a friend to help. That phrase sounds nice in Luna’s head.

Oh, Tia cleared her throat.

“Gah!” The purple unicorn jumped from her slouched position. The fur on her back standing on end. She whipped around with a face that looked as if she was about to berate whoever disturbed her study. Only for for said face to shatter upon laying eyes on the princesses.

“O-oh! Princess Celestia! And Princess Luna!.. Uh… Why are you two here?”

“We wish to know whether thee discovered a solution towards Michael’s problem.” Luna spoke up. “Have thee found anything?”

“Who..?” She was about to ask who this Michael was, but a look from Celestia told her who that was.

“Oh… Uhm… Well…” Purple smart started. “I did find a reverse spell to the animation spell. I think if I cast it it'll send… Michael back to his home world.” Twilight finished.

“Thou truly believe this spell will work? Despite Michael having magic negating abilities?” Luna asked.

The room went silent at that. And Twilight’s brain was slowly spiraling out of control. Because seriously, how can any living thing not have magic in them?

“Excuse me?” Twilight asked back. “Did you just say… Michael, has.. Magic negating, abilities?” Princess Blueberry nodded. “Oh… well… that just made things more difficult…” She muttered that to herself.

Twilight probably shouldn’t have done that. Not in front of an alicorn, with an acute sense of hearing, at least.

She really should’ve stayed quiet at this point.

“Pardon thee?” Luna asked sharply. Twilight saw the building fury behind the lunar alicorn’s eyes and gulped audibly.

“I… Uh…” She couldn't come up with anything to say. Oh Celestia! She should've known to shut up! She knew alicorns are the physical embodiment of all three pony tribes! Oh, tartarus!

“Luna, please, calm down.” Celestia, however, was having none of her sister’s negative attitude. “I am sure there is a possibility the spell could work.”

“What doth thee mean, sister?” A somewhat red-faced Luna asked through clenched teeth.

“It is only simple magic that has no effect on Michael. Levitation is a will of the mind to manipulate magic. I theorize a spell will have an effect on Michael. Hopefully for the best of all our intentions.” Celestia explained. It seemed to have calmed down the Lunar Princess, somewhat.

“We see. Should we bring Michael here then?” Luna asked.

“I think it would save time to bring Twilight with us to the castle.” Celestia suggested with a smile. To which Luna grumbled a response.

“We suppose...” She muttered. Sunbutt nodded and teleported the four of them to right in front of the door to Michael’s new room. She went to open the door…

And he’s missing. How..?

Alright, this is kinda fucking cool. Turns out I can slip through tiny spaces like Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. Remember that one scene after they’re all exposed to radiation that Mr. Fantastic was able to squeeze his arm under the door? Yeah, I can do that with my entire body.

That’s good to know. For, like, future situations where I’m shoved into a loony room. But now, the thing is to find a way out of this place. Or maybe set something on fire. Whichever comes first.

So yeah, walking around; kinda cool, I guess. Well, it would be cool if I wasn’t hiding from the princesses. That probably explains all the groups of guards looking around the halls for something. Yeah… They’re really stupid too. They could’ve caught me, what, like five times now? Hiding behind curtains has got to make an obvious bulge.

They’re either really stupid, or they’re looking way too hard.

Also, I should probably pay attention to where I’m walking. I’m able to hide from the guards. But all that can come crashing down if I walk into-

“Oof!” And I just jinxed myself. Way to go, me.

“What in the name of Celestia is that!?” I heard whoever I ran into ask. There was clear disgust in his voice, and yes, I could tell the voice belonged to a he.

“Sorry.” I said nonchalant as I got up. I turned to who I tripped over and saw they were a white as snow furred dude with blond hair and blue eyes. And he was wearing the collar of a tuxedo. Weird… and why do images of hitler come to mind?

“What?” The blondie gaped at me. As if he didn’t know what he was looking at, which is completely the situation. “Did you just speak? What filthy corner of tartarus did you crawl out of!?” Oh, so he’s that kinda guy; a fucking douche-bag. Alright then, might as well be a s quick as possible with shutting him up. If that’s even possible.

“Your mom’s pussy.” I said. The guy’s jaw quite literally fell to the floor. I kinda smirked and walked off, feeling good about my handy work.

But then something hit my shoulder. It felt kinda good, honestly. I looked behind me and saw that the blondie had has horn aimed at me, the tip of the thing smoking. So he fired some kinda magic at me? Huh, he’s really dumb.

“How dare you insult my mother!” He yelled.

“Because you insulted the way I look.” I replied without missing a beat. That seemed to anger the guy though; he fired another one of those magic things at me. And again there was that good, tingling feeling.

Hmm. So magic makes me feel good. Interesting… not really.

“How about you stop doing that?” I asked, kinda annoyed.

“You will bow to me! I am royalty!” He demanded. I saw were this was going and rolled my eyes. He noticed me rolling my eyes and got even madder. “I will have you thrown into the dungeons!” He another magic thing, making me feel good again.

Ugh… why did I..? Y’know, I’m just gonna walk away, it’s not like he do anything to me anyway.

“Hey! Are you listening to me!? How dare you disobey me! Guards!” Oh shit. Uh… ok, curtains it is again. Maybe I can slip out the window here. And why didn’t I think of that before?

Oh right, I wasn’t born in this body.

“There it is! Capture it!” Fuck, Dickhead McCuntboy found me. Better slip out while I still can.

O- shit, never mind. One of those idiots opened the window. And now I’m plummeting to the grassy ground, from a third floor window it seems. It also feels like time’s slowing down… Hmm…

I wonder if one of those things can drink me? I’d be digested and stuff… Yeah, not gonna happen though. As of any of those things would drink a goo thing.

*Splat* Op, hit the ground. AND lived, god dammit.

“There it is! Capture it!” And those guards are on my ass now, great. Just fucking great.

I also just realized, I’ve been saying and a lot.

“Halt! Creature!” I booked it as soon as I heard the guard shout. It was about zero point two seconds that those winged fuckers were right beside me, I saw them through my peripheral. Though, they didn’t get close to me, they just kept swinging close me. Those little actions made me steer away. While those one on my other side banked away from me. Why are they..? Oooooooh, oh, right, they’re trying to corral me like an escaped horse. How ironic; horses chasing me, a human. Normally it’s the other way around.

Oh good lord, I think I turned into an angsty teen. Fuck me through a straw.

Eh, screw it. I should be focusing on getting away anyway.

It seems I ended up in some residential district; houses as far as I can see. With no one walking around. Makes sense since it’s kinda late… Maybe I can find alley to hide in..? Yeah, one coming up on my right. Let’s see if these fuckers are really avoiding to touch me.

The pegasi guards flanking Michael were getting quite the workout today. Turns out the little speed demon was faster than they thought. It also didn’t help that they were informed to avoid contact with the creature. Their princess feared for them, for not even they knew what could happen if a regular pony were to even graze Michael.

Suddenly, Michael dove to his right, startling the pegasus flanking his right side. He managed to just barely not touch the creature before it disappeared into the alley. The two pegasi looped in the air, losing their moment as they did so, and landed in front of the dark alleyway. They stood there, watching, waiting, until the rest of their group caught up.

"We need a light spell, now!" One of them shouted as soon as the others stopped beside the pegasi. A unicorn nodded and shot a sphere of pure light into the alley. As the orb made its way towards the dead end, they group of guards saw nothing out of the ordinary; a few trash cans there, a few bags here, some litter. But the human goo was nowhere to be seen, baffling them. They cautiously entered, forming a circle, and looked everywhere they could. They looked behind, under, and even inside the cans and bags. But still, they found nothing. The guard were about to leave, but one of them spotted a downspout, it snaked up the wall connecting to a gutter. A stray thought entering the guard’s mind. He voiced his quickly forming theory.

“Maybe the creature went up the downspout?” He said unsurely while pointing a hoof towards the thing. The two pegasi flew up to investigate, and saw the creature running along the rooftop before it jumped down on the other end.

“There it is! It jumped down the other side!” The two shouted towards their comrades before giving chase.

Fuck, those guys are smarter than he thought. Damn those flying bastards. Now where is he going to lose them? Oh, if he remembers correctly, this whole place sits on the side of a mountain. If he can find an edge off this place...

Ah, here we go. Didn't take as long as he thought either. Huh, must've been a hellofa chase.

“We have you surrounded! Come peacefully!” Damn it, those flying pricks are blocking him from jumping. Wait…

“Stop!" He knew those idiots would back away.

Nopony can believe what they just witnessed. They didn't want to believe what they saw; the creature jumped off the ledge. It willfully just committed to suicide, right in front of their eyes. Not even the gepasi could help but watch as the creature stared at them indifferently as it plummeted towards the ground below. The pegasi watched on as the creature became the smallest of dots, and eventually disappear into the trees far below. They stood in shocked silence for an eternity before the pegasi recovered and went after the creature, or, possibly what's left of it.

I'm Needed... Apparently

Alright, note to self. Never jump off of high places. Even though I don't die, it's a bitch to pull myself back together, literally.

Anyway, phase two; find someplace to hide. Now, let's see…

Oh, how convenient, there's a deep, dark, foreboding cave. Meh, might as well give it a shot…

…

Mmm… There's a bear sleeping. Hmm. I wonder if I can make it drink me. Heh, I finally get to poke a bear with a stick, just like in the movies.

*Poke*

Grrr…

Almost there…

*Poke*

Rrrr.

One more time should do it.

*Poke*

Grrrra!

There we go. And… It actually sounded annoyed. Weird.

Now it's looking at me. I wonder what it's gonna do. Oh? It's raising its paw, and… The swipe does nothing, except from lobbing a part of my shoulder off. Nothing really detrimental.

And now the bear’s looking at me, with a confused expression, on its face.

I repeat, the bear, is looking at me, confused. How the fuck? Seriously? Like, how?

Maybe the animals here are more intelligent than the ones back on Earth? Looks like it… Maybe I can talk to it? Yeah, let's try that.

“Can you drink me?” Ok, me speaking caught it off guard. But it went back to that confused look. Maybe it wants to know why? “It's kinda cool out there, and I need a warm place to stay, for the night at least.” The bear raised one of its eyebrows in a skeptical way. “I promise, nothing bad will happen. I just need a warm place to sleep in.” It the. Crossed its front legs, are you fucking kidding me?

“Please? I don't want to freeze to death out there.” I'm really pleading with a bear. This is my life now; begging semi-sentient animals to kill me.

So this is how it feels like to hit rock bottom. Maybe I'm even somehow lower than that. Maybe not.

Anyway. The bear thought about it for a good minute. Eventually it came to a decision. It decided to express its decision as a nod of its head. And I silently cheered. But now, how are going to do this? Maybe I can turn myself into a puddle? Yeah, let's try that.

Alright… Puddle… I want to be a god damned puddle. Puddle, water… Fucking… urgh…

Wait, something's sucking on my arm. Huh..?

Oh, the bear decided to eat like someone sucking jelly into their mouth. As odd as that sounds. It was pretty effective. In, like, maybe ten seconds, it already had half of my body in its belly. I can already feel my body interact with its digestive juices. I can feel my body already losing mass. It’s really weird. Like, I still don’t feel pain, but I know I’m wasting away.

It’s also worth noting that I'm basically experiencing one of my fantasies; vore. Yeah. Go figure, I get to be eaten in a land full of magic, rainbow farting ponies. I'm willing to bet there are beings here that can fulfill my other stuffs.

“Maybe it's in here? It couldn't have gone far.”

…

Are you shitting me? Is this some kind of sick joke from the universe? Or is some god finding my strife funny? ‘Cause all this crap is just too coincidental to be random. There has to be some outside force making all this happen.

“Hey! There it is! And a bear’s eating it! Stop it!” No! No! Fuck! The bear’s spitting me out! God damn it!

“Why won't you let me fucking die!?” They all stopped, even the bear. They probably didn't expect me to blow up like that. Hey! I can use this!

Hah! Later fuckers!

Wait, I'm getting smaller, and my vision going black… nnnyehehe… Ooooh~ I feel good. Mmm… Something blue is standing over meh…

Mmmyegh! To drunk to fughing cer...

Ugh… Wh… wha… What happened..? Where am I..? And… Gah… My head hurts… Screw it, I'm just gonna lay wherever the hell I am until I feel better.

“Michael?”

Of course, perfect. Just perfect. I was just asking for a migraine.

“Art thee awake, Michael?” Fuck off Luna. I don't have it in me to deal with anything, please screw off and leave me to die. “Tia! We believe Michael is awake!” Ahgh! The fuck!? Screw off already!

Great, I can hear someone else walk into… Wherever I am.

“Michael?” Oh please, you two know I'm awake, stop bothering me. “Please, we need to talk.” No, fuck you. I know you two put me in that white room again. I can feel the cold floor against my back.

“Michael…”

“You already know what I want. There's nothing else I need to talk about.”

“Michael. We believe we have discovered a possible solution that may send you home.”

Pfff, like that's gonna work.

“Then go ahead and try it. I ain't got anything else better to do.” One of them huffed, whatever. I can act however the fuck I want to act.

“Twilight? Please come in.” Heh, it ends where it began. I like that.

Ooh! She's coming. Finally, at this point I don't care whether whatever she gonna do kills me or actually manages to send me home.

“Uhhh…” Oh for the love of…

“Just get it over with.” Hmhm. I can hear her grumble. Fuck you, you're the one responsible for all of thi-

Huh? I… I feel… good… like, really good… Mmm~

Aww… The good vibes stopped. And from what I can tell, nothing happened.

“Wh-what?” Eh, knew it. “The spell didn't work?!”

Wait, she thought casting a god damn spell would send me back home? What kind of fedora-wearing fags fantasy world did I tumble into?

“Whelp, that's it. I'm killing myself. With more effort.” I said while getting up. I was about to leave the room, only to be blocked by Celestia and Luna.

“I am sorry Michael, but we cannot allow that.” Huh, she said that in an almost threatening tone.

“You're not the boss of me.” I moved past them, then a gold tinted wall appeared out of nowhere. My face almost became close friends with the wall. But right as I was about an inch away from intimacy, the wall parted, just wide enough for me to stumble through. I didn't relish in having beat them. I just continued on like nothing happened. By the time they started calling for me. I slipped under the door. And then I proceeded to tip the fuck out the nearest window.

“Princess, what… what just happened?”

“Michael has attempted suicide multiple times, Lady Sparkle. He plans to make another attempt.” Luna teleported elsewhere to alert the day guard.

All the bookworm’s brain activity came to an ass-grinding halt when Luna said. And like Windows Vista, it took a while for it to kick back into gear.

“What..? Princess..?” Celestia sighed.

“Twilight… How did you feel when you crossed the magic mirror?”

“I… I don’t understand...”

“How did you feel when you stepped through the mirror? When you knew you had to retrieve your tiara before time ran out?” Twilight pondered this for some time, and eventually answered.

“Well, at first, when nopony would help me… I felt… I guess hopeless.” She said.

“Yes, well. Michael is… experiencing the same feeling. Though, I believe to a much more bleak sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Twilight...” Celestia looked a little disappointed, kinda shocking to the purple alicorn. “Michael comes from an alien world, possibly a completely different dimension. And for him, any sliver of hope he had towards returning home has vanished.” The ancient pony paused, her unreadable gaze never leaving Twilight. “Twilight… He has nothing to look forward too. He has nothing to live for, no family, no friends. Nothing remotely similar to his home. Do you understand?” Twilight nodded.

“Yes. I do… But. Why? We can be his friends. We could even help him cope with… everything, can't we?” Celestia shook her head.

“Michael is an alien being Twilight. I doubt any methods we know would help him in the slightest.” Twilight looked downtrodden, for more reason than one would assume.

“Oh… Then… what do we do?”

“For now, I have absolutely no idea.” Her look softened. “But you. My student. I request that you continue to look for a solution. Mother knows how long it'll be before Michael… Succeeds.” Twilight nodded with a resolute expression.

“I won't let you down princess!” Twilight declared before teleporting away. The tall marshmallow stared at the spot her student sat in. Thoughts flickering through her mind hundreds of miles a second. But, one thought stuck out.

*I will see to it you return home, Michael.* Her face hardened with determination. *Things may seem bleak. But I know there is a solution. There has to be.*

I really didn't think this through. Why did I think flushing myself down a toilet was a good idea?

Well, I never really thought through with, like, anything. But still, trudging through knee-deep waste certainly beats sitting in that damn room. For a number of reasons:

I'm not forced to talk to ponies.

No ponies are in my sight.

I don't get to hear any of those pony’s voices.

No fucking ponies

So, yeah, big positives in my book. Plus, it helps that I don't taste or smell the stuff around me. Still, I want out of here.

Oh? Just my luck. There's some light, well, more than what the glowing fungi are producing. Finally, an exit.

…

Aaand I'm standing in a drainage pipe that hangs over a waterfall. Mm... Could be worse, at least the river down there would help. I think.

Whelp, here goes nothing.

“Any luck Luna?”

“Nay sister. We have yet to find Michael.”

“Princess!” A guard galloped to the celestial sisters. “The creature was seen a stallions laboratory!” Both sisters looked at each other.

“Doth thee thinketh..?” Celestia sighed for the umpteenth time today.

“We believe so Luna.” She addressed the guard. “Gather a search party and look for Michael in the drainage river.” The guard nodded and galloped off.

“It appears Michael will now do anything to go through with his plans.” Luna said with a heavy sigh.

“It appears that way…” Was all Celestia could say.

“Tia?” She looked up to her sister. “Doth thee really think we could send Michael to his home?” There was a bit of hesitation, but Celestia nodded.

“I'm sure of it Lulu.” She said. “It is only a matter of time.”

“Are you sure?” Luna asked. Her vernacular catching Celestia off guard.

“Y-yes. I'm sure.” Luna cast a skeptical look, but didn't question her sister further. “We must look for Michael. Faust knows where he is.”

“Agreed sister. Let's.”

Alright, I've been walking for… I think it's been three days. The forest canopy’s kinda making it hard to see whether it's day or night. And strangely enough, I haven't felt the need to sleep. Good for me; more time to get away from those damn ponies.

Anyway, this trail’s taking me nowhe- Wait, there's something off in the distance…

Oh… It's an old-ass castle. Thing has seen better days. Hmm, the trench is pretty deep. Maybe I can hide here? Yeah, sounds like a plan…

Oh? There's A cave down here. Perfect.

…

There's a tree in the cave. Like, a giant tree. And it looks like it's made out some crystal. And it has symbols on its branches. The hell..?

Meh, don't care… Wait. It… There's something weird about this tree. I can feel… something, coming from it. I can feel the… The power radiating from it. It feels… Warm. I like it. I want more of it. I want more warmth…

Huh..? My body… I can't… Keep it… Ugh. Whatever, must get more warmth...Nnnyeh… almost… There! HahhhhAH! Oooooh I think I’m high… Wait. Why is there a black hole next to the… Eh? Why is… wha… oooogh… nappy time… Mmm…

…

Fuck me… That was one hell of a high. Why did it stop though? I’m pretty sure I passed out laying up against that crystal tree.

“Ahem.” Huh?

Oh. It’s another pony, she’s looks like Celestia. But this new one has shorter, shaggy red hair.

“Uh… Hi?” She raised one of her eyebrows.

“What are you doing in the void?”

“No clue. Last thing I remember doing was laying next some pink crystal tree.” Her eyes widened, that’d be a bad sign if I cared.

“My Tree of Harmony? What were you doing near my tree?” That tree’s hers? Who is this pony?

“I was looking for a place to hide and die in.” Weird, she had the decency to look a little shocked.

“Why would you want to do something like… that?” I shrugged.

“Eh, I don’t know. Couldn’t be because I was in an alien world with nothing to live for.”

“Oh, well then...” I think me saying it so casually is throwing it off. “Wait, wasn’t there somepony who could’ve at least helped?” A sigh drifted past my gooey lips.

“There was this one pony… Twilight was her name. And then there was Celestia and Luna.” Her looked turned critical, weird. “They thought they had a way to fix everything. It didn’t help.”

“I can see that… And what exactly lead you to my tree?”

“I actually found it on accident. As I said before, I was looking for a place to hide.”

“Why? Don’t you want to go back home?”

“Ain’t no way that’ll happen. Last time I checked, the only thing those ponies had failed. So I’ve pretty much lost all hope.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to lay down and starve myself to death.” I flopped onto my back while staring into the… black sky. Yeah, nothing else but black... So this is what the void looks like. Not bad.

Oh, that pony’s looking down at me. I wonder if she’s going to say anything.

“So… You’re going to just lay there?” I didn’t answer. “Until you die...” She looked away in thought. What’s she thinking…

“Well… would you be interested in a deal?”

“Unless your deal involves me going back home, ain’t interested.”

“Uh, interdimensional travel isn’t my forte...” Figures. “But, I could possibly offer you something else that you might like.”

“Like what?” She smiled, creepy.

“How does immense power and immortality sound?”

“Nope.” She pulled her head back a bit. I’m willing to bet she expected me to immediately take her offer. “Like I said. If you’re not offering me a way home. I ain’t doing shit. And besides, if you’re offering me magic as a form of power. My body negates that stuff.”

“You would’ve of had to worry about that...” She frowned. “Alright, look. I’ll see what I can do about your situation if you take my offer. I’ll even give a more… solid, body.”

“Oh yeah? And what can you do that the others haven’t done?” She smirked, she looks like a mean bitch when smirking.

“Well, I am responsible for creating this planet, solar system, and galaxy. I think I can working something out.” Or smug, either one works.

“And I’m supposed to believe that how?”

“Shake my hoof and you’ll find out.” Oh lord. She that kind of person.

“Mmm… Meh, not like I have anything else better to do, fuck it.” I grabbed her outstretched hoof and shook it. Making her smile.

“Perfect!” She exclaimed. “Now. First off; new body… Uh...”

“Human.”

“Really? Huh, alright then...” A few seconds later and I feel good again. But like that high from before, it went away. “There!” Oh please as if she can-

Oh, I’m human again… that’s cool.

“Second! Immortality!” I held up my hand.

“You can leave that one out. Trust me.”

“But… You’re not useful to me dead.”

“Still don’t care. I’m the one helping you out right now. Leave me mortal.”

“Fine… But still...”

“Alright, I think we can come a compromise...” I said while getting up, I gestured to come close, she did and I whispered an idea into one of her ears.

“Ooh~ I like your line of thinking! Alright. Invulnerability; Granted!” Her horn glows red, and I feel all tingly. “There! Now nothing can harm you! Except for yourself of course.”

“Alright, but I have one question: Why aren't you doing all this crap?”

“Ah, that's just from some stupid rule the higher ups made; I can't meddle in anything like that.”

“Oh, alright. So now what? Do I get weapons or anything?”

“Yes. This will be your weapon.” Her horn flashed, doe she really have to-

Whaaat the fuck is that? Is that a bracelet? That's a fucking bracelet. Why is she giving me a bracelet?

“You don't like it?” She saw my face, good.

“That's a bracelet. Last time I remember, fags wear bracelets.”

“Ooooh. Well then.” Hey. Don't get sassy with me. I'm the one you kinda begged into this deal. “Allow me to make it to your liking master.”

“Shut it. I can be more annoying if I wanted to.” She grimaced.

“Please don’t...”

“Don’t give me a reason to and we’ll be dandy.”

“Good to know.” She turned back to the bracalete. It then flashed so brightly I was blinded for a second. Once the big multi-colored spot faded from my vision. I was able to see again. And the pony was holding an awesome-looking watch. It was Deadpool themed, his logo was the background. It looked pretty awesome.

“This more to your liking?”

“Yeah, how do you even know about Deadpool?” She looks confused… Why?

“I don’t. I enchanted this watch to change its look to whatever you desired.”

“Oh that’s cool. Does that mean it'll only look like that to me?”

“No, as soon as you put it on. The style will become permanent.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” I then got to thinking for once. “You know, if I weren’t a pathetic, suicidal bitch at the moment. I’d bet we’d be friends.” She snickered at that. Too bad I don't have the mental capacity to care.

“That doesn't sound bad.”

“Yeah, it doesn't. I mean; a god being friends with a mortal. Not bad at all.”

...

“Are… Are you joking?”

“Take it however you want. Let's just move on to whatever you want me to do.”

“Alright… Well. To start. There's an old villain my children imprisoned a while back that has escaped. I fear they may not have it within them anymore properly stop him for good. Much less anypony else. Which is where you come in; I want you to make sure this guy doesn't do anything to severe. Like kill anypony, or destroy half of Equestria. And before you ask. I did enhance your overall strength and reaction time. So anything this guy might do to you should only hurt a little bit if he manages to hit you.”

“Why?”

“Again. Rules from the higher ups. I can't grant a mortal overpowering abilities.”

“Good point.” She nodded.

“Now, are you ready? I'm sure this may be slightly daunting for a mortal…”

“You should already know I don't really care. I'm still going to kill myself after all this is over.”

“What!? Why!?”

“No offense. But I don't wanna get my hopes up for probably nothing.”

“But… I'm a god! Sure, not one of those higher up ponies, but still! Can't you put a little faith in a god?”

“Sorry. I've always been an atheist.”

I have Meaning, it's not Much, but it's There.

And that's how I became good friends with a god. No idea why though; I meant what I said. My parents never believed in any religion. Sure, they believed there was a god. They just never specified which god they believed in. And I never believed in higher beings. Well… Until now.

I'm pretty sure I'd be having some kind of existential crisis if I cared enough. ‘Cause really, the pony’s existence, who I learned to be named Lauren Faust, pretty much proves that we were all created for, or from, some purpose. Think about it.

Anyway. After Lauren showed me the my watch can morph into any of the three weapons I chose, which are; A regular broadsword, a suppressed M16 Assault rifle, and a suppressed fifty caliber sniper rifle. She sent me back to the tree. She told me that I should head back to Canterlot, which I learned is where I was being forced to exist in.

As much as I didn’t care about anything, and wanting to just end it all, I went back. After a few days of living in the forest.

I only managed a few days ‘cause I found out that I suck at hunting animals. And there were these wooden wolf-thing that came back time after time I beat them to hell. Annoying bastards.

Speaking of beating things, I need to get a cape…

Meh, I’ll do that later. Anyway, Since I really had no idea of where I was. I just started walking in a random direction…

...

“I really didn’t think this through.”

Yeah, running into a dark forest, meeting a god, making a deal with said god can make anyone have that kind of realization…

It has been a week since Michael’s escape from Canterlot. The guards have been searching non-stop. The element bearers were looking wherever they could. Even Shining Armor and Princess Cadence had some of their guards help. Canterlot can only have so many looking while staying secure.

That was another issue. A lot of ponies were beginning to know of Michael’s situation. And of Michael’s existence, period. Sure, it was only the element bearers, Captain Shining Armor, And Princess Cadence. But that was still a lot according to Celestia. The less that know, the better. She thinks.

Anyway, it has been an entire week, and no updates of the whereabouts of the human were reported yet. It was concerning, maybe even completely frightening. For everypony knew just what might be happening, or what has already happened depending on who you asked.

The ponies didn’t know how to take this; the only living being of his kind, marooned on an alien planet, wanting to end his own life.

The implications these over-imaginative ponies thought of made them shudder to the bone.

And on top the general public having no clue about this, Celestia had to keep up a mask for her little ponies. There was absolutely no telling of what the solar diarch was thinking about at any given time. Only her sister knew what she was thinking, or at least, she had a close idea.

But that isn’t relevant at the moment. Right now, Celestia is dealing with the slice of tartarus that is day court.

“... And I demand that you pay damages to my door frame!”

“I am not responsible for your fat flank!”

How exhilarating it is to listen to the elites of Canterlot Castle, who boast about being the pinnacle of pony chivalry, civil behavior, and modesty, bicker and fight like two little foals.

To think Celestia has listened to endless dribble these ‘nobles’ come up with for centuries.

Hm. And Discord believes himself to be the most insane being. Funny.

Anyhow, day court was proceeding just usual when-

“Your highness!”

One of her solar guards burst into the chamber.

“Yes?”

“There’s been an… occurrence in Ponyville.” The guard stated using the designated word to convey what he meant to the princess around civilians.

“I see… Day Court is adjourned, we will continue tomorrow.” The ponies, minus the guard, nodded and left the large room.

“What happened?”

“The elements have found the creature. They say it ‘gave itself up’.”

*’Gave himself up’? He thinks he’s escaped from the dungeons...* The ancient pony thought to herself.

“What are your orders Princess?”

“Bring Michael to me.” The guard saluted and galloped off. Celestia made sure the guard was gone before she teleported to her sister’s room. She then softly knocked on it. She waited for about half a minute before a shaggy coated Luna with a bad case of bed mane opened the door.

“The elements have found Michael, he is being transported-” Was all Celestia could say before the door slammed shut. A few seconds later and Luna re-opened the door, looking quite like the princess she really is.

“Let us go escort him ourselves. We do not trust your guard. No offence meant, sister.” Luna said with a slight cringe.

“Oh, I know what you mean. They’ve gone soft over the years.” Both chuckled a little.

“Indeed, mayhaps we should retrain the solar guard?” Luna suggested as they began walking in a random direction.

“Why just my guard?” Celestia asked. “You guard’s been absent from equestrian history for centuries.”

“My children have kept their techniques and teachings well intact during my banishment. It is as if I never left when I witnessed what they call, ‘a regular training day’. Your guard would not last a single hour under our form of training.” The thin eggplant smirked devilishly at her sister.

“Oh? Care to make a little wager then?”

“What be the stakes, as they say?” Luna asked in a challenging tone.

“We choose the best of our respective guards, and have them spar against each other. And if my guards win, then I get to put your mane into cute pigtails.”

“Fine. If my guards win. I gain the right to your secret cake stash for the following consecutive month.”

Celestia’s pupils dilated a fraction of a yoctometer.

“Oh, you. Are. On.” Luna smiled in pure glee.

“Shall we perform our old hoof shake Tia?” Luna said before spitting onto one of her slippered hooves.

“Of course sister! Anything to validate our little wager.” Celestia spat into one of her gold-clad hooves. The ancient sisters then bumped their spit-on hooves together. Making a nice, quiet, wet, squishing sound.

“One team of three, one of each race.”

“You have a deal, Lulu.” They both withdrew and teleported to Ponyville.

It was just getting more complicated.

It was true, the Mane Six had found Michael, but he… he somehow got a new body.

But, that wasn't the strangest part. No, the strangest part, to the ponies at least, was how calm he was about it; about everything. Sure, all six of them knew about Michael’s… situation. But still...

That blank, dull look on his face. Those tiny, soulless, unblinking eyes. The girls have never meet an individual in such a state. Even one of Pinkie’s sisters looked more lively than this.

And it was especially freaking them out that Michael has been sitting in Twilight’s couch, completely still as a statue, for the past five minutes. For the girls, it might as well been an eternity.

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie tried making small talk with Michael, one of their ideas resulting in Michael being unflinchingly covered in confetti. While he always gave short, simple answers to their questions, leaving them nothing to expand upon. And all conversation died when Fluttershy asked whether or not Michael has any favorite activities.

“Right now, my current favorite is picking up one of those knives I saw in the kitchen and gouge my throat out with it. Even though I’ve never done it before.” All manner of thought, conversation and any sort of activity instantly froze. The ponies couldn’t, nor did they want to, believe what he just said. He was so blunt, he clearly didn't have a single care in the world about what tumbled past his lips. To say it stunned the six ponies, or rather, five; Rainbow was recovering faster than her friends, would be a bit of an understatement.

And while everypony else was too stunned to do or say anything. Rainbow, being the hot headed mare she’s known to be, flew right up to Michael's face.

“What. The. HAY!?” She yelled in that cracking voice of hers. “What makes you think it's ok to say stuff like that!?” She glanced at Fluttershy, who looked like she was on the verge of unconsciousness. “Look at what you did to poor Fluttershy! Seriously! That's not cool, dude.” She crossed her forelegs at Michael, expecting some form of apology from the human.

Said human, however, had something else to say. His eyes, those blank, lifeless eyes, focused on the prismatic mare. Sending a cold shiver down her spine. He took a second to respond, but when he spoke, his dead flat tone chilled everypony to the bone.

“You really think I care…” He said, more as a passive observation than anything else. “You really don't know a thing about me. I'm an alien-”

“We already know that!” Rainbow interrupted.

“-that had family.” Michael continued on as if Rainbow never said a single syllable in the first place. “I had family, friends, a bright future. I had everything anyone could really ask for.” Michael paused for some reason. “It was all taken away from me. I'm never going to see my mom or my dad's face ever again. I'm never going to become a computer engineer. I'm never going to able to hang out with any of my friends ever again.” His ice-cold gaze bored into Rainbow Dash. “I don't care about a damn thing I say. At the end of the day, when everything is over, I am going to find something long and sharp. And shove it as far as I physically can up my throat. At least then I'll feel something before I die.”

Michael's little speech silenced the room. The temperature seemed to have dropped to freezing. Everypony saw one another shivering. But none as worse as Rainbow. For she was directly on the receiving end if Michael’s dead gaze. She might as well have been staring at a corpse with how glossed over his eyes seemed to be.

A bright flash with a loud popping sound filled the room. Everypony flinched from the sudden occurrence. They covered their eyes with their forehooves. Michael, however, didn't react at all.

“The hay was that?” Rainbow asked while still rubbing the spots from her eyes.

“Good day, my little ponies.” A voice spoke. Everypony quickly recovered at that point, and then bowed to both princesses.

“Rise, my ponies. There is no need to bow.”

“Oh~ I know.” Rarity started when she stood straight up, desperately trying to change the atmosphere to something lighter. “But how can we not show our respect towards you?” Celestia laughed at that, she went to speak more, but her sister beat her to it.

“We are all friends here, are we not?” Luna asked.

“Well, yes. But-”

“Then thou acting as thyself thyself is enough respect for us. Right, dear sister?” Luna turned to Celestia.

“Yes it is, Luna. Thank you.”

“Thou art welcome sister.” She diverted her gaze back to the ponies. “Now, where is Michael?” Everypony lowered their heads. The atmosphere quickly changed again. The light in the room seemingly dimming a bit. Twilight warily raised a hoof and pointed at something diagonally to the right behind them. The princesses shared a confused glance before craning their necks at look at when she was pointing at. Both nearly gasped what they saw.

It was Michael. He had a simple blue plaid shirt. Pair of blue jeans with a black undershirt, seemingly leather belt, and on odd looking pair of… they assumed shoes. They had an odd design about them. And that odd curved check-mark didn’t help much. Maybe it is some sort of brand logo? It is a piece of clothing, it is not far-fetched since they are alien clothing.

Anyway, the princess quickly regained their composure, what little they lost of it anyway, and addressed the human. Luna was the first to speak.

“Michael, please come back with us. We can assist thee-”

“Yeah, whatever, let’s just go.” Michael interrupted. Catching everypony off guard. And angering a certain pegasus.

“Hey! Who do you think you are talking to the Princess like that!?” Rainbow shouted while, once again, hovering inches from his face. She quickly began to regret speaking when she saw Michael about to speak.

“Rainbow Dash. It is quite alright.” Luna said, jumping in spare the mare. “We should be on our way to Canterlot anyhow. We have many questions to ask.”

“I know. Let's just get on with it.” Was all Michael said before him and the princesses teleported away. That little fact bringing a bitter smile to Celestia; at least she can finally travel like that with Michael, when needed.

“Flankhole…” Rainbow muttered. “Who does he think he is talking to us like that? Especially the princesses too!”

“Somepony without inhibitions…” She turned bodily to Twilight.

“What?"

“What Twilight means is that Michael don't care Rainbow. He ain't got nothin’ holdin’ him back.”

“I have to agree with Applejack darling.” Rarity chimed in. “You heard what he said. He lost his family in coming here. Celestia knows what I would do were I was in his situation.” She admitted with a shudder. She couldn't fathom what she would do without Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah! We can't blame him for acting like that!” Pinkie said. Fluttershy mumbled something that sounded like an agreement to what the other mares were saying. Rainbow bared their words for about zero point three seconds before it became too much for the simple-minded pony.

“Rrrrgh! Fine! I get it! He’s been through a lot! Jeez!” She threw her forelegs into the air, as if crying out to the heavens.

One second, the hall was empty, devoid of life excluding the guards standing attention. They didn’t really matter since they were as still as statues most of the time.

This time, however, was not one of those times.

No, it wasn’t their princesses teleporting in from somewhere. No, it wasn’t from the smile on Princess Luna’s face. No, it wasn’t from the lack of dread since they saw Luna smiling. Although, they will have to wonder about that later.

No, it was the creature standing in between them. However, they did hesitate for a split-second. The thing seemed quite familiar to them…

No matter! As far as they knew. There was an unknown creature with them! A wild-card, if you will. They did not know its full intentions, despite the simple fact that it was obvious the princesses teleported themselves with the creature. And in fact… it does look really familiar…

Ah! It was that slimy thing that outran them and jumped off a cliff! They need to apprehend that thing! The princesses wanted that thing in custody!

“Halt!” One of the guards bellowed, he and the rest surrounded the creature and princesses, spears lowered. The guard then noticed, at first, the blank look on the creature. It just seemed to radiate this aura of ice-cold… nothingness.

A shiver crawled up their individual spines. They didn't, fortunately, have to experience this much longer. For their princess came to their rescue.

“That is not needed, my little ponies. We have Michael in our custody.” The guards looked at the princess, then towards the creature she called Michael -odd name. And did it as a brief glance, then back to their princesses. The nodded and withdrew their spears. Seeing as their princesses weren’t in any immediate danger. The diarchs smiled and walked down the hall with the human while the guards returned to their posts.

As much as that blank look from Michael will haunt them for days to come. They took solace in the very fact they completely ensured their princess’s safety.

Yes, they were super, tactical, as well. And handled the situation with grace, intelligence, and style. Yes, we must not forget how totally awesome they looked while protecting their princesses.

...

Mmm… over a thousand years, and they’ve never changed. Poor bastards.

I Almost lost it. (Rewritten)

Author's Note

Hello,Lazy here, I just wanted to say I rewrote this chapter because... well, the previous ending was rushed. I don't why I wrote what I did. But I hope this more... vague... ending, is more satisfactory.

Also, thank you to Romeo for pointing this out, I do hope this version is better. And don't hesitate to tell me otherwise. This helps me become a better writer.

I Almost lost it. (Rewritten)

The moon sat beautifully over the slumbering city of Canterlot. Well, mostly sleeping; there were still a few ponies milling about in the night hours.

But, deep within the castle itself, sat a large chamber. Big enough to be called an indoor stadium. It being able to hold just about three hundred ponies with enough room to prevent overflowing. In it sat the Solar and Lunar guard, filling the bleachers. Their respective princesses reclining upon elevated seats with a creature never before seen in between. Towards the center was a decently sized stage. Two groups of three occupying the elevated platform.

On one side, stood three of Celestia’s best: Lieutenant Bright Light, a unicorn. Lieutenant Meatheat, an earth pony. And Lieutenant Swift Hoof, a pegasus.

In the opposite side, stood three thestrals. Sergeant Shadow, a unicorn. Sergeant Saint Blade, an earth pony. And Sergeant Night Skies, a pegasus.

The whole chamber echoed with murmuring coming from the onlookers. Some placing bets while others simply watched. The room fell silent when Both princesses stood up.

“My little Ponies!” Celestia began.

“We call thee this night to test thy might!” Luna bellowed in a subdued version of her Royal Canterlot Voice

“We selected the top three ponies of our Royal guard, the best of the best. To see, once and for all, who will triumph in battle!” The guards in the bleachers roared in excitement. Celestia held up a regal hoof to silence them. “Competitors! To your positions!” The ponies in the ring lined up at opposite sides across from their counterparts.

“The match shall begin in three!” Luna started counting down. The six ponies crouched low. Plans beginning to form in their heads.

“Two!” Celestia continued. The ponies watching looked on with bated breath. This was it; do or die time. One side will leave with their head held high, the other with the heads hung low.

“One!”

“Begin!” Both princesses said. In that instant. The Solars rushed the Lunars. Swift Hoof took to the air, going for a dive bomb towards Night Skies. Bright casting a stun spell towards Shadow. While Meathead opted to gallop at full speed towards Saint Blade. The two moving Solar guards were upon their nightly counterparts in mere seconds. Cheering from their brethren urging them on. Celestia hid a smirk on her face. The Lunar’s haven't moved an inch! What were they thinking!? It was inevitable they will fall to her guard.

Meathead and Swift were mere feet away from their targets. But a yellow glowing shield halted their advance. Both of them dazed from the sudden impact, neither given enough time to prevent the collision. Night Skies and Saint Blade pounced. Night collided his rear right hoof with Swift’s jaw. While Saint delivered a solid uppercut to the jaw of Meathead. Both ponies who were struck stumbled back in shock. They weren't given any time to recover, however, as both Night and Saint wasted no time unleashing tartarus upon the two Solars. Leaving Bright and Shadow to deal with each other. Celestia's smirk waned before this point. How were the thestrals this fast!?

A loud clanging sound gained everypony’s attention. Bright and Shadow had teleported closer to each other, and erected barriers. It quickly became a power struggle. Both unicorns seemed to be a match for each other. Celestia smirked at this. She looked over to her sister, he smirk nearly vanishing when she saw the Look on Luna’s face. An almost manic smile was curving her lips. She looked back at the sparing ponies just in time to see the unthinkable happen;

Shadow, with a flick of his horn. Locked his barrier with Bright, somehow mixing his shield with Bright, and threw his opponent's shield off to the side. It gave Shadow the perfect opening, and quickly cast a stun spell. It hit its intended target, and Bright’s limbs locked up. Causing the Solar to topple over, leaving him a rigid mess. With the Solar unicorn down for the count, Shadow turned to his comrades. It appears they are in the power struggle as well. Meathead and Saint locked forehooves hooves and foreheads, trying push the other back. While Swift and Night looked as if they were performing aerial acrobatics rather than fighting. Every time they closed in on each other would result in a flurry of kicks and punches. Before breaking away to keep altitude.

Shadow pondered how he could aid his brethren. A simple plan quickly formed in his mind; he would cast a weak concussion spell towards Meathead, and a light flash bang spell on Swift. He began with the spell towards Meathead. The spell nearly knocking the Solar’s helmet off on impact. Meathead stumbled back a few steps, and his attention -rage included, were directed at Shadow. He took a single step, and then received a thunderous buck to the head from Saint. Rendering the Solar stallion unconscious. Saint nodded his thanks towards Shadow, who nodded back.

Both ponies turned their heads towards the dogfight. Shadow sending a bright spell to them. It was rather odd the spell was just shot from Shadow’s horn, seemingly with no real target intended for the spell. Then the strangest thing occurred. The ball of magic curved its trajectory halfway along its apex, it looked as if the spell had a mind of its own as it made its way straight towards Swift. The Solar pegasus’s back was facing it. Night saw the spell rocketing towards them and immediately pushed Swift away and closed his eyes while turning away. Swift looked confused at the sudden action. He shook it off and made to go for his opponent. But a bright, blinding flash of light enveloped his vision. He cried out from the little jolt of pain the flash caused in his eyes. Night heard this and moved in for the kill. He rushed Swift and held him by the withers with one hoof. While the other punched him in the stomach several times, with a last punch to the face before they hit the ground. Night threw Swift towards his fellow downed guard. Losing most of the momentum making for a soft landing. The three Lunar’s lined up, facing the princesses, and bowed. The stadium was in uproar. The Solars were screaming their discontent. While the Lunars were roaring and screeching their approval.

Meanwhile, with the celestial sisters. Princess Luna had the largest, smug, shit eating grin upon her features. Aimed directly at her sister.

“It seems that we are victorious, dear sister.” Celestia sighed an dlowered her head, defeated.

“Yes.” She said with a heavy sigh. Luna would've looked so adorable with pony tails! “It seems that way…”

“Aww. Do not fret Tia! Mayhaps you could win our next little bet?” Luna suggested.

“Yeah…” Celestia paused. An idea seizing her mind. “Maybe… Maybe we can turn this,” She gestured to the stadium with a hoof. “into a yearly tournament?” Luna gasped at this, there was an excited glint in her eyes.

“What a splendid idea Tia! Yes! We shall hold this contest annually!” Luna said. And Celestia flashed her own little impish smile.

“Good. ‘Cause I will get your mane into cute pony tails!” Celestia declared.

“We shall see about that!” Both sisters chuckled at each other. They then noticed Michael for the first time since the sparring match. They saw the look on his face. The jovial atmosphere almost went away.

“How doth thee think of tonight's match Michael?” Luna asked.

“I knew your guard would win.” He replied without missing a beat.

“Really?” Celestia asked with indignant tone. To which Luna snickered at; a mortal even knew how this match was going to end.

“Your guard have chased me around the castle three times now. And one of the those time lead me to jump off a cliff. Your guard are incompetent.” He answered bluntly before turning and walking away. The ancient sisters paused in their antics, and watched Michael as he walked away.

“I wonder how he really is when he's not away from everything he knows…” The elder muttered.

“We believe he may have been a nice male of his kind.”

“Really? Have you been in his dreams?”

“Yes, we have…”

“Did you find anything positive, at least?”

“... Nay.” Luna hung her head. “There was nothing in his dreams. He just sits in the middle of an inky darkness. We have tried to communicate with him. But ignores us, it is as if we are not there in the first place…”

“Oh my…”

“Has your student informed thee of anything regarding young Michael?”

“No. Twilight hasn't sent anything. Not even one of her usual friendship reports.”

“We see… Have you tired..?”

“No.” Celestia’s face hardened into a scowl. “I will not have Discord involved in any of this.”

“Ah, good. I trust him very little as well.” Celestia smiled a little. Her sister's starting to act like the older alicorn.

Both sister then regarded the stadium. The occupants have calmed down and are now waiting for what their princesses are going to say.

“Mine subjects!” Luna called out. Making Celestia frown a bit, she was not going to like her sister going through her secret supply of cake. “Tonight! My night guard rain victorious!” The announcement gained some mixed reactions. Every thestral screeched in celebration of their victory. While the Solars roared in disappointment.

“However!” Celestia said in a magically amplified voice. “We will host another competition next year! I advise all of you to train until then! Prove that you can grow stronger!” The very floor shook from all the pony’s shouting and stomping. Both Celestia and Luna got up from their seats and proceeded to leave the room. Followed by their guards. One would notice the amount of banter going on between the two groups. Well, it was more of the thestrals taunting and mocking the other ponies. Celestia and Luna smiled at it all. Though, their thoughts returned on the human.

How did he get a new body?

Where did he go during his absence?

Was he the cause of the magic flux in the Everfree?

How much cake could widdle Luna steel before the time expires?

These thoughts swirled around their heads, begging to answered. But, the alicorns will get their answers soon enough. In fact, there's the human right there! He seems to be looking a window…

Oh, poo…

“Michael!” Both princesses called out. Michael calmly turned to them.

“Yes?”

“Please, step away from the window.” Celestia lightly ordered. Michael looked back at the open window, then back to them.

“If you thought I was going to jump off. I wasn't, I was just breathing in some fresh air.” Celestia and Luna breathed a relieved sigh; he wasn't planning anything.

“Oh, that's good.” Celly said while she and Luna walked up to him. All three of them looked out the window.

The city of Canterlot has changed over the last thousand years. The buildings grew in height, artificial lighting dotted both residential and market districts. What are now considered ‘Royal’ colors covered every square inch of each and every building. Golden yellows, snowy whites, and various shades of lavender. All in different patterns ranging from simple upward spirals, to complex floral and peacock patterns. If it weren't for the reputation the ‘nobility’ built up for themselves, Canterlot would truly be known as the Pony Capital.

That would be ideal, wouldn't it? Mm. I suppose nothing can be ideal.

Too bad the ponies in Manehattan treat outsiders more as equals than most other settlements.

“What do you think of our city?” Luna asked, while getting the story back on track.

“It's very beautiful.” Michael commented. “I've been a few places like this back on Earth. Those were more lit up, and taller.” The last he said confused the princesses. Taller buildings? How is that possible?

“What doth thou mean ‘taller’?” Luna asked.

“How tall are these places here on average?”

“About nine levels. Why do you ask?”

“The average height of buildings in one city I’ve been too is twenty.”

The princess's eyebrows shot up at this. That’s impossible! Nopony can erect a tower that high.

“And the tallest ones their are over a hundred.”

Ok, now that's just ludicrous.

“Sure thou art jesting! That is simply impossible!” Luna said aghast.

“I'm not lying. I have nothing to gain from lying about human accomplishments.” Michael said. “If you want, you could go through my memories. I remember ponies saying you could do that, right?” He asked while looking at Luna. “We’ll do that when we're asleep. Speaking off…”

“We will have you escorted to your new room. But we have more questions.”

“Alright then, ask away.”

“How did you… Acquire this body?” Luna was the first to ask.

“I got it after meeting some pony.”

“What was their name?”

“Lauren Faust. I met her after I touched some crystal tree.”

…

The princesses were left speechless at his answer.

“You mean to tell us…” Luna whispered.

“That you met…” Celestia continued for her sister.

“This is insane!” Luna shouted. “Mother died millennium ago! There is no conceivable medium thou could have spoken through to her!” Michael shrugged.

“I did. Believe it or don't. I don't care.” Michael faced the window again.

“Wait… You said came into contact with a crystal before meeting mother?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah. Made me feel like I was high on something before I passed out. I woke up in some void thing when I met her.”

“I see…” Celestia turned to her sister. ‘You don't think..?’ She mouthed the question to Luna.

‘It is difficult not to believe him at this time.’ The Lunar sister mouthed back.

“Michael…” The human faced the ancient alicorns. “Why did mother give you a new body?”

“We made a deal.”

“A deal?” Luna asked.

“She wanted me to help you get rid of some ancient evil. She said something about ‘properly’ taking care of him for good. Something like that.”

“Wait…” Luna trialed off. The dots slowly connecting in her head.

“Mother wants you to kill somepony!?” Celestia shrieked. Michael nodded. “Did she tell you who you needed to kill?” He shook his head.

“She said we’ll know who it is soon.” Celestia was about to ask another question, but a guard galloped up to them.

“Princesses!” He shouted, he was a thestral.

“Yes?” Luna said.

“There's reports coming in about some creature stealing pony’s magic!”

It was only a matter of hours. The princesses, including Princess Cadence, had no time to prepare for Tirek’s arrival. They best they did was transfer all their magic to Twilight. Since the centaur knew not of her existence. With instructions telling her not to give her magic to the monster, Princess Twilight hastily left, just before Tirek burst through the throne room doors. He was about to demand the princesses give them their magic. But a human socking him in the face halted his advance.

Oh, that's right, Michael was here too. The princesses tried to send him away. But magic seemed to not work. So he just stood there, waiting for his moment.

“What is the meaning of this!?” Tirek demanded when he stood back up. He began looking for whoever attacked him. He then received another blow to the head before he could see his attacker. Tirek actually stumbled forward for a few steps, the hit coming from behind. His rage grew as he swiped his right arm back. He smirked knowing he hit the would-be hero. If the loud cracking and ominous crumbling of the far wall wasn't an indication. The princesses saw this all unfold before their very eyes, it was too fast for them, especially Cadence. So they cried out to the human when he slammed into the wall. There was a large crater where Michael landed.

“Who dares impede upon my conquest!?” Tirek bellowed while facing the pile of rubble. He watched as the chunks of marble began to quiver. He was curious to see the ‘pony’ who managed to not only harm him once, but twice. In quick succession no less. He was pleasantly surprised to see not a pony. But… something, stand up from the pile. It looked as if a diamond dog bitch had a pup with a minotaur.

“What are you?” He asked. How could something so insignificantly small do that much damage!? Tirek will have its head on a pike for this!

“I'm just a human.” The being answered. It then seemed to have faded from existence, but, it appeared inches from Tireks face. And delivered a downward punch to his snout. Tirek was unprepared for the amount of energy behind that little punch had behind it. It sent his head on a date with the marble floor.

Tirek had to think fast. He would not let this ‘human’ humiliate him any further!

The ancient monster quickly rose. A plan already forming in that tiny brain of his; if he could steal this creature’s magic. He’d be unstoppable with that kind of strength!

*Clap!* And it was rather easy catching the human.

Hah! Nothing is faster than the mighty Tirek! Now all he has to do is…

…

…

What!?

There's no magic in this thing!

How in the nine floors of hell is it that strong without magic!?

“What!?” Tirek roared in Michael's face. “Ho-” he was interrupted when Michael broke free from Tireks hands and proceeded to repeatedly punch him in the face. Soon, the centaur’s face resembled a bloated, bruised banana. Blood was leaking from open wounds. And his left eye was swollen shut.

“Enough!” He shouted while sending out a powerful burst of magic. It was enough to knock the human back a good distance. “Die!” He then grabbed Michael in his stolen magic. Or rather, he made an attempt, he couldn't wrap his magic around the human. This confused Tirek. After all, how could any living being resist a magical influence as strong as his?

Tirek shoved the thought aside and teleported close to the human, catching Michael of guard. Tirek used this opening and back handed Michael through one of the beautiful stain-glass windows. Tirek laughed through his battered face at how easy it wast to bat away the little pest. He jumped out after the falling human. The princesses cried out at Michael, and hobbled over to the shattered window. They were only able to see Michael and Tirek disappear into the distance. The three of them stared for what felt like an eternity, only one thought fluttering around their heads.

*I hope he's ok...*

Best. Day. Ever.

“What spell is next Spike?” A purple unicorn asked her draconic companion.

“Uh… Number forty six; ‘Animation’... What’s that?” The little drake asked while scratching his head.

“It means something moving of it own accord, like a pony walking.”

“Oh. Wait, you’re gonna make this book move around? Isn’t that a levitation spell?”

“Oh, Spike.” The unicorn chuckled. “I’m going to give this book a conscious mind. From there it should be able to move its own pages and cover like a pegasus’s wings.”

“What? You can do that?” Spike asked.

“Well, the spell exists. So it must work. Starswirl the Bearded did create the spell.” The purple bookworm explained. “Now, stand back! I’m going to cast the spell!” She said with a majestic flourish of her mane.

Spike chuckled to himself. Of course Twlight would get dramatic over a spell. But he still listened to his sister-mom and took a few generous steps backwards. Lest the spell hits him, as impossible as it sounds, and animate his spines or something.

A cold shiver crawled up his back. He just had to give himself that image.

Spike shook his head and went back to watching Twilight work her magic. Her horn was glowing, pretty brightly too, there were even sparks flying off the magical appendage. That’s new.

Spike then had this odd feeling of… something. He couldn’t quite place it, but there was what he thought was a familiar feeling building in his gut. In fact, he remembered the sensation, if only he could remember when, or where…

Then it hit him. The last time he feel like this was when he ate too many gems while reading some Power Ponies comics. He got this same feeling when he knew he was gonna get a belly ache.

But this confused the young dragon; why did get this feeling?

The answer came in the form a certain pony popping into existence at the wrong time.

“Hi Twilight!” The pink anomaly cheered, causing Twilight to jump and misfire the spell.

The magic bolt, instead of hitting its intended target, opted to rickashay off the table the book sat upon. It then proceeded to bounce off every surface in the tree dwelling. Everypony, minus the pink menace, dove under the nearest table.

“Pinkie!” Twilight screeched. “What are you doing!? Get under here!” She shouted. But words fell on deaf ears since Pinkie kept tracking the pink bolt of magic. Twilight face hoofed, and dragged her hoof slowly down her face and muzzle. She looked back at where Pinkie was sitting-

Aaaaand she’s not there.

Then where is-

“Hai!”

“Gah!”

Thunk

…

…

And that is why there is a hole in one of the library tables.

“Pinkie!” Tug “What.” Tug “How did you-” Tug “Ugh! Nevermind!” Twilight said exasperatedly. She put her full focus on detaching her horn from the table in one mighty tug. Finally pulling her horn free. Twilight shook her head and looked back at Pinkie.

Who was missing again.

Twilight looked to Spike, who pointed with a claw to her right. Twilight looked to where Spike was pointing just in time to see Pinkie bounce into the kitchen. Where they can hear the magic bolt rebounding within.

“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted before she got up from under the table and galloped to the kitchen. Both her and Spike turned the corner, and watched as Pinkie bounced around the room with the bolt. The pony and baby dragon duo could only watch, mesmerized at the sight.

But, like two special needs children fighting, all things must come to an end as the magical bullet hit a large container of water.

“Awwww...” Pinkie moaned when she realized the fun was over. “But I was having so much fun!”

“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted. “That was very reckless! Even for you! Do you even know what that spell could’ve done if it hit you?” Pinkie looked up in thought, much to the chagrin of the unicorn, and eventually shrugged. “It could’ve- Ugh nevermind, nopony got hurt in the end anyway.”

“Uh… I wouldn't say that so soon Twilight.” Spike said.

“Why?”

“Because...” He pointed at the jug of water. It was shimmering with a purple haze, it was shaking too.

Twilight immediately erected a shield around the three of them, fearing the worst. The ponies and dragon waited and watched as the jug fell off the table and splashed water everywhere.

But what struck Twilight as odd was; the water had the glow, not the jug, even though the jug should have been struck with magic. She initially shrugged it off as the plastic being see-through. But couldn’t help but remember that the magic reflected off one of the windows.

Twilight theorized the plastic was probably too thin to reflect the magic like glass. It was a sound theory, though, she will need to test her theory later.

Because, right now, the spilled water is pooling itself together.

“Twilight..?” Spike turned towards Twilight without taking his eyes off the now glob of water. “What’s going on?”

“I… don’t know Spike.” Twilight answered.

“Oooh~ Squishy!” Pinkie prodded the blob with a hoof. Twilight and Spike jumped, look to where Pinkie should’ve been, then back to where she currently is, then at the shield that was currently preventing anything from touch them.

“How..?”

“We’ll ask about it later.” Twilight said while dissipating the shield. “Pinkie! Stop touching that!”

“But it’s so squishy!” Pinkie responded.

“We don’t know what’s happening to… whatever happened to the water. We need to-”

A squelching sound interrupted the scholarly scholar.

She faced the blob of water. Only to watch in mild disgust as the blob quivered. It glowed again as well.

But then it started taking shape.

At first it looked like a newborn foal the size of Pinkie’s head. But then the limbs stretched out, resembling that of a minotaur, albeit in Twilight’s eyes. To Spike and Pinkie, the long things looked just like long arms and blue, possibly blueberry flavored, candy canes.

Then a little sphere decided to grow side opposite side where the parallel limbs grew. And the center mass took on a more rectangular shape.

The shape it was taking bewildered Twilight and Spike, even Pinkie. They’ve never seen anything like this, much less and entirely out of a substance that only takes shape in the containers it’s normally stored in.

The mound of… something, seemed to be finishing up taking shape when the ends of each limb gained some smaller appendages.

The final form of this thing confused the ponies and dragon even more. To them, it looked like an intelligent being. They could make out the head, legs, a second set of weird looking legs. It seemed those legs bent the opposite way relative to a pony.

Then the thing spoke

“Uuuuugh...” It groaned. It picked up one of its forelegs to drape the smaller things on the end of it across its face, which had a really short neck; they just noticed.

The thing kept moaning, from what the ponies and dragon could pick up as pain. Though, how a liquid can even feel pain was beyond them.

But then they realized. If whatever this thing is in pain, they have to help! After all, Twilight did just-

“Wh-where am I?” The thing spoke. And despite the thing having asked a question, nopony dared answer it.

The thing then froze. Its hand held completely still inches away from its face.

“The hell..?” It said. “Why is... my hand… see-through..?” Is stammered.

“That's because you're made out of gooey stuff silly!” Pinkie answered.

“Pinkie!”

The thing’s shot up and faced the ponies and dragon. Twilight instantly noticed its face was defined. It had small eyes, like, really small eyes. It also had an odd looking nose, a small chin. And there was even hair, or what can pass for hair on living water.

That’s another thing that struck Twilight, and Spike too, as odd. This being is literally made out of water. As far they know, it really looks more like jelly with how shiny and reflective the surface is.

Could that mean the water somehow became saturated with magic, giving its consistency?

Twilight had all these questions flying through her head miles a second. And on top of that. She had so many test to discover its inner workings!

But that would have to wait, it seems. For the newly created being’s head fell back. It made a wet ‘plop’ sound when substance impacted wood.

“What happened?” Twilight asked.

“Uhhh…” Spike began.

“The thingie was speaking really weird before its head fell back back to the floor. It think it's sleeping.” Pinkie finished. She walked over to the thing and looked at its head. “Yeah, definitely sleeping.” Pinkie deduced.

“Thank you for the input Pinkie.” Twilight said.

“You're welcome!”

“But there are more pressing matters at hoof. We need to… I don't even know what to do first.” Twilight trailed off while talking to herself. “I feel like I should send a letter to Princess Celestia. But I also really want to study this… Thing…”

“Uh… Twilight?” Spike hesitantly asked, getting the unicorn’s attention. “If could make a suggestion. Maybe we could send the letter first? I don't think whatever it is would like waking up attached to a bunch of stuff.”

“Oh? What makes you say that?” Twilight asked.

“Because it talked, just like us? If that's anything to go off on, it probably thinks like us too.” He deadpanned. He didn't know why, but Spike had this odd compulsion to be as sympathetic to the newly created being as possible. Maybe it was because he knew what his mother figure would do to to the poor thing if he didn't intervene.

Also, he reasoned, the thing was just born. It wouldn't be right if the first, or second, thing it woke up too was Twilight’s basement with all the doohickey things beeping and flashing.

Yeah, thank Celestia Spike thought of that.

“Huh, I guess you're right.” Twilight said agreeingly. “Spike? Take a letter.” The little drake pulled out a quill and scroll from behind his back. “Dear Princess Celestia,” She began.

Y’know something? I never thought I'd die drowning. Or at least, inhale just enough to make me pass out. Or something.

Then again, never thought I'd die so young, or at all, like, ever.

Since when do you think about stuff like that anyway?

Aaaand I'm getting off track. Anyway, so, yeah. Possibly dead right now. Hopefully not.

Oh, I can feel again. That's good. Probably means I'm not dead.

And I feel groggy too. Does that happen when you go through a near-death experience, only to live afterwards?

Well, that just happened to me. So, yeah…

“Ughhhhh…” Ooh! I can talk too. Nice. Maybe I can find out exactly what happened if I can talk to someone.

Yeah, flawless plan.

“Wh-what am I?” Alright, only managed to mumble once. Maybe I can see-

Why the fuck is my arm see-through.

How the fuck am I seeing the ceiling through my hand?

“The hell..? Why is... my hand… see-through..?”

“That’s because you’re made of gooey stuff silly!”

Who the fuck was that? That sounded like it came from below me… Even though I’m lying do-

Whaaaaat am I looking at?

Seriously, what the ever-loving fuck am I looking at?

Fucking, multicolored, tiny, horses. And a biped lizard.

Is one of them a fucking unicorn?! What the… Oooooh ok… Losing consciousness again. Fuck… me…

“And that’s when we sent the letter, Princess.” Twilight finished relaying past events to her mentor.

“Mhm...” Princess Celestia hummed while studying the… oddity before her.

The princess of the sun couldn’t make out what she was exactly looking at.

And that irked her.

She thought she has seen everything. She has been all over the world, after all.

Ponies, gryphons, minotaurs, dragons, zebras, she’s even seen hybrids between various species. Even the elusive seaponies.

So to see this… whatever it is. And to know that it spoke while it was awake, it baffled the Sun Princess.

“What doth thou make of this sister?” Luna asked.

Oh yeah, Princess Luna’s here too.

“I… I honestly have no idea Luna.” Sunbutt turned to her pupil. “You said this came from a 'jug' of water?”

“Yes,” Said student answered. “after it was hit with magic.”

“I see…” She said while trailing off. Twilight had said it didn’t make a move besides picking its head up. It can be assumed that this creature isn’t hostile.

But that would be a potentially dangerous assumption, if past experiences from those friendship reports were evidence enough.

And Princess Celestia simply can’t take that big of a risk. She already messed up one too many times. She will not take that risk again.

“We will take this… creature, to Canterlot for further study. Thank you for bringing this to me Twilight.” Celestia said while she charged up her magic for a teleportation spell. She heard her student’s voice. But chose to ignore it. Most likely it was something about the creature here.

Another thing she noticed was the lack of the creature being held in her magic.

Her eyes opened, after realized she subconsciously closed them, and looked at the creature-

It was stirring.

It was going to wake up.

Princess Celestia raised the best and strongest shield spells she knew around every pony.

She simply cannot take a risk with this new creature.

Ooh. Waking up again. How fun.

How do I even know I woke up again? My memory isn’t that good.

Well, I guess there’s a difference between going to sleep and passing out.

Good to know.

Anyway, I wonder if those… things are still there. I hope all of that was just a hallucination.

But all that crap was too real-looking to be a fucking hallucination. God damnit.

Well- wait. If… that means… Aww fuck.

I still got family to worry about. Jesus FUCKING christ can my life get anymore shit?!

“Doth thee speak, creature?”

Oh what? That voice’s new.

So there are more of those horse things? Great, fucking great….

Please don’t probe my ass.

“Huh..?” Oh, still barely able to talk. Wonder how long it’ll take before they rip my vocal cords out.

“We said-”

“Don’t, Luna.” Another new voice.

How many of those horse fuckers are here?!

Oh, right. I can find out myself. Opening eyes now.

Ok, there are five of them now. And the two new ones are fucking huge. Compared to the rest anyway.

And… is their hair..? Y’know what? Fuck it. Not going to question shit about fuck.

But still… what do I say? The hell do I say to keep them from putting shit up my ass?

“Hi?” Smooth. Fucking smooth.