I want Hay enchiladas banned from Equestria!
The light from Princess Celestia's horn died out slowly, and the only light visible now was that of the sun. A smile graced her lips from such a familiar sight, proud that she had been able to bring it up once again and brighten the lands of Equestria. Everypony would wake up to a bright and cheerful morning as always! Roosters would crow, alarm clocks would ring and Parents would groan curses to the sun. Her work was finished.
The Alicorn trotted back inside her room, then out of her living quarters through the door. She planned to prepare a breakfast for her and her dearest sister, and perhaps spend a few hours playing games or something of the like. When she arrived at the kitchen however, she found that her sister was hunched over the counter mumbling something to herself. Celestia didn't seem at all unsettled by this.
"Good Morning, Sister!" Celestia announced cheerfully, not noticing the odd twitch of her sibling's neck. "Im quite surprised you're up this e--"
Something happened in that split milisecond, something she wasn't sure she saw at all....but she was forced against the wall twenty feet behind her. Celestia blinked, too confused to really take in anything other than the angry face of her sister, who was breaking the laws of personal space greatly. Her dilated pupils bore into her more calm sister, who struggled a bit. "Uh, Luna? What are--"
"Let me tell you." Luna commanded, unblinking. "About my night."
Luna closed the door behind her with a sigh, a sigh filled with happiness. Today had been a spectacular day for her, and only because nothing was wrong with the day. Nothing ailed her or anypony else, time had been spent visiting some dreams and she had a very nice enchilada meal twenty minutes ago. The Alicorn princess gracefully yawned and slipped into her cozy bed, the blankets drawn over her shoulders in an instant. A stray hoof reached out and pressed a button on her large lamp, drowning the room in darkness.
Minutes passed by and soon turned into hours, hours filled with her quiet breathing and the occasional hoot of an owl that seemed to be tired as well. Her wings fluttered a little: a cute little thing she did sometimes in her sleep that was a sign of a good night ahead of her. And that night was good for our sleeping Alicorn, until a pair of unfocused eyes stared down at her face in a creepy way.
"Oh! Looks lahk somebuhdy's SLEEPY!"
Luna's eyes creaked open as slow as a walking snail at first, but then suddenly widened when she saw who was talking in that stupid voice. Her lamp, the one with blue paint and tiny stars all over it, suddenly had long arms and two stupid looking eyes that weren't even focused on her. It's nose was the button, ironically, and the lamp shade might be called a hat.
Luna stared at the animate object, blinking harder than she ever had in her life. If it weren't for her position in bed, her jaw would have been slightly ajar. "...How art though tal--"
"Eee hee hyuh huh!" The Lamp laughed idioticaly, a hand swiping forward to try brushing her mane. Luna wisely leaned back to dodge the hand. "But that's SILLY!
If this was a dream of some kind, she could at least control specific parts of it; Luna reached up with a hoof and smacked the button of the lamp as if hitting a spider timidly. The light turned out and the Alicorn quickly turned over in her bed to avoid giving it a chance at talking. The silence was defeating again, and she found herself starting to drift back off into her sleep. Her eyelids slowly rushed downwards to close over her blue pupils...
CLICK.
Her eyes shot open fast enough to slice through the air, but the only reward for such a feat was a idiotic grin from her hated lamp.
"How can yoo be sleepy, " It asked in a drunken tone, as dark blue smoke began to fill the entire room. Mouth gaping stupidly, the lamp gestured to colorful above her head in a specific order. " If yoo don't know how to have DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMZ...?"
Luna noticed the smoke, but was too distracted by the lamp's question to save herself from a night of misery. "I beg your pardon, but I probably know more than you on dreams. In fact, my ponies sometimes call me the princess of the--"
"DREEMZ ARE MOOVEES THAT LIVE IN YA HEAD!" She suddenly found herself sitting in a movie theater, with the lamp's arm around her shoulders in an uncomfortable manner. His dumb grin seemed immortally plastered on his face. "EVER-EE NAGHT WHEN YOO SLEEP IN YA BED!""
The Alicorn finally shoved his arm off and narrowed her eyes at him. "Thou really don't have a good singing voi--"
She was interrupted by a sudden change of scenery, in which she was about in a barren land riding on the back of a...oddly formed stallion of some kind and the Lamp was hovering above her head. "YOO KEN HAVE A DREEM ABOUT RIDIN A HOARSE!"
"I am already a h--"
" OR YOO KEN HAVE A DREEM ABOUT DROWNIN' IN OIL!"
"What?!" She looked down to see that there was no horse, but instead a pool of oil that her body was steadily sinking into. She struggled with her legs in fury, her horn covered in the slop and effectively shutting out her magic. Her eyes narrowed at the stupidly grinning lamp stationed above her head as she inhaled. "ENOUGH!"
And then she was in bed again.
Luna sat up straight and looked around at the familiar walls of her room, the well known paint that had placed on them and the material they were made out of. She looked to see her lamp without a stupid grin or any expression on it's face; it was completely normal again. The Alicorn rubbed her forehead and sighed in great relief.
" OAH! " Her head whipped to the right; her retarded lamp was standing on freakishly long legs next to her bed. " LOOKS LAHK SOMEBUHDY'S HAVING A BAD DREEM!
Luna felt a familiar wet feeling, growing in pure annoyance when she discovered that she was sinking into the pool of oil that was once her bed. A short flap of her wings managed to get her high into the air, safe from the threat of drowning in that inky black mess.
"A BAD DREEM! " The Lamp earned her attention from below. " A BAD DREEM! "
"Will thou stop saying that?" Luna asked through clenched teeth. "It is kind've annoying."
"..."
"...Thank you. Now, I--"
"A BAD DREEM! " The Lamp shouted louder and louder. " A BAD DREEM! "
"Okay, that is IT!!!"
"And...then what did you do?"
"Unspeakable things to torture that stupid Lamp." Luna grumbled halfheartedly, her head hanging as a result of her craned neck. "At least I was, until I woke up for real and chucked my lamp out of the window. Might've heard a scream down below but good riddance."
"That was certainly an...unpleasant dream to have." Celestia patted her sibling's back hopefully. "I believe we've learned that Hay Enchiladas aren't right for you. Especially before night."
"By the time I am finished, we shall not see another one of those loathsome dishes!" The blue Alicorn rolled her eyes and raised her right hoof for dramatic effect. "I hereby ban hay enchiladas from Equestria!"
Celestia sighed. "You can't ban hay enchiladas, Luna. I, as well as pretty much everypony in the world, like hay enchiladas."
"Oh cometh on! They're just taco sauce and hay rolls! You all can live without them!"
"I'm sorry, but that's my final word on the matter. You don't have to eat them, you know." Celestia regally explained, her mane flowing evermore. Luna made an indescribable whining noise and dragged herself out of the room without another word, excluding a few murmurs about finding her lamp and setting it on fire. The white Alicorn rolled her eyes in amusement. "That Luna...always the one with the weird digestive tract. I'll have to get her to a doctor sometime today..."
She looked towards the refrigerator and began to walk over to it. "Eh, why bother to have the chef make food today? I'll make pancakes myself this morning." She hooked her forehoof around the handle of the door and pulled it open, but she didn't see the pancake batter inside it. Instead, she saw saw a giant mass huddled and cramped inside the space of the refrigerator as if it had been there for hours. Her eyes widened as two goofy eyeballs blinked at her.
Fearfully, Celestia stepped back from the refrigerator and the mass shifted out from the open doorway, two big red feet planting themselves down. The mass straightened itself out to it's full height and briefly adjust a small head of brown hair, before it's increasingly eery eyes fell back on the Alicorn. Celestia blinked rapidly and swallowed, failing to prepare herself for whatever this odd creature might be do soon...
In an overly British voice, it spoke.
"But Pancakes make your teeth go gray!"
Author's Note
Aaaaand dumb story completed.
