Chapters Chapter 2 - The Town, Part I
They woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the windows. Surprisingly, Josh was the first to wake, yawning as he sat up and stretched. His bed was incredibly comfy, but he had to get out of it sometime – it was Saturday, right? It felt like a Saturday. Time to work on that distillation reactor, then. Hopefully he could convince the welding teacher to let him borrow some stuff…
Wait.
Wait .
Josh looked around hurriedly, yesterday’s events coming back to him. There was the gold nugget he’d found, on the bedside drawer next to him. His clothes were in a heap on the floor – he’d never been one for cleanliness, and today was no exception.
“Hey, Ben,” he called out. “You up?”
There was a grumbling response from the other side of the door, and a lump shifted in Celestia’s bed. “Well, I am now ,” Ben greeted in annoyance, sitting up as well.
“We’d better get moving soon if we want to make it to Ponyville at a reasonable time,” Josh reminded Ben.
“Right, right…” Ben acknowledged, then fell silent. Josh politely waited for five whole minutes.
“Ben?” he called out again.
The sound of soft breathing greeted him, and Josh sighed.
“BEN THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! ” he shouted, and Ben jolted upright, looking every which way.
“Who – wha – oh, you dick !” he exclaimed angrily.
Josh laughed uproariously at his sleepily furious expression. “Ahahahaha, gotcha! Anyway, don’t fall asleep on me. I don’t want to get caught by the Pony of Shadows or some shit like that.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Who’s the ‘Pony of Shadows?’ Sounds lame,” he remarked.
Josh grinned. “Supposedly, some imprint of Nightmare Moon stuck around the old castle. There was an episode where they ran around scared of her, but it turned out to just be Pinkie. And then Lord Tirek.”
Ben stared at him for a moment, then rolled his eyes, hopping out of bed. “Whatever. Okay, lemme get dressed first,” he asserted, closing the door between them.
Josh did the same, sliding on his shorts and shirt. He noticed the chemical burn marks on his leg hadn’t been fully healed yet – oh well, that was what he got for distilling bromine on a whim one lazy Saturday a few months ago. At least they didn’t hurt anymore, or look yellow-brown. Now, they were just angry red splotches on his otherwise white skin.
After putting everything relevant in his pockets, he joined Ben in the hallway.
“Anything from the castle that would be good to take?” Sam asked, looking around curiously.
“Hmm…” Josh thought. There were a few pony suits of armor stationed along the walls, complete with sword and shield, and he approached one curiously. Grabbing the shield, he was dismayed to discover that it was too heavy and cumbersome to carry, despite being small. "No, I think we're good,” he finally admitting, casting a longing glance at the shields.
“Anything else?” Ben asked, noticing his look.
Josh shook his head. “Anything else might qualify as stealing. Remember, we’re going for a good impression here, which is going to be hard. You remember their reaction to Zecora, right?”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t that because she didn’t talk to anyone, though?”
Josh shrugged. “Pretty sure they locked their doors before she got a chance, but whatever. Just… smile, act friendly, and don’t attack anything.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “I won’t have to act friendly. These are ponies ! It’s gonna be so cool !”
Josh chuckled. “Amen to that. Alright, let’s get going.”
They found two discarded rucksacks in a corner, and slipped them around their waists.
“Good thing we’re so thin. These ponies really are little,” Ben quipped.
“Speak for yourself, Railrod,” Josh grumbled, struggling to fit the sack around his belly.
“You’re not even that thicker than me? Hold on…” Ben muttered, leaning down to help him.
“Hrrk!” Josh got out as Ben managed to cinch them around his waist.
“Too tight?” Ben asked, looking at him in concern.
Josh tried moving around a bit. “Nah, I think I’m good. Reminds me of all those skinny jeans I used to wear.”
They stepped outside into the balmy weather, a morning breeze greeting them as the birdsong of the Everfree became louder.
“You know, this really is just a normal forest,” Josh remarked, looking around.
“Aside from the hydras and manticores and timberwolves and whatever,” Ben pointed out.
“Fair enough,” Josh amicably agreed. “Now, if I remember right, Ponyville’s at the north edge of the forest, which is quite a ways from here. So how do we find north…” he muttered.
“Wait… there’s a compass in my pack, I felt it earlier,” Ben happily exclaimed as he pulled out the item in question.
Josh stared at it in surprise. “Wow. It’s made of brass, and it’s one of those really old lodestone-water types. Cool! Alright, that means we go this way,” Josh declared, striding forth.
“But that’s back the way we came …” Ben muttered, reluctantly following along.
“So, is Ponyville downstream or upstream?” Ben asked curiously as they wandered through the woods a while later.
“Someone once laid out a potential map of Ponyville and the surrounding areas, using a ton of references. According to that, the river looped around the Everfree before going through Ponyville. I don’t remember which way it went, though, so I guess we’ll figure out when we get there,” Josh answered at length.
“Knowing them, they put it upstream just to dick with us,” Ben joked.
Josh laughed. “Heh. Definitely.”
Ben took on a ponderous expression for a moment. “What’re we gonna say to Twilight?” he asked after a while.
“Princess Twilight,” Josh automatically corrected. “And… I’m not sure. The truth, I guess. We can only hope that humans aren’t toxic to ponies somehow…” he muttered.
“Wait. That’s a thing?” Ben questioned.
Josh nodded. “Some stories posited that because humans have no magic, we act like a magical black hole, and it ranges anywhere from uncomfortable to life-threatening for magical creatures to be near us. Hopefully we don’t immediately murder Princess Twilight on contact, or something,” Josh sighed.
“You mean kill, right? Murder implies decisive action,” Ben corrected.
“You know what I meant!” Josh retorted, grinning. “Besides, what about all the human diseases we have and nopony has any immunity to? Shit, this might be like the early colonization of the United States. 90% of Native Americans died before they even saw any white people, just because of the fucking flu or some shit,” Josh realized, beginning to worry.
“Hey, hey! These are ponies. They’re magic , remember? And they have flu, I’m pretty sure somepony had it once on the show,” Ben cajoled.
Josh slowly came down from panic. “Okay… maybe you’re right. Still… I’m taking no chances.”
Maybe an hour after they had started walking, they came to the edge of the same river they’d been walking by all day yesterday.
“Didn’t the Elements cross a river to get here?” Ben wondered.
“You mean the Mane Six?” Josh questioned.
“Don’t call them that. It’s a stupid term, and nobody here will understand it,” Ben replied.
“Jeez, sorry,” Josh muttered.
“It’s cool, it’s just… I left the ‘brony’ fandom a long time ago, and I associate a lot of terms and stuff with it still,” Ben explained.
“Fair enough. And yeah, I’ll just try to call them by their names. Revealing that we know almost everything is almost guaranteed to result in imprisonment or worse,” Josh mused.
“Hey, lighten up. This is a world of friendship, and magic! I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Ben proclaimed.
“You haven’t seen the things I have,” Josh muttered under his breath.
They squelched their way across the river, both of them extremely uncomfortable at the amount of water currently weighing down their socks and shoes.
“Why didn’t we build a raft, or something? Or topple another tree?” Ben complained.
“Would’ve taken too long. Besides, let’s just wring out our socks and shoes when we get to the other bank. The sunlight will dry them off in no time,” Josh explained.
They did just that, Josh wringing extra hard to get any last drops of water out of his socks. He’d had bad medical experiences with his feet before, and he had no desire to add any more surgeries to the list. That done, they kept walking north, hoping that the remaining obstacles weren’t quite as wet.
To their surprise, they shortly came to a steep cliff face, which sharply veered into the treetops.
“Well, now what? I don’t think I can climb that,” Ben informed him.
“We might have to,” Josh replied. “I’ll see if I can find a better way around.”
It took him and Ben a little over an hour of searching, but eventually they found a less steep way up the cliff face. It appeared as though it had been cut into the cliff by tools, and Josh wondered if this was the actual path the ponies took to get to the castle. It didn’t seem like much of a path yet…
They hiked up the cliff face, the zigzagging trail only serving to annoy and exhaust them as it forced them to turn again and again just to progress. But, finally, they made it to the top, and collapsed from exhaustion.
“Let’s… let’s have lunch… no sense going forward on an empty stomach…” Josh panted. Slowly, they pulled a sandwich each out of their rucksacks and chomped into them. “Hell yes, peanut butter. My favorite,” Josh exclaimed.
“Bleh! I’m starting to see why you didn’t like the flower sandwich yesterday,” Ben complained, and Josh laughed.
After a few more minutes of rest, they set off again, and Josh was surprised to find an actual trail stretching out before them. “Well. This’ll help,” he remarked.
“Can I have the compass back? It looks badass,” Ben asked.
Josh rolled his eyes and handed it back, careful not to disturb the metal-and-glass contraption too hard. “You and your obsession with pocket watches and compasses. Such a gentleman .”
Ben laughed heartily. “You say that like it’s a bad thing!” he mock-complained, and Josh rolled his eyes.
“Hey… we haven’t run into any wildlife yet, and it’s starting to worry me. With the ponies, it takes, like, five minutes before a timberwolf or something jumps them, and we’ve been in here for an entire day ,” Ben mused.
Josh hummed in thought. “I think that might’ve been due to jumpcuts. Also, didn’t we see that thing behind us yesterday?” he reminded his friend.
“Well, yeah, okay, but that was one thing. I was expecting more than one thing,” Ben replied.
Josh shrugged. “Maybe they’re avoiding us because we're new. Or maybe this is some sort of post-apocalyptic Equestria.”
Ben scoffed. “Would you cut it out with the doom and gloom? Just because you read a fanfic about something doesn’t make it likely to happen!”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Ben. We are in Equestria .”
Ben fell silent for a moment. “…Point taken,” he muttered. “Still, most writers don’t write about that stuff. Right?” he asked. Josh begrudgingly nodded. “So, odds are this Equestria’s fine , and we’ll be fine . That’s like, probability or whatever. Math .”
Josh laughed. “If you say so, Mr. Mathemagician. Personally, I feel like…” he trailed off as he caught sight of what lay ahead.
The small cottage was unmistakable, as were the animals bustling about it. To Josh’s shock, he thought he spotted a falcon leading a group of chickens to a feeding trough, squirrels running around stacking nuts in neat orderly piles, and even a bear dusting off a window.
“Wow. They weren’t kidding about the animals being smart, huh?” Josh noticed.
“So… that’s Fluttershy’s cottage, right? Either that, or Snow White,” Ben tried to joke, although Josh could tell he looked nervous.
“Honestly, I think we’d better skip Fluttershy for now. She would most likely panic, and I just don’t feel like causing her that kind of stress,” Josh remarked as they made their way around the cottage, giving the bear a wide berth just to be safe. The animals looked at them in surprise as the two passed by, but made no other movements, so Ben and Josh elected to continue onwards.
"Okay, so we’ve confirmed that this is a fairly normal Equestria. Like, 80% normal. Fluttershy takes care of animals, and they’re smart enough to do chores and stuff…” Josh began ruminating.
“Hey, left or right?” Ben asked as they came to a fork in the trail.
“Uhh… Right?” Josh guessed, still lost in thought.
Sighing, Ben began walking right, and Josh absentmindedly followed.
To their dismay, this was not the path to Ponyville. A few houses were in this area, surrounded by healthy-looking evergreen trees, and a clock tower loomed over them, the time displayed being around 5:55 P.M.
“Whoa. Didn’t think we were in there that long,” Josh remarked.
“…Anyway… let’s go back, Ponyville’s probably the other way,” Ben asserted.
“Where is everypony, anyway?” Josh wondered. “It’s unlike them to desert this place… I think.”
They found their answer almost as soon as they came back to the trail to Fluttershy’s. The hustle and bustle of activity was clearly audible even to Josh, and walking a few feet down the trail to the left gave them a view of the tip of the Town Hall.
“Well. I am apparently very stupid today,” Josh commented.
“Damn right you are, my shoes are still wet from the river. I thought you said the sun would dry them off!” Ben complained, walking forward anyway.
“Well, our sun would. Then again, if we were dealing with our sun, the two of us would have a nasty case of sunburn right about now,” Josh noticed. “I guess this sun doesn’t produce ultraviolet light?”
Ben nodded, warming up to the idea. “That would explain why we can look at it, right? Not enough energy to overload our optic nerves?” he posited.
Josh smiled. “Hey, you’re probably right. Huh. I guess Celestia doesn’t feel like blinding her little ponies,” he joked.
They passed by a barn on the way, and Ben stopped to look at it. “Is that Sweet Apple Acres?” he wondered.
“No, Sweet Apple Acres has a bigger barn, I think. This is probably somebody else’s farm,” Josh answered.
“Hey, there are cows inside!” Ben pointed out.
“Huh. Remember, cows are sapient here. They can talk, and stuff,” Josh reminded him.
“I know, I know. Trust me, I won’t be tipping one any time soon,” Ben snorted.
Just then, the sun began to quickly lower from the sky, startling the pair of them as the lighting quickly shifted from high noon, to sunset red, to a beautiful shade of midnight blue. The moon just as quickly took its place, though Josh could have sworn he detected a faint wobble on its way up. He elected to ignore it, and after some hesitation the two walked off, the cows who had been watching them blinking at each other in confusion.
They continued along the trail for a short while before coming into view of Ponyville. To their surprise, nopony was in the town proper, though the Town Hall appeared to be lit up.
“Looks like everyone in the town’s there, maybe a meeting or something,” Josh reported.
“Oh, good, we’re gonna have to introduce ourselves to all of them at once,” Ben groaned.
“Expect Rainbow Dash to tackle one or both of us,” Josh warned.
They cautiously walked through the town, heading across a bridge and arriving at the Town Hall.
“Okay, so, we go in there, introduce ourselves, and hopefully not die,” Ben planned, sounding worried.
“Wait… what’s that noise?” Josh wondered, holding up a hand to stop Ben’s machinations.
“What sound?” Ben replied, confused.
“Sounds like… a kid crying,” Josh mulled. “I’m going over there,” he decided.
“Oh – come on, it’s probably just some kid who dropped their ice cream or something-“ Ben attempted to reason, but Josh was having none of it.
“We’re going,” he declared, and that was that.
Ben gave one last, forlorn look at the Town Hall, before reluctantly following Josh into the shadows.
“Huh. Coulda’ sworn it was coming from this alleyway,” Josh muttered, facing the pitch-black alley in question as he stroked his beard in thought.
“This… this doesn’t look safe, Josh. Let’s go,” Ben cajoled.
“Hello?” a small voice called from the alleyway, and they both froze.
“…Who’s there?” Josh called back.
“Don’t hurt me, I friend,” the voice squeaked again, sounding both young and unreasonably tired.
Josh motioned for Ben to step back, now wary himself – did he really want to fall for the old “someone needs help in this alleyway” trick?
To their surprise, the creature that dragged itself out was by no means threatening. Her tiny carapace was bruised and mottled in the moonlight, and her eyes and thin stomach spoke of hunger too great for one of her size to endure.
“A changeling…” Josh murmured.
The changeling covered its face upon hearing this. “I friend, I friend! No eat!” it pleaded, quivering.
“Oh, jeez…” Ben muttered, looking apologetic but still suspicious.
Josh reached out a tentative hand. “Hey. I promise not to hurt you either. Friends?” he softly asked, smiling down at the small changeling filly.
“Josh…” Ben trailed off, a note of accusation in his tone.
Josh looked over at him, unimpressed. “What? It’s just a baby one. And a really hungry baby at that.”
The changeling adopted an indignant face. “I not baby! I four!”
Josh smiled down at her knowingly. “Whatever you say… uh… what’s your name, actually?”
The changeling smiled up at him, revealing her impossibly sharp teeth. “Chelicerae!” she introduced, though to Josh it sounded more like “Kuhlisseray.”
He smiled nervously. “That… is a fascinating name. So… you are hungry, right, Chelicerae?” Josh asked apprehensively.
Chelicerae gave him puppy dog eyes. “Food?” she pleaded.
Something was decided in Josh’s face, and he held the tiny filly up and brought her in for as gentle a hug as he could muster. “Food,” he agreed.
The changeling’s tongue poked out, a squeaky hissing noise emitting from her maw as she greedily ate something Josh couldn’t see. “So much …” she moaned cutely, licking her lips as she pulled away. Already, she looked in significantly better shape, and Josh was intrigued to notice that the mottling on her carapace had disappeared, replaced by the glossy smooth texture he had expected.
“Does it hurt?” Ben asked curiously.
Josh shook his head. “I didn’t feel anything. Maybe she’s too small to affect me much?”
Chelicerae looked up at him nervously. “Feed friends?” she asked.
Josh nodded. “Sure, where are they?”
Chelicerae excitedly led them further into the alleyway, the two stumbling along in the dark. “How did you get here, Chelicerae? Like, how did you enter this town?” Josh asked.
“Momma took us here! Said Twilit help!” Chelicerae answered happily.
Josh exchanged a look with Ben, though it was mostly lost in the darkness.
“Did Twilight help?” he asked carefully, but Chelicerae ignored him as she walked up to a lump that Josh had thought was a trash bag.
“Momma! Food friends!” she called out, poking excitedly at the black, glossy lump.
An orifice opened on top, and a much older, though just as worn-out changeling peeked out warily.
“Food?” she asked, her voice sounding raspy and dehydrated.
“Um, yeah. Hi,” Josh introduced, waving at her.
Her head snapped around, then tilted at the scene of the two tall, bipedal strangers in her alleyway. “What you?” she queried.
“We’re human,” Ben spoke up.
“Hue-man love?” The mother changeling asked.
Josh looked at Ben. “Um… yes…?” he asked.
Her hackles raised. “Hue-man court daughter ?” she challenged, and Josh immediately backed away.
“What?! No! She’s four , I was just trying to make sure she didn’t starve !”
At this, the mother’s hackles slowly lowered, though she still glared intimidatingly at them. “I am Coxa,” she introduced, sounding as though she’d been taught to say this. “You feed daughter?” she asked, sounding less wary but still apprehensive.
“Yeah… is she… does she need more?” Josh wondered, looking over at the small changeling filly.
“I full!” Chelicerae happily added to the conversation.
Coxa looked at her daughter appraisingly, then slowly climbed out of her cocoon, joints creaking.
Josh extended his arms in the universal “hug plz” position, kneeling down, and Coxa nodded. She began stalking toward him with an almost predatory leer, causing Josh to reel in his arms slightly as a touch of fear chilled his veins.
Sniffing the air, Coxa stopped, looking at him almost apologetically. “Sorry,” she apologized wearily. “Old habit.”
Josh nodded, re-extending his arms, and she slipped into them, just barely managing to wrap her hooves around his neck. “It’s okay,” Josh answered, wondering if he really meant it.
Coxa opened her mouth to begin feeding as well, and Josh twitched as he felt a vague tugging sensation in the center of his brain, almost as though he were on pain medication for a headache. She fed for a long time, and the tugging slowly increased until Josh began to feel oddly numb.
“Okay, I think we’d better stop,” he lazily informed her.
Coxa ignored him.
“Um, lady?” Josh asked again, beginning to feel slightly worried.
Coxa immediately pulled away, regarding him with displeasure. “You fine,” she chided. “Don’t be baby.” She was about to start again, but Ben intervened, putting a hand between her mouth and his forehead. “What now?” Coxa asked, annoyed.
“How about you feed on me instead? No sense draining one person, right?” he tried.
Coxa sighed, rolling her compound eyes, and moved over to him, Josh watching in fascination as she fed off of Ben instead. She stopped much sooner than she had for Josh, and pulled away, licking her lips in satisfaction.
“Good love…” she murmured.
“Thank’oo!” Chelicerae squeaked, sounding as though she too had been taught to rehearse this line.
“You’re welcome,” Josh amicably answered. “Are there any more of you?” he asked.
“Others out getting love from Queen Twilight,” Coxa informed him. “Waiting on Town Hall meeting end.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you two with them?” he asked.
Coxa sighed. “Not enough love,” she murmured. “We take turns.”
Josh looked worriedly at the pair of them – they’d clearly been starving when he first saw them.
“We… we’re going to speak with Twilight right after this. We’ll tell her you need more-“ Ben began to assure them, but Coxa looked frightened and pressed a hoof to his mouth.
“No!” she frantically hissed. “Queen Twilight too nice already! Cannot ‘overstep bounds!’”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “No ‘bounds’ should prevent you from getting enough food to survive,” he countered. “What has Twilight done for you that you would be unwilling to ask her for more?”
Coxa hissed threateningly at him. “Queen Twilight gave food and home when no pony queen would. Celestia hates us, Luna hates us, Cadance… Cadance despises us. Twilight gave us a chance.”
Josh raised his hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean to insult her… or you. I just want to know how best to help,” he softly replied.
Coxa grumbled something. “Thank you. But… we survive. We better off than in hive,” she whispered.
“Well, I’m going to help. I don’t know how, but I will,” Josh declared.
“I’ll help too,” Ben added. “You don’t deserve to live in an alleyway , you’re not… not vagabonds.”
Josh refrained from adding that the changelings technically were vagabonds, if not refugees outright.
Coxa sighed again. “We start small. Maybe, someday, we have… home. Chelicerae already go school, I work in castle.”
Josh’s heart twinged – how could anyone have allowed this to happen? “Until that day, I will do my best to help you along. But… I must go. We must get home first,” he regretfully admitted. “Be good, okay?” he told Chelicerae, who nodded enthusiastically.
“Bye,” Ben called as they left the alleyway.
“Will never forget you, friends!” Coxa called back, suddenly sounding emotional.
“Oh, man, that was so sad …” Ben murmured as they returned to the Town Hall.
“Yeah… still, I bet I can help. Remember when we talked about artificial love?” Josh reminded him.
Ben halfheartedly chuckled. “You mean that ‘entirely theoretical’ device that basically involved you shooting magic at a bunch of drugs until love comes out?”
Josh laughed. “Yeah, that. Now I want to see if it works.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “First things first. We get home, we figure out if we want to establish diplomatic relations between Earth and Equestria, and then we can get started on your magical inventions.”
Josh sighed. “Fine… This is why I hate making promises. It’s always so hard to just drop everything and fulfill them.”
Ben hummed. “At least we know Twilight’s nice… sort of. Celestia and Luna are still on the table for ‘evil overlords.’”
Josh laughed. “Them hating changelings doesn’t really prove anything one way or the other. Anyway… here’s the Town Hall.”
Chapter 3 - The Town, Part II
They ventured towards the Town Hall, remaining quiet so as to not cause a scene. Ponies inside were listening as Mayor Mare told some story or other about Equestrian history, and Josh briefly wondered what was going on.
“-and to this day, nopony knows quite what happened to them. They could be anywhere – even right outside this door,” the mayor finished with a little laugh.
Ponies turned towards the door, where Josh and Ben were waiting, and gasped in shock as they caught sight of the two massive silhouettes in the doorway, the closer ones shying away.
“Um, hi,” Josh introduced himself, aware that what must have been the entire town of Ponyville was staring at him. “We just got here… what’s with all the nighttime activity?” he wondered aloud, hoping they wouldn’t just attack him on sight and trying very hard not to swear like he normally did. He chanced a look over at Ben, who simply looked faint.
“Are we having some kind of party?” he pressed on, faltering slightly as the ponies continued to simply stare at the pair of them.
“YES!” a familiar, high-pitched voice shouted from near the front, and Pinkie Pie zipped forth, making use of eye-straining cartoon physics to instantly appear before the two. “Omigosh! Wowee, what are you ? You’re so tall , and you know what a party is! You must be aliens from outer space ! Are you ammph!” Pinkie finished as a glow of purple magic forced her mouth shut.
Twilight Sparkle, wings in place and a curious frown on her face, trotted up to examine the pair of them. “Humans…” she whispered.
“Um. Yeah. We’re human. We got… transported into the Ev – the forest outside of town, yesterday. Do you know what’s going on?” Ben asked nervously. Twilight might have barely come up to their waist, but this was the same mare that had taken on creatures the size of skyscrapers without so much as breaking a sweat. She could easily take them apart if she so desired.
Twilight slowly shook her head. “If you mean what brought you here… I have no idea. The Everfree Forest is a strange place… maybe some magical surge teleported you here… but from where ?” she pondered, lost in thought.
“Uh, Twi? Don’t get distracted, now. These ‘humans’ don’t look in the best of shape… which is ta be expected, coming out of the Everfree,” Applejack spoke up. She trotted up to get a better look at them, adjusting her Stetson cowboy hat as she gave their tattered, soaked clothes and unkempt appearances a once-over. "Ya'll aren't actually gonna attack us, right? Only, what with all the bad stuff comin' outta the Everfree..." Applejack trailed off.
Josh quickly shook his head. "No, no, we're friendly. We won't hurt you," he promised. Applejack looked at him for a moment, then smiled, grabbing his hoof with her hand and shaking it vigorously. "Well, then, howdy and pleased to meetcha! My name's Applejack, I run Sweet Apple Acres - that's the apple farm down the road," she introduced.
"Nice to meet you, Applejack. I'm Josh, and this is Ben," Josh returned, wincing as Applejack finally let go.
Twilight, who had been watching, shook her head free of whatever theories she had been coming up with, and smiled sheepishly at them. “Right… well… let’s get you a bath and something fresh to wear. I know how you ‘humans’ are with clothes,” she cheerfully remarked, leading the two away from the Town Hall with Applejack and Pinkie close behind.
“Thanks, I was worried about that. These things are falling apart,” Ben muttered, pulling at his clothing.
Twilight giggled. “I’ll have Rarity whip something up for you. She’s another friend of mine, and a really good seamstress," Twilight remarked. "That reminds me, I should introduce you to my friends! You already know Applejack," Twilight began.
"That's my name, don't wear it out," Applejack chuckled, tipping her hat in greeting.
“And this is Pinkie Pie. She’s… really excited about meeting new people,” Twilight explained, finally ceasing her flow of magic across Pinkie’s mouth.
Pinkie took a huge breath of air, and then smiled up at Josh. “Hi! Do you like parties?” she asked.
Josh shrugged. “Haven’t been to all that many. I’m not exactly big on socializing. But hey, before I forget. Have you met any humans before?” he asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow. He knew that she indeed had met humans before, but was trying to establish a precedent in case he screwed up and asked about something he shouldn't know about.
“I did,” she answered. “Though, I had to use a magic mirror made by Starswirl the Bearded to visit their world, and it appeared to be some strange mirror copy of our own.”
Josh nodded in pretend interest, confirming a few things in his head. So far, he’d determined that Equestria Girls actually happened, and that no other humans had come this way. That ruled out quite a few possibilities on what kind of Equestria this was. He looked over at Ben once more, to find that his friend was simply tagging along, remaining silent.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, causing Twilight and the others to look over as well.
“I…” Ben trailed off, avoiding everyone’s gaze.
Josh studied his face for a moment more, slowly realizing that Ben was shy . “Ah, it’s cool,” Josh dismissed, unable to think of any other way to end the conversation without causing Ben further embarrassment.
“So, what about what’s going on here? Why are you all awake at night?” he asked, changing the topic. He hadn’t seen any Halloween decorations, so he assumed it wasn’t Nightmare Night – which, considering it was September back on his home world, made some sense. Maybe.
“Well, ever since Princess Luna returned – she controls the moon and night sky, by the way – her sister Celestia, princess of the day decreed that this be made a national holiday. I think she did it to please Luna, because she wasn’t exactly happy with Nightmare Night as a holiday, but… I haven’t heard from Luna all night.”
Ben curiously glanced at her. “So, what’s the point of the holiday?”
Twilight sighed. “It’s apparently about Luna’s and Celestia’s lost sons, Prince Miracle Matter and Prince Clockwork Chronology. They disappeared around the same time as Luna became Nightmare Moon – er, not that you’d know about that. Basically, she went crazy and turned completely evil, and Nightmare Night is about dressing up as somepony frightening in hopes of evading her dark magic, and giving candy to foals. Nopony quite knows what happened to their children, but Celestia decided to celebrate and remember their existence in hopes of cheering Luna up.”
Ben raised an eyebrow, and began to question Twilight on some other things, but Josh wasn’t paying attention. He was by now thoroughly confused, and slightly frightened. ‘Miracle Matter’ had never existed in the show canon, and had never even been brought up before this point. More to the point, he’d once made an OC called ‘Miracle Matter’. Alicorn Prince of Space, and overpowered as usual. He’d thrown the character out almost immediately, because who listened to a story about an alicorn nowadays?
“Anything else you know about this ‘Miracle Matter?’” he inquired, interrupting Ben, who had been about to ask another question.
Twilight shook her head. “There was nothing in my library about him… though considering half my books were destroyed by a… recent mishap, that’s not saying much. All I know is what the official statement said.”
Josh nodded. “And what about Celestia and Luna? What are they like?” he asked, trying to make it sound as casual as the other questions. Ben perked up as well, probably sharing the same thought as Josh: The Princesses’ attitudes often decided whether timelines were ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I know I address them without title, but that is because I, too, am actually a Princess. Princess Twilight Sparkle, at your service,” Twilight finally introduced herself.
Josh made a mock bow, barely dipping down past his shoulder height, and Ben performed a more sincere one. “Pleasure to meet you, your Majesty,” they formally returned in unison, before grinning. Twilight laughed appreciatively, and dismissed them with a wave of her hoof.
“That said… I don’t mind if you call me ‘Twilight.’ Anyway, Princess Celestia is very warm and kind to everybody around her.”
Josh picked up on the rare use of ‘everybody’ – possibly an attempt to include other species? That might mean this version of Celestia wasn’t xenophobic. Good.
“Luna, on the other hoof, is more… serious. Well, maybe that’s not the right word… Intense? Cold? No, too negative…” Twilight trailed off, musing.
“Cool?” Josh supplied.
Twilight slowly nodded. “You know… that sounds about right! She’s cooler than Celestia. Not to say that Princess Celestia isn’t cool in the popular sense, but…” she trailed off as she saw Josh rolling his eyes.
“I got that part, thanks,” he replied, and Twilight chuckled in embarrassment.
“Sorry… I keep forgetting I’m not her student anymore.”
They arrived at Twilight’s castle, and Josh examined the bluish crystal with some interest. Post season-four timeline, then , he mused, staring at the castle some more as Twilight knocked on the huge doors.
“Starlight? Are you there?” Twilight called out, knocking.
Scratch that, post-season five, he thought.
“Coming, Twilight!” the mare answered, just outside the door. Josh was pleased to note that the door was his height, and it was pulled open by a bluish-purple magic as Starlight glanced around the door. “Did the meeting go well?” she asked, then stopped as her eyes traveled slowly upward before alighting on their two faces. “Wha…” she trailed off.
“Starlight, this is Josh and Ben," Twilight introduced. "Um… so they appear to have teleported into the Everfree from another world, so we're going to get them cleaned up and then work on getting them home,” Twilight explained.
Starlight cocked her head to the side. “The Everfree? No wonder you’re in such bad shape,” she noted to herself. Then, she brightened. “Well, you two must be friendly if Twilight’s allowed you to come to the castle. Come on in, I’ll show you around.”
Ben nervously glanced at Twilight at that last comment, who looked away sheepishly.
“She and I have some… history,” Twilight whispered to him. Josh bumped Ben on the shoulder, giving him a slight nod - Everything's okay, this is normal . Ben immediately relaxed, and allowed himself to be led into the castle.
Starlight led the two of them up to a bathroom, where Josh and Ben found they could just barely fit in the cramped quarters. The showers were small, clearly designed for ponies, and the shower head barely came up to Josh's chest. “You can take off your clothes, I’ll have them… burned,” Starlight motioned towards Josh’s shirt and pajama pants, and Ben’s shorts and t-shirt.
“Uh…” Josh trailed off, wondering how best to phrase this.
“Wait!” Twilight’s voice could be heard outside the room, and she trotted in. “Humans aren’t comfortable being seen nude, and they have to bathe separately,” she explained to Starlight, who looked over at them strangely. “Just leave your clothes outside the door, and there’s another shower right over here,” Twilight offered to Josh, who smiled and nodded in relief.
“Thank you, that’s much better.” The two ponies led him to a new shower, and stepped outside the room, where he quickly changed, pushed his clothes outside, and stepped into the shower.
It was a bit hard to move around, but Josh had never been happier to feel warm water on his skin. He hadn’t had a bath in a full day now, and had been trekking through a forest on top of that. The shower wasn’t very hot, but Josh didn’t care in the slightest at the moment – his only concern was that of making himself clean. He noticed a few bottles of hair products left in the shower, and wondered if he should make use of them. After some debate, he elected to use very small amounts, and set about using the body wash just to make sure he smelled as nice as possible – if he recalled, ponies had a stronger fixation on the sense of smell than humans in most literature. The town had smelled like most other towns did to Josh, if a bit fresher and nicer, so he didn’t have to worry about some of the show theories that Ponyville actually smelled like horses. If anything, it just smelled like fresh air and a bit of wet grass. Twilight and the other ponies hadn’t smelled like much of anything, as far as his nose could tell. Then again, years of exposure to harsh fuming acids hadn't exactly left his nose in the best of shape. Josh made a mental note to ask Ben what he thought things smelled like. He scrubbed halfheartedly at the chemical burns on his leg, but they still didn’t seem to do much of anything beyond turning slightly redder.
Finally, he considered himself clean, and set about drying himself off with the tiny towel provided. Wrapping it around his waist, he peeked outside. “Hello?” he called out, and there was a shuffle of hoofsteps as Starlight came trotting around.
“Wow, you take really long showers – what in Celestia’s name is that ?” she half-shouted, pointing at his towel.
Josh thought she meant something very embarrassing until he looked down, realizing that one of the burn spots on his lower thigh was uncovered by the towel. “Oh, that? That’s just a chemical burn, don’t worry about it,” he dismissed.
“From what ? I haven’t seen a burn that bad since… ever!” Starlight dramatically announced, turning around and trotting off. “I am getting you some medical attention for that right now. Come along, mister Josh!” she announced, looking back at him.
Josh shrugged, and followed her, hoping his towel was low enough to conceal himself appropriately. Along the way, he caught Starlight smiling happily – he supposed she was trying to show how good a friend she was. Josh had a sinking feeling that this was about to go ‘hilariously’ wrong.
To his surprise, they had a medical kit on hand… or on hoof. They stopped in a dining hall, empty except for the pair of them, and Starlight had him sit on a chair. “Now hold still so I can treat you,” Starlight instructed.
“I… I think I’ll just apply it myself,” Josh answered, attempting to grab the jar labeled ‘Burn Ointment’ from her magical grasp, but Starlight moved it away stubbornly.
“Is this about that ‘nudity’ thing? Honestly, I don’t get that – what are you attempting to hide? We all know what’s under there,” Starlight snorted.
Josh glared at her. “Are you going to respect my cultural values, or are you going to stand there and insult me?”
Starlight immediately stopped rolling her eyes and looked apologetic, ears splaying back. “Um… right… sorry. I’ll be over here.”
She exited the room, and Josh sighed in relief as he set about to applying… whatever this was. There was no ingredients list on the side of the jar, just the label. He really hoped it wasn’t some fake product… or something he might have a reaction to. No telling what Equestrian medicine might do to his alien body.
He finished rubbing the white cream into his skin, and replaced the towel over it, uncomfortable at the residual stickiness of his leg and the towel. “You can come back in now,” he called to the door where Starlight had gone through, and she immediately reappeared.
“Sorry about earlier, I should probably respect your values more. I... I just wanted to show everypony that I could make friends just as well as they could,” she admitted, ears still splayed back.
“Hey, it’s alright. No harm, no foul. And I’m sorry for being harsh with you. It’s just… it’s been a thing for humans for two thousand years, at least. That kind of thing doesn’t just go away overnight, you know?” he explained.
Starlight nodded glumly. “Yeah… makes me remember how hard this whole ‘friendship’ thing has been. Some days, I just want to… uh… never mind.”
Josh wisely elected to remain silent, and Starlight visibly cast around for a change of topic, the two of them sitting awkwardly in the empty dining hall.
“Uh… so, you’re taking being on an alien planet rather well,” she noted after a moment.
Josh shrugged. “It still feels kind of… unreal, you know? Like I’m… reading a book, and not really here.” He didn't want to mention that that was almost the literal interpretation of what was going on, but the thought was there nonetheless.
Starlight nodded in thought. “I get that. Twilight’s gotten lost in books before, sometimes I have to snap her out of it. You really didn't do anything that might have brought you here? No magic experiments, no futuristic teleporter that went awry, nothing?” she queried, cocking her head to the side in disbelief. Another insidious thought about the typical entry point of humans in Equestria popped into Josh's head, and he stifled a grin.
Josh chuckled, and shook his head. “Not that I recall... and Ben was nowhere near me, so it's unlikely that something on our planet called us here... Hey, I got a question for you," he remembered. Starlight nodded expectantly. “I ran into a pair of… well, they called themselves ‘changelings,’ in an alleyway. What’s up with them?”
Starlight appeared taken by surprise. “They’re… well, their race did some pretty terrible stuff under their queen, and some changelings are apparently trying to integrate into normal pony society. But nopony wants to give them a job or a home, so… they live in that alleyway. Twilight’s been trying to get them fair treatment, but it’s slow going.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t she employ them, as well as give them lodging? It’d would make the point pretty well, after all.”
Starlight waved a hoof in a so-so motion. “She tried, they refused. Something about serving under royalty didn’t sit right with them anymore, or something. One of them’s cool with working for us, though – I think her name was ‘Coxa’? She works a lot harder than the others. She doesn’t look so well, either, so we were going to force her to take a break tomorrow.” After some deliberation, the lavender-pink mare deposited a fresh shirt and pair of shorts onto the table. “Anyway, Rarity just finished making these. She’s wanted to make clothing for humans ever since Twilight told her about the mirror, and decided to make them according to the theme of this week’s holiday.”
Josh looked at her strangely. “This week ’s holiday? It’s a week long?”
Starlight nodded. “Hey, don’t look at me, ask the Princesses,” she shrugged.
Josh smiled. “Fair enough. Mind stepping out again while I change?” he asked, and Starlight politely nodded.
“Of course,” she answered, stepping out the door again.
Josh discovered that the clothes were a black shirt and dark bluish-green shorts, with what appeared to be Miracle Matter’s Cutie Mark from Luna’s bedroom on the front of the shirt and on either side of the shorts, where his ‘flanks’ might be if he were a pony. It was a swirling, dark green vortex, reminding him perhaps of the ‘Mind’ symbol from Homestuck, or the traditional symbol for ‘karma’, with what appeared to be a black hole in the center.
“Wow, these are really nice,” he complimented, stepping out into the corridor where Starlight was waiting and twisting around to examine his new clothes.
“Rarity is a great seamstress. She’s running two stores, one here and one in Canterlot, and she still found ten minutes to sew these together. I don’t know how she manages,” Starlight spoke as they made their way to what Josh presumed was the front of the castle.
True enough, they entered the throne room, and Josh looked over at the Cutie Map. It was recessed into the floor, the orange crystalline substance only slightly translucent. Twilight, Ben and Spike were waiting, and Twilight smiled as soon as she saw Josh. Ben was dressed exactly opposite to Josh, wearing a white shirt and dark red shorts with a few gears in the shape of a skull on his shirt and pants – Clockwork’s Cutie Mark, Josh presumed.
“How are you feeling?” she inquired, and Josh smiled back.
“A lot better… and a lot cleaner,” he joked, and the ponies and Spike laughed appreciatively.
“Anyway, I’ve been thinking, and it sounds like we should talk to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna if we stand a chance of getting home. Where can we find them, and how soon can we get there?” Ben asked, surprising Josh – maybe Twilight had gotten him to open up a little?
“The last train to Canterlot leaves in twenty minutes, so if you hurry you can make it by morning,” Starlight informed him.
Josh immediately headed for the door. “Thanks, and thanks for the hospitality!” he finished, stepping outside, Ben hurriedly following.
“Wait!” Twilight called out, flying forward before moving into step beside them. “You didn’t think we were just going to leave you alone , did you? You still need to buy tickets for the train,” she reminded them.
Josh adopted a sheepish grin. “Oh, right. Money. Hoo boy…” he trailed off as he tried to think of what he might do.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it. Not every night I get to speak with a human that isn’t from that world,” Twilight offhandedly remarked.
Josh was about to laugh in relief, but something about her comment caught him. “Wait… what do you mean, not from that world?” he asked carefully. How had she known that…?
Twilight immediately stopped short, a guilty frown on her face. “I – that is to say, um – I may have… analyzed your magical signatures… while you were in the shower,” she shamefacedly admitted.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “And… what did you see?” he inquired, when she fell silent.
“They were… well, they weren’t there . Nothing whatsoever… it was like looking at… a rock.”
Josh smirked. “Well, I’ve got all the facial expression of one, so that’s accurate.” Taken by surprise, Twilight giggled. “Anyway, if that’s it, I can live with that. It’s an important clue about getting home, after all.”
Twilight happily nodded, though Ben still looked apprehensive. “Thank you for understanding.” With that, they quickened their pace, intent on reaching the train station in time.
Ponies all around were beginning to set up for the festival, and the sounds of construction permeated the air as stalls and stages were set up across town.
“Wow, no time to waste, huh?” Josh quipped as they ran past a small army of fillies and colts who were building something of their own.
“This town’s great, everypony works together for every holiday,” Twilight answered breathlessly. “It’s a really tightly-knit community, because the town's so small that everypony knows each other!”
Josh took this in with a grunt, feeling lightheaded as he tried to keep pace with the rest. He’d never been a runner – swimming had always been his thing. Ben, too, looked out of breath, though with how thin he was Josh wasn’t surprised.
To Josh’s relief, it wasn’t nearly as much of a run as he expected – it took them just over two minutes to cross town. The train station was on the western border of Ponyville, and he could see a single train, sitting there without any passengers. Perhaps nopony felt like going to Canterlot overnight? He would have mused some more, if Twilight hadn’t pulled him and Ben over to the empty ticket line.
“Excuse me?” she called politely through the window. Inside, a stallion jerked awake, looking around in alarm.
“Who – wha – oh, Princess Twilight!” he sighed in relief, slumping back into his seat.
Twilight rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Wake up, Ticket Ride. I’ve got business for you.” Josh remained silent.
“Who’re these, some pets of yours?” Ticket Ride questioned.
Twilight immediately turned red, visible even in the darkness. “Wha – no! No, these are Josh and Ben, two friends of mine and sapient species . They need passage to Canterlot.”
Ticket Ride widened his eyes. “Oh – Celestia, I’m so sorry! I, um…” he stammered, looking up at Ben and probably realizing just how much taller the human was compared to him.
Ben chuckled. “No offense taken… but… I’m wearing clothes . Wasn’t that a bit of a tip-off?” he teased.
Ticket Ride chuckled back, rubbing a hoof to the back of his head in embarrassment as he ripped off a ticket from the reel and passed it under the window. Josh took it, wishing he had any pockets to carry it in before remembering he had a saddlepack strapped on.
“Yeah… I need some real sleep,” Ticket Ride admitted. “That’ll be six bits.”
Twilight grumbled a little as she fished out the required money. “It was only four yesterday…” Josh could hear.
He elected not to comment on Equestrian economics, instead accepting the ticket. “Thank you,” he politely thanked Ticket Ride, who had already fallen back asleep.
Twilight sighed at the sight, and levitated a blanket hidden off to the side onto Ticket Ride’s back. “Hopefully, they’ll put him on less of a busy shift next week,” she stated. That done, she gestured over towards the train. “Right through that door. I’d suggest getting some sleep on the train, as the conductor usually provides pillows and blankets for nighttime rides. Oh, and if the conductor or anypony else asks, just say Princess Twilight sent you. In fact…” Twilight rummaged around in her saddlepack for a moment, before pulling out a small cardboard box. From the box, she lifted out two wax seals embossed with her Cutie Mark and deposited them in each of their hands with her magic. “There. If anyone asks, show them that. That seal states you’re under my protection, and it won’t be easy to break or melt it.”
Josh’s eyes widened at the impressive forethought. “Wow, thanks. We’ll definitely keep these, then.”
Twilight nodded and smiled. “Anything for a friend. Goodbye, and good luck getting home!”
Properly dismissed, Ben and Josh stepped onto the train.
They found the pillows and blankets almost immediately, and Josh grinned at how adorably tiny they were. He stacked three of the pillows, and laid about five blankets over himself, while Ben contented himself with just one pillow and two blankets, his shoes sticking out one end and his neck out the other.
“Anypony aboard? If there is, show me your tickets,” a voice called out, and Josh immediately sat up, brushing the blankets off of himself as he pulled out his ticket.
“Ah, some passengers – whoa . You’re big fellas. You got tickets?” the conductor asked, dressed in a blue uniform with golden buttons. Josh nodded, pulling out and handing over the ticket, and Ben did the same. “Alrighty then… say, you’re not some kinda weird prank, are you? Only, Discord sent a bunch of animals over here with tickets once…” the conductor trailed off.
Josh chuckled tiredly. “Not to my knowledge, no.”
Say, there was a thought: He should’ve asked Discord what the chaos god might know about his popping into the Everfree. Ah well, maybe if Celestia and Luna couldn’t help him, he’d try Discord. Messing with chaos magic wasn’t exactly his most-preferred method of getting home – knowing Discord, he might return in the form of a carrot, or something equally silly.
The conductor nodded and left, and Josh rearranged the blankets over himself. Staring up at the ceiling of the train car, he slowly dozed off into a stupor – not quite asleep, but not quite awake either.
Meanwhile, far away, Princess Luna paced. She trotted to and fro, lost in thought as she normally was on this day. Her sister Celestia had already been and gone, reassuring platitudes falling on deaf ears as the solar diarch tried to placate her lunar sibling. Finally, Luna had sent her away.
“Today is a day of miracles, of good will and sisterhood!” Celestia had pleaded.
“There is only one miracle I desire, and he is not to be found,” Luna shot back, pointing an imperious hoof at the door.
Reluctantly, Celestia had made her way back to court, to continue the festivities, while Captain Nightwing of the Lunar Guard poked his head around the door.
“Is everything alright, Luna?”
Only the Captain would dare address her without her title, and only then because he and she had developed a very close friendship. Luna, for her part, merely sighed.
“A redundant question at best, Nightwing. You know why I am upset.”
Nightwing nodded forlornly. “They never found the body, and alicorns are resistant to all but the most powerful attacks… there is still hope.”
Luna shook her head. “After a thousand years? Nay, I think not. He is gone… thanks to that harlot .”
Nightwing knew better than to argue the point further. “As you will, my lady.”
He stepped just out of view beyond the door, leaving Luna alone with her thoughts once more.
It had been one thousand years since she lost him. One thousand years since she went insane, attempting to banish her only sister in a desperate plea to turn the tables and make herself the best Princess. Her memory was so fuzzy… but one face she remembered all too clearly. She’d never forget those eyes, slanted in anger as they were… and it seemed that ever since her return, her memories had done nothing but unrelentingly haunt her.
Princess Luna sighed. At this rate, she would make an indent in the floor with all her pacing. She slowly moved over to a book she had open – Interdimensional Summoning , by Star Swirl the Bearded. It contained all his notes on the rules for summoning demons and the like, as well as the beginning of his interdimensional exploits. This had been the book that had inspired her to become Nightmare Moon… and this had been the only book that might bring her Miracle back. She’d tried the summoning spell yesterday for both Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology, and nothing had happened – no tingle of magic, no appearance of anything in her room. Not even a demon to mock her.
She put the book down on the table, and moved over to the window. Looking outside, she saw something that would have immensely pleased her on any other night. Foals and ponies alike were laughing, playing through the moonlit streets, inventing games, hoping, dreaming, having fun in her night.
Luna went over to her bed, and wept bitterly.
Josh, meanwhile, continued tossing and turning in his stupor. The rolling of the train couldn’t quite lull him to sleep, no matter how hard he tried. Occasionally, there was a slight thump on the roof, almost as if somebody had dropped a rock on the roof of the train somehow. Or was it his imagination? Josh didn’t know, but he was too distracted by the thought of this ‘Miracle Matter’ to care. Had he landed in an Equestria of his own creation, then? But he’d never made up a story about Miracle Matter, or even gotten as far as a Cutie Mark or official design. Perhaps it was just coincidence…
Josh stifled a chuckle as he looked up at the moonlit train cabin. Coincidence, yeah right . That didn’t exist in this place. So, maybe he and Ben were supposed to embark on an epic quest to find this ‘Miracle Matter’ and his brother? That would seem to be the case, as he’d discovered clues suggesting such in the Castle of the Two Sisters and Ponyville. But where was the next clue? Josh was stumped – had he missed something while in Ponyville? Maybe he shouldn’t have stopped to talk to those changelings – he might have skipped some key part of whatever speech Mayor Mare had been giving. Well, the Princesses wrote the speech. They’d be able to give me the full version , he mused. Satisfied, he drifted off into a trance once more.
A short while later, he felt the train slowing, and sat up, concerned. It was pitch black outside the windows, so he didn’t think the train had arrived in Canterlot quite yet. He still felt very tired, and now his neck was sore from trying to rest on a train. By now, the train had stopped completely, and he could see the conductor making his way towards the pair of them, a lamp between his teeth. Josh noted by the lamplight that Ben was still asleep, and turned to the conductor expectantly.
“Sorry for the delay, but there’s been an… um… ‘incident,’ and we’ll have to stop for a while,” the conductor informed him.
“Okay… what incident?” Josh asked.
The conductor tugged at his fancy uniform. “I, uh… well, I spotted something alarming, and… I hit the emergency brakes. This caused the train to partially derail from the track somehow, so… I have to go move it back into place.”
Josh nodded. Others might have been annoyed by such a delay, or at the very least questioned its necessity, but Josh accepted it as a fact of life. This was normal for him – he was immune to road rage, annoying customers, and overbearing superiors alike, which unnerved most others. Ben, thankfully, understood his apathy in a way few others did, which was probably why Josh felt so protective of him. That, or maybe the “zombie video game character” jokes hadn’t stopped being funny yet.
He stepped out of the train to where the conductor had already set up a lamp, poking around for the issue. “Lessee’ here…” the earth pony muttered, peeking around each wheel.
“What’s that?” Josh pointed out, noticing a small scrap of what appeared to be dark fabric tied up in the wheel.
“That… Oh no ,” the conductor moaned. “They’re not supposed to be here !”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “What’s not supposed to be here?” he demanded – if they were in danger, he wanted to know from what.
“Changelings ,” the conductor whispered. “Love-sucking monsters. We heard rumors that they were in the caves, but the Guard never found any…”
Josh rolled his eyes. Changelings again? “I’ll go see if they’re blocking the way,” he asserted, grabbing the lamp. “Stay here, and keep Ben safe.”
The pony looked like he was about to argue, but then nodded reluctantly.
“Don’t go too far!” the conductor warned.
Josh smirked. He was used to wandering far.
A few minutes later, he was feeling pretty good about himself. He was on an adventure! The train tracks made the tunnel easy to move through, and the lamp reflected brightly off the cave walls, stalactites and indents in the rock casting soft shadows over the walls as he passed by. Dripping noises were all around him, and occasionally his shoe scuffed against a loose stone, sending it skittering into the darkness. Josh was enthralled by how cool it was that he was in Equestria, specifically in the tunnels of the Canterlot mountain. What might he encounter? Gems? Monsters? More stalactites? The possibilities were truly endless. The tunnel itself looked beautiful, almost picturesque and untouched enough to pass for a protected natural habitat back home. Except Josh really could touch the stalactites now, and not get arrested or something. He did just that, reaching down to brush a stalagmite, and was slightly surprised at just how wet it was. Josh stifled a guilty chuckle at the thrill of doing something so illegal, and promptly ventured onward.
As he traveled along the pitch-black tunnel, Josh began to feel less adventurous and more spooked by the silence and shadows. More than once, he caught himself whirling around to stare at the cavern wall, looking for an enemy that wasn’t there. “I’m getting too tired for this,” he muttered after the fifth such time. Finally, he decided to head back – no obstacles had presented themselves, nor had any changelings revealed themselves.
He was halfway back when a flash of green flickered up ahead. Sleep-deprived as he was, it took Josh a moment to process the threat, but when he did, he held the lamp out suspiciously, trying to quell his fears.
“Hello?” he called out.
Nothing.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I just… look, there’s a train coming through, you might want to get out of the way…” Josh explained to the dripping cave, finding it hard to string his thoughts together.
Once again, nothing but silence greeted him.
“O… kay… I’m just going to assume you’ve been properly warned, uh… bye…” he mumbled, shuffling forward again.
As he shuffled past, he failed to notice that there was a new stalagmite, completely dry despite everything around it being damp.
As he walked back along the length of the tunnel, Josh slowly became aware of something being different . He couldn’t tell if it was just from viewing things from the opposite direction, or his own addled mind, but things were suddenly looking a lot less ‘beautiful’ and a lot more ‘sinister.’
It took him five solid minutes of walking before he realized what had happened: It was his lamp . It was running out of fuel, and giving off less light. Josh quickened his pace, his leg bumping against the lamp accidentally as he began to take longer strides forward. His breath caught in his throat as the candle lamp immediately snuffed out, plunging the entire tunnel into darkness and causing him to jerk backward, the lamp slipping out of his grasp and falling onto the floor. Josh broke out in a cold sweat – he couldn’t see .
“Oh, no, no, no… ” he whispered, feeling around to try and find the lamp and relight it. But there was nothing there – simply an empty patch of floor.
After spending a few minutes trying to find the lamp, Josh became aware that he had been walking for far too long – he needed to continue back to the train, as fast as he could. No telling what might attack him now that the light no longer safeguarded his presence. He began edging across the tunnel wall, stepping in puddles left and right as he tried to avoid tripping over the many stalagmites in his way. His heart pounded as he began imagining shapeless horrors watching him, waiting for the moment when he would fall so they could descend upon his helpless, blind form.
A sharp flare of light occurred to his right, a hiss sounding through the tunnel wall. Josh looked over in shock, and found what should have been impossible: The lamp, sitting on a relatively dry patch of wall as though it had been there the whole time. The candle inside had been relit somehow, and in the split second that Josh’s eyes took to adjust to the sudden light, he could have sworn he saw something escaping into the shadows. He hesitantly took a step toward the lamp, then another, then snatched it up before anything could steal it away from him again. That done, he looked awkwardly around at the room.
“…Thank you,” he whispered. Unsure of what else to say, he made his way back towards the train, careful not to disturb his lamp again.
Unbeknownst to the slowly retreating human, a pair of eyes had been watching him from the shadows. For a moment, their forest-green gaze lingered on him, a hint of some unspecified want flickering. Then, they turned away, heading back into the shadows. Had Josh been listening closely, he might have caught the drip of a few drops of liquid hitting the floor. Had he listened more closely still, he might have been able to discern that these sounded quite different than the usual dripping noises of cave water and runoff.
Josh returned to find the conductor anxiously waiting for him, Ben still sound asleep.
“I didn’t find anything,” he shrugged, giving the lamp back to the stallion.
“Right… you… you are you, right?” the conductor falteringly asked, sounding terrified.
“Still not one of Discord’s pranks, if that helps,” Josh joked, cracking a tired smile as he stepped back onto the train.
The conductor relaxed at the familiar reference, and followed him on board before heading back towards the front of the train. “Okay, well… I got everything fixed, so we should be ready to start back up again. Thanks for the help, mister!”
Josh nodded, already going back to sleep. Well, that was a waste of time , he thought in relief as he drifted off again.
Oh well… at least it’ll make a cool story for Ben.
What felt like an eternity later, he felt the conductor cautiously poking him with what felt like a stick.
“Up and at ‘em, uh… you , we’ve arrived,” the stallion announced.
Josh shifted into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes. “Thanks… for the ride…” he sleepily answered, lumbering towards the exit, where Ben was waiting and looking significantly more awake.
“You’re welcome, and… good luck,” the stallion muttered. Ignoring this, Josh stepped out into Canterlot.
The first impression he got was oh sweet lord why is it so bright out . It had transitioned from a moonlit, gorgeous night to a harshly lit day, and it took Josh a few moments of stumbling around blind before he remembered that Celestia raised the sun to its highest position every morning, and left it there for the full day. Finally, his eyes re-adjusted to the light – how did ponies just deal with that? – and surveyed his surroundings. Ben, watching him slowly re-adjust, smirked as Josh smacked into a wall.
“Come on, we gotta get you looking less dead on your feet. Let’s go have breakfast,” Ben ordered, Josh dazedly complying.
The Canterlot train station was noticeably larger and more modern than the shack Ponyville’s station operated out of. There was a booth there, with nopony stationed at it – a rather presumptuous oversight, Josh thought. The two of them ate the last of their sandwiches, making sure to leave no crumbs on the well-polished floor of the train station, and made their way for the very small, pony-sized door.
“Why is this so tiny? Surely there are non-pony passengers to Canterlot,” Josh grumbled.
“Canterlot’s snooty as all get-out, remember? Besides, there might be another train just for non-ponies, or something,” Ben pondered.
“Racists,” Josh muttered angrily, finally making it through the door and into the open air of Canterlot.
Stepping out into Canterlot proper, Josh immediately noticed the palace off to his left. It was a grand and imposing structure, exactly how it looked in the show – towering pillars of marble decked with gold and silver Arabian-esque roofing. Purple flags flew from every spire, and only a few ponies were on the streets. Josh spied several posters pertaining to the new holiday, mostly having to do with custom celebratory events that would be occurring at various times over the course of the week. It still felt so strange that he’d arrived amidst an event like this that he’d never heard of. Sure, it was a brand new holiday, but he’d been thrown off by it nonetheless. A unicorn down the street spotted the pair of them, and immediately turned up her nose.
“They’ll let anything into Canterlot these days,” Josh heard her mutter as she wandered off.
Ben chuckled, apparently amused by her prejudice, though Josh had a feeling it was going to get a whole lot less funny.
“So, you think we have something to do with these two princes? Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology?” Ben questioned after a moment of walking.
“Maybe we’re supposed to go on a quest to find them? I dunno,” Josh answered tiredly, still waking up.
“A quest? You mean a magical magic quest full of magic?” Ben joked, and Josh chuckled.
“Yeah… let’s just hope it doesn’t become a tragic magical magic quest full of magic,” he added, and Ben laughed in turn.
“Any ideas on where we might find them?” he asked, getting the pair of them back on topic.
“I bet the Princesses would know where they last were," Josh supposed.
Canterlot, like Ponyville, was smaller than he had been expecting. The place was still impossibly opulent and lavish, but it seemed this world was, after all, proportioned for ponies. A light wind blew through the morning streets as Ben and Josh walked towards the Palace, anxiously mulling over what they might say to the Princesses. Depending on how formal the Princesses were, a social mistake could cost them their lives or freedom – and neither of them had been educated in matters of politics.
As they turned the corner onto a new street, they were surprised to find this one busier than the last. Foals were laughing and playing with small discs shaped like the gears of Clockwork’s Cutie Mark or the swirling vortex of Miracle Matter’s Cutie Mark, and adult unicorns were relaxing off to the sides and laughing as they watched their foals play. A hula hoop was in use by one foal, but Josh noticed that it was actually two hula hoops, bisecting the user by means of a magical wormhole as one hoop levitated atop the other, and he watched in fascination, reminded of a particular video game back on Earth. The foal, apparently, was having a great time despite the 6-inch gap in between his torso and his legs, so he wasn’t worried that they might end up without a pair of hind legs. Finally, a pair of foals were sitting in front of a stand advertising balloons, blowing them up and letting them loose with wild abandon. He smiled at the sight, and walked down the street. To his surprise, ponies mostly ignored them, taking one look at their clothes and probably assuming they were partaking in the festival as well. Some even cheerfully greeted them, and he nodded back while Ben returned the greeting, pleasantly surprised. Wasn’t Canterlot supposed to be full of fancy, pompous nobles? Where were they?
They passed by the library on the way to the palace, and noticed a statue of what appeared to be Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology just outside. Examining it, Josh was nonplussed to find that Miracle Matter looked like a regular foal, even if he was an alicorn. He thought there was some sort of chip on the marble statue’s hind left leg, but it turned out to be a darker gray in the flawless white, looking as though it had been scratched away to a specific shape. There was a triumphant, almost arrogant smirk on the foal’s face as he posed, which Josh regarded with mild disgust. This was the character he’d created? Clockwork looked much more modest, happily smiling down at the passersby with an expression that screamed “innocent cinnamon roll, please hug and give cookies at the first opportunity.” Ben and Josh stared at the statue for a moment longer, shrugged in unison, and continued on their way.
As they strolled down the sunlit street, the smell of baked goods and fragrances permeating the air, Josh noticed a flyer stuck to a nearby street post. He walked over to examine it, Ben following after a moment.
“Oh, here are the racists. I was wondering when they would show up,” Josh remarked.
The poster depicted Celestia, looking down wisely and benevolently on a mass of ponies as Luna, Cadance and Twilight glared off to the side, extremely disgruntled about something. Prince Blueblood was visible under Celestia, drawn in a flattering light Josh was sure he didn’t possess in person.
“Citizens of Canterlot, unite together and demand an END to the ceaseless expansion of royalty,” Ben read aloud. “They’re trying to get rid of the other Princesses?”
Josh hummed in thought. “It does make a strange amount of sense,” he posited. “With all the recent additions to the list of alicorns, the status quo for the past century must be in serious danger. After all, they have to accommodate for Luna’s side of things now, not to mention the newly resurrected Crystal Empire and recently-created Castle of Friendship.”
Ben sighed angrily. “But why get rid of them? They haven’t done anything to anyone!”
Josh shrugged. “There might be some trade interests at stake, I’m not sure. Politics was never my strong suit. Still… it shouldn’t be a problem for us, so who cares?”
He resumed walking down the street, Ben reluctantly following after a moment. “I thought this place was cool ,” Josh heard Ben muttering, and felt guilty about how often he’d told Ben otherwise earlier.
Coming upon the town square just in front of the palace, Ben was amused to see a square-wide square dance taking place. But before they could move past it, a nearby pony snagged him with a hoof and pulled him in, another grabbing Josh shortly afterward.
“Whoa!” Josh called out, surprised as he quickly learned the dance and began dancing along.
Every time he’d seem to escape the action, another stallion or mare pulled him in to continue. At first he was reluctant – he hadn’t danced since middle school. But eventually he warmed up to it, and soon he was chuckling as he swirled around the square, leaping and hopping in time with the band in the center. Finally, after spinning a mare around so many times she got dizzy and fell, he’d made it to the other side of the square. Apologizing to the nearby dance partners, he ducked out and quickly made his way out of the town square, an irresistible grin still present on his dazed face as he waited for Ben to finish.
Ben got out a few moments later, a dizzy grin of his own on his face as he stumbled over to Josh.
“So that happened,” Ben quipped, his afro still shaking with every bouncy step.
Josh laughed. “Next we’ll be doing an impromptu musical,” he joked.
Ben clapped a hand over his mouth. “Shush! They might hear you,” he pretended to whisper.
Josh pushed his hand off and laughed, the two of them shoving each other as they made their way up the palace steps.
A few scant minutes later, they were finally in front of the palace doors. But what would they say? Josh took a deep breath, and steeled himself, raising his hand to knock at the front door.
“Halt!” a stern voice called out, and he whipped around to find himself face-to… well, in front of a pair of Royal Day Guards. “Princess Celestia will not be receiving visitors for another ten minutes due to a delay on Her Majesty’s part,” a guard informed the two of them.
“Oh, okay. Where do we wait?” Ben asked.
The guard shrugged. “Anywhere you please, so long as it isn’t inside.”
Five awkward minutes passed by, with Josh electing to park himself right there on the steps as the pair of Guards watched, Ben remaining standing out of politeness. Finally, one spoke again.
“What are you? I’ve never seen anything like you before.”
Josh shrugged. “Aliens from outer space.”
The guard chuckled. “No, really.”
Josh looked at him, a grin on his face, and the guard’s mouth fell open as Ben nodded.
“Wha – are you here to take over Equestria?” he demanded, readying his spear.
He was quickly shoved back by the other guard, who rolled his eyes. “Sorry, he’s a real sci-fi fanatic. You’re not… actually going to take over Equestria, are you?” the second guard asked.
Ben shook his head. “Nah. Just looking to get home. We, uh… we don’t know how we got here, so we’re kind of stranded.”
There was a moment of silence, and Josh heard a sniffling sound. He looked over, and to his surprise, the two Guards had watery eyes. “Uh… are you… okay?” he asked, staring at him in concern.
“You’re stranded on our planet… away from your home… that’s so sad …” the first Guard mumbled.
Josh remained silent, nonplussed by their strangely empathetic reactions, while Ben looked concerned.
“Um. It’s… okay? I’m sure we’ll get back soon,” Ben reassured.
The Guards made a show of drying their eyes. “Right… well… where did your spaceship crash?” the first Guard asked curiously.
Josh laughed. “We don’t have a spaceship. We just got teleported here, apparently. Into… uh… the ‘Everfree Forest.’”
Both Guards’ mouths fell open. “You survived the Everfree ?” the second Guard questioned.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? There was nothing there. Not even a ‘manticore.’ I think we got lucky, or something.”
Josh almost wanted to bring up the changelings, but he felt as though that would just be bragging.
He was about to say something else, but at that point the door opened, a new pair of Guards trotting out. “Princess Celestia is now receiving visitors,” the third Guard spoke up.
Josh got to his feet, Ben moving to stand beside him. “Nice talking with you two. See you later!” Ben called.
The two Guards gave them a friendly nod, and they headed into the throne room.
It was even more imposing than Josh remembered, and yet… smaller. The stained-glass murals were about one and a half times his height, he guessed, and there was a soft sound of rushing water from the throne itself, where small waterfalls constantly flowed out from the sides into clear blue pools, which sent the water… somewhere. Atop the plushy red velvet throne sat Princess Celestia, and their eyes met for a brief moment.
She was about Josh’s height, not counting her horn, and her hair really did undulate and weave as it did in the show – though, he could see individual strands. Her golden decorations gleamed in the sunlight, and Josh could tell just by the color that they were pure gold, or at least gold-plated. The deep purple jewels on her crown and peytral had been polished rigorously, and sparkled with an inner fire that shouldn’t have been possible for amethyst.
“Welcome to my castle, newcomers. I have not seen one of your kind before. What brings you here?” she questioned politely, getting up and daintily stepping off of her throne.
Josh could only stare, slack-jawed as she approached, and though he couldn’t turn his head, he was sure Ben was openmouthed as well.
Celestia sighed. “Every time,” she muttered, before her horn lit up yellow. A sphere of water detached itself from one of the pools beside her throne, zooming forward before splashing them in the face.
“Wha – hey!” Ben cried, startled out of his trance, and Princess Celestia giggled while Josh merely flinched back.
“Sorry, but I have to put up with this every time someone from another country meets me. I’ve found that to be a most effective solution.” She lit her horn again, and the water on their faces and shirts simply evaporated, leaving them as dry as when they had walked in.
Josh stared at her, shocked. “Uh… my name’s Josh, I’m a human, and I’m… uh… not from this world. That’s Ben, and, uh, same,” he stammered, completely thrown off by her informal demeanor.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Not of this world? Do tell,” she commanded.
“We got teleported into the Everfree Forest yesterday, I have no idea how or why, and… we want to get home,” Ben mumbled, finally speaking up.
Celestia immediately adopted a sympathetic expression. “Oh dear… I’m sure I can help.” She paused a moment, staring at his shirt. “Did you say… you were teleported here… yesterday?” she asked.
Josh nodded uncertainly.
She stared at his shirt some more, eyes slowly widening. “And you have no idea who or what may have caused this…?” she asked once more.
Josh nodded again, wondering where she was going with this.
“...Do you know what time of day it was when you first appeared?” she wondered.
Ben shook his head. “Maybe close to noon? It was quite a few hours before night fell… or at least, it felt like it.”
Celestia nodded to herself. “…Excuse me a moment,” she politely replied, teleporting away in a flash of light. Josh rubbed his eyes, staring at the spot she had been standing in just a second prior and wondering what was happening.
A few moments later, Celestia teleported back in, Luna at her side.
“What do you mean, my-“ Luna trailed off, taking in the large humans in front of her.
Josh took in Luna’s appearance as well – she looked quite disheveled. Judging by the tear tracks on her eyes and her hastily applied makeup, she had not been moved by Celestia’s attempts to placate her with the festival.
“Um, hi? My name’s Josh, this is Ben,” he introduced awkwardly. Luna’s eyes narrowed, taking him in. She examined his face, staring straight into his gray-blue eyes, before traveling down. Next, she stared at his shirt, Josh noticing that she was looking at the Cutie Mark sewn onto it in particular. Finally, her eyes traveled downward to his shorts, and her breath caught in her throat as her eyes alighted on his left leg. Josh sighed, preparing to explain, but stopped short when he realized that the chemical burns from earlier were covered completely by the pant leg. So what was she looking at? He noticed his birthmark was peeking out from under the pant leg, and raised an eyebrow. Why was she concerned about it? To his surprise, she was now looking up at him nervously, eyes darting to and fro.
“Well, thou- you must be tired after your journey! And hungry! Er, let us send for a meal!” Luna hastily announced, backing away before galloping towards a nearby set of doors, slamming them behind her with her magic. Josh watched her go, only one thought making his way through his confused mind.
“What?”
Ben immediately started laughing at his reaction, and Princess Celestia watched her go as well, surprised and slightly amused.
“There is no cause for alarm, she has merely had quite a shock. She will be fine,” the solar diarch informed him. “Would you like to join us for breakfast? I have already eaten, but you must be famished.”
Josh nodded, his stomach rumbling at the thought of a decent meal. Sandwiches had been nice, but he’d remembered that he’d had little sleep and a lot of walking.
“Then follow me,” Celestia commanded, trotting towards the door Luna had vanished through and opening it gently with her yellow magic.
Josh followed her nervously, looking all around at the corridor as Ben slowly tagged along behind him. There were many portraits of Celestia and Luna, as well as a few marble busts and suits of armor placed at varying intervals.
“So… why was Princess Luna so shocked to see me?” he asked.
“In due time,” Celestia answered from in front of him, and paused a moment before looking back. “Do you… recognize her? You knew Luna’s name…”
Josh quickly realized he’d made a terrible error. “Well, I assumed that was Princess Luna, you being Celestia and you two looking similar and all, and Princess Twilight told us about you two… but, uh, no, we haven’t met to my knowledge,” he hastily covered. Celestia raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
They entered a vast dining hall, mostly empty except for a few nobles at the other end. Luna was conversing animatedly with the head chef, who seemed frustrated for some reason. Luna’s expression brightened when she spotted Josh, however, and she rushed over.
“We – I forgot to ask. What dost – do you eat?”
Josh pondered this for a moment. “I can’t eat hay… or flowers… or grass. Apart from that, I can stomach most vegetables and fruit, grains such as wheat, legumes, tubers, sweets, dairy, and…” he trailed off.
“And?” Luna prompted after a moment, the head chef listening in.
“…Meat,” Josh reluctantly finished.
“Very well… does a plate of ‘Prench toast’ sound good to you? It is a slice of bread, which is made from wheat, dipped in eggs and sugar and heated,” Luna explained.
Josh nodded. “I’ve got something pretty similar back home. Seems like a lot of our culture is shared, strangely enough. And… uh… hmm. I thought my eating meat would get more of a reaction out of you herbivores.”
Celestia chuckled. “We’ve had to deal with plenty of foreign ambassadors before, and have little issue with magically conjuring meat of any type for them to consume. Relax, we will not judge your dietary needs,” she soothed.
Josh chuckled in embarrassment. “Thanks…” he replied. The head chef trotted off to cook his food, Celestia following him to presumably discuss their dietary needs further.
Luna gestured to a seat beside her at the head of the table, evidently intending that Josh take it.
“Oh… thank you,” he stammered, surprised that he was allowed to sit next to her.
Luna, for her part, simply nodded, a nervous smile on her face. “So… um…” Luna trailed off, clopping her hooves together a few times nervously. She looked awkwardly around. “So… do you… like… books?” she asked, with the air of one desperately trying to find something to talk about.
Josh smiled nervously. “Yeah…? Yeah. Books are great. I… I read a lot of fantasy…” he trailed off.
Luna laughed awkwardly. “That is… a very nice genre to read…” she faltered, looking anywhere but his face. Josh neglected to add that he was currently inside a fantasy tale, and instead opted to remain silent.
The silence stretched on, until Ben slammed his fist down on the table, causing the two to jump. “Okay, sick of this. Spill it: What do you know about us?” he demanded.
Luna became more nervous still, shaking in her seat as she attempted to form words, and Ben looked at Josh in concern.
Josh sighed. “Okay… seeing as you can’t bring yourself to say it, I guess I’ll have to take a guess.” At this, Luna froze entirely, but Josh ignored her body language as he prepared to say what he’d been hypothesizing ever since they landed in the Everfree.
“We’re destined to find your and Celestia’s sons, and bring them back on some sort of quest or something.”
Luna stared at him, her wide-eyed expression unreadable. Then, a small smile slowly broke out on her muzzle. A half-giggle escaped her lips, and that was the final straw: Luna burst out laughing, falling out of her chair as she gave in her mirth. After a full minute of this most unprincesslike behavior, she finally picked herself up and reseated herself.
“I do apologize, it’s just… I was not expecting that ,” Luna explained, still smiling.
Josh looked at Ben in consternation – he’d been so sure of that guess. Drat .
“Anyway… er… I must go and confide in my sister. Do not fear, you are not in any sort of trouble,” Luna hastily added, once again backing out of the room. Once they were alone in the massive dining hall, Ben looked at Josh incredulously.
“Seriously? ”
Josh looked away in embarrassment. “What? I thought it was a reasonable guess!”
Ben snorted. “Great. Now she thinks we’re arrogant wannabe heroes. Nice going, Josh .”
Josh crossed his arms. “Well, what do you think we’re supposed to do here?! There were clues everywhere ! We discovered those cribs in the old castle, there was this whole festival about these two, we even got matching outfits! ” Josh pointed out, holding out his shirt for emphasis.
“I think we’re destined to get home . Maybe, maybe we’ll become diplomatic ambassadors to our planet. That’s assuming we even decide to open up relations between our two worlds,” Ben angrily retorted.
Josh sighed. “I… I was so sure that there was some grander mystery here,” he glumly admitted. “Some puzzle that I could solve. Guess not, huh?”
Ben sighed as well, putting his fists to his chin as he too contemplated their adventure so far. “Well… Luna was pretty shocked to see you. And I think Celestia’s hiding something as well. Remember, she asked if you and Luna had met before?”
Josh nodded. “I think that was because I knew her name. Though… I feel like I had a pretty good excuse? I dunno. We’ll see.”
At that moment, Celestia and Luna returned to the dining hall, taking their seats at the head of the table.
“Hello again,” Celestia greeted. “I have been speaking with Luna, and we have agreed that we shall open a portal home for you if you so wish it. But first… may we speak with you? This may interrupt your meal.”
Josh nodded, surprised that they were going along so readily. “Sure, I can wait,” he dismissed.
Ben, however, had his doubts. “Can we stay for the meal? Those sandwiches just didn’t do it for me,” he asked.
“Of course,” Celestia answered, ringing a bell next to her plate.
Instantly, servants appeared with platters of food at the ready, and Josh’s mouth watered as one delivered a steaming-hot plate of French toast, a glass of syrup and milk to his plate. Ben received much the same, which he promptly dug into, showing a surprising lack of manners as he scarfed down his food. Celestia looked at him with a hint of worry, and Josh laughed as he noticed her expression.
“He’s normally much better with his table manners than I am, he’s just very hungry. We haven’t had a lot to eat for a few days.”
At this, the two alicorns immediately adopted sympathetic expressions, murmuring reassurances to him as they accepted this argument. Josh began to pick at his own food, unable to eat as fast as he normally would as he appreciated just how expensive his food looked. It was the kind of French toast that was best served in a five-star restaurant, costing maybe a hundred dollars just for the bread. The plate, he noticed, was gold filigree, and the silverware was most likely actual silver. All in all, this meal was probably worth more than he was.
Ben finished his meal, sitting back with a satisfied air, and turned to the Princesses.
“Thanks… like Josh said, we’ve been starving for a while now.”
Luna nodded. “Think nothing of it, we are glad to help,” she dismissed.
They had finished their own meals while Josh had been slowly picking at his, and he hurriedly finished off the rest of his plate to avoid another awkward silence. That done, Luna rang a bell of her own, and the servants immediately reappeared to whisk away the plates, leaving as suddenly and silently as they had arrived.
“Wow. I don’t think service like that still exists on our planet,” Ben commented.
“Probably in some very fancy restaurants… still. That’s impressive,” Josh agreed.
Luna smiled. “The castle staff are quite proud of their efficiency. Half the time, I wonder if they are indeed ponies and not ghosts,” she joked.
Josh and Ben both chuckled appreciatively.
“That done, would you like to join us for a walk?” Celestia asked.
“…Sure,” Josh answered after a moment. Where would they be walking to?
They walked across the palace in silence, the Princesses occasionally opening doors that lead to short, curved marble bridges between buildings. Finally, they stopped at a single tower, embossed with Celestia’s and Luna’s Cutie Marks on the surface.
“This is our tower, where we live when we are not performing our duties,” Luna explained.
“Neat,” Josh commented disinterestedly.
Apparently somewhat miffed by his apathy, Luna silently ushered them in.
Luna’s new room was precisely as cluttered as her old room, books and half-finished experiments littering the tables.
“Sister, I’ve told you to clean your room for three years now ,” Celestia exasperatedly groaned.
Luna shook her head. “Nay! I have told you, tis’ a tactical decision. Nopony can sneak up on us without stepping on something, see?” she gestured at the piles of paper littering the room.
Ben looked like he was about to laugh, but Josh nodded appreciatively. “You know what? I do the same thing in my room,” he commented, Luna looking at Celestia triumphantly.
Ben turned to Josh. “Who’s going to sneak up on you ?” he asked.
Josh snorted in amusement. “I dunno. It was left over from when I was still afraid of the dark,” he explained.
Ben rolled his eyes. “That sounds like an excuse,” he pointed out, and Celestia returned Luna’s triumphant look, the latter adopting a petulant expression.
“Anyway, back on topic,” Josh reminded everyone, and Luna and Celestia stiffened before adorning matching guilty smiles on their faces.
“Right, right. Luna, if you would?” Celestia prompted.
Luna sighed, lighting her horn and lifting over a book. “Interdimensional Summoning, by Star Swirl the Bearded,” Josh read.
“So it was you that brought us here!” Ben realized.
Luna solemnly nodded. “Yes,” she began, “but-“
Josh cut across her. “So I was right, you do need us for something!”
Luna slapped a hoof to her forehead. "I was trying to- "
"Are we or are we going on a quest? Because if we are, I'd like to be prepared-" Josh began.
Luna stomped a hoof in exasperation. “I was attempting to summon our sons back!” she spoke imperiously over them, and Ben and Josh stepped back in shock.
“W-wait… I didn’t mean…” Luna added weakly, seeing their expressions. She turned to Celestia, lip quivering. “Oh, sister, I’ve messed up again …”
Celestia immediately hugged Luna with her wing. “It’s okay, Lulu. I’ll explain.” With that, she turned to the two humans, somewhat of a pleading look in her eye. “It seems that the spell worked after all – you two were summoned to the last place you’d been on this world: The Everfree Forest. You… you are our sons , Prince Miracle Matter and Prince Clockwork Chronology. You’ve returned to us…” she softly murmured, tears streaming from her eyes as she began walking towards them, a watery smile on her face.
Josh and Ben stepped back in unison, realizing that they were cornered in Luna’s room by an extremely emotional sun princess.
“W-wait! Hold up!” Josh half-shouted, afraid of the look in her eye.
Celestia stopped short, seemingly hurt. “What is the matter?” she asked, ears splaying back.
“This… this is just a lot to take in at once. Can me and Ben talk this over?” he asked.
Celestia nodded uncertainly.
“Alone? ” Josh prompted.
“Oh! O-of course! Come along, Luna, we shouldn’t disturb them,” Celestia ushered Luna out of her own room, leaving Josh and Ben to stand amongst the clutter of papers and apparatus.
Ben took a seat on the floor, holding his head in his hands. “Oh my god, oh my god, ohhhh my god…” he murmured, seemingly hyperventilating.
“Of all the outcomes I was expecting… this was not one of them,” Josh mused, wide-eyed himself.
Without warning, Ben collapsed on the floor, and Josh looked over in alarm – Ben had fainted . Immediately, his long-forgotten Scout training kicked in, and he piled a few books under Ben’s legs before tearing off the blanket from Luna’s bed and throwing it over his friend. “Oh, jeez,” Josh sighed, as Ben’s breathing slowly calmed down. “What have we gotten ourselves into?”
Ben woke up just a few minutes later, dazed and groggy, and Josh quickly prepared a glass of water for him.
“Drink,” he instructed, handing Ben the cup.
Ben obediently drank, spilling some on the blanket. “What… what happened?” he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes after he set the cup down.
“Celestia and Luna told us we were their children,” Josh reminded him, and Ben nodded.
“Right, right…” he agreed tiredly.
“Wait, what?! ”
Josh cracked a small smile at his friend’s antics. “Yeah… I dunno. They didn’t present much evidence, other than ‘we summoned our kids and you appeared, therefore you must be our kids.’ Dunno what they’re hoping to get out of it… we’re both, like, 20 years old. Kinda missed the mark for all of those childhood memories.”
Ben snorted. “Aren’t they thousands of years old? We’re probably still babies to them.”
Josh chuckled halfheartedly. “Still… what do you think? Should we leave, or… should we stay?” he asked.
Ben’s mirth immediately dissipated. “I… I don’t know. If we stayed, everyone we know on Earth would hate us. If we left… we’d have to live our lives knowing we could have been princes.”
Josh shrugged. “Being a prince is actually a lot of work. I’m not sure I feel like getting that involved.”
Ben slugged him on the shoulder. “Of course you wouldn’t, you’re too lazy ,” he accused.
“Guilty,” Josh grinned. “But… ah, hell. What are we supposed to do ?”
Ben groaned in response, squeezing his eyes shut. “I mean… we can’t just say no ! But we can’t say yes , either, because we have human parents that we’d be ditching!”
Josh remained silent.
“Well… I would be ditching them, at least,” Ben amended, seeing his expression.
“Yeah… well, what if we talked to them?” Josh tried.
“You mean… tell them that two talking, magic ponies from another dimension are claiming they’re our true parents,” Ben clarified, grimacing.
“Sure, why not? We’re all reasonable adults. If anything, it would raise some interesting questions about how your parents had you,” Josh pointed out.
“Okay… well… it’s a start,” Ben admitted. “But how are we going to convince Celestia and Luna to talk to our parents? I feel like they’d just blast them out of existence for stealing their children, or something.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Now who’s all doom-and-gloom?” he rebutted. “So far, I’ve seen no reason to doubt that we’re in the alpha timeline. As far as we know, then, this version of Celestia and Luna will think twice before blasting their opponents.”
Ben sighed once more, massaging his temples. “I just… I just can’t see any way this will go well.”
Josh shrugged. “Personally, I’m in favor of going home too.”
Ben looked at Josh in surprise. “You are?” he asked disbelievingly.
Josh nodded. “What’s one more set of parents going to do for me? I’ll just disappoint them like usual,” he scoffed.
“Hey…” Ben started.
“What? We both know it’s true. There’s no love lost between me and any of my so-called ‘parents,’ and pretending otherwise was a mistake I’m not willing to repeat,” Josh aggressively replied.
“Jesus, dude… lighten up,” Ben murmured quietly.
Josh quickly fixed his posture to look less intimidating, shooting an apologetic look at his best friend. “I’m sorry, I just… I just can’t do it again. Okay? I can’t… I already know I can’t love anyone that calls themselves my ‘parents.’ I’d rather these two don’t find that out the hard way,” Josh admitted, slumping down.
They opened the door to find Celestia and Luna, who clearly hadn’t been listening in if their inconspicuous distance from the doorway and refusal to look at it was anything to go by.
“Oh. Joy. Now you’re eavesdropping,” Josh pointed out, an unamused look on his face, and the Princesses stiffened in unison.
“I… We apologize. That was very rude of us,” Celestia quickly replied, blushing guiltily.
“Anyway, in case you somehow didn’t hear, we’re going to go talk to Ben’s parents, and see what they think. How soon can you get us home?” Josh asked.
Luna winced at the careless use of the word ‘home.’ “It… it will take some time,” Luna admitted. “But you’re in luck: The mirror we use for interdimensional teleportation will be ready to use as of tomorrow. And with what I learned from the summoning charm from earlier, it should be relatively simple to send you back to… your world. But… what about you, Josh? What about your parents?” Luna asked.
“What about my parents? We’ve made it clear to each other that we don’t actually care about anything the other has to say,” Josh replied callously.
Luna looked as though she’d been slapped, and Josh turned to leave, Ben uncertainly following. “What troubles you so?” she pleaded with him. “You were not this angry when you first found out…”
Josh whirled on the spot, furious. “What troubles me is that yet another set of parents thinks that they can mold me into what they want me to be. You want me to be a prince? All bowing and smiles, and pretending to be obsequiously polite to a bunch of puffed-up, spoiled brats who’re too busy measuring their own dicks to do their jobs? Well, how about no ! I’ll be what I want to be, and neither you nor anyone else will stop me! I will not be CONTROLLED! ”
With that, he stormed away, leaving a flabbergasted Luna and Celestia and a tired-looking Ben to stare after him. Once he was out of sight, Ben sighed.
“We need to talk,” he stated to the two Princesses before him.
It wasn’t a request.
“Josh has… issues with parents,” Ben began. “See, he found out this summer that he wasn’t… conceived normally. Wait, I’m starting this wrong,” he added after seeing the confused and afraid looks on both alicorns’ faces. “Okay. So. From what he told me, when his parents were about a year younger than us, they went to a party. It was an alcohol party, so they both got drunk, and… when his mom woke up the next day, she was pregnant and the dad was nowhere to be found.”
Luna clapped her hooves to her mouth in shock. “He jilted her?” she exclaimed incredulously. Ben raised an eyebrow in consternation.
“It means ‘suddenly rejected her as a lover, for no apparent reason,’” Celestia explained.
“Oh. Then, yeah. That’s exactly what he did. Only, Josh’s mom knew where he was. She made a lot of calls, even got a few legal representatives involved, but the guy’s family hid him in their house and refused to respond to any legal summons. His mom tried to contact the guy for years , but he eventually moved. But, nine months after the initial incident, she gave birth to Josh. She was nineteen years old, a college student at the time. She couldn’t raise a kid, even Josh understands that. So, she put him up for adoption. At two days old, he was adopted by his current parents.
“I don’t think Josh knows what he feels about his current parents. He says he doesn’t love them, and that they don’t love him, and treat him as an obligation at best. But… he also says they try to do some stuff with him. Go on trips, stuff like that,” Ben explained. “He also tells me stories, sometimes, of how he’s had to leave the house. Either out of fury at his parents’ behavior, or… out of fear for his safety.”
Luna’s irises had constricted to the size of pinpricks, and Celestia looked as though she were about to cry.
“You have to understand, he’d never say any of this to anyone but me. For some reason, I’m the only thing he cares about. Not his parents. Not even himself . He tries to laugh it off, but…” Ben trailed off. “He won’t be an easy kid. Most of the time, even to me, he’s completely emotionless. Like he’s built up this, this unbreakable shell of apathy that helps him get through things.” Luna swallowed noisily, breathing hard. “You know? I once asked him if he’d ever contemplated suicide,” Ben remarked sadly.
“W-what did he say?” Celestia asked.
“He said he’d never even considered it. Not out of a will to live… but out of spite to everyone that had tried to make him live their life. He really hates that,” Ben emphasized.
“I never… he seemed so normal . He didn’t smile much, but… I had no idea he was hurting so badly,” Luna softly murmured.
“He’s gotten really good at hiding it. We all have, in this day and age,” Ben muttered.
“I… I should go talk to him. Do you know where he might have gone?” Luna asked Ben.
“He likes to walk far. Really far. I’d try the nearest edge of the mountain,” Ben answered.
Without another word, Luna took off, wings spreading as she flew as fast as she could.
Author's Note
I'm aware that this chapter contains extreme amounts of edge. However, I wouldn't write it in if it wasn't important, so please, bear with me.
And with that, allow me to be the first to make fun of it:
Luna found Josh sitting on one of the many bowl-shaped protrusions of Canterlot. The dish-shaped objects were little more than aesthetic, though some served as recreational pools. However, this one had been closed for the day. It appeared Josh had simply hopped the fence.
“Hello, Josh,” she greeted. Josh remained silent. “Is it alright if I come sit with you?” she continued.
“Not like I can stop you,” he finally replied, sounding as though he’d been crying.
Luna took a seat next to him, and considered putting a wing around his back before deciding against it. “I… I am sorry,” she began, and Josh raised an eyebrow.
“For what?” he asked listlessly, still gazing out at Equestria.
“I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. On either of you. I was selfish, I just wanted my bright-eyed little colt back… but we both know you aren’t him any longer,” Luna softly murmured.
Josh’s gaze dropped to his own legs, hanging over the edge of the cliff. “No,” he agreed. “I haven’t been that kid for a long time.” He sighed. “I want to say that there’s a chance I could be that person again. But… I can’t. I can’t feel love , Luna. I’ve tried for so long now to feel anything for my family back h… back on Earth. Either of them. I just can’t do it, no matter how hard I try. They’re just… there . Talking, and breathing. I can’t hate them… but I can’t love them either. And that’s why I can’t be your son,” Josh explained tonelessly.
“Because you won’t love me?” Luna softly whispered.
“Because I can’t love you. I can’t love anyone. Ben thinks I can, because I’ve convinced him that I’m a good person who cares about everyone. But I know the sad, sad truth. I don’t act kind out of any real sense of caring for anyone’s wellbeing. I do it to try and feel love . It never works, but… I keep trying.” Josh snorted suddenly, causing Luna to look over in surprise. “Heh. This got kind of edgy, huh?” he muttered to himself.
Luna elected to ignore that part, not knowing what ‘edgy’ meant and not wishing to insult him by guessing.
“You know something really weird?” Josh spoke up after a moment.
“What?” Luna asked.
“Back in second grade, when I was about… eight years old. I suddenly came up with this idea that I was secretly a prince,” Josh told her, a slight smile coming to his face. “I was really the son of some amazing royalty, and that they’d come and find me and take me away from my mean parents.”
Luna teared up. “Oh, Josh …” she murmured.
“It wasn’t pretty. I’d act like this big, pompous prat in elementary school, make a fool of myself, and all the kids in my grade would laugh at me. I guess it’s kind of interesting that I was right,” Josh wondered. “And when you told me I was the lost Prince… that’s what I got reminded of. Me, trying to act like stuck-up royalty when in reality I’m just a middle-class idiot,” he explained.
Luna sat back. This was clearly far worse than she’d expected. On the outside, Josh had seemed like a normal, kind person. He made jokes, he laughed. He could be uncaring at times, but she’d never have suspected this kind of internal turmoil. His apathy from years of emotional neglect, turned to self-hatred at the very thing he’d made himself into to survive, turned to a shell of kind smiles and polite words that he never meant. And at the crux of it all… was Ben. Ben had mentioned that Josh cared about him, and even if Josh denied it, there had to be something there.
“What about Ben makes him different?” she asked suddenly, and Josh looked over in surprise.
“Different?” he repeated curiously.
“You’ve stuck by him all these years. He clearly cares about you… and you care about him!” she asserted.
Josh snorted. “I keep Ben around because he’s a good influence. Unlike me, he knows how to care about people, and how to make friends. Have you ever seen him in our old high school? Never mind that, of course you haven’t,” he quickly added as Luna opened her mouth. “Point is, people will just walk up to him, and start a conversation, and before you know it he’ll have ten more friends before the day’s out. And… he helped me out of a pretty dark time in my life,” Josh admitted, sounding reluctant to speak. “Before I was like… this … well, I was a hell of a lot worse. I cared so little for others’ concerns that I’d bully them and ruin their lives for my own amusement . He snapped me out of it. He… he never forced me to do anything… but he didn’t give up on me.”
Luna was confused and dismayed at this point. She knew Josh cared about things, and he knew it too. But he was telling himself otherwise. Why? Why lie to himself that he was a bad human? Almost unbidden, a conversation she’d had with Celestia long ago resurfaced in her memory.
“You can’t think of yourself as Nightmare Moon forever, Lulu,” Celestia had said softly, as Luna tried not to cry. “You’re a better pony, even if you don’t think so. I know you are.”
“I know you do not wish to be molded by parents. But… instead of forcing you… I could help you. I have not been a stellar example of a princess myself. I know enough about doubt, and hating myself, to tell that you now know it too,” she cajoled.
Josh sighed, looking unconvinced.
“I promise I won’t be angry at you, or try to make you do something you don’t want to. I just want to make you happy. What would make you happy? If it is in my power, I shall do it,” Luna softly inquired.
Josh put his hands over his face.
“…Josh?” Luna tried.
Without warning, Josh wrapped his arms around her, causing Luna to squeak as she was pulled in for a hug. “Please don’t leave me,” Josh whispered hoarsely, his eyes watering. “I just want someone to love, anyone … please… I’m so tired of everything…”
Luna nuzzled her way into his shirt, trying not to cry and failing valiantly. “That’s all I want too,” she whispered back.
They stayed together like that for quite a while, neither one daring to speak.
Eventually, Josh came back to his senses. “So… that escalated quickly…” he joked weakly, looking at her anxiously to gauge her reaction.
“That’s alright,” Luna answered, looking up at him. “After what you’ve been through, you’ve every right to be emotional. You don’t have to hide your feelings anymore, Josh. You’re free .”
Josh stared at her for a moment, then sighed and looked away, smiling slightly. “To think I even considered leaving,” he quipped, picking Luna up. She was extremely light – just ten pounds or so. Josh remembered that birds had hollow bone structures and much lower body density, which was why their wings could support them.
Luna laughed happily in his arms as he walked around the edge of the pool and hopped over the waist-high fence again. “Is there anything you would like to do? We have some time before… before the portal opens,” she trailed off, wincing at the reminder.
Josh, however, seemed unperturbed, a small smile on his face. “Are there any science shops in Canterlot? If I’m going to stay here, I want to move my lab back home over here,” he uncertainly asked, looking distinctly like a child who’d just asked their parents if they could go to Disneyworld. What he wasn’t anticipating was Luna’s enthusiastic reaction.
“A lab? What do you do?” she asked eagerly.
Taken aback, Josh raised both eyebrows at her. “Well, it’s mostly inorganic stuff. Isolation of elements of the Periodic Table… I have a collection of them…” he trailed off. He’d been expecting Luna to be turned off by his nerdiness, as his prior parents had been, but instead she seemed more enthusiastic than ever.
“I have been studying the natural sciences as well! How many do you have? According to ‘Tia, we have only isolated thirty-one, but she suspects there are many more-“ she was stopped by Josh doing a double take.
“Thirty-one ?! There are over a hundred and twenty of them!” he answered incredulously. “…Um, anyway, I have about forty-seven right now,” he added on a moment later, remembering her question.
“What is your favorite? So far, mine is phosphorus. ‘Tis a capricious element, and the white form reminds me of my own moon when it glows,” Luna fondly reminisced.
Josh smiled. “Mine would have to be… bromine. I have quite a history with it,” he remarked, grinning at the memories of many failed attempts. “You… like science?” he asked uncertainly after a moment.
“Of course,” Luna answered, looking up at him and smiling. “There is no nobler passion than the pursuit of knowledge, after all. Though, my sister might disagree. She always was the ‘artistic’ type,” Luna reminisced, smirking.
“Better than my old parents. They were the ‘business’ type. Otherwise known as the ‘is that sodium chloride dangerous?’ type,” Josh snorted. Luna chuckled uneasily.
In all honesty, she was not quite as interested in natural science as she was making Josh believe. Being a millennia-old princess, chemistry was simply one of the many passions she had picked up – and being away from any scientific advancement for a thousand years meant that she had been doing quite a bit of ‘catching up’ lately. But if it made him happy, she would unhesitatingly delve deeper into this interest. She’d make herself as enthusiastic as he was.
They walked together in silence for a while, passing by the streets of Canterlot that Josh had run through so abruptly just an hour ago.
“So, if you are to move your lab over here, I must make one request,” Luna began after a while.
Josh looked over in dismay. “Yes?” he asked.
“Please write up and publish your results,” Luna suggested. “We could certainly use the information, after all!”
Josh looked at her a moment, his face slowly breaking into a surprised grin. “And here I thought you were going to lecture me on safety,” he admitted.
Luna snorted. “I’ve gotten enough lectures from my sister to know where that would lead. Just don’t die, and you’ll be fine,” she joked.
Josh laughed, a clear, bright peal of laughter that echoed through the clearing, and Luna looked delighted – she’d finally gotten a real laugh out of him, instead of an apathetic chuckle.
They returned to the castle a few hours later, Josh’s arms still full of science equipment as Luna proudly strutted along beside him.
“-And then, the whole thing burst into flames! Half my equipment melted on the spot,” Josh regaled the Lunar Princess, who laughed uproariously.
“Sister? Josh? You’re back!” Celestia called, immediately flying over from her throne.
“Oh, hey,” Josh greeted cheerfully. “I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior-“ he began, but was stopped by Celestia holding up a hoof.
“Ben explained everything, and you have nothing to apologize for. So… will you stay?” she asked, dropping any pretense as she looked at him anxiously.
Josh looked at Luna, who smiled back. “Yeah,” he answered. “I will.”
Celestia immediately took him into a hug, shocking most of the guards in the room as she happily nuzzled his forehead. Ben peeked out from around the throne, looking as shocked as the guards did.
“Really? You’re staying ? What happened to not being controlled?” he asked.
Josh leveled his gaze at his friend-turned-brother. “Ben, I have been with my new mom for all of four hours and she has already proven herself to be a better mom than I’ve had in nineteen years . I’d be an idiot to turn away from this ,” he answered, gesturing at Luna.
She smiled proudly, and Celestia flashed her an excited smile. “Then we are glad to have you back, Miracle Matter… unless you still want to be called ‘Josh?’” Celestia inquired.
Josh shrugged. “Either’s fine,” he dismissed. “So, Ben… what about you? Are you staying?” he asked.
Ben sighed. “I… haven’t decided yet,” he admitted.
“That’s fine. We’ve got plenty of time,” Josh answered. “Now, if you’ll excuse us… Luna and I have some science to do,” Josh happily declared.
“To the lab!” Luna added enthusiastically as the two of them eagerly made their way to Luna’s room.
Ben and Celestia looked at each other.
“Now there’s two of them,” Ben muttered to Celestia, who giggled.
Luna and Josh spent the rest of the day setting up the equipment they’d bought, talking animatedly about distillation and catalysts and whatever else they felt like doing. By the time lunch rolled around, they were watching a distillation run when Celestia poked her head around the door.
“Luna? Are you and Josh going to join us for lunch?”
Luna nodded distractedly. “In a moment, sister. We simply must finish this reaction Josh proposed – elemental potassium shall be ours yet!”
Celestia rolled her eyes, smirking. “I’ll have something sent to you two, then. Josh, what would you like?” she asked curiously.
“Uhh… do you have pizza?” Josh asked.
“We do,” Celestia answered, giggling slightly. “Toppings?”
Josh hummed in thought. “Mushrooms, onions, olives, pepperoni if you have it, and far too much cheese to be reasonable,” he answered.
Celestia’s giggles turned into outright laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Josh asked.
“Ben ordered the same thing,” Celestia got out.
Josh began laughing as well, and Luna smiled, glancing toward their reaction setup to keep an eye on it. “Want to make it a picnic, then? We could probably take a break, this one should be just about done,” Josh proposed.
Luna obediently shut off the heating and stirring, and followed Josh into the sunlight, where both of them winced.
They found Ben waiting in the dining hall, reading a book that Celestia had given him.
“What’s that?” Josh asked, looking at it curiously.
“It’s a book on Equestrian history. It’s actually pretty interesting, you should read it after I’m done,” Ben answered, eyes still glued to the book in question.
“I’ll definitely do that… in one day…” Josh joked, trailing off intentionally.
Ben chuckled. “You and your insane speedreading skills. So, are we all going to have a pizza party?”
Josh nodded. “I was actually persuaded to leave a laboratory in favor of socializing.”
Ben took on an expression of mock horror. “Who are you and what have you done with the real Josh?!” he accused.
Josh laughed, and Luna snorted in amusement, though she was staring at Josh the entire time. His reactions seemed so real , so genuine. But how much of it was ‘pretend’ and how much was his true emotions? Luna wondered if even Josh knew the difference.
They were accompanied to the gardens by a trio of Guards, Josh looking around in interest at the sprawling hedge maze. “I haven’t been in a maze in a long time… this going to be fun to wander around,” he thought aloud.
“I thought much the same when I first arrived! One day, I shall have to show you all the secrets I found,” Luna chimed in.
“Secrets? What, are there portals to another dimension in a few of the dead ends?” Ben wondered.
Celestia laughed. “Goodness, no, that would be quite the hazard. We simply place a few neat little commemorations and hidden treats for citizens to discover and enjoy,” she explained.
The seven of them trotted into a small, grassy clearing, where two of the Guards laid out a picnic blanket and the third set out pillows for them to sit on, the trio promptly departing once their work was done. Celestia and Luna took their seats immediately, but Josh and Ben were more hesitant.
“What’s wrong?” Celestia asked, noticing their trepidation.
“Uh… maybe if we…” Josh was muttering, taking a cross-legged seat on the pillow with his legs awkwardly splayed out in front of him.
“No, because then you can’t reach the food…” Ben muttered to him, seemingly as unaware as Josh was that they were being watched. Ben laid down on his stomach, stretching his arms out in front of him and propping himself up on his elbows.
“Are you two… alright?” Luna asked, looking at them in consternation.
“We’re trying to sit politely, but… we’re not designed to sit this way,” Josh admitted, slapping a hand to his forehead and grinning as Ben tried yet another pose.
“Oh… oh, right! Of course, forgive us,” Celestia answered, removing the pillows with her magic. “You may sit in whatever position pleases you.”
The pizza came just a few minutes later, steaming hot and carried in a wicker basket. “Your meal, Your Majesties and Guests,” the accompanying chef introduced, bowing and promptly excusing himself. Josh curiously picked up a slice, only to be elbowed viciously by Ben.
“Wait for the plates , bro,” Ben reminded him, and Josh hurriedly put the slice down again.
“Oh, right. My bad.”
Celestia and Luna lifted out plates from under where the pizza had been, as well as napkins, and passed them over to the two. Josh and Ben put their slices on their plates as tenderly and neatly as they could, tucked in their napkins, and began taking slow, measured bites of their pizza.
Luna and Celestia looked at each other. Far from dismissing their eventual role as princes, it seemed their errant children had suddenly decided to try and impress them – which, in a way, was worse. There could be no bonding between them if Josh and Ben were so scared of their opinions that they would change themselves to fit. Something had to be done.
All this and more was communicated in the look they shared, and Celestia was the first to act. Lifting up a slice of pizza with her magic, she took a huge bite out of it, forgoing manners in favor of stuffing as much pizza as possible into her maw. Josh and Ben stared in shock as pizza sauce dripped down her chin, staining her pearly white coat red-orange. She swallowed the entire thing, the bulge traveling down her sinuous neck as she adopted a look of satisfaction.
“Delicious,” she quipped after she had finished.
Josh and Ben continued to stare at her silently, and Celestia began to wonder if perhaps that had been the right decision after all. She had only meant to imply that she did not care about manners, and that the two should be able to enjoy the food they had wanted without worrying about impressing them – had she done something wrong?
Meanwhile, the only thing going through Josh and Ben’s minds was Did she just…?
Luna, looking back and forth between the two, decided to clear up the misunderstanding. “What my sister is attempting to communicate is that we will not chastise you for manners. Go on, enjoy your food!” she urged. Josh looked over at her, and just like that, the spell was broken.
“…Ooohhhh…” they both realized in unison.
“Okay, uh… sure,” Josh answered uncertainly, and picked up a slice of pizza as normal, taking a much larger bite out of it.
Ben followed suit, smiling as he dug into his slice, and Celestia and Luna relaxed, relieved that their message had gotten across.
“You really don’t have to worry about impressing us, you know,” Luna spoke up after a moment.
“Why not?” Josh asked, before taking another bite. “We’re going to be princes in a short while, after all. Don’t we have to be all prim and proper?” he wondered.
Celestia laughed. “In truth, we rarely attend meals with the nobility, as they usually swarm us with questions and concerns that would be best answered elsewhere. We got lucky earlier today, because it was not a scheduled mealtime. As for your manners… even if you were the most disgusting of slobs, we would still accept you, because we love you. No matter what you’re like, you are our children.” Ben smiled at her, seemingly accepting her argument, but Josh remained unconvinced.
“How much of that love is an obligation to care for anything you call ‘offspring,’ then, and how much is love for who we really are?” he challenged.
“All of it is love for who you are,” Luna replied passionately. “Of course we love you! You’ve shown bravery and ingenuity to come this far, and if we were not related, I would be proud to call you my friend !” Luna realized that she had slipped back into the Royal Canterlot Voice, judging by the startled looks on Josh and Ben’s faces, and looked at them apologetically. “Sorry. I… it’s an old habit of mine, born from addressing the public. I did not mean to yell.”
Josh shook his head to clear it, then smiled. “Well… at least I can tell you care . That’s… I guess that answers my question.”
They ate in silence for a moment, before Josh spoke up again. “So, I’m kinda curious, and I know this may be a touchy subject, but… how’d you lose us?” he asked.
Luna winced, and Celestia sighed. “A horrible mare wanted to take you away from us. She’d somehow convinced you that you were better off with her , not us, and foalnapped you, Josh. Ben followed, trying to rescue you, but got lost as well. We couldn’t rescue you because… well… we were… distracted,” Celestia shamefacedly admitted.
“Sister! We were not distracted , speak truths! We could not rescue the pair of you because I had become Nightmare Moon!” Luna added angrily.
Josh raised an eyebrow. “…Oh,” was his only answer.
Luna sighed, and lay back down, head resting on top of her forelegs. “It’s all my fault,” she mumbled, looking as though she were trying not to cry. “If it hadn’t been for me, we’d never have lost you. You’d never have had to grow up on another world… somehow…” she trailed off. Celestia looked as though she wanted to say something, tensing as Luna looked at the floor.
“Yeah… I’m kind of missing that bit too. Maybe this mare, whoever she was, decided to hide us off-planet to avoid your notice? But that’s kind of extreme,” Ben wondered aloud.
“At this rate, I’m tempted to wonder if we’re merely alternate-universe selves of the originals,” Josh added, rolling over to stare up at the sky. “It would certainly explain why the teleport spell went so awry, as well as our existing birth records – instead of pulling the existing copies of Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology, the spell found the nearest replacements.”
Luna looked uneasy. “I do not think that is the case… but it is a possibility,” she admitted.
“I prefer Ben’s theory,” Celestia spoke up. “There is no need to bring in an ‘alternate universe’ when none are confirmed to exist.”
Josh looked at her incredulously. “What about the high school on the other side of Star Swirl’s mirror?!” he reminded her, and Celestia appeared taken aback.
“How do you know about that ?” she queried, just as incredulous.
Josh realized that he had managed to somehow fuck up even worse than last time. “I – uh… Twilight told me?” he tried.
Celestia was not amused. “Princess Twilight is under strict orders not to discuss the existence of the mirror. You have some explaining to do,” she commanded, spreading her wings intimidatingly.
“Sister! Calm down, I am sure there is some rational explanation for this!” Luna pleaded, tugging at one of Celestia’s wings in shock.
“Is there?! Because the only thing I can think of is that these are two impostors who have managed to fool even us!” Celestia accused.
“Wait!” Ben cried out, scared by how quickly this had devolved. “It’s not that, we can explain!”
Celestia looked at Ben imperiously. “Then please do,” she invited, still glaring at him threateningly.
“Okay, so back home, there’s this TV show we watch called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” and I haven’t watched it in a really long time but basically it follows Twilight around and shows her adventures and that’s how we knew who you were and what the mirror was!” Ben rattled off in one breath, looking terrified.
Celestia appeared confused, though she remained suspicious. “What?” she questioned.
“Your world’s a fictional story, the main character is Twilight Sparkle, and we know everything ,” Josh re-explained.
Luna appeared to be shocked speechless, but Celestia was not so easily deterred. “Prove it, then. Say something only an outside viewer could have possibly known,” the solar princess demanded.
Josh rolled his eyes. “Barring the objective improbability of that proof… alright, I’ll give it a shot. Remember when you first saw Twilight, just after she’d defeated Nightmare Moon?” he began. Celestia slowly nodded. “She asked you something about why you hadn’t told her about the Elements of Harmony. You replied that you only asked her to ‘make some friends.’ It was a very heartwarming end to the first episode,” Josh finished, and Celestia sat back.
“I had checked that room, before appearing… there was nopony in the room besides we eight,” she mused.
“See! They are telling the truth!” Luna spoke up.
“Look. We weren’t going to tell you this earlier, because we knew it’d make you uncomfortable. But, apparently, I can’t keep my mouth shut today, so now you know,” Josh finished angrily.
“I… oh, no… I’m so sorry!” Celestia hastily apologized. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of impersonation, it’s just… we’ve had reports of possible changeling infiltrations recently… oh, goodness,” she trailed off.
Josh glared at her for a moment, lips pursed, before deciding to drop it. “Yeah, I’m not getting that. Aren’t changelings on our side nowadays? I met some in Ponyville, and I might have met some in the caves when the train stopped,” Josh remembered.
“The ones in Ponyville we are aware of. According to them, they are refugees from the remainder of their Hive, and are allowed no sanctions if they return. There are a few additional changelings that have undergone a dramatic transformation lately, and they are friendly as well. But what did you see in the caves?” Celestia inquired curiously, and Ben looked over.
“Well, the train stopped because the conductor saw something that scared him, so I decided to go out and investigate while he repaired some of the wheels, which had come off of the track. I brought a lantern, found nothing, and was making my way back when I dropped it like an idiot, leaving myself stranded in pitch blackness. So, I panicked, and someone relit the lamp and brought it back to me. It was left on a really conspicuously dry patch of bedrock, so I don’t think it was coincidence,” Josh told them. “The conductor had said there were changelings in the caves, and we found a scrap of something that he was sure belonged to them and was stuck in one of the wheels. So… there you go,” he finished.
“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Ben commented, but Celestia shook her head.
“Well… perhaps they are friendly,” she admitted. “But I am taking no chances. I will not be caught by surprise again, especially if the rumors about the queen leading this attack are true.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Chrysalis again? You’d think she’d quit.”
Luna looked at him in surprise. “How do you… of course, Twilight was there,” she realized.
Josh simply nodded. “Now you’re getting it,” he answered. “We saw her attempt to infiltrate the wedding, and again versus Starlight Glimmer. They were both season finale episodes,” he explained.
Celestia tugged at her peytral uncomfortably. “So… you knew about us? This whole time?”
Josh nodded, having gone back to laying down and staring at the sky. “Makes for awkward conversation, doesn’t it? Meeting a fictional character, and having them claim they’re your mom. It almost makes me wonder how much of this we could have avoided if I just hadn’t told you.”
Celestia looked apologetic. “I am sorry for my outburst earlier. I just… things have been stressful lately. Can you forgive me?” she pleaded.
“Sure,” Ben immediately answered, with Josh hesitating for only a moment before repeating the affirmation.
“It’s so strange, to think we are fictional,” Luna mused.
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts,” Josh quoted.
Celestia smiled at him. “You know Shake Spear?” she asked delightedly.
Josh sighed. “...Yeah, let’s go with that,” he answered. “So, have either of you ever tried making peace with changelings before?” he asked suddenly.
“Why do you ask?” Luna wondered.
“I dunno. Just seems like it’d be less work,” Josh replied.
“Well… sister?” Luna passed off, looking at Celestia, who sighed.
“I… I have not tried,” she admitted. “After all the things she did… I do not think I can forgive Chrysalis her crimes. The other changelings… they are alright. But not her.”
Josh pursed his lips, but said nothing. Why did he even care? Sure, changelings had helped him in the past, but that didn’t mean Chrysalis was off the hook.
With no other conversation forthcoming, he closed his eyes, basking in the heat of the sun.
“Josh? Has he fallen asleep?” he heard Luna asking, and smiled.
“Josh, get up, you lazy cat!” Ben irritably replied, bumping Josh on the shoulder.
“Whaaat? I’m just resting my eyes,” he complained. He felt a soft pad touch his nose, and wrinkled it in dissatisfaction, to the giggles of the Princesses. He opened his eyes to find Luna prodding him on the nose, trying to keep from giggling more. Josh rolled his eyes and sat up.
“Are you tired?” Luna asked him, seeing him slump over.
Josh shook his head, blinking as he adjusted to not having the sun in his face. “Nah, I’ll be fine,” Josh yawned. “So… are we going to be immortal alicorns?” he asked curiously.
Luna and Celestia looked at each other. “Only if you stay… and only if you want to. You grew up as humans, if we understand correctly, and we have no desire to put you in a body you’re unaccustomed to without your consent,” Luna answered.
“Works for me,” Josh answered.
“Yeah… as cool as that would be… uh… nevermind,” Ben stopped, a guilty look on his face.
They returned to the castle, the Guards stationed at the entrance saluting as they caught sight of the Princesses.
“Your Majesties, Prince Blueblood awaits you in the throne room,” a secretary who had been waiting just inside the door informed them.
“Please tell him I will be with him momentarily,” Celestia answered.
She nodded at Luna, who gestured for Josh and Ben to follow her.
“Best to let ‘Tia attend to business,” Luna explained as she led them away.
Josh and Ben spent a few hours just playing videogames – or rather, Josh watched while Ben played games.
“God dammit !” Ben cursed as his character died again.
“Wow. You… suck ,” Josh quipped, laughing as he reclined on the couch next to Ben.
“I’d like to see you get past this one!” Ben retorted in frustration.
“You gotta dodge left, he never shoots to the left,” Josh advised.
“I heard shouting in here, is everything alright?” Luna asked, poking her head in.
“It’s fine, Ben’s just frustrated with this game,” Josh explained.
Luna walked in and stared at the screen, where Ben’s character was hurriedly dodging and weaving as he tried to squeeze in an attack.
“Would you mind if I tried?” Luna asked, taking a seat beside Josh and placing a wing over his back.
Ben handed off the controller in a huff. “Yeah, I’m done . Move the joystick to move around, and this button to shoot, and this button to tuck and roll,” Ben instructed, Luna watching intently as he pointed out each part of the controller. Nodding, Luna picked up the controller with her magic and began playing.
“FOUL, WRETCHED CREATURE! WE SHALT SEND THEE BACK TO THE PITS OF TARTARUS FROM WHENCE THOU CAME!” Luna shouted in frustration a few minutes later, her eyes glowing white with power as she died for the seventh time in a row.
Ben was rolling on the floor, clutching his sides as he laughed as hard as he could, while Josh was simply grinning at Luna’s antics.
“Want to try again?” Josh asked, as Luna continued to fume with rage.
She growled fiercely at the TV screen. “I had better not,” she muttered, giving up with a sigh as she passed the controller off to Ben.
“Sister? Have you calmed down yet?” Celestia asked from the other side of the door.
“Yes… mostly ,” Luna grumbled back.
“Good. Claire was worried her house was going to explode,” Celestia chastised.
“I would never do such a thing!” Luna declared indignantly.
“Are you sure about that?” Josh teased.
“Well, I would put it back when I was done ,” Luna muttered, still miffed.
Ben snorted with amusement, and opened the door to reveal Celestia rolling her eyes.
“I believe we have one last stop to make,” she reminded everyone.
“Oh, yeah. Well, I guess we’d better say our goodbyes,” Josh remarked.
“Bye, mom!” Ben said, engulfing Claire in a hug.
“Bye, son,” Claire managed to choke out, immediately tearing up again.
Celestia and Luna wiped tears from their own eyes at the display of affection, while Josh simply waited patiently.
“Goodbye, Claire. I will keep you informed every month, I promise,” Celestia added once the two humans had finally broken apart.
“Thank you, Celestia. May we see each other again soon?” Claire asked.
Celestia nodded, smiling. “Of course. Take care of yourself!”
And with that, the group departed, Claire waving tearfully from the front door as they took off into the skies.
“Where to next?” Luna asked Josh, as she and Celestia flew at a leisurely pace, high above the clouds.
“East. Far east. We’re looking for a place called Cleveland,” Josh explained.
Luna hummed in thought. “I believe we are going to need directions. Sister, this place seems as modern as Equestria to me – where might we acquire a map?” she asked.
“I got it,” Ben answered, pulling out his phone. He tapped out an address, and a moment later a robotic voice spoke up, startling Celestia.
“Follow I-90 for three hundred miles,” it instructed monotonously.
“Who was that ?” Celestia asked, craning her neck around.
“Robotic navigating system,” Josh answered. “It’s not a real person, just the phone reading instructions out loud.”
Celestia hesitatingly accepted this, though Josh saw her glance back suspiciously at the phone every now and then.
A few hours in, there was a rumbling drone in the distance, and a plane appeared off to their left. “Should we be worried about photography?” Ben worried.
“Nah,” Josh answered. “What’re they gonna do, arrest us? We’re way too powerful to worry about that.”
Luna looked up at Josh. “Why would they arrest us?” she wondered.
“Humans, as a group, tend to attack or imprison what they don’t like,” Josh answered.
Luna raised an eyebrow at him. “How curious. Humans would not even attempt to make amends with their enemies?”
Josh shrugged. “Sometimes? Not often.”
Ben looked over at the plane, a thought occurring to him. “Hey, aren’t we getting exposed to a ton of solar radiation right now? And also, shouldn’t we be asphyxiating from lack of oxygen? Not to mention, we should be freezing with how high up we are and how fast we’re moving,” he began to worry, hyperventilating slightly.
“Do not fear, Ben. I took care of all that before we even took off. I must say, your sun is quite… harsh ,” Celestia noted, looking up in dismay at Sol.
To the humans’ surprise, they arrived in Cleveland just before dusk, Luna and Celestia panting slightly.
“Maybe we’d better rest up, huh?” Josh wondered. Luna tiredly nodded, and Josh led them through the streets. “Come on, everyone. I’ll get us into my room.”
As they walked towards his apartment building, they passed by yet another random human stranger, who stopped and stared at them just like all the other ones had. Thankfully, there weren’t any crowds because it was so late, but Josh had begun to echo Ben’s worries from earlier in his mind. They were alicorns, true, but what if someone decided to use a sniper rifle from a rooftop? Josh wasn’t sure Celestia and Luna even knew about guns. Though, he didn't think news could reach any group with a bone to pick with them that quickly. Still, it was probably better to hurry... but he just couldn't bring himself to tell Celestia and Luna to move any faster.
Finally, they made it to his apartment building. “My room’s right up there, on the fifth floor,” Josh said, pointing. Luna flew up, already exhausted again, and Celestia elected to teleport directly into the room, where she collapsed onto the floor, out cold. Ben opened the sliding glass door from the inside, and Josh stepped into his college apartment.
It was spacious for an apartment, with its own kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. One bed had been moved out to the living room, though it was stripped bare of any sheets. Ben gently picked Celestia up, evidently surprised that he even could, and carefully deposited her on the mattress.
“Do you have any extra sheets?” he asked Josh.
“Yeah, they’re in the closet over there,” Josh yawned, looking around in satisfaction. Until just a day ago, this had been where he had lived… Strangely, he was sorry to see it go.
Luna somehow managed to make it to the same mattress Celestia was on, cuddling into her older sister and falling asleep almost instantly.
“Guess we really tired them out, huh?” Ben noted in dismay as he meticulously tucked them in, placing a pillow under their heads.
“Good night’s rest, and they’ll be right back up again. Alicorns are tough, last I remembered,” Josh answered apathetically.
Ben rolled his eyes, but made no further comment. “Where should I sleep?” he wondered, looking into Josh’s bedroom.
“Go ahead and sleep in my bed, I’ll just take the couch,” Josh answered.
“You sure? I wouldn’t mind,” Ben offered.
Josh rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. Look at me, the bed’s overkill at this point,” he answered, gesturing to his newly diminished stature.
“If you say so…” Ben muttered.
Hours later, the moon had risen in the Ohio night sky, and all was dark in Josh’s apartment, except for a single, rectangular screen. It had taken him far too long, but Josh had finally managed to type out a farewell letter to his old parents. In Josh’s view, it was short, sweet, and to the point. Tiredly, he pressed Send on his email screen, and closed the laptop. That done, he checked the time on the microwave clock in the kitchen. It was 4:12 in the morning, and everyone else was fast asleep. Josh sighed, and moved back towards the couch, shivering as he buried himself deeper into the cushions in an attempt to warm himself. This had been a terrible idea.
He awoke to a gentle nudge to his side.
“Hey, get up, it’s breakfast time,” Ben whispered in his ear.
“I’m up…” Josh groaned, pushing himself to a sitting position and wondering when he had even fallen asleep.
“Josh, why do you have so few foodstuffs?” Luna questioned curiously from next to Ben. “We found naught but a single jug of milk, some bread, and a can of peanut butter in your whole apartment.”
Josh yawned. “I couldn’t afford to buy more, I spent all my money on science,” he answered, too tired to be anything but honest.
Luna frowned in dismay. “Josh… you shouldn’t be sacrificing your health for your hobbies…” she tried.
“I wasn’t ,” Josh insisted. “Once a day, I’d go down to the dining hall, and get a proper meal there. I’ve been eating fine .”
Luna appeared unconvinced, though she didn’t say anything more on the subject.
“Anyway, I’ve prepared a proper meal,” Celestia called from in the kitchen, and the delicious scent of blueberry pancakes wafted in. Josh rolled his eyes, and joined his family for breakfast.
“So, where’d you get the pancakes?” he asked, after he’d already finished his stack.
“I went out and got them,” Ben answered. “Also, we’re in the news.”
He slid across a newspaper to reveal a candid shot of the four of them walking across Cleveland, with the headline “Unicorns in Cleveland? Now I’ve Really Seen Everything!” Josh laughed as he skimmed the article, though Luna appeared less amused with its contents.
“I can’t believe they missed the wings. ‘Unicorns,’ honestly,” Luna muttered.
“Looks like the jury’s out on whether this was first contact or an elaborate hoax,” Josh paraphrased.
“Should we lay low?” Ben worried.
Josh shrugged. “I don’t think it matters. Not like we’re going to be sticking around long, anyway… We have what, two more days?”
Celestia nodded. “In fact, I propose we leave at once. From what I know of news tabloids, this story is sure to die shortly if nothing else noteworthy happens.”
Josh nodded. “Sounds good to me. Anyway… I guess we should pack my stuff, huh?” he remarked, gazing back at the bedroom.
Luna smirked. “I already cleaned out your bedroom and bathroom… and your secret chemical stash,” she deviously revealed.
Josh chuckled. “I guess hiding it in the closet was a bit cliché, huh?” he joked. “Anyway, all that’s left is my laptop and some stuff in the kitchen drawers… ah, wait. I gotta pick up some stuff from think[box]…” he realized, slapping a hoof to his face in embarrassment.
“What is ‘Think Box?’” Luna asked curiously.
“It’s an inventing center for students to build stuff. I have a bunch of stuff over there I was working on,” Josh explained.
“Oh, I get it! ‘Thinking inside the box,’ hence ‘think box,’” Celestia realized.
Josh nodded, chuckling. “…Yeah. Anyway, how am I going to check out my stuff? I can’t go there looking like this .”
Luna thought for a moment. “Perhaps a disguise may be in order?” she suggested.
“A glamour spell ought to suffice,” Celestia mused. “As long as you don’t bump into anyone…” She lit her horn, and Josh’s body glowed yellow for a brief moment.
“Whoa!” Ben exclaimed, jumping back and covering his eyes.
“Huh? I don’t… look any different,” Josh remarked.
“It only affects those around you. This is your human form, correct?” Celestia asked, looking at Ben.
“PUT SOME CLOTHES ON HIM!” Ben thundered.
“Oh! Right,” Celestia realized embarrassedly as she lit her horn again.
Ben snuck a peek at Josh, and relaxed.
“Wait… the glamour was naked ?” Josh queried, blushing crimson.
“I didn’t account for clothes !” Celestia explained. “Most ponies don’t wear clothes!” Both humans’ faces were scrunched up in embarrassment, and Luna laughed at their expressions.
“What is the matter?” she inquired teasingly, as Celestia smiled. “Afraid to show off your own bodies?”
Josh opened an eye to glare at her. “Yeah , actually. It’s really important for humans to stay clothed,” he answered angrily.
Luna and Celestia immediately stopped smiling. “Oh… I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!” Luna hurriedly apologized.
“This is my fault, I should have realized that. Every other human wore clothes, why didn’t I see that?!” Celestia muttered to herself.
Josh took a deep breath. “It’s okay. It wasn’t in public, so it’s okay,” he answered, talking more to himself than them. "Second time this has happened, really," he added as an afterthought. “Alright… well, Ben? Anything missing?” he asked, looking at his still-blushing brother.
“No… no, you’re fine. Thank goodness the table was in the way of your lower half…” Ben grumbled.
Josh chuckled halfheartedly. “Alright, well… since I’m the only one of us who hasn’t been on the news yet, I’ll head out alone. See you in a bit!” he finished, grabbing a backpack in his teeth.
Josh headed out into the bright Cleveland morning, shielding his eyes from the sun. He’d managed to sling his backpack over his legs in a similar manner to how he’d normally put it on, so he hoped it looked ‘right’ through the glamour spell. He felt especially self-conscious now that he was disguised, almost as if any second someone would point at him and yell “ALIEN!” So, he hurried his step, avoiding pedestrians and ignoring traffic lights whenever possible to reach think[box] faster.
A few detours and an elevator flight later, he walked into the reception area.
“Morning, Alex,” he greeted.
“Josh? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” Alex wondered, doing a double take.
Josh shrugged. “Canceled, the instructor had a migraine,” he lied. “Anyway, I’m here to pick up all my stuff.”
Alex accepted this with a shrug of his own. “Works for me. Sign in, and I’ll get your badge.”
Josh looked at the sign-in pad. It was an IPad which had been attached to a robotic arm, and he realized with a sinking feeling that the touch screen would only work if he had fingers. He had to act, fast.
“Uhh… Sign-in’s not working for me,” he improvised, tapping the power button on the side to turn the IPad off.
“Huh? Oh, not again ,” Alex groaned, and Josh internally breathed a sigh of relief. “This thing’s been restarting all day. I have no idea what’s up with it,” Alex muttered. “Ah well, you sign in every other hour anyway. Just sign in later today, and it’ll be registered in the system.”
Josh nodded, thanking every god he could name and a few that he couldn’t. “Sure, yeah.”
He put on his goggles and gloves, somehow managing to slip them onto his hooves and larger head without anyone noticing anything odd. Alex handed him his badge, and then looked at him strangely.
“Um. Are you… not putting your fingers in your gloves?” he wondered. Josh realized that to Alex, it must look like he had his fists closed inside the gloves. Stupid glamour spell, being designed for ponies!
“Um… yeah. It’s an inside joke. From a show I was watching,” Josh fibbed.
Alex raised an eyebrow. “I don’t get it,” he answered. “Alright, whatever. Off you go, then!” he dismissed, returning to his station, and Josh hurriedly made his way towards the lockers.
A few minutes later, he had all of his apparatus and chemicals stored safely in his backpack, and was walking out of think[box]. Nobody had questioned him, and Josh thanked his lucky stars that it wasn’t a tour day – if he had had to answer questions about what he was inventing today, he would probably have had a nervous breakdown. “I can’t believe that went so well,” he muttered under his breath, trotting towards his apartment as fast as he could.
Meanwhile, back at think[box], Alex looked around for a moment before signaling to a fellow employee.
“Assad? I’m going on break,” he announced. Assad looked over at him indignantly.
“You just went on break!” he accused.
Alex looked at him seriously. “I… I need to go on break, Assad. It’s important. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few!” he remarked, heading for the bathroom just outside the reception area.
Quickly, Alex dialed a phone number, locking the door. “Yeah… I’m pretty sure it’s legit,” he answered an unseen voice. “It was definitely him.” The voice spoke a few more words, and then promptly hung up. Alex put the phone back in his pocket. “I knew there was something off about that weirdo,” he muttered. Just then, he caught sight of something behind him in the mirror. “What the-“ he exclaimed, whirling around.
And Alex knew no more.
The thing that had attacked him picked up his phone, studying the small device intently. It had seen the pattern the human had traced to unlock it, and copied it. Upon seeing the call screen, still blinking orange with the digits of the mysterious recipient, the thing nodded to itself. It had orders to follow. It paused a moment, glancing at the unconscious figure of Alex on the floor below it. If its quick, crude research on this strange world’s customs had been correct, the other humans upon finding this ‘Alex’ would most likely assume Alex had been doing ‘drugs,’ and he would be ‘fired.’ The thing contemplated this. It did not much care whether ‘Alex’ was ‘fired’ or not, but it knew that any loose ends could quickly complicate things. So, it did the natural thing, and bit him again, this time directly on the neck. A simple amnesiac was all that was needed – in about one and a half minutes, Alex would awake, with no memory of the past few days. Satisfied, the thing became transparent once more, and awaited further instructions.
Chapter 10 - The Homecoming
“Alright, are we ready to go?” Celestia asked, casting one last glance at their surroundings.
Ben gave the thumbs-up, and Josh seconded with a nod.
“Before we go…” Luna spoke up, and all eyes turned to her. She smiled at the pair of humans. “I would just like to say… I am glad you stayed, both of you. I promise you will not regret this choice.”
Josh merely nodded acceptingly, but Ben stooped down and hugged Luna tightly, the Princess of the Night nuzzling into him comfortingly.
Celestia engulfed them all in a hug, her massive wingspan scooching them all together as she sniffled slightly. “May we never be apart again,” she murmured. Ben leaned into her as well, while Josh elected to remain still.
After a few seconds, he realized he was supposed to do something emotional, and leaned into Luna, closing his eyes.
They broke apart after a moment, and Celestia stepped out onto the balcony, wings spread as Ben climbed atop her.
“Don’t pull so much,” she complained.
“Sorry! Sorry, you alright?” Ben asked in concern.
Celestia giggled. “I’ll be fine. Just… here,” she offered, lifting him up with her magic and depositing him on her back.
Josh followed suit, climbing onto Luna with relative ease due to her shorter stature.
The flight home was long, and boring. They played music, watched a few shows on their smartphones, and generally did their best to relieve the boredom of flying so far across the country.
Finally, they landed in a grassy clearing Josh didn’t recognize, the two Princesses stopping a moment to stretch their wings.
“Where are we?” Ben asked, looking around.
“I figured we could teleport directly through the portal from here,” Celestia explained. “Avoid some… awkwardness.”
Josh quickly realized they were talking about his parents, and nodded. “Good thinking.”
Celestia took a moment to compose herself, breathing deeply. “Ben? Would you like… would you like to turn into an alicorn through the mirror?” she asked carefully.
Ben appeared surprised at the question. “Oh! Right, since… the mirror can do that. Um…” he trailed off, looking at Josh.
Josh shrugged. “It’s kind of weird, but you get used to it,” he answered Ben’s unspoken question.
“Right… you know what? Go for it,” Ben decided.
Celestia smiled, relieved. “A brave choice. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt in any way,” she soothed.
She lit her horn, and Ben disappeared in a flash of light, Josh blinking as his retinas reacted to the sudden flare. Without wasting a moment, Celestia lit her horn again, and the three of them vanished in the same flash of light.
They reappeared in front of the mirror, the swirling glass surface fading from view. In front of them was a vividly blue alicorn, who appeared to be out cold, as well as several neat piles of stuff that had been teleported through the mirror. Josh looked at Ben… no, at Clockwork Chronology. His hair was a midnight blue akin to Luna’s own coat, and his coat was a much lighter shade of neon blue. In addition, he looked strangely metallic, as though his fur were actually reflective - Josh noted this quality in his own fur, now that he'd spotted it. Metallic Ponies. Probably Hasbro's idea of a marketing tool, or something stupid, he mused. His Cutie Mark was that same red gear-shape that vaguely resembled a skull.
“So… that’s what he looks like, huh?” Josh wondered.
“It would appear so,” Celestia agreed.
She knelt down by Clockwork, who was breathing gently. “Clockwork? Are you alright? This didn’t happen to Josh…” she worried, looking back at him.
Josh shrugged. “No idea. I did feel like I lost consciousness briefly, but I got back up in just a few seconds. Maybe it hit him harder?” he posited.
Celestia looked back at Clockwork worriedly. “Perhaps we should get him to a doctor,” she suggested.
Just then, there was a commotion at the door. Coxa burst onto the scene, breathing heavily as she stared at Josh.
“Friend? Is that you?” she asked, sniffing the air confusedly.
“Hey, Coxa,” Josh greeted, aware that he was now an alicorn and wondering how she had detected his presence. Maybe his scent hadn't changed, or something?
Chelicerae came bouncing in a moment later, tackling Josh as she nuzzled his neck. “You pony friend now!” she realized, snuffling at his face.
Josh laughed. “Yep,” he agreed, bumping a hoof with Chelicerae as he got to his hooves again.
“Josh, do you know these changelings?” Celestia asked.
“We met them in Ponyville, remember?” Josh reminded her. “They’re super nice.”
Coxa blushed and looked away. “Anyway, it is good to see you again, Friend. We were… worried,” she admitted.
“Worried about what?” Josh asked, raising an eyebrow.
“We saw you go in Castle of Friendship… we did not see you come out,” Coxa explained.
“Oh. Well, uh… I was visiting the planet I came from,” Josh explained.
Coxa tilted her head. “Planet?” she inquired.
Chelicerae raised her hoof. “I know! I know what planet is!” she announced.
Coxa looked curiously at her daughter. “What is planet?” she asked, a motherly smile tugging at her face as she watched her daughter’s excitement.
“Planet is big ball of rock and grass that we all live on, and it float in the sky! I learn it in school,” Chelicerae announced proudly.
“Right,” Josh agreed. “But I came from a different planet, from a different place in… the sky. It was a very long trip,” he joked, and Chelicerae giggled.
“Anyway… I must request the two of you swear to secrecy about all you have just heard and seen. No information of what is in this room must ever leave this room,” Celestia stressed.
Upon noticing her, Coxa dropped to a bow, Chelicerae attempting an uncertain one of her own. “We swear, Qu… Princess Celestia,” Coxa answered.
Celestia smiled and nodded, though the smile appeared a bit strained. “Thank you, my faithful subjects. I… trust you will keep this promise.”
Formalities exchanged, Coxa excused herself, pushing a reluctant Chelicerae out of the room.
“So, where can we find a doctor in this town?” Josh wondered, glancing over at Celestia again.
“The Ponyville clinic should be nearby,” Celestia mused, levitating Ben onto her back.
Luna lit her horn, and all of Josh’s stuff disappeared again, startling him. “He only seems to be knocked unconscious… but perhaps a checkup is in order,” the lunar diarch mused, checking over Ben.
They made their way out of the Castle of Friendship, Josh feeling the distinct change from when he had walked in here as a human. Every so often, he would spare a glance at Ben, wondering if his former best friend and newfound brother was okay. As they rounded a corner, Spike and Starlight appeared to be talking about something, freezing when they spotted the four alicorns.
“Princess Celestia and Luna! We didn’t expect… you… back…” Spike trailed off as he caught sight of Josh and Ben.
“Is that…” Starlight murmured, shocked.
Celestia nodded, and Luna pushed Josh forward so they could get a better view.
“Our returned sons… Prince Miracle Matter and Prince Clockwork Chronology. Though, it seems you have met them before…” Luna hinted.
“…Josh ? And Ben ?” Starlight queried incredulously, a visible red blush on her cheeks.
“Oh hey,” Josh spoke up. “I’m Josh, he’s Ben. Just so you know.”
Starlight appeared to be shocked speechless. “I… wow ,” she finally got out. “You… you’re hot .” Realizing what she said, Starlight whipped her hooves up to cover her mouth, blushing even more profusely. “I mean-! Um, uh I have to go !” she announced, fleeing.
Josh looked at Luna, and Spike looked at the group of them, equal looks of confusion on Spike’s and Josh’s faces.
“What?” Josh wondered, and Luna snorted in amusement.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but… yes, you’re actually very attractive for a stallion. I think this will be a common problem,” Luna teased.
Josh scrunched his face up. “Oh, goody ,” he muttered.
“I can kinda see it, I guess,” Spike mused, looking him over.
Josh looked over his body as well. No obvious flaws presented themselves, but he had no idea what constituted a ‘hot’ stallion and what made for an ‘ugly’ stallion. He’d never really cared about his looks, anyway, so why start now?
“Alright… I guess we’ll just continue on, then,” he sighed. Josh really hoped the Mane Six wouldn’t start hitting on him. That would just be awkward…
They entered the main atrium of the Castle of Friendship, where they found Starlight whispering into Twilight’s ear, both of them blushing.
“And then his…” Starlight trailed off as she caught sight of the four of them again. “Oh! Hello, again! I, um… she trailed off, looking around nervously.
As soon as she caught sight of him, Twilight fell silent, blushing even harder as her eyes roamed his body. The other Elements of Harmony, who were also present and sitting around the Cutie Map, had fallen silent as well, equivalent blushes present on each of their faces. Josh looked around in dismay.
“Okay, not having this. Whatever you might think, I’m not some sort of sexy god, and I demand to be treated normally,” he asserted, putting his hoof down imperiously.
This snapped the other seven out of their respective trances. “Oh… uh… right!” Twilight agreed, hesitantly smiling. “Yes, of course…”
The others murmured their respective agreement as well, but Josh caught on quickly to how they were still hiding their infatuation – a nervous twitch here, a surreptitious glance there.
He turned to Celestia. “Come with me,” he ordered, and Celestia complied, looking confused.
Once they were in the hallway, Josh spun around and faced Celestia.
“Make me less hot,” he demanded.
“What?” Celestia queried, tilting her head.
“You heard me! I’m not going to parade around as some sort of sex god , and I know you can use glamour spells. Now make me normal ,” Josh demanded.
“O…kay?” Celestia answered, still perplexed. She lit her horn, and Josh watched as his body glowed a familiar yellow.
“Did it work?” he asked.
“Yes, you now look… regular…?” Celestia wondered, staring at him.
“Okay. Thank you,” Josh huffed.
“If I might ask… why was that necessary?” the solar princess asked.
Josh sighed. “I just… I want people to listen to what I have to say because it’s right , not because I’m hot .”
Celestia nodded approvingly, catching on. “A wise decision. Though, any mare that decides to date you now is in for quite the good surprise,” she teased.
Josh merely groaned, making his way for the door. He wasn’t going to say anything to Celestia, but he also didn’t want to be part of one of those fanfictions.
He re-entered the room, and the Elements of Harmony plus Starlight and Luna once again ceased all conversation to look at him.
“…Oh…” Fluttershy disappointedly noted.
“I’m swearing you all to secrecy on this,” Josh warned. “As far as the public is concerned, this is what I look like.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “O…kay, then…” she answered. “So… Princesses… are we still going to hold the festival?” she asked, nervously looking at Luna.
Luna looked at Josh, who merely stared back. She looked back at Twilight imperiously. “Perhaps we shall have to change the title… but no matter! LET THERE BE CELEBRATIONS! ” she joyfully announced in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
The others immediately cheered, Pinkie being the loudest.
“I knew something was up when you two just happened to show up from the Everfree!” Rainbow Dash boasted.
“Sugarcube, ya didn’t even speak ta them,” Applejack ribbed.
“So, wait, you two really are Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology?” Spike asked. “That’s so cool !”
Rarity looked up at Celestia, Clockwork still on her back and sleeping. “Though, I must ask, Princess. Is Clockwork alright?”
Celestia dipped her head slightly, a worried frown slowly appearing on her face as the others rapidly stopped smiling at this. “He… appears to have taken the transformation a little worse than Miracle did. As far as we can tell, he is alright, but I think we should see a doctor, just in case.”
Pinkie popped up in front of her, stretcher and IV bag appearing from nowhere. “Well what are we WAITING FOR? We gotta get him to the clinic!” she announced loudly, pulling Ben off of Celestia’s back and speeding off into the distance.
Josh watched her go in concern. “…Is he going to be alright?” he wondered.
“Pinkie Pie would never let him come to harm,” Luna dismissed.
“All the same… I shall accompany her,” Celestia announced. “Good luck with the celebrations, everypony!” With that, she teleported, Josh blinking in annoyance.
“I really need to get used to that,” he muttered.
Twilight led him towards the Town Square, ponies staring once again as Princess Luna accompanied them. A secretary was waiting just inside the building, sweating nervously as she saluted the group.
“Hello, Pencil Pusher, how’s the first day on the job going?” Twilight politely asked.
“Great! Is the town under attack now? Oh, I didn’t think it would happen this soon…” Pencil Pusher moaned, straightening a saddlepack full of quills and notes frantically.
“Not to fear, squire,” Luna soothed regally. “There is no threat. We are merely here to… Princess Twilight, what are we doing again?” she asked.
“Making an announcement,” Twilight replied.
Luna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more, and Pencil Pusher let them through.
The Mayor’s office was small, and cramped with unfinished memos, strewn quills and an overflowing outbox. Mayor Mare, upon catching sight of them, hurriedly bowed.
“Princess Luna! And Princess Twilight too, whatever is the matter?” she worried.
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong,” Twilight insisted.
“…Oh. Okay… er… why are you here, then?” Mayor Mare wondered.
Twilight sighed, and stepped to the side, revealing Josh standing there awkwardly. “This is Prince Miracle Matter. He found his way back home a few days ago, and I wanted to make the announcement that he’d returned.”
Mayor Mare was flabbergasted for a moment, jaw dropping as she stared at him.
“Did the glamour spell fade off?” Josh whispered into Luna’s ear surreptitiously, watching her stare.
“No,” Luna whispered back.
“Um. Wow . I was not expecting that ,” Mayor Mare answered after a moment. “Anyway… of course! I’ll have the bell ringing in just a moment,” she answered. “Thank you,” Twilight answered, bowing to dismiss her.
“What’d she mean by ‘having the bell ringing?” Josh wondered.
“When we wish to make announcements, we ring the large bell on top of the bell tower. That way, ponies know that there is something important going on,” Twilight answered.
Right on cue, a series of deep bongs began to emanate from somewhere over the hills. Ponies immediately stopped what they were doing, swerving towards the Town Hall with a practiced step as they whispered to themselves.
“Best to get you out of sight now,” Luna noted to Josh. “It shall make for a more dramatic reveal.”
Josh rolled his eyes, but accepted her reasoning, and followed the two Princesses back into the Town Hall to wait.
It was only a few minutes before every pony in the town was gathered in the Town Hall once more, and they whispered to themselves nervously as they caught sight of Princess Luna and Princess Twilight flanking Mayor Mare, who also looked slightly uneasy.
“Ponies of Ponyville,” she announced. “Princess Luna has an important announcement to make.” Immediately, there was uproar.
“Is the town under attack?” one mare wondered.
“Are you going to cancel this festival too ?!” another stallion worried.
“NO!” Twilight shouted into the microphone over the din. “For the last time , NOTHING IS WRONG!”
Silence fell over the auditorium, and Twilight immediately blushed and stepped back.
“Then why are we here?” another mare wondered, and Josh suppressed a laugh from ‘offstage.’
Princess Luna cleared her throat. “Worry not, our loyal subjects, for we bring you tidings of great joy today!” she announced, though Josh noted she was using her normal voice. “This festival was originally to celebrate the memory of my son, Prince Miracle Matter, and my sister’s son, Prince Clockwork Chronology. But I am here to tell you that that will no longer be necessary,” Luna began, nodding to Josh. He slowly trotted onto the stage, fully aware that every single pony in Ponyville was staring at him. “For today, they have returned .”
Josh faced the audience, noting the complete silence of the room.
“Oh, hey,” he began, trying to sound casual.
But before he could continue further, there was a massive cheer from the auditorium, so loud and enthusiastic that he stumbled back, startled. Ponies everywhere were cheering for him, and the Elements of Harmony who were sitting in the front row seats were cheering too, as loudly as they could. Even Pinkie was there… somehow . Josh watched them all, wondering if he should feel embarrassed, excited, or confused. He felt… mildly amused by how happy they were for him. Odd.
Once the excitement had died down, he took Luna’s place in front of the microphone.
“So… turns out I got banished to another planet for a thousand years. Who knew, right?” he tried, grinning. The audience laughed appreciatively. “But you know what really sucks about suddenly becoming an alicorn,” he continued, warming up to his sudden and rapidly increasing talent as a comedian, “is that I have no idea how to use these wings.” The audience laughed louder, and Josh chuckled appreciatively. In for a penny, and all that. “I wasn’t even a pony before yesterday, so I also don’t know how to use my horn. Or my hooves. For those of you who have studied engineering, this of course means that there is only one option for me to get around.” Dropping to the floor, Josh promptly proceeded to roll off the stage, the audience howling with laughter as he made his exit. Rainbow in particular was pounding a hoof on the ground, nearly crying at his antics. Luna and Twilight were holding back giggles as well, polite smiles wobbling as they tried to contain their amusement. Mayor Mare had long since given up any pretense of regality, and was laughing with the rest of them. Josh trotted back onto the stage as the laughter quieted down, his audience obediently falling silent as he resumed his position.
“Anyway . I’m… kind of new to the whole ‘being a pony’ thing. That part wasn’t a joke. So… for those of you who were expecting me to be good at things, I’ve got some bad news.” More laughter, somewhat unsure this time. “But… wait, where am I going with this? We should be getting back to that week-long party ,” Josh mused.
Luna took this moment to step in, the audience laughing and elbowing each other as Josh stepped obediently to the side. “To that end, we propose that the festival continue – but now, to celebrate the return of Equestria’s Princes!”
The crowd erupted in cheers again, and Luna led Josh off the stage as Twilight and Mayor Mare began to announce changes to the schedule, some ponies filing out in disinterest now that the main event was over.
Josh sighed. “I lost my nerve, at the end,” he admitted.
Luna cuffed him on the neck with her wing. “Nonsense! You are a natural at public speaking. They loved you,” she proudly asserted, puffing up slightly in motherly adoration.
“So… should we go check on Clockwork, while Twilight figures out the new festivities?” he asked.
Luna nodded. “Good thinking,” she agreed, leading him away from the Town Hall.
They entered the Ponyville Clinic to find a familiar nurse staffing the front desk.
“Hello Princess Luna and Prince Miracle Matter, how may I help you?” Nurse Redheart inquired.
“We’re here to see Prince Clockwork,” Josh answered.
“Fourth floor, room 3A,” she answered.
Josh nodded, and proceeded towards the stairs, while Luna cast a confused glance at Redheart, who had already gone back to her paperwork at the desk.
“Does she not care that we are royalty?” Luna wondered as they made for the stairs, Josh struggling to position his body correctly.
“Celestia must have been in here earlier, so she was probably expecting us,” Josh answered. “Also, why was she still here, and not at the announcement?” he asked.
“If I recall, a certain pattern is used to denote an emergency summons for the town. Unless this pattern of bells is used, medical staff and their patients are exempt from answering its call,” Luna answered.
“Makes sense, wouldn’t want patients unattended,” Josh mused.
They finally made it to room 403A, where Ben sleepily regarded them from a hospital bed. “Hey… guys…” he sluggishly greeted.
“Is he okay?” Josh asked Celestia, who was also present.
She sighed. “He is… reacting strangely. As far as we can tell, his innate time magic has undergone some sort of change due to the spatial magic of the portal, and he is not taking it well. He is not in any serious danger, but the doctors estimate about a full day’s worth of recovery is required.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “And this didn’t affect me because I have space magic, not time magic?” he clarified.
Celestia nodded. “That would appear to be the case.”
They spent a moment watching Ben slowly go back to sleep, Josh drifting off himself.
“So… I guess I’m going to have to start calling myself ‘Miracle Matter’ now, to avoid confusion,” he noted.
Luna flicked an ear, giving him a dismayed look. “We can explain to the public, I do not think it would be much trouble,” she countered.
Josh shrugged. “Why bother? I’m okay with going by either name, I said as much earlier. So, ‘Miracle Matter’ it is.”
Luna paused a moment before hesitantly nodding. “If that is what you wish,” she answered.
“Hey, another question. Who’s going to teach us magic?” Josh… no, Miracle Matter asked seriously.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “We shall teach you magic. After all, we are very powerful and experienced unicorns,” she reminded him.
“Fair enough. When do we start?” Miracle Matter asked.
“As soon as you wish. If you like, I can teach you how to access your magic right now,” Celestia offered.
“…Okay,” Miracle Matter agreed.
A few hours later, he’d managed to complete his basic assignment of levitating a piece of paper. His magic flowed through him like an electrical current, tingling through every cell of his body and concentrating in his horn, which felt like the equivalent of licking a 9-volt battery.
“Very good!” Celestia cheered.
“Finally, I’m as competent as a small child,” Miracle Matter joked, watching the paper float in his orange-yellow magic.
“You have only been practicing for a few hours. Personally, I think you are a very quick learner,” Luna spoke up proudly.
“Alright… how long has it been?” Miracle Matter wondered, looking out the window and cracking his neck to either side.
Luna stiffened. “Goodness! I think it’s time to raise the moon. Sister, if you would?” she offered.
“Of course, Luna,” Celestia agreed, lighting her horn. The sun sped down from the sky like a crashing meteor, and the moon swiftly rose to take its place. Miracle Matter watched this with a lopsided frown, his eyes stinging slightly from the sudden change of lighting.
“That’s also going to take some getting used to,” he muttered.
With nothing else to do, they resumed waiting by Clockwork, who was acting… oddly. Occasionally, he’d appear to be still, frozen in a position. But upon closer inspection, he was moving – just incredibly slowly, and perfectly silently. His heart rate was essentially flatlining during this time, and more than one nurse came rushing in before they realized he was stable. Other times, he’d blink rapidly, moving his head from side to side to stare at them with such sudden intensity that they often jumped back, startled. His heartrate during these periods would spike far too high for any living creature to sustain, the usual steady beep, beep, beep sounding more like bebebebebebebebe… And, a rare few times, he would appear to be normal.
“It’s like playing with a video editor,” Miracle Matter whispered after an hour of this.
“If I could hazard a guess, his time magic is… not quite out of control, but varying quite wildly,” Luna posited. “Speeding up, and slowing down, completely at random. Let us hope he does not spend an eternity in one moment, or fast-forward a few years…”
Miracle Matter gulped nervously upon hearing this. Time was some weird stuff, and he was very glad he wasn’t in charge of it.
A nurse came in perhaps half an hour later, levitating a clipboard. “Okay, we’ve just received the results of the latest test. His inner magic is trying to fight off some residual magic that he somehow got on him – it’s almost like a virus , Princess. No matter what his magic does, the magic won’t go away, so his subconscious is getting pretty agitated about it.”
Celestia looked nervously over at her son, who was watching them, sped up again and blinking rapidly. “Is there anything that can be done?” she asked.
The nurse sighed. “Ordinarily, he’d heal on his own in a week or so. But considering a week could be any length of time for him…” she trailed off.
Miracle Matter studied his brother intently while Celestia and Luna exchanged a worried look. The nurse and the Princesses exchanged a few more words, but Miracle Matter was distracted by Clockwork, who had slowly raised a hoof to point at him. Miracle Matter raised an eyebrow, holding up his own hoof. Clockwork’s internal magic sped up again, and he began frantically trying to reach Miracle’s hoof, though the bed kept him from moving more than a few inches. Alarmed, Miracle rushed to his brother’s side, leaning over him.
“I’m here. What do you need?” he asked.
Clockwork had gone back to being slow, but his expression had taken on an almost pleading look, frustrated tears gathering in his eyes. Miracle Matter’s heart wrenched, and he wished he knew what to do. He closed his eyes shut, thinking hard for some kind of answer. Unfortunately, this caused him to miss Clockwork speeding up again, and his brother promptly grabbed him, wrapping his legs around Miracle’s neck and pulling him down into a hug. Miracle’s eyes shot open, shocked, and his horn lit up orange, even though he wasn’t casting any spell in particular. Clockwork’s lit up as well, and his heartrate returned to normal. Miracle became aware of Clockwork breathing heavily, as the Princesses and nurse had fallen silent.
“…Are you okay?” Miracle questioned after a moment.
“Y…yeah…” Clockwork panted, evidently exhausted.
“What just happened?” the nurse questioned, looking at the pair of them.
“It appears that Miracle’s magic somehow managed to stabilize Clockwork to this time frame,” Celestia mused.
“Wait… so all I had to do was touch him? Well, that was anticlimactic,” Miracle Matter muttered.
Celestia lit her horn, staring intently at the pair of them. “I see no reason for you to keep touching him. Clockwork appears to be normal now,” she reported.
Miracle cautiously moved away from Clockwork, who promptly sat up, looking around expectantly.
“So… it’s over? Thank goodness, that felt like hell !” Clockwork exclaimed, rubbing his sides.
Luna snorted. “I assume a ‘hell’ feels bad?” she questioned.
Clockwork looked at her suspiciously, then at Celestia. “I do not know what a ‘hell’ is either,” she admitted.
Clockwork shifted his gaze over to Miracle. “I guess… they don’t have those… words?” Miracle wondered, just as confused.
Clockwork rolled his eyes. “O… kay then. Anyway, can I go to the festival?” he asked the nurse, who shrugged.
“If Princess Celestia says you’re okay… I don’t see why not. You have a clean bill of health otherwise, so I’ll go check you out,” she answered, dismissing herself from the room.
“Hooray!” Clockwork cheered.
Chapter 11 - The Sleepover
They elected to sleep over at the Castle of Friendship, Twilight being delighted to finally have a sleepover with her mentors. So delighted, in fact, that she was quite literally bouncing off the walls, pronking in a most Pinkie-like manner as she listed out all the things they were going to do. Clockwork seemed into it, but Miracle simply yawned. Luna picked up on this almost instantly, and pointed a commanding hoof at a nearby bedroom.
“To bed with you,” she ordered.
“No, it’s okay, I can… stay up…” Miracle answered, stifling another yawn and shaking himself awake.
Luna appeared uncertain. “Alright, but at the first sign of being tired, you’re going to bed, mister,” she gave in.
“I’m always tired,” Miracle grumbled, but said nothing further.
They entered the dining hall to find the Elements of Harmony, Starlight and Spike had converted the room into a sleepover space. An inordinate amount of pillows were strewn about the room, and Miracle quietly suspected that every pillow in the castle had been rounded up for this sole purpose. Blankets and mattresses joined the fray, one half of the massive dining hall table being host to the majority of these. Finally, a number of books were present near Twilight’s claimed mattress, the most notable of which was “How to Host a Sleepover: Extended Guide.” Miracle smirked as he spotted this, and pointed it out to Clockwork, who stifled a chuckle.
“So, are we all ready?” Twilight asked excitedly.
“Twi, didn’t ya try usin’ that book before ?” Applejack prompted, as Twilight began leafing through the pages.
“That was the regular edition,” Twilight answered without looking up. “This is the extended edition - it has over twenty new ideas for games we can play!”
Starlight shared a knowing look with Spike. “Alright, how about we start off with… a game of Truth or Dare?”
Rainbow grinned evilly, revealing a bottle she had been holding. “Wayy ahead of you, Starlight. Alright, let’s get this party started !” she exclaimed, placing the bottle on the ground as they gathered in a circle.
Rainbow spun the bottle with a hoof, and everyone watched as it spun around, before finally settling to point at Rarity. Rainbow looked at her with a secretive grin.
“Truth, or dare?” she asked.
“Truth,” Rarity answered daintily.
“What did you say to me about Miracle Matter when you saw him?” Rainbow asked, shaking with laughter.
Rarity blushed, and looked away. “I… oh, fine! I said… ‘I wouldn’t mind taking him into my private dressing room,” she admitted, scrunching up her face in dismay as she looked at Miracle.
Surprisingly, Miracle gave no reaction, simply shrugging.
Rainbow looked at him in consternation. “You’re not…” she began.
“Nah,” Miracle answered.
“Hrmmm,” Rainbow mused thoughtfully, narrowing her eyes at him.
“My turn, darling,” Rarity interrupted, spinning the bottle with her magic. It settled on Miracle Matter, who gazed down at it impassively.
“Truth or dare, Prince?” Rarity inquired innocently.
“Truth,” Miracle automatically answered.
“Of the seven of us, which would you rate the most attractive?” Rarity asked. The others leaned in to hear his answer.
Miracle Matter paused a moment to think. “Aesthetic beauty isn’t really my thing, so I’m going to have to go with Twilight. She’s cool,” Miracle noted.
Twilight blushed scarlet. “T-thanks,” she mumbled.
“Oh? What about Twilight attracts you?” Rarity asked curiously.
“She’s nerdy and not afraid to do some mad science,” Miracle answered with a straight face.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “So you find intelligence attractive?” she queried.
Miracle shrugged. “Sure, I guess? It doesn’t exactly turn me on, but it usually makes for an easy topic to talk about,” he explained.
Rarity seemed disappointed, but made no further comment. Miracle reached out a hoof and lazily spun the bottle, barely managing a single revolution before it landed on Starlight.
“Truth or dare, Starlight?” Miracle inquired.
“Dare,” Starlight said bravely.
Miracle thought for a moment. “Hmm… Kiss the pony in the room you like the most.”
Clockwork looked over at him angrily. “Miracle!” he exclaimed.
“Whaat?” Miracle complained.
“Stop shipping your new friends!”
The entire circle burst into giggles.
“Do I have to?” Starlight asked, after the giggling had died down.
“Nah, I’ll think of a new one. Uh… sing the silliest song you can think of,” Miracle Matter suggested.
Starlight blushed, muttering “that’s not much better…” under her breath. She breathed in, steeling herself, and began singing. “I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout!” she sang, and Miracle tried very hard to keep himself from laughing.
After she had finished, Starlight sat down with a thump , hurriedly spinning the bottle with her magic. It landed on Princess Celestia, who regarded it with some amusement.
“Truth or dare… Princess?” Starlight asked, smiling uncertainly.
“Dare,” Celestia answered to gasps all around the room.
Starlight swallowed nervously. “Dance,” she answered. Miracle cracked up, and Luna looked at her sister devilishly.
“Well? Time to put those yoga lessons to use,” she teased her older sister, and Celestia blushed.
“Well, if you insist…” she muttered, before standing up.
What followed next could only be described as the most inspired short dance any of them had ever seen. Celestia gracefully kicked through the air, twirling with her wings as she effortlessly balanced on one hoof. She spread her wings next, launching herself through the air and flipping over before landing silently into a bow and twirling around three times, wings flaring out as she finished.
“How was that?” she asked her audience, all of whose jaws had hit the floor.
“Whoa…” Rainbow muttered.
“Ya’ll never told us you were that good , Celestia!” Applejack cheered.
“Oh, stop, that wasn’t that good,” Celestia mumbled, blushing and looking away. She spun the bottle with her magic, blushing and hiding her face behind her voluptuous mane.
The bottle landed on Luna next, whereupon Celestia smirked and stuck out her lip at her older sister. Luna eyed her suspiciously.
“Truth or dare, Lulu~?” Celestia inquired innocently.
“Truth!” Luna answered imperiously.
“Did you or didn’t you steal the last cookie from the royal bakery yesterday?” Celestia asked.
The room fell silent, waiting on bated breath for Luna’s answer.
“Oooohhhh snap,” Clockwork quietly commented.
“I did not,” Luna answered, and Celestia looked surprised.
“Oh? Then who did?” she asked.
Luna smirked. “One question per turn, Celestia,” she replied, and Celestia pouted as Luna spun the bottle.
Luna turned to Miracle. “My captain of the guard did it for me,” she whispered, and Miracle grinned.
The bottle landed on Fluttershy next, and Luna appeared nervous.
“Truth… or dare… Fluttershy?” she asked carefully.
“Oh, my… um… can I pass?” Fluttershy squeaked.
“Sure,” Miracle Matter answered. Luna appeared relieved.
“Only if you want to lose !” Rainbow Dash objected. “Come on Fluttershy, you can do it!”
Fluttershy looked between her and Miracle, seemingly making a choice in her head. She looked over at Luna. “Dare,” she answered bravely.
Luna regarded her appraisingly. “Say something unkind about me,” she finally decided, and Fluttershy swallowed nervously.
“Um... you have a long… face?” she squeaked, hiding under her mane.
Miracle laughed. “Yeah, Luna, why so blue ?” he teased, and Luna giggled, Fluttershy looking surprised.
“What was the point of that?” Starlight asked.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t the whole point of ‘daring’ someone to make them do things they rather would not?” she answered. Starlight considered this, finally accepting it with a shrug and a roll of the eyes.
Fluttershy reached out and gently tapped the bottle, somehow managing to provide enough force to shift it one pony over to Pinkie.
“T-tru-truth… or…” Fluttershy trailed off. She didn’t seem to be able to get the words out.
“Perhaps we may move on to another game?” Celestia gently prompted.
Twilight nodded. “Right, right! Okay, the next one is… scary stories! Anypony want to go first?” she offered.
“Miracle, don’t you know a lot of scary stories?” Clockwork prompted.
Miracle raised an unamused eyebrow at him, recalling the many fanfics he’d read. “Not ones that can be spoken in polite company,” he answered pointedly.
“Oh, come on, this isn’t ‘polite company’!” Rainbow whined.
“Yes, dear, go ahead!” Rarity encouraged.
“Oh, fine,” Miracle answered, rolling his eyes. He wasn't about to recant any of the darker fanfics he'd read, that would just be weird . So, instead, he opted to tell a story he'd first heard back when he was a tiny little Cub Scout.
“…When they found the body, in the morning, the physician pronounced that he had been strangled. But something was off about the marks on his neck. The physician declared ‘Why, it looks like he’s been strangled by a skeleton!’ But the judge knew better. Those claw marks on the man’s neck… they reminded him of that dead, chained black hand. And sure enough, when he looked over to the spot on the wall where the hand had rested, enchained… it was gone ,” Miracle dramatically finished.
Everypony in the room screamed, laughing it off a second later as they realized the story was over.
“Wow, that was a good one!” Applejack remarked.
“Ugh, now I’m scared of hands…” Starlight muttered.
“Good luck finding one on this continent,” Miracle reminded her, and she chuckled.
“So, what’s next?” Clockwork asked.
Twilight consulted her books. “Pillow fight?” she suggested.
“Yeah!” Pinkie agreed enthusiastically, pulling out a pillow and smacking Rainbow Dash in the face.
Luna and Celestia smiled at each other.
Clockwork shrugged. “Sure, why not?” he answered, trying to pick up a pillow with his teeth. When that didn’t work, he tried to use his horn, succeeding only in making a spark at the tip. Finally, he gave up, and sat down in frustration. “…Or not,” he muttered.
“Don’t worry bro, I got this,” Miracle announced, levitating a pillow lazily in front of him. With a flick of his horn, he tossed it at Fluttershy, barely managing to lightly caress her hooves with the pillow.
There was a moment of silence as everypony observed the poor attempt at a throw.
“No offense, but, um, that was weak,” Fluttershy pointed out.
Miracle simply smiled at her. A moment later, the pillow shot up, lifting her off the floor with a floomph before settling back down, Fluttershy gently floating down with her wings and looking startled.
“Gotcha,” Miracle drawled, and Fluttershy gave him a surprisingly competitive smile as she grabbed the offending pillow in her mouth.
The pillow fight was brief, but intense. Celestia and Luna mostly focused on each other, barrages of pillows appearing from seemingly nowhere as they weaved and dodged. The others mainly fought amongst themselves, Rainbow and Applejack paying special attention to each other until Rarity interrupted the two with dainty pillows of her own, applied directly to their faces. Starlight and Twilight were locked in a battle of their own, pillows teleporting around the room as the two contested. Pinkie popped out at random, surprising everyone with an unavoidable smack of cotton before disappearing into mundane objects like conveniently placed cups like a Whack-a-Mole. To everyone’s surprise, Miracle wasn’t demonstrating his usual lethargy, fending off attacks in all directions as Clockwork sat behind him. Occasionally, he would slip and get hit, but anyone who tried to land a hit on Clockwork found themselves blocked, even when approaching from behind. Luna, who had been watching this, made a mental note of it before resuming her fight with Celestia.
As the pillow fight finally wound down, everypony was lying exhausted on the floor.
“Wow… that was the most awesome pillow fight I’ve ever had…” Rainbow commented.
Spike laughed. “You should see what happens when Shining Armor gets into it. He takes it seriously .”
Celestia smiled. “I’d expect nothing less from my former Captain… which reminds me. Miracle, you were… well, I hate to phrase it in such a manner, but you were surprisingly good at blocking and parrying.”
Miracle shrugged, an impressive feat considering he was laying down. “Meh. I don’t think it was any real skill. I just… knew where the pillows were, and where they were gonna be.”
Luna looked over interestedly. “Spatial memory is a possible outlet of your talent, so that is not out of the question…” she mused.
“Anyway… anything to do next, Twilight?” Clockwork spoke up.
Twilight sighed. “At this point, I think we might as well go to sleep,” she reluctantly admitted. “Most studies say that continuing the sleepover past this time of night results in adverse events due to sleep deprivation.”
Rainbow grumbled. “Can you say that again, in regular speak?” she demanded.
“Ponies get tired and then they start acting weird,” Miracle translated.
“Oh. Yeah, that seems about right. G’night, everypony,” Rainbow announced, rolling over and promptly falling asleep.
Twilight doused the chandelier that had been lighting the room, plunging the converted dining hall space into darkness. Miracle laid back on his bed, closing his eyes.
As soon as the lights turned off, a figure outside the house blinked, staring at the now-dark window. Without another word, it flitted away into the shadows, intent on completing its report.
It arrived at the designated meeting space. “As the moon flies,” it spoke into the shadows.
“The sun flees,” came the reply, the correct countercode causing the drone to relax slightly. “What news?” the voice demanded without further preamble.
“Important news. The suggestion worked – I have information on his romantic preferences.”
Two viridian eyes opened, slanted in contemplation. “And?” it prompted.
“He does not prefer aesthetic beauty, instead opting for personality-based choices. Intelligence is not a turn-on, but he seems to prefer it nonetheless. It seems at least one of the Elements is attracted to him, possibly more, though he does not share their feelings. He does not shy from innuendo, even about himself. Indeed, he seems rather lax to the topic of romance in general, much like his usual attitude.”
The eyes bobbed up and down, which the drone took as nodding. “Anything else?” it asked.
“My Queen… there was a glamour spell over him, a very strong one. It took me some effort, but I managed to look through it.”
One eye became wider than the other. “Is he still attempting to look ‘human?’” she hissed.
“No… my Queen. He is… er…” the drone trailed off nervously.
“Well? Is he ugly? Flawed? Insecure, perhaps?” the Queen suggested.
“No…” the drone answered, scuffing a hoof.
“Out with it,” the Queen demanded.
“My Queen… it is far worse than we feared.”
“He’s super hot.”
Chapter 12 - The Festival, Part I
They awoke in the morning to find sunlight gently filtering in through the windows. Celestia and Luna were already up, Celestia having ventured off to parts unknown while Luna elected to simply cuddle up next to Miracle. Still mostly asleep, Miracle snuggled into the new source of warmth, Luna smiling contentedly as she laid her head atop his.
“Miracle…” Clockwork began, but a look from Luna silenced him. Miracle, for his part, appeared content, flicking one of his hind legs as he continued to slumber.
“Aww, so cute,” Pinkie gushed.
Immediately, Miracle bolted upright, startling Luna. “Where is the cute thing? ” he demanded. “I must see it!”
Everypony else laughed, and Clockwork gently slugged him on the shoulder. “It’s you! You’re the cute thing!” he answered, and Miracle fake-gasped in realization as Luna laughed at his expression.
The group ate breakfast, Spike happily doling out pancakes to each plate as he walked on, not around, the table.
“So… what should we do today?” Clockwork asked.
Luna daintily cut a slice of her pancakes, flashing Celestia a knowing smile. “Would you like to go to the festival, now that you are alright?” she suggested.
“Oh yeah, that,” Miracle remembered. “Odd to think that there’s a week-long festival about us.”
Celestia tittered. “We already have the Summer Sun Festival, the Winter Moon Festival, Hearts and Hooves Day, and Friendship Day – why not?” she replied. Miracle noted with interest that there was, in fact, a Winter Moon Festival.
“Anyway… sure? I just… I hope we aren’t going to be mobbed by fans, or something,” Clockwork muttered.
“We can post some Guards to protect you, if you like?” Celestia offered.
Clockwork seemed worried. “Well, then we’d look too distant ,” he muttered.
“I don’t think anyone will try anything in front of most of the Equestrian royalty. Why don’t we just stick together?” Miracle countered.
“…Agreed,” Celestia mused.
“This sounds like a great idea! I have the entire festival schedule written down here,” Twilight spoke up, levitating over a piece of paper.
Miracle tilted his head to try and read it upside down, noticing the plethora of events. There were more than ten per day, on average… how was anyone able to visit all of them?
“We’ve got to try the hula hoops, those are so cool,” Starlight exclaimed.
Miracle and Clockwork looked at each other – they both had remembered their experiences with the festival in Canterlot. “They are cool,” Miracle agreed, and Starlight raised an eyebrow.
“Have you… seen them before?” she inquired.
Miracle nodded. “We were there for the first day of the festival, as humans,” he explained.
“Oh, right…” Starlight remembered.
The other Elements of Harmony departed to their daily activities, leaving Spike, Starlight, Celestia, Luna, Twilight and the two brothers to figure out what to do.
“Huh, everyone seems really into this…” Miracle noted, looking around at the crowded streets.
“Uh… those don’t look like Ponyville ponies…” Twilight noted.
“Is that… is that Sapphire Shores?” Luna inquired, pointing out a mare off in the distance.
“But isn’t she supposed to be in Manehatten right now? What is going on?” Starlight wondered.
“Is it me, or does Ponyville seem… full ?” Spike noticed, looking around.
True enough, every shop was filled, every table encircled. There was so little space to sit or move anywhere, in fact, that the trickle of ponies walking down this street were quickly turning into a crowd.
“Huh. Hey, Twilight. When you made the announcement last night… how long did you think it would take for word to spread across Equestria?” Miracle asked.
“Not… not this fast,” Twilight answered, nervously looking around. “Oh, I hope we have room for this, Ponyville’s never had to deal with this many tourists…”
Clockwork raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t your castle have, like, five billion unused bedrooms?” he reminded her.
Twilight blinked, then smiled. “You’re right! I can easily handle the overflow from any hotels.”
They made their way slowly through the town, and every time somepony spotted the group they would run over, excitedly gushing at the returned Princes about how happy they were now that the two were back.
“No, really, thanks, it means a lot,” Miracle answered the latest of these, an excitable mare who he was doing his best to fend off. As she happily bounced away, he turned to Twilight. “I hate to stop our festival tour before it starts, but… can we go somewhere less crowded?” he pleaded.
“Of course,” Twilight answered.
There was a flash of light, and a moment later Miracle found they’d been teleported to the middle of a park. Even the park was crowded, fillies and colts happily playing while their parents watched, but it was less so than the street.
“…Better,” Miracle accepted, Clockwork still trying to adjust to teleportation.
Just then, they heard a voice in the background. “Celestia! Oh, it has been too long,” Discord greeted, making his way over.
“Hello, Discord,” Celestia answered neutrally.
“Greetings, Lord of Chaos,” Luna added.
“Hi, Discord,” Twilight and Starlight greeted, staring at him as neutrally as Celestia.
“Hey,” Miracle lazily attempted a greeting.
“Who’s this ?” Discord noticed, staring down at the pair of them. “Could these be the alicorns I’ve been hearing so much about?”
Miracle rolled his eyes. “Nah. They’re over by Sugarcube Corner, you just missed them,” he joked.
Discord grinned. “Oh, I like you. You’re Miracle Matter, right? Pinkie tells me you’re quite good at comedy,” he noted.
Miracle shrugged. “When I need to be,” he answered.
“Hmm. And you must be Clockwork Chronology! Pleasure to meet you again,” Discord offered his paw, Clockwork hesitating and glancing at Miracle. Miracle nodded, and Clockwork shook with Discord, the latter looking (or at least pretending to be) excited.
“So… Discord… why are you here? That is, why were you in the park today?” Celestia asked, still maintaining a neutral tone.
“Oh, you know, just introducing myself to all these new ponies. After all, what better way to make friends than to go where there’s a whole bunch of them?” Discord explained.
“Alright, I’ll ask. Best prank of the day?” Miracle inquired.
Discord crossed his paws, scrunching up his face and closing his eyes. “Hey! I’ll have you know that I am a hundred and ten percent reformed, thank you very much!” he indignantly retorted, before opening one eye to wink at Miracle. “Though, if I must pick, that noblemare with the hair made of pudding was pretty funny.”
Twilight glared at him. “Discord!” she accused.
“What? I put it back to normal,” Discord replied irritably. “Honestly, she was such a bore . Going around and insulting everything about this ‘dumb hick town.’ I swear, if I hadn’t intervened, somepony else would have . And besides, now she can really claim ancestry of Chancellor Puddinghead!”
Twilight grumbled, but decided to let it go.
“Okay, so, what’s first on the list?” Miracle asked as Discord sauntered off to ruin some other noble’s day.
“First is… ooh! The anti-gravity chamber!” Twilight exclaimed.
Clockwork and Miracle immediately perked up. “Anti-gravity?” they replied excitedly in unison.
“When’s it open?” Miracle begged.
“In just about ten minutes. Want to go? If we hurry, we might get a good spot in the line!” Twilight enthused, leading them onward.
Miracle and Clockwork excitedly bounded forth, while the others followed some distance behind, knowing grins on their faces.
“This is so cool !” Miracle exclaimed for the tenth time as he jumped all around the room, bouncing off of walls as he fought to keep his momentum under control.
“Hey, look out!” Clockwork called, colliding into him a second later. Miracle laughed, and pushed off of his brother, sending him and Clockwork in opposite directions. They bounced around for a moment more, Miracle trying to do tricks but failing in the low gravity conditions.
“Okay, I think it’s time to stop, everypony else probably wants a turn,” Clockwork called, standing on the ‘correct’ floor.
Miracle sighed, and somersaulted down, landing with a gentle thump . “Aww… maybe we can come back later,” he wistfully sighed as the operator unicorn outside the room resumed normal gravity. He’d been having fun , too.
Next were the hula hoops, which sent Starlight and Twilight into stitches as they watched Miracle try to use them. Clockwork, meanwhile, was effortlessly dancing with them, the younger foals enraptured as he grabbed a hula hoop and pulled it away from its counterpart, effectively bisecting himself. To their surprise, he incorporated this into the dance, rolling one hula hoop around the other and laughing with glee as the upper half of his body spun around. Miracle watched him go, handing off his hoops to a waiting bystander and getting disoriented just looking at Clockwork’s fun.
“I really wish I could do that,” he muttered to Luna, who shrugged.
Due to all the time they had spent waiting in lines, it was now time for lunch, which they elected to take at Sugarcube Corner. They barely squeezed through the door, ponies parting for their royalty to enter. This was less out of respect and more due to Celestia’s size compared to the others, making her easy to spot over the crowd.
“Oh, my!” Mrs. Cake called, spotting them immediately. “Pinkie, your friends are here!” With that, she made her way over and bowed low, apron falling onto the floor as she genuflected.
“Arise, my faithful subject,” Celestia responded warmly, the others noticing the bakery had fallen silent. “Today, I am merely celebrating like the rest.”
Mrs. Cake nodded hastily. “O-of course, Princess! What would you and yours like?” she asked.
Miracle looked at the menu, trying to discern things he would be able to eat. Hay was right out, as were gemstones… wait. Wasn’t he a pony now?
“I think I shall have a scone, chocolate chip if you have it,” Celestia decided.
“Chocolate donut for me,” Clockwork added.
“Ditto!” Twilight and Starlight chorused.
“I’ll have... a donut as well,” Miracle added, chickening out.
"Can I have a ruby cupcake?” Spike asked Twilight, who nodded.
“Of course. One ruby cupcake as well, thank you,” she added, and Mrs. Cake finished writing down their order.
“Thank you, it’ll be at your table in just a moment!” she trilled, disappearing into the back.
A moment later Pinkie was there, hoofing out plates, forks, and knives. “Wowee, we’re busy today! I’ve never seen the ovens so packed !” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Hope you guys are getting some breaks,” Clockwork worried, exchanging a look with Miracle – they both knew the horrors of working retail.
Pinkie laughed. “I don’t need a break, silly! I’m having a ball !” With that, she threw a ball up in the air, Gummy the alligator appearing from precisely nowhere a moment later to catch it in his toothless mouth before bouncing on it right up the stairs and out of sight.
“If you say so, Pinkie. Hope to see you later!” Twilight called as Pinkie zoomed away to deal with some other customer.
To the surprise of Miracle and Clockwork, their food arrived just a minute later, Pinkie carefully but quickly passing each of them their chosen dishes.
“I hope they’re as yummy to you as they are to me!” she cheerfully quipped, speeding off again.
Celestia mildly chuckled, looking around the table. “To family?” she proposed.
“To family,” they toasted, clinking glasses together.
Luna noticed Miracle did so with a reluctant tone of voice, giving him a worried look as he quickly set it down. Noticing her glance, he bumped her hoof under the table, giving her a furtive smile. Relieved, she resumed eating.
A few minutes later, Twilight had insisted to pay for the meal, refusing the Cakes’ polite reassurances that it was quite alright, and they were royalty. That done, the group headed out once more.
“Anything up next?” Clockwork asked. Twilight checked the schedule.
“Nothing for an hour or so. Want to head back to the park?” she asked.
“Sure,” Miracle answered, and they began making their way across Ponyville, ponies once more turning and staring at the sight of them.
After a few more incidents with overexcited fans, they found themselves back in the park, where Twilight promptly spotted Discord performing mischief and hurried over to stop him, Starlight following after a moment.
“Dear me, I think we’d better go over there too. Would you two mind staying here a moment?” Celestia asked the pair of them.
“No, we’ll be fine,” Clockwork dutifully answered, and the Princesses trotted over to talk to Discord.
“So. How’s being a pony going for you?” Miracle asked once their mothers were out of earshot.
“It’s so… weird. Did you notice all the sugar in our lunch? That can’t be normal,” Clockwork worried.
Miracle gazed up at the sun. “Ponies probably have a higher sugar-intake diet than humans do.” He sighed, closing his eyes. “Being famous is going to suck ,” he muttered. “Everyone’s going to be lining up to see us, touch us… well, that’s normal for you, at least,” he ribbed.
Clockwork snorted. “At least it was just because my sweater was the fluffiest sweater and everyone in the school wanted to feel it. Now, they probably want to feel us up more than our clothes .”
Miracle shivered. “Don’t remind me. It was bad enough when I was apparently ultra-hot,” he reminisced.
“What ?” Clockwork queried incredulously, and Miracle chuckled.
“Oh yeah, you were asleep. This is actually a glamour spell, the real me is apparently so attractive that it sent most of the Elements of Harmony into a catatonic stupor.”
Clockwork began laughing. “You’re lying!” he accused, and Miracle laughed back.
“I swear, it’s true! Ask Celestia, she casted the glamour spell!” Miracle retorted.
“Oh, wow, it’s the Princes!” a voice spoke up from beside them, and Miracle reluctantly looked over, annoyed at the interruption but putting on a smile regardless.
“Hey,” he greeted the mare in front of him. “What’s up?”
She had a dark teal coat, with perfectly straight and strikingly green hair that perfectly accentuated her lime-green eyes. “Nice to meet you,” she greeted casually, already a far cry from the gushing enthusiasm of everypony else. “I’m Jade Heart, I study neuroscience at the University of Baltimare. I heard you were a scientist, as well?” she asked.
Miracle’s heart leapt at the chance to talk to a scientific equal. “Y-yeah,” he answered, hating himself for stuttering. “I study inorganic chemistry, mostly, and engineering.”
Jade nodded interestedly, taking a seat next to him. “What’s your favorite element?” she asked.
“Bromine, definitely,” he answered, and began regaling her with the tale he’d told Luna just a few days ago. She listened, enraptured as he described his mishaps, near-death experiences, and eventual success, laughing at all the right points and gasping at all the others.
“Wow, you’re pretty lucky!” she noted, once he’d finished.
Miracle laughed. “Yeah… I’ve learned better, since then.” He neglected to mention that he’d gotten chemical burns just last month from making some very similar mistakes to his fourteen-year-old self. “So, what about you?” he finally queried. “What do you study in neuroscience?”
Jade blushed, and looked away. “Nothing so interesting as your experiments. I study the chemistry of the brain’s emotional receptors, with particular attention to the amygdala and the limbic system.”
Miracle nodded, somewhat following along. “Sounds hard. Any particular problem you’re trying to solve?” he asked.
“No, just interested in the system,” Jade answered, sounding nervous for some reason.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with curiosity for the sake of curiosity,” Miracle soothed.
“Thanks,” Jade answered, relieved. “Anyway, I’d better get back to my friends. See you later!” she called out, quickly leaving.
A moment later, Celestia and Luna trotted back onto the scene, looking curiously at the retreating mare. “Who was that?” Celestia wondered.
“A neuroscientist from the University of Baltimare. This festival sure is drawing all types, huh?” Miracle noted.
“Indeed it does. That said, would you be alright with making another public appearance? I believe it would be very beneficial to your reputations if all these tourists got to see what they came for,” Luna inquired.
Miracle looked at Clockwork. “Ready to be on stage again?” he asked.
Clockwork grinned. “I’m always ready,” he answered.
A short distance away, Jade Heart looked around suspiciously before turning invisible. Stupid, STUPID! You had him in the frog of your hoof, you could have practically asked him to marry you there and then, why’d you have to chicken out?! She chided herself, growling. A small filly looked around for the source of the noise, and she hurriedly stopped. I’d better head back , she decided. No sense sticking around longer if I don’t have to. She headed for the town, becoming visible once more as she lit her horn.
A few hours later, Miracle and Clockwork were once again waiting ‘offstage’ in the Town Hall, which had been magically expanded to three times its former capacity with the help of Celestia, Luna and Twilight. Even still, it was completely packed, with the rest of the tourists being forced to wait outside as magically projected images of the announcement would be played on the outside walls of the Town Hall.
“Where’d you get that idea?” Miracle had whispered, upon Luna’s explanation of this.
“From your television,” she answered. “It seems useful, and the magic is quite similar to projecting illusions and dreams in mine own realm.”
Miracle had shrugged, and accepted this – hopefully one day, he’d understand how magic worked.
This time, there was no speech given by the two – they were merely asked to come out, receive applause, and leave the stage again. Miracle wasn’t sure if Celestia and Luna merely wanted to put on a more ‘formal’ showing for the reporters and journalists that were undoubtedly beginning to swarm in, or whether they had something else in mind, but he elected to roll with it as usual. They left the stage, to the same tumultuous applause as before, and Clockwork paused a moment to wipe his brow with his hoof.
“That was… a lot more nerve-wracking than I remember,” he huffed.
“The audience was a lot bigger. But hey, it’s over now. Good job,” Miracle praised.
Just then, a Guard ran into the room, stomping their hoof once in some sort of signal as the other Guards rushed to join them. As soon as the last guard had disappeared, a reporter hurried up to them from around a corner, quill and paper already out as she paused a moment to catch her breath.
“Silver Quill, with the Cloudsdale Report – would you like to answer a few questions?” she asked hopefully.
Miracle and Clockwork looked at each other, and then back at the stage, where Celestia and Luna were answering questions of their own. It looked as though they’d be a while.
“…Sure,” Miracle answered. “Go ahead.”
Silver Quill excitedly squealed, trotting in place. “Great! Okay, first question. Are you really from another planet?” she asked.
Both of them nodded. “It’s called ‘Earth.’ Nice enough place, at least where we live,” Clockwork answered.
Silver Quill wrote something down. “Earth, huh? Sounds neat. Okay, next question: Do either of you know who your father is?” she pressed.
Clockwork was about to answer something, but was nudged viciously by Miracle. “I’m afraid we are not qualified to answer that question,” he spoke up, already hating himself for playing this game.
Silver Quill appeared crestfallen, but perked back up a moment later. “Fair enough, fair enough. Okay, third question: Were you two natural-born alicorns, or ‘ascended’ in a means similar to Princess Twilight?” she asked.
Clockwork gave Miracle a look. “...We don’t know,” Miracle finally admitted. “We have been alicorns for as long as anyone can remember.”
Silver Quill nodded excitedly, writing their answers down furiously. “Good, good. Well, thank you for taking the time to answer these questions! You’ve been very… cooperative,” she remarked, causing Miracle and Clockwork to exchange a worried look as she hurried off.
Clockwork turned to Miracle Matter. “I think we may have made a mistake,” he noted.
“Agreed. Now, what do we do about it?” Miracle wondered.
Silver Quill hurriedly trotted out of sight, ponies looking at her suspiciously as she ran away from the most important announcement of the century. She turned into an alleyway, activating a crystal hidden in her saddlebag. There was a moment of delay.
“What news?” the voice on the other side hissed, sounding irritated. “I’m in a meeting with someone!”
She nodded, acknowledging this - it was often unwise to drop the pretense that her employers' time was more important than hers. “I am sorry, but I just finished the interview, and wanted to relay it to you while the memory was fresh, your Majesty.”
The figure on the other end paused, any irritation vanishing as they eagerly gripped the crystal, holding it closer to them. “Go on,” it demanded.
“They do not know if they are ascended or natural-born alicorns. They were unwilling to say who or what their father was, which made me think they do not know. They are indeed from another planet,” she listed off.
The figure frowned. “It seems they’re a bit more politically savvy than I’d hoped… still, I think this is enough to work with. You may expect your payment by mail.”
Silver Quill bowed once more, grinning. “Thank you very much , your Majesty,” she answered sincerely.
“You’re welcome. Never contact me again,” the voice demanded, and the crystal promptly shattered.
Silver Quill chuckled as she imagined the riches she’d obtain in short order – and all for the price of three questions ! It had been a cinch to slip past the Guards patrolling the Town Hall, they never expected a pegasus like her to have an invisibility cloak on hoof – and those two clueless little Princes had never even suspected that she wasn’t allowed to be back there. And now, she’d get to retire somewhere nice. Maybe even one of those nice tropical islands? Filli sounded good this time of year.
Silver Quill turned to exit the alleyway, only to find her way blocked by what appeared to be several ordinary mares and stallions.
“Can I… help you?” she asked, wondering if she’d been caught.
They chuckled evilly, more appearing on the rooftops, and Silver Quill quickly realized she’d been surrounded somehow. What did all of them want with her? Unless... maybe her correspondent wouldn't be paying her after all!
“You… you’ll never get away with this! The Royal Guard will stop you! GUARDS!” she screamed out.
The mare in front of her smiled evilly. “They’re far too slow… and so are you, if you thought you could outwit us.”
There was a flash of green fire, and a terrified scream, and by the time the Royal Guard arrived, all they found was an empty alleyway, with a few shards of crystal littering the ground.
“What was that?” Miracle asked, still behind the stage.
“Sounded like a scream.” Clockwork paused, worried.
“Maybe we should get a guard to check it out?” Miracle wondered. He paused and looked at one of the nearby Guards, who had returned, and the Guard he was looking at saluted before galloping off.
“…Wow. I forgot, we can actually give ponies orders ,” Clockwork remembered. “Meh. Let’s try not to abuse that kind of privilege,” Miracle dismissed, turning back to face the stage. If the two of them had been looking at the Guards, they would have noticed a very slight, but unmistakably relieved slump of the shoulders.
As soon as Celestia and Luna rejoined them, Miracle bumped Luna’s withers.
“We may have made a mistake,” Miracle admitted.
“I thought your performance was excellent,” Luna soothed, and Miracle shook his head.
“Not that. There was a journalist mare, who came backstage while the Guards were off doing something else. She asked us a few… pertinent questions, and I have a feeling our answers might cause some backlash.”
Celestia and Luna hummed, worried. “There weren't supposed to be any journalists allowed back here. Which newspaper was she working for? Perhaps we can review the article to be printed,” Celestia mused.
“Cloudsdale Report,’ according to her,” Clockwork answered.
Celestia and Luna exchanged a worried look. “Clockwork,” Celestia began carefully.
“There is no such paper as the Cloudsdale Report.”
Chapter 13 - The Festival, Part II
They returned to the Castle of Friendship, ponies quickly clearing the streets and reporting back to their hotels as the day concluded. Twilight noticed a gathering of ponies in front of the Castle of Friendship, and quickly hurried over to get them situated for the night, while the rest snuck in via teleportation. They retired to their respective rooms, where Miracle and Luna shared a laugh as Clockwork was forced to allow Celestia to brush his teeth for him.
“Don’t worry, levitation’s easy, I got the hang of it in a few hours,” Miracle called over.
If Clockwork could have replied, the look he was shooting Miracle implied quite a bit of profanity.
Finally, they snuggled up in their beds. “Hey, how much longer does the Festival last?” Miracle asked, looking over at Luna, his temporary roommate.
“I believe there is just one more day,” Luna answered.
“And then… we go back to Canterlot,” Miracle trailed off, sighing.
“Is there something wrong?” Luna asked.
“I dunno… it’s just… this festival has been a really nice break from having to think about being a prince,” Miracle admitted. “I’m worried that as soon as we get back to ‘regular’ life around here… I’ll fail to meet everyone’s expectations.”
Luna smiled over at him. “You have already far exceeded mine,” she replied quietly.
There was a moment of silence, as Miracle didn’t know what to say to that.
“Miracle? May I tell you a secret?” Luna asked, after a moment.
“…Sure,” Miracle responded, rolling over to face her fully instead of staring up at the ceiling.
“I… I hope you will not take this the wrong way… but… When you were younger, you were… very headstrong,” Luna began, swallowing nervously.
“Sounds about right,” Miracle agreed, surprising her.
“And… you were quite violent. But now, you’re so laid-back, so… cool … I am proud to say that you have much improved since we last were together.”
Miracle smiled. “Oh, come on, you’re just saying that because you’re my mom,” he dismissed.
Luna pouted. “I am not!” she retorted indignantly. “I meant what I said in the castle a few days ago – I am proud to call you my son, and I would be just as proud to call you my friend!”
Miracle sighed. “I… I know. I just… it’s hard to believe.” Luna fell silent.
“Then I shall have to provide indisputable evidence,” she responded after a moment, and Miracle grinned at the joke.
As he drifted off to sleep, his grin faded, however. “Good luck with that,” he whispered.
The four of them got up, and readied themselves for another day at the festival. As Miracle watched Luna put on her shoes and peytral, a thought occurred to him.
“Hey, what colors are our jewelry going to be?” he wondered.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Whatever colors you wish,” she answered.
“Okay… so, Celestia and Cadence have gold and pink, Twilight has purple, you have light blue…” Miracle trailed off in thought.
“Perhaps this discussion is best saved for when we get back home – for now, let us enjoy ourselves!” Luna encouraged, practically dragging him out the door.
The crowd had lessened considerably since yesterday, though the streets were still more crowded than they had any right to be. “Since today’s the end of the festival, most of the attractions are closing down,” Twilight informed them. “But, there are still a few that are open!”
She led them to what looked to Miracle like a miniature House of Mirrors, with a sign saying “Mirrors of Time” written overhead.
“These depict what you’d look like if you were older or younger,” Twilight explained.
Curious, Miracle tried one, saying “1 Year Ago.” To his shock, he saw his human self in the mirror, looking back at him with the same confused expression. Fortunately, it seems his human counterpart was wearing clothes.
“Whoa, check it out!” Clockwork noted, stepping into the frame. At the same time, Ben stepped into the frame on the other side, staring at Josh just as Clockwork was staring at Miracle.
“Huh. So, it somehow knows what we looked like?” Miracle noted.
He moved to another, which said “At Birth.” Miracle smiled as he gazed down upon his infant pony self, looking pudgy and adorable. His baby blue eyes had not yet dulled to grey, and the fuzz of red-orange hair on his pudgy, younger face gleamed a brilliant copper.
Finally, he moved to the next, which simply stated “Adjustable.” There was a knob set into the mirror, and Miracle curiously turned it. He saw his human self, getting younger and younger… then nothing. Miracle turned the knob more quickly, and still nothing showed on the mirror. Just the blank canvas tent behind him… He gave the knob a full clockwise turn, wondering how far back he’d have to go to reach his foalhood self. A thousand years, right? To his surprise, his younger self suddenly appeared, though… he could have sworn… but no, he very clearly was a regular alicorn foal. Miracle turned the knob the other way, and there it was again ! Just for the tiniest fraction of a second, his frame had turned darker – not much more he could make out.
“Um, Luna?” he asked, calling her over.
“Yes?” she answered, looking curiously at his younger self.
“When I… disappeared… I wasn’t burnt alive , was I?” Miracle hesitantly asked.
“Goodness, no !” Luna exclaimed. “Whatever made you think that?!”
Miracle scuffed a hoof awkwardly. “Well, it’s just… if I turn the knob like this…” he demonstrated, and he could see Luna catch the flicker of darkness pass over his younger self as well.
She studied it intently, turning the knob this way and that, trying to focus on the image. Finally, she gave up. “Perhaps this mirror was not calibrated properly for a thousand years of age,” she wondered. “Pay it no mind, Miracle, it was likely just a magical error.”
She led him over to the exit of the tent, and Miracle reluctantly followed, glancing one last time at the mirror with the knob on it. There had been something about it… something important… though he wasn’t quite sure what.
As soon as they exited the tent, a secretary pony Miracle vaguely recognized came trotting up, a few papers in mouth. “Princess Twilight? Mayor Mare sent me to find you, there are some important ordinances about the festival cleanup-“ the secretary began as Twilight stiffened.
“Oh, no, I completely forgot about the cleanup effort! I’m so sorry, everypony, I’ve got to go organize!” she excused herself, rushing off.
Clockwork watched her go with a grin. “That mare…” he trailed off, trying not to laugh.
Celestia watched her go as well, a motherly smile on her face. “She’s quite the hoofful sometimes… but she does know how to organize. Anyway, we still have the schedule. Shall we look around for some more exhibits?” she offered. Everyone grunted in general agreement, and the four of them set off once more.
As they traveled through the town, looking for leftover exhibits to do, Miracle spotted Coxa and Chelicerae seemingly relaxing in the park, Chelicerae running around with a stick in her mouth and swishing it at leaves, seemingly pretending it was a sword.
“Hi, Coxa!” Miracle called out.
Coxa looked over curiously, and smiled as she spotted the pair of them. “Friend Miracle! How are you?” she asked, carefully pronouncing her last three words.
“I’m well, thank you. And you?” he asked.
“I am well,” Coxa answered. She then turned to Princess Celestia and Luna, and bowed low. “Greetings, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” she intoned.
“Greetings… Coxa,” Celestia reluctantly returned, surprised by something.
“Have you been feeding well?” Clockwork asked, taking a seat beside Coxa as he watched Chelicerae play around.
Coxa nodded. “Princess Twilight insist on break yesterday. Tell me I am ‘overworked.’ Chelicerae no have school… so I bring her here. This what ‘parents’ do, yes?” she asked, looking at Miracle uncertainly.
Miracle nodded. “This is what parents do,” he agreed, and Coxa smiled in relief.
“Good. Chelicerae is getting plenty of love off of her school friends. I have been feeling well ever since you stopped by,” Coxa added.
“Glad to hear it,” Miracle returned.
“Friends!” Chelicerae shouted, having finally spotted them, and leapt into Miracle’s legs for a hug.
“Good to see you too, kiddo. I see you have a stick!” Miracle announced dramatically.
Chelicerae nodded, waving the stick all around. “Someday I become big Guard!” she explained.
Miracle grinned and nodded. “You will be the best Guard, ever,” he proclaimed, and Chelicerae beamed at him, the stick still held between her teeth as she joyously showed off her fangs.
“Coxa!” a changeling called, flying above them before crash-landing into the grass. “You supposed to be on books!” Coxa snarled, immediately losing her motherly smile as she raised her hackles.
“Orders from Princess Twilight, ‘take day off!’” she retorted.
“Princess Twilight too nice to you! Just because you have a grub…” the changeling grumbled.
“What did you say?” Coxa demanded, getting into a fighting stance.
Chelicerae watched between the two in dismay, sad that her playtime had become so serious. Miracle, upon noticing her expression, cleared his throat, causing the two changelings to glance over and notice the four alicorns looking at them with stern expressions. The other changeling paled as they noticed the Princesses, and dropped low to a bow.
“My apologies, Princesses, I… I…” it stammered, as the full weight of its defiance hit it.
Miracle stood, and raised an eyebrow. “New orders from Prince Miracle Matter,” he intoned imperiously. The changeling awaited its punishment, unwilling to look at him as it trembled. Miracle placed a gentle hoof on its withers. “Come relax with us for a moment. You’re clearly stressed,” he softly finished.
The changeling looked up, looking as though it hardly dared to believe its luck. “N… no punishment?” it asked disbelievingly.
Miracle nodded. “We are all friends here.” He smiled as the new changeling slowly, uncertainly got to its hooves, cautiously moving over to take a seat beside him. “What is your name?” Miracle inquired.
“I am Pharynx,” she introduced, sounding as though she too had memorized this greeting.
“Nice to meet you, Pharynx. Is your job going well?” Miracle asked. He could feel Celestia’s and Luna’s eyes on him, though whether in approval or another emotion he couldn’t tell.
“The job is… going slow. We try to finish at least two hours before Twilight gets back from errands, but somepony took all the pillows and placed them in one room. Took us hours to replace them,” Pharynx explained.
Miracle stiffened. “That was our fault,” he admitted. “We were having a slumber party. I believe, if you explain this to Twilight, she will say much the same, and you will be exonerated for falling behind schedule.”
Pharynx nodded uncertainly. “And if not…?” she wondered.
“Then tell Princess Twilight to take it up with me,” Miracle answered.
Pharynx tilted her head. “You would speak… on behalf of us?” she wondered.
“He is Friend,” Coxa spoke up quietly. “He and his brother fed us when we asked.”
Luna stiffened beside Miracle. “You fed a changeling?” she asked him.
Miracle nodded uncertainly.
Luna seemed smug for some reason, but said nothing more, to Miracle’s consternation.
“…Anyway, I want to be your friend as well, Pharynx,” he continued after a moment.
Pharynx looked at him suspiciously. “You… are not afraid of us,” she observed.
Miracle raised an eyebrow. “Why should I be?” he rebutted.
Pharnyx seemed at a loss for words.
They rested there for a moment more, Pharynx seemingly wanting to say something but stopping herself. Chelicerae elected to rest as well, stick still in mouth as she curled up beneath Coxa, who nuzzled the nape of her neck proudly. Clockwork looked over the schedule, whereas Celestia and Luna simply opted to look pretty, smiling at passersby and giving nervous looks to Coxa, Pharynx and even Chelicerae when they thought nopony was looking. Finally, after a few minutes, Miracle stood up, stretching.
“Welp. I guess we’d better finish off the day, huh?” he remarked to the others.
“Of course,” Celestia readily agreed. “It has been nice meeting you two. Good luck with your duties!” she dismissed Coxa and Pharynx, who nodded and saluted once before flying off somewhere else, Chelicerae reluctantly dropping the stick as she protested leaving the park.
“Alright, uh… there’s not much left, around this time, but this thing Discord set up looks kind of cool,” Clockwork announced.
“Discord set up an attraction?” Celestia wondered, looking at the schedule again.
“Apparently it’s some kind of… house tour? Except the house is all weird, and defies the laws of spacetime and physics. A lot of ponies were talking about that one earlier,” Clockwork explained.
“Well, now I am interested in what he has wrought,” Luna mused.
“Where is it?” Miracle asked.
“Location is… ‘anywhere,’” Clockwork noted. “How does that even-“ he stopped, bumping into a wall, and looked up in confusion. There, suspended improbably in midair, were a set of stairs, leading to a single door, simply floating in the sky.
“Cool,” Miracle noted, and began to make his way up the stairs.
He opened the door, Celestia, Luna and Clockwork behind him in apprehension, and stepped into a grassy meadow. A door was on the other side of the meadow, and a sign next to the door. The sign said “Welcome to Discord’s Wacky Spacetime Emporium! Don’t forget to sign the guestbook.” Miracle looked around, not seeing a guestbook anywhere. Perhaps it was at the end of the tour?
“’Discord’s Wacky Spacetime Emporium?’ Is that really the name?” Clockwork questioned.
Miracle snorted. “I get the feeling it’s going to be accurate. So, are we ready to start?” he asked.
Celestia and Luna looked at each other, then nodded. They opened the next door.
Immediately, they were greeted with what appeared to be a solid, gelatinous mass of blue, the meadow instantly shifting to dunes of sand below the strange liquid substance. Miracle stepped through it, able to breathe and move around freely despite seemingly being underwater.
“I think… we’re at the bottom of the ocean?” Miracle remarked, the others looking around in wonder and confusion.
“How curious… I did not detect any magic allowing us to breathe or walk,” Luna noted.
“Maybe this is an alternate reality, and we are actually just superimposed onto it?” Celestia theorized. They walked through the ocean, staring around as fish swam right through them.
“Fascinating,” Luna commented as a shark lazily drifted past. “Discord has truly created an artful work.”
They found the next door, leading them to step out into an expanse of blackness. All around them were little twinkling lights, and it took them a moment to realize they were stars .
“We’re in space !” Clockwork cheered, whirling this way and that to gaze at everything he could. Josh looked at the ‘floor,’ which appeared to be an invisible platform.
“How strange…” he muttered as he tapped a hoof against it, trying to determine what material it might be made of. It wasn’t metal, or wood, or stone, as near as he could tell. Giving up, he followed the others, following their gaze to stare off at a distant, familiar planet.
“So that’s Anima, huh?” Miracle inquired as he looked at it.
“Indeed,” Celestia agreed. “But to see it from this distance… it is so beautiful ,” she choked, suppressing a tear.
Miracle tried to see what she was seeing, to spy some profound beauty in the planet he now called home. It was very different than Earth, with the Sun and Moon clearly visible and noticeably smaller than the planet they orbited around. But try as he might, his gaze was pulled away every time by the stars. They were vast, numerous and unmoving, looking for all the world like the stars back home.
“Luna?” he asked after a moment.
“Yes?” Luna replied curiously.
“When you move the stars in the night sky… do you actually… move all of them?” he wondered.
“Nay,” Luna denied.
“I merely shift the light coming from them so they appear moved. I may also scatter the light to produce images like comets, nebulae, or galaxies, if I so desire,” she explained.
“Fascinating…” Miracle Matter murmured.
They lingered in the space room for a lot longer than they did in the others, gazing about them in naked wonder at the majesty of the stars.
“This is so cool ,” Clockwork commented for the fourth time, peering at a group of stars below the floor.
Miracle quietly agreed. Up here, nopony cared about princes and ponies, about the daily struggle of mortal life. The stars were eternal, quiescent, unyielding as they continued shining their light into the darkness, unhindered by such petty concepts as ‘love’ or ‘good’ or ‘evil.’ Miracle made a mental note to be more like these stars someday.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, they managed to gather enough wits about them to realize how long they had been dawdling. They made their way forward, to where the next door was waiting, floating seemingly unanchored in space. Miracle opened it with his magic, curiously stepping forward into the next area.
To his surprise, it was nothing more than an ordinary lobby room, a few ponies milling about and excitedly discussing the rooms they’d seen. Listening in on some of the conversations, Miracle deduced to his surprise that each group had received a different set of rooms, unique to them. There was a guestbook in the center of the lobby, on a table, and Miracle trotted over to this slowly. He picked up the quill in his magic, and in his usual sloppy writing, wrote:
“Princes Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology, and Princesses Celestia and Luna.”
To the right of this, there was a section for comments. Miracle thought for a while, before simply writing:
“Thank you.”
That done, he rejoined the group, and they stepped through one final door.
They reappeared in the exact same location they had left, ponies stopping to stare at the four royals arriving out of a door to nowhere before realizing where they had come from.
“Well, that was certainly something,” Celestia commented. “I shall have to commend Discord on his excellent exhibit.”
Luna nudged Miracle Matter, smiling. “It seems you liked it too, judging by your expression,” Luna teased.
Clockwork looked over and snorted. “I think he liked it a little too much. He’s going to be silent like that for a while.”
Miracle, in his head, was still lost in that expanse of stars, staring out at the endless pinpricks of light. He didn’t know why, but the feeling he was currently experiencing… it felt so… familiar . Like those stars were old friends of his, come to visit after years of silence. Maybe someday he’d understand this feeling. But for now… he was content to even feel it at all.
As they walked through town, Luna gasped and pointed at what appeared to be the Mirrors of Time exhibit.
“What has happened?” she asked, rushing over to it.
Miracle followed, still too dazed to realize what was going on. As Celestia and Clockwork caught up, they too stared openmouthed.
The entire exhibit had been wrecked, mirrors smashed, and the tent ripped in multiple places. The adjustable mirror in particular had been completely destroyed – the knob was missing, the glass had been shattered instead of merely cracked, and the frame had been broken into multiple places.
“Who would do such a thing?” Celestia wondered in quiet fury. “These were timeless artifacts – indeed, the knowledge of making them has been lost! Why would anypony treat them like – like this?! ”
She realized she was shouting, the resident ponies of Ponyville glancing at her fearfully, and Celestia made a visible effort to calm herself down.
“Alright. I shall talk to Princess Twilight, and we shall see if she has any information on who could have done this,” Celestia decided.
“Wow, an exhibit got sabotaged ,” Clockwork remarked, bumping Miracle in the shoulder. “This is getting pretty exciting, huh?”
Miracle continued to stare off into space, muttering “Yeah” as his only response.
Clockwork rolled his eyes. “I’ll… tell you about it later. Come on, Josh, we’ve got stuff to do,” he decided, dragging Miracle along.
As they arrived at the castle, they immediately noticed Twilight, Luna and Celestia having a hushed discussion around the Cutie Map.
“…And you’re sure it was one of them?” Luna was asking.
“The magical signature matched one of theirs within a very good tolerance,” Twilight assured. “Though, I’ve no idea why they would decide to betray us in such an openly callous manner.”
As they spotted Miracle Matter and Clockwork Chronology, Luna and Celestia hastily adopted less serious expressions. “Are you two ready to leave?” Luna asked, without preamble.
“Leave? Now? That’s rather sudden,” Clockwork noted.
“Well, it’s just… we have worked out that the sabotage of the exhibit was caused by… a certain group… that we wish to avoid,” Celestia carefully explained.
“It’s the changelings, isn’t it,” Miracle spoke up, surprising them.
Luna swallowed nervously. “…Yes,” she admitted. “Specifically, the ones in this town. It seems one of them is still loyal to the Queen, after all,” she added.
Miracle shrugged. “I figured as much,” was all he said.
“…So… do we really have to go?” Clockwork asked reluctantly.
Celestia sighed. “I am afraid we have no other choice. I cannot afford losing you two again to… well, you’ll be much safer in Canterlot.”
Clockwork sighed back, but agreed, and Miracle agreed to leave as well, though his mind was still on other subjects. Most notably, that he had been being watched by changelings for… quite a while now. Why? What could they want with him? It couldn’t just be that he was being friendly to their kind – Thorax had already hopped on that bandwagon far before he could. Was it because he was an important political figure, who had suddenly appeared? No, that wasn’t sufficient justification to spy on him like this. So, then, why…? Miracle looked up, and realized they had somehow walked to the train station in the time he had been thinking. He elected to shelve this train of thought for now, and concentrate on not acting like an antisocial zombie.
The five of them, Princess Twilight included, politely waited in the busy line, slowly moving forward as the train in front of them filled up.
“Four tickets to Canterlot, please,” Twilight asked.
“That’ll be 16 bits,” a hoarse voice answered them.
“Ticket Ride?! Wow, you look… tired,” Twilight noted as she winced at the sight of him.
Ticket Ride looked as though he hadn’t slept for days , the bags under his eyes enough to send lesser ponies away screaming.
“Yeah… it’s okay, though, the boss told me I could take a week-long break after this…” Ticket Ride explained, accepting Twilight’s money and pushing four tickets through the slot.
Twilight winced again as she led the four of them over to the train. “I didn’t realize he’d be handling most of the traffic through Ponyville,” she sadly noted. “I’ll have to send him a gift as some sort of thank-you.”
Celestia nodded. “After what I saw of that young stallion’s face… that would be most wise. Goodbye, my fellow princess! May luck and fortune smile upon you,” Celestia stated, bringing her faithful student in for one last nuzzle.
“Goodbye, Princess Celestia, and you as well!” Twilight returned.
“May the stars watch over you,” Luna formally intoned as she stepped onto the train, Twilight nodding.
“Hey. Take care of yourself out there,” Clockwork added as he too stepped onto the train.
“You too, Clockwork!” Twilight warmly agreed.
Finally, all that was left was Miracle Matter, who gave Twilight a look. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he felt compelled to say this:
“Spare them. There is more to this story than you think.”
Twilight appeared unsure how to react to this, and after a moment, Miracle seemed to come to himself, stepping onto the train.
As Miracle slowly came out of his daze once more, he realized he was sitting on a comfy, wide train seat. Indeed, it was the exact same spot he had been in on his first trip to Canterlot, though it had been too small and not well padded back then. Sighing, Miracle drifted off.
One and a half hours later, they arrived in Canterlot, a squadron of both Day and Night Guards saluting as they stepped off the train. Luna had raised the moon from the train, Miracle watching with some interest as the massive lunar body sped upwards. Miracle followed the other three off the train, carefully avoiding tripping over the gap between it and the platform.
“Make way! Make way for royalty!” a Guard called out, directing the crowds around the trains away from the four of them as though he was Moses parting the Red Sea. Miracle and Clockwork cringed at the extravagant sight, but there was no time for comment, as they were quickly surrounded on all sides by a contingent of Royal Guards, spears at the ready.
“What, uh… what’s going on?” Miracle asked Luna.
Luna looked at Celestia suspiciously. “Yes, sister, what is going on?” she repeated, a hint of accusation in her tone.
“I thought we could use some extra… protection, this time around,” Celestia answered carefully.
“And what of the public? Surely they will wonder and fear as to why their Princesses are being escorted by fully armed Guards?!” Luna exclaimed.
“Not now, Lulu,” Celestia stressed, as a few Guards looked at the four of them before being shoved back into place by their neighbors. “Wait until we get to the castle, then you can lecture me all you like.”
Luna grumbled something, but decided to heed her advice.
As they walked into the castle, Miracle noted how much taller everything seemed. The murals and throne room that he had dismissed just days ago as too small now seemed grand and imposing, the door that had formerly been about his height feeling like a huge, metal-clad barricade as they passed through it.
“This place got bigger, huh?” Miracle whispered to Clockwork, who nodded as he looked around.
“Not too big, I hope?” Luna asked as Celestia led them towards her room.
Miracle shook his head, and Clockwork followed suit after some hesitation.
To Miracle and Clockwork’s surprise, Celestia led them away from her own room, instead going towards the neighboring tower.
“What’s this?” Clockwork wondered, staring up at the building.
“This,” Celestia began happily, “is your new room!” She opened the door with a flourish.
Inside, Miracle immediately noticed that the entire room was split down the middle by the flooring. On one side, the floor was made of marble tiles, while the other was carpeted. A stack of blank papers was neatly placed on a desk on the side with marbled flooring, along with Miracle’s laptop and a bunch of his other stuff. On the other, Clockwork’s stuff mirrored his, complete with the same desk. Two beds faced each other, set on opposite walls. Atop his bed, his Cutie Mark had been cut out of copper metal, and welded onto the bedframe, which also looked to be made of copper metal – or, at least, copper-colored. Clockwork’s bed was much the same as his, but made of an unidentifiable blue metal and depicting his Cutie Mark on top.
“What metal is that?” Miracle asked curiously, poking at it. Perhaps it was some kind of magical metal that only existed in Equestria?
“Tis’ blued steel,” Luna answered.
Miracle promptly felt like an idiot.
“So… do you like it? I had it made while we were at the festival,” Celestia explained.
“It’s…” Clockwork trailed off.
“Too clean,” Miracle finished grumpily.
Luna burst out laughing, and Celestia stifled a giggle. She lit her horn, and immediately the stack of blank paper on his desk cascaded to the floor.
“Better?” the princess of the sun teased.
Miracle smiled, and pulled the two Princesses into a hug, shocking both of them. “Much better,” he answered.
Once she had recovered, Luna beamed and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m glad you like it,” she whispered.
As they clambered into bed, Miracle and Clockwork paused a moment to stare at each other. In just the space of a few days, they’d gone from humans to ponies, from college students to princes, from two best friends to actual brothers. Miracle flopped backwards on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Clockwork?” he spoke up.
“Yeah?” Clockwork answered quietly.
“It still sucks that we’re white people,” Miracle joked.
“OH MY GOD. MIRACLE. GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW ,” Clockwork pretended to shout, stomping a hoof against the foot of his bed for emphasis.
Miracle laughed, and rolled over, closing his eyes. Maybe tonight he’d actually get a proper amount of sleep for once.
As Miracle woke up the next day, he became aware that his side of the room was still comfortably dark. It seemed the window above his bed had been positioned in just such a manner that the sunlight filtering into the room landed on the opposite side, hitting Clockwork’s bed. Speaking of which, his brother’s bed was empty, indicating Clockwork had gotten up some time ago. Grumpily, Miracle sat up, clambering out of bed as he wandered off to find the rest of his new family. Apparently, he'd actually managed to sleep late.
He found that they were in the throne room, in the middle of what appeared to be a political standoff. Celestia was squaring off against Blueblood, her stance furious and aggressive compared to Blueblood’s smug voice and posture. Miracle listened in.
“-know perfectly well that this was not the case for Princess Twilight, and you made no objections then!” Celestia thundered.
“Princess Twilight lives in that hick town Ponyville,” Blueblood dismissed callously. “As with Cadance, the Canterlot law does not apply to her and you know that.” Celestia appeared at a loss for words, and Miracle decided to step in.
“Morning, everyone. Blueblood, I see you’re embarrassing yourself as usual,” Miracle snarked.
A few of the Guards stifled chuckles, one even doing a dry spit take as his head whipped around to stare at Miracle.
“Ah, you must be Prince Miracle Matter! A… pleasure to meet you, child,” Blueblood sneered.
“You do realize I’m twenty years old, right? Calling me a child just makes you sound extremely old,” Miracle pointed out.
Blueblood appeared taken aback. “Twenty ?” he queried in disbelief, then quickly rallied himself. “All the more reason my contest stands! These two must have suitors, under the law of Canterlot!”
Miracle raised an eyebrow. “A suitor?” he deadpanned.
“It means ‘lover,’” Blueblood explained dryly.
“I’m aware,” Miracle returned, putting Blueblood’s formerly dry tone to shame. “Why do we need suitors?”
Blueblood cleared his throat. “This law was passed approximately six hundred and seventy-three years after the disappearance of Nightmare Moon,” he informed Miracle, who waited impatiently for this walking trash can to finish spouting his political nonsense. “It was enacted in order to prevent the royal line of Equestria from being foalless, in a time when the population growth was significantly less than what it is now. The law states that any member of the royal bloodline who has attained their Cutie Mark must be married before their thirteenth birthday, or, if their Cutie Mark was attained after such time, precisely one year after they receive their Mark,” Blueblood recited.
“That sounds stupid and no longer necessary,” Miracle commented.
Blueblood turned up his nose. “I wouldn’t expect you to discern the nuances of Her Majesty’s political decisions-“ he began, but Celestia cut across him.
“And my word is not set in stone, Blueblood. I am allowed to change my mind as the circumstances develop,” she huffed.
Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “Change your mind all you like. I doubt you can change the Council’s mind so easily,” he shot back. “And, given that it has been a thousand years since they got their Cutie Marks, I think it will be no trouble at all to convince the Council to lower the deadline to one month from now.”
Clockwork looked at him worriedly. “Why are you doing this? What possible gain can you have from this?” he wondered.
Blueblood scoffed. “I am not doing this for gain , you simple-tongued moron. I am merely upholding the law ,” he stressed. Miracle saw red.
In an instant, Blueblood found that he had been teleported into the air, the swords adorning the suits of armor in a nearby hallway having been teleported to point at him in midair. Miracle walked up to him, a furious expression.
“I don’t know what you’re after, or why you’d bother to do this,” he whispered, face inches away from Blueblood’s as the walls around him seemed to flicker and fade in and out of reality. “But I will promise you this, Blueblood. If I find you to have any ulterior motives for this, the punishment my parents have in mind will be nothing compared to the torture I will devise for you. Your existence itself will be forgotten by all who you hold dear, and you will fade to nothing but a memory in my eyes. Do you understand?” Miracle whispered, eyes glowing white with power. Blueblood nodded, terrified. Miracle released both him and the swords from his levitation spell, the blades clattering to the ground as Blueblood scrambled to his feet.
“That son of yours is a menace!” he spat at Luna, who had been taken aback by the sudden violence. “He should be locked up for assaulting a fellow member of royalty! I will not let this slide, colt ,” Blueblood announced, though his voice shook slightly as he backed away, heading for the exit. “You have made a powerful enemy today!”
Miracle raised an eyebrow, unperturbed. “As have you,” he pointed out. Blueblood huffed angrily one last time, and disappeared.
The moment he was gone, Luna turned to Miracle in alarm. “What was that ?” she exclaimed, then hastily composed herself. “Er, I mean, I can understand why you were perturbed, but-“ she stammered, but Miracle cut her off.
“Nobody gets to hurt Clockwork. Nobody ,” he stressed angrily.
Luna swallowed nervously, then nodded, giving a nervous smile. “It is… good that you are so protective of your brother,” she tried.
Miracle finally managed to calm himself down, taking a few deep breaths, and sighed, giving his mother an apologetic look. “I just… I’ve seen what Blueblood does. Both in this universe, and in… others,” Miracle reminisced, a haunted look coming to his eyes as he recalled the many depictions of Blueblood in fanfiction, the vast majority of which could genuinely qualify as ‘evil.’ “I won’t let him hurt my bro.”
Clockwork patted him on the withers awkwardly. “Hey, don’t go all Sans on me just yet,” he chided.
“What, am I supposed to wait until you’re all dead , like he did?” Miracle retorted.
Clockwork sighed. “Just… promise me you won’t kill anybody,” he pleaded.
Miracle grumbled and looked away, and Clockwork continued to look at him insistently.
Finally, Miracle gave in. “Okay,” he muttered. “I won’t kill anybody.”
Clockwork nodded, satisfied.
Meanwhile, a Guard quietly slipped out of place, heading for a nearby unused bedroom. “I have news, my Queen,” he whispered urgently to the empty bedroom.
There was a moment of silence, then Queen Chrysalis materialized before him, eyes slitted. “I was thinking,” she hissed in rebuke, and the drone fell silent, terrified. “But I see your news is urgent. What is it?” she reconsidered a moment later.
The drone bowed low, its disguise slipping away in a flash of green fire. “This may come as no surprise to one as intelligent as you, my Queen. But… I have just learned that the one called ‘Miracle Matter’ is much more protective of his brother than we had initially thought.”
Queen Chrysalis snorted. “I’m well aware of the circumstances that have led him to this. But, tell me – what specific event clued you in?”
The drone swallowed nervously. “Prince Blueblood, during his attempt to force the two of them to find partners to marry-“ He was cut off by Chrysalis quite literally turning green, rage frothing from her mouth.
“HE DID WHAT?!” she screeched at the top of her lungs. The drone immediately made hushing sounds, casting a glance at the nearby door, which Chrysalis regarded with contempt. She took a moment to compose herself. “Go on,” she growled. Fearing for his life, the drone hastily complied, making a mental note to never bring this up again.
“Following… that , he made some small insult at Prince Clockwork Chronology,” the drone began. “Miracle Matter-“ Chrysalis immediately glared at him. “-my apologies, my Queen, Prince Miracle Matter immediately attacked him, levitating him and several swords into the air while threatening to erase him from existence,” the drone reported.
Queen Chrysalis mulled over this in silence. Finally, she smiled. “His overreaction changes nothing,” she decided. “And, if those awful Princesses go through with this attempt of Blueblood’s… this could actually work to our advantage,” she considered, her smile turning into a satisfied grin.
“M-my Queen?” the drone stammered, caught off guard by her satisfaction.
“Return to your post,” Chrysalis commanded. “I must return to my contemplation.”
Without another word, the drone fled, leaving the Hive Queen to her machinations. She crossed to the window, turning invisible without effort. “I have already given the order not to touch Prince Clockwork, and to protect Prince Miracle. But perhaps… perhaps I had better extend my ‘protection’ to the both of them,” she considered, grinning deviously.
The four alicorns ate lunch in silence, Luna pausing every once in a while to look over at Miracle Matter. Miracle was picking at his food disinterestedly, fully aware that Blueblood was also in the room and tense as a coiled whip because of it. Clockwork, meanwhile, was looking nervously at Miracle, perhaps wondering if he would make a scene again. Princess Celestia was glaring silently at Blueblood, seemingly daring him to make a move under her watchful eye.
A fresh tray of drinks came out, with most of the table looking at the large tray in surprise. There were mutterings of ponies asking each other if they’d ordered any new drinks, to which the answer was almost unanimously ‘no.’ Miracle, who had requested more water earlier, merely waited for the tray to come to him, as did Blueblood, who had apparently ordered a glass of wine. As the waitress approached Blueblood, she suddenly and dramatically tumbled, cascading head over hooves as most of the drinks spilled directly onto Prince Blueblood, soaking his suit and causing him to yelp in surprise. Blueblood looked up at the waitress, furious, but to everyone’s surprise she was already moving on, neither bothering to apologize nor slowing down. She set down the single surviving drink, a lone glass of water, in front of Miracle’s plate.
“Your water, sir,” she announced, and then gave the four of them a wink as she hoisted her now-empty tray atop her back once more.
Miracle grinned at her, pleasantly surprised. “Thank you,” he replied sincerely.
She nodded and smiled back, and exited the room, a small sashay of her skirt indicating just how unrepentant she was for her earlier mistake.
Miracle Matter watched her go, then turned to Luna. “Give that one a promotion,” he requested. “That took moxy .”
Luna laughed out loud, and Blueblood stormed out of the room, dripping wet and furious.
Meanwhile, Chrysalis cast the tray off to the side, turning it invisible with a flick of her horn and herself shortly afterward. She stifled a chuckle – it hadn’t been particularly helpful to her plans… but it had felt so good to see the look on Blueblood’s face.
A few hours later, Celestia exited the Royal Court of Appeals, exhausted and blue in the face.
“Any luck?” Luna immediately asked, and Celestia shook her head.
“He’s bought them all out,” she muttered. “Where are our colts?”
Luna smiled. “I occupied them in the lab for a while. Miracle is currently distilling some acetone, while Clockwork is perusing a magical textbook I picked up from the library.”
Celestia nodded in relief. “To think, we have to marry them off in a month … what is Blueblood thinking?” Celestia groaned.
Luna sighed. “Sister, you really don’t know what he’s up to?” she queried. Celestia nodded. “He clearly intends to marry them to those of lower status than he, to force them to inherit positions that he can manipulate,” Luna revealed.
Celestia considered this for a moment. “And if they are of lesser status than he, then what? It’s not like Blueblood to compromise his precious relationship with me just to put down a few relatives,” Celestia countered.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Sister. For what purpose would the royal hierarchy matter to a politician?” she asked pointedly.
“Well, unless they were about to make a claim for a throne-“ Celestia stopped as her eyes widened. “Luna, you can’t be serious. There is no open throne for him to claim!”
Luna raised her other eyebrow. “And what of our sons? Is there no position open for them?” she rebutted.
“Well, the plan was to retire once they were of age, and leave Canterlot… to… them…” Celestia trailed off. Luna nodded smugly, and Celestia sighed. “I don’t believe this is happening… but okay. I’ll double their Guard regiment,” she decided.
“Triple,” Luna countered. “They only have two Guards apiece, after all.”
Celestia sighed in annoyance. “Very well , triple. They’ll all be ponies, none of the registered changelings, just so you know. If you’ll excuse me, Sister… I need a break.” She trotted past Luna, who looked at her in surprise.
“That Council session must have gone worse than I thought,” she muttered under her breath.
“Miracle? Clockwork?” Celestia called out, knocking on their door.
“Come in!” Clockwork called.
Celestia softly stepped inside, glancing around at the new condition of the place. Miracle’s half was already messy, papers and books scattered around the floor. Glassware had taken up much of the desk, a heating and stirring element currently swishing around a flask full of clear liquid as it boiled over into a condenser. The bed was rumpled and unmade, showing clear signs of frequent use. Clockwork’s side, on the other hoof, was spotless – not a single atom out of place. Clockwork himself appeared to have been listening to music, a pair of headphones dangling from his neck as he looked at her.
“What’s up?” he asked, and Celestia sighed.
“Court was a nightmare . Would you mind if I relaxed here for a moment?” she asked politely.
“No problem, make yourself at home,” Clockwork offered with a smile, and Celestia’s heart melted. Her son was just so perfect sometimes. She really would have to send Claire a gift basket or something, at this point.
“No luck changing that ‘getting married in a month’ thing, huh?” Miracle shrewdly guessed, not taking his eyes off his distillation.
Celestia sighed again, laying down on the floor. “Not in the slightest,” she groaned. “Every single Councilmare has been bought out by Blueblood, it seems.”
Clockwork raised an eyebrow. “Is that legal?” he asked curiously.
“He managed to do it in technically legal manners, so... yes,” Celestia sighed for the third time, taking off her regalia.
“Why do you think he’s really doing this?” Clockwork asked curiously, taking a seat beside her as Celestia immediately placed a comforting wing over him.
“Perhaps he is trying to assert his dominance, in his own odd fashion,” Celestia answered tiredly.
“Hey, let’s talk about something less emotionally draining,” Miracle offered.
“Such as?” Clockwork asked curiously.
“Well, we could always work on bridging our laptops to play games together,” Miracle offered.
“Do you… know how to do that?” Clockwork asked hopefully.
Miracle grimaced. “Eh… I only remember it vaguely, I only had to do it once,” he reluctantly admitted. “Still, I think I have the required software around here somewhere . Let me see…” he muttered, poking around his desktop screen.
An hour later, they were playing a game together. “Sucks that there’s no multiplayer in this world… or Internet,” Miracle remarked, shooting yet another zombie.
“Look out, there’s one behind you,” Clockwork called. “And yeah, maybe we can invent something like that? Take the blueprints for a cell tower or something from Earth, and copy it over to Equestria?” he wondered.
“It would be quite the undertaking,” Celestia noted. “Also, this game is very… dark . I can’t really see it catching on with the populace.”
Clockwork shook his hoof in a so-so manner. “It’s one of the more comedic takes on a zombie apocalypse. But yeah, I guess all the blood and whatever wouldn’t go down so well with ponies…” he trailed off in thought.
“You know what game really needs to be released in this place? Pony Island,” Miracle remarked deviously.
“Miracle. NO . Don’t you dare ,” Clockwork viciously rebuked, and Miracle burst out laughing.
“Pony Island?” Celestia inquired. “What is the game about?”
Clockwork sighed. “It pretends to be a cute little game about ponies jumping over fences, and that’s all I’m going to say about it.”
Miracle snorted. “Trust me, you don’t want to know,” he added.
Celestia pouted. “Well, now I do want to know,” she muttered. The three of them fell silent once more, returning to the game as climactic music started to play.
“So, if you’re the Princess, can’t you just overrule the Council?” Miracle asked a while later.
Celestia smiled thinly. “This is part of the reason why we stated that being a prince is not, in fact, all about politics. As alicorns, the vast majority of our job is keeping Equestria safe. In terms of actual political power, it depends on how popular we are. I might have been able to overrule the Council before Luna’s return, but ever since then Blueblood has been stirring up all sorts of rumors about our royal bloodline… which, in some interpretations, extend to me,” Celestia explained.
“And… I’m assuming… us,” Clockwork added after a moment.
“Indeed,” Celestia confirmed. “They will do their best to disgrace you. Miracle, you have likely gotten away with your earlier act because of Blueblood’s notorious unpopularity among the public, but I would ask that you not attempt as such again, lest he sway even more of the nobility to his side. He may have the Council, but I shudder to think of what would happen should he get the support of the rest of the nobility as well.”
Miracle nodded solemnly. “I won’t,” he promised.
A while later, Miracle had resorted to taking a nap out of boredom, Celestia having left to resume her royal duties.
“Aren’t you going to finish your distillation or whatever?” Clockwork remarked irritably, poking him.
“Nah, it’s already done, the dessicant's in there and everything,” Miracle mumbled back sleepily.
“Well don’t just lay there! We’re in Equestria! Go out and enjoy it!” Clockwork demanded.
Miracle shrugged. “Uh… alright,” he agreed, surprising Clockwork as he got out of bed. “I gotta pick up some stuff anyway. Want anything?” Miracle offered.
“Where did you get money?” Clockwork asked suspiciously.
Miracle shrugged. “Luna set up some kind of tab for me. Seems like we all draw money from the same royal account.”
Clockwork raised an eyebrow, thinking. “In that case, no, I’m fine,” he dismissed.
“Suit yourself. See you in fifteen, assuming I don’t decide to wander around for a bit,” Miracle called, exiting the room.
“Bye,” Clockwork called.
Two hours later, Miracle wandered the streets of Canterlot, noting that he'd somehow managed to slip past every Guard in the castle. Occasionally he’d stop to autograph some little colt or filly’s toy, still kept from the festival just a few days earlier, but for the most part he just kept to himself, examining Canterlot life as he meandered any which way. He was already laden with yet more scientific apparatus and chemicals, carefully moving so as not to disturb the glassware inside his saddlepacks.
He wandered past an alleyway, and stopped as he heard a distinct chitter from within. He looked over curiously, and noticed a lone changeling, sitting on the sidewalk with a sign that said “Please give love, we are starving” on it. Without another word, Miracle laid down his saddlepack beside the changeling, and hugged him, trying his best to feel affection for the random stranger in front of him. The changeling drone appeared shocked, but quickly began feeding on his love, leaving Miracle much less dizzy than usual.
“Thank you, friend!” it chirped once it was done.
“Are there any more of you that need help?” Miracle inquired.
The changeling nodded. “We are back here,” it answered, springing up with enthusiasm as it led him into another alleyway.
I’ve really got to stop following strangers into dark alleyways, Miracle pondered.
“And when you’re done, you need to-“ a changeling was lecturing, in a very familiar form. It was Jade Heart, Miracle realized, looking at the mare in some surprise. So she was a changeling? Interesting.
“Brought food friend!” the changeling next to him called out, and Jade Heart whirled around, stopping to stare at him in shock and horror.
“Heya,” Miracle called out.
“I – I, um, this isn’t what it looks like-“ Jade Heart hastily stammered, but Miracle simply rolled his eyes.
“Relax, I don’t mind that you’re a changeling,” he dismissed.
“You’re… you’re not mad that I lied about who I was?” Jade Heart questioned disbelievingly.
Miracle Matter shrugged. “I kinda get where you’re coming from, honestly. Besides, ‘studying the emotions of the brain’ kinda tipped me off once I thought about it,” he explained.
Jade Heart appeared speechless for a moment. “Oh… um… okay…” she trailed off.
“So, you hungry? I have plenty of love,” Miracle offered.
Jade Heart blushed. “I, um… yeah?” she answered, a slightly hopeful tone in her voice.
Miracle held out his hooves, and she slowly stepped forward, the other changelings moving out of the way respectfully as she closed the distance. She stepped into his outstretched hooves, and he gently hugged her, closing his eyes and breathing in her sweet perfume as she drained his love.
“Wow… you’re a lot hungrier than the other ones… you okay?” he asked, slightly woozy as he stumbled away.
“Sorry! I forgot… how hungry I was,” Jade Heart finished lamely.
“Eh, that’s okay. I’ll be stopping by tomorrow to make sure you get enough,” Miracle casually answered.
He spent the next thirty minutes feeding the rest of the changelings, each of whom seemed surprised that he was paying such attention to them. That done, he said his goodbyes and returned to the castle, lost in thought. If Chrysalis was supposed to be making some kind of move on him, as he indeed suspected she was, where did Jade Heart play into things? Was she one of Chrysalis’ drones, sent to infiltrate the castle? Or was she just running her own thing, trying to get her gaggle of drones to get enough food? She certainly seemed to be in charge of them, at any rate. Miracle decided not to tell his parents. With their prejudices against changelings, they’d probably just forbid him from visiting altogether, even if it was for good intentions and good for changeling-pony relations. Screw that, I’m going to be nice to them, he thought snarkily. What could possibly go wrong from being nice?
Chapter 15 - The First Attempt
When he returned to the castle, Celestia and Luna were waiting for him, stern expressions on their faces.
“What’s wrong?” Miracle asked, as soon as he caught sight of them.
“You left without any Guard accompaniment,” Celestia chided.
“What if something had happened to you?” Luna worried.
Miracle scoffed. “Like what, Lord Tirek? Relax, I’m fine,” he dismissed.
Luna shot him a stern glare. “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence,” she reminded him.
Miracle chuckled at the joke. “Okay, you’re right, I shouldn’t assume things. If it helps, I was out in the main district of Canterlot buying stuff, in full view of several ponies.” Technically he was lying by omission, by leaving out the part with the changelings, but Miracle didn't particularly care at the moment.
Luna’s stern, motherly gaze shifted to one of friendly curiosity. “What stuff?” she asked, and Celestia slapped a hoof to her forehead.
“Luna…” she groaned.
“What? We already scolded him, there is no sense in pressing the matter further now we know he is safe,” Luna defended, poking through his bags inquisitively.
Celestia sighed, rolling her eyes. “As you wish,” she finally conceded.
“Did something happen while I was out?” Miracle asked curiously.
“Well, er… yes,” Luna hesitantly confirmed. “It wasn’t something bad, but… we’d like to talk about it with both you and Clockwork, which is why we had to wait until your return.
“Oh. Alrighty then, let’s go talk about it,” Miracle agreed.
Celestia and Luna shared a worried glance, which Miracle returned with a confused one of his one. Without another word, they led him silently towards his room.
Clockwork was inside, not listening to music as he normally did and instead looking rather anxious. “There you are!” he fretted as Miracle stepped inside. “You’ve been gone for hours, you only said fifteen minutes!”
Miracle shrugged. “Fifteen minutes, assuming I didn’t decide to wander around. Which, upon seeing how interesting Canterlot is, I promptly did.” He took a seat by Clockwork, lounging on the floor, and Clockwork punched him gently on the withers, huffing angrily.
“Now, Clockwork. He returned safe, and that is all that matters,” Celestia rebuked, Luna and Miracle looking at her strangely.
“What’s going on?” Miracle asked Clockwork, who shrugged helplessly.
“I dunno, I just asked them who our dad was. You know, since we’re ‘brothers’ and all? Or half-brothers, at the very least.”
Luna sighed, closing the door behind him and lighting her horn. All background noise died down, even the humming of their laptops falling silent as the two royal sisters took seats in front of them. “Well, you’re… not quite correct,” Luna began.
“What do you mean?” Clockwork asked.
“Am I going to turn out to be adopted? Again ?” Miracle joked, and Luna stifled a guilty smile.
“No, you truly are our biological offspring,” she reassured them.
“So… who was our dad, then?” Clockwork asked again.
Celestia sighed, a stressed look on her face. “You must understand… A thousand years ago, we were worried about if something happened to us. The world was a terrible place back then, fraught with dangers and enemies that sought to dispel the light and harmony we brought. If something were to happen to us, we needed alicorns to replace us.”
Miracle nodded slowly. “But alicorns can’t be born through natural means, right? Flurry Heart was an anomaly,” he countered.
Luna shook her head. “That is a story we tell the public. In truth, alicorns can be born naturally, as naturally as any other phenotype of pony. At the time of your birth, we did not know of the required spells to transform a pony into an alicorn, and because we were so desperate to bear foals, we resorted to…” she trailed off.
“We…” Luna tried again weakly.
“We impregnated each other,” Celestia answered quietly.
There was a moment of silence, and Miracle glanced at Clockwork. His own expression was impassive, but Clockwork’s was screaming gross gross OH GOD WHY with all the subtlety of several bricks to the face.
“Are you alright, Clockwork?” Celestia asked, picking up on his facial expression.
“Y…yep! No problem here, that’s… fine and dandy…” Clockwork trailed off, looking slightly green.
“Miracle? You seem rather… calm about this,” Luna observed.
Miracle shrugged. “As soon as you told me the two of us were brothers, and never mentioned a father figure… I put two and two together.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “You mean you knew the whole time?” she queried disbelievingly.
Miracle shrugged. “I had a guess. I wasn’t going to say it out loud.”
Princess Celestia weakly chuckled. “So, um… that’s the truth. We are both your mothers and your fathers. I… I am sorry to have to tell you this way, but… I felt you were old enough to know the truth.”
Miracle snorted in amusement. “So, when you wanted foals so badly, how much of that was political reasoning?” he wondered out loud.
Celestia appeared hurt, her ears splaying back. “I assure you, we had you because we wanted you!” she replied. Miracle appeared unconvinced.
“I was against the idea, at first,” Luna spoke up. “But when I saw other ponies, laughing and playing with their foals… I wanted to give it a try. My reasoning was not political in the slightest.”
Celestia looked down at the floor. “I will admit that mine was, to an extent. But ultimately, if I had not wanted a foal to rear of my own, I would not have made my decision so.” She looked up at the two of them hesitantly. “Can you forgive me?” she whispered.
Clockwork immediately made to comfort her, launching himself into a hug with his much taller mother, and Miracle followed shortly after, patting her on the back as she hugged Clockwork for dear life.
“I guess I don’t really care about your reasoning then . I care about your reasoning now … and you’ve proven that you care about us a lot,” Miracle reassured her.
“Still… there wasn’t anyone else? Couldn’t you have, I dunno, gotten one of the Royal Guards to do it?” Clockwork asked.
Celestia chuckled weakly. “Believe me, we tried . No such luck.”
Miracle finally remembered to drop his bag of glassware and chemicals by his bed, the clink of glass snapping Celestia and Clockwork out of their hug. “So, uh. I guess I’ll ask. Is incest… legal here?” Miracle wondered.
Luna shook her head. “We found very long ago that it had deleterious effects on the population. Less capacity for magic, among other things,” she explained. “We only resorted to this because we were truly desperate to bear children.”
Miracle looked at her, expressionless. “And then your children were stolen from you… wow. That’s kind of sad,” he noted, with as little emotion in his voice as if he were discussing the weather.
Luna sighed. “It was, yes,” she agreed forlornly. But her face brightened a moment later. “But now, you have returned! So there is no reason to dwell on it further,” she proclaimed.
Celestia sat down with a thump, and Miracle was surprised to see that she was shaking slightly. “I, um… I’m glad you took this so well,” the Princess of the Sun complimented faintly.
“You okay, mom?” Clockwork asked, worried.
“I just… sorry, I’ve been stressing about this for a while, and…” Celestia was cut off as Miracle tore the bedsheets off his mattress, placing the pillow off to Celestia’s side and laying her down on it. He threw the blanket over her, carefully tucking it in so that she was secure inside it.
“Lay down, breathe, and relax a little,” he commanded.
“Thank you…” Celestia trailed off, eyes closing.
“She’s going to need a glass of water when she gets up,” Miracle noted as Celestia curled inward, passing out.
“You sound experienced in these matters,” Luna commented, looking at him.
“I’ve fainted from stress a few times before, and so have a few of my friends. I got pretty good at treating it,” Miracle explained. He put a hoof to Celestia’s forehead, noting with satisfaction that she seemed to be mostly normal.
They spent a moment just sitting there in silence, Miracle occasionally rubbing Celestia’s stomach to quiet her discomforted murmurings as Clockwork awkwardly flicked his gaze between Miracle and Luna.
“So… uh…” the Prince of Time finally attempted to speak after a while.
“Yeah, I know, it’s weird and gross,” Miracle immediately answered. Luna blushed and looked away.
“No, it’s not-! I just meant – dammit!” Clockwork cried, stomping a hoof in irritation.
Miracle stopped his ministrations to gaze at his brother seriously. “You’re feeling conflicted because all of our human cultural values tell us this is a horrible, wrong, evil thing to do,” he pointed out. “However, you can’t say that, because that implies that your parents, that is, you ,” he nodded at Luna, “have done something of such a tremendously sinful nature. Your emotional conflict is normal, but keep in mind that most of our mythology relies on similarly odd ways of birthing gods and goddesses, and some of them are considerably weirder. Any questions?” he finished, leaving both Clockwork and Luna to stare at him, openmouthed.
“That was…” Luna started.
“Incredibly logical,” Clockwork finished, laughing slightly. “Try to put some more emotion into it!” he chided.
Miracle chuckled. “Nah,” he dismissed. “As we all know, I’m too cool to feel more emotion than the average rock.” Luna giggled at the joke, and Clockwork rolled his eyes, smirking.
“Okay… I mean, I guess you have a point, assuming you’re mostly talking about the Greek or Nordic gods. But still… I’m sorry, it’s just a little weird ,” he muttered, looking at Luna guiltily.
Luna sighed. “Imagine our shock when, of all things, that was the only one that worked ,” she replied, gazing off into the distance. “We had to invent a cover story at the time, so we claimed that the two of you had been sent to us by the very magic of the world itself… I think. Celestia probably remembers whatever we made up better than I do,” Luna considered.
“So… wait. Does this mean that Flurry Heart is actually the child of Princess Cadance and Twilight ?” Clockwork asked, a half-incredulous smile coming to his lips.
Luna laughed heartily. “No, we most assuredly confirmed that Shining Armor is her genetic father. We are unsure how that happened, but we suspect it may have something to do with Cadance's aspect of love. Twilight Sparkle, impregnating her foalsitter – the very idea!” she chortled.
“What’s so funny, Lulu?” Celestia inquired, somehow having managed to wake up without any of them noticing.
Luna immediately stopped laughing. “N-nothing,” she denied, still grinning.
“Is this about Twilight’s sex life? Honestly, you really need to stop, Twilight’s going to hear you one of these days,” Celestia chided, pushing herself into a sitting position.
“…How are you feeling?” Miracle eventually asked, electing to ignore the conversation that had just taken place.
Clockwork, however, was not so stoic, falling over in a fit of the giggles as he blushed crimson red.
Celestia, upon realizing that he was there, immediately blushed as well. “Oh-! I… forgot you two… um…” she trailed off, quickly turning to Miracle. “A bit dazed, but I’m fine,” the Princess of the Sun hurriedly answered.
“Are you sure? You seem a bit… candid at the moment,” Miracle deviously remarked, and Celestia hid her face behind her wings.
“Anyway… Um. Wow. I’m genuinely not sure where we go from here,” Clockwork remarked, looking awkwardly around the room.
“Wanna just pretend it never happened?” Miracle suggested.
“Miracle!” Luna objected.
“Whaat? I was joking ,” Miracle defended.
“Even so,” Luna grumbled.
“Well… this doesn’t really change much in our relationship,” Clockwork mused. “It just means we won’t have a masculine father figure to look up to.”
Miracle snorted. “There’s always Discord,” he pointed out.
Celestia and Luna immediately cringed, expecting Discord to appear on the scene. To their surprise, he didn’t, causing everyone to look around in confusion.
“Darn… that normally works,” Miracle noted curiously.
“…At any rate… it is almost time for bed. Do you two need anything?” Celestia asked.
“…No, I think we’re good,” Clockwork replied after a moment.
“Very well. Good night, you two! I love you both,” Celestia concluded, warmly nuzzling the two of them. Clockwork giggled as she did so, and Miracle cringed slightly despite the grin on his face.
“Gonna have to learn how to do that, huh?” Miracle noted.
“You don’t know how to nuzzle ?” Luna queried incredulously. “That’s – how do you humans function ?”
Clockwork burst into laughter. “Clearly, with great difficulty,” he returned.
Luna firmly nuzzled the pair of them, and bid them adieu as well, leaving Miracle and Clockwork alone. Miracle promptly began unpacking his bags, while Clockwork elected to lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling.
“So, that happened,” Miracle prompted after a moment.
“Yeah… our moms are weird. What else is new?” Clockwork sighed.
Meanwhile, just outside the room, Chrysalis sat, stunned at the revelations she had overheard. Indeed, if anyone could have seen her expression, they might have said that all the secrets of the universe had been laid bare before her, and her fragile mind was too weak to comprehend all that had just transpired. They might also have said that she was rather heavily blushing.
The following day, Miracle and Clockwork awoke to find Celestia and Luna waiting there, expectant smiles on both their faces.
“Alright, what’s with the faces?” Miracle drawled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
“Court is closed on the weekends,” Luna began.
“Which means we have the entire day to enjoy with you!” Celestia finished, beaming excitedly.
“Neat. What are we doing?” Miracle asked.
“I was thinking we could visit a wonderful mineral museum in downtown Canterlot, followed by a massage for the four of us at the royal spa and lunch. After that, we could attend a performance of the Canterlot Orchestral Symphony this evening,” Celestia offered.
Miracle and Clockwork looked at each other. “Sounds good,” Miracle agreed. “When do we leave?”
Luna hopped excitedly. “As soon as you get yourselves out of bed! Come on, let’s go!” she enthused.
A few minutes later, the four of them were walking through Canterlot, Miracle looking around interestedly at the shops as Clockwork stumbled after them, slowly waking up from the fresh breeze that circled around them.
“So, how do you feel about being Princes so far?” Celestia asked as they walked.
Miracle immediately glared off into the distance. Here we go again, he thought. If we say ‘good,’ she’ll assume that that’s justification to get into the bad parts of it without our approval. If we say ‘bad,’ she’ll act all hurt or whatever and use that to make us feel bad . Part of him argued against this train of thought. What if she just wants to make sure we’re happy? Haven’t we proven she really does care? it spoke up. Not enough evidence, his other side argued back.
“Miracle?” Celestia asked, snapping him out of his train of thought.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Uh… good, I guess,” Miracle answered.
“You ‘guess?’ Is something wrong?” Celestia worried.
“Nah, nothing’s wrong. And… this is… more fun than I’ve had in a long time,” Miracle admitted.
Celestia smiled at him, clearly pleased. “Glad to hear it,” she agreed.
“Yeah, I… I mean, this is all really weird, but… I like it? It’s definitely better than going to college for a lame degree,” Clockwork spoke up.
“A ‘lame’ degree? I do not understand,” Luna queried.
“Lame now means uncool or boring, rather than lacking extremities,” Miracle explained.
“Ah, that makes sense… I think,” Luna replied uncertainly.
Miracle shrugged. “Most slang I hear nowadays is either a synonym for ‘cool’ or ‘uncool,’” he added.
“I see,” Luna murmured.
They arrived at the mineral museum, where Miracle promptly glued his eyes to the windows. “Come on, there’s cooler stuff inside,” Clockwork groaned, dragging Miracle by a hoof.
“But I want to see the stuff out here first! There’s citrine! And apophyllite! And is that a lump of peridot ?!” Miracle whined, reluctantly allowing himself to be taken away from the pony-sized lump of gemstone.
Celestia and Luna exchanged knowing looks with each other, smirking at their children’s antics.
For the next hour, Miracle was lost in a sea of sparkling, shining gemstones, eyes flicking all around as he tried to take it all in. The Canterlot Museum of Mineralogy proclaimed it was “the best in all Equestria,” and so far it lived up to the title. There were native elements, precious metals, meteorites, small cut gems, larger natural gems, perfect crystals, and so much more. Luna looked fondly at the section entitled “Rocks and Gems from the Moon!” and Miracle wondered how there could possibly be gemstones on the Moon before he remembered that it was Anima’s Moon, not Earth’s Moon. That said, he studied the ‘Lunite’ with interest, noting its pale blue coloration and slight translucency.
“How did they even get this?” he wondered.
“I donated these samples,” Luna explained. “T’was a simple matter to teleport to my Moon, gather some, and bring them back.”
Miracle examined the gemstone with renewed interest. “What’s its chemical formula?” he asked.
Luna thought for a while. “It contains calcium and silicates, that much the museum has determined. There is another element in there that we have yet to name… or isolate. Tis’ most stubborn.”
Miracle considered this – he suspected yttrium, from his knowledge of Earth’s Moon’s chemical composition, but it could be a number of other things. Rare earths, maybe?
They finished the tour of the museum, and Miracle immediately made a beeline for the gift shop. “Pick one , Mirry,” Luna called out, giggling at his antics as he perused the miniature gem shop that the museum hosted.
“Aww,” Miracle whined. “Alright.” He examined the rows of polished gems carefully, finally selecting a blue and green, opaque stone.
“Chrysocolla?” Luna asked curiously, and Miracle shrugged.
“Only one of the copper minerals I don’t have yet.”
Luna remained silent for a moment, before giving him a small smile. “If you say so,” she agreed, trotting up to the counter to purchase it.
“Hey, can I get one too?” Clockwork asked.
“Sure,” Celestia agreed.
“Miracle, any suggestions?” Clockwork asked.
“Depends. If you want rarity, they’ve got some small diamonds. For looks, I would go for the emeralds, they’re a really nice shade of green. Definitely don’t get the amethyst,” Miracle suggested.
“Why not?” Celestia wondered. “Amethyst is the most common gemstone – or at least, it was back on Earth. It’s a variety of quartz with iron impurities, both of which are everywhere on the planet,” Miracle scoffed.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “And yet, it is one of the rarest varieties of gems here on Anima. Hence why it is my preferred crown jewel,” she countered.
Miracle snorted, looking slightly apologetic. “Whoops. Sorry, didn’t mean to insult your jewelry preferences. Uh… I guess it’s up to you, then,” Miracle finished, looking at Clockwork expectantly.
“You know what? I’m going to get this sapphire,” Clockwork chose, holding up a deep blue, perfectly transparent sapphire.
“…Wow, way to ignore my advice,” Miracle ribbed, pretending to turn his nose up. Clockwork laughed, bumping him in the shoulder as he levitated the sapphire over to Celestia.
“Hey, when did you learn levitation?” Miracle asked curiously.
“Celestia taught me on the train here. You were asleep again,” Clockwork answered.
“Huh. That reminds me, we still have to go about learning how to magic sometime,” Miracle remembered.
“Don’t worry, we have a lesson plan ready,” Luna joined in, having finished her purchases.
“Huh, already? At least you’re on top of things. So… what are we doing next, again?” Miracle asked.
“The spa, I think,” Clockwork remembered.
“Indeed,” Luna agreed. “We have visited before, and found it very relaxing. Miracle, are you ready to leave?” she asked.
Miracle looked around. “Not nearly,” he decided, “but I guess I can leave for now .”
Luna stifled a giggle, and Miracle caught a smile on the nearby museum staffer’s face as the four of them exited the museum.
As they walked through the Canterlot streets towards the spa, Miracle realized they were passing right by the same alleyway that he had been in a short while ago. He looked at it, thoroughly searching it for any sign of changelings, but it seemed like a normal alley. Maybe they had all transformed into inanimate objects? Strange. Miracle looked forward again, and realized he had fallen behind the others, quickening his pace to catch up.
The spa itself was elegant and luxurious, that much was evident by the way the building itself was designed. Even in autumn, gouts of water still streamed out of holes in the building wall, where they were collected by pools underneath. Miracle could tell just by looking that the water in question was hot water, the shimmer of heat waves giving it away against the slightly chilly autumn air.
“Isn’t that a waste of hot water?” he wondered, pointing it out to Luna.
She looked at the jets of water curiously, horn lighting for a moment as she cast an unseen spell. “They are enchanted to remain at a constant temperature, drawing energy from a magical crystal inside the building. At the rate the crystal is being drained, the spa could continue these bursts of water for another hundred years, at least,” she determined.
“A hundred years? That’s a pretty good battery,” Miracle commented, looking at Clockwork as Celestia walked into the building, leaving the three of them outside as she went to confirm their reservation.
“Battery?” Luna asked, tilting her head slightly in confusion.
“It’s like a… well, like a magical crystal, I guess. Batteries power most of the handheld technology back on Earth. They’re little electrochemical cells, designed to turn the potential difference between two chemical reactions into usable electrical power,” Miracle explained.
Luna nodded, interested. “I believe Cloudsdale has done some research into this matter. They stacked hundreds of plates of copper and zinc on top of another, with sheets of soaked seawater in between, and managed to produce a very weak lightning bolt.”
Miracle smirked at the reference to Voltaire’s work on Earth. “They did, huh? Maybe I should go up there and show them a thing or two,” he joked.
Luna laughed, nodding. “Why not? I would love to see what the Cloudsdale weather scientists could come up with if they had access to Earth’s inventions,” she mused.
Miracle chuckled good-naturedly. “I’d have to introduce them to solid-state electronics first. Can’t wait to see what Equestria’s reaction to a nonmagical laser will be like,” he snarked.
Clockwork slapped a hoof to his forehead. “Try to save your plans for world domination for later, Josh ,” he chimed in.
“World domination?” Luna asked, confused.
“It’s a joke,” Miracle quickly explained. “Lasers can be used as weapons if they’re powerful enough, and Ben and I used to joke that I was going to be a mad scientist who took over the world one day.”
Luna laughed again, this time with a tinge of unease. “I see…” she trailed off.
Miracle rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not actually interested in conquering stuff, nor am I going to be some insane scientist performing unethical experiments. It’s just a joke, Mom.”
Luna gave him an uncertain smile. “Perhaps… refrain from making those kinds of jokes in the future,” she suggested. “Some ponies may take that the wrong way, given that you’re my son, and I…”
Miracle quickly realized what she was talking about. “Hey, it’s alright! If it makes you feel better, we won’t joke about that stuff anymore,” he soothed.
“Thank you,” Luna agreed, sounding relieved.
Just then, a burst of green fire zoomed down the street, a rippling disturbance in the air washing over them as it passed by, slipping through the spa’s door.
“Princess Twilight must have sent a letter,” Luna realized.
“Huh. That’s… a little more dramatic than I remember,” Clockwork muttered to Miracle, who chuckled as he pushed open the spa door to investigate.
He found Celestia anxiously reading over the letter Twilight had sent, muttering to herself as her eyes scanned each line of script with a practiced rigor.
“Mom? You alright?” Clockwork asked, snapping Celestia out of her trance.
“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. Nothing to worry about,” Celestia hastily soothed, teleporting the letter away with a flash of her horn. Miracle and Clockwork glanced at each other, unconvinced. “Anyway, our appointment is just about ready to start. Are you two ready?” Celestia asked.
The two brothers shrugged in unison. “Yeah, sure,” Miracle answered for the two of them.
“Then follow me, your Majesties,” a unicorn spa attendant chimed in, leading them through a set of ornate double doors.
An hour later, the four of them exited the spa, shivering slightly from the chilly air compared to the warm, steamy interior of the building they had just been in.
“Wow, that was… really good, actually. I haven’t felt this good in years ,” Clockwork complimented, stretching his joints in satisfaction.
“How about you, Miracle?” Luna asked, with a knowing smirk.
“Yeah, it was… yeah,” Miracle replied dazedly, a dopey smile still on his face.
Luna giggled. “Glad to hear it.”
Meanwhile, ‘Jade Heart’ watched them exit, paying careful attention to the Princes’ expressions.
“Massages, gems, hot baths, what else…” she muttered, her lime-green magic levitating a quill as she wrote her thoughts down. She had a drone inside that very spa, and it seemed they would have to teach her a few things. Ordinarily she would scoff at the very notion of learning something from an inferior drone, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She would do this right this time. No more mistakes.
They stopped outside a restaurant, with a title Miracle couldn’t even pronounce.
“What’s this restaurant?” Clockwork asked curiously.
“It’s one of the least fancy restaurants in Canterlot,” Celestia answered. “It’s little more than a simple fast food joint, but they made everything look fancy in order to keep the customers coming.”
Miracle raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Fast food, huh? What exactly is fast food in Equestria?” he asked.
“Mushroom burgers, hay fries, things like that. I don’t eat them often, due to the public scandal it caused last time…” Celestia grumbled.
Luna chuckled, elbowing her sister. “Remember the last time an advisor ‘advised’ you to lay off the calories?” she ribbed.
Celestia’s eyes smoldered slightly. “And to this day, there is one less royal family in Canterlot,” she muttered.
Clockwork looked at her in alarm. “What’d you do to them?” he worried.
Noticing his expression, Celestia instantly looked guilty. “Nothing terrible! I just stripped him of his title. He’s still in Canterlot, and still quite wealthy.”
Miracle laughed. “Honestly, why would anyone ever call you fat? If anything, I always wondered why you were so thin . You’re like Clockwork, you’re both skin and bones.”
Celestia blushed slightly. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all year! Thank you, sweetie, you’re too kind.”
Luna looked at Miracle curiously. “What about me?” she asked.
Miracle leveled his gaze at her. “Luna. You need. To gain weight,” he intoned, and Luna burst out laughing, her mirth echoing through the streets as passersby turned in surprise.
The restaurant was cozy on the inside, with a roaring fireplace wiping away the autumn chill as the four royals took their seats.
“Oh! Princess Celestia!” the maître d’ called out as soon as he spotted the form of them.
“Hello again, Swift Service,” Celestia greeted amicably.
“Your favorite table is open and ready for you right now, go on in!” Swift encouraged.
Celestia happily led the other three to a spot right next to the fireplace, the heat washing over them as they took their seats. A waitress quickly came up with glasses of water and menus, which they politely accepted and began leafing through.
“Shame we can’t eat meat anymore,” Miracle mentioned offhandedly.
Celestia and Luna fidgeted uncomfortably. “Oh… right…” Luna muttered, looking around to see if they had been overheard.
“Perhaps it is not wise to mention that in public,” Celestia murmured to them, looking around as well.
“Oh… is that taboo here?” Clockwork asked, exchanging a worried look with Miracle.
Celestia tugged at her peytral. “Not… exactly… but ponies do not consume meat, having no need or reason. We are just worried of the scandal it could raise if somepony decides to make an issue of it.”
Miracle sighed, irritated. “Can’t you arrest Blueblood for… I dunno, extortion?”
Celestia gave him a sigh of her own. “I cannot exercise my power in such a way. Even if I believe it is justified, I am not going to be that kind of princess.”
Luna snorted. “You might get away with it. Ever since my return, ponies have been wondering what it would take for you to banish some poor sap to the moon for their crimes.” Celestia winced.
“That’s a common trope in… well, our version of the story as well,” Miracle added. “Some assumed you were some kind of tyrant who delighted in the suffering of her subjects, much like Discord used to.”
Luna and Celestia quickly looked around, but Discord was nowhere to be found, strangely.
“Why did they assume that? Did I do something wrong?” Celestia asked sadly.
“Not really,” Miracle answered indifferently. “There was that thing where you sent Twilight only two tickets to the Gala, knowing that she had six friends. Then, something about that phoenix of yours and Fluttershy, I forget the details.”
Celestia looked at him in consternation. “Philomena? What happened with her?” she asked.
“I think people were annoyed you didn’t step in earlier and tell Fluttershy that phoenixes die a lot? No idea,” Miracle admitted.
Celestia was about to reply, but a waiter had just appeared at their table, smiling patiently. “Are you ready to order?” she asked politely.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’ll have the… lasagna,” Miracle quickly decided.
“Same,” Clockwork added.
“In fact, why not a large one for all four of us?” Celestia offered, Luna nodding in agreement.
“Good choice!” the waiter agreed, bowing slightly as she took their menus and trotting off to inform the chefs.
“So… am I a bad princess?” Celestia asked quietly, as soon as the waiter was out of earshot.
Miracle snorted. “Hardly,” he dismissed. “It’s not you , it’s everyone else’s reaction to you. In case you haven’t noticed, mom, most ponies seem to deify you to a degree rarely seen outside of totalitarian regimes and dictatorships back home – which is why some made that comparison. Whether you actually exhibit that behavior in the ‘show’ is yet to be determined, because you appear so rarely . There is little point worrying about it, anyway – why should you care about the opinions of a planet so far removed from yours?” Miracle pointed out.
Celestia and Luna stared at him, and Clockwork chuckled slightly.
“What?” Miracle asked, looking at them.
“Meanwhile, you debate so rarely, we forget that you’re actually super good at it,” Clockwork ribbed.
Miracle chuckled. “I’m used to having to prove my arguments empirically. It’s not easy, so I rarely bother to argue with anypony. Too much work,” he scoffed, lazily leaning back.
“Princesses Celestia and Luna?” a voice called out in surprise, and all four of them looked over. To their surprise, the dragoness Ember had just entered the restaurant, her aquamarine scales quite out-of-place amidst the cozy interior atmosphere.
“Dragon Lady Ember? What are you doing here?” Celestia called over, and Ember took an uncomfortable seat next to Clockwork.
“I… well, I was going to schedule a meeting with you, but I don’t know how ponies schedule meetings. You don’t have some kind of Bloodstone Scepter of your own, do you?” Ember questioned.
Celestia laughed politely. “Sadly, we do not. Most of our subjects request a meeting through our subordinates, known as ‘secretaries,’ who can be found in the throne room next to the throne at most times.”
Ember nodded. “Ah. Should I go and find them, then?” she wondered.
Celestia considered it a moment, then shook her head. “No, if you are already here, sending you off somewhere else would be a waste of both of our time. Is what you wish to talk about lengthy, or can it be done here?” Celestia asked.
Ember looked around. “Well, it’s not lengthy , but…” she trailed off, looking at Clockwork and Miracle. “I… I’ll go find those ‘secretaries,’” Ember announced, taking flight and speeding off through the doorway to the restaurant, knocking over a nearby unicorn in her haste.
Celestia watched her go, confused. “What was that about?” she wondered.
“Guess you’ll find out later,” Miracle shrugged. He had his own suspicions, but given what happened the last time he’d voiced his theories aloud, he was going to keep silent this time.
They finished the lasagna at a leisurely pace, Miracle being the first to finish as usual. With nothing else to do, he stared around at the restaurant, wishing he had remembered to bring his phone.
“Say, when are we going to learn how to fly?” Clockwork asked in between bites of lasagna.
“Soon, I would think. Your wings are already fully developed, though I am unsure if they received proper pre-adolescent care, on account of… well, your transformation,” Celestia wondered.
“Aren’t we also going to have to learn how to preen and stuff?” Miracle remembered.
Luna nodded. “It is a very important part of wing care, rather equivalent to brushing one’s teeth. You must do it every night and every morning, to ensure your feathers are appropriately cleaned and straightened.
Clockwork winced. “Is preening painful?” he asked.
Celestia and Luna looked at him strangely. “Of course not! It feels quite pleasurable, so long as you don’t preen so viciously you pull a feather. And even then, that is not very painful,” Luna dismissed.
“That reminds me. It is time for you two to begin your magical education. Ordinarily I would hire a tutor to perform this duty, but… well, Twilight Sparkle is not available, and besides her only myself and Luna have enough magical knowledge to teach you properly. Therefore, I will be in charge of your education. Is that alright?” Celestia asked.
“What about your School for Gifted Unicorns?” Miracle asked, raising an eyebrow.
Celestia snorted. “That school has an age range of seven to fifteen years old. You attending would raise some very awkward questions.”
Miracle shrugged in agreement.
“So, wait. You’re going to be our teacher? Giving us assignments, and stuff? But you’re also our mom, so you’d be helping us with those assignments. How would that even work?” Clockwork asked, bewildered.
“Why would it not?” Celestia replied, equally confused. “I would merely be providing you more aid than another teacher could in understanding the concepts.”
Miracle snorted in amusement. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about grades , Clockwork. The Equestrian education model is probably very different than what we’re used to.”
Clockwork shrugged, taking another bite of his lasagna. “I guess… Hey… does this lasagna taste weirdly metallic to you?” Clockwork asked.
“No…” Luna replied, and suddenly Miracle was very alert.
“Weird. There's some kind of white powder in here-“ Clockwork began, but was cut off by Miracle standing up.
“Get him to the hospital,” he ordered Celestia and Luna.
“What?” Luna asked, confused and dismayed.
“Hospital. Arsenic poisoning. Now ,” Miracle ordered, in a tone that brooked no argument and caused nearby restaurant patrons to look over in concern.
Frightened, Luna nodded before teleporting herself and Clockwork away. As soon as they disappeared, Miracle checked the lasagna slice Clockwork had just been eating, confirming his suspicions. Someone had slipped what appeared to be a ball of a powdery white substance into the food, and Clockwork had bitten into it.
“Arsenic trioxide,” he muttered to Celestia. “It’s a classic poison.”
Celestia turned pale, an impressive feat considering she was already bright white. “Is he going to be okay?” she demanded.
“Depends. They’ll need a chelating agent, something like dimercaprol. Has Equestria invented this yet?” Miracle demanded.
“I don’t… know…” Celestia stammered.
Miracle snorted, infuriated. “I don’t have time for this!” he yelled, and teleported away with a flash of light, leaving Celestia alone in the restaurant. She looked around, eyes as wide as the ponies who were staring at her, and then teleported herself.
Miracle did not know how he had spontaneously learned to teleport. Had he been consciously aware, he might have commented how ridiculous it was that he was suddenly learning a difficult unicorn spell, and what effect this might have on his status as an overpowered alicorn OC. However, the real Miracle was buried beneath layers of long-unused adrenaline and panic. As he blinked into existence in the hospital, nurses and patients diving out of the way for the second time that afternoon, he immediately made a beeline for the emergency room.
“Sir, you can’t go-“ a nurse tried, but was promptly ignored.
So too was the door, as Miracle phased through it as though it had little more substance than the air around it. Doctors scattered as Miracle galloped through the room, heading in a straight line for room sixteen with little thought to anything in the way. As soon as he reached his destination, a muted conversation between a nurse and Princess Luna could be heard.
“-is no cure! We haven’t had to treat arsenic poisoning in centuries , and they never found a cure then !”
This was all Miracle needed to know. The air shimmered around him, oxygen and nitrogen transmuting and letting off a storm of deadly neutrons as they changed to carbon, hydrogen and sulfur. The excess neutrons were quickly disposed of, leaving a transparent liquid floating in the air as Miracle charged into the room. With a flash of copper-orange light, the liquid disappeared, one of Clockwork’s veins bulging for a moment as he heaved and convulsed. As the medicine took effect, Clockwork gave a rattling sigh, and was finally still.
“Miracle?!” Luna cried, evidently shocked by his appearance.
Miracle looked at her through blank, widely staring eyes, the adrenaline of just a few seconds ago catching up with him. Without another word, he fell to the floor, out cold.
Miracle woke up what felt like just a few seconds later to find Celestia and Luna staring at him, concern etched into their eyes.
“I’m fine,” Miracle immediately headed off. “How is he?”
His two new parents shared a look. “Clockwork is… well, I don’t quite know what you did to him, but he’s in very bad shape. The doctors claim he should be by all rights dead, though, so I am not sure what to think,” Celestia murmured, sounding exhausted.
“Vomiting and gastrointestinal distress?” Miracle guessed.
“Yes, actually. My son… what did you infuse him with?” Luna asked, sounding half curious and half terrified.
“Dimercaptosuccinic acid, known as succimer. A poison in its own right, but much more mild than arsenic trioxide. It chelates arsenic in the body, binding it and preventing it from interacting with and killing the body’s vital organs. I think I gave him enough of a dose to last him a while… not enough to kill him. I don’t remember much, honestly,” Miracle muttered.
Luna sighed, evidently only slightly less confused than Celestia. “So… will he be okay?” Celestia weakly pleaded.
“He’ll need more of that stuff, which means he’ll be poisoned for a while longer. What you see now is what he’ll be like for about twenty days. By then, the arsenic concentration in his body should have passed below safe limits,” Miracle explained.
“I… I still don’t understand. You captured the poison with a different poison?” Celestia continued.
“Yeah. It’s a fairly common technique for acute poisoning,” Miracle answered. He could have continued at length about the usage of different medical treatments throughout history, but he sensed Celestia was very close to snapping as it was. “He’ll be in great pain for a while… but I promise he’ll live.”
Celestia stared at him a moment longer, before her shoulders slumped and she fell to the floor in relief. “Thank you…” she sobbed, tears flooding down her face as pent-up emotion and stress finally found their release.
“So… how long have I been out?” Miracle asked.
“Just a few hours. You collapsed from magical exhaustion after… well, after all that,” Luna explained.
“Magical exhaustion? What exactly did I do?” Miracle wondered, slightly dismayed.
“While we were waiting for you to wake up, we think we figured out most of it. One teleportation, several intangibility spells, and one extremely potent transmutation spell, the likes of which we have never seen before,” Luna listed out.
“Are those… difficult?” Miracle asked blankly.
“Teleportation can be done by unicorns in a panicked state, that is well documented. It is still a difficult spell, but adrenaline compensates the loss of energy. Intangibility depends on how long the subject is in contact with anything that should not be occupying that space, the shorter the better. Transmutation is very difficult, requiring a very experienced unicorn to even pull off the regular variety on a very short quantity of material,” Luna replied, sounding almost glad for the distraction.
“…What was the difference between my spell and the ‘regular’ variety?” Miracle asked, scientific curiosity taking over now that he was certain he was out of trouble.
“Well, the first transmutation spell was developed by Clover the Clever, Star Swirl’s apprentice, and has not been modified since,” Luna began. “It only works if all atoms present in the target substance are also present in the initial substance to be modified. It also only works if the target substance’s structure and properties are completely understood by the caster, in that organic, complex substances such as food or drink must have their structures and correct behavior memorized by the caster. Since Clover’s time, only Twilight Sparkle has been able to pull off this spell flawlessly, and even then only because she studied her target substances intensely,” she continued.
“The molecular structure of succimer isn’t terribly complex…” Miracle weakly countered.
“And yet, I assume it contained carbon atoms, as well as other minor organic components?” Luna rebutted imperiously, looking at him for a response.
“…Sulfur,” Miracle muttered.
Luna nodded. “Neither sulfur nor carbon nor hydrogen were present in enough amounts to make the amount of 'succimer' you were seen with. That, then, implies that you changed those atoms present in the air to the atoms you desired, which, according to most theoretical mages, would take more energy than we use to move the sun and moon for a century. That’s a lot , by the way,” she remarked.
“Nuclear transmutation… wow. Seems like I have some explaining to do,” Miracle sighed.
Luna snorted in amusement. “Indeed you do. I’ve had half the mages from the Theoretical Magic and Science Committee demanding to know how you performed this feat in front of an entire emergency room of eyewitnesses.”
Miracle rolled his eyes, though an unmistakable smile was present on his face. “Well, as for the energy involved, I’m not sure what to tell you. I don’t know a whole lot about how magical energy production works. But the transmutation itself is well studied by human physicists.”
Luna cocked her head. “Physicists? But surely this is a magical phenomenon?” she asked.
Miracle noticed Celestia switching her head between the two of them, as if watching a tennis rally. Her expression spoke of not even a gram of understanding of what the two of them were talking about. “In humanity’s case, no. We achieved the required energy to split and fuse atoms through some very specific, well-machined conditions – and even then we used amounts of as small as one or two atoms at a time,” Miracle began.
“But… how could you see them?” Luna wondered. “We didn’t, at least, not directly. What we did see was the effects of their collision. We built very sensitive measuring instruments, which were able to map the path of the atoms once they collided. According to our research, for some of the experiments, the results told us quite conclusively that most of the atoms had stuck together upon colliding, smaller particles flying away as the new, larger nucleus continued on its path. That was nuclear fusion.”
Luna nodded, her eyes wide.
“But before that, there were experiments in fission, or the splitting of an atom to form smaller ones. A lot of energy is released during fission, because the nuclear strong force binds protons and neutrons so closely. During the time this research took place, it was the height of World War Two.”
Luna raised her hoof, and Miracle paused. “World War Two? A conflict where the entire world fought… for the second time?” she asked incredulously.
Miracle tilted his head from side to side in a ‘so-so’ motion. “Not quite. All the major powers fought. Lines were drawn, and everybody who was anybody picked a side. Very few larger countries managed to stay out of the war entirely. The point is, our side, the United Nations, and more specifically my old country the United States, were working on a superweapon that could end the war for good. Something that could instantly and forever change the game.” Here Miracle paused again, a look of slight regret in his eye.
“We got what we wished for.”
“Like I said, the splitting of one atom releases a lot of energy. It also releases tiny amounts of other atoms, fragments of the larger nucleus. In uranium’s case, these were an atom of barium and an atom of krypton. In this case, their chemical properties are largely unimportant. Think of them as two smaller atoms that, upon fission, start moving very fast,” he added to Luna’s uncomprehending look. She nodded, gesturing for him to continue. “What we discovered is that if we concentrated an amount of fissile uranium – uranium that could undergo this fission reaction, as opposed to uranium that could not – we found that we could start a fission chain reaction. Every pair of atoms produced by a splitting uranium atom smacked into two nearby uranium atoms, splitting them too. And so on, and so forth, until the whole sample had exploded in a colossal release of energy and radioactive particles. This was the birth of the nuclear bomb.”
Luna swallowed nervously. “How powerful were these ‘nuclear bombs’?” she wondered.
Miracle sighed. “We didn’t know. We knew so little about the monster we had created, only that it blew up things just like we wanted it to. So, after some deliberation, we decided to test it out. We dropped two bombs, just two, on the Japanese cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima.”
“The death toll was in the hundreds of thousands.”
Celestia and Luna clapped their hooves to their mouths, shocked, but Miracle went on relentlessly. “Of course, that was only the immediate death toll. Those that died instantly were just the lucky ones. The energy released was in the form of gamma radiation, a high-power form of light. This light can penetrate everything short of thick lead barriers, so the concrete-and-steel buildings of Japan didn’t stand a chance. Those who were caught in the blast radius were vaporized immediately. Those that were just outside suffered a much worse fate. Their skin melted together, blistering and cauterizing as the intense radiation damaged their internal structures beyond any repair. Some died, others managed to just barely survive. What remained of those cities, humans and buildings alike, could best be described as ‘post-apocalyptic.’”
Luna made a dry heaving sound.
“Wh-why are you telling us this?” Celestia asked tearfully.
Miracle looked at her sternly. “I am warning you, the pair of you. You said scientists wanted to know how I did this. I say that if you and they want the answers, they must have the full story. They cannot afford to repeat our mistakes. Nuclear fusion and fission can be controlled – but only with the utmost safety precautions in place. Redundancy upon redundancy is needed to ensure nothing can go wrong, and even then it’s best to have a backup plan when messing with these reactions. And now that you know the dangers, you and I can help prevent anything like that from happening to our own ponies.”
Luna took a moment to compose herself, still shuddering. “I… I am glad you are concerned about safety, and… thank you for the warning. We will do our best to prevent this outcome.”
Miracle nodded silently. “I only went into detail because I wanted to make sure you understood the consequences for failure. This isn’t some chemical reaction or distillation, where the worst-case scenario involves the loss of a few lives. Poor adherence to safety in nuclear science is a recipe for the death of millions. Which is why I never tried it,” Miracle muttered.
“And yet… you did try it. Just hours ago. And you lived… so it can be done safely,” Celestia noted.
“I still don’t know how I did that. By all accounts, splitting and recombining that many atoms should have blown up the hospital, at the very least. Did the eyewitnesses see anything unusual?” Miracle asked.
Celestia perked up. “They reported a bright blue glow, distinct from the orange color of your magic and noticeably less contained in nature. When you were done transmuting the antidote, the blue glow vanished almost like it was teleported, though our finest mages could not track where it had been sent to or even what it was.”
Miracle thought for a moment. “The blue glow is obviously high-energy neutrons – they ionize the air around them, turning it blue,” he explained. “I might have teleported them somewhere safe, which… is definitely a good thing. Neutrons are equally dangerous in their own right,” he remarked.
“What do they do?” Celestia wondered, wincing already.
“Radiation poisoning, much like that of a nuclear blast but on a less immediate scale. Your hair falls out, your internal organs stop working right, and you’ll probably get cancer,” Miracle listed. “There’s not much of a cure, beyond chemotherapy and the use of certain chemicals in supplements that can soak up radiation into safe forms, but it’s not nearly as instantly lethal as a nuclear explosion. Lead shielding and borated paraffin wax will prevent most of that,” he continued. “But… yeah. Sounds like I just tore the atoms apart, got rid of the excess neutrons, and recombined them into what I needed. Which… again, shouldn’t be possible from an energy standpoint.”
Celestia was deep in thought. “Magical surges during life-threatening situations can happen. It is most commonly seen when parents see their children in danger, allowing them to access significantly larger reserves of magic than they might otherwise be able to use. But they are still limited by what spells those unicorns know , and given that you invented an entirely new transmutation spell… frankly, I am as bewildered as you are,” she mused.
“Hasn’t any unicorn suddenly and surreptitiously knew just what to cast before?” Miracle wondered, recalling the many times the show had introduced a ‘deus ex machina’ in some way.
Celestia shook her head. “The closest occurrence that I can think of is the use of a magical artifact such as the Elements of Harmony. Those have information contained in them, vast quantities of information that we cannot hope to replicate. They are like that because they are directly linked to destiny, and thus know all possible spells that they will ever need to use,” Celestia explained.
“Interesting… and my being the Alicorn of Space wouldn’t account for it in any way?” Miracle asked.
Celestia shook her head. “Though alicorns are extremely powerful, we are not able to simply invent spells to use like that. We must do our research as much as anypony else when it comes to new magic.”
Miracle thought hard. “In that case… I dunno,” he admitted, falling back onto the bed with a sigh. “Maybe we’ll figure it out later.”
Luna appeared to be deep in thought as well. “I believe you are on to something, tying it to your aspect of Space,” she posited. “After all, there is little that has more to do with spatial magic than atomic interactions. Perhaps your special talent ‘kicked in’ somehow?” she wondered, looking over at Celestia.
Curiously, she remained silent.
“…Tia?” Luna asked.
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just… thinking,” Celestia muttered, glancing away.
“About what?” Miracle asked.
“It’s just… we had yesterday all planned out. Everything was going to be perfect , you two were going to have the best day we could give you… and then this happened,” Celestia angrily replied, squeezing her eyes shut as she apparently fought to keep herself from crying. “Why do my little ponies do this to me?! I just want you two to be here, happy , with us, and they try to assassinate my son! Why?! ” she cried, finally breaking down into tears.
“Oh, sister…” Luna sighed, immediately wrapping a wing around her.
Miracle watched for a while as Luna comforted her older sister, unsure if he should be doing something as well. Should he hug her? She might lash out at him, emotional people did that a lot in his experience. Console her? Any words would sound hollow. Make a practical suggestion as to what to do next? That would just be considered callous. So, Miracle elected to do nothing at all, reasoning that at the very least he could claim he was ‘distracted’ or something. It was only when Luna looked at him and gave a jerk of her head to signify that he join in that Miracle was compelled to rethink this decision. Hesitantly, he got off the bed he had been resting on, trotting over and gently placing a single hoof around Celestia’s barrel as he tried to hug her. She looked down at him, a few tears landing on his head.
“Sorry,” he apologized, pulling away. “I… I’m not very good at…” This was all he could get out before Celestia pulled him into a much tighter hug, smiling even as she wept.
“It’s alright,” she breathed. “You’re still here. You saved Clockwork’s life… everything is alright, as long as you are still here,” she murmured, nuzzling him.
Something stirred inside Miracle at those words, something that had been cold and dead for so long that he hardly knew what to make of it. All he knew was that, for the first time in over a decade, tears were running down his face. He felt… warm. Not just from Celestia’s body heat next to him, it was something more than that. Something that burned through his entire body, suffusing him with a feeling of… of… what? He couldn’t describe it. He couldn’t even describe what it was similar to, because he had no words in his lexicon to explain it. All he knew was that he rather liked the feeling. He wanted more of it.
…He wanted a lot more of it.
Far away, Chrysalis paused. She sniffed the air, confused. “That…” she trailed off.
“Is something wrong, Your Majesty?” a nearby drone whispered.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, then smiled. “No,” she answered, looking in the direction of Celestia’s palace. “No, it’s not.”
"Everything is going exactly according to plan."
Author's Note
I know, this chapter is double the length of the other chapters. Couldn't find a good place to split it, so I just said "eh whatever" and kept it as is.
So yeah, a lot of you saw that little secret about Miracle and Clockwork's birth coming a long way away. Before you ask, no, I've absolutely no shame. : P
Where is Discord, anyway??
He woke up in a forest. The sun shone down on his face, the leaves gently swaying as a pleasantly cooling breeze wafted through them. It took his mind a solid minute to remember to get up, and even then he was sluggish, as though he were wading through water.
His name was Josh. He was an average-height, skinny Caucasian college student with a slight paunch of a belly, rectangular glasses that were never clean, and stormy blue-gray eyes. His hair, which had once been a brilliant copper, was now slowly dulling to brown, and he liked to joke that it was slowly oxidizing from fatigue. Groaning slightly, he rubbed his eyes with loosely-balled fists, his vision fading into churning purple-and-red as he attempted to knead the ache out of his face. That done, he brushed off the bark that had been pressing into his back, his black-and-white striped sweater already wet from morning dew.
“The hell…” he muttered under his breath.
“Hey,” a familiar voice greeted off to his right, and Josh’s neck snapped over, a small crack resonating through the trees.
The person to his right was Ben, his best friend since middle school. If Josh was skinny, Ben was nothing but bones, and his slight height advantage over Josh made them almost look like an old-timey comedic duo. Had Josh been just a little shorter and fatter, they could have pulled it off, but alas, he was only a few inches down from Ben. Anyway, Ben had a curly brown afro that seemed to defy physical reality in its non-Euclidean curvature, bending in on itself as space-time compacted to provide more room for his unreal levels of hair. His brown eyes were the same shade as his hair, which combined with his even paler skin than Josh’s made him look like one of those chocolate-and-vanilla-flavored specialty treats that would occasionally be sold at grocery stores before slowly fading into capitalist oblivion.
“Finally awake, huh?” Ben asked, hunched over.
“Yeah,” Josh groaned as he sat up, stretching out. “Wait… what the hell, man? Where are we?”
Ben shrugged. “Dunno, I woke up a… an hour?... a while before you did. Last I remember, I was just about to head out to school.”
Josh snorted. “Last I remember, I was over in Cleveland, not doing anything even remotely resembling work. So unless I got drunk again and messed with the teleporter, I don’t think our being here at the same time is possible.”
There was no teleporter, nor had Josh ever swallowed a drop of alcohol in his life. Due to his longstanding passion for science and engineering, Ben had early on dubbed Josh “a literal science,” which was by now an old and favored in-joke between the two.
Ben, following customs they had never deviated from since they had met, chuckled at the joke. “Yeah, yeah. All things considered, though, you think we got kidnapped and dumped somewhere?”
Josh shook his head. “Nah, bro. If we were kidnapped, they’d never just dump us. At least, not alive .”
He took a moment to search around, and quickly discovered that he had nothing in his pockets. "Where's my phone! Where's my wallet ? I've been robbed !" he exclaimed, frantically pulling at different pockets in his jeans in an attempt to find his missing items.
Ben, meanwhile, simply shrugged, a smile tugging at his face as he observed Josh's antics. "Same. Looks like whoever dumped us here took our stuff, because I definitely had my phone and car keys and stuff in my pockets." Josh sighed angrily, adopting a pouting expression.
Ben tugged at the collar of his t-shirt awkwardly, glancing around. “…Right, yeah. Well… shit, what now?”
Josh shrugged, which was his go-to reaction to any and all things that happened to him. “I guess… we head for civilization. Hell, it’ll make for an interesting story to tell, at the very least.”
The pair of them got up, stretching some more as they shook the last of the exhaustion from their bones. “So… um… do you have any idea how to get back?” Ben prompted, sounding nervous.
“Yeah, we gotta look for a river first. Civilizations are always downstream… or is it upstream? No, it’s downstream, upstream wouldn’t make any fucking sense,” Josh mused.
“Well, at least one of us was a Boy Scout,” Ben muttered.
“Damn skippy. I just wish I remembered how to tie more than two knots,” Josh joked. “Still, I have no clue how to find a river, so I guess we just pick a direction and start walking?”
Ben held up a finger. “Wait. You hear that?”
Josh fell silent, ears straining to pick up sounds underneath the background noise of the dense forest they were in. “…No,” he admitted after a moment. Josh loved to listen to loud music, so it was entirely possible his ears had lost some of their prior hearing capabilities.
“I think I hear water rushing,” Ben declared, striding off in the complete opposite direction than Josh had picked. “Come on.”
Josh looked after him for a moment, then shrugged, rolled his eyes, and followed.
To his mild surprise, Ben had been right. A river gently babbled before them, songbirds chirping over the rush of the water.
“Well, what do you know,” Josh declared, raising an eyebrow. “This’ll do.”
Ben pumped a fist. “Score one for me!”
Josh chuckled, surveying the river. “Damn, this would be a fantastic place to go gold panning if I had my stuff with me.”
Ben smirked over at him. “Oh? Gonna get rich off of this river?”
Josh, who had been scanning the river, remained silent, walking forward into the river and ignoring the freezing temperature of the water. “Hey, what the-“ Ben began, but stopped as Josh stooped over and plunged his arm into the water. Pulling his prize out, he walked back to the shore, struggling slightly against the current but grinning like a madman. He unclutched his fist to reveal his new treasure: A thumb-sized lump of gold, glinting bright yellow in the sunlight.
“You know what? Maybe I will,” Josh finished, a hint of excitement creeping into his tone.
“H-holy shit,” Ben breathed, staring at it. “Can I… see that?”
For a moment, Josh stared at Ben, wondering what his intent was. Then, he shrugged and deposited the nugget in Ben’s hands, grinning. “Sure. After all, if there’s one, there’s more…”
Josh and Ben set about looking for more gold nuggets. To their half-elation, half-disappointment, there was only one more, a smaller chip hidden under a boulder that Josh had just barely managed to push over.
“Well, hey, look on the bright side: Any amount of gold is a good amount,” Josh quipped. “Besides, we can just come back here with proper equipment without telling anyone. Hell, if this is unclaimed land, we can submit a claim with the money we get from these two nuggets.”
Ben was still clutching the piece Josh had given in delight. “Holy shit, man, we’re gonna be rich!” he repeated for the fourth time.
Josh rolled his eyes, though his belly shaking gave away his laughter. “I know. But… hmm. I might just use a bit of this for some gold chemistry. Not much opportunity for that as an amateur, y’know?”
Ben laughed. “Dude. Sell the nugget, you can use the money to buy tons of science stuff!”
Josh stroked his beard in thought. “You may be on to something. Anyway, let’s move on. We can always come back to this place, and we need to find some food soon.”
Ben’s stomach grumbled in agreement, and he looked sheepishly at Josh as they started walking downstream. “Yeah… do you know what’s edible in the forest?”
Josh shook his head. “I didn’t pay too much attention to that, so I’m going to go with ‘trust nothing.’ Every berry, mushroom and plant in this place could be edible, or they could be really bad for us. We’ll probably have to stick with animals if we’re going to be in here for a while.”
Ben hummed in thought. “So, should we craft weapons and stuff to hunt with?”
Josh nodded. “Look for some decent size sticks. If we’re lucky, there’ll be some rocks in the river that have been freshly split instead of rounded; we can use those for carving.”
Ben whistled. “Damn, yo, for someone who claims they never pay attention, you know your shit.”
Josh laughed. “Honestly? I’m making half this shit up.”
Ben snorted, and began to look for fallen tree branches.
An hour later, they had two wooden ‘spears’, and a bow Josh had managed to fashion out of a particularly springy stick and some grass he’d woven together.
“Fuck – this bowstring keeps snapping!” he complained as it did so for the fifth time, flicking him on the face.
“What did the Scouts use?” Ben asked curiously.
Josh rolled his eyes. “Plastic bowstrings that were in a kit. Historically , they used the tendons of animals, which worked really well but probably degraded quickly.” They trudged onward, their initial joy at finding precious metal dampened by the aches in their stomachs.
“Hey, you know what I just noticed?” Josh thought aloud a while later.
“What?” Ben asked, sounding a bit tired from all the walking.
“The sun hasn’t moved for the whole damn time we’ve been moving, and it’s been hours . It’s just stayed up there in the sky.”
Ben followed his gaze to the ball of light, shielding his face from the glare before removing his hand in consternation. “Hey, I can look at it without blinding myself. What the hell?” he asked.
Josh tried this for himself, and squinted at the white circle in the sky suspiciously. “That… can’t be right. The rods and cones in our eyes shouldn’t be able to handle any amount of light from a black-body like the Sun. What the fuck …?” he wondered.
“Okay, now I’m scared,” Ben announced, drawing closer to Josh. “Josh? Is there… is there some sciency explanation for this?”
Josh thought hard. “Well, two things. Either the Sun has gone so far through its lifespan that it's now dying , which means we’ve traveled at least a few billion years forward through time, or… we’re on another planet entirely , which somehow has the correct concentration of oxygen and recognizable lifeforms. Those are the two most likely occurrences I can think of,” he theorized. Ben began breathing heavily, and Josh paused a moment, a momentary flicker of regret showing on his face. “Hey, hey! Calm down. Neither of those two possibilities necessarily prevents us from getting home! If we traveled forward through time, or landed on another planet, there might be a more advanced civilization than humanity that can help us get back!”
Ben took a few deep breaths. “Right, right… okay. Calming down now. Um… so how exactly did the two of us travel through time, again?” he asked.
Josh shrugged helplessly. “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m working off of pretty much nothing here. For all we know, we’ve landed in fucking Narnia.”
Ben paused a moment. “You know, the really sad thing is that’s actually a reasonable possibility,” he considered.
"Yeah, I can’t wait to meet Jesus Metaphor er I mean Aslan,” Josh grumbled.
Ben’s eyes widened. “Wait… holy shit .”
Josh laughed, caught off guard by Ben’s look of shock and realization. “Did you seriously not catch that?”
Ben shook his head. “No! I mean… dammit Josh !”
Josh laughed again. “We could also be in Equestria,” he joked.
“You wish!” Ben shot back.
“I do wish, that’d be pretty cool. Although, maybe not if it’s one of those Equestrias where everything is terrible and the Princesses are xenophobes or nymphomaniacs or something like that,” Josh rambled.
Ben rolled his eyes.
About a half hour later, they had resumed silently trudging next to the river. Suddenly, there was the sound of a snapping branch behind them, and Ben whirled around, Josh turning around more slowly. A few feet back, something ducked into the trees, a glimpse of black and dark blue all that was visible as it quickly vanished.
“The hell was that?” Ben asked.
“Probably some local wildlife that was trying to hunt us. Relax, it looked smaller than we are,” Josh dismissed.
“Which means, if I remember right, that it’s either poisonous or a really vicious predator,” Ben pointed out.
Josh considered this, a worried frown appearing on his face. “Point taken. Okay, if they ambush us, head for the river and jump in. They probably can’t swim much faster than the river current if they’re land animals, and you can easily gain some distance.”
Ben looked at Josh. “Wait… why haven’t we just floated down the river this whole time?”
Josh leveled his gaze at him. “Hypothermia, fish that can bite, rocks, rapids, waterfalls …”
Ben slapped a hand to his forehead. “Okay, okay, point taken.”
To their relief, nothing else disturbed them in the following hours. The sun was still high in the sky, a fact which both of them refused to acknowledge or look at.
“Damn, this goes on forever . We might have to make camp,” Josh declared.
“Oh shit, I think not,” Ben teased, an unmistakably excited tone to his voice as he pointed.
Josh followed his gaze, a grin coming to his own face. Just barely visible over the treetops was the unmistakable gray of a building.
They ran towards it, laughing and crying as they tossed their makeshift weapons to the side.
“Home free, fuck yeah !” Josh exclaimed.
“FREEDOM!” Ben cheered, raising a triumphant fist in the air.
Their enthusiasm was short-lived as they entered a new clearing. The building was very clearly destroyed, the rubble of carved stone bricks and shattered glass windows littering what used to be a courtyard.
“…Shit,” Josh exclaimed, looking around. “If we’re in Narnia, I think this is Book 4. What with the ruined castle of the Pevensies, and whatever...”
Ben gazed up at the ruined building. “This does look weirdly like a castle. But… it looks like there are a few sections with the roofing still intact. If nothing else, we’ll have a roof over our heads.”
Josh nodded. “Right… let’s see if we can find our way inside.”
To their surprise, the building had its own moat, though the water had long since drained. “Ah, hell, what now ?” Josh complained, searching for a way forward.
“Nah, it’s cool, there’s a rope bridge,” Ben commented, pointing over at a dilapidated bridge about thirty feet to their left.
Josh examined the bridge with a critical eye. “Old ropes, rotten planks… Ben, that’s not a bridge. It’s a death trap,” Josh rebuked.
“Any better way forward? I’m not staying out in the cold with a building right in front of us,” Ben shot back.
Josh moved over to a nearby tree. The wood was slightly rotten, and the roots didn’t look too big… “Help me push this,” he commanded. Ben, seeing what he intended, rushed over to help, and the tree just barely moved from the strain. “This… might take a while,” Josh noted uncertainly.
“If we give it one big push, it should move it more than a sustained little push, right?” Ben posited.
“Yeah… coefficient of static friction is higher than coefficient of kinetic friction, or something,” Josh huffed.
“…I… don’t think that’s what’s going on here, but whatever. Slam this sucker, on three! One… two… THREE!” Ben yelled, charging forward.
Josh hurriedly joined in, and between the two of them they managed to tilt the tree just a few degrees. Josh went around the side to examine this, and gave the thumbs-up to Ben. “Keep going, it’s working!” he declared.
“One… two… THREE!” Ben repeated, and they bashed it again, Josh grunting as he put his full weight onto the tree trunk.
This time, it moved more, branches shifting in the wind.
“One more!” Josh called out, wondering how the two of them were strong enough to move the entire root system of a tree. Maybe it was old?
They repeated once more, and the tree slowly creaked and groaned before falling forward.
“TIMBERRRR!” Ben called out gleefully as the tree came crashing down onto the opposite ledge of the moat. The two of them sat down for a moment, panting at their exertion and hunger.
It took a few minutes, but the two of them finally picked themselves back up and made their way across the bridge. The tree creaked some more, and it wasn’t easy to keep their balance on the log, but eventually they made it across without incident.
“Just like a balance beam back in gym class,” Josh remarked, breathing a sigh of relief as he hopped down onto safe ground.
“Okay, so. We’re in a destroyed castle. Still no sign of civilization, but we know they exist at the very least. No food, and if I don’t eat something soon I’m going to pass out,” Ben recapped.
“Let’s see if there’s any storerooms in this castle. Grains keep pretty well if they’re dry, if I recall correctly,” Josh noted.
They entered the courtyard proper, the ruins of smashed statues and torn cloth strewn about. “Hey, look here,” Josh pointed out, examining a banner. Ben walked over to join him, and he pointed at some stitch marks. “These are a different thread than the rest, and in a lot better shape. Looks like it might be part of a restoration effort,” he theorized.
Ben brightened. “So we just landed somewhere in Europe, or something?” he wondered.
“Hopefully, yeah. In that case, there should be an area where the restoration workforce rests, or hangs out, or something,” Josh added. “Let’s keep moving.”
They had almost made it through the courtyard when Ben did a double take, Josh looking back in confusion after he realized his friend had stopped.
“What’s up?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Ben walked over to a particular piece of debris, kicking it with his boot. “No way. No fucking way, ” he muttered under his breath.
“What are you…” Josh trailed off as he too examined what Ben had found.
It was the head of a statue, but not anything human, or recognizable from Greco-Roman or modern interpretations of sculpture. No, this was a decidedly alien style. The face was round and smooth, not terribly detailed but all the more beautiful for it. The eyes, taking up perhaps half the height of the head, were wide open, with no pupils or irises – just a pair of convex ovals set slightly inward from the face. The ears were pointed, and facing directly upwards, reminiscent of a deer’s or other such non-human fauna, but significantly larger. One ear had been chipped halfway off, and the other was cracked enough that Josh was sure it would follow suit as soon as he touched it. Finally, to top off the whole thing, a spiraling gray horn was set directly into the middle of the forehead, tapering to a lethal point. It stared at him blankly, almost daring him to ruminate on its appearance.
For a moment, neither of them dared to speak. Josh's vision swam as he tried to think about this artifact, only to find that his brain had checked out, leaving the note "Nope, not putting up with this shit anymore" as it slammed the door behind it.
“Oh my god,” Ben whispered as he knelt down. “Josh, do you know what this means?”
Josh took a seat beside the thing, running a finger over the smooth marble surface. For a moment, he couldn't bring himself to speak. “We’re in Equestria. The Castle of the Two Sisters,” he answered softly. And then it really hit him.
They were actually in Equestria.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” Ben trailed off.
Josh remained silent, though inwardly he was reeling. It was finally happening . He’d written about this countless times, dreamed about it, thought about what he might do, who he might talk to… but this was the real thing .
They sat for a while, just the two of them, alone with their thoughts and the statue. Ben began hyperventilating, managing to calm himself down with what seemed like a heroic effort. Meanwhile, Josh simply sat there, blank, unable to rationalize or even think. All thoughts of survival had been driven out of their heads, replaced with a single, unanimous "what the fuck?" that refused to disappear from their thought processes no matter how hard they tried to move on. Eventually, however, their stomachs reminded them of their true mission, and Josh shifted awkwardly.
“Okay… well… we know we’re not alone,” he announced, managing to string together a coherent thought for the first time in a solid half hour. “And we have people – uh, ponies – that have some experience in cross-universe teleportation. Hell, things are looking up. We’ll get y- us back to Earth in no time. All we have to do is punch a few manticores, and befriend Twilight Sparkle.”
Ben looked at him strangely, and Josh stared right back – it might have been a Freudian slip, but there was no way he was admitting it.
“…Anyway… first things first. There’s gotta be some food around here somewhere, Twilight wouldn’t fix up this place for hours if she didn’t store snacks,” Ben declared, striding off towards the nearest hallway. Josh noticed that Ben treated the door with a lot more reverence, electing to gently open it instead of yanking at the handle. Almost as if Ben thought that now they were in Equestria, the place deserved a lot more respect. Josh smirked, catching the door as it swung back and stepping into the hallway before gently closing the door behind him.
“They could have brought some food in a picnic basket, and then packed it out,” Josh pointed out, as they traversed the randomly chosen hallway. It was lined with pony-shaped suits of armor, which Josh and Ben stared at in far more intrigue than would be given to the human equivalents. The metal was untarnished, despite clearly being centuries old, and the chiseled features in each suit appeared to be custom-made for specific ponies.
“Let me dream, Josh!” Ben called back, examining a different suit before continuing down the corridor.
Josh snorted with amusement and followed after, a slight feeling of excitement burning in his chest.
It took a while, but they eventually found what appeared to be some sort of kitchen, after a few hours of searching. To Josh's surprise, Ben was right: Twilight had food stored here. A few sandwiches were lying out in the open, unblemished despite the plates having dust on them.
“Are we sure these are safe to eat? They’re probably rotten,” Ben worried.
Josh picked one up to examine it. “Looks like they’re good – at least, the bread is. Nice and soft. So I guess it’s some kind of preservation spell? I really hope that doesn’t apply while inside our stomachs, because otherwise this’ll accomplish exactly nothing.”
Ben chuckled. “Hopefully magic is a little more advanced than that.”
They bit into the sandwiches gratefully, scarfing them down with barely a thought to manners or the fact that they were stealing.
“Disgusting, but probably healthy,” Josh quipped, swallowing the last of his only meal for what felt like six hours.
“Eh, mine was alright. Some fruit spread,” Ben remarked.
“Lucky . I got the flowers, I think,” Josh grumbled.
“Hey, at least we’ve got food. There’s a couple more back here,” Ben pointed out, and Josh brightened.
“Okay, let’s take a rest here, and pack those for tomorrow. Wait!” He called out as Ben made to do just that. “Don’t touch those yet. The spell or whatever might stop if you pick them up.”
Ben nodded, moving his hand away from the tantalizingly close slices of bread. “Good thinking,” he replied. “Let’s go find a place to sleep for the night.”
They decided to sleep in the beds of the Princesses themselves, as these were by far the best kept in the entire castle.
“Whoa, the sun dropped,” Ben exclaimed as he viewed the night sky, moonlight filtering into Luna’s room as the two of them explored the room in the darkness.
“Hey, what’s this?” Josh wondered, leaning down to examine one of the objects in Luna’s cluttered room. It was a tiny bed, complete with a pillow the size of Josh's head and a little tucked-in blanket.
“A baby crib? I didn’t know Luna had a kid. Though, I haven't watched anything past season 3...” Ben commented.
“Neither did I. As far as we know, she doesn’t . The hell does this say…” Josh trailed off as he tried to decipher the name inscribed into a brass plaque on the side of the miniature bed. “’Miracle Matter.’ Sounds like a really bad sexual euphemism,” Josh remarked.
“For what… oh, come on!” Ben caught on, elbowing him in the shoulder while Josh chuckled.
“What? It’s an awful name. Whoever had it should be ashamed of themselves for having it,” he continued.
“Pfft. Whatever, dude. I call Celestia’s bed,” Ben answered, walking over to a side door that connected the two sisters’ rooms.
“Fine by me, Luna’s bed is pretty sweet,” Josh shot back.
“Hey, there’s another one here!” Ben called out.
“What?” Josh replied.
“Another baby crib! This one says… ‘Clockwork Chronology.’ I guess he had power over time, or something?” Ben wondered.
“Damn, that’s a way better name than Miracle Matter. Celestia’s kid must have been cool ,” Josh commented.
Ben laughed. “Better not mention that in front of Luna, she might just flip,” he teased. Josh laughed in return, and they made their way to bed.
Some time later, Josh tossed and turned, unable to get to bed. One thought just kept nagging at his mind…
“Hey, Ben?”
“Uh… what is it, dude?”
“It really sucks that we’re not black.”
Ben burst out laughing. “What? ”
“Think about it!” Josh exclaimed. “I’ve read, like, a thousand fanfictions about this place. And in all but three of them, maybe , the protagonists were white American males. We’re not setting a good standard here.”
“Oh my god, Josh. Go the fuck to sleep.”
“…Fine…”
And all was silent.
They spent some time quietly relaxing in Luna’s room. Ben continued reading his book while Josh and Luna finished up their earlier experiment, Luna being delighted to find small, silvery spheres of potassium in the flask. Josh grinned as he transferred them into a vial, placing it on a shelf full of other compounds as Luna beamed at him.
“Our first experiment together,” she murmured, looking at the vial of silver-blue potassium metal reverently. “I shall remember it always.”
Josh blushed, and looked away, saying nothing. The embarrassed grin on his face spoke volumes, however.
That done, Luna took a seat next to Ben, watching him read with a contented look on her face. Josh, noticing the lull in activity, laid down next to Luna, curling his head into her lap. The last thing he heard before he drifted off was “Wow, he must really trust you…”
What felt like quite a while later, Josh woke up again to gentle shaking.
“Hey, get up, it’s time for dinner,” Ben murmured.
“One sec,” Josh groaned, getting to his feet.
He shook the numbness out of his body, Luna watching as he adjusted his skewed glasses.
“Ready?” she asked, and Josh mutely nodded.
Luna began trotting towards the Dining Hall, Ben following smartly while Josh sleepily stumbled along.
“Gah, I feel like it should be breakfast,” Josh grumbled as he took his seat next to Luna.
Ben laughed. “That’s what you get for taking such a long nap. Good luck sleeping tonight,” he quipped, and Josh groaned in dismay at the thought of being unable to sleep.
Celestia trotted in a few minutes later, taking her seat next to Luna at the head of the table. “Hello, Ben and Josh. How has your day been?” she inquired.
“Good,” Ben answered amicably.
“Restful,” Josh joked.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” she commented.
“He fell asleep for hours. It was adorable,” Ben ribbed, and Josh smiled slightly.
The other guests began to file in, and Josh gazed curiously at the nobles and assorted high-society. Some looked nervous, presumably because they were sharing a table with the most important ponies in Equestria. Some simply looked bored – Josh singled them out as the ‘experienced’ ones. One stared back at him.
“Auntie… who are these, and why is this one sitting in my spot?” Prince Blueblood asked, trotting up to examine Ben.
Celestia appeared surprised, then returned to her usual serene demeanor. “They are two ambassadors from a faraway land. Tonight, we are showing them the proper respect.”
Satisfied, Blueblood nodded and looked at Ben. “I am going to sit over here ,” he enunciated loudly, as though talking to a child. “You may keep your seat.”
Ben glanced at him distastefully. “I’m an alien … not an idiot ,” he rebuked.
Blueblood blushed scarlet, and there were muffled giggles from around the table. Without another word, Blueblood chose a seat as far away from Ben as he could, and Celestia sighed, watching him go.
“Sorry about that,” she apologized to Ben. “He’s…”
Josh sighed. “We know,” he cut in, and Celestia stared at him in surprise before nodding to herself.
“Right, right…”
Once the initial drama had died down, the rest of the meal went without incident. The meal itself was generous helpings of pasta and garlic bread, which Josh and Ben happily downed, Josh paying special attention to the garlic bread.
“Okay, you need to stop,” Ben remarked as Josh finished off yet another basket.
“I can’t help it, it’s delicious,” Josh whined.
Luna chuckled. “True, but it comes with a price. Namely, your breath,” she quipped.
Josh rolled his eyes. “Worth it,” he replied, grabbing yet another slice.
After the meal, Celestia and Luna led the pair of them to their bedrooms, where Josh was surprised to see a bed of his size set up next to Luna’s.
“You want us to sleep… in your rooms?” he queried, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course,” Luna answered. “Is this not what families do on your world?”
Josh and Ben looked at each other. “…No,” Ben answered carefully.
Luna awkwardly scuffed a hoof on the floor. “Oh… well… we can move it, if you are more comfortable sleeping… alone?”
Josh looked at the bed appraisingly. It looked large, and difficult to move, which made him wonder how it had gotten here in the first place. Teleportation, maybe? “…You know what, it’s fine,” he answered after a moment. “I’ll be fine.” He slipped his shoes off and slid under the covers, only to poke his head back out as he realized the others were staring at him.
“Isn’t it only around six in the evening?” Ben wondered.
“At least brush your teeth first,” Luna reminded him.
“Oh. Right. Um… do you have a toothbrush I could borrow?” Josh asked.
Luna giggled. “I had toiletries sent up this morning, do not fear. Come, they are in mine bathing room,” she enticed, Josh reluctantly slipping out of bed.
“I… I think I’ll sleep somewhere else tonight,” Ben said to Celestia as Josh and Luna headed for the bathroom.
“Oh… okay,” Celestia answered, lighting her horn. “I’ve teleported the bed to... Suite 508. Would you like to be escorted there?” Celestia asked nervously.
“…No, I think I can find it. Thank you, though,” Ben replied, excusing himself.
Celestia watched him go, a forlorn expression on her face.
A few minutes later, Josh had brushed his teeth and slipped back into bed, staring up at the ceiling.
“Are you okay, Josh? You seem… preoccupied,” Luna worried.
Josh chuckled tiredly. “Considering I’m a prince on a fictional alien planet… I’m not sure what you expected.”
Luna huffed a sigh. “That is still… very hard to believe for us. Perhaps you could show us this work of fiction, on… what was your planet called, again?”
Josh closed his eyes. “Earth,” he answered. “What’s this place called?”
Luna smirked, looking at him incredulously. “Anima,” she answered proudly. “An ancient word meaning ‘Soul.’”
Josh opened his eyes again, looking at her in interest. “Soul, huh? Interesting.”
Luna chuckled. “It’s better than ‘dirt,’” she ribbed, and Josh chuckled again. “Goodnight, my sweet prince,” the Princess of the Night softly murmured, dousing the lamp as she got into her own bed.
“Goodnight,” Josh sleepily mumbled.
But, try as he might, Josh simply could not sleep. Princess Luna had slipped off a while ago, her soft breathing and the rise and fall of her chest almost hypnotic in their regularity. Josh stared at the dark, moonlit ceiling, regretting taking a nap earlier.
Hours passed, though to Josh it felt like an eternity. Finally, as he was staring at the moon, something happened: A shadow flashed across the window. Curious, Josh looked over. He could just barely make out…
He got out of bed, crossing to the window and stepping on a few crinkled, strewn papers along the way – thankfully, Luna did not appear to wake. Had Josh been more awake, he might have commented that her strategic maneuver wasn't working. Josh looked out the window, confirming his suspicions:
Somepony was watching them from the roof.
He couldn’t make out their coat color, or anything else – it was simply too dark. But he thought he caught a flash of blue as they looked at his window. As soon as they caught sight of him, they fell off, flailing before flying away as fast as they could. Josh watched them go, too tired to even question what he had just seen. Without another word, he returned to his bed. And, almost like magic, he slipped away from reality...
Sunlight filtered in from the opened window, irritating Josh as he rolled over in his bed to escape the glare.
“Awake, Josh, it is time to begin your day,” Luna whispered into his ear.
“I’ll begin my day when I feel like it,” Josh grumbled, burying himself deeper into the bed.
Luna giggled. “Then perhaps I shall eat this delicious breakfast by myself,” she teased.
Josh gave no response.
“Oh, come on, please ? ‘Tia is holding court, and I want to eat breakfast with you,” the Princess of the Night pouted.
“Fine…” Josh grumbled, swinging his legs over and standing up. Rubbing his eyes to clear them, he looked down and realized he’d been sleeping in his day clothes. “Remind me to pick up some pajamas when we stop by Earth…” he muttered as Luna led him to the dining hall.
He found Ben eating there already, looking as though he’d had a restless night.
“Not much sleep either, huh?” Josh tiredly greeted.
“Yeah… I… I’m just a little nervous,” Ben admitted shakily. “Going back to my parents, and telling them… uh…” he trailed off.
Luna placed a comforting wing on his back. “Do not worry, I am sure you will do wonderfully,” she soothed.
For some reason, Ben didn’t seem consoled. “Right, so, um… how was your night?” he asked Josh, who shrugged.
“Couldn’t really sleep, but it was alright.” Finally waking up somewhat, he noticed his best friend’s demeanor. “Hey. Don’t worry. It’ll be weird and dramatic, but in the end, it’ll be fine. We’re all mature adults here,” he softly reminded Ben.
Ben nodded, relaxing slightly. “Right… mature adults…” he muttered, glancing at Luna.
“So, where is the magic mirror? Last I heard, it was in the Crystal Kingdom,” Josh wondered.
“It has actually been moved to Princess Twilight’s castle,” Luna informed him. “We are going to head over there today, as the mirror begins its three-day period of activity in just a few hours. The spell takes approximately thirty moons to recharge, and setting it to go to a different universe will take quite a bit of expertise.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “If I recall, the train from Ponyville to here took quite a while. How are we going to get there in time?”
Luna smiled. “You forget that we are capable of teleportation,” she reminded him. “And for such a matter as this, we do not mind teleporting such a distance,” she hastily added as Ben made to open his mouth.
“Will you be coming through with us?” Ben asked after a moment.
“Of course!” Luna exclaimed. “We wish to meet the humans who have raised you to be such a fine, upstanding gentlecolt!”
Ben smiled awkwardly. “Right, right…” he trailed off, leaving Josh to ruminate silently. “I just hope we aren’t stranding Sunset Shimmer,” he noted in dismay.
Luna shook her head. “We are confident that we can recalibrate the spell, now that Princess Twilight has posited her model on its workings.” Satisfied, Ben sat back and resumed his meal.
“What’s keeping Celestia?” Ben wondered a short while later, as the waiters whisked away their plates and they made to exit the dining hall.
“She is cancelling all appointments for today, on account of you,” Luna answered.
Ben blushed and looked away. “…Oh,” he muttered.
Luna looked over in worry. “Do not be sad. She is more than happy to do this for you,” Luna added, smiling up at him. “She will be done in just a moment. Would you two like to bring anything with you?” she offered.
Ben shook his head, but Josh took a moment to think.
“Josh?” Luna prompted.
“A duffle bag, for my stuff,” was his only answer.
Princess Celestia arrived a few minutes later, looking disgruntled. “Blueblood attempted to flatter me into signing it again,” she muttered to Luna, who scowled.
“Were this a thousand years ago, he wouldst be consigned to the dungeons for such treason,” she grumbled in reply.
The two Princesses realized that Josh and Ben were still there, and hastily brightened their expressions. “We shall leave shortly,” Celestia informed the two of them. “Is there anything you would like to take with you?”
Luna held up a hoof. “Josh has requested a ‘duffle bag,’ for his belongings,” she answered. “Sister, what is a ‘duffle bag?’”
Celestia looked at Josh strangely. “It is a very large sack, for carrying large amounts of objects in a single container. I shall provide one when we arrive,” she replied, and Josh nodded in satisfaction. With that, Celestia lit her horn a bright yellow. “Are you ready?” she asked.
“Teleportation doesn’t hurt, does it?” Ben asked nervously.
Celestia shook her head, smiling gently. “Close your eyes…” she instructed, and the two humans obediently did so. There was the sound of a magical pop, and a cool breeze blew over them as Celestia giggled. “And open them again,” she finished.
Josh opened his eyes, and looked around with shock to find that their surroundings had completely changed. The warm, stagnant air of Canterlot had been replaced by the blustery Ponyville day, ponies gaping at the sudden appearance of Princess Luna, Princess Celestia and two humans in the town square.
“Do not fear, we are merely visiting,” Celestia called out to the masses, who hastily nodded and went about their business.
“Huh. Didn’t feel a thing,” Josh noted, examining his hands to try and find any differences.
“Princess Celestia!” a voice called from far away, and they found Twilight excitedly galloping towards them.
“Hello, Princess Twilight!” Celestia warmly greeted, and Twilight leaped into her for a nuzzle.
“I just got your letter – it’s good to see you two again!” Twilight greeted Josh and Ben, looking over as she bowed. Josh and Ben bowed back.
“Good to see you too. How’s the festival going?” Josh asked.
“It’s going wonderfully, and with the Princesses themselves here I bet it’s going to be even better!” Twilight excitedly squealed.
Princess Celestia looked away. “Actually, Twilight, we are here to escort these two humans home, so we will be unable to attend the festivities for at least three days.”
Twilight looked at her curiously. “But why three… oh …” Twilight realized.
Celestia nodded. “I believe I can reconfigure Star Swirl’s mirror to find their planet of origin. Would you mind taking us to it?”
Twilight furiously nodded. “Of course! Follow me, everypony,” she commanded, leading them towards her castle.
“Who’s going to raise the sun and moon?” Josh wondered.
Celestia smiled. “We are still connected to our sun and moon through the portal. The ‘distance’ between the link will not significantly change.”
Shrugging, Josh and Ben accepted this, and continued forward.
The mirror was situated deep within the castle, through many winding corridors. Starlight accompanied them curiously, nodding at Josh as the six of them traversed the Castle of Friendship.
“Hard to believe we’re going back to Earth so soon,” Ben muttered to Josh.
“Yeah… this typically isn’t this easy,” Josh muttered back.
Finally, Twilight opened one last door, and they came to Star Swirl’s Crystal Mirror. It was shaped like a horseshoe, or perhaps an omega symbol, the bluish reflective glass inside gently shimmering with some soft, unseen light.
“Here it is,” Twilight announced. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, but I have to get back and plan the Festival. Safe travels, you two!” she called to Josh and Ben as she left the room. Starlight quickly followed, a nervous expression on her face as she hurried after Twilight.
Once they were gone, Josh turned to Celestia and Luna. “Hey, before we go, I just wanted to bring up one thing,” he began, Celestia and Luna looking at him expectantly.
“Yes?” Luna asked curiously.
“You might be tempted to use your magic to alter the sun and moon once we get to Earth. On account of the moon appearing during the day, the sun being too bright, or some such. Don’t . You’ll kill everyone,” Josh urgently demanded.
“Of course. Thank you for warning us,” Celestia accepted. Josh nodded, looking relieved.
“So, how long does recalibrating the Mirror take?” Ben wondered.
“Not very long at all,” Celestia answered, a smile on her face. She lit her horn once, a bright yellow light enveloping Josh before quickly dissipating. Lighting her horn again, the Mirror began to glow yellow, until a superimposed image was present on the surface. Josh recognized his house, his parents’ cars not visible in the driveway.
“Well, they’re not home… Great, let’s get this over with,” he sighed, stepping through.
“Wait! I haven’t finished!” Celestia began, but it was too late; Josh had already touched the mirror with his shoe.
The Mirror glowed brighter and brighter, and the last thing Josh heard was Ben screaming “What’s happening to him?! Josh?! JOSH!”
And everything went black.
As soon as Josh returned to consciousness, there was a sense of overwhelming, blinding panic. A sense of burning, fiery heat washed over him, and he felt oddly… shorter . He opened his eyes, finding that he was on the driveway of his house, in the exact spot where they had been looking. He slowly looked back at his body.
To his shock, he’d turned bright, coppery orange. A tufted, feathery appendage jutted from his ribcage, and he could feel it, like a second arm. There was another one on the other side, but it had gotten stuck under the rest of his body, and was quickly cramping. His clothes were strewn off to the side, and his tail – he had a tail, now?! – was a slightly darker shade of orange, somewhat comparable to what his hair had been as a human. Finally, he noticed the swirling green vortex on his flank. Looking up once to confirm his suspicions, Josh instantly noticed the horn jutting out of his forehead.
A second later, Celestia, Luna and Ben tumbled out of a glowing hole in reality just behind him, scrambling over to him.
“Josh! Are you alright?!” Luna queried, but stopped short as she caught sight of him.
“Um… Yes…?” Josh answered, picking himself up. He wobbled for a moment, then fell over onto his other side, emitting a muffled yelp. Her trance broken, Luna immediately rushed to his side, propping him up and levitating him onto her back.
“I’m so sorry – I can change you back, it’ll be okay!” Luna hurriedly apologized.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright!” Josh soothed, raising his two front hooves up in an attempted gesture of comfort before realizing he was about to slip off her back. “It was my own fault, for going through before the mirror was ready. I’m okay,” he answered. He spent a few minutes trying to stand up, Luna assisting as necessary.
“So… this is what you look like as a pony, huh?” Ben wondered.
Josh looked up at him, noting just how much taller Ben was compared to him now. He barely even came up to Ben’s chest, and he thought if he reared up, he might be able to reach Ben’s shoulders.
“Looks like it. Is this… what Miracle Matter looked like?” he wondered, looking at Luna.
She brushed a tear away from her eye, smiling down at him. “You were younger… but yes… it’s really you ,” she murmured, before hugging him tightly, crying and smiling as she held him for dear life. Josh awkwardly sat there as she embraced him, looking half elated and half terrified at the sudden and violent display of affection.
As Luna slowly calmed down, still hugging Josh and nuzzling him for all she was worth, Celestia cleared her throat. “Sister… we appear to be in the middle of a road,” she reminded Luna.
Luna immediately came back to her senses, looking around and blushing profusely. “Right! Yes, what were we doing again?” she asked, grinning sheepishly.
“Collecting my stuff,” Josh answered.
“Ah. And… your parents...?” Luna wondered, trailing off.
“They’re not home at the moment,” Josh replied, looking again at the driveway. “If they arrive… then I’ll explain. If not… then I’ll leave a note.”
He stumbled his way over to his front door, Luna helping him along the way. “Do you live with your parents still, Josh?” Luna asked, clearly trying to make small talk as she helped him walk.
“No,” Josh answered, thankful for the distraction. “I go to college across the continent. Most of my stuff is here, though, so it's good we stopped here first.”
Luna nodded. “…How big is this planet, anyway?” she wondered.
“Planet Earth has an approximate radius of six thousand, three hundred and seventy-one kilometers,” Josh immediately answered.
Luna’s eyes widened. “That is… substantially bigger than Anima,” she noted.
“Okay… there used to be a spare key around here, but I don’t know if we still do that. Whenever I lost my house key, I’d just go over to the neighbors and ask… but I don’t think that would work,” Josh noted, looking down at his new form.
“Allow me,” Celestia offered. She lit her horn, and there was a clack as the door unlocked from the inside.
Josh raised an eyebrow at her. “Do that often?” he joked, and Celestia giggled.
“It would certainly make Canterlot life more interesting if I did,” she returned, opening the door with her magic.
They made their way inside, Ben gazing around at Josh’s house. All was silent, and Josh noted with some interest how things had changed since he had gone back to college.
“Okay, most of my lab’s packed up in the garage,” he motioned to Luna. “Look for large plastic bins. Celestia, you and I will go upstairs to my room and get my personal stuff, okay?” Celestia nodded, and levitated him onto her back.
“Wait, what do I do?” Ben wondered as they set off.
“Look pretty,” Josh ordered, and Celestia tittered as Ben rolled his eyes, following them upstairs.
“Wow, you really do have a room just like Luna’s,” Celestia commented as they entered his bedroom.
The desk was cluttered with scientific papers, half-finished inventions, and electronic parts, and the drawer fared little better. The floor was strewn with more papers, books and clothes, and a bin full of old toys and more electronic parts was right in the middle of the floor. Josh sighed, looking around.
“This would be a lot easier if I had hands,” he muttered.
“Sadly, I cannot change you back until you go through the portal again. Do not worry, I can teleport anything you desire back through the portal,” Celestia advised.
“Okay… that bin, in the middle. Everything on and inside the drawer… and everything in the closet,” Josh began.
There was a flash of light, and everything he had just listed had disappeared from his room, Josh blinking in surprise.
“Wow. ‘Celestia’s Moving Service,’ huh?” Ben quipped, watching.
“Both of you will be able to do this, with a few years of training,” Celestia answered.
Luna came upstairs a moment later, puffing slightly as she walked into Josh’s already crowded room.
“Oh, is this your element collection?” she questioned excitedly, looking over at a long row of ampoules on his desk.
“You keep that in your bedroom ?” Ben wondered incredulously. “I’m pretty sure at least half of those would kill you if they broke.”
Josh shook his head. “Halogens maybe , thallium, arsenic, and possibly some of the alkali metals. The others are either too unreactive or they’re just metals.”
Luna looked over each ampoule in fascination, and Josh smiled slightly as he watched her. His old mother had never even bothered to glance at them…
Luna lifted up each set of ampoules gently in her magic, teleporting them a moment later.
“All of your laboratory equipment has been moved as well,” she informed Josh, who nodded.
“That’s everything I can think of, so I think we’re done here,” he answered, satisfied.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “So fast?” he questioned.
Josh nodded. “They were going to sell the house in a few years, so they requested I pack up all my stuff before I left for college this fall. Convenient, huh?”
That done, he stumbled his way over to a nearby computer, where he booted it up and waited for it to oh so slowly log in.
“Piece of junk ,” Josh growled as he waited.
“Wow. How old is this thing?” Ben questioned.
“2005. My dad kept ‘upgrading’ it… at least, until it wasn’t feasible to do anymore. This is the computer I used to play games with you on,” Josh explained.
Ben looked disgusted. "It looks like it would barely run Pong," he muttered, and Josh laughed.
Once he reached the login screen, he managed to select the correct login with his hooves, and went to type the password. However, his hooves were simply too large to press the correct keys.
“Here, let me. What’s your password?” Ben asked, fingers positioned over the keyboard.
Josh grumbled. “All lowercase, spell out ‘iodine53’.” Ben snorted as he entered the password, and waited for Josh to dictate what to do next.
“What are you going to do?” Celestia asked, watching the device in fascination.
“Type up a farewell letter,” Josh answered.
“You’re not even going to write it?” Ben wondered.
“Do I look like I can write?” Josh retorted, holding up his hooves for emphasis. “Though… I guess having one of you type it would be a little callous,” he noted a moment later.
“Must you really cut them off, though?” Luna wondered. “Perhaps it would be better to try and make friends with them again.”
Josh whipped his head around to stare at her. “If they were strangers, I might,” he hissed. “But I will not remain in such a toxic relationship for the vague promise of ‘friendship.’ It’s not worth it.”
Luna immediately reared back, holding her hooves up in surrender. “Fair enough, I understand,” she answered quickly.
Josh sighed, turning back to the computer screen. He stared at it for a moment, eyes narrowed before turning away with a huff. “I’ll do it later, I guess,” he grumbled.
“Good idea,” Celestia agreed.
Josh shut down the computer, and the four of them headed out into the late Seattle afternoon.
“Alright, so how do we wanna get to your house?” Josh wondered, looking at Ben. Ben shrugged. “Maybe we could teleport again?” he wondered. Celestia and Luna looked at each other in worry.
“Perhaps we should save some magic for the return trip,” Celestia gently countered. “While we are alicorns, our magical reserves are not limitless.”
Ben took on an apologetic expression. “Sorry, I kind of assumed…” he began.
Celestia shook her head. “Think nothing of it. Now, what would you say to flying there?”
Both Josh and Ben’s ears perked up at that question, though in Josh’s case this was actually literal.
“That sounds great ,” Ben enthusiastically answered.
“Huh. Never been flying before…” Josh wondered.
A few minutes later, they were soaring over the treetops, Ben whooping as Celestia took him for a few dives and loops. Josh was actually smiling, and Luna was beaming as she swooped down to skim a pine tree with a hoof.
“There!” Ben pointed out a house just to their right, and Celestia dived down, Luna following as wind buffeted Josh’s head. Strangely, although he should have been screaming in fear at such an acceleration, Josh was instead grinning. It felt so… natural . He wondered if his alicorn body perhaps had some muscle memory of flying.
They landed in Ben’s driveway, and Josh immediately tripped over himself while trying to get off Luna’s back, landing instead on his face.
“Are you alright?” Luna fussed, levitating him right-side-up and checking him over.
“I fell two feet , Luna, I’ll be fine,” Josh laughed. Luna seemed unconvinced.
Ben noted with dismay the two cars in front of his house – evidently, his parents were home. “Okay…” he breathed. “Mature adults.” He walked up to the door, and knocked before he could change his mind, pulling his hand back from the door as though he’d been burned.
“Coming!” a female voice sounded from the other side, and the door opened to reveal Ben’s mother.
At first, neither side spoke. Ben’s mom stared at the three small horses with wings and horns accompanying him, and they stared right back, Celestia looking around awkwardly. She was a full foot shorter than Ben, and about as thin, and though her dark brown hair and blue eyes looked similar to his chocolate afro and hazelnut irises, Josh could clearly see that they weren't related now that he knew the truth.
“Hey… Mom… can we come in?” Ben asked in a small voice.
Ben’s mother jerked backward, her stare broken as she shifted her attention to him. “O-of course!” she answered breathlessly.
Ben slowly walked across the threshold, Celestia, Luna and Josh following a moment later.
Ben’s dogs came barking around the corner as soon as they caught sight of the newcomers.
“Oh! Sorry, they’re very excitable,” Ben apologized as they attempted to jump onto Celestia.
“Oh, my! Hello, you two!” Celestia answered, nuzzling them happily.
They noticed Josh, and their expressions changed to confusion as they sniffed him. “Yeah, it’s me again,” Josh answered, lazily holding out a hoof to pet them with as he grinned at their familiar antics.
Upon hearing his voice, they went into another excited frenzy, tackling him to the floor and licking him all over. While Josh busied himself with the dogs, Luna, Celestia and Ben went into the kitchen.
“I know why you’re here,” his mother announced as soon as they were alone.
“You …do?” Ben replied, shocked.
His mother nodded, the ghost of a smile coming to her face as she took a seat.
“A few years back, while you were out at school, one of these… ponies stopped by to visit. He was blue, electric blue, not like you, Mrs…?” Ben’s mom trailed off.
“Luna,” the Princess of the Night introduced herself. “And you?” she returned politely after a moment.
“Claire,” Ben’s mom answered, just as politely.
“I am Celestia, and the orange alicorn in the other room is Josh,” Celestia finished.
Ben’s mom’s eyes went wide. “That’s Josh ? Wow, that’s a new one,” she wondered.
Ben laughed. “Yeah, he stepped through the portal a little before he was supposed to. Now he’s a pony.”
Claire chuckled awkwardly. “Speaking of, back to the story.”
“So, this pony stops by one day. He tells me that pretty soon, my son’s going to find out he was a lost prince from another world, and he’d have to make a choice whether to stay in that world or here. Normally, I’d have assumed this was some kind of hallucination, but he told me things… only my son would know,” Claire trailed off.
Celestia and Luna looked at each other in shock. “This visiting pony… how tall was he?” Celestia inquired.
“About Luna’s size,” Claire mused.
“So… I came back from the future…?” Ben wondered.
“You are the Alicorn of Time,” Celestia agreed. “It would certainly be within your capabilities.”
Claire nodded. “So… I wanted to let you know… whatever you choose, I’ll be okay with it,” she softly addressed Ben. “After all, who could pass up the chance to learn magic ?”
Ben chuckled halfheartedly. “Yeah… I…” he sighed. “I want to go with them, but… I don’t want to lose you either,” he admitted. “I can’t decide .”
Josh poked his head in from the other room. “Then don’t,” he replied, and everyone looked over in surprise. “When I was adopted, my birth-mom… or what I thought was my birth-mom followed this policy where she’d visit me over the course of ten years, more and more infrequently each time. I hated that idea, because it implied that she was inferior compared to my old parents and should be ‘phased out.’ So, why not do both? Go to Equestria… but visit Earth sometimes too,” Josh finished.
“I would certainly agree to this,” Celestia added. “The portal opens once every thirty moons, but once you learn time travel, Ben, that won’t be much of an issue.”
Ben looked between them. “So… it’d be okay with you if I…” he trailed off, staring at his mother.
“Of course,” Claire answered. “I’ve been proud to raise you, but you should spend some time with your real parents. That reminds me… did you know I found you on my doorstep?” she asked.
“What ?!” Ben answered, incredulous, and Josh snorted with laughter from the other room.
“Uh-huh. I thought some errant couple had just left you here, so I decided to raise you. I haven’t told you all these years because… well, we looked similar enough, and I thought that it might hurt you to never know who your real parents were. Guess I was wrong, then!” Claire laughed weakly.
Ben stared at her for a moment, then collapsed into her arms, sobbing. Celestia and Luna quickly joined in, leaving Josh alone in the doorway. He looked back at one of the dogs, who snuffled expectantly at him. Josh rolled his eyes, leaving the rest of his family alone. It was their moment, after all, not his.
…Right?
“Hey… have I been gone long? From this world, I mean,” Ben wondered, once the sniffling had finally died down.
Claire shrugged. “I don’t think so. You left for school this morning, but when I walked outside, your car was still there.”
Ben sighed in relief. “I thought it was going to be some sort of reverse-Narnia thing, where I find out that years passed while we were in Equestria for a day.”
Claire laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re fine,” she admonished. “Is there anything you’d like to take with you?”
Ben thought for a moment. “My laptop, obviously. Uh… what happened to my phone? It was in my pocket, but it was gone as soon as I got to Equestria.” Claire nodded. “Your phone and keys were in the car, so I brought them inside. If I hadn’t seen that blue alicorn again, I’d have assumed you’d been kidnapped ,” she muttered. “Anyway, they’re in your room.”
Ben nodded. “Thanks… mom,” he trailed off. “Man, it’s weird to have multiple moms,” he muttered under his breath.
“You get used to it,” Josh added from the other room.
“Josh, quit eavesdropping and get in here ! You’re my brother now, you have to contribute,” Ben ordered.
Josh appeared in the doorway again, Ben’s two dogs nipping at him expectantly. “I am contributing. I’m keeping these two quiet with belly rubs,” he retorted, sounding somewhat miffed.
“Thank you for that, I was wondering why they weren't barking. Come on, let’s go upstairs!” Ben demanded, sounding much less nervous. Josh raced him upstairs, having somewhat gotten the hang of his new legs, and the three parents followed a moment after, knowing smiles on their faces.
“Just as clean and polished as I remember it,” Josh quipped as they entered Ben’s bedroom. Where Josh's room had been dirty, Ben's was in pristine condition - not a single paper out of place.
“I’m going to miss all these video games,” Ben sighed.
“Take some with you! I’m pretty sure I can figure out a power supply and a television,” Josh urged.
Ben put a hand to his chin in thought. “Mmm… alright. But it better be huge ,” he urged.
Josh laughed. “Oh, trust me, I never do small-scale. Go big, or go home.”
Ben picked out a few video games and consoles. “Your bro not gonna miss those?” Josh wondered.
“He never plays them anymore,” Ben answered.
“Heh… I’m kinda glad that everything worked out, between you and your parents,” Josh remarked.
“Yeah… I was expecting a fight for custody, or something…” Ben wondered.
Josh shrugged. “Custody doesn’t apply when you’re 18 or up. I’m just surprised we managed to avoid my parents.”
Ben chuckled awkwardly. “So… is this it? Are we going back?” he asked.
Josh considered this. “I was actually hoping to make a stop at my college dorm, so we could pick up my other stuff. Not sure if our moms would be cool with such an… extensive side trip, though.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “You know, because going to an entirely different universe is paltry compared to a trip across America.”
Josh snorted with laughter. “Touché.”
Meanwhile, Celestia, Luna and Claire sat in an adjacent room, looking anywhere but each other.
“So… you, uh… you can fly?” Claire tried, after a moment.
“Yes, we can,” Celestia answered carefully.
“We flew here, actually,” Luna added, smiling nervously.
Claire mulled this over for a moment. “…I didn’t want to say this in front of the kids, but I feel like you should know it,” Claire finally began. “Can you… somehow prevent them from hearing anything we say?” she asked urgently.
“Of course, but… why?” Luna asked suspiciously.
“Please. This must not be overheard,” Claire answered quietly.
Luna lit her horn, and the sound of Josh and Ben talking in the other room faded away quickly.
Claire took a deep breath. “When that blue alicorn… older Ben… showed up, he told me something else. Something that I was supposed to tell you two, and not them .” Celestia and Luna leaned forward, listening intently. “He said that one day, Josh would make a choice that you couldn’t accept… but you must accept it. He said it was critical that you did.”
Luna reared back, surprised. “Did he say anything else?” she inquired, trying to sound casual.
Claire shook her head. “He refused to elaborate. When I asked him why, he said that I would be pressured into telling you, and then you would prevent the choice from ever happening… which would be very bad . His words,” Claire explained.
The two alicorns mulled over this. “…This is why I prefer not to deal in time travel anymore,” Luna muttered.
“Indeed,” Celestia agreed.
Claire looked at her as though she'd sprouted a second head. "...Right, anyway," Claire muttered. "What... what is Ben going to do, in your world?" she asked.
"Anything he wishes. I will do my best to raise him in the manner with which you have, to be a strong, courageous prince," Celestia cheerfully answered, glad for the change of topic.
Claire sighed, clenching her fists at her sides as she stared at the floor.
“Claire… is something wrong? Have we angered you?” Celestia asked, noticing her sudden change in demeanor.
Claire scowled at the floor. “It’s… nothing,” she forced out between clenched teeth as she relaxed her grip on the chair ever so slightly. “Nothing at all.”
Celestia and Luna shared a look of concern. “Please tell us,” Celestia pleaded. “If there is any malcontent at all between us, I wish to rectify it.”
Claire put her hands over her face, growling. “It’s that !” she snarled. “That perfect attitude of yours!”
Celestia reeled back, shocked. “…I beg your pardon?” she replied, clueless.
Claire stared at her for a second between her fingers, then slumped over, huffing a sigh. “It’s just… how can I ever hope to measure up to you ? You two can fly , you can do magic , you’re even royalty ! You talk about time travel as though it were nothing, just a bad hobby you gave up! You’re so polite , and charming , and… perfect. You’re the perfect mother, and I’m… not,” Claire admitted.
Celestia tilted her head. “With all due respect, Claire… none of those have anything to do with being a mother. I did not choose to be able to fly, or do magic, or be royalty. These were gifts bestowed upon me from the moment of my birth. And… having seen what hands can do, I am quite envious of yours,” Celestia tried, cracking a smile. “As for my charm… it is what I have learned from a thousand years of politics. I am merely attempting to keep everyone around me happy, nothing more.” Celestia got up, and began pacing in a circle around Claire while Luna watched. “But what about you?” the solar diarch mused. “You’ve raised Ben in a clearly superior manner than I. Had he been brought up in the courts, he would have been spoiled. He would have had everything he wanted, and cared for none of it. He’d be bored, disillusioned, and perhaps even prone to arrogance,” Celestia stated bluntly, recalling a certain blond-haired nephew of hers. “But you have taught him something I never could have, in my environment,” she firmly declared.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Claire grumbled.
“You have taught him humility ,” Celestia answered sternly, using a wing to lift Claire’s chin. “You have made sure that he knows to do what is right for others , not himself. To lead by example, and to stay determined even in times of duress. And for that… I can never repay you.” Celestia sank to her knees in a bow, spreading her wings before a shocked Claire. “I know I must seem powerful to you, perhaps even too powerful. But remember that it was not I that raised Ben to become the upstanding gentleman he is today. That was you ,” Celestia finished.
Claire looked at her for a moment longer, searching Celestia’s eyes for something. Then, she slowly removed her hands from her face, sighing. “You stop that,” she muttered, but on her face was that unmistakably familiar ghost of a smile.
“I shan’t. Now… can you tell me about Ben?” Celestia urgently asked, smiling eagerly now that the tension had been defused. “What he likes, what he dislikes? I need to know everything .”
Claire snorted in amusement as she raised her eyes to the ceiling in thought. “Well… for starters…”
