For Boulder

by GamingWolf

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Maud Pie
Length: 3485

Now, noone can say I don't keep my word! I said I would do it, so here it is. For my comrade Boulder.

Boulder, Maud's unassuming, inanimate, pet rock. BUT WAIT! Is it unassuming? Is it inanimate? IS IT A PET ROCK?! Yeah, probably. Pinkie Pie introduces Price to her older sister Maud. What sorts of shenanigans will the two get into? Who will be able to stop their ever so fun game of. . . CAMOUFLAGE! And will Price ever be able to find Boulder or will Maud forever lose her favorite pet (maybe) rock?!
Maud will interact and meet with my other OC's along with Boulder.

Contains: Clop, Gore, Lasers, Robots, Sharks, Laser robot sharks, light-hearted comedy, flowers, Pinkie Pie

Disclaimer: may not contain one or six of the aforementioned

Published 2016-09-18 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-29 03:26:25 UTC

A Day With Maud and Boulder

Price eyed Pinkie Pie suspiciously as she stared at him with an enormous smile. She had been staring at him ever since she jumped in front of him while he sat watching the clouds drift by. Maybe she was waiting for him to say something first?

"Good afternoon, Pinkie," Price greeted her with an uncertain smile.

"Hiya, Price! I have somepony I would like you to meet!" she voiced in her usually loud, cheerful voice. She disappeared into the ground then reappeared behind a gray mare in a blue dress. "This is my older sister, who is the most awesomest, funnest, most down to earth pony ever! Price the Wolf meet Maud the Sister! Maud the Sister meet Price the Wolf!" she leaned close to her sister's ear to whisper, "He's an alien!"

"Hello," Maud greeted Price monotonously.

"Hi," Price smiled politely.

"I hope you two get along! I have some more baking to do at Sugar Cube Corner, but as soon as I am done, we all can play together!" Pinkie spoke quickly then disappeared in a pink poof.

Price noticed Maud reach into a pocket in her dress and pull out a small stone.

"This is Boulder. He is my pet rock and best friend. Say 'hello', Boulder," Maud spoke unenthusiastically.

Price smiled politely again, "Hello, Boulder. My aren't you quite the meta- I beg pardon- igneous rock."

Boulder was pleased that someone did not mistake him for metamorphic, as most ponies often did. Instead of being as close minded as he usually is, Boulder decided to keep an open mind about the gray wolf called Price.

"Boulder says 'thank you'," Maud informed the wolf.

"Would Boulder mind if I pet him?" Price asked.

No, no Boulder would not mind if you pet him.

"Boulder says that you can pet him," Maud interpreted as she lowered Boulder from her ear.

Price petted Boulder gently with the pad of his paw, "Can you talk to all rocks, Maud?"

"Only those that want to talk," was her flat response.

"Huh, so I guess it is the same with plants," Price stopped his petting of Boulder.

"You can talk to plants?"

"Yes, although only to the ones that want to. Trees are the most difficult to talk with because they take a long time to say anything and grasses have too many voices talking at once," Price explained.

"We have a lot more in common than I thought," Maud droned.

"Did you have any plans today?"

"No."

"What about Boulder?"

Boulder would like to go sunbathing.

"Boulder had wanted to go sunbathing," Maud said.

"I know the perfect place to relax in the sun!" Price smiled, "I'll show you."

Boulder is intrigued.

"Boulder can't wait," Maud said.

After slowing down his pace to match up with Maud, Price enjoyed the walk through the meadow. He breathed in the clean air and enjoyed the constant breeze.

"What are the flowers saying?" Maud broke the silence.

"They are singing," Price grinned and closed his eyes. "It is like listening to a chorus of a thousand angels. They are praising the sun and rejoicing in the perfect Spring weather."

"Sounds wonderful."

"It is. The only problem I have is when somepony is cutting grass. All the screams. . ." Price shook his head.

"Sounds like a nightmare."

Boulder sat on Maud's hoof enjoying the sun and breeze. Truth be told, anywhere with Maud was the perfect sunbathing spot for him.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I am a geologist."

"I bet that. . . rocks," Price chuckled at his own pun.

"Yes."

Boulder likes rock puns. Boulder's opinion of you has improved.

"Here we are," Price announced. He stood on his hind legs on top of a large flat rock.

"What an odd monolith," Maud remarked. She sniffed the rock.

"Basalt?" Price guessed.

"Gabbro," Maud corrected him. "It is like a cousin to basalt."

"For some reason, I always feel sad when I come here." Price mused.

Maud set Boulder down on the table-like monolith. "The perfect right angles mean that this is not a natural rock formation."

Boulder sat happily on the rock enjoying the new warmth on his bottom. Price certainly knew how to pick rocks to bask on.

"Who would put this here, though?" Price asked rhetorically.

"No clue."

A long silence filled the air. Despite his initial reservations, Price was having a nice time talking with Maud and Boulder. The Pegasi sure made today a beautiful day.

"Do you think Boulder might be hungry? And to that extent, are you hungry?"

Boulder hungers.

"Boulder says that he is hungry and as for me," Maud took a big bite out of the corner of the monolith, "This is suitable."

Price watched her with a shocked face. He quickly picked up his jaw and inquire, "Is Boulder a picky eater? Is he. . . cannibalistic?"

Boulder will consume ALL in Boulder's way.

"Not particularly," she crunched.

"What do you to usually do? I mean, to keep a. . . rambunctious companion such as Boulder under control, you must have games to play with him to keep him entertained, right?"

"We play Camouflage. It's like hide-and-seek but way more intense," Maud spoke slightly enthusiastic.

Boulder lost two ounces playing Camouflage when Maud could not find Boulder for a week. Truly, a dark time for Boulder.

"Let's play that!" Price suggested happily. He sat down when his tail started wagging.

"Okay. We both turn around and Boulder will go hide. We count to twenty then we look for him," Maud explained.

"Simple enough," Price commented.

Maud walked up beside him and stared at the horizon. Price turned around and faced the same way with her. Friendship Castle dotted the horizon and marked the location of Ponyville.

"Twenty," Maud said aloud.

To see Boulder missing terrified Price. He ran up to where he had last been.

"He's gone!" he gasped incredulously.

"Of course. That is the point of Camouflage," she replied acerbically.

Rational thoughts, Price, he thought to himself, What do the surroundings say? I should have licked him when I had the chance would have made searching for him easier. Price began searching through the rocks the rectangle slab of rock rested on. Sniffing the rocks only yielded numerous scents of birds, a squirrel, voles, and a pregnant hare.

"Boulder," Maud called out.

"Maybe he sprouted wings and flew away?"

"Rocks can't grow wings," Maud said dismissively.

Rocks can't suddenly disappear either, he thought.

"Boulder is very good at this game. One time, I couldn't find him for a week," Maud regaled in detail.

"Where did you end up finding him?"

"In one of my dresses."

"Is he hiding in your pocket?" Price asked cocking his head to the side.

Maud dug into her pocket and pulled out. . . Boulder!

Boulder likes Price the Clever.

"Wow," Maud said indifferent, "That is the fastest time I have ever found Boulder."

How the Hell did he get in your pocket, to begin with?! Price wanted to exclaim, but he just smiled politely, "Wow, Boulder is great at this game. I was starting to worry we would never find him."

Boulder suggests taking him in as a coltfriend so Boulder can play with him more! Boulder suggests you wrap your hoo

Maud stuffed Boulder back into her pocket. "Boulder says that he likes you and thinks you are a great friend."

"That is very sweet of Boulder. The feeling is mutual," Price said sincerely. He noticed the faintest of smiles tug the corners of Maud's mouth which made him smile broadly. "I had a lot of fun, Maud."

Before Maud could reply, Pinkie exploded in confetti and streamers between them. "Are you two best friends yet?!"

Maud wiped the confetti and streamers off her face and mane, "The best, Pinkie."

Pinkie turned to Price with expectant big eyes and smile. "I would gladly consider Maud and Boulder close friends," Price said honestly.

"That's great!" Pinkie exclaimed. She pulled Maud and Price close to her, "Because we all decided that you two should get married!"

. . .

"Wat?" Maud and Price said dumbfounded.

Boulder approves.

Maud and Shade: For Science

"For Science," Shade whispered after a deep breath. She stood at the edge of the canyon and stared at the bottom. A soft afternoon wind blows from the south which rustled her short mane and tail. Maybe she should start her experiment at a lower part of the canyon? What? As if. She strapped the helmet tighter and closed her eyes. "For," she jumped off the cliff while she yelled, "Science!"

Maud pulled her wagon gingerly through the canyon. She traveled at her pace. She had no place to be. Today was all about studying the layers of rock that remained for her to examine. Just another day as a geologist. Boulder sat happily atop Maud's head as he basked in the fading, late afternoon sun.

Sigh.

Something up ahead caught Maud's eye. It looked like a pony. She walked faster than normal to check on the pony. Maud cocked her head to the side as she studied the ivory pony. She has a short white mane with red highlights with a matching short tail, while her coat seemed as white as the driven snow, she was completely dirty now, and bruises were staining her coat. Some of the pony's legs were bent backward, and her back was at an odd, uncomfortable angle. Maud grew worried when the mare did not breathe.

Boulder thinks that looks painful.

Gasp!

The mare drew in a deep breath and sat up from the ground which startled Maud and Boulder.

"Ow!" the mare groaned and rested her yellow, helmeted head back on the ground.

"What happened to you?" Maud asked.

"Science!" the pony wheezed.

"Do you need" Maud stopped mid-sentence when the pony held up a hoof. Maud watched in terror as the pony snapped her limbs back in place and twisted her spine to align correctly. All the bone popping made Maud want to vomit.

Boulder does not think that is normal.

With a punch to the shoulder and the snap of her neck, the ivory mare locked her straw eyes onto Maud. The mare smiled a toothy grin. "Science!"

"What kind of 'science' are you talking about?" Maud inquired as she repressed what she just witnessed.

"Traumatic science! I just created a serum that negates pain and increases natural healing processes!" the mare looked up the canyon wall. "I jumped off from the highest point, hit a lot of rocks on the way down, and yet here I amstill in one piece!" The mare unhooked the yellow helmet with crimson magic which revealed three horns and shook her mane. "It seems the serum also increases epidermal durability."

Maud stared at the mare. Pinkie Pie was eccentric and did crazy things. This mare was just crazy. "Incredible."

"The flood of endorphins and adrenaline just makes me feel so alive!" The mare jumped up and shouted with glee, "I feel like I can run a marathon!" With a red flash, the ivory mare disappears. A second later, she reappeared with a pop and with white saddlebags on. "I'm glad you are here! Look, if I have to pay you, so be it, but I need someone here to watch me when the serum" the pony stopped talking, and her face froze with pain. She toppled over and crashed on her side.

Uh oh.

What was Maud supposed to do? The mare was not breathing, and her lips were turning blue.

Boulder suggests leaving the scene of the crime before authorities or witnesses pass.

She touched the mare and quickly retracted her hoof from the body as cold as death. Maud unhooks herself from the wagon. She rolls the mare onto her back. Oh, Celestia, Maud has only ever seen CPR in pamphlets. She would need compensation for what she was about to do. After she had checked around, Maud noticed the saddlebags the mare had are marked with red crosses. Maud rummaged through one bag, found numerous syringes, bottles with complicated labels, and three autoinjectors.

Stick her with all the needles. One of them is bound to do something. Boulder suggests.

"Yes, Maud, inject her with more adrenaline so her heart can explode," she commented to herself. She rolled the ivory mare to her left side so she could check the right bag. In the right bag, she found gauze, compresses, bandages, alcohol, canteens of water, and a pamphlet. She picked up the pamphlet and saw diagrams detailing how to perform CPR. It was odd because it never said to give them mouth-to-mouth. Would it work?

Just kiss her anyways!

Maud rolled the ivory mare to her back, removed her helmet, opened her mouth, and Maud placed her hooves on the mare's cold chest. As she compressed the mare's chest, Maud began to worry she was doing it too hard; she felt that she might be hurting the mare. When she was about to stop, the mare drew in a deep breath and opened her eyes. Her breathing was rapid and shallow.

The mare stared up at Maud as she got a hold of her breath. "Thanks," she said.

She's aliiiiiive!

"You did say you would 'pay' me," Maud replied and stuffed Boulder into her pocket.

"Ha!" the mare interjected weakly. "I would laugh, but my entire body is in excruciating pain."

"Is your home nearby?"

"Yes," the mare replied with a huff. Her horns lit up crimson, and she levitated a canteen to her mouth. She carefully drank some water and licked her lips. "Want some?" she offered the canteen to the gray Earth pony.

"No thank you."

"Heh. I do not have cooties." the ivory pony cracked. She labored to her hooves and grunted and winced with every move.

Maud watched the pony struggle to her hooves as if she were a newborn foal.

"Pain is pleasure," she heard the pony hiss as she stood still on her hooves. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"In the left saddlebag, there are two cases of syringes. Take out and open the blue one and pass me one of the 'C21H27NO. HCl' labeled syringes."

Maud walked over to the saddlebag, opened it up, and brought out the blue plastic case. She rested the case on the back of the ivory mare as she undid the latches to open the case. All the while as the ivory mare chanted "Pain is pleasure" to herself.

After the mare removed the syringe from Maud's mouth was Maud able to ask, "What will that shot do?"

"It is a narcotic that will numb the pain which should allow me to concentrate enough to teleport us to my house," the mare answered.

"Aren't narcotics bad for you?" Maud watched the plunger decompress and the liquid flow into the ivory leg of the mare. The mare inhaled sharply, and her breaths became short and rapid. The mare controlled her breathing and rolled her joints and neck; Maud could see the pony begin to relax.

"If used inappropriately, all good things will become bad," the pony replied in a low, calm voice, "and if used appropriately, all bad things will become good." She turned to the gray Earth pony and smiled. "I am ready to go. How about you?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever teleported before, Maud?"

Maud stared at the pony unblinking. "How do you know my name?"

"What?" the pony cocked her head to the side. "Because Pinkie Pie is always talking about you and I have seen many pictures of you. I find it difficult Pinkie Pie has not told you about me. And if she has not, it makes me a little sad."

Maud studied the pony closer. There was only one pony Pinkie Pie ever talked about with three horns, a black heart cutie mark, and a peppermint like mane and tail. "Are you Shade?"

Shade smiled. "Yes."

With a flash of red, Shade teleported them and Maud's wagon to her house.

Maud opened her eyes to see a one-story, wooden house in front of her. The house had an awning that covered the front door and metallic shingles. "Nice house."

"Thanks," Shade shrugged and went to the door. She opened the door and ushered Maud inside. "Are you thirsty? I have water, apple cider, black, red, green, yellow, and white teas, as well as my homemade root beer. It does not contain any alcohol, for the obvious, I just call it that because of the process I use to concoct it."

Maud followed Shade out of the sparsely furnished living room to the kitchen with a large, square table and metal appliances. Shade pulled out a chair for Maud and Maud obliged Shade by sitting in the chair.

"Tell me more about 'root beer,'" Maud said.

"I make it from the roots of a plant I cultivated, boil it, then I let it ferment for a week, and finally I add carbonation to it to make it fizzy. The longer it ages, the more flavor it creates. The oldest casks I have right now are two years old. The root beer has a subtle vanilla bouquet and has a strong taste that puts off most ponies. I dislike sweets, that is why I created a drink that was faintly sweet and stimulates all my taste buds simultaneously," Shade explained.

Maud stared at Shade in thought. Shade stared back patiently. A long silence broke out between them as they stared at each other.

Shade cleared her throat, "Do you want to try my root beer?"

"Yes, please."

Shade walked over to the white granite counter which had a small, wooden beer cask atop the counter and under the hanging rosewood cabinets. From the cabinet above the cask, Shade removed two wooden pint mugs and asked, "Fizzy or no fizz?"

"Fizzy," Maud replied.

"My kinda gal," Shade cracked and began to fill the mugs with root beer from the cask while simultaneously setting up the carbonation equipment. With crimson magic, Shade pulled out a five-pound tank of CO2 from beneath the sink, vinyl tubing, a regulator and gauge, and a little cup Maud did not recognize. Once the mugs were full, Shade placed them on the counter and screwed one mug with the cup, attaching a valve and tube to the cup. Maud understood now what the cups purpose was and waited patiently for her drink.

Shade walked over to the table with the two mugs in crimson tow. "Before you drink, I have to ask," Shade began, "Are you pregnant or think you are pregnant?"

"No."

"Do you have heart problems or family history of heart problems?"

"No."

"Have you traveled out of the country the past year?"

"No."

"And finally, have you been sick the past week or come into contact with somepony who was ill?"

"No."

"Great!" Shade beamed and set a mug in front Maud. Shade took a seat across from Maud to enjoy her frothy beverage.

Maud accepted the drink and took a swig of her root beer. Maud was surprised by the immediate cold sensation she received, even though the drink had no ice in it. The cold dissipated and made way for a pleasantly bitter flavor with a tinge of sour. When she swallowed the drink, the taste of vanilla covered the entirety of her mouth, and a slight spicy sensation tickled her throat as it traveled down her esophagus, where the beverage warmed her belly.

"Wow," Maud exclaimed, "It was like a roller coaster ride for my taste buds. I like it."

Shade rested her head on a hoof as she looked at Maud. "I could listen to you talk all day," Shade smiled.

"Thank you," Maud replied uncertainly. A small flash of crimson and a pop on the table grabbed Maud's attention. She saw a rock in the middle of the table.

The rock began to levitate in a crimson glow and Shade spoke, "I saw you had a pet rock. Here is my friend Sandy."

Maud brought out Boulder from her pocket and set him on the table, "This is Boulder."

Shade set Sandy in front of Boulder. "I wonder if they will become friends," Shade said out loud as she watched the two rocks on the table.

Maud looked on, as well.

Hello, Sandy.

Greetings.

Shade looked outside and saw darkness in the window. "If you want, you are more than welcome to stay the night, Maud. I did not realize how late it was."

Maud was about to decline when Boulder spoke up. Boulder wishes to stay longer and talk more with the lovely Sandy.Maud stared at Boulder. Then at Sandy. Then at Shade. Then at the window above the sink.

"Fine."

Thank you, Miss Maud.