Ben

Greetings.

This is the story version of an ongoing roleplay with us, Pathos and myself, SpiritOfDancingFlames. It’s done from my perspective, yes, but it starts abruptly. This is because it’s how we started it. It will be confusing at first, but you will understand it more as you go along. If you’re really lost and can’t or don’t want to wait around for background, just ask me in a PM. I’ll warn you upfront, this story got turned upside down and around very quickly. It was originally meant to be a bit of clop and randomosity, but it quickly turned into something… well, you’ll see.

This is originally written in a convoluted First/Second Person form where my entries are first person my perspective, and Pathos’ entries are kind of omniscient second person.

Copying and pasting this from Discord (the program, not the draconequus), and then editing it all, was one heck of a pain. I’m not certain we got it all, so if you find any errors in Point of View, any missing sections of the story, or any other errors, do feel free to let us know.

Oh, and if some ponies randomly act OOC or do random things that seem to be way off, I probably got a bad dice roll.

"Oh thank you ever so much, Ben!" Rarity flicked her mane, "I can't express to you how lucky I am that you can babysit dear Sweetie Belle for me this evening."

We’d met at Pinkie's welcome party for me, held a few months ago, and hit off fairly well. After learning I was a professional babysitter back home, she was more than happy to ask me to babysit Sweetie Belle while she went on a business trip.

"Nah, Rarity, you don't have to thank me." I chuckle. "I told you, I like hanging out with little kids. I used to do it all the time back on Earth."

She giggles in her rare way, "Oh, such a charmer. Either way, I'm afraid I must be away now. Fame and fortune wait not for anypony, not even one as beautiful as oneself." She chuckles, holding a hoof to her chest. "Now remember, Sweetie's bedtime is eleven thirty. While she doesn't have school in the morning, I'd still like for you to adhere to that schedule if you can. Otherwise, help yourself to the kitchen and to my personal quarters when you retire for the evening." She glances around. "And do try not to help yourself to my dresser if you could. And if Sweetie is too... Rambunctious for you, Applejack said she'd be more than happy to take her in."

She gathers up her luggage in her magic and starts skipping away, "Oh and I told Sweetie she could have her little friends over, feed Opal for me, buh-bai~!" The door slams behind her, leaving me standing in the foyer of her home. Sweetie isn’t in the living room, but I think I saw her heading for her room.

I walk up after her, bobbing my head absentmindedly to the music in it. I stop outside the shut door that I'm pretty sure leads to her room. I knock twice. "Hey, Sweetie? You in here?"

Her voice calls from the other side of the hall. "Huh?"

I turn around to see Sweetie staring at me. "Oh, uh... Sorry, I thought this was your room."

She blinks from her place, holding the door across the hall open, before giggling. "That's the bathroom, silly." She giggles and waves me over, "This is my room over here."

"Oh, okay." I facepalm.

She giggles before trotting out into the hall, leaving her room open behind her. "You were looking for me?" She smiles up at me.

"Mhm, I was! I just wanted to sit back and chat, or play games, so we can get to know each other. I might be your sitter, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun together, right?" I lean nonchalantly against the wall.

She blinks twice, her mouth slightly parting. "Really?" She giggles and stands on her back hooves, wrapping her forelegs around my waist. "C'mon! I have a ton of games in my room!"

"Sweet!" I hug her gently, then follow her into her room. "Hey, nice setup you got here."

Against the left wall is her uncommonly large, queen-sized bed, frills and pinks and purples coloring her bed. To the right is a dresser, covered in photos of her, Rarity and her friends. Directly in front of me is a shelf with various board games on it, not to mention the toy trunk off to the side of it. "Here!" She trots over into the center of the room, where a smaller table and chair system is laid out. "Uhh..." She stares, looking from the chairs to me, "You can sit on my bed." She sits down on the nearer chair.

I laugh. "Yeaaaah, those chairs might be jus' a wee bit small for me." I sit on the side of her bed. "So, what game you wanna play?"

She furrows her brow, "Erm... I dunno... What would you like to play?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Uh, Sweetie?" I cough gently. "I'm from Earth. I don't know what games there are here..."

She cringes, "O-Oh... Right..." She shifts her gaze down at her hooves, fiddling her forehooves awkwardly for a moment. She quickly perks up, "Oh! Then I'll show you all I have!" She gallops over to the shelf and points excitedly, "Do you like board games?"

"I do, actually!" I smile at her excitement. "Why don't you pick your favorite one?"

She runs over and gathers up chutes and ladders. I cringe inwardly, but put on a smile. "Oh, we've got that game on Earth! I recognize it."

She grins widely, "Really?!" Her voice cracks, her enthusiasm pointing at the thought that maybe she took it as me really liking the game. "It's my absolute favorite game too!"

She trots over and starts setting it up on the table, after scooching the table closer to me.

Just glancing at the board makes me mentally nauseous, but I crack a grin and pick out the blue piece and set it down. I lay the spinner off to the side of the board. "You can go first, Sweetie."

She giggles, "You’re first!"

I flick the spinner. Two. I move my piece. "Well, I didn't get very far. Your turn!"

She giggles and cheers. "Yay!"

She moves her piece to Five.

~Time passes~

I flick the spinner. Three. I move my piece from 84 to 24... Again. I groan.

She giggles, "Sorry~" She doesn't sound sorry as she flicks the spinner, as well as her mane as she looks up in what looks like pure joy as she spins a three. Going from 96 to 99. She blinks before slamming her hooves on the ground. "Buck!"

She blinks before yelping, "E-Er..."

"..."

She stares awkwardly at me, lightly blushing.

I raise an eyebrow. "Colorful language, there, Sweetie. Where'd you learn that word?"

Her mouth moves up and down slowly, almost ghosting mine. "U-Uh..."She stutters, "U-Uh... You w-won't tell Rarity w-will you..?" She messes with her tail a little. "She says it isn't lady like and gets really upset when I say bad words...”

I smile and shake my head. "I won't."

She smiles, "Thanks...” She walks over and gives me a hug. "You're pretty nice." She giggles, sitting back down. "Er...” She points behind me.

"Hm?" I look behind me. There's nothing there.

"Uh, what? I don't... see anything..? I look back at her.

She's smiling very widely, "O-Oh. That's nice." She gets up and stretches, "W-Well, I think I'm kinda hungry. What's for lunch?" Her piece is on 100.

I chuckle. "Nice one."

She blushes, turning away from me.

I smile and crouch next to her. "Hey, Sweetie?"

From this angle, I can vaguely see the hint of her plot. Just a little rise in her skin to show that it's there, but the rest is hidden behind her tail. "Hm?" She turns her head back to me. "Yes?"

I smile and boop her on the nose. "Boop!"

Her nose creases before she sniffles. "W-Whu...” Tears start dripping down her cheeks, "Why did you do...?" Her words are soon lost in sobs as she cries in place.

I back up, unsure what to do. I didn't expect that. "I'm sorry, sorry, I was just playing..." I groan. "Shoot, Sweetie, I'm sorry...”

Either she can't hear me or she can't stop crying long enough to even attempt to acknowledge me. I think for a moment, then I get an idea. I sit next to her, humming a song I knew. It has a very soothing sound, and I hope that it would be enough to calm her down.

Her sobs are turned into sputtering lip flappings, her eyes opening slowly as she tries to look at me. She sniffles a couple times before laying down on her side and resting her head on my leg. I continue humming, gently resting a hand on her back, stroking her gently as I try to calm her down.

She sniffles one last time, wrapping her forelegs around my leg. "Sorry... I don't know what came over me... I know you were trying to have fun but it was like... At the moment..." She sighs, "I don't even know..."

"It's alright, Sweetie. If anything, I should be sorry. I should've asked first."

She shakes her head and pulls away, sitting on her haunches. She stares at me for a moment.

She then flashes out, her hoof moving like a blur. "Boop." She says softly, booping my nose with a small smile.

I laugh. "Hey!" I boop her nose back. "You're it!"

She blinks, "Huh? It?" She tries to boop me again.

I couldn't move out of the way fast enough, and her hoof connects with my nose. “Aw, you got me!" I smile. "It's a boop war! If I boop you, you gotta boop me, and if you boop me, I gotta boop you back!"

I boop her on the nose again. "Like that! Boop!"

She stares before giggling. "Oh okay!" She boops me. "Boop!"

I boop her again, then quickly get up. "Bet'cha can't catch me!" I back up a few steps, preparing to bolt.

She growls a little, leaning into a pouncing pose. "Don't you doubt my boopablity!" She puns horribly, smiling and giggling. She jumps at me, her boop hoof ready.

I duck, booping her as I move away. "Got you again!"

She frowns, a serious air popping the happy bubble around her. "I will boop you if it kills you." She scrapes her hoof against the ground, as though pretending to be a bull.

"Oh, dear." I get up, ready to run.

She pounces, grappling around my waist and tugging at my trousers lightly. She then starts shimmying up my body. "Boop... Boop... Boop..." She mutters under her breath in increasing repeating speed as she gets ever so closer to my face, moving at an entire belly button per twenty seconds!

I gasp and brace myself for what was coming.

She's... Still trying to climb me and failing miserably. But she's determined! Until she frowns and boops the first thing she can touch, "Boop." She grumbles, booping my crotch, before jumping off you and sitting grumpily on the ground in front of you.

I feel my crotch stir a little, thankfully I was wearing jeans and it can't be seen. "Aw, you got me!" I pretend to die and fall over on the ground.

She giggles, climbing up and laying on your chest like a cat. "I like you." She nuzzles my cheek. "You're fun."

I wrap an arm around her, gently ruffling her mane. "Aww, thank you, Sweetie. You're pretty fun, too." I smile, trying to ignore the slight growth in my jeans as I notice how close her plot is to it.

She giggles. "You're sweet too. But I was honest earlier, I'm actually pretty hungry." she frowns, pouting slightly. "Maybe you could order a hay pizza? With extra dandelions?"

I nod, grinning as I stand, then scoop her up, holding her in my arms. "Alrighty, let's do that!" I walk out of her room, headed for the kitchen.

She giggles. "Yay!"

I put her on my shoulders, her forehooves resting on my head as I dial the phone.

"Hello, this is Ponyville Pizza Parlor, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to order a hay pizza with extra dandelions, and a large lettuce salad, to be delivered to Carousel Boutique."

The mare on the phone clears her throat. "Alright, one hay pizza with extra dandelions, large salad... Carousel Boutique. Gotcha! It'll be delivered by mail mare shortly. Anything else?"

I look up at Sweetie. "Anything else?"

She shakes her head. "Eenope."

"Alright, that's it!" I answer.

She laughs lightly. "That'll be twenty seven bits."

There’s a momentary pause. "O-Oh wait a moment... I miscalculated. That'll be eight bits!" She chuckles nervously.

I felt my heart restart. "Oh, yikes. You scared me there for a second!" I chuckled. "That's alright, all's well that ends well."

She sighs, "Thank you sir. Your pizza will arrive shortly." Dial tone.

Sweetie leans over, her lower filly lips pressing against the back off your neck, warm and moist. She peers down from above, her face upside down in your vision. "Did’ja order it?"

I smile up at her cute face. "Yes, I did!"

She cheers, "Yay! Oh! Oh! We should set the table!" She shifts, flinching as her filly bits rub awkwardly against my neck. "E-Er uh... Could you put me down for a bit?"

I nod. "Sure." I pick her up and gently put her on the ground.

She stands there for a moment. "Right. Uh..." She glances around. "I needed this." She picks up a coaster, holding it close to her chest like her life depended on it.

I chuckle. "Alrighty. Anything else you need?"

She puts the coaster back down before shaking her head. "Oh! Oh! We should just sit down and talk!" She hops up on the couch and stares at me. "Hi!" Her voice cracks.

Smiling, I sit beside her. "Hi! How are you doin'?"

She nods. "I'm doing pretty good." She scruffs against the couch with her hoof. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing pretty good, too. Anything interesting happen lately?"

She smiles. "Oh, I met my cool new babysitter! He's pretty nice and he got me a pizza."  She giggles. "Oh! And Scootaloo's birthday was a couple months ago, she's fourteen now."

I chuckle. "That's cool. How long 'til your birthday?"

"A month."

"Ooh, that's pretty close."

She nods. "Mhm!"

"Hmm... So, what do you want to do until the pizza arrives?"

She hums to herself. "We could play outside. Or read a book."

I look outside, it's a little dark, but it's not too dark. "I guess we could play outside, sure!"

She cheers. "Yay!'

I get up and follow her as she happily dashes for the door.

She bolts outside and looks around, "Okay! Wanna... Uh... I'm not sure."

Chuckling, I look around, too. "Well, what do you usually play outside?"

She stops. "I usually just try to get my cutie mark with my friends but... they're busy at the moment...”

"Ah, okay. Hm... Do you do anything else outside? Any games?"

I think for a moment. "...Or, we could go try for a Cutie Mark!"

She perks up. "Really? Oh! Oh! What should we try?!"

"Hm.... What kind of Cutie Marks can you get at night?"

She sighs. "I dunno..."

I mull it over, then snap as I come up with an idea. "We could try for stargazing!"

She smiles. "Stargazing? What kind of Cutie Mark could I get in that?"

"Probably a pretty one, with all kinds of stars!" I smile.

She awes. "Oh cool!" She glances up, but it's not quite dark enough yet. "Aw...”

"Well, maybe we can do it once we get our pizza. It should be here soon, I think."

As though summoned from divine intervention, rapid flapping.  "Look out!" somepony calls above me.

I quickly wrap an arm around Sweetie in protection, and hold my other hand out. A blue glow surrounds it as I try to stop the falling pegasus.

I somehow manage to freeze the pegasus mare in mid-air, mere inches from my face. I let her down gently. "You okay?"

The grey mare blinks her eyes googling around in their sockets before one manages to align with your face. "Uh..." Her misaligned eyes shrink to pinpricks. "H-Hello there... S-sir..." She audibly gulps, looking you head to toe. "N-Nice... Shoes you have there."

I gasp lightly. "Derpy? Derpy Hooves?"

She yips, "U-Uh..." She fiddles the pizza off her back and hoofs me the only slightly beat up box. "P- Please d-d-don't eat me..." She hoofs me the pizza.

I set the pizza aside, hugging her. "You've no idea how happy I am to see you!"

She freezes up slightly, "H-Huh?"

I let go, smiling at her. "You're an inspiration to me."

"Despite having your eye problem and your discoordination, you carry on. You help to remind me that it's great to be different." I laugh nervously. "Sorry if this is a bit weird, I know you've never seen me before."

Her mouth moves wordlessly, her brow furrowing in amusing ways.

"S-sorry, I hope I didn't frighten you. You're just... You're Derpy. You're amazing."

She cracks a small smile, "R-Really..? I... you..." She sits down slowly, as though fearing she'll fall through the world.

I nod, smiling, and I can't help but hug her again.

She wraps her hooves around me as well. "Thank you..." Your shoulder feels a tad damp.

I feel a tug on my shirt. "U-Uh... Are you two special someponies?" Sweetie asks from behind me, "And are you gonna do the special dance? Rarity usually does that in her room."

I smile, turning to Derpy. "Well? Are we?" I laugh gently.

She rapidly shakes her head, "N-no, we just met..." She glances away awkwardly. "How could you even suggest..." She mumbles softly.

I blink, surprised. "I-er, I meant Special Someponies not...” I glance at Sweetie, who's sitting there with a confused look. "..Sorry."

They're both just staring at me quietly, "So... This is our pizza right?"

"Um, yep! Would you mind taking it in for us, Sweetie? I'll be in in a moment. I have to pay," I look at Derpy. "And maybe chat for a minute. Is that alright?"

She nods, taking the pizza inside. Derpy rubs her forelegs with her hoof, "Er... Yeah. It's fine."

I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. "So, sorry about that... I didn't mean to make you think I was asking for that... I meant to teasingly ask you to be my Special Somepony since she brought it up."

She nods, looking at her very interesting hooves. "Yeah I... Yeah..."

I blink as a sudden thought comes to me. "Oh, wait. Do you already have one? I didn't even think to ask, I'm sorry." I chuckle awkwardly. "I guess I got a little excited, seeing you in person for the first time. Meeting your idols never quite goes as well as expected, huh?"

She shakes her head, "N-No. He uh..." She trails off. "What do you mean by 'idol'...?"

"I mean, I look up to you, you're one of the most amazing mares ever. You carry on despite any shortcomings you have, and you're... you're you. What's not to love?" I feel a slight heat in my cheeks. "Sorry if this seems a bit weird...”

She shakes her head slightly, "I don't understand... Are you..." She sputters slightly, "Have you been stalking me?"

My eyes open wide as I realize that it's exactly what it sounds like.

"No, it's... okay, well, I'm not sure if you'd believe me if I told you. Want to hear a crazy story?"

She furrows her brow, opening her mouth. "C'mon!" Sweetie yells behind us, "The food's getting cold!" Derpy flinches.

Derpy scoffs before chuckling. "I uh... How about you tell me that story over a slice of pizza?"

I smile. "I was about to ask if you wanted to. C'mon in," I offer.

She smiles and follows me inside.