The Reluctant Hero

by Theshadeofblades

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Anthro, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2377

An average, everyday joe is selected (Without his agreement) to be a hero for a world that expects FAR too much from him. Hilarity and much colorful language ensues, along with an epic adventure.

Hi, I'm Jack. Jack Kane. I'm an ordinary, average, everyday kind of guy. I live in a tiny as hell mid-cost apartment where I'm forced to listen to everyone else in every other side room. I work a dead end job in a cafe where I earn barely enough to keep scraping a living from tips and my shitty paycheck. I even look average, and above all else, normal. Nothing special that sets me apart what so-ever. So why the hell was I the one that was chosen above all others…? Makes no sense to me. Not even slightly. But I should stop rambling and get right to the point. Although, that… Might take some time to explain. Uh I guess I should start from the beginning. Well it begins kinda like most shitty, cliché, and over-dramatic mystery novels do. On a dark, foggy, rainy late night…
….Wow, that was waaaay too over-dramatic. Just read it already…

(Intro theme for those interested.)
{Outro theme for those intrested.}

[Triggers include: (eventualy) Op-ness, non-bimbo form Anthros, character may be going for the character you like, lots of unoriginal music.]

[Cover art by Jackaloftrades]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-19 03:59:58 UTC

The Average day of an average man, or is it?

[Insert epic intro here.]

As Jack re-filled a few cups for some customers, handed them out, and watched them walk away he sighed inwardly and thought, "Just another day in paradise..."

All of a sudden, as he leaned against the wall thinking to himself, he heard someone clearing their throat behind him and then saying, "Daydreaming again Jack?"

He turned, expecting to see his boss but instead he saw his best friend and co-worker, Nicholas. Though he preferred to be called 'Nick'. Jack gave him an embarrassed smile and said, "Nick. Man am I glad it's only you. Thought the boss had caught me wool-gathering..."

Nick gave a lopsided grin and responded, "He just might one of these days! What has you moping about like this?"

Jack sighed and looked up at the ceiling overhead, his hands in his pockets, and quietly said, "I dunno. I just feel...nah it'll sound crazy..."

Nick nodded, smiled understandingly, and said, "You're stir crazy man. It's natural at our age when we stay in a job like this for a while."

Jack shrugged and replied, "Maybe. I just feel like there's more to life than just working at a shop like this..."

Nick nodded sagely and put a hand on Jack's shoulder saying, "Not for average Joes like you and me my friend. For us, this is all we can have, at least, with our kind of training. Anyway, we had best get back to work before the boss catches us."

And as they were about to turn back they heard someone from behind them saying, "Yeah you should. Otherwise you will find yourselves looking for new jobs."

Jack and Nick turned around to see their boss behind them with his arms crossed, and a SCARY scowl on his face. He then extended one hand, pointing towards the counter where a line of people were standing waiting to order and said three words, "Hop to it!"

Jack and Nick then sprang to work. And the day continued on as any other average workday did.

*3 Hours later...*

Jack walked down the street, his green backpack slung over his shoulder. As he passed through the neighborhood that was just next to his he wondered at how all the buildings he passed always were always completely spotless and gleaming.

Each of the shops having shining displays and fancy furniture. But then he arrives at the edge of his block. Compared to the neighborhood he had been in before, his was much, much worse. It was full of dilapidated and run-down buildings with boards over the windows and graffiti tags sprayed across the walls on every building straight to the end of the street.

As he approached the door to his apartment building he muttered, "Home sweet home..."

He then unlocked the door and re-locked it behind him. As he walked up the stairs to his floor he heard the normal noises of the building around him, People yelling and arguing in some rooms, Rock music blaring from others.

After a few more moments of walking he finally arrived at his floor. He entered his apartment, Setting down his backpack on his sofa he sat down and leaned back on the plush seat with a weary sigh of relief. Yet another day in the life of an average Joe... just like always...

*Many hours of sleep later*

Jack slowly awoke to a cacophony of activity from the rowdy neighborhood outside. And of course he also heard the normal sounds of the building he was in accompany the other noises from outside the window.

He sat up, the blanket he had pulled onto himself falling down into a crumpled pile at his feet as he did so, then stretched his arms with a yawn and said, "Well... At least it's my day off today..."

He rubbed his eyes, let out another, much louder yawn, and fell backwards back onto his couch's backing. He rubbed his eyes again and muttered, "Well...even on my day off I still have some work to do around here...fuck my life..."

He then reluctantly got up, pulled on slack and a t-shirt, and began working around the apartment. He began generally tidying things up and also did a little bit of re-organizing as well.

As he cleaned he suddenly came across an old-looking necklace in one of the drawers in his closet and froze in place. After a few moments of frozen silence he closed his eyes and quietly said, "Well...This is a surprise to find..."

He remained still for a few moments in deep thought. Then, with a shrug, a shake of his head, and a muttered, "...Think about this later..." with a sighs he stuffed the necklace in the back pocket of his pants and got back to work on cleaning up his apartment.

*A few(?) hours of cleaning later*

Jack sat down on his newly cleaned up couch with a sigh of exhaustion. After a few moments of resting, his phone began to ring. He bit back a choice swearword, and reached over and answered it saying, "Hello?"

Immediately he heard a familiar voice on the other end, "Hey Jack, It's your old buddy! Listen, I got something to show you man. You'll like it!"

The voice was Jack's old friend from college, Luke Graydon. Jack raised an eyebrow and responded, "And why would I trust you? Last time you said you 'had something to show me' we both ended up getting in a lot of trouble! Namely me a lot more than you!"

On the phone Luke responded with a laugh and replied, "Cmon man, this time I got some good, LEGAL, info for us-in this case you, to check out. You can trust me this time...I promise...!"

Jack sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a moment of silent thought, he said, "Fine...Where do you want to meet up?"

Luke immediately replied, "You know that cafe we used to pop into to get a coffee? Meet me there."

Jack rolled his eyes, mouthing a silent insult to the uncaring ceiling above, and replied, "I WORK there...I'll meet you there in a hour."

Luke responded, "Great. See you then buddy!" and hung up. Jack, after a moment of private annoyance at his old friends antics, closed his phone, Stood up, And headed off to the Cafe.

*One hour later*

As he walked into the cafe Jack looked around and spotted Luke at the back corner table, seemingly looking at a laptop on the table in front of him. Jack walked over and cleared his throat loudly, trying to attract his attention.

Luke looked up and grinned from ear to ear, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He stood and extended his arms out saying, "Ey! You finally showed up!"

As he looked at Luke, Jack couldn't help but think about how odd Luke can be. Standing at 6 feet tall, Luke was an odd example of an English born man. His sun-bronzed Italian face and machine-gun way of speaking, combined with his Cockney English accent, puts many people off when they first meet him. But he was always a good person to have beside you in a fight.

He stepped forwards and pulled Jack into a bear hug. After a moment of very awkward silence Jack patted his back a few times and said, "Yup...I'm here. Now, what did you want to show me...?"

Luke backed off and motioned for him to sit by where he had been sitting. Jack sat down with a sigh and made a 'go on' motion, impatiently saying, "Well? Get on with it...what did you want to show me?"

Luke sat down next to him and motioned to the laptop on the table. Jack looked at it and raised an eyebrow at the image and line of text above it. ["Local tycoon Winston Graydon's will released"]

Jack turned and looked at him askew, holding up one hand before pointing a finger at Luke. After a moment he incredulously said, "Wait, wait...You, you're...?"

Luke chucked and scratched the back of his head for a few moments before saying, "Yeah...My pops is a rich dude. Although I didn't get one cent of help after I became 18....Sorry if I disappointed you, but he believed in people making their own way. So I never got much help from him..."

Jack sighed and leaned back in his seat, remaining silent in his thoughts for a bit before pointing to the laptop saying, "So what does this will have to do with anything..? Why is this 'interesting' to you?"

Luke chuckled and replied, "Well, he gave me a warehouse near the pier, but I bet he left me something else there for me to find. He always did have a thing about hidden treasure. Anyway, I'm a bit busy with my latest bit of work...so, you think you could check it out for me?"

Jack sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, remaining silent for a while before shaking his head and saying, "Shoulda figured you were going to make me do some simple, menial task like this..."

Luke extended his arms and said, "Hey hey hey! I've done you plenty of favors...so why not do me one for a change...? Come on pal...please...?"

Jack slowly nodded his head with a resigned expression and said, "All right...but the slate is clean after this one...got me? No more favors."

Luke nodded with a lopsided grin and patted Jack's shoulder, and told him, "Good! It's at this address...I'll head off to work, tell me if you find anything, all-right?"

Luke then handed Jack a slip of paper with the address on it and stood up. He then folded his laptop, picking it up and walking out. He walked out the door waving to Jack. After a few moment sitting at the table, Jack muttered a rather inventive curse and stood as well. He walked out the door, opened the paper with the address on it, and walked down the street in the direction of the warehouse.

*A long while of walking later.*

As he walked up to the warehouse's front entrance Jack wondered aloud, “Why do I always allow Luke to get me into these situations…?”

He looked around the front entrance and scratched the back of his head with an exasperated sigh. He walked up to the door and tried the key in the lock. The lock clicked a few times before finally unlocking.  He tried to push it open, but the door was stuck into the frame by age and un-use.

He muttered a few choice insults about Luke and stepped back from the door. Then cracked his neck side to side before rushing towards the door. He gave a short hop forwards and kicked out with his right foot, slamming the door back with a resounding ‘Crack’. He gave a short chuckle and dusted his hands saying, "Well, that’s that…Time to head in and check the place out…”

He pulled out a small flashlight from one of his pockets, clicked it on and walked inside. As he shined the light about he finally found a light switch covered by cobwebs by the doorway.  He flicked it on, but nothing happened.

He shook his head with an aggravated sigh and thumped the panel. And just like in the movies the light flickered and came on. He blinked a few times, getting his eyes adjusted to the light. He looked around for a moment before shutting off his flashlight. He tossed the flashlight into the air before pushing it into a recess in his jacket.

As he looked around Jack saw massive strings of cobwebs covering the ceiling, going from rafter to rafter. The entire place was cluttered with old crates and junk, stretching from one end of the building to the other like it was the hanger from Indiana Jones. He slowly shook his head and said, “Dear god…this is going to take forever…”

But as Jack was about to start looking around he felt warmth in his right pocket. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and slipped a hand into the pocket and pulled out the necklace he had picked up from his closet. But one thing was different about it. Namely, it was glowing. Jack blinked a few times, and rubbed his eyes.

After he was certain he wasn’t hallucinating he pulled it closer to his face, trying to figure out what was going on with it. But as he brought it closer to his face the glow faded. He frowned and lowered it, moving it forward again. And as soon as he did that, the glow returned. He suddenly thought of an idea and mumbled, “Can’t be…”

He turned to the left, and as soon as he did the glow faded. He turned back, and the glow returned. He laughed once, incredulously, and said, “It’s a freaking compass…of…some sort or other…”

He walked forwards and the small glow grew brighter. He raised an eyebrow again and continued following where the necklace was leading. But not without saying, “I must be having one hell of a trip or something from the must and mold…that or stored drugs.”

Eventually after much walking, tripping over pipes, cursing, and bumping of his head, he arrived at another locked door. He tried the key on the lock and was immediately confused as the key didn’t fit the lock. He scratched his head and tried to see if he could do anything else about the lock.

Suddenly as he moved in even closer to the door the gem on the end of the necklace broke off and FLEW into the lock, vanishing in the process. He remained in place for a moment before wondering aloud, “Did that...REALLY, Just happen?”

Then, not even moments before he finished speaking, the ground suddenly began to shake and the doors vanished. He yelped in surprise and turned, starting to run away. But he couldn't move fast enough. Suddenly a blast of energy washed over him as he roars out, “Oh CRA-” And then, suddenly, nothing but the door, and a set of footprints on the ground was left behind.