Author's Note
This came from the top of my head so I decided to write it in hopes I could make you laugh with my terrible sense of humor. Warning I worked on this for about six hours. That meant from 8:30 PM to 3:00 AM. This most likely means I was half asleep at the end and half insane. Anyways, I hope this story makes you laugh and smile a bit and I hope you enjoy.
WTF IS THIS
It was a beautiful afternoon in equestria and everything was so peaceful. The bird were flying around the towns happily and ponies were out talking with one another while their children played in the field. In canterlot,where places are usually busy, the cafe’s were gathered with ponies meeting up and the streets were crowded. But it was surprisingly very calm...for now..
In the Canterlot Castle, solar court was just about done. The solar court times have just changed so Lunar court could start early and end at about eight or nine. Luna was hurting because she never spent time with Celestia after solar court. Celestia hated to see her little sister in pain and she too agreed it hurt not to be able to talk much with her younger sister. So she changed the time so she and Luna could spend some time together.
Celestia was glancing at the clock every once in awhile. She was kind of excited and relieved that the time was shortened. She honestly couldn’t stand these stuck up ponies who only talk about one thing. It’s like they meet up at the castle’s main entrance and says “who’s ready to fuck up Celestia’s day until she agrees to everything we ask?” Then they all cheer in agreement and start making backup plans if this one fails.
As the last pony came and left, Solar court finally ended. Celestia sighed with relief and happily walked out of the room to go see Luna. But first… She needed to congratulate herself with a big slice of the chocolate cake in the fridge.
………………………
Luna on the other hoof was in her room reading a novel about two ponies that got lost in the forest and had to survive until they were rescued. She finished the chapter she was on and put her book on the desk. She levitated a folder for the schedule for Lunar court And what a fucking surprise that no one signed up for a meeting in Lunar court..again. So that meant Luna was free.
“Maybe I can actually take a bath without being interrupted.” Luna said to herself.
Just as she said so, there was a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” Luna asked.
“It’s me.” Celestia's voice could be heard on the other side of the door.
Luna smiled a bit “Come in sis.”
Celestia walked in and smiled. “Good afternoon, Lulu.”
“To you as well, Celestia.” Luna smiled back.
“What have you been up to?” Celestia asked.
“Just reading..And i’m guessing you had the chocolate cake in the fridge.” Luna replied.
“How did you know I did?” Celestia asked surprised.
“You have cake frosting all over your mouth.” Luna laughed.
“Dammit…..” Celestia said and used her magic to get the chocolate off her face.
Luna chuckled and rolled her eyes playfully. “Well I was about to take a bath as I have no one signed up for court. So after my bath i’ll hang out with you for a while.”
“A bath? Why don’t you just take a shower like the rest of us?” Celestia asked.
“A..shower?” Luna asked, slightly confused.
Celestia’s jaw fell a bit. “Do you not know what a shower is?”
“Nooo, I haven’t..” Luna said.
“Oh you are so taking one.” Celestia said.
“What the fuck is it though?” Luna asked
“One, you’re language shows me that you have been playing too many games and two, it’s the evolved form of a bath so to speak.” Celestia said.
“Ooh..yeah I still don’t get it.” Luna said
Celestia mentally face palmed “Then you will see one for yourself. Come on, you're taking a SHOWER in my room.” and with that, Celestia teleported Luna to her bathroom.
……...
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SATANIC CONTRAPTION?!” Luna yelled after taking one look at the shower..
“It’s a shower, Luna. See you can turn the water on like this and switch the heat of the water to your prefered temperature.” Celestia said showing her how the nozzle on the shower works.
“This was created by satan!” Luna backed up a bit.
“You didn’t even try the damn thing out!” Celestia said pointing a hoof at the shower.
“Oh hell naw. fuck this shit, i’m out!” Luna said and ran off.
“Luna get back here!” Celestia yelled and ran after her..
………
Celestia looked for 20 minutes and couldn’t find her over reactive sister.
“Ugh, where the hell would she be?” Celestia asked herself out loud. A few seconds after she said thats, There were noises coming from a closet in one of the extra rooms.
“Oh, thats where you are..” Celestia quietly walked over to the closet quickly opened the door to find Luna.
Luna screamed in terror. She instantly teleported behind Celestia and ran.
“CELESTIA IS TRYING TO PUT ME IN A SATANIC MACHINE.” Luna screamed running down the hall.
The guard's eyes shot open as they saw their night princess running down the hall and saying those things.
“LUNA IT’S JUST A SHOWER! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW.” Celestia yelled and chased after her.
One of the guards blinked and looked straight forward. “I got to lay of the vodka..”
Another guard patted his back “You’re not alone.”
…..
Luna managed to disappear again and Celesia was on the verge of losing her sanity.Then she felt so stupid when she realised she could track Luna down with a spell to find Luna’s magical aura.
“This should do the trick." Celestia said as she casted the spell.
Celestia was surprised at the location of Luna’s aura. “How the hell did she get on the roof that damn fast.”
Celestia quietly teleported onto the roof behind Luna. She quietly tried to walk up behind Luna to grab her, but as soon as she took her third step, Luna’s wings ruffled up as if she knew Celestia was behind her.
Celestia’s jaw almost fell open and thought. "How the hell did she already sense me, I was so damn quiet.”
Celestia decided to be risky, and leaped towards Luna in an attempt to grab her….but Luna immediately took off shouting “Not today satan spawn!”
Celestia rubbed the temples of her eyes with her hooves. “Here we go again.”
Celestia got up and quickly took off to catch up with Luna. Of course Luna wasn’t going down without a fight. So what did she do? She turned turned the forest into Celestia’s new obstacle course.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Celestia said as she dove into the huge maze of trees, vines and thorns.
Luna flew threw vines, over thorns and zig zagged passed trees. Celestia had to keep up and had to do the same thing Luna did or she would lose her sister again.
“Luna please stop!” Celestia shouted to get her attention.
“Not until I know you aren’t gonna feed me to satan you demon!” Luna shouted back and cleared the forest.
When Celestia finally got out of the forest, she was covered in leaves and dirt. Celestia’s eyes twitched and her mouth quivered. Finally she blew up in rage.
“THAT’S IT, I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Celestia yelled losing all sanity and teleported right in front of Luna, making her sister fly right into her. And before Luna could do anything, Celesia engulfed her in that oh so familiar golden aura. Luna likes to call it the “oh you’re so terribly fucked” aura.
"You will take a shower and you are going to like it!" Celestia said, half screaming..
Luna gulped and slowly nodded so her sister would wouldn’t yell anymore. “Alright you satanic demon, you win.. Feed me to satan..”
Celestia rolled her eyes “One, please don’t call me that. Two, it’s not a contraption that satan made. It’s a contraption that pours fresh water on your back rather than sitting in your own filthy water.”
Luna slowly nodded. “I’m still calling it satan spawn..”
Celestia shook her head “ Call it what you want after you try it out.”
Luna sighed in defeat “Fine..I’ll try out the dumb ass contraption..”
Celestia smiled a bit “Finally.”
…………
Celestia was sitting on her bed reading a romance novel when the bathroom door opened revealing a much cleaner Luna.
“Soooooo..” Celestia asked wanting an answer.
“It’s not bad to be honest.” Luna said
Celestia chuckled “You are so quick to judge Lulu.”
Luna blushed and smiled sheepishly “Yeah I guess I am.”
Celestia got up and nuzzled her sister lovingly “Even though you can be a pain at times, I love you Lulu. Don’t ever forget that.”
Luna nuzzled Celestia back and smiled softly “I love you too Tia.”
Celestia smiled at her younger sister and Luna smiled back warmly.
Luna yawned and then looked at the time. It was 10:30. Apparently Luna has been running from Celestia longer than she thought.
“Well i’m beat, and i’m guessing you are too.” Luna said.
“Yeah, I am pretty tired.” Celestia yawned.
“Well good night Tia.” Luna said walking to the door.
“Goodnight Lulu.” Celestia replied.
“Oh and uh, Tia..” Luna said looking back at her sister “Do you get scared easily?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow “yeeeeesss, why?”
“Oh no reason, I was just curious.” Luna said slyly. And with that, she left.
Celestia thought about it for a bit then gasped.
“She didn’t..” Celestia said to herself
She quickly got up and ran to the shower in the bathroom. There was a note on the screen door of the shower. Celestia quickly grabbed it with her magic and read it.
“Satan is watching you through the drain. Do try to keep your hoof away from the drain or he might grab it and pull you in.”
Celestia’s eyes shot open and she stared straight ahead of her. Her lip quivered again and her twitching eye came back. Celestia took a deep breath and let it out in the Loudest way possible…
“LUNAAAA!!!!!”
