Canterlot Quartet: How to Be Cool in Canterlot

by Furious Flyer Dashie

Anything You Can Do

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The sound of the city was none to be missed by any. The rushing sounds, the hooves beating, the voices blending, and the lives rattling about. It was truly a place to marvel. So high class, so elegant, and so.... crowded! Mid day, the dry air leaving a lot to be desired by the traveling pony, was a busy time of day for sure. Ponies on lunch breaks, and others leaving from work for a shift change, maybe some were even leaving from their final shifts. However, the lives of those in this corner of the city were of little relevance to the tall tan stallion sitting comfortably at a steel table before a small sweets shop. His blonde man sat still atop his head as no breeze would free it of its position, although the owner of this mane wished desperately of it to release him of the heat. With a sigh and a a quick look at the small clock atop the door of the shop he put his face into his hooves. The street was bustling, and it wasn't helping with the heat. The cute little shop was left untouched, however, despite its lovely colour and sweet smell, the pale creme yellow painted bricks and cotton candy parasols on blue steel benches all steaming hot, and not as attractive to a passing pony on a day like this. This was miserable. All of it. Pure misery. The stallion gave a solid grunt before feeling a tap on his shoulder, and a lovely elegant voice of another stallion grace him.

"I'm glad to see you made it, Fredric!" the voice chimed, "I do hope I didn't keep you waiting long!"

The tall tan stallion, Fredric, looked up to see who he had been waiting for. An evenly built unicorn stallion, a powder white coat and ice blue mane, his mustache well brushed and a gentle smile on his muzzle. On his back he wore only the finest of  suits, a sign of his status. Fredric simply smiled and shook his head, despite his impatience with the heat, he remained polite.

"Oh no, Fancy, trust me, it wasn't long at all!" with a wave of his hoof he invited the unicorn to join him at the table. "Please, do sit and join me! I am sure you are very thirsty! Let me order you a drink!"

"Oh stop now with formalities, you'll make me blush!" a jingling laugh akin to a full coin purse shaking fell from Fancy's lips. "I can handle my own bill."

"Now now, I invited you here, the least I can do is order you a pop for actually showing up."

"Oh? Did you think I would leave you here?"

"I have heard enough stories from local mares to be more than worried about your ability to remember a date!"

"Oh posh! Ol' boy you are not after my bits nor my hoof! I have no worries about coming here, unlike those mares! Hmph! They only have one thing on their minds I tell you! Lucky me I was able to avoid such problems with my niece, she enjoys the simpler things in life. A true and honest pony she is!" Fancy accented his words with a wave of the hoof to the mare inside the shop who came outside quickly to take their order.

"Fancy, I worry you will lose all of your riches with that attitude!" Fredric laughed. Fancy Pants turned and gave a simple chuckle.

"So be it, if a rich stallion cannot speak his mind, I wish not to be rich." The mare came to their table with a smile.

"Hello!" the lovely creme mare with a large two coloured mane chimed with a wide smile, "My name is Bon Bon, what can I get for you two today?" Fancy tapped his chin in mock thought before he turned and gave her a winning smile.

"I'm not quite sure, I do not frequent here... surely you have something cold and sweet that will suit this weather?"

Bon Bon smiled and nodded, giving her attention to Fredric who seemed almost distracted.

"I uh... give me whatever he is having, thank you." With a nod, Bon Bon went back into the store to complete their order leaving the two stallions to speak. Fredric sighed and shook his head with a weary smile. "I must look right mad."

"I can't imagine why you would think that." Fancy said passively with a grin.

"Oh don't play coy, Fancy, you know me too well not to know when I'm upset."

"If I wanted to play mind games on a leisure day I'd go to one of those gold digging mares. I expect you to be a big stallion and talk about your feelings."

"Fine." Fredric said simply with a huff, clearly upset at the snide mocking. "I'm worried for the Quartet. We're talented, but I don't know how to excel from here. I mean, the group is good, but we don't have the creditably, our names aren't big enough to be put out as a show ponies would pay to see!"

"So you want more street cred?" Fancy said with a chuckle. Fredric gave him a confused look. "Oh just some new age slang my niece has been using. You know, she's started a group of her own too? I'm their manager, and they haven't even had a single performance yet, but already they are growing popular amongst the youths!"

"What?"

"Oh! Yes, this is what you where moaning about? Well, I am sure my niece and her friends would be more than happy to teach your quartet how to be cool, as they say, haha!" Fredric took a long swig of his drink before placing it back to the table, looking amused at a rather frazzled Fredric.

"Oh? Your team of hoolagins teach my quartet?! Ha! Excuse me for thinking such a claim could be made!" Fredric was gritting his teeth, his eyes wide, almost as if they would burst.

"But you just said your quartet was having a hard time getting recognition?" Fancy smiled, looking idly about as if he were playing some practiced game.

"Well! I.... Well yes!...? But I know if we were to start on a level playing field, my quartet would be the most famous! We have class and taste!"

"And who is to say my darling niece and her group do not have taste and class?" Fancy said taking a tinge of offense.

"Oh please, what could your band of youngsters that use such slang possibly bring to the table as far as class?" The brown earth stallion relaxed a bit, but didn't move from his seat.

"Those, dear sir, are fighting words! If I were younger I'd give you a good boxing!"

"Yes, the feeling is mutual, had I a more limber body, I would give you a good knocking to that thick good for nothing unicorn skull!" Fredric quickly covered his mouth with a hoof as the words slipped past his lips.

"Oh..." Fancy looked hurt, his eyes looking away before they bore back at the brown stallion with a fury unlike any before. "Y-you... fine! I see how this will turn out. I guess we will settle this with a gentleman's  bet.... I must let you know that they are... all unicorns. I hope the rest of your quartet doesn't share your strong... feelings for them."

"Fancy, you know I didn't mean it like that... I'm not like that anymore."

"Words are cheap, I buy them regularly. Actions, however, are much more prominent. We will meet the day after tomorrow at Canterlot station."

With that, the tall white aristocrat got up from his seat, pouring bits onto the table and turning, leaving the silent Fredric to cover his face with his hooves.

"Horse feathers....."