Discord sat alone in his outer-dimensional home, pondering to himself. Reports had been popping up all day about ponies all across Equestria who had been mysteriously shrunken. Most of them came from Ponyville, but just thinking about it made the old draconaques crack up. It also gave him a sinister idea. He knew for a fact that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were scheduled to meet with the delegates from Saddle Arabia the next day. That would be the perfect opportunity for him to have a little fun at their expenses. The gears were already turning in his head as he plotted out exactly what sort of tortures he would put them through.

As soon as the delegates arrived at the castle the next day, the princesses greeted them and everyone began to take their seats in the conference room. Unbeknownst to them, Discord had entered the room as well. He was the size of a housefly and ready to make the princesses squirm.

Princess Luna was the last one to sit down. Just before she did, the tiny chaos spirit slipped into her chair, allowing the moon princess to sit right on top of him. "Oh, I've always enjoyed a full moon," he said with a giggle. The moon princess wiggled around in her seat as she felt something strange under her backside. Little did she know that the little object was quite enjoying the massage. Her cheeks, though large and a bit heavy, were softer than even Fluttershy's own hands on his back.

"Is everything alright, your highness?" asked the female delegate.

"Oh, yes," Luna said. "Just... getting comfortable. Let's get started, shall we?"

As the royals got down to business, Discord suppressed a laugh and moved on to his next target. He teleported himself into the front of Luna's gown, gazing up at her magnificent dark blue belly. A beautiful canvas for a great work of art. He dipped his tail in a bucket of orange paint and began brushing it all over the giant princess's stomach. It didn't take long before she started vibrating with laughter. She fought hard to suppress it, but whatever was tickling her was not making it easy.

"Um... your highness? Are you alright?" asked the other delegate

Finally, the tiny trickster decided to give her a break and she stopped laughing long enough to answer. "Yes, I'm... I'm fine. I was just.... remembering something funny I heard the other day. Now where were we?"

Discord admired the masterpiece he had painted on Luna's belly. It said "Moon Butt" and he couldn't help bursting with laughter. With that he decided to move on to the older princess. He contemplated what he should do to her, then got a wonderfully devilish idea. With the speed of a mosquito, he whisked out of Luna's dress and into Celestia's nose, completely undetected.

When Discord saw how damp and unkempt the sun princess's nostril was, he tried his best not to vomit from the sight. "Ugh, this orifice is revolting. She really should clean this place out once in a while," he complained. "Oh well. I suppose I'll have to do it for her. Oh, what would she do without me?" He popped on a maid's outfit and began using a feather duster to tickle the wall's of Celestia's nostril, whistling a merry tune as he did.

The princess started to feel the irritation in her sinuses. She sniffed and rubbed her nose to try and get rid of it, but it didn't work. Luna took notice of this. "Sister, do you require a handkerchief?" she inquired, pulling one out to offer her.

"Yes, thank you." Celestia accepted the cloth from her sister. "Excuse me. I have to sneeze."

As the gigantic princess's breath hitched more and more, Discord realized that the moment of release was at hand. "Well, I suppose I'd better prepare for launch." He magically changed into a daredevil's outfit and fastened a helmet firmly to his head.

"AHSHOOOO!!" Everypony was startled at how loud Celestia's sneeze was. She didn't even hold back with highly important company in the room. Her eruption unwittingly shot Discord right into the tissue. "Gesundheit, Princess," said the male delegate, to which she responded with thanks.

The princess magically teleported the tissue away, but Discord stayed. He figured he had earned himself a little break. He knew the perfect place to rest, too. The miniature draconeques made himself comfortable in Celestia's colossal and very generous bosom. It was like resting between a pair of royal mattresses. So big and soft and so very warm. Their softness was accompanied by the heavenly smell of magnolias due to the princess's perfume. It was all so delightful and peaceful that Discord felt himself start to doze off. Pretty soon, he had completely drifted off to sleepy time.

As Celestia spoke of a proposition about a potential new trade agreement, she suddenly noticed one of the delegates' eyes staring curiously at her chest. "Ahem!" she coughed, getting him to focus on her voice. "Are you listening to me?"

"Oh, yes! Forgive me, your highness. I meant nothing by it," the delegate said defensively. "It's just that there seems to be something sticking out of your... um..."

Princess Celestia glanced down at her breasts to see what he was pointing to and she instantly recognized the foreign object. So did her sister. Both of their faces lit up red with humiliation. "Um, could you please excuse us for just a moment?" Celestia asked, placing a hand over the little creature napping in her cleavage.

"Of course," the female delegate responded, allowing both princesses to hurry out of the room.

Once they were alone, Celestia pulled the tiny troublemaker out of her cleavage and shouted his name to wake him. "Huh? What?" he exclaimed groggily. "Ohhh! Ehehehe. Greetings, your highness-ses. What can I do for you?"

"It seems you've already done plenty, Discord," Celestia scolded.

"We should've known you'd use our meeting with the Saddle Arabian delegates as a chance to enact your childish mischief."

"Well, what can I say? I see an opening and I go for it."

"Well, I know a place to put you where there are no openings for you to find," said Celestia with a rather specific punishment in mind.

For the rest of the meeting, Discord sat on the table sealed inside a magic jar with a spell designed specifically to keep him from escaping. With no way out, there was nothing he could do but listen to dull royals prattle on and on about boring international affairs. It was so unbearable. If he wasn't immortal, Discord was positive he would've died of boredom.

Author's Note

Honestly, I have a hard time deciding between Celesticord and Lunacord for which pairing I like better.