A cloud drifted; a lonely dot of grey in the darkening sky. It defied the rising wind, getting further and further South, slowly getting passed the Ghastly Gorge and its infrequent, wind-induced moans. There was nopony miles and miles around, at the notable exception of a purple alicorn, closing on to the cloud and a cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus, laid on said cloud.
The alicorn awkwardly came closer, her wings fighting the treacherous winds and their own inexpertise. Despite the agitation and flapping noises, the pegasus didn't move, as if unaware of the presence of the other pony. Finally, after moult efforts, Twilight managed to reach Rainbow Dash.
"Hello Rainbow," the alicorn greeted, still flying above the cloud.
The pegasus still didn't move, nor answer.
"I know you're not asleep," Twilight stated calmly. "Your breath is slightly irregular, your position is forced and uncomfortable and more importantly, I saw you awoke from a distance."
Rainbow Dash stayed silent. Twilight hovered closer to the cloud, a few centimetres above the resting pegasus.
"I am not here to reprimand or blame you. I just want to talk. Something has been bothering you for the past few days and it is obviously bad. We're friends." She put a hoof on the pegasus shoulder. "I just want to talk," she repeated, softer.
"There's nothing to talk about," the pegasus finally answered.
Twilight felt slightly relieved. Maybe she could reach her friend after all. As carefully as she could, she landed on the cloud and sit next to Rainbow. There was a moment of quiet silence. Twilight took a time to appreciate it. The cloud was very comfortable. A soft breeze carried them lazily and made the hot summer day extremely nice.
No wonder she likes these so much... she mused. Maybe I should try it too sometimes...
Her eyes turned toward her friend. She had stopped faking, but was still laid out. Rather than sleeping, she now looked like she was sulking. She probably was.
"You want to talk about what happened?" the princess asked.
"Didn't you ask Rarity?"
"Rarity and Fluttershy refused to tell me anything. They wanted me to find you."
"How is she?" Rainbow asked after a moment. Guilt and pain oozed through her voice.
"You'll have to ask her yourse-" the princess started. She stopped as she saw the guilt and pain in her friend's expression. "She's hurt, but she's strong and she's waiting for you."
"Why would she? I'm a jerk! And a bad friend! Element of Loyalty my flank!" She tried to hide the few tears she'd fail to repress. Twilight's instinctively unfolded her wing to hug her, but she stopped the movement half-way. It was probably not a good time for that. Instead, she put a comforting hoof back on her shoulder.
"What happened?"
⚡⚡⚡
The storm had been raging inside Rainbow Dash for days now. It was not unlike an Everfree tempest: It was heavy, untamed, wild, destructive and most importantly it was unexpected. Or so Rainbow kept telling herself. She was not blind or carefree enough to ignore her state of mind - if anything, Tank's hibernation had helped her in that aspect - but it was another matter altogether to know why she felt it. Or what exactly she was feeling.
She'd been short with everyone these days. Especially her friends. They'd dismiss it, but Rainbow Dash knew. Something was bothering her. Hard. And she'd had little time thinking about it as she had to help Pinkie Pie's party preparations.
It had been three days in a row now. And, while she loved Pinkie's parties, she was simply not in the mood, but she wouldn't risk bringing out the pink mare depressed side again. And it was an important day for her friends. So she helped, by shaping clouds into boring losanges. At least the part when she had to shape them into butterfly was a little bit challenging. Then she had to actively bring out the magic inside her, make it flow to curve the soft almost immaterial object and give it its new form. But losanges? Losanges were boring. She could do them in her...
"Hum Rainbow?" said a bubbly voice on the ground.
"Huh... yeah?" the pegasus said, snapping out her daydream.
"I know lightnings are awesome! I mean your cutie mark has a lightning on it so that makes it automatically extra-duper-super awesome! Not that other cutie marks are not awesome, but you're pretty much super-duper and that makes lightnings especially awesome. Almost as awesome-possum as you, but not as awesome!"
"Yeah, yeah Pinkie, I'm pretty great. Tell me something I don't know..."
"Did you know that Prance send three thousands tulips and orchids and a special rose cake to Princess Celestia, every year for the first day of winter, as a way to thank her for her help in the repelling the Windigos, during the Second Great Winter? In return, the princess raise the sun from the Neighfel Tower that day. They've done so for two hundred and sixty-two years in a row now!"
"Huh... Okay, that's pretty neat. I admit I didn't know that..."- Pinkie squeed a smile in delight. -" What did you want, Pink'?"
"Oh yeah! I know lightning are awesome, but they are a teensy weensy not at all on Rarity's cutie mark?"
"What? Of course they aren't! What..."
Pinkie pointed the cloud RD was working on. It was undeniably lightning-shaped.
"I... huh..."
"Don't worry about it! I know losanges are waaaaaay too easy for you. I understand that you'd want a little challenge."
"Huh... yeah..." she said. What the hay is wrong with me?
She was trying to understand how she could have done such a mistake when Twilight arrived, her wings flapping loudly as she still struggled with this whole flying concept.
"That's an interesting design," Twilight teased, pointing the mix between Rainbow and Rarity's cutie mark. "Want to be included in the little celebration?"
Rainbow Dash groaned. Somehow, the joke irked her more than she cared to admit. She tried to shape the losange again, but the fluff in her hooves did not cooperate. The more she lost patience, the more it lost its cohesion and soon started to fall apart. Her frustration rose as the whole thing started to crumble into pieces. It was supposed to be a piece of cake! Rainbow was seconds to loose her cool. Twilight might have noticed. The princess put her hoof on the pegasus's flank.
"Don't worry about it. I'll go fetch a new one. Actually Pinkie and I came to ask you if you could stall Rarity and Fluttershy a little? Applejack, and I already did it twice and we fear they'll finally get what's happening."
Rainbow hesitated, then wondered why she did. "Of course. Thanks."
"No problem," Twilight assured with a smile. "They should be in Fluttershy's cottage. They're taking care of Winoona. Will you be okay?"
The last question took her by surprise. Will she be okay? "Yeah sure. I can do it my eyes closed."
~
The flight toward Fluttershy's cottage was way too short for her liking. That's the thing with being the fastest flyer alive. All distances were short.
Useless thoughts bubbled in her head on the way, harassing her in a place where she couldn't physically assault them. But it didn't mean she wouldn't try. She'd speed up mid-air and break suddenly, doing looping after looping in hope that tiring her body would put some order in her thoughts. By the time she arrived, she still didn't feel better, but she was tired enough to limit the thinking to a minimum.
The outside of the cottage was devoid of fauna, in critter or pony form. Meaning that Fluttershy and Rarity were still inside. Good. So the surprise was likely still a surprise.
Rainbow sighed. It also meant she still had to do her job. Another resigned sigh escaped her muzzle. Might as well do it. She inhaled deeply and gathered her resolve.
"Hey girls!" she shouted while entering the cottage.
The place was unusually quiet. Fluttershy cohort was not free to roam the tree house as it usually did. This was strange. Rainbow knew for a fact that she didn't like having them locked up. She only did it when she had to leave the house for a prolonged periods of time and, considering the sleeping dog in the middle of the room, she was still somewhere in the area.
Did she have a emergency?
"Girls?" she tried again.
Rainbow looked around, searching for clues or signs of Fluttershy's whereabouts. A small 'bang' in a corner of the room caught her attention. She looked, almost expecting to be attacked, only to find a very discontent Angel, hitting the door of the ferret cage he had been put in. The rabbit was a pest, but he was, for some reasons, one of the first critter friend of Flutter. Scratch that, he was probably her best non-pony, non-draconequus friend. So having him put into a cage was pretty rare and more often than not a way to punish him. But having him being put into the wrong cage? That was not the kind of mistake the Element of Kindness would do.
What's going on here?
Another noise made her jump. It came from Fluttershy's room, upstairs. Somepony was still here. Rainbow Dash hovered above the stairs, not making a sound. The hatch to Flutter's room was closed, which was another very unusual thing, but she could hear noises behind it.
Rainbow Dash was not the kind of pony to think a lot before she acted. And she had already spent a lot of her "think before you act" time just now. So her brain skipped the process and directly sent the orders to her muscles. She could break through that door, but she could just as quickly leave and go through the window.
In less time than it took to read this sentence, she was in the room, ready to strike whatever or whoever had invaded Fluttershy's space.
In a sense, she was right. Somepony had indeed invaded said space. Just not the way she'd fear it. She had expected a robber mugging her friends, not two lovers fooling around. Rainbow froze up. She wanted to get out of here, to at least give them some kind of privacy, but this time her brain refused to let her act and instead chose to bask in the spectacle. Her ability to grasp the entirety of a scene in a single glance, usually so useful was now playing against her. No detail escaped her. She saw Rarity leaning over Fluttershy, the pegasus laid down on her bed. She saw the white hoof slowly caressing and massaging her barrel. The yellow feathers inadvertently brushing the unicorn's side. Their lips, locked, their jaws, ajar, their tongues, dancing. Every details washed over her, submerged her, in the longest second of her life. And she wouldn't, couldn't, move.
They finally noticed Rainbow, who, ironically, was the one intruding. They broke the embrace, blushing and speaking words that Rainbow did not get. Maybe she answered them, because Rarity wasn't stopping. Now it was Fluttershy's turn. She was asking her something.
Come on brain!
She tried to shake herself out of her stupor. Why were things so difficult these days? She focused on Fluttershy. She was still talking. Good. Now what was she saying?
"...so I wanted to know, if, hum, you wanted to join me and Rarity?"
"Huh?"
"Come on Darling! Think of the thrill, the excitement! It would be like a ménage-à-trois! And it would mean the world to Fluttershy."
Was that what it was about? The first thing they'd do as an official couple would be to invite her to Celestia knows what? A part of her was screaming that something was wrong and that she didn't have all the info, but the rest of her being was sick, twisted and exhausted.
"Really? That's really what's going on?" Disgust and anger oozed from her voice.
Fluttershy flinched. "Rainbow?"
"Darling are you okay?" Rarity said, trying to touch her. Rainbow Dash recoiled as if the hoof was dipped in acid.
"Disgusting! Stay away from me! Both of you!..."
A few more words came out of her muzzle before she stopped. But everything was fuzzy now.. She felt sick. Had she screamed? She probably had. Rarity took a step back, eyes wide in surprise. But Rainbow couldn't care less. Fluttershy was cowering in a corner of the room, as if her body was trying to shrink, to take as little place as possible. She was trembling and sobbing. And crying.
This hurt. Way more than Rarity's hoof on her face, way more than falling on the ground, way more than the bruise she caused to herself as she fled through the tree's foliage, way more than the soreness in her wings when she finally stopped. Way more than all of those combined. It hurt and it didn't stop.
⚡⚡⚡
Twilight listened to the tale without a word. How much of this could she had prevented if she'd been more attentive or proactive? She realised how long the path to princesshood would be.
"And what did they want? Really?"
Rainbow Dash didn't answer.
"Rainbow, we both know that's not Fluttershy's style at all to wish for a threesome."
The pegasus still didn't answer.
"And let's suppose it was Rarity's style and wish, she is not the kind to push her that far outside of her boundaries, you know that too."
Still no answer.
"Rainbow what did they want?"
The silence grew thick. Twilight waited. Rainbow would tire before her. And she did.
"Fluttershy wanted to date me and Rarity at the same time, 'like a ménage-à-trois'" she said, mimicking the fashionista.
"And that's why you lashed out on them? Rainbow-"
"I'm not into mares!" she screamed. Her voice echoed in the gorge bellow, frightening the local fauna. Twilight waited until the mare calm down and the echo fade.
"I know. You've already told me so," Twilight answered calmly, a somewhat sad smile on her face. "But you're getting very defensive about it. Why?"
The pegasus opened her mouth, hesitant, then clench it shut. Whatever it was, it was troubling her a lot, Twilight thought, analysing the situation and the elements she had.
"It's Fluttershy isn't it?" Rainbow flinched and looked away. "She's different isn't it?"
"I'm not into mares!" Rainbow repeated, with way less conviction this time.
"But you love Fluttershy don't you?" Twilight insisted.
"I-"
So that's it, Twilight thought. Things are starting to make sense.
She let the pegasus wrestle her repressed feelings a moment before talking again.
"It's okay Rainbow. You're not into mares, that's fine, but you're into Fluttershy don't you? How long have you kept that inside?"
"I don't know," the cyan mare finally admitted. "At first it was easy ignoring it, but then she and Rarity started dating, then Pinkie went into a party frenzy to celebrate it and... and..."
"Don't deny your own feelings. If you really love Fluttershy, and if she's sharing this affection, you should at least consider it."
"But what about Rarity?"
"What about her? She didn't ask anything from you."
"Yeah she did!"
"I may be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure this was only a proposition for you and Fluttershy."
"But I don't want to be with Rare..."
"I believe she and Fluttershy both know that. No offence, but you're not Rarity's type either," she teased. "But I'm pretty sure Rarity knows that Fluttershy love you very much, and she'd like Fluttershy to be as happy as possible, with she and you surrounding Fluttershy."
Rainbow sighed, head hung low. "I know that..." Even before she had time to rethink the events, she had known. She was the Element of Loyalty, it came with a few perks. Like, for instance, an instinctive understanding of what people did in its name. And it made things even worse.
"Then what's the problem?"
"There are no problem."
"There obviously is. Rainbow... talk to me please."
The pegasus bit her lips, struggling with her own feelings. Twilight let her sort her feelings, hoping for a breakthrough. After some times, the pegasus seemed to reach a decision. She turned toward the alicorn, conflicted resolve on her face.
"Okay I will tell you something. Something I never told anypony and if you ever tell it, I'll deny I'd ever say it."
"Do you want me to Pinkie Promise?"
"No need for that... I trust you. Just... promise me okay?"
"I promise I won't tell anypony, not even Celestia, of this secret."
"Okay..." the cyan pegasus inhaled deeply. "I'm not a big fan of romance and all those mushy stuffs..."
"Well we all kinda knew tha-"
"Let me finish. But I can't do it. I... that's something I can't do. I can't do..." she struggled for words a moment, "all the stuff that's expected with it! I can't..."
Words seemed to escape her again. She fumbled a moment, fuming at her own inability to communicate what she wanted. Twilight waited calmly and gave her an encouraging smile. It seemed to help the pegasus. She took a few calming breath and when she talked, she was calmer and her words more fluid.
"When I saw them kissing and fooling around, it hurt me inside, because part of me was jealous of Rarity but another part wanted nothing to do with it. And when they invited me... I just couldn't bear it, Twilight. I tried. I swear I tried. But I can't..."
"What Rainbow? What can't you do?"
"I can't do THAT. You know! The thing! I don't want it! At all!" She saw the incomprehension in Twilight's eyes. Despite her best effort not to say it, she would have to say it. "I don't want sex! I don't find ponies sexy! I tried! But I can't! It doesn't work! I don't work!"
"Oh. Oh!"
There. It was said. She couldn't take it back now. Now Twilight would know what a freak she was. The laugh of the princess echoed in the canyon bellow, stabbing Rainbow's heart. She prepared to leave getting away from the mockeries of her friend. Twilight caught her before she did.
"I'm sorry Rainbow! I swear I wasn't mocking you! But it was insensitive of me to laugh. Will you accept my apology and listen to what I want to say?"
"Why? So you can tell me what a freak I am? So you can fix me?"
"Rainbow!" Twilight took the pegasus head between her hooves and gently make her meet her gaze. There was no judgement in her expression, only concern and affection. "Listen to me. You are not a freak, and I would never, ever try to fix anything about you! Okay except maybe your habit of crashing in my libraries." The joke made Rainbow flash a smile. A total victory in Twilight's book. "You're not broken," she whispered. This time, she put her wing around the pegasus and hugged her tight.
Rainbow reciprocated the hug. It felt as if a weight had been sightly lifted from her whole body. Not much, but enough to breath again. "Then why were you laughing?"
"Because, I should have known that if anyone would be ace it would be you," she smiled.
"Ace?"
"Ace. Short for 'asexual'," Twilight elaborated. Rinbow still didn't understand. Twilight patiently explained. "That's what you described. You feel no sexual desire or attraction for anypony. I got that right?"
Rainbow Dash nodded. Yes. That was it.
"Yeah..."
Ace. The word fitted her so well. The weight that had crushed her so long was evaporating. It was as if she'd been stuck into an ice prison for years and felt it melt around her. She was ace. That was it. Not "broken". Just ace.
"Is that why you let that stupid rumour with Soarin go on?" the alicorn teased.
"Wait? Rumour? What rumour?"
"Nevermind." Twilight said, sightly blushing. "What's important is that you should not feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with your special sompony, or someponies, that way. There are other ways to show affection."
"Like what?"
"Like hugs and pillow-slash-book forts and water balloons fights," she said with a dreamy smile.
"Huh... that's oddly specific."
The princess cleared her throat a bit too long for it to be natural. "What I mean is, spending time with your important somepony, or someponies, is enough. You can find your own way to show your love without having to... be intimate in that way."
" I guess... I just don't know if I can do that."
"So there is something the great and capable Rainbow Dash cannot do?"
"Yeah... wait no! Maybe?"
"Listen. You love her, she loves you, you know each other, I'm pretty sure you'll find something. If anything count on Rarity to find something in her romance novels."
Both mares stayed silent a moment. Rainbow Dash thought about all that had been said. She was still confused. It was a lot to ingest in one go. But she felt as if the situation was manageable now. She could do it.
"Why are you so cool?"
"My thank you!"
"That's not why I meant."
"Oh..."
"Okay, you're pretty cool," she corrected, "but I mean... why do you help me after... you know..."
Twilight looked into the horizon. Soon Celestia would set the sun and Luna raise the moon. Now, the sky was slowly darkening, turning from cerulean to purple. It was a nice sight. She sometimes wondered what it would look like if the two sisters did not rush the process...
"Because there is more than one way to show your love, Rainbow," she said with a serene smile. "You're the one who taught me that. And now, I share the lesson with you."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
There was a few moment of calm silence. "I need to apologise."
"That would be best."
"I'll need your help."
~
Getting Fluttershy to leave her cottage had taken some convincing. It was an understatement to say that the mare had been pretty upset by the whole situation, and she was not keen on talking to anypony. Rarity had still managed to take her out for a quiet night walk in Applejack's orchard. The farmer had guaranteed that nopony would disturb them there. Furthermore, it was such a lovely sight at this period of the year, and sometimes, the critters from the Everfree came out, which was always a very nice bonus. The pegasus had stayed silent all along, only communicating with small hints and signs Rarity had learnt to interpret. Rarity herself had not been very talkative, both worried for her companion and disappointed by a certain cyan pegasus. Yet, despite the delicate atmosphere, both mare were grateful for the change of pace. It was nice and soothing. It would not be enough to make things okay for the fashionista, even less so for Fluttershy, but it was a start and Rarity would take anything that would make this horrible day a little brighter.
I'll have to properly thank Twilight and Applejack for their suggestions, she noted mentally.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this particular promenade was about to be cut short by a building hunger. She was about to hint Fluttershy when she noticed a purple burst of light in her peripheral field of vision. On the top of a hill, under one of Sweet Apple Acre biggest trees was big basket, resting on a blanket, conveniently wide enough for two ponies to rest comfortably. Leaving Fluttershy's side for a moment, Rarity get toward the basket to find all the necessary for a romantic evening picnic for two and then some.
The girls have been busy I see, she thought, a smile slowly forming on her face. I will definitely have to find a way to thank them properly.
The unicorn waved at her marefriend, showing her the gifts that awaited them. To her relief, the pegasus smiled and came to help her settle. The sun was set as they got comfortable. There was abundance of food, and Rarity giggled at the attention of each of their friends. Twilight had made them tea from the Crystal Empire, Applejack had elected for some apple related treats and Pinkie Pie had chosen, quite logically, to shower them under pastries. She was about to pick something among the delicacies when she noticed the flowers in Fluttershy's hooves. She wondered how she could have missed them... they were relatively similar to sunflowers both in size and shape; the heart was smaller, the petals wider and thicker however, promising a more substantial meal; at the notable difference of its colour pattern. Instead of yellow with a dark brown centre, the flower had a creamy white heart and brightly coloured leafs. It looked as if the plant had been dipped into a liquid rainbow. For a moment Rarity feared the impact that the imagery could have on Fluttershy, but the pegasus seemed entranced by them.
"I do not know those flowers..." Rarity tried softly.
Fluttershy answered as in a daze, saying her first words of the afternoon. "Those... those are rare flowers that grow on Cloudsdale. They thrive on high altitude climates. We make them mature in concentrates of rainbow to give them their taste and colours... They were my favourite back in Cloudsdale but... how?"
"Well-"
A soft note rising into the air interrupted her. Another succeeded it, then another. Then more and more until they meshed into one fluid melody. The music rose in the air, clearly present, but not invading. Both mare recognised it to some point, but failed to clearly identify it. Fluttershy was the first to understand.
"It's our songs... it's both of our favourite songs at the same time."
It quickly became obvious to Rarity once stated. The music was unique, intimate... beautiful. The song meshed flawlessly, masterfully crafted into something new. The mares were so immersed in the experience, they did not immediately notice the change into the skies. Above them, the clouds started to shift and turn. It was clear that some pony (or ponies) was actively manipulating them, but the true meaning was hard to understand at first. This time. Rarity was the one to catch on.
In the evening skies, diamonds and butterflies danced on the tune of the music. It was a complex ballet, something as beautifully intricate as the tune that guided them. As the clouds got closer and closer, the music evolved, getting closer and closer to its apotheosis, creating its own rhythm and harmonies. The mares watched and listened and watched in awe, fully immersed in the experience until the climax was reached. In the night sky and the butterfly were resting atop of the diamonds. The song slowly faded.
Both mares slowly clapped, admirative at he work put through for them. They had the feeling however, that the event was far from over. They were right.
Before they could start to discuss it or hypothesise on the pony in charge of this incredible surprise, the music started anew. It was something different this time. It was a lone song, different than the other. It was fierce, it was strong... but it was also hesitant. Almost shy. Rarity didn't know it. But Fluttershy did. She did very well. She had heard it a couple of times, a long time ago. But she had never forgotten about it. Because it was Rainbow's favourite and probably only romantic song.
"Hey," said a voice from behind.
Both Rarity and Fluttershy turned. Rainbow stood there, guilty looking and clearly embarrassed.
"I hope you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you. Both of you." She looked at both mares in front of her. There did not look that happy to se her, but at least they looked like they'd at least listen to her. She could not ask for more.
Rarity and Fluttershy exchanged a glance, as to decide Rainbow's fate. The pegasus swallowed nervously during what was, once again, the longest second of her life. An eternity later, they turned toward her and nodded approvingly. Rainbow sighed of relief, then realised that she still had to talk to them. She took a deep calming breath and she started to explain.
"Gosh it was way easier in my head... Okay listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm like... the queen of jerks. There's no excuse for what I said. It was supposed to be a great day for you and I blew it. I'm sorry. I didn't understood what you wanted to say." She paused and turned toward Rarity. "No I didn't want to understand it because I was jealous of you, Rarity and I took the first excuse to lash out at you. You didn't deserve that. Listen Rare, I know you're great to Fluttershy. I mean, I'm not blind. You make her shine like diamond and you don't even need one of your fancy dress for that. I'm sorry."- She turned toward Fluttershy. -"Listen Fluttershy, I should have realised sooner.-" She took a deep breath and look at the yellow mare in the eyes "- Fluttershy, I lo-... I real-... Damn it!-"
Rainbow Dash mentally scolded herself for her ineptitude. She lifted her hoof in front of her face, then smacked herself with force. Fluttershy and Rarity gasped, but the speedstress didn't even flinch.
"Fluttershy,"she said with a clear and sure voice, "you're the awesomest mare I know and I know four alicorns and I am the most awesome flyer of all Equestria. I would be lucky if you'd still want me as a friend... Or more than a friend." Her eyes were fixated on the ground. her last words but a pleading whisper. "Is there still a chance for me?"
A hoof lifted her head up. A pair of blue eyes bore into hers. "Yes," she whispered.
Both pegasus embraced each other tightly, arms and wing entangled, under the softened sight of Rarity. The pegasi probably didn't notice it, but a new air was rising in the air, this one a mix of the three songs. Rarity smiled as fireworks lighted the night sky, spelling messages such as "congrats" and "You're awesome" or simply shapes like hearts and their respective cutie marks. She giggled softly. Such wonderful friends they had.
♥♥♥
Author's Note
I secretly (well not anymore) headcannon Rainbow as ace, so I wrote a little story about Rainbow Dash being ace. A few months passed, I accidentally deleted my work, I found an old copy, I reworked it and never finished it...
Then I learned about the Asexual Awareness and well. I found the missing motivation.
Hope you liked it.
