Keep Calm, We're gonna try to help

I laid in my bed waiting for my body to react to the constant beeping of my alarm clock. I finally decided to get up and get rid of the annoying beep of my navy blue alarm clock. I turned back over to see that my bed was empty, so I stood up and got some pants on and shambled over to my bathroom door. I walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection for a while before shaving the little stubble that had grown on my face and brushing my teeth. I walked downstairs and looked around for that waitress that I had brought home with me last night. She was cute, for an IHOP waitress but I managed to get her to come back to my place. I walked over to the fridge and pulled out some eggs and the milk. I put them next to a pan that probably hadn't been washed in the past month. I turned on the stove and quickly checked the expiration date on the milk to make sure I didn't eat some two-month-old eggs, again. I threw some scrambled eggs together for a quick breakfast and walked over to my answering machine to check my voicemails.

"One new voice mail," I waited for the automated message to end and play the recording.

"Hi, Zane it's your brother, Maurice, I'm calling to let you know that you missed your exercises and your ASVAB test, and they told me that if you miss another meet then they won't allow me to keep you in this," Maurice told me. I quickly hit the next message button and waited again for the automated message to play the message.

"Hi, Zane it's your wife calling and just wanted to let you know that we're getting divorced. I just can't deal with this anymore Zane, with you bringing hookers to MY house and having sex with them in MY bed. Get your stuff out of my house and if I see you after getting off of work I'm calling the police. Also, I'm not letting you say goodbye to your kids Zane, consider this goodbye," as soon as the message clicked I threw the answering machine against the wall, causing it to shatter it into a million pieces. I quickly ran upstairs to see the waitress that I had brought home from last night throwing up into the toilet.

"Hey, your gonna have to leave," I told her, but all I got back was a slight nod. I closed the bathroom door and threw some clothes on and packed up the rest of my clothes in my ex-wife's duffel bag. I ran downstairs and sat on the couch and turned on the news to see if anything as happening in Shitville, USA. I read the articles at the bottom and one caught my interest. The article stated that the hospital in town and in the city have been quickly packed. I lost attention when my phone rang, so I quickly fished out my phone. I saw that it was my brother and quickly pressed hangup. I grabbed my stuff and got up off the couch. I turned around to see that the waitress from yesterday was in the kitchen trying to get some water from the fridge. I left her for my batshit crazy wife to deal with and started to make my way to the closest motel. On the way, I got a text from my brother saying that I needed to get over to the shooting range. I slammed on my brakes, causing the guy behind me to slam into me, but I quickly did a U-turn and made my way to the shooting range.

I started shooting targets with a variety of different handguns, trying to figure out which would cause the most damage to my idiot brother when he got his lazy ass over here. I was about to get started on assault rifles, but I heard my girlfriends Chevy pickup roll up out front. I put down the M4 and ran out front to greet my stunning girlfriend. I saw that she had also brought her brother and his girlfriend along. I loved my girlfriend because of her talents which were absolutely astounding. She had won six years in a row the Kansas Rodeo tournaments.

"Hi, babe, are we waiting on your brother now," she asked with her very light southern accent, which sounded like liquid gold.

"Yeah, I just texted him, he should be here any minute now, you three go on in and I'll wait for my brother," I watched my girlfriend and other friends walk in. I sat for maybe a second before I heard the terrible roar of my brothers 1999 mustang, which he doesn't take care of, like everything else he owns. I waited for him to pull up to the parking spot, but his car died at the entrance of the shooting range. I watch as he exits his car and jogs over to me, with his grease-stained white wifebeater and torn jeans with his destroyed shoes. I wanted to laugh at the failure that my brother had become, but I managed to hold it in.

I hit my car's steering wheel as the piece of shit just gave out on me. I saw my brother dressed in his military BDU and his dog tags around his neck. I still don't know why he wants me to join the military even though I told him I don't want to be in the military. I got out of my car and ran over to him, and I could tell he was holding back a giggle. I noticed his girlfriend's truck and winced after the last time I met her. I made a bad joke about blonds and she had choked slammed me through a table.

"Hi, Maurice why do you want me to be here," I asked him as I followed him into the gun range.

"Pick a gun, we're here to have fun for a while," he told me with a smile on his face.

"Hi, Zane, how are you," Kim asked me. I didn't want to talk to her as I was scared that she would shoot. "You're not still nervous about when I choke slammed you through a table?"

"A little bit," I told her. "But I'm good Kim, how have you been?"

"Fine, but have you heard about this strange sickness that's sweeping through Kansas," she asked everyone.

"Yeah, I heard about that, it's hitting Kansas like wildfire," I just noticed Marlene and her boyfriend, Denis. I walked over to the gun rack and picked up an AR15 and walked back over to the shooting range. I put on the ear mufflers and took aim.