I'm Fluffy (Old)by Waifu CrossbreedChaptersIntroduction to FluffynessTrain Ride DiscoveryBaby Princess of The Plastic EmpireThe Fluff Ball Meets Clouds of DoomZorua PartyMorningDiscordly DiscorderIntroduction to FluffynessI looked at the pond that was next to me when I awoke. My reflection is looking right back at me. 'Oh, you've got to be kidding me.' I thought as I continued looking at my reflection. The creature that stared at me was a fox like creature, a zorua to be more specific. And a shiny zorua too. How.... coincidental. Well looking at my reflection will get me no where, so I looked around. This is nothing like New York city. There is nothing but shadowy, spooky, evil vegetation for miles around. At least, I assume it's for miles. I appear to be in the belly of the beast, not literally. Considering that there would be flesh, stomach acid, decomposing corpses, and intense claustrophobia. I decided to not dwell on that and tried to figure out how to walk in this body. Walking on 4 legs is unnatural for a human, or should I say.... former human. But I eventually got the hang of it. Unfortunately, I also figured out that my legs end in stubs. This is depressing. I have fur too. But the fur is not that thick, seems to just be for show. "Winter is going to be a terrible time if this fur is the best that I could be equipped with!" I said with minor annoyance "Okay, I checked off walking and where I am off the list. What's next?" I thought about this for a while. "Wait! I'm a pokemon, I should be able to do attacks right?" I said to no one in particular. But then I thought about it. How will I do attacks? I have literally nothing, but the knowledge that I may have that ability, to go off of. But I was going to try. After a couple of hours of effort, I managed to do 2 things. 1 was producing a small purple fire within the air. It looks like the dark matter camo from call of duty black ops 3. 'That is nothing a zorua can do, but it's still cool.' I can do pyrokinesis. The second skill I acquired was shape shifting, I transformed into a nearby stump, then reverted back after a few seconds. These skills will be useful if I am ever in any danger in the future. I tried to look at the sun. Oh right, thick canopy, but there was just enough sunlight passing through the leaves for sight. It was then that I saw some Blue Jays looking at me warily. Once they they knew that I noticed them, they flew off, a few feathers drifting towards the ground in front of me. 'Cowards.' I don't blame them, that's probably what I would do if I saw something strange that was about the same size as me. I should follow them. Besides, there is nothing around here but a stump, a measly pond that is more like a puddle than anything, and 2 bushes with berries that give me anxiety, probably poisonous. With my growing headache being ignored to the best of my ability, I warily walked into the vegetation beyond me, in pursuit of the tiny birds. "Fuck!" I yelled to the heavens. I stubbed my paw/stub on a tiny rock. 'This rock is going to die!' I then incinerated the unruly pebble. Time to start walking! (Later) After at least a couple of minutes of straight running to catch up, I saw where the birds retreated to. A cottage, of sorts. Pretty primitive home compared to a New York city apartment. But it seems cozy. I tried to catch my breath with the running I did. 'Those birds sure went far!' I continued to scan the area, and found where the birds are. They landed on the back of.... 'I fucking hate my life.' .... a yellow equine creature, with a pink mane and tail. Where is the bleach, I need to die! This horse creature appeared to be talking to the avians. Then the tiny winged monstrosities, looked towards me. 'I fucking hate you, birds!' The horse walked towards me. The world seemed to slow to painful speeds. The only way to avoid confrontation is to scram. As I prepared to book it, the apparent pegasus picked me up. 'Shit!' I want to go back to the creepy forest! "What are you, little fox?" That voice is definitely female. After a minute of thinking, she spoke again. "Maybe Twilight knows what you are if I don't" She said to, likely just herself. "She already needs me for something so I'll have to go anyway." This is likely time for an adventure that I do not want to be a part of. "I'm Fluttershy, and um, I'm going to take you to Twilight's if that's okay with you." I answered by staring at her. Well, I can't escape without burning her, but that's a little too far. I could shape shift too, but using that to escape is no guarantee. Might as well sit back and relax. I continued on thinking of ways to escape Fluttershy's grasp and find a source of food and water that will last me a while. 'Unfortunately, I haven't been to any places that hold any value other than the cottages.' Fluttershy was flying down a dirt road so a town must be nearby, or at least a small settlement. After a while of her flying we reached a town, and the first thing I noticed was the giant fucking crystal tree that contrasts too much with the town! "Holy fuck! Is that where we are going!?" I yelled out in complete shock, at that tree! "Such language!" Fluttershy replied, with a stern voice. Oh no, you don't get the last say in this. "You're not my mom!" Such a weak comeback, but this isn't the kind of thing I usually deal with. I ignored everything else that came out of her mouth. Once we entered the crystal/plastic tree, I was, once again, amazed to see that this tree was a castle of sorts. Or the owner just really loves to live the life of luxury. If this 'Twilight' wants to live an actual life of luxury, she should just move to that mountain city I saw on the way here. But she probably knows how much of a hazard that might be, Rock slides and avalanches. I then began to question her intelligence. I kept thinking to myself as Fluttershy began to traverse the halls of the tree, like she's been here enough times to memorize the confusing layout. 'That is definitely possible.' I was broken from my thoughts when I heard Fluttershy swing open a door. It was then that I made a few more discoveries. The first one is that I some how ended up on Fluttershy's back without noticing. The second was that this was a sort of meeting room. There is a table with shiny crystal thrones surrounding it. All the thrones, except 1, had symbols of sorts. The roots of a tree hung from the ceiling. The third and last discovery was that there are more ponies here. They were ranging in a variety of different colors. One was blue with a rainbow mane and tail, another one was just different colors of pink. A third one was white with purple mane and tail. There was one that looked like a farmer too, orange fur and blond mane and tail. Or is it off white? But does the specific color even matter to me? Won't help much to dwell on the subject of their colors. I sat down and then scratched my right ear with my right hind paw. Even though they're stubs, I will still call them paws. All the ponies currently in the room noticed me. God help me. Train Ride Discovery"Fluttershy what is that!" Demanded the colorful horses. "It's so cute!" screamed the pink one. Fluttershy decided to introduce me. "Oh, I don't know, but he appears to be a fox." Replied Fluttershy "Hi! What's going on!" This was a bad idea but I thought that I should deal with this sooner than later. "It can talk!?" They all screamed. "Yes. Again, what's going on? I don't want to repeat myself again!" Wow, I sound like a dick! The pink pony decided that she should explain. "We don't know! But Twilight, said something about a crystalling! My name is Pinkie Pie by the way!" "Duly noted. Who are the others?" "Oh, that's Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Apple Jack!" Replied the pink, energetic horse. Then something thought it was brave enough to enter the same room I was currently in, while I was getting my face space violated. Another pink pony, but a different shade of pink. And purple hair, with cyan accents. I'm starting to see a pattern. The muzzles. They are all the same with the females so it's safe to assume that this is also a female. I ignored the conversations these horses had and instead thought of my abilities and some other things. What else could I do? I know pyrokinesis, and shape shifting, but that's it. I'm just really butt hurt over the fact that I only know 2 things! Now that I think of it, is it pyrokinesis? The headache was not that much and I did feel a slight drain of.... something. It could be pyromancy I guess. This place seems pretty underdeveloped. Not much technology. But it makes up with pretty cool scenery. How did I even end up here? I remember laying on my bed and passing out almost immediately, but nothing else. This sounds arbitrary, in a way. I could have stayed awake and watched youtube, but, I had school the next day. Damn education system! I'm blaming this on you! Now that I think of it, I forgot to ask the name of the town we are currently in. Then I noticed that we are on the move. I was really deep in thought, huh. "....I'll have to study the fox like creature, when we get to the crystal empire." "I'm a zorua!" I hate the fact that i keep being called a fox. "Is that your species?" Asked the purple.... unicorn pegasus? "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle it's nice to meet you! This is Spike!" She pointed to the dragon that was on her back. Royalty, she is going to be a pain in the ass. "Don't mind me asking, but what are you?" I just have to know. This won't leave my mind, unless I find out. "I'm an alicorn. The fourth one actually." There are only 4 of them? "Who are the other 3?" "They are other princesses, and one is my sister in law!" This info is pretty useless considering what I want to do. I asked one final thing. "What is the name of the town that we are currently located in?" The answer I received should have been expected, but some times I'm an idiot."Ponyville." I just realized how tired I am, the running must have caught up with me. Not everyday I run for almost half an hour. "Well, I'm going to sleep, while I think about what I've learned!" I then retreated into Fluttershy's mane. 'Soft...' As I drifted into dreamland, I heard some one say something, but it was rather incoherent. When I awoke, I noticed that I was on a train and that my current companions are talking about some baby. Another thing I noticed was that I was wrapped in the warm embrace of a certain yellow pegasus. 'She must have moved me here.' A third thing I noticed is that I woke up next to a plush toy that looks like a bunny. I looked towards one of the many square windows the train car held. I saw Ponyville in the distance. So we left only a little while ago, and the horses have trains. "Oh! You're awake! Did you have a nice sleep?" Asked the butter colored pegasus, as she noticed my awakening. I jumped my way out of Fluttershy's grasp and landed on the floor. "Yeah! I'm going to explore!" The door was my exit and I took it. Outside of the train car, I jumped my way to the top. The wind is rushing past my face while I soak in the scenery. "This might be a good time to see what else I can do." I have the strange urge to swipe at the air. I did and was met with shock. I have appeared to cut through the air itself and opened a door to... somewhere. It's more of a hole than anything. I could only see blackness through it, too. The blue, spectral hole looked pretty stable. I looked through and was met with a void of sorts and, of course, more blackness. There was nothing there, just blackness. Maybe it's a work in progress realm created by some random deity? It's a far fetched idea, but it's certainly possible. I created a portal to some random dimension. "Creepy..." The tear in reality has kept up with the train some how, which is something that I just figured out. I tried to locate something that I could toss inside, to experiment. But I found nothing. Anything that could have been on top of this train is long gone! An idea hit me. I placed my paws on the edges of the tear and attempted to close it. It worked. The chances of that working are so low, but I'm still happy that it did. I'm going back in the train! Hopefully I'll feel better about this situation later, while I'm with the others. I jumped off the train roof and went back into the door that held my current allies who are blissfully unaware of what just happened. Baby Princess of The Plastic EmpireAfter getting off the train, getting separated from the one pony who is named Starlight Glimmer and and the purple dragon named Spike, learning how to clone myself, make gems glow, learning that the void beyond the blue vortex is my own pocket dimension in a sense, telling these peasants my name, and meeting the other princesses, I got to see the baby. I jumped onto the bed that held the infant abomination that just so happens to be an alicorn as well. Talk about mary sues. I looked at my paw. With the things I now know, I'm a mary sue in a way. "Of course, I could be wrong!" Yelled the lavender horse named Twilight. I rolled my eyes, I then tuned them out like I always do and thought about my new abilities. Making gems glow is pretty cool but it's not useful. Cloning is good for when I need to be at multiple places at the same time. Having my own pocket dimension is pretty cool too. I even made a floating island in that void that I will soon call The Molten Mountains. Its going to be lava, stone, ash, usual hell stuff, but I just made it a red island as a placeholder for something greater. 'In that dimension, I can literally do anything I want apparently. In that realm, I am a god. I am-' Unfortunately, I was rudely interrupted by the demon foal sneezing and releasing a fuck ton of magic. I instinctively moved slightly closer to Twilight. I almost shit myself. But that energy felt...... good. Okay so maybe I'm stealing that energy the demon baby is releasing. "Lloyd, can you help Pinkie and I keep watch on the baby?" Asked the purple alicorn. "Wow, you must be really desperate for help if you ask me of all people!" That is true; the baby is really powerful and you actually need people who are competent enough to not fuck up with such an important task of watching royalty. I myself, have never cared about titles, if you can prove that your sad existence has actually accomplished something, you're okay with me. I can already see her friends leave to complete the tasks they've been assigned. Maybe I can twist this event to work in my favor. I could try. "But if you need me, I'll gladly help!" "Thanks! I really appreciate it!" "But you owe me a gem! I know about a dragon's diet now so you must have some for Spike!" I have a pretty cool idea involving a cave and glowing gems. "Deal!" Twilight obliged with my request, throwing me one of the colorful rocks. As soon as I caught it with my mouth I tossed it into the hole in reality I created. I then closed off the tear and jumped onto Twilight's back. After that conversation, the first magic laser was shot. "Fuck" That almost killed me, it was so close to my front left paw. I jumped onto Pinkie then I leaped onto the baby, I grabbed onto her back and planned on staying there. "This is the safest place. She won't shoot herself with magic." I said as I was being mindful of the baby's flapping wings. I whimpered. This might be a difficult task. Then the pinkish demon foal shot out some more lasers and started flying in some random direction. Fortunately, Twilight prepared magical shields. The baby abomination latched onto Pinkie and started dragging her around like a doll or something. I tried to steer the baby like she was a car. It worked I guess. Lean right, she moves a little bit right. Lean left, she moves a little bit left. I started to try and make her move in a circle around the room, but it's harder than it looks. "Stop moving!" I scream at the baby. Surprisingly, she does stop. She tries to look at me. Like she was expecting me to scream another command. "Well, that solves that problem, I guess." I sighed. These past few minutes were stressful. Unfortunately, the baby took that as her cue to keep flying. Fuuuuuuuuuck! She then started shooting lasers again. I observed the situation. I was trying to drive a living car, Pinkie is being held hostage by the living car, and Twilight was trying to quickly summon magic absorbing shields to stop the lasers. The demon baby has a lot of lasers to shoot! "Pinkie! Hold her still!" Twilight shouted after a while of blocking magical lasers. "I'm tryiiiinggggg!" Pinkie responded. "I could yell again!" It worked before. "Stop!" The baby was unfazed. Twilight eventually managed to trap all 3 of us in a bubble. The baby alicorn quickly adjusted to the lack of space and just started flying upside down, left to right, all sorts of maneuvers. That started to make me dizzy and nauseous, and I pretty much hated life at that point. Pinkie on the other paw, was unfazed by this. "My friends and brother should be done with preparing for the crystalling by now!" Said Twilight I responded by gagging a little. Twilight then began to trek through the crystal castle and we eventually found the other ponies. The area seems to be an empty space, it's only purpose seems to be holding the 2 spires that connect to some sort of blue heart. "We're here!" Yelled the purple alicorn princess. Pinkie also yelled. "She's a really strong flyer!" After she said that, Twilight's sister in law, Cadance pulled her demon child into a separate bubble. Separating us and the baby in the process. Pinkie was slowly brought to the ground by Twilight. When that happened the baby alicorn started reaching towards us, wanting to play some more I guess. Twilight, knowing I was sick from the obvious signs, slowly brought me to Pinkie's back. Once her magic left my body, the baby started to whimper and tear up. And with that, I threw up whatever I ate before coming here. After a while she pouted. The baby alicorn then unleashed a mighty wail upon us. We might have stood a chance if it had been the sea mammal whale. My ears are more sensitive than the ponies' so I was affected more. I covered my ears, trying to block out the ungodly sound. After the baby princes stopped her whale, the crystal looking heart started to crack up and shatter. Everyone, except me, gasped. The apple farmer named Apple Jack started to speak. "I'm guessing that's going to make it hard to do the crystalling." She said. "Was that heart important?" I asked being completely lost. Twilight decided to answer.. "Yes." She answered grimly, she started to trot to nearby curtains looking outside. "Apple Jack, its worse than that. Without the heart, the Crystal Empire is about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!" She said looking at the storm clouds already forming around the empire. I looked towards the cooing baby "I'm going to maim you one day!" Cadance noticed my whispering. "Did you say something?" She asked. Blissfully unaware of what I wanted to do to her child. "Oh nothing! I'm just saying how glad I am that your child has destructive powers!" I said absent mindedly. Everyone in the area gave me a weird look. "That's not what I meant!" I quickly said after I realized what I said. "Then what did you-" she tried to ask but I cut her off. "Shouldn't we focus on the spooky dark clouds surrounding the empire!?" That got everyone thinking about what to do and how to save this place now. I sighed, I just dodged a bullet there! I then looked towards the broken remnants of the heart and then towards the developing grey storm clouds "Houston, we have a problem!" Author's Note No notifications...... forever alone! The Fluff Ball Meets Clouds of Doom"This far north, the weather has a will of its own!" Said the blue alicorn named Luna. "Wait that's not a normal occurrence?" I was confused. They force the weather to do their bidding most of the time. Talk about restraint. Weather can't do anything on its own. "No, it isn't! The pegasi control the weather! When we get back to Ponyville, I'm studying your anatomy among other things and teaching you equestrian culture, tradition, history, etc." Declared the purple alicorn. I nodded in respond. With nothing else to say at the moment, I stayed quiet. Do I have to battle evil clouds?" It was a legitimate question that no one answered. Instead, they went back to talking about how fucked the Crystal Empire is. I tried to do something. I shot a ball of dark fire out of my mouth and aimed it at a cloud. The ball of shadowy flames pierced through a cloud. Unfortunately, these clouds have quick regeneration. I call hacks. "Hugh!" I sighed. Life just sucks sometimes. If only I had wings..... shape shifting...... I looked towards the princesses of the sun and moon. Luna is blue so I'll take her form, when I need it that is! "Where is the library?" I asked, still frowning. "Follow me!" Answered Twilight. "I have a better idea! You walk, I sleep." I jumped onto Twilight's back. Come on mule! Twilight did not answer, so I assume that it's a done deal. I curled up and began to settle for the time. She is not moving, I quess I have to go on my own. "You know what, just give me directions and landmarks, I should find my way around!" Twilight did as told like a good little slave. "Adios, dickweeds!" After that, I took off running like my life depended on that. According to their butt hurt faces, that's probably true! After a dozen twists and turns, and turns and twists, I found what I was looking for. This library is humongous! There are rows upon rows of bookshelves, home to likely over a thousand books. The stench of dust from unused books and paper was strong with this one. Finding a certain book in this place is going to be difficult. I'm assuming we're going to need one on the Crystal Empire's history and magic so I looked around to search for the section that held the knowledge I will need and soon possess. "Here in my garage with my brand new Lamborghini..." I mumbled. How did that even get popular? I don't know. Some people are pretty stupid. Me included, but I'm the smart kind of stupid. The kind that is intelligent but still makes stupid decisions. Some people are genuinely stupid. After searching the giant library a little bit, I found a strange but interesting book. "Behavior of Endermen...... By Soren!?" This is not Minecraft Story Mode, Soren's books and shit should not be around here. But then I thought about it. What's going on? Am I being controlled and getting programmed by something out of this world? What is my purpose? Am I some character in a video game? Will I ever be in a dank meme? Will I ever be noticed by my sempai, Harambe? Will my life actually be good for something? I began to ponder at the possible deeper meaning the book held some more. "I can't think about deep questions like this! I still haven't created a dank meme involving a certain umbreon with blue eyes." That will be a long and perilous journey that all dirty memesters must take! "But first, I will need Equestria's wifi password!" At least I think it's called Equestria, according to Twilight, the magical purple alicorn. It appears the other members of my group arrived. To be honest, they seem like dead weight if they're this slow. "Took you long enough!" I called out. "We ran into an issue that needed to be dealt with!" Stated Twilight Sparkle. Excuses, excuses! I have had enough of those! "Just help, okay!" I called back! I'm too tiny! I can't reach the top shelves, but I won't point that out, because of my inherent insecurities. "Well now seems to be the time, I might need to shape shift." I mumble as I walked to my destination, which was a promising book shelf. I stopped at a shelf that might hold value, and then transformed. As a purple aura encased me, my paws converted into hooves, I sprouted a horn and wings, grew taller, etc. That was kind of painful, just like the first time. Pretty soon I looked like Luna. I gave my new wings a few test flaps. Getting a feel for the new, blue, and feathery appendages. I spread my wings and flew to the top layer of books. I picked one out that whispered empty promises and saw that it was completely useless. I then placed the book back into the proper spot and searched some more. A laser zipped past my face, leaving a slight cut. 'I could have been seriously wounded right there...' I had a feeling I know who the perpetrator was. Unfortunately I was so scared that I turned back into my normal fluffy self, and fell! 2 good things came out of that, though. I learned that under certain conditions, I can change back to my usual form. The other discovery is that, if I am wounded when I am in another form, I will keep that injury when I change back. That was too fast! I only had about a minute in that form! I stared at the baby that dared to attack and almost kill me. My eyes grew dark as I prayed to my lord and savior Harambe that this abomination gets consumed by the the eternal void that is my dimension and stay lost in there for the rest of its ugly, stupid, baby man child life! Or I could always sacrifice it to Harambe! Take your dicks out for Harambe! I let the dark thoughts escape my brain and payed attention to my surroundings. My ears flicked towards some noise. The intelligent, stupid, purple alicorn known as Twilight Sparkle has found a book that holds promises that are not as empty as the book I found. Unfortunately, the baby thought that it should remove the only thing that seemed useful! I let the grim thoughts return as I slowly stalked towards the infant."I am going to send you to the glowing ball of orange, life threatening gas and end your pathetic existence, you cretin!" Ok, so maybe I'm a little mad. I started to make a ball of energy in my mouth and shot it at the bookshelf behind the abomination, narrowly missing it. Thankfully the library is big, I have good eyesight, and the baby and I are on the other side of the library, so Twilight and the others didn't know that I tried to murder a member of an endangered species. It was then that I realized how hungry I am. "Maybe I can have my own adventure." I left as swiftly as I can as I heard Twilight and the others enter the scene of the would be crime. 'Gotta go fest!' (Memewhile) This castle is huge! Where am I even going! This castle is seriously a maze. All of these tall crystal hallways even look the same! I am just trying to look for a pantry! Doing this on my own is going to take a while. I then got to a brilliant idea! I split myself into 2. "You know what you're doing right?" I asked my clone. "Of course I do, I am you after all. Help find the pantry by searching different corridors." The other fluffy pokemon replied. "Good." We then jumped off to different directions of the intersection we stopped at. I think I'll make clones more often, but they are me, so they are complete cunts. I eventually made it outside, which is something I didn't want happening. I spotted the rulers of the land being covered in snow, while facing a losing battle against the clouds. I should help, mainly because I have nothing else to do, and because I wanted to test out my abilities. I constructed fire within my mouth and shot it out as a flame thrower. It passed through the cloud layer, effectively earning the princesses' attention. I waved. They waved back, acknowledging my assistance. I transformed into Luna again and flew up. " So you're fighting clouds?" They are a bit surprised, and Luna was a bit annoyed that I decided to take her form. "That is the idea!" Oh, good. They have no idea what they're doing. They don't understand that their efforts are futile, the clouds will regenerate. Maybe they are just having fun. "Hey watch this!" I yelled out. I then turned into a living inferno, in the shape of a pony. I passed through the clouds and the fire exploded, destroying some of the storm clouds around me. "Cool, right?" I think it's cool, but still, I had to ask. The rulers of Equestria nodded. "To be honest, I don't know why I'm helping you!" I started. It's true, in my opinion I will have better luck doing something good in that dark forest of spooky evil. "I don't really care about any of you and if you were all burning and I had a glass of water I could use to put out the fire, I would drink the water!" Their reaction, is a bit humorous. Think of an offended land whale that is also suicidal, and if that land whale was being poisoned by deadly neurotoxin. Not a good description but that is the face they're making. "Hey asshole!" my clone desires my attention. "What's up you piece of shit?" I murmured, responding to my clone. "I found some food!" "Well that's a surprise! You are good for something!" Yes, I am a dick to even myself. This is why I have brain damage! That brief conversation started the longest hour of my life. (A couple of hours later) After murdering the clouds and whatever hopes and dreams they had, Restoring the crystal heart, having the crystalling in the heart of the Crystal Empire Play Set, reuniting with my clone, eating food, and meeting the parents of Twilight and her brother, We eventually got back to the little town Ponyville. "So, I helped! Where am I staying? The forest?" I asked, legitimately thinking that I had to make a home there. "Nope!" The fat, purple alicorn known as Twilight Sparkle stated. "You're staying with me! I still have to run tests on you, see what you are, and tell you about pony culture! You could be my second student!" She said, her eyes shining like stars in the inky black sky. That is not a face that I like, it's like she loves school and learning. What mortal loves school and learning!? "This won't end well!" I mumbled to myself. Might as well deal with it and live in the sparkle hut. I get a place to stay, so it might not be all bad. "Lead the way, Twi!" I barked. Twilight, Spike, Starlight, and I broke off from the rest of the group. We are on our way to the giant tree castle, and that's when the thought crossed my mind. 'I have to share a living space with a princess, a dragon, and a former cult leader. This place will not stay quiet for long.' Author's Note Since I'm lazy, this is the best I can do. Don't hate the player because I already hate myself... Zorua Party"...and that should sum it all up." Oh thank Harambe it's finally over. "Tomorrow, I'll start teaching you about equestrian culture." Twilight continued. "Twilight I am never letting you study me again, that was a vicious examination. And did you have to pull out some of my fur?" That procedure was horrifying. "Yes, this is vital to my research on your species." Twilight responded. She then walked up the stairs that led into the rest of the castle. Speaking of Harambe, I wish I got famous for being murdered. To be honest I wouldn't have shot Harambe to save one measly human child. Knowing us, the kid would have probably grown up being an idiot so why bother? It's 1 of millions maybe even billions of humans compared to 1 of about a couple of thousands maybe even hundreds of silver back gorillas. I would save the one with a smaller population; It seems like the logical thing to do. But that's just my opinion. I'm glad I am no longer with the rest of my kind, I would likely have to argue for hours, and that is a huge waste of time. But leaving my kind doesn't matter much to me, it's only a few people I actually care about.... family. I don't have any friends. I'm too 'weird' as they call it. Stupid excuse for not being friends. But then again, at this age, I am obviously smarter than them. All being friends would do for me is to get cheaters interested in my assignments, so I stayed an outsider. It's better that way, and I'm known, among bullies, as the kid that broke the arm of one of their cult members. My brooding was interrupted by a certain dragon. "Dude, you okay?" Asked the dragon. "Yeah, just thinking." I replied. "About what?" Asked the dragon with interest, clearly wanting to know more about me. "Nothing." Why is he here? I should ask. "Why are you here?" "Oh yeah! Breakfast is ready! Come one!" Oh food! That certainly makes me happy. They say that the best way into a man's heart is through his stomach. I don't know who 'they' are, but they spoke words of truth. At least that's how it is for me. Purple Shep Mode Activated "My favorite color is toaster. Where is daddy Pink Sheep?" I just started spouting nonsense as my eyes started going into different directions. I spun my head and I am back to normal. "Why does that keep happening." It doesn't happen that much, but every once in a while it happens. It's a pretty useless ability to have. I eventually met up with the crystal tree crew containing Twilight, Spike, And Starlight. I think I saw an owl some where, but I'm not sure. I jumped onto the table and decided to lie down on a pillow on the table that was just for me. "Oooh, this looks good. Even though half this stuff is hay." I looked towards Twilight and gave her a look. A look that said 'Do you know what I am?' It's a complex kind of look that only the dankest creatures will understand. "I can't eat hay." I saw Spike look a little embarrassed and guilty. I also gave him that deep frown. I stared deep within his very soul to find the reason for this despicable choice of food. Let's think about it. I am not meant to be able to consume hay. My digestive system will, likely, not do anything to take nutrients out of the hay. My body is not compatible with that choice of food. "Well, we have to go to Sugarcube Corner..... right Twilight?" Asked the young drake. He obviously reacts negatively when exposed to that gaze. I'll call it 'The Pimp Stare'. "Yes.... come one Lloyd, we need to go." It seems that Twilight is also reacting. I'll keep note of this. 'That really gets them good.' After finishing eating what I could digest, we then started to walk the long trail to the abomination called 'Sugarcube Corner'. As we entered the streets I realized that I have no idea where we are going. I will need to explore Ponyville to understand the layout and know where to go when I'm on my own. I'm starting to doze off again. I shook my head. Twilight does not mess around when it comes to 'Studying a new species' as she said it. It took the whole night. She is not even fazed. Maybe the one hour of sleep at the end helped her. Is she used to taking only an hour of sleep. I started to see a certain strange looking building in the distance. No, not the cloud house. I already know that pegasi can stand on clouds and manipulate them. I'm talking about the gingerbread house. This must be Sugarcube Corner. We started walking closer and I can see more details up close. 'Yep. This is definitely the place.' It actually appeared to be made out of candy. But, it's expected considering the pink earth pony that infects the town with the virus known as randomness. This town does not surprise me anymore. So we have a crystal tree castle, a cloud house, an evil forest next to the town, the burnt remains of an actual tree, and a candy house. Was Willy Wonka here at some point? I heard some whispering. It wasn't obvious, I had to keep quiet a little bit to catch on. This is probably going to be some sort of surprise. Who ever is inside of there is fired. "Why are we here?" I needed to ask that to bring some noise to the silence that plagued the air. "I forgot about something here. and I thought you 2 might have wanted a snack." Twilight's reply seemed rather sound, but there was one issue.... she's lying. "Alright." I opened the door and was met with darkness. Our group of 3 stepped into the building and then something expected happened. "Surprise!" Screamed out at least a dozen of voices. That explains the lack of other ponies in town. Then Pinkie appeared. "Are you surprised!? This whole party took a while to plan because of Cadence and Shining Armor's baby, the crystalling, and all of the other fun/Equestria ending stuff!" "To be completely honest, a few whisperers made sure that this wasn't a surprise." I said, looking to a corner that held 3 certain fillies. Two thirds of them are sisters of ponies in my friend group. "Ahh!" Pinkie groaned. " i wanted your 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' to be a surprise! Oh well at least we still have a party!" Her optimism is very appealing. After that brief conversation, I went to some random table in a corner, took a cookie, and nibbled on it in silence. I was never one for parties and get togethers, but to make Pinkie happy I'll try to enjoy it. And that starts with this gift from the heavens. Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie interrupted the consumption process. "Stop sitting in this table by yourself! Let's play pin the tail on the pony Lloydy Toidy!" I have nothing else to do so sure."Fine, but don't ever say that nickname again!" "Here are the procedures. You must be blindfolded then spun 3 times and you need to find your way to the pony poster and pin the tail on it." Twilight explained as she walked to my corner of the party room. As we walked to the area where the game is played, more ponies watched and joined us. I was blindfolded and spun like I expected and just like that, I was completely disoriented and blind. I took a step while wondering how I'm holding the tail and how I'll do this. "We lowered the pony poster so you'll be able to get the tail on it." 'Gee, thanks.' I feel, slightly offended because this is because I'm so tiny. But I shouldn't be, this helps me in the end and what's the point of being offended by something? Being offended, butt hurt and triggered doesn't help any one. The only thing it would do is force people to avoid you. While I was slowly walking, in a sad attempt to win the game, I fell. Not being able to see is a real disadvantage. Every on started laughing. "Well, ain't that something sugar cube! You are terrible! Said Apple Jack between laughs. "I'd like to see you do better, you inbred mule!" Fortunately, the townsfolk didn't hear because of the laughter, but Apple Jack did. Apple Jack ended up being very offended and went next. Determined to show me how good she is. Apple Jack crashed into a table. Now it was her turned to be laughed at for failure and my turn to be smug. Now that I think of it, these are pretty shitty people. They laugh at you for the tiniest mistake. I need to be careful if I don't want to end up being a joke to them, something that can't ever be taken seriously. I went back to the table to enjoy the delicacies known as cookies. And that's how the party is going to continue for me, I'll make sure the cookie eating process is not interrupted. Author's Note I think this is a better way to write thoughts Hi MorningAfter the party, everyone eventually went home, including me. Twilight let me use one of the guest rooms scattered around the castle. That is going to be my room from now on. When I first entered it, there was nothing other than the usual 'guest room' stuff. A bed, and a bedside table with a few drawers to store stuff. It was a perfect start. This guest room was far away from everything else I know everyone uses. It makes going to the bathroom and everywhere else a little difficult because I'll have to walk for a couple of minutes, but that is just one downside. Fortunately, I have a bathroom connected to my room. Coincidence, right? There is a MAJOR upside. Because I'm so far away, I get a lot of me time. I like being alone, the quiet helps. It calms and soothes me, in a way. The tick tocking of the clock on the wall is the only constant noise. It doesn't bother me, I've come to get used to it. This seems to be a good time to think. How do I have my abilities. There is nothing science related I can find from this. Twilight only studied my anatomy last night, so she doesn't know either. Well, the shape shifting is certainly physical. But other than that, everything else seems like magic. I'm still not sure if the fire is pyromancy or pyrokinesis. There is absolutely no possible reason I can think of, that explains how I can do any of this. The only one I can think of is 'Magic happened. That's it.' but it seems cheap. This magic thing, it seems like it's an easy answer, if you can't find anything just say magic happened. If something is unexplainable, everyone will just go 'It's magic. It doesn't need an explanation.' Which sucks. I desire an explanation. Oh well. I need to sleep now. I can already feel my eyes shut and I'm already dozing off a little. Sleep is good. Sleep is...... good. Without sleep you fall into a coma after a few days. Sleep prevents that. 'Doctor Who is my favorite show...' (Sleep Skip) 'Birds..... my mortal enemy...' The thing about morning birds is that they just find the perfect place next to the window to perch on and just tweet like there is no fucking tomorrow. And for some of them, there is no tomorrow..... because I would have burned them. I didn't want to wake up. This bed is already calling me back to dream land. I am NOT a morning person. I didn't get many birds to wake me up in my previous urban environment, but I still hate them. I hate everything that messes with me, even once. But unlike feminists, I keep that dislike to myself. Those people could learn a thing or two from me. I'm talking about modern feminists. I encountered one, once. She accused me of sneezing at her. Which was stupid because she should know how the human nose works. I called her a tumor on humanity and walked away. She pursued me for a while but eventually gave up. That was a close call if you think about it. I walked to the door that led to the bathroom. I jumped onto a nearby stool and opened said door. I walked into the room, jumped onto the sink, and grabbed the essentials. Toothbrush and tooth paste. Brushing my teeth will be weird for a while because of my new, slightly different teeth, but only slightly. At least I didn't end up with a third jaw. That would be weird. Like, really weird. Weirdception. Is that a word I don't think it is. Well it is now. "Time to start another uneventful morning. This is only my second day and I already hate this place." I wish to burn this tree to the ground but I can't because of plot barriers. I assume it's those. I hope it's those. If not, then I'll prepare for my most unfortunate death. I rinsed my mouth and left the bathroom. I looked around the bedroom. I have an idea to see if this is real or not. Smack! I lay on the ground covering my cheek while experiencing some severe agony. 'Note to self, don't smack myself in the face again to see if this is real.' After a minute or two of intense pain, I slapped myself really hard, I opened the door that led into my bedroom and I started to search the corridors for my current teacher. (Corridor Skip) The only sound that accompanied me is the sound of my paws hitting the floor. It's just like the Crystal Empire! Copy and paste corridors. I'm serious, I've seen this exact same corridor three times. It's either I'm very, very lost or I'm entering the same hallways with the same design, color palette, everything! It's so strange. How am I going to find Twilight while in this situation. What would Snowball do? She would probably just scram into her cage and sleep the night away like the lazy fur ball she is. Too bad she's dead now. Goodbye happy rabbit memories. I heard a sound in a nearby room. Like something falling. There are also slightly muffled voices, and one of them sounds exactly like a purple alicorn i was trying to find. 'I swear to god, if I see Twilight mast- My thoughts were interrupted when I opened the door. "Oh..... my..... Harambe...." My previous theory had to be thrown out the window as I saw the contents of this chamber. The monsters inside this room are worse than the thought of Twilight beating it! My second worst enemy! The creatures I swore, on my pet bunny's grave, to destroy! The demons that lurk in the dark! It's sentient creatures reading and enjoying literature! Books! Discordly DiscorderSpike, the purple dragon was currently trying to climb his way out of a fucking gigantic pile of books. And I do mean gigantic. It reminds me of the titanic. Last I checked, there was a crew that recently discovered the remnants of that ship. Ok, maybe a few years ago but still recent in the grand scheme of things since the universe is billions and billions of years old While the dragon was struggling to reach oxygen and freedom I looked over to Twilight. She was also buried in her own pile of books. But she didn't seem to care. Casually reading a book while you are half way buried by a couple dozen books says a lot. "What happened?" I had to ask. The situation was just too weird. Like that one time some one on xbox thought I was a girl and asked me to be his girlfriend. He is by far, the biggest idiot I have ever met in my life. "Magic accident" answered a familiar voice in a different corner of the room, separate from the rest of the current residents in this chamber. "What kind of magic accident, Starlight?" I asked. This is really interesting. But the answer I would receive would probably be something stupid like Starlight failing at magic control. "You know what, don't answer that." "Alright." There was silence. This is akward. Spike spoke after escaping the chains from the book fort. "Well, I have to go mine gems with Rarity." He then sped out of the room, leaving me to suffer and choke on the cloud of dust he left behind. "That reminds me! The princesses are coming! I need to prepare! How could I forget?!" Cried Twilight, clearly panicking about what would be a normal situation if you were friends with normal people and not the leaders of a nation. Can't blame her, but if I were in her situation I would probably be rather indifferent. But that seems off. It's just a little out of character for book horse to forget something important like that. Like being late for a job interview because your girlfriend just keeps bitching and nagging about how you're a deadbeat or something else that sounds insulting but really isn't. You are just so focused on the headache you gained that you lost your chance to make a good first impression. But while in reality I was prepared this time for another charge so I summoned a cloud beneath me, and I used them to carry me to the ceiling. Once I was sure she was gone, I separated all the dust and water vapor and whatever else was in those clouds. I looked to Starlight, the only other creature in the large study we're in. "Want to explore the town?" I got nothing better to do, and I don't have any time killers with me. God, I miss overwatch. "Uh, sure." That's her response. Come on fellas! Give this grade A actor an oscar! And with that..... we're off on our adventure! But wait! Plot twist! Starlight also just coincidentally remembered that she needed to be some where probably not as important as she makes it out to be! So I'm off on my adventure! 'Horray! Loneliness is so depressing!' (Unnecessary Time Skip) As soon as I got out the door, I was met with a problem... well 2 problems.... maybe 3. The first, the townsfolk immediately noticed me.... and they began to swarm. How adorable am I for them to have such a violent reaction!? It makes no sense! And these citizens are the "weird" ones. You know when your Charlie Gordon like friend in flowers for algernon did something most would find completely insane? I am terrible at descriptions. As I started running I had to dodge and swerve around multiple obstacles that the denizens of Ponyville were either too stupid, too distracted, or too big to avoid for a grand total of 5 minutes. I built up a pattern I'm sure they noticed and broke the pattern after the 8th left. After running around a street corner, I spotted an alleyway. Like a normal creature being chased, I leaped into the crevice between houses and hid behind a dumpster. That was oddly convenient. Like the universe is actually assisting me. While hiding I heard the sounds of galloping and dumbasses wanting to pet me start to decrease in volume. They were more civil at the party. Maybe those ponies weren't at the party and the civil ones took to much space so they weren't allowed? I honestly have no idea. Maybe Pinkie could answer, she seems used to this. My second problem. Twilight forgot to give me a tour around the towns, directions to key places her friends would be located, or at least a map. Another thing out of character for her. The possibly third issue, I vandalized a shoe. Wait what? No, the third issue is that I can't go back to contact Spike or Starlight because I have no idea where they are and I can't go to Twilight because she's occupied with the princesses and is preparing for their arrival. Not because it would be impolite, she would be too busy to help. From her prospective, preparing for the princesses is more important that helping me. I just layed there for a while. Thinking on a plan. And then videogame scripting got triggered and then spawned a fluttershy a few feet away. Well, not spawned. More like appeared and happened to walk by. Holy shit, what the hell is that abomination next to her! That monstrosity looks like it should be the unofficial love child from an orgy featuring Bloody Mary, Cthulu, Adolf Hitler, literally every member of Isis, mixed with a little bit of T-rex and crazy jizz. So weird stuff. "So how was your day, Lloyd?" Said monstrosity asked, teleporting next to me. "Enjoying what I did to spice up your life?" "It was you! I will rip your heart out of your beating chest and blast you with shells from my washing machine shotgun!" "Aw I thought I was doing you, and... uh the moderator Sir Snowball, a service." For some reason it sounds like he only brought me here because he lost a game at poker. "You weren't the first joe I brought here, though so don't think you're special. I just peer into the other dimensions and bring souvenirs from them to this world and see how the residents react. It's usually a mix between boring and amusing, but you are a special case. I never heard of anyone doing anything silly like vandalizing a shoe." Exposition? "My name is Discord." He continued. "Master of chaos and chocolate rain!" With a snap of his fingers a pinkish cloud suddenly popped into existence and started pouring down liquid chocolate upon me. Delicious liquid chocolate. Safe to say, I kept my mouth wide open to drink up all the chocolate. "Your welcome. Now if you excuse me, I need to have tea time with Fluttershy. Just needed to answer a question you probably didn't have. Like I said, you are a special case. Large quantity of 'do not care.' Toodles!" And with that he disappeared. Along with the chocolate cloud. I'm... just going to sit down, and cry for a minute and figure out where to go to do something at east some what relevant, like find Spike, or the other 5 members of the squad that are not crossed off the list like Twilight and now Flutttershy. This Discord character could possibly be a threat under certain conditions. Author's Note It's been a long time, I know. But I haven't been motivated to do anything else other than play call of duty black ops 2 with my friends. Also playing subnautica for the past 2 weeks. Very fun.
Introduction to FluffynessI looked at the pond that was next to me when I awoke. My reflection is looking right back at me. 'Oh, you've got to be kidding me.' I thought as I continued looking at my reflection. The creature that stared at me was a fox like creature, a zorua to be more specific. And a shiny zorua too. How.... coincidental. Well looking at my reflection will get me no where, so I looked around. This is nothing like New York city. There is nothing but shadowy, spooky, evil vegetation for miles around. At least, I assume it's for miles. I appear to be in the belly of the beast, not literally. Considering that there would be flesh, stomach acid, decomposing corpses, and intense claustrophobia. I decided to not dwell on that and tried to figure out how to walk in this body. Walking on 4 legs is unnatural for a human, or should I say.... former human. But I eventually got the hang of it. Unfortunately, I also figured out that my legs end in stubs. This is depressing. I have fur too. But the fur is not that thick, seems to just be for show. "Winter is going to be a terrible time if this fur is the best that I could be equipped with!" I said with minor annoyance "Okay, I checked off walking and where I am off the list. What's next?" I thought about this for a while. "Wait! I'm a pokemon, I should be able to do attacks right?" I said to no one in particular. But then I thought about it. How will I do attacks? I have literally nothing, but the knowledge that I may have that ability, to go off of. But I was going to try. After a couple of hours of effort, I managed to do 2 things. 1 was producing a small purple fire within the air. It looks like the dark matter camo from call of duty black ops 3. 'That is nothing a zorua can do, but it's still cool.' I can do pyrokinesis. The second skill I acquired was shape shifting, I transformed into a nearby stump, then reverted back after a few seconds. These skills will be useful if I am ever in any danger in the future. I tried to look at the sun. Oh right, thick canopy, but there was just enough sunlight passing through the leaves for sight. It was then that I saw some Blue Jays looking at me warily. Once they they knew that I noticed them, they flew off, a few feathers drifting towards the ground in front of me. 'Cowards.' I don't blame them, that's probably what I would do if I saw something strange that was about the same size as me. I should follow them. Besides, there is nothing around here but a stump, a measly pond that is more like a puddle than anything, and 2 bushes with berries that give me anxiety, probably poisonous. With my growing headache being ignored to the best of my ability, I warily walked into the vegetation beyond me, in pursuit of the tiny birds. "Fuck!" I yelled to the heavens. I stubbed my paw/stub on a tiny rock. 'This rock is going to die!' I then incinerated the unruly pebble. Time to start walking! (Later) After at least a couple of minutes of straight running to catch up, I saw where the birds retreated to. A cottage, of sorts. Pretty primitive home compared to a New York city apartment. But it seems cozy. I tried to catch my breath with the running I did. 'Those birds sure went far!' I continued to scan the area, and found where the birds are. They landed on the back of.... 'I fucking hate my life.' .... a yellow equine creature, with a pink mane and tail. Where is the bleach, I need to die! This horse creature appeared to be talking to the avians. Then the tiny winged monstrosities, looked towards me. 'I fucking hate you, birds!' The horse walked towards me. The world seemed to slow to painful speeds. The only way to avoid confrontation is to scram. As I prepared to book it, the apparent pegasus picked me up. 'Shit!' I want to go back to the creepy forest! "What are you, little fox?" That voice is definitely female. After a minute of thinking, she spoke again. "Maybe Twilight knows what you are if I don't" She said to, likely just herself. "She already needs me for something so I'll have to go anyway." This is likely time for an adventure that I do not want to be a part of. "I'm Fluttershy, and um, I'm going to take you to Twilight's if that's okay with you." I answered by staring at her. Well, I can't escape without burning her, but that's a little too far. I could shape shift too, but using that to escape is no guarantee. Might as well sit back and relax. I continued on thinking of ways to escape Fluttershy's grasp and find a source of food and water that will last me a while. 'Unfortunately, I haven't been to any places that hold any value other than the cottages.' Fluttershy was flying down a dirt road so a town must be nearby, or at least a small settlement. After a while of her flying we reached a town, and the first thing I noticed was the giant fucking crystal tree that contrasts too much with the town! "Holy fuck! Is that where we are going!?" I yelled out in complete shock, at that tree! "Such language!" Fluttershy replied, with a stern voice. Oh no, you don't get the last say in this. "You're not my mom!" Such a weak comeback, but this isn't the kind of thing I usually deal with. I ignored everything else that came out of her mouth. Once we entered the crystal/plastic tree, I was, once again, amazed to see that this tree was a castle of sorts. Or the owner just really loves to live the life of luxury. If this 'Twilight' wants to live an actual life of luxury, she should just move to that mountain city I saw on the way here. But she probably knows how much of a hazard that might be, Rock slides and avalanches. I then began to question her intelligence. I kept thinking to myself as Fluttershy began to traverse the halls of the tree, like she's been here enough times to memorize the confusing layout. 'That is definitely possible.' I was broken from my thoughts when I heard Fluttershy swing open a door. It was then that I made a few more discoveries. The first one is that I some how ended up on Fluttershy's back without noticing. The second was that this was a sort of meeting room. There is a table with shiny crystal thrones surrounding it. All the thrones, except 1, had symbols of sorts. The roots of a tree hung from the ceiling. The third and last discovery was that there are more ponies here. They were ranging in a variety of different colors. One was blue with a rainbow mane and tail, another one was just different colors of pink. A third one was white with purple mane and tail. There was one that looked like a farmer too, orange fur and blond mane and tail. Or is it off white? But does the specific color even matter to me? Won't help much to dwell on the subject of their colors. I sat down and then scratched my right ear with my right hind paw. Even though they're stubs, I will still call them paws. All the ponies currently in the room noticed me. God help me.
Train Ride Discovery"Fluttershy what is that!" Demanded the colorful horses. "It's so cute!" screamed the pink one. Fluttershy decided to introduce me. "Oh, I don't know, but he appears to be a fox." Replied Fluttershy "Hi! What's going on!" This was a bad idea but I thought that I should deal with this sooner than later. "It can talk!?" They all screamed. "Yes. Again, what's going on? I don't want to repeat myself again!" Wow, I sound like a dick! The pink pony decided that she should explain. "We don't know! But Twilight, said something about a crystalling! My name is Pinkie Pie by the way!" "Duly noted. Who are the others?" "Oh, that's Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Apple Jack!" Replied the pink, energetic horse. Then something thought it was brave enough to enter the same room I was currently in, while I was getting my face space violated. Another pink pony, but a different shade of pink. And purple hair, with cyan accents. I'm starting to see a pattern. The muzzles. They are all the same with the females so it's safe to assume that this is also a female. I ignored the conversations these horses had and instead thought of my abilities and some other things. What else could I do? I know pyrokinesis, and shape shifting, but that's it. I'm just really butt hurt over the fact that I only know 2 things! Now that I think of it, is it pyrokinesis? The headache was not that much and I did feel a slight drain of.... something. It could be pyromancy I guess. This place seems pretty underdeveloped. Not much technology. But it makes up with pretty cool scenery. How did I even end up here? I remember laying on my bed and passing out almost immediately, but nothing else. This sounds arbitrary, in a way. I could have stayed awake and watched youtube, but, I had school the next day. Damn education system! I'm blaming this on you! Now that I think of it, I forgot to ask the name of the town we are currently in. Then I noticed that we are on the move. I was really deep in thought, huh. "....I'll have to study the fox like creature, when we get to the crystal empire." "I'm a zorua!" I hate the fact that i keep being called a fox. "Is that your species?" Asked the purple.... unicorn pegasus? "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle it's nice to meet you! This is Spike!" She pointed to the dragon that was on her back. Royalty, she is going to be a pain in the ass. "Don't mind me asking, but what are you?" I just have to know. This won't leave my mind, unless I find out. "I'm an alicorn. The fourth one actually." There are only 4 of them? "Who are the other 3?" "They are other princesses, and one is my sister in law!" This info is pretty useless considering what I want to do. I asked one final thing. "What is the name of the town that we are currently located in?" The answer I received should have been expected, but some times I'm an idiot."Ponyville." I just realized how tired I am, the running must have caught up with me. Not everyday I run for almost half an hour. "Well, I'm going to sleep, while I think about what I've learned!" I then retreated into Fluttershy's mane. 'Soft...' As I drifted into dreamland, I heard some one say something, but it was rather incoherent. When I awoke, I noticed that I was on a train and that my current companions are talking about some baby. Another thing I noticed was that I was wrapped in the warm embrace of a certain yellow pegasus. 'She must have moved me here.' A third thing I noticed is that I woke up next to a plush toy that looks like a bunny. I looked towards one of the many square windows the train car held. I saw Ponyville in the distance. So we left only a little while ago, and the horses have trains. "Oh! You're awake! Did you have a nice sleep?" Asked the butter colored pegasus, as she noticed my awakening. I jumped my way out of Fluttershy's grasp and landed on the floor. "Yeah! I'm going to explore!" The door was my exit and I took it. Outside of the train car, I jumped my way to the top. The wind is rushing past my face while I soak in the scenery. "This might be a good time to see what else I can do." I have the strange urge to swipe at the air. I did and was met with shock. I have appeared to cut through the air itself and opened a door to... somewhere. It's more of a hole than anything. I could only see blackness through it, too. The blue, spectral hole looked pretty stable. I looked through and was met with a void of sorts and, of course, more blackness. There was nothing there, just blackness. Maybe it's a work in progress realm created by some random deity? It's a far fetched idea, but it's certainly possible. I created a portal to some random dimension. "Creepy..." The tear in reality has kept up with the train some how, which is something that I just figured out. I tried to locate something that I could toss inside, to experiment. But I found nothing. Anything that could have been on top of this train is long gone! An idea hit me. I placed my paws on the edges of the tear and attempted to close it. It worked. The chances of that working are so low, but I'm still happy that it did. I'm going back in the train! Hopefully I'll feel better about this situation later, while I'm with the others. I jumped off the train roof and went back into the door that held my current allies who are blissfully unaware of what just happened.
Baby Princess of The Plastic EmpireAfter getting off the train, getting separated from the one pony who is named Starlight Glimmer and and the purple dragon named Spike, learning how to clone myself, make gems glow, learning that the void beyond the blue vortex is my own pocket dimension in a sense, telling these peasants my name, and meeting the other princesses, I got to see the baby. I jumped onto the bed that held the infant abomination that just so happens to be an alicorn as well. Talk about mary sues. I looked at my paw. With the things I now know, I'm a mary sue in a way. "Of course, I could be wrong!" Yelled the lavender horse named Twilight. I rolled my eyes, I then tuned them out like I always do and thought about my new abilities. Making gems glow is pretty cool but it's not useful. Cloning is good for when I need to be at multiple places at the same time. Having my own pocket dimension is pretty cool too. I even made a floating island in that void that I will soon call The Molten Mountains. Its going to be lava, stone, ash, usual hell stuff, but I just made it a red island as a placeholder for something greater. 'In that dimension, I can literally do anything I want apparently. In that realm, I am a god. I am-' Unfortunately, I was rudely interrupted by the demon foal sneezing and releasing a fuck ton of magic. I instinctively moved slightly closer to Twilight. I almost shit myself. But that energy felt...... good. Okay so maybe I'm stealing that energy the demon baby is releasing. "Lloyd, can you help Pinkie and I keep watch on the baby?" Asked the purple alicorn. "Wow, you must be really desperate for help if you ask me of all people!" That is true; the baby is really powerful and you actually need people who are competent enough to not fuck up with such an important task of watching royalty. I myself, have never cared about titles, if you can prove that your sad existence has actually accomplished something, you're okay with me. I can already see her friends leave to complete the tasks they've been assigned. Maybe I can twist this event to work in my favor. I could try. "But if you need me, I'll gladly help!" "Thanks! I really appreciate it!" "But you owe me a gem! I know about a dragon's diet now so you must have some for Spike!" I have a pretty cool idea involving a cave and glowing gems. "Deal!" Twilight obliged with my request, throwing me one of the colorful rocks. As soon as I caught it with my mouth I tossed it into the hole in reality I created. I then closed off the tear and jumped onto Twilight's back. After that conversation, the first magic laser was shot. "Fuck" That almost killed me, it was so close to my front left paw. I jumped onto Pinkie then I leaped onto the baby, I grabbed onto her back and planned on staying there. "This is the safest place. She won't shoot herself with magic." I said as I was being mindful of the baby's flapping wings. I whimpered. This might be a difficult task. Then the pinkish demon foal shot out some more lasers and started flying in some random direction. Fortunately, Twilight prepared magical shields. The baby abomination latched onto Pinkie and started dragging her around like a doll or something. I tried to steer the baby like she was a car. It worked I guess. Lean right, she moves a little bit right. Lean left, she moves a little bit left. I started to try and make her move in a circle around the room, but it's harder than it looks. "Stop moving!" I scream at the baby. Surprisingly, she does stop. She tries to look at me. Like she was expecting me to scream another command. "Well, that solves that problem, I guess." I sighed. These past few minutes were stressful. Unfortunately, the baby took that as her cue to keep flying. Fuuuuuuuuuck! She then started shooting lasers again. I observed the situation. I was trying to drive a living car, Pinkie is being held hostage by the living car, and Twilight was trying to quickly summon magic absorbing shields to stop the lasers. The demon baby has a lot of lasers to shoot! "Pinkie! Hold her still!" Twilight shouted after a while of blocking magical lasers. "I'm tryiiiinggggg!" Pinkie responded. "I could yell again!" It worked before. "Stop!" The baby was unfazed. Twilight eventually managed to trap all 3 of us in a bubble. The baby alicorn quickly adjusted to the lack of space and just started flying upside down, left to right, all sorts of maneuvers. That started to make me dizzy and nauseous, and I pretty much hated life at that point. Pinkie on the other paw, was unfazed by this. "My friends and brother should be done with preparing for the crystalling by now!" Said Twilight I responded by gagging a little. Twilight then began to trek through the crystal castle and we eventually found the other ponies. The area seems to be an empty space, it's only purpose seems to be holding the 2 spires that connect to some sort of blue heart. "We're here!" Yelled the purple alicorn princess. Pinkie also yelled. "She's a really strong flyer!" After she said that, Twilight's sister in law, Cadance pulled her demon child into a separate bubble. Separating us and the baby in the process. Pinkie was slowly brought to the ground by Twilight. When that happened the baby alicorn started reaching towards us, wanting to play some more I guess. Twilight, knowing I was sick from the obvious signs, slowly brought me to Pinkie's back. Once her magic left my body, the baby started to whimper and tear up. And with that, I threw up whatever I ate before coming here. After a while she pouted. The baby alicorn then unleashed a mighty wail upon us. We might have stood a chance if it had been the sea mammal whale. My ears are more sensitive than the ponies' so I was affected more. I covered my ears, trying to block out the ungodly sound. After the baby princes stopped her whale, the crystal looking heart started to crack up and shatter. Everyone, except me, gasped. The apple farmer named Apple Jack started to speak. "I'm guessing that's going to make it hard to do the crystalling." She said. "Was that heart important?" I asked being completely lost. Twilight decided to answer.. "Yes." She answered grimly, she started to trot to nearby curtains looking outside. "Apple Jack, its worse than that. Without the heart, the Crystal Empire is about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!" She said looking at the storm clouds already forming around the empire. I looked towards the cooing baby "I'm going to maim you one day!" Cadance noticed my whispering. "Did you say something?" She asked. Blissfully unaware of what I wanted to do to her child. "Oh nothing! I'm just saying how glad I am that your child has destructive powers!" I said absent mindedly. Everyone in the area gave me a weird look. "That's not what I meant!" I quickly said after I realized what I said. "Then what did you-" she tried to ask but I cut her off. "Shouldn't we focus on the spooky dark clouds surrounding the empire!?" That got everyone thinking about what to do and how to save this place now. I sighed, I just dodged a bullet there! I then looked towards the broken remnants of the heart and then towards the developing grey storm clouds "Houston, we have a problem!" Author's Note No notifications...... forever alone!
The Fluff Ball Meets Clouds of Doom"This far north, the weather has a will of its own!" Said the blue alicorn named Luna. "Wait that's not a normal occurrence?" I was confused. They force the weather to do their bidding most of the time. Talk about restraint. Weather can't do anything on its own. "No, it isn't! The pegasi control the weather! When we get back to Ponyville, I'm studying your anatomy among other things and teaching you equestrian culture, tradition, history, etc." Declared the purple alicorn. I nodded in respond. With nothing else to say at the moment, I stayed quiet. Do I have to battle evil clouds?" It was a legitimate question that no one answered. Instead, they went back to talking about how fucked the Crystal Empire is. I tried to do something. I shot a ball of dark fire out of my mouth and aimed it at a cloud. The ball of shadowy flames pierced through a cloud. Unfortunately, these clouds have quick regeneration. I call hacks. "Hugh!" I sighed. Life just sucks sometimes. If only I had wings..... shape shifting...... I looked towards the princesses of the sun and moon. Luna is blue so I'll take her form, when I need it that is! "Where is the library?" I asked, still frowning. "Follow me!" Answered Twilight. "I have a better idea! You walk, I sleep." I jumped onto Twilight's back. Come on mule! Twilight did not answer, so I assume that it's a done deal. I curled up and began to settle for the time. She is not moving, I quess I have to go on my own. "You know what, just give me directions and landmarks, I should find my way around!" Twilight did as told like a good little slave. "Adios, dickweeds!" After that, I took off running like my life depended on that. According to their butt hurt faces, that's probably true! After a dozen twists and turns, and turns and twists, I found what I was looking for. This library is humongous! There are rows upon rows of bookshelves, home to likely over a thousand books. The stench of dust from unused books and paper was strong with this one. Finding a certain book in this place is going to be difficult. I'm assuming we're going to need one on the Crystal Empire's history and magic so I looked around to search for the section that held the knowledge I will need and soon possess. "Here in my garage with my brand new Lamborghini..." I mumbled. How did that even get popular? I don't know. Some people are pretty stupid. Me included, but I'm the smart kind of stupid. The kind that is intelligent but still makes stupid decisions. Some people are genuinely stupid. After searching the giant library a little bit, I found a strange but interesting book. "Behavior of Endermen...... By Soren!?" This is not Minecraft Story Mode, Soren's books and shit should not be around here. But then I thought about it. What's going on? Am I being controlled and getting programmed by something out of this world? What is my purpose? Am I some character in a video game? Will I ever be in a dank meme? Will I ever be noticed by my sempai, Harambe? Will my life actually be good for something? I began to ponder at the possible deeper meaning the book held some more. "I can't think about deep questions like this! I still haven't created a dank meme involving a certain umbreon with blue eyes." That will be a long and perilous journey that all dirty memesters must take! "But first, I will need Equestria's wifi password!" At least I think it's called Equestria, according to Twilight, the magical purple alicorn. It appears the other members of my group arrived. To be honest, they seem like dead weight if they're this slow. "Took you long enough!" I called out. "We ran into an issue that needed to be dealt with!" Stated Twilight Sparkle. Excuses, excuses! I have had enough of those! "Just help, okay!" I called back! I'm too tiny! I can't reach the top shelves, but I won't point that out, because of my inherent insecurities. "Well now seems to be the time, I might need to shape shift." I mumble as I walked to my destination, which was a promising book shelf. I stopped at a shelf that might hold value, and then transformed. As a purple aura encased me, my paws converted into hooves, I sprouted a horn and wings, grew taller, etc. That was kind of painful, just like the first time. Pretty soon I looked like Luna. I gave my new wings a few test flaps. Getting a feel for the new, blue, and feathery appendages. I spread my wings and flew to the top layer of books. I picked one out that whispered empty promises and saw that it was completely useless. I then placed the book back into the proper spot and searched some more. A laser zipped past my face, leaving a slight cut. 'I could have been seriously wounded right there...' I had a feeling I know who the perpetrator was. Unfortunately I was so scared that I turned back into my normal fluffy self, and fell! 2 good things came out of that, though. I learned that under certain conditions, I can change back to my usual form. The other discovery is that, if I am wounded when I am in another form, I will keep that injury when I change back. That was too fast! I only had about a minute in that form! I stared at the baby that dared to attack and almost kill me. My eyes grew dark as I prayed to my lord and savior Harambe that this abomination gets consumed by the the eternal void that is my dimension and stay lost in there for the rest of its ugly, stupid, baby man child life! Or I could always sacrifice it to Harambe! Take your dicks out for Harambe! I let the dark thoughts escape my brain and payed attention to my surroundings. My ears flicked towards some noise. The intelligent, stupid, purple alicorn known as Twilight Sparkle has found a book that holds promises that are not as empty as the book I found. Unfortunately, the baby thought that it should remove the only thing that seemed useful! I let the grim thoughts return as I slowly stalked towards the infant."I am going to send you to the glowing ball of orange, life threatening gas and end your pathetic existence, you cretin!" Ok, so maybe I'm a little mad. I started to make a ball of energy in my mouth and shot it at the bookshelf behind the abomination, narrowly missing it. Thankfully the library is big, I have good eyesight, and the baby and I are on the other side of the library, so Twilight and the others didn't know that I tried to murder a member of an endangered species. It was then that I realized how hungry I am. "Maybe I can have my own adventure." I left as swiftly as I can as I heard Twilight and the others enter the scene of the would be crime. 'Gotta go fest!' (Memewhile) This castle is huge! Where am I even going! This castle is seriously a maze. All of these tall crystal hallways even look the same! I am just trying to look for a pantry! Doing this on my own is going to take a while. I then got to a brilliant idea! I split myself into 2. "You know what you're doing right?" I asked my clone. "Of course I do, I am you after all. Help find the pantry by searching different corridors." The other fluffy pokemon replied. "Good." We then jumped off to different directions of the intersection we stopped at. I think I'll make clones more often, but they are me, so they are complete cunts. I eventually made it outside, which is something I didn't want happening. I spotted the rulers of the land being covered in snow, while facing a losing battle against the clouds. I should help, mainly because I have nothing else to do, and because I wanted to test out my abilities. I constructed fire within my mouth and shot it out as a flame thrower. It passed through the cloud layer, effectively earning the princesses' attention. I waved. They waved back, acknowledging my assistance. I transformed into Luna again and flew up. " So you're fighting clouds?" They are a bit surprised, and Luna was a bit annoyed that I decided to take her form. "That is the idea!" Oh, good. They have no idea what they're doing. They don't understand that their efforts are futile, the clouds will regenerate. Maybe they are just having fun. "Hey watch this!" I yelled out. I then turned into a living inferno, in the shape of a pony. I passed through the clouds and the fire exploded, destroying some of the storm clouds around me. "Cool, right?" I think it's cool, but still, I had to ask. The rulers of Equestria nodded. "To be honest, I don't know why I'm helping you!" I started. It's true, in my opinion I will have better luck doing something good in that dark forest of spooky evil. "I don't really care about any of you and if you were all burning and I had a glass of water I could use to put out the fire, I would drink the water!" Their reaction, is a bit humorous. Think of an offended land whale that is also suicidal, and if that land whale was being poisoned by deadly neurotoxin. Not a good description but that is the face they're making. "Hey asshole!" my clone desires my attention. "What's up you piece of shit?" I murmured, responding to my clone. "I found some food!" "Well that's a surprise! You are good for something!" Yes, I am a dick to even myself. This is why I have brain damage! That brief conversation started the longest hour of my life. (A couple of hours later) After murdering the clouds and whatever hopes and dreams they had, Restoring the crystal heart, having the crystalling in the heart of the Crystal Empire Play Set, reuniting with my clone, eating food, and meeting the parents of Twilight and her brother, We eventually got back to the little town Ponyville. "So, I helped! Where am I staying? The forest?" I asked, legitimately thinking that I had to make a home there. "Nope!" The fat, purple alicorn known as Twilight Sparkle stated. "You're staying with me! I still have to run tests on you, see what you are, and tell you about pony culture! You could be my second student!" She said, her eyes shining like stars in the inky black sky. That is not a face that I like, it's like she loves school and learning. What mortal loves school and learning!? "This won't end well!" I mumbled to myself. Might as well deal with it and live in the sparkle hut. I get a place to stay, so it might not be all bad. "Lead the way, Twi!" I barked. Twilight, Spike, Starlight, and I broke off from the rest of the group. We are on our way to the giant tree castle, and that's when the thought crossed my mind. 'I have to share a living space with a princess, a dragon, and a former cult leader. This place will not stay quiet for long.' Author's Note Since I'm lazy, this is the best I can do. Don't hate the player because I already hate myself...
Zorua Party"...and that should sum it all up." Oh thank Harambe it's finally over. "Tomorrow, I'll start teaching you about equestrian culture." Twilight continued. "Twilight I am never letting you study me again, that was a vicious examination. And did you have to pull out some of my fur?" That procedure was horrifying. "Yes, this is vital to my research on your species." Twilight responded. She then walked up the stairs that led into the rest of the castle. Speaking of Harambe, I wish I got famous for being murdered. To be honest I wouldn't have shot Harambe to save one measly human child. Knowing us, the kid would have probably grown up being an idiot so why bother? It's 1 of millions maybe even billions of humans compared to 1 of about a couple of thousands maybe even hundreds of silver back gorillas. I would save the one with a smaller population; It seems like the logical thing to do. But that's just my opinion. I'm glad I am no longer with the rest of my kind, I would likely have to argue for hours, and that is a huge waste of time. But leaving my kind doesn't matter much to me, it's only a few people I actually care about.... family. I don't have any friends. I'm too 'weird' as they call it. Stupid excuse for not being friends. But then again, at this age, I am obviously smarter than them. All being friends would do for me is to get cheaters interested in my assignments, so I stayed an outsider. It's better that way, and I'm known, among bullies, as the kid that broke the arm of one of their cult members. My brooding was interrupted by a certain dragon. "Dude, you okay?" Asked the dragon. "Yeah, just thinking." I replied. "About what?" Asked the dragon with interest, clearly wanting to know more about me. "Nothing." Why is he here? I should ask. "Why are you here?" "Oh yeah! Breakfast is ready! Come one!" Oh food! That certainly makes me happy. They say that the best way into a man's heart is through his stomach. I don't know who 'they' are, but they spoke words of truth. At least that's how it is for me. Purple Shep Mode Activated "My favorite color is toaster. Where is daddy Pink Sheep?" I just started spouting nonsense as my eyes started going into different directions. I spun my head and I am back to normal. "Why does that keep happening." It doesn't happen that much, but every once in a while it happens. It's a pretty useless ability to have. I eventually met up with the crystal tree crew containing Twilight, Spike, And Starlight. I think I saw an owl some where, but I'm not sure. I jumped onto the table and decided to lie down on a pillow on the table that was just for me. "Oooh, this looks good. Even though half this stuff is hay." I looked towards Twilight and gave her a look. A look that said 'Do you know what I am?' It's a complex kind of look that only the dankest creatures will understand. "I can't eat hay." I saw Spike look a little embarrassed and guilty. I also gave him that deep frown. I stared deep within his very soul to find the reason for this despicable choice of food. Let's think about it. I am not meant to be able to consume hay. My digestive system will, likely, not do anything to take nutrients out of the hay. My body is not compatible with that choice of food. "Well, we have to go to Sugarcube Corner..... right Twilight?" Asked the young drake. He obviously reacts negatively when exposed to that gaze. I'll call it 'The Pimp Stare'. "Yes.... come one Lloyd, we need to go." It seems that Twilight is also reacting. I'll keep note of this. 'That really gets them good.' After finishing eating what I could digest, we then started to walk the long trail to the abomination called 'Sugarcube Corner'. As we entered the streets I realized that I have no idea where we are going. I will need to explore Ponyville to understand the layout and know where to go when I'm on my own. I'm starting to doze off again. I shook my head. Twilight does not mess around when it comes to 'Studying a new species' as she said it. It took the whole night. She is not even fazed. Maybe the one hour of sleep at the end helped her. Is she used to taking only an hour of sleep. I started to see a certain strange looking building in the distance. No, not the cloud house. I already know that pegasi can stand on clouds and manipulate them. I'm talking about the gingerbread house. This must be Sugarcube Corner. We started walking closer and I can see more details up close. 'Yep. This is definitely the place.' It actually appeared to be made out of candy. But, it's expected considering the pink earth pony that infects the town with the virus known as randomness. This town does not surprise me anymore. So we have a crystal tree castle, a cloud house, an evil forest next to the town, the burnt remains of an actual tree, and a candy house. Was Willy Wonka here at some point? I heard some whispering. It wasn't obvious, I had to keep quiet a little bit to catch on. This is probably going to be some sort of surprise. Who ever is inside of there is fired. "Why are we here?" I needed to ask that to bring some noise to the silence that plagued the air. "I forgot about something here. and I thought you 2 might have wanted a snack." Twilight's reply seemed rather sound, but there was one issue.... she's lying. "Alright." I opened the door and was met with darkness. Our group of 3 stepped into the building and then something expected happened. "Surprise!" Screamed out at least a dozen of voices. That explains the lack of other ponies in town. Then Pinkie appeared. "Are you surprised!? This whole party took a while to plan because of Cadence and Shining Armor's baby, the crystalling, and all of the other fun/Equestria ending stuff!" "To be completely honest, a few whisperers made sure that this wasn't a surprise." I said, looking to a corner that held 3 certain fillies. Two thirds of them are sisters of ponies in my friend group. "Ahh!" Pinkie groaned. " i wanted your 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' to be a surprise! Oh well at least we still have a party!" Her optimism is very appealing. After that brief conversation, I went to some random table in a corner, took a cookie, and nibbled on it in silence. I was never one for parties and get togethers, but to make Pinkie happy I'll try to enjoy it. And that starts with this gift from the heavens. Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie interrupted the consumption process. "Stop sitting in this table by yourself! Let's play pin the tail on the pony Lloydy Toidy!" I have nothing else to do so sure."Fine, but don't ever say that nickname again!" "Here are the procedures. You must be blindfolded then spun 3 times and you need to find your way to the pony poster and pin the tail on it." Twilight explained as she walked to my corner of the party room. As we walked to the area where the game is played, more ponies watched and joined us. I was blindfolded and spun like I expected and just like that, I was completely disoriented and blind. I took a step while wondering how I'm holding the tail and how I'll do this. "We lowered the pony poster so you'll be able to get the tail on it." 'Gee, thanks.' I feel, slightly offended because this is because I'm so tiny. But I shouldn't be, this helps me in the end and what's the point of being offended by something? Being offended, butt hurt and triggered doesn't help any one. The only thing it would do is force people to avoid you. While I was slowly walking, in a sad attempt to win the game, I fell. Not being able to see is a real disadvantage. Every on started laughing. "Well, ain't that something sugar cube! You are terrible! Said Apple Jack between laughs. "I'd like to see you do better, you inbred mule!" Fortunately, the townsfolk didn't hear because of the laughter, but Apple Jack did. Apple Jack ended up being very offended and went next. Determined to show me how good she is. Apple Jack crashed into a table. Now it was her turned to be laughed at for failure and my turn to be smug. Now that I think of it, these are pretty shitty people. They laugh at you for the tiniest mistake. I need to be careful if I don't want to end up being a joke to them, something that can't ever be taken seriously. I went back to the table to enjoy the delicacies known as cookies. And that's how the party is going to continue for me, I'll make sure the cookie eating process is not interrupted. Author's Note I think this is a better way to write thoughts Hi
MorningAfter the party, everyone eventually went home, including me. Twilight let me use one of the guest rooms scattered around the castle. That is going to be my room from now on. When I first entered it, there was nothing other than the usual 'guest room' stuff. A bed, and a bedside table with a few drawers to store stuff. It was a perfect start. This guest room was far away from everything else I know everyone uses. It makes going to the bathroom and everywhere else a little difficult because I'll have to walk for a couple of minutes, but that is just one downside. Fortunately, I have a bathroom connected to my room. Coincidence, right? There is a MAJOR upside. Because I'm so far away, I get a lot of me time. I like being alone, the quiet helps. It calms and soothes me, in a way. The tick tocking of the clock on the wall is the only constant noise. It doesn't bother me, I've come to get used to it. This seems to be a good time to think. How do I have my abilities. There is nothing science related I can find from this. Twilight only studied my anatomy last night, so she doesn't know either. Well, the shape shifting is certainly physical. But other than that, everything else seems like magic. I'm still not sure if the fire is pyromancy or pyrokinesis. There is absolutely no possible reason I can think of, that explains how I can do any of this. The only one I can think of is 'Magic happened. That's it.' but it seems cheap. This magic thing, it seems like it's an easy answer, if you can't find anything just say magic happened. If something is unexplainable, everyone will just go 'It's magic. It doesn't need an explanation.' Which sucks. I desire an explanation. Oh well. I need to sleep now. I can already feel my eyes shut and I'm already dozing off a little. Sleep is good. Sleep is...... good. Without sleep you fall into a coma after a few days. Sleep prevents that. 'Doctor Who is my favorite show...' (Sleep Skip) 'Birds..... my mortal enemy...' The thing about morning birds is that they just find the perfect place next to the window to perch on and just tweet like there is no fucking tomorrow. And for some of them, there is no tomorrow..... because I would have burned them. I didn't want to wake up. This bed is already calling me back to dream land. I am NOT a morning person. I didn't get many birds to wake me up in my previous urban environment, but I still hate them. I hate everything that messes with me, even once. But unlike feminists, I keep that dislike to myself. Those people could learn a thing or two from me. I'm talking about modern feminists. I encountered one, once. She accused me of sneezing at her. Which was stupid because she should know how the human nose works. I called her a tumor on humanity and walked away. She pursued me for a while but eventually gave up. That was a close call if you think about it. I walked to the door that led to the bathroom. I jumped onto a nearby stool and opened said door. I walked into the room, jumped onto the sink, and grabbed the essentials. Toothbrush and tooth paste. Brushing my teeth will be weird for a while because of my new, slightly different teeth, but only slightly. At least I didn't end up with a third jaw. That would be weird. Like, really weird. Weirdception. Is that a word I don't think it is. Well it is now. "Time to start another uneventful morning. This is only my second day and I already hate this place." I wish to burn this tree to the ground but I can't because of plot barriers. I assume it's those. I hope it's those. If not, then I'll prepare for my most unfortunate death. I rinsed my mouth and left the bathroom. I looked around the bedroom. I have an idea to see if this is real or not. Smack! I lay on the ground covering my cheek while experiencing some severe agony. 'Note to self, don't smack myself in the face again to see if this is real.' After a minute or two of intense pain, I slapped myself really hard, I opened the door that led into my bedroom and I started to search the corridors for my current teacher. (Corridor Skip) The only sound that accompanied me is the sound of my paws hitting the floor. It's just like the Crystal Empire! Copy and paste corridors. I'm serious, I've seen this exact same corridor three times. It's either I'm very, very lost or I'm entering the same hallways with the same design, color palette, everything! It's so strange. How am I going to find Twilight while in this situation. What would Snowball do? She would probably just scram into her cage and sleep the night away like the lazy fur ball she is. Too bad she's dead now. Goodbye happy rabbit memories. I heard a sound in a nearby room. Like something falling. There are also slightly muffled voices, and one of them sounds exactly like a purple alicorn i was trying to find. 'I swear to god, if I see Twilight mast- My thoughts were interrupted when I opened the door. "Oh..... my..... Harambe...." My previous theory had to be thrown out the window as I saw the contents of this chamber. The monsters inside this room are worse than the thought of Twilight beating it! My second worst enemy! The creatures I swore, on my pet bunny's grave, to destroy! The demons that lurk in the dark! It's sentient creatures reading and enjoying literature! Books!
Discordly DiscorderSpike, the purple dragon was currently trying to climb his way out of a fucking gigantic pile of books. And I do mean gigantic. It reminds me of the titanic. Last I checked, there was a crew that recently discovered the remnants of that ship. Ok, maybe a few years ago but still recent in the grand scheme of things since the universe is billions and billions of years old While the dragon was struggling to reach oxygen and freedom I looked over to Twilight. She was also buried in her own pile of books. But she didn't seem to care. Casually reading a book while you are half way buried by a couple dozen books says a lot. "What happened?" I had to ask. The situation was just too weird. Like that one time some one on xbox thought I was a girl and asked me to be his girlfriend. He is by far, the biggest idiot I have ever met in my life. "Magic accident" answered a familiar voice in a different corner of the room, separate from the rest of the current residents in this chamber. "What kind of magic accident, Starlight?" I asked. This is really interesting. But the answer I would receive would probably be something stupid like Starlight failing at magic control. "You know what, don't answer that." "Alright." There was silence. This is akward. Spike spoke after escaping the chains from the book fort. "Well, I have to go mine gems with Rarity." He then sped out of the room, leaving me to suffer and choke on the cloud of dust he left behind. "That reminds me! The princesses are coming! I need to prepare! How could I forget?!" Cried Twilight, clearly panicking about what would be a normal situation if you were friends with normal people and not the leaders of a nation. Can't blame her, but if I were in her situation I would probably be rather indifferent. But that seems off. It's just a little out of character for book horse to forget something important like that. Like being late for a job interview because your girlfriend just keeps bitching and nagging about how you're a deadbeat or something else that sounds insulting but really isn't. You are just so focused on the headache you gained that you lost your chance to make a good first impression. But while in reality I was prepared this time for another charge so I summoned a cloud beneath me, and I used them to carry me to the ceiling. Once I was sure she was gone, I separated all the dust and water vapor and whatever else was in those clouds. I looked to Starlight, the only other creature in the large study we're in. "Want to explore the town?" I got nothing better to do, and I don't have any time killers with me. God, I miss overwatch. "Uh, sure." That's her response. Come on fellas! Give this grade A actor an oscar! And with that..... we're off on our adventure! But wait! Plot twist! Starlight also just coincidentally remembered that she needed to be some where probably not as important as she makes it out to be! So I'm off on my adventure! 'Horray! Loneliness is so depressing!' (Unnecessary Time Skip) As soon as I got out the door, I was met with a problem... well 2 problems.... maybe 3. The first, the townsfolk immediately noticed me.... and they began to swarm. How adorable am I for them to have such a violent reaction!? It makes no sense! And these citizens are the "weird" ones. You know when your Charlie Gordon like friend in flowers for algernon did something most would find completely insane? I am terrible at descriptions. As I started running I had to dodge and swerve around multiple obstacles that the denizens of Ponyville were either too stupid, too distracted, or too big to avoid for a grand total of 5 minutes. I built up a pattern I'm sure they noticed and broke the pattern after the 8th left. After running around a street corner, I spotted an alleyway. Like a normal creature being chased, I leaped into the crevice between houses and hid behind a dumpster. That was oddly convenient. Like the universe is actually assisting me. While hiding I heard the sounds of galloping and dumbasses wanting to pet me start to decrease in volume. They were more civil at the party. Maybe those ponies weren't at the party and the civil ones took to much space so they weren't allowed? I honestly have no idea. Maybe Pinkie could answer, she seems used to this. My second problem. Twilight forgot to give me a tour around the towns, directions to key places her friends would be located, or at least a map. Another thing out of character for her. The possibly third issue, I vandalized a shoe. Wait what? No, the third issue is that I can't go back to contact Spike or Starlight because I have no idea where they are and I can't go to Twilight because she's occupied with the princesses and is preparing for their arrival. Not because it would be impolite, she would be too busy to help. From her prospective, preparing for the princesses is more important that helping me. I just layed there for a while. Thinking on a plan. And then videogame scripting got triggered and then spawned a fluttershy a few feet away. Well, not spawned. More like appeared and happened to walk by. Holy shit, what the hell is that abomination next to her! That monstrosity looks like it should be the unofficial love child from an orgy featuring Bloody Mary, Cthulu, Adolf Hitler, literally every member of Isis, mixed with a little bit of T-rex and crazy jizz. So weird stuff. "So how was your day, Lloyd?" Said monstrosity asked, teleporting next to me. "Enjoying what I did to spice up your life?" "It was you! I will rip your heart out of your beating chest and blast you with shells from my washing machine shotgun!" "Aw I thought I was doing you, and... uh the moderator Sir Snowball, a service." For some reason it sounds like he only brought me here because he lost a game at poker. "You weren't the first joe I brought here, though so don't think you're special. I just peer into the other dimensions and bring souvenirs from them to this world and see how the residents react. It's usually a mix between boring and amusing, but you are a special case. I never heard of anyone doing anything silly like vandalizing a shoe." Exposition? "My name is Discord." He continued. "Master of chaos and chocolate rain!" With a snap of his fingers a pinkish cloud suddenly popped into existence and started pouring down liquid chocolate upon me. Delicious liquid chocolate. Safe to say, I kept my mouth wide open to drink up all the chocolate. "Your welcome. Now if you excuse me, I need to have tea time with Fluttershy. Just needed to answer a question you probably didn't have. Like I said, you are a special case. Large quantity of 'do not care.' Toodles!" And with that he disappeared. Along with the chocolate cloud. I'm... just going to sit down, and cry for a minute and figure out where to go to do something at east some what relevant, like find Spike, or the other 5 members of the squad that are not crossed off the list like Twilight and now Flutttershy. This Discord character could possibly be a threat under certain conditions. Author's Note It's been a long time, I know. But I haven't been motivated to do anything else other than play call of duty black ops 2 with my friends. Also playing subnautica for the past 2 weeks. Very fun.
