Clichés in Equestria

by iloveportalz0r

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human
Length: 430

Chad goes to Equestria and has awesome adventures and stuff

Chad Chadson, son of Chad Chadfather, has been having a pretty crappy life ever since his parents died in a horrible accident, but things start looking up when Allah sends him to Equestria to enlighten the infidels. He forgets about that and has awesome adventures and stuff (Allah won't mind, right?).

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-23 06:55:50 UTC

Arrival

Once upon a time on a dark and stormy night, Chad Chadson (don’t ask about the name), a white male teenager who lives in the United States of America, was walking home from school after being bullied yet again by his arch-nemesis, Brad Bradson (still don’t ask).

Allah damn, I hate that Bradson faggot, he thought to himself in his head with his brain. Due to this moment of intense thinking, Chad failed to look both ways before he crossed the street. Chad, hearing a noisy truck noise, looked up and to the left to see a massive fucking cargo truck headed straight for him!

“Oh, fuck!” yelled Chad as he tried to sprint away from it. Being the second-worst runner in gym class (the worst being that fat Gladson fuck), he did not sprint quickly enough to avoid the massive fucking cargo truck that was still headed straight for him.

With a terrible ghastly splat, the truck driver was scarred for life.

Chad’s next waking moment was pure unagony, as Allah repaired the damage from Chad’s fatal accident.

Chad opened his eyes to see Allah’s indescribably triangular form hovering over him. Due to Allah’s holiness, Chad immediately knew what he was seeing. He was also blessed with Allah’s full name, which is Abdul Allahparent (don’t ask, seriously).

“Greetings, Allah! Are you here to revive me so that I may continue on my quest to rid the world of Brad Bradson?” asked Chad.

“No, my son. I have a far greater task for you, for I have discovered a land filled with infidels in need of enlightenment. It is plagued by aching facial muscles that are tired out due to things other than knowledge of me! This is a travesty that must be stopped at once!” proclaimed Allah.

“Before I accept, tell me what I must do, father!” Chad said loudly and excitedly in Allah’s direction.

“The place I am sending you to is one that you are familiar with. The name is Equestria, and—”

“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!” YELLED CHAD.

And just like that, he was gone.

Chad Chadson woke up with an aching headpound. As he breathed in to replenish his energy, air and other things entered his nose, and he smelled foresty/dirty crap. As he sat up and looked around, he immediately recognized his surroundings due to his superior fan knowledge. This caused a peculiar reaction that resulted in his voice being temporarily stuck in a British accent.

“By golly and blimey and stuff! I’ve ended up inside that old castle in the Everfree Forest!”