How to live an immortal life
The chaos pocket dimension was an ocean of wild, untamed chaos created on a whim by the Draconequus spirit that inhabited Equestria. It was a place without landmarks, and, for that matter, without land in any meaningful sense. The place was utterly hostile to ponies and most sentient creatures.
Paradoxically (or maybe quite logically by being so paradoxical), Discord's house was an island of order in this ocean of chaos. Whether it had been done because he was lazy or because he wanted to accommodate more conventional guests than himself was a mystery that even Twilight didn't dare touch. To learn about the Draconequus way of thinking was often frustrating, sometimes dangerous and rarely rewarding. And it always ended with pranks at her expenses and mild property destruction.
Both she and Discord knew this. They had both tacitly agreed that Twilight was to mind her own business and never again try to pry into his mind or essence, while the other would do his very best to make the prospect tempting. It had resulted in a relative peace between the two creatures. Until now.
Twilight took a deep breath as she contemplated the door of the little house in front of her. Then having delayed the inevitable long enough, she knocked. It opened after a few seconds, revealing the familiar Draconequus, wearing some sports supporter attire.
"Twilight?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "What owes me the honour?"
"We need to talk Discord."
"Can it wait? My favourite team is playing and I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Hum..."
"Oh, who am I kidding, it's all recorded. Please come in Princess."
Twilight entered, discovering a room as unconventional as one would expect. In addition to being way bigger than it's appearance let on, part of the decoration was standing up on the wall or the ceiling, defying gravity with the most aggravating nonchalance. Stairs would climb down reaching some kind of upper level that would be in fact lower than the level she was currently in once she reached it. Her head throbbed from both excitement and exasperation. She decided to ignore it for the time being. She had more important matters to talk about.
"We need to talk Discord," she repeated.
"So you've told me. What do you want to talk about Princess? Magic? Friendship? The unsuspected virtues of forgiveness?"
"I want to talk about you and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy."
"Oh! My Princess, if you wanted to gossip, you should have said so from the get-go!" He snapped his finger, making two chairs appear beside him and Twilight, electing a yelp of surprise from her. In the second of inattention the event had provoked, the Spirit had managed to change his appearance, adding heavy makeup and a wig to his features to look exactly like the caricature of a gossip pony. "Go on."
"Do not play dumb with me! I know you've started to see each other."
"Oh my! I did not know that my love life was already a public affair."- The makeup and wig disappeared. -"So? What about my relationship with the Element of Laughter and the Element of Kindness displeases you?"
"I am not displeased. Yet. But I want to know what are your intentions about her and Fluttershy. It was already complicated enough with you befriending Fluttershy, then dating her... now you want to double date my friends? What are your intentions?"
"Well, you said it yourself," he said, gesturing with his paw. "Date them. Oh wait! Maybe you're unfamiliar with the concept."- He gave her a pitying look. -"The books didn't help did they?-" He finger-snapped a blackboard and a ruler into existence and pointed different phrases on it "- Well let me explain to you. I plan to spend some time with these mares. We will have fun in a new, intimate and unique way, share activities and spend enjoyable time with each other. See? Not that hard."
"But why Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy?"
"What can I say? I have a weak spot for pink manes... Remind me of cotton candy you see..."
"That's all?" Twilight let out, incredulous.
"Of course not! I also absolutely love blue eyes! How could I resist? I'm not made of stone! Well not anymore..."
"You're joking..."
"Oh my no! Never would I dare joke on such a sensitive matter as my preference in ponies! Wait... Are you jealous?"
"What? No!"
"Oh, you kinky mare! Want a piece of that old Draconequus?" he jested, passing his talon in his black mane. "Well tough! I already have two marevelous marefriends!"
"Discord! I'm serious!"
"Of course you are... you're rarely anything else."
Twilight sighed and pinched the bridge between her eyes in frustration. Why was it so hard to discuss with the Spirit?
"Listen," she started, "I'm not here to pick a fight. I know you're not the bad person you once were-"
"Yet, you come into my house unannounced to ask about my presumed ulterior motives," he pointed out.
Twilight bit her lips at the accusation. "You're right," she admitted. "I apologise."
"As you should."
There was a short silence between them. Discord was the one to break it.
"So Princess. Are you finally going to ask me the true question?"
Twilight hesitated a moment, both looking for the right to ask it and looking for excuses not to ask it. "Why did you do it? You know they will... not stay with you."
"You mean they will die, and I will not. You can say it you know? I'm a grown Draconequus, I know how those things work."
Twilight nodded sadly. "Yes... that's what I meant."
"Before I answer, little princess, may I inquire why you asked me and not your mentor?"
"I... I'm not sure. I was curious about you I guess. You're immortal, just like the princesses. You're likely way older than them too. Yet you live your life like..."
"As if every day could be my last?"
"Yes."
The Draconequus took a deep breath. His gaze lost focus. "You're right. I'm an old Draconequus. I was old when Celestia and Luna first toyed with the moon and the sun. I was old when ponies started to organise in tribes. I've seen even concepts crumble." The chimaera chuckled. For once, it was not a happy sound. "There will be a day when I'm alive and they're not. There will probably even be a day when I'm alive and no one but me, you and maybe a handful of immortals remember them. Maybe there'll even be a day when not even I remember them. It would be the most terrible shame don't you think? Pinkie Pie's laughter and Fluttershy's kindness lost to the ineluctable passage of time..."
Twilight did not answer. What was there to say?
"Do you remember your dreams, Twilight Sparkles? Did you once have such a great dream it stayed into that overinflated mind of yours? You'll have countless more dreams and time to sleep, yet, this dream will forever mark you. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are like that to me. They will fade into oblivion while I'll still roam this planet, looking for more excitement and new experiences. But their mark will remain, for a time at least. Maybe I will remember them a decade or two after they left me. Maybe a century. Maybe a millennium. Maybe I'll never let them go, forever marked by their passage. But ultimately, they will be passing. I will not. So I enjoy every little moment with them, not because tomorrow could be my last day, but because it could as well be theirs."
The Draconequus stayed silent a moment, his gaze still lost in the vague. A few seconds passed, then his attention shifted toward the mare once again.
"So Princess, did my answer satisfy you?"
Twilight nodded weakly.
"Now that your curiosity and your overprotective pulsions have been satisfied, it is time to talk about my compensation don't you think?" he said, a malicious grin growing on his face.
"What? What are you talking about?" Twilight took a step back, slightly worried at the thought of whatever Discord had planned.
"Well, you didn't think that I would bare my soul and let go of my facetiousness for those beautiful purple eyes, or the gorgeous mare behind them, didn't you?" Twilight blushed furiously as the creature laughed at her embarras. "Usually I'd take my payment in the form of a few pranks, but today, I feel generous, so I'll be content with you doing something fun and unexpected. Like going out for a date."
"A-a date? With who?"
"Does it matter? Are you into mature ponies? I know for a fact that there are two beautiful alicorns not too far in Canterlot. Stallions mayhaps? I've heard tales of a nice orange guardspony you spent some time with... Or maybe those two mares you care so much for, you came unannounced in my lair to be sure of my intents," he said with a wry grin.
Twilight blushed even more. "I thought you were talking about you..."
"Aren't you the kinky mare!" he cackled. "Well, if you want to seduce me, you're welcome to try."
The Draconequus laughed loudly as Twilight tried to regain some composure.
"I-I need to think," she stuttered. "About all this. What you've been telling me."
"As you do."
Twilight got up and got to the door, her head filled with more information than she wanted and a whole new perspective to explore. As she opened the door, the Draconequus called her softly.
"Twilight?"
"Yes?"
"Don't take too long. -" he winked at her, then took a more serious tone. "- You may have all the time in the world, but some of us have a limited supply of it."
Author's Note
This story has been in my "to write" folder for almost a year.
I had some time, I wanted to experiment with new topics and to write a serious Discord. Here's the result. Hope you enjoyed.
