At War with the Army

by Clear_Skies

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bat Pony, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 37468

As a pony in the service, there is the name you're born with, the mark you earn, and then the one you earn. Newly-minted Captain Down Range is tasked with taking command of Lazy Company - better known as the dumping ground of the Royal Army.

The Equestrian Military welcomes with open arms those who want to escape their pasts, hide from their present, or create a new future.
Down Range is a kelpie blessed with dumb luck. After strafing a peace treaty ceremony, he finds himself promoted and given command to the greatest legion of deadbeats ever known to grace the military, the 127th otherwise known as the "Lazy Company."
Cpt. D-Range finds himself tasked with turning these rags into an effective and cohesive unit.
Some ponies have all the luck. D-Range will certainly be testing his own in the coming months!

Published 2016-10-28 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-06 18:04:09 UTC

Chapter 1 - A little Incite goes a long way

Lazy Company File - #001*

Some have commented that the military mind tends to expand work to fill, or overfill, available time. While I will not attempt to comment on the overall accuracy of said statement, it is most certainly the case in regards to our preparations prior to departure for my superior officer.
(A notion that certainly brings about a moment of brooding)

For Captain D-Range, this meant countless shopping expeditions, both in person, and by dragon fire tablet. As you will note in these chronicles, unlike many of his financial level, he was never reluctant to part with his money. In fact, when confronted by a choice of two items, he generally solves such a dilemma by simply purchasing both-a habit I found less than endearing as I was the one required to store and track such acquisitions.

Of course, his pursuit of equipment and wardrobe meant that other important chores tended to be neglected...such as conducting research on the situation which we had been thrust into. As is so often the case, I felt compelled to step into this void, in order to summaries what he will need to know in a short amount of time.

*You will forgive me, as there will be gaps where I have removed or withheld files which are either pointlessly caught up in petty minutia, or contain notions that would certainly lead to my own court marshaling, though I fear there isn't a fate worse that I can be committed to as compared to the (as I've learned) Lazy Company.

Camped in one of the airport's numerous snack bars, Downy was putting his dragon fire tablet to good use for the last several hours, tirelessly scratching in message after message with the assistance of his H.A.N.D.s**. Finally he signed off with a flourish and replaced the tablet into his saddle bags.

"Well, that's about all I can think of for now, Lot," he declared, letting loose a deep yawn. "The rest can hold until we've had a chance to look over our new home."

"Nice of you to curb your enthusiasm, sir, and it is Lotus, if you would." Lotus said dryly. "If it behooves you too do so, we can board our transport now, rather than later, as we should have done well over an hour ago."

"Oh don't worry about it." Downy started to finish his coffee, then set it aside with a grimace as the harsh stale taste of the cold brew met his tongue. Some things remained untouched by even magical means it seems. "It isn't like we're taking a commercial airship. This ship was hired specifically to transport us to Ponyville. I doubt it'll leave without us if we're a little late."

"Oh such confidence, how I wish I could share in it, sir. More likely the pilot will cancel the flight completely and make do with an early turn in for the day."

Downy threw a quizzical gaze to his companion.

"Certainly are the Gloomy Gus eh Lot? In fact, you've been a might dour ever since the court-martial. What's got your tongue crossed?"

The 1st lieutenant shrugged. "Let us say, I do not have the greatest faith in our military, as I once did sir."

"Example?"

"If I must, for one thing, there's this chartered flight. Considering the tight-fisted nature of the military, I find it a bit out of character for them to allow the added expense like this to take place, as opposed to us taking the usual mode of travel."

"Ah easy." Downy laughed. "They have an officer retiring, and figured it would be worlds easier to just ship us out quickly, than ta lollygag around with the locomotives."

"Oh certainly, and of all places, it is to Ft. Everfree, under the eyes of our newest princess, near Ponyville." Lotus replied grimly.

"My dearest lieutenant, are you trying to say you suspect that my promotion and subsequent reassignment are something less than a reward?"

There as an edge to Downy's voice that made the 1st Lt. hesitate before answering. While normally pleasant enough to deal with, Down Range was comparable to a river, one which you never knew where the white water rapids were going to be, and Lotus had no desire to become the focus of it. Still, they had an agreement of honesty between them, so with a little courage, she took the plunge.

"The timing is more than...questionable, considering the fact that you were being court-martialed at the time. if nothing else, their insistence for this was rather forced, which would indicate more than meets the eye."

"Mush," Downy growled. "I'm afraid that is a load of tosh. I don't think there's any question at all. This whole thing is a spot of trouble. Whatever I'm headed towards, it is definitely trouble, and of all places Ponyville, its a disaster of the day scenario, I'd be stupid to not see this as a way to get me to resign!"

Lotus felt a wave of relief wash over her. Downy was not as much of an idiot as she feared, but it led to a good question.

"Why am I still stuck with you than...if we are being honest, sir."

"That...don't know, probably mesh well, no one else really seemed to tag along with my ideas as much as you do, and honestly, your a great hammer when I need a little sense knocked in here and there."

"Then forgive me, sir. I should have realized you couldn't be totally unaware of the situation. it's just that you seemed abnormally cheerful for someone who knows he's being, as they say, set up."

"That's the thing Lot, I can either resign, curl up and cry, or stallion up and bite the bullet." Downy shrugged. "Think about it Lotus. Whatever's waiting for us there has got to be worlds better than a stockade. Besides.. I get to command a company!"

Downy squeed with anticipation as thoughts of heroic brilliance danced through his mind. iron Lotus found her self sighing as her own thoughts depicted slogging through mires, with manticores nipping at her heels.

"Still," Downy calmed down, "I do wonder why they didn't toss me into the brig, I mean it makes absolute sense."

"I think you would have preferred it." Lotus replied.

"Oh?" The reply was accompanied by a raised brow. "Is there something in the company's personnel records I won't like?"

"I am most assured there is." Lotus smiled tightly. "I've taken the liberty of transferring the summaries to your tablet. Rather easy to utilize it, than to delve through the hard copies. I do know you like your reading light when it comes to work. I can see you've yet to master the art of traveling light."

She gave a slight gesture to the porters standing by their luggage.

"Oh right! We've got a flight to catch!"

Hopping to his hooves, Downy gestured to the handlers. "Follow me boys. Time and flight waits for no pony. Roll out!"

"Captain D-Range?"

Downy grimaced at his new name, before offering a salute. "That's me." he acknowledged hastily. "Are we ready to go?"

"Yes, sir. As soo- the sun is that!"

The pilot spotted the caravan of porters wheeling multiple cart-loads of baggage with them.

"Oh, just our luggage...well mostly my luggage."

"Hey, wait a second! All weight for a flight has to be cleared in advance. You can't just trot up here at the last minute with a load like that and expect me to let you board! Half of that doesn't even seem regulation!"

Downy sighed inwardly. He expected something like this. Though the pilot is certainly one of the military's own, in the end the pilot was the final authority. Like a ruddy bureaucrat, this gave him an exaggerated opinion of his power. Fortunately Downy was a veteran of bureaucratic infighting.

"Well...Captain? As a fellow commander to another, you'll see that additional weight has been noted and covered in both fuel and cost. The luggage itself is actually lighter than the weight you were tasked with to begin with actually. Thus the balance more than favors you in the end, bringing a good shiny report of fuel conservation for those pencil pushers in your office. As well, if any extra poundage happened to come aboard, you can trust that expenses would be covered out of pocket."

"Look I was tasked with the set cargo allowed, the open weight is always there for any emergency, you can't expect me to-"

Downy dropped something onto the pilot's tablet. "Hey what are-"

"I suggest your study it carefully, Captain. I'm sure you'll see that everything's in order."

The pilot stared in silence, slowly lickinig his lips, which wasn't surprising. in fact, Downy found such a reaction as rather usual when a regular is suddenly confronted with a thousand-bit note.

"Well, must've been a clerical error and all," the pilot said, slowly shifting the tablet, and note, into his saddle. "surely they'll fix that later, so if you will, ship is ready for air to Ponyville."

"Good!" Downy nodded. "Now, if you can just show the porters where to stow my luggage, we can be under way."

Lazy Company File - #004

For those who would review my files, sometimes you may note, that I don't always regard my commander with stellar compliments. Please recognize that we are two separate ponies, with different modes of setting priorities. While we more than occasionally disagree, my noting of those differences is not intended as criticism, but rather an effort for completeness. Truthfully, I am the one keeping this record, which gives me certain advantages in stating my opinions and preferences, and while I shall do my best to keep my bias to a minimum, there is most assuredly a slanting where my own role in proceedings is concerned.

In truth, Down Range is just as extensive in his research as I am-once he actually gets around to it. Though my earlier concerns as a younger officer always bordered on worry with whether he was prepared to do his duty or not, I will note that he, surprisingly, will always plan time to keep himself ahead of the game as it were. As it were, the flight we are currently on allowed him more than ample time to complete his own preparations.

Speaking of time, you may have noticed that I hardly label the date and times of any event, as such things can become meaningless minutia, and that the news does a far more better job of recording any and all events, so be sure to check your local library or news archive if you wish for a much more succinct report.

Glancing up from his tablet, Downy noticed that Lotus had apparently fallen asleep in the ships bunk. In many ways, this wasn't surprising. There was rarely time to truly allow a soldier a moments rest, and when that time came, any good soldier took advantage of it, recharging their batteries as it were. Iron Lotus, for all the jokes Downy would make of her, he held the highest respect for her based upon her own experience, professionalism, and her honesty. Unfortunately, Downy found that he wanted to talk.

After a minor struggle with his conscience, he decided on a compromise.

"Lotus?" he said softly.

As fast as a whip crack, the nocturnes eyes split open, regarding Downy with their cat like gaze. It was a talent that always had Downy questioning whether Lotus truly ever slept.

"Yes, sir?"

"I hope it isn't a bad time."

"Certainly not, merely resting the eyes, sir. What can I assist with?"

Downy fought back a yawn, suddenly reminded of his own drowsiness. Leaning back, he massaged his temples gently.

"Just...talk to me Lot. Keep it formal too, no sirs here or anything alright." Downy regard Lot with a small smile. "I've been staring at these files for so long, they're starting to turn into a mish mash. What are your thoughts?"

Lotus sat up and began to mentally organize her own reaction to the assignment. It was far from the first time that Downy had asked for her opinion on key matters, though there was never any doubt as to who had the final responsibility for any action, or decisions. Still, Lotus did find it polite to know that Downy not only respected her counsel enough to ask for it, but would generally take heed of her advice."

"Ponyville is a rather self-sufficient town, numbering around a thousand ponies," she began slowly. "That in itself has little to do with our assignment, other than the potential of providing us with a bit of culture on our off-duty hours."

"What is most important is our need to tend to the Princess of Friendships tasks, as well as those of the element bearers," she continued. "There is also the general assignment of tending to the Everfree Forest, where we are stationed, and requires our general vigilance due to the menagerie of creatures contained within. Whatever the case may be, the army is actually required to travel beyond the perimeter of the forest once a week, which most of the creatures hardly ever tread near to begin with, thus creating a rather lax position. While it may sound like easy duty, I suspect that having that much free time on their hooves is not a good thing for the troops posted there."

"Which brings us to the subject of the legionnaires," Downy said grimly.

"Indeed," Lotus agreed. " it has never been a secret that with its rather open-door policy, the military is made up, to a large extent, of criminals who choose service as a preferable alternative to incarceration. After examining the personnel files of your command, however, one is forced to assume that this outpost has more than the expected percentage of...um..."

"Hard cases?"

"No. It goes well beyond that," Lotus corrected. "Even without reading between the lines, it is quite obvious that the company can be divided into two major groups. One, as you note, is comprised of those rougher elements who do not take easily to military life, regardless of what they signed up for. The second group is at the other extreme. if anything, they are pacifistic by nature, or choice-a trait which also makes them difficult or impossible to absorb into a normal military structure. I think, however, it is necessary to note that apparently all of your new command falls into one or the other of those groups. in short, it's my considered opinion that you've been assigned to a force comprised entirely of...well, undesirables."

"Myself included. Eh, Lotus?" Downy gave her a wry smile.

"Oh I would most certainly agree."

"I've gotta give it to ya for the analysis, but for one thing Lotty dear."

"Its Lotus, sir."

"Whatever, what is important, is that when you refer to them as falling into one of two groups...I'm not seeing any of the cohesion necessary for a group, either in the categories you mentioned, or in the company itself. It's a cluster of individuals with no sense of 'group', or of 'belonging.'"

"It was merely a label."

"Labels are a trap, Lot. One I can't afford to fall into. As near as I can tell, damned labels are what got the bulk of this pity party into a company labeled as a...what was that you said?"

"Undesirables."

"That! Losers, blighters, the whole lot. I get to put these hooves of mine into all that glop, and mold it the way I see fit, make them a group, a cohesive unit, and to do that I've got to see them as individuals first. Ponies, Lotus! It always comes down to people. Whether its business or the military, the ponies are the cogs that make this work."

"You do realize, sir, that not everyone in your command falls under the category of 'pony'" the butler commented pointedly.

"What, the nonponies? That's right, we've got three of em. Uh... they were...uh

"Two diamond dogs, and a yak."

Downy rubbed his chin as he spoke. "I'll admit, that of the nonponies, I'm surprised to find those two species in my command. I suppose it would have been too much to hope for a gryphon, or buffalo."

"The heavy hitters? I hear they are generally placed into the more hardy platoons within the army, you certainly won't see them out here."

All was quite except the sound of wind from outside, as the two ponies thought for a bit.

"Do you believe you can really pull this company together?" asked Lotus. "Do tell, sir, can such a collection of riff-raff come together as an effective unit?"

"It's been done before. Specifically the Devil's Brigade...the first Special Service force, which-"

"The Special Forces," Lotus finished. "I am quite familiar, if I might point out, I have an uncle there actually. Though that unit had a balanced mix of rejects along with crack fighting troopers, you are lacking the crack in your own unit."

"Touché." Downy laughed. "I figure it would be a mistake to argue military history with you." Okay. To answer your question, I don't know if it can be done, or to be honest, if it can be done by me. Come hell or high-water, I will give it all I've got though!"

"It is more than one could ask for, of you, or of anyone else." Lotus offered with a smile. "If there isn't anything else..."

Lotus allowed the question to drift in the air.

"Go ahead and get some rest Lt. Iron Lotus, I'm very thankful for your shared thoughts." Downy reached for his tablet.

Lotus eyed the tablet. "Should you not get some rest, sir? You'll want to be well rested when we arrive at Ft. Everfree."

"Hmmm? Oh. Sure...I'll get right on that once I do a little who's who checking on the settlement. I like to know what I'm up against, aside the obvious Princess, and Bearers of course."

Lotus merely shook her head, watching as Downy hunched over his tablet, digits scratching away at it. She knew all too well the kind of detail Downy required when researching business rivals-credit checks, educational background, family, police records- and assumed he'd settle for nothing less in this new campaign he was undertaking. It was sure to be weeks worth of work coming to the both of them, but she knew it was pointless to try and cajole Downy from his pat. She would do what any supporting officer would do. Offer support.

Still shaking her head, Lotus laid her self to rest, and dozed away the rest of the night.

Author's Note

** Hydraulically Articulated pNeumatic, Digits - A strap on set of æther controlled fingers that extend out from a pony's hooves in order to manipulate the finer objects in life.

Chapter 2 Meet and Greet

Lazy Company File - #008

It comes as no surprise that I found myself personally present at the assembly where my commanding officer, or CO to keep it simple, addressed his new command. It is expected as per protocol, and even though I knew each soldier's profile rather well, it was better to personally get to know them on a more intimate level beyond that of personal records. Papers did not share the minds and attitudes of a living being, and my CO certainly agreed with me on the importance of this subject.

Thus I prepared myself for duty, so that I can not only anticipate, but meet the needs of my CO's requirements. It certainly pays to be prepared, logistics is truly key in any situation no matter how small it may be.

Of course the short weeks before the assembly, I was already assisting him by gathering the required information necessary to understand each and every soldier in the company from an observers view. My ability to be where I need to be without being seen, allowed me an unbiased view of the troops interactions with each other.

Erratic, chaotic, and many more words would best describe the company of troublemakers. Yet, if Down Range is correct in his assumptions, these troops would be soft, and ready for molding into a proper organization. I only hope his assumptions are correct, for I fear he stands before the barrel of the militaries upper echelon, along with myself beside him.

Lazy Company's recreation hall, if it could be called that, was virtually deserted during the evenings. At one time it had merely been depressing in its lifelessness, but over time, the company had stopped picking up after themselves, and a litter of rotted, half-eaten food added a new air to the atmosphere. More simply put, it reeked.

Tonight, however, the room was full of life. The grapevine had it that the new company commander wanted to finally address the troops, and that roll call would most likely be taken to guarantee that everyone was in attendance.

Like all auditoriums in the military, there were certainly not enough seats to go around, even including the perching points on the pool table and cider barrels. This regrettably followed with the military pecking order among the company, spots being yielded to the stronger members of the troop. Though they certainly tried to maintain an air of boredom, these soldiers were nonetheless curious about the new commander, and that subject dominated the conversation, particularly among the younger recruits.

"Sure is taken'em long enough to call this meeting," one grumbled. "he's been in residence for almost a few weeks and hasn't spoken a word to anyone... just keeps sending that fine looking lieutenant of his with orders, or heading into town on errands."

"Probably an ego big enough to fit us all in."

"Who cares? Spoiled rich kid by how young he looks, anyway. Whadja expect in an outfit where commissions can be bought? Stupid nobles and their policies."

"What do you think he's going to say?"

This last comment proved to be too tempting to pass on for the company's first sergeant, who had been lounging nearby, eavesdropping on the 'conversation.' She was a tough mare, a mirror image of Fleur-de-lis, if she decided to pack on her weight in muscles, seated on the ground, her proportions, shapely and strong as they were, seemed comparable to any other mare, that is until she stood up. There was a reason many stallions respected her, it wasn't just her size, it was her ability to back up her own words, that made her a force to be reckoned with. The size helps though.

"I'll tell you what he's going to say," she announced with bombastic boredom.

"What's that, Ace?"

Aside from her rank and size, the first sergeant had a powerful aura of confidence in her movements that earned her deferential treatment and attention whenever she chose to speak.

"Like any CO, he'll give us the good ol'mantra as many others before," she said. "First, it'll be a joke. Probably a requirement written in the Officer's Manual that you have to open with a joke or something witty when dealing with us enlisted personnel. Next it'll be a promise about how the past is the past, and that he's going to make this the best unit in the military. Course, he won't say how, just that its going to happen, like how our Princess of Friendship whips her cute little flank around to solve all our problems, allowing us this most comfortable detail...so expect drills, inspections, and even curfews, Celestia forbid. After all that he'll up and give up on us and start tugging at the commands heartstrings to get a transfer out of here."

A few of the veterans within earshot grunted their agreement or simply grinned, giving off light hearted chuckles at the top sergeant's analysis. They, too, have certainly heard it all before.

"So we basically have two choices," Ace continued. "You can wait'em out, or you can snuggle up to him and hope he'll take you with him on the way out of this bog of stench."

Several moments of uncomfortable silence followed before one of the younger soldiers voiced their thoughts.

"Could there be a better detail out there to join...Sarge?"

Ace spat noisily upon the floor before answering. "All depends on what you think is a better deal. Standin' guard in a wild forest ain't no picnic, but sure as sugar beats getting shot at. Far as company goes..."

She threw a glance at the company's two 2nd lieutenants fidgeting in the opposite corners across the room and lowered her voice. "All officers have proved to be pretty much the same, none a lick good for much more than signing reports, or holding the company baggage. My thoughts, a company like this, grunts like us, well...folks ever hear of a Lazy Company?"

The sudden crash of chairs being knocked around and voices cheering with catcalls drew the attention of everyone in the room, at least momentarily. It was all the time it took for the company to realize it was only Dust Might on another one of her rampages and return to whatever they were doing before.

Dust Might, being the smallest soldier in the company, had a temper like a timid volcano, exploding at any provocation, real or imagined. In this case, it was always about her height, and comments towards it real or unreal always set her off.

"Right, so who lit the bugs fuse this time?" Ace mused, half to herself.

"Eh, who knows?" one of her listeners said. "Other day she jumped me in the chow line. All I asked was for a short stack of flapjacks."

"Yup, that's Dusty alright." The sarge nodded as the others chuckled. "Kinda surprised, with all the fighting the cream puff does, you'd think she'd be better at it, just look at that."

The small diminutive Pegasus known as Dust Might, chocolate coat of fur, and orange mane striped with a single line of blue, was currently shouting death threats and vulgarities, swinging her hooves blindly as her opponent kept her away from him with a single hoof upon her forehead. Surprisingly, much to the company's humor, it was working.

Ace frowned, shaking her had sadly as she finished her thoughts. "So Lazy Companies. The basket of oddballs, packed up and shi-"

"Ten-HUT!"

The booming voice of 2nd Lt. Metric Ton reverberated off the walls, course no one paid it much heed. He was rumored to be a reject from the Royal Guard, and had never rid himself of the more professional reflex of calling a room to order when a superior officer entered. Such traditions were practiced by the regular military, but course the "Lazy" Company found themselves an exception to this ruling. All his shouting did, was call attention to the fact that the new CO had just entered the room.

Trotting through the door with a form that was both relaxed and yet vibrating with restrained energy, the kelpie dominated the assemblage with his mere presence. His uniform was a glowing black uniform which accentuated his brown coat, seams edged with gold and silver lining and tailored to his wiry sculpted body. A wrist-sword with a polished pearl clamp sat on its hilt that hung at his side matching some of the colorful pearls that peppered his skin in intricate patterns and swirls, surely he would seem more comical if not for the icy gaze he leveled at the company. So unsettling was the stare and the silence which accompanied it that several veterans began to nervously rise to attention. The CO took no notice though, any more than he did of those who remained seated.

"Scum and garbage, tossers, and dunders," he said flatly without introduction. "I don't care for it...though it's clear most of you think that way in how you conduct yourselves."

The company suddenly became rather self-conscious of their ragged uniforms and the garbage strewn about the floor. A few eyes were turned toward the first sergeant as if to ask "What happened to the expected joke?". She ignored them, making a show of concentrating on the young CO's words as he continued.

"I'm well aware that you all lack a bit in your skills, your character traits that usually define the so-called perfect soldier. I'm also aware that a perfect soldier doesn't exist. I don't care bout the dream soldier, I want effective soldiers. 'Effective' mean getting the job done with whatever or whomever you have handy...not letting it all go to waste while you moan about what you haven't got!" he snapped sharply. "You've all focused on your faults, and shortcomings, so much so that you find it impossible to see your own strengths. That's why I am here."

He swept the room with a sharp gauze before continuing. "I am call sign Captain D-Range, and I am your new commanding officer if it wasn't to obvious. Since I've seen all of your files and know quite a bit about you, I figured it would only be polite to return the favor... even if it means having to share a little more than standard military protocol. I am Down Range, as you can see how cleverly the military has hidden my identity, I am the son of the owner of Range Works Munitions. As you might have guessed, I'm a bit rich."

A wave passed through the troops present, like cold ice being poured down ones back. "A bit rich," was quite the understatement.

"Now I know that many of you resent the idea of purchased commissions. I won't apologize for the system, or for using it to my advantage. Its a practice that was quite common during the old days of the Platinum Era, and their officers did quite well due to good up bringing."

"There is a tradition from the old times that I intend to implement here and now; that the commanding officer supplements the units under his command with his own finances." Downy held up a hoof to calm the collective gasps and exasperated comments rising form the troops. "I find military bureaucracy to be a pain. You order equipment and expect it never, request munitions and file forms in triplicate, all to be lost in the general minutia."

"Let me make one thing clear. I did not inherit my money. While I most certainly received a loan from my father, one I paid back in full plus interest. I was a multimillionaire before I was out of my teen colt years, and I did it by buying companies and corporations that others thought were losers, and making something of them." he allowed the company to ingest this bit of information. "They have golden ideas, ideas that the nobles and tops like to turn their noses up at as being foolish dreams. I see that here, I see gold, I see dreams that need the chance to be answered and it is exactly what I intend to do."

Downy waved his hoof across the congregation of boots on the ground, offering a scheming smile. "You're raw, and raw material can be refined, tempered, all of which requires job management, and if this company can't become effective, it will be my fault, not yours." Downy then waved to Iron Lotus, the blackish blue nocturne trotted over to stand beside him. Her golden mane shined brightly in contrast to her coat and leathery black wings, a military garrison cap helping to frame her face. "This is my 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, my 2nd in command. You've probably seen her around the base. I see her as my friend and confidant. I have a great deal of respect for her calm attitude, and would appreciate it if you treated her with a higher degree of respect than you would myself."

"Now to the final point before we go any further." Downy sat back on his haunches, hooves crossed. "We are independently wealthy through hard work and investments. I don't know what your plans are for retirement, or if you're saving any of your wages as of this day. I do know that if you aren't proper with your finances, you should be. Handling money is something we do well, and I hereby place my skills at the disposal of the company...lads, I will be using your skills and talents, however praiseworthy or dubious they maybe, and this will be to the benefit of all, so in return I do hope you will take advantage of mine in order to better yourselves, and Iron, if she approves. You folks will find that a set of portfolio stocks has been enable for any who wish to participate with investing their savings, or whatever portion of pay ya wish ta assign to that purpose. While I can't guarantee success, I've yet to have a portfolio lose money. No pony, dog, or yak is required to do this, but if you got a question that needs a thumping, well, 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, if you would display and summarize their prioritized piece of gear."

Iron Lotus gave a firm nod, stepping forward and flicking a set of small spectacles out with her right wing to settle upon the bridge of her muzzle. "I am 1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus, courtesy of your commanding officer, I present to you the æther* communications device, or æcomms." her other wing stretched out to present a tiny acorn-like device hanging from a small wire upon her wing thumb. "You will each be issued one primary, and one backup. They will enable you to stay in touch with each other and with the Headquarters at all times, and vice verse. The Captain and I will be available at any time within reason. Ensure that any communication past regular hours be based upon emergencies."

"Any dare to level a joke with the devices will answer to me. Do not test my patience." She bared her fangs at the company, leveling her cat-like gauze across each and every one of them before folding her wings in and turning about-face to then stand at the captains side.

"Showoff." muttered Downy.

"You're too nice." countered Lotus.

Clearing his throat, Captain Down once again took focus of the meeting. "While there might be a lot more to cover, it can wait. First I want you all to get an idea of who I was and what I had in mind for this unit." Gesturing to the two other company officers in the back of the room he said. "Officers will met with me and cadre members in my office once we're done here. For now, any questions?"

A low buzz of murmuring soldiers rose before a sharp voice floated up clearly from the back. "We heard the mayor putting in a petition for a color guard unit to be posted at Ponyville."

Downy cocked his head slightly in thought as he replied. "First I ever heard of it, I'll check into it first thing tomorrow. Off the top, I see no issue, a nice break from the forest duties I'd say."

"Umm...excuse me, sir?" Ace drawled. "I don't think you get it. Scuttle has it she's putting in for the Royal Guard to perform instead of us. Show off their pretty primped dresses in town while we muck about in the swamps...as always."

A low grumbling coursed throughout the unit. Downy taking note of it, his expression growing stern with annoyance.

"Well see bout that lass," he said firmly. "anything else that won't keep till the morrow?"

When only silence answered him, he relaxed. "Well then, one last note is that I want you all assembled and prepped to move out first thing in the morning. We're leaving HQ for a bit."

The unit groaned in unison. Many figuring the CO to be putting them on recon duty in the forest in order to get a measure of them.

"What? We getting the place fumigated?"

Downy ignored the snickers that followed the question which had been shouted anonymously.

"Worse, I'm having it all demolished." Came his reply which was quickly answered by stunned silence. "Now get packing, the Ponyville plaza is to be our home until everything here is completed. Troops will be selected as guards on a round-robin selection in order to ensure grounds security. Officers, may I have you all join me in my office."

Dead silence followed him as he left. To the troops, the new Ponyville Plaza was considered the ritziest, most expensive hotel in the town (being the only hotel in town). The few times a soldier could attempt to enter its cocktail lounge for a drink, ended with failure at both the prices and dress codes.

Since entering the room, Downy allowed himself a truly happy smile, one mirrored on his fellow officer.

"I see you're enjoying it as much as I." He commented.

The smile quickly left Lotus's face and she "harrumphed," raising her head high and marching away from him. "It was most adequate. Don't let it get to your own head though, Captain."

Author's Note

Æ (æ) is generally pronounced like A as in way ( at least to my ears).

All in good fun this is, all in good fun.

The company attitude has been established, sorry for the wait, not only am I still working away on new Roan rpg works, but I was also cutting a lot of text out from the dialogue.

Chapter 3 Top level Details

Lazy Company File - #11

In accordance to military courtesies, my employer did not have, nor did he request, any information regarding the lives of those under his command prior to their enlistment. I myself however, saw no reason to be bound by such tradition, for as I have said before, I am here to assist my commander, and traditions never lasted long anyway. With no sense of true obligation restraining me, I compiled a dossier on the individuals to whom we would be discussing terms with.

For the most part, this would be easy. A quick check through records and news items around the time and place of each soldiers enlistment provided me with a strong starting point for most of the searches. A few, however, required more extensive endeavors, and occasionally I found myself forced to resort to mere extrapolation and guessing. Such was the case of the two 2nd lieutenants my commander had inherited with his command.

"Good evening, Second Lieutenant Metric Ton, Second Lieutenant Gentle Strokes, have a seat please."

Downy had deliberately kept his office not only small, but Spartan as well. It was his belief that large meetings were a waste of everyone's time, except for announcements. Consequently there were only two visitor chairs in his retreat.

Gentle nodded her thanks and reached for one of the seats. She was a young Pegasus mare, most likely a recent graduate of cadet officers training. Auburn hair framed her petite face, her coat a soft lilac dressing her vaguely rotund...not fat, but rather broad across the rump, a paint brush accentuating her flank identified her talent along with the mixed colors seen upon the tips of her feathery wings.

Metric, the earth pony took a perfect parade-rest stance, his tan hide, and sandy blonde mane framing a chiseled muzzle, blue eyes peering out from within, barked out his response, his attitude signified by the mark of a heavy weight upon his own flank. At his outburst, however, Gentle abandoned her motion, electing to stand at rest beside Metric. Her grimace merely adding a wide grin to his face, one Downy took note of, recognizing the game of one-up that was nothing new to so many officers.

"Well then," he said. "I'll keep things short."

"I'm taking a shot in the dark here Metric, but your manner and your performance reports suggest your quite the disciplinarian...a by-the-book stallion. Eh?"

Metric shifted slightly as he answered with a loud and proud. "Sir, yes sir!"

"Right." The captain smiled. "So by the book it is...is it better to order the soldiers around, or is it better to lead by example."

"By example, sir!" Armstrong replied briskly, treading upon familiar military grounds.

"Then why haven't ya?"

There went the ground from right below Metric's hooves, the 2nd lieutenant now under fire found himself frowning, eyes wandering from their straight-ahead stare to look directly at the commander for the first time since the interview began.

"I...I don't understand, sir," he said. "I conduct myself in an exemplary manner as expected of an officer. To be the best of the best."

"Potential is there," Downy agreed, "but I think you're missing an important element. Most troopers don't want to be seen as a tight-assed, overbearing prick with a hero complex...which is what you seem to throw around in your attitude. If anything, this manner of yours is driving them away from proper military behavior because if that's what it means to be a soldier, than they don't want it."

Metric gaped like a fish, trying to reply but was cut off by the commander with a gesture.

"No talks, Metric. Think. We'll talk specifics much later. For now, if you can temper your manners with a little compassion, show that someone can be a bandbox trooper and still be a pony, then the troops will go with you anywhere, anytime, and not just because of orders."

Metric wrenched his gaze back to his guardsmen stare, nodding curtly as his only sign of acknowledgement.

"Now you, Lieutenant Gentle Strokes," Downy rounded on the smaller of the two. "We have ourselves a mirror opposite, while one all to harshly presents himself, the other plays the wall flower. Lotus, if you would."

Gentle squeaked in surprise, unable to duplicate Metric's distant stare, thus turning to meet the 1st Lieutenants glare.

"By the records, you are nearly nonexistent upon the training grounds, and that you allow the sergeants to run the company while you wander off with an art pad looking for new inspirations to draw." Iron Lotus paused, adjusting her glasses as she looked over her æther pad. "There is a time and place to express your love of art, and Captain Down Range and I do agree that it is not beneficial to stymie any talent of any soldier."

"Indeed Lt. Strokes, I like art, love it in fact, and I won't tell a soldier to stop pursuing their hobby after hours. I'd even tug a string here or there to help you get a showing if you felt confident enough to accept." Downy added.

"Sir, if I may." Iron leveled a glare at Downy who nodded in response. "Yes, though we are supportive of our soldiers, you cannot abstain from your duties, nor ride the sergeants coat-tails. They might be experts in their own right, they may believe they are the true hidden alicorns in Equestria, but their focus is, and will always be on the immediate duty, not the long term. That is your obligation lieutenant, and if we do not have proper unit cohesion, the entire base begins to crumble, and it brings all of us at the top, down with it. We are only as good as our troops, without them, we are merely fops with shiny pieces of metal to denote our position."

"I expect you to actually do your job, and become part of this company. Do I make myself clear?" Iron let loose a feral growl. "This goes to you as well Lieutenant Metric, to put it bluntly, stop acting as the south end of a northbound pony. Am I clear?"

"I...I will...Captain, ma'am!" / "Yes sir!...er...Ma'am!"

"Good, you will find that both the Captain and I will be very appreciative of your full co-operation in not only handling the troops, but improving interactions between us, we all need to be as equally informed of any situation as practical." Iron gave a curt nod towards Down. "Captain, is there anything else?"

"Certainly, we're the eyes, ears, and brains of the company, it means we function as a team, in a team. Reminds me actually..."

He wiggled a hoof between the two 2nd lieutenants in a stirring motion. "None of this competition, brothers and sisters in arms might be a thing, but we're the parents here, and I expect you to build a little more tolerance with your differences. They'll work out in each others favor if you just cooperate, so stop this envious rigmarole, I don't demand respect, I'm hoping it'll come with time. Just stop the paddy-hoovesis, before I force the both of you to hold up a stick together, with your foreheads in order to build a better relation."

He finally sat back on his haunches, making a shooing gesture at the two of them. "Now, get a cup-o-joe, mingle, and start figuring out what you have in common." He leveled a small smile. "Something besides your new commander being an unjust and demanding insufferable bitch, that is."

"Have a seat, Sergeant...Crap Game?"

"Go by Game, Cap!" the sergeant said, easing his rather large bulk into the indicated chair. " 'C.G.,' to my friends. Father had a whacked sense of humor, bout as good as his gambling for sure. How he got me after all."

"Well then, C.G. it is." Downy agreed, jotting a quick note down on his tablet. "seeing as how we're going to become some pretty fast friends over the next couple of months."

"How you figure that boss?" the sergeant frowned, suspicion in his eye. "No offense, but I don't see officers chumming well with us enlisted types."

"Oh no worries, just getting ahead of myself is all," came the reply as the captain shuffled a few of his notes. "That's just assuming your as much a crook and a schemer as I think you are."

The supply sergeant focused a glare towards Down Range, eyes all but vanishing into his portly face as he leaned back.

"You making a stereotype of me, Captain, remark like that just cause my marks are a set of dice? You sayin' you think all us...chancers are just thieves?" C.G. itched at the fierce bristly beard upon his face, which offset his cropped mane. A thick set of pilots goggles resting upon the Pegasus's forehead for a completed picture as he regarded his commander with a scowl.

"Hmmm?" Downy merely hummed, setting his notes aside. "Oh, of course not, Game, I was merely basing my assumption on the hopes that your files present you as well being clever. What do you think Iron?"

"I believe, any supply dealer in an outfit is more than likely supplementing their pay by partaking within...certain darker markets. Of course you could be wrong in your assumption Captain Range." the nocturne remarked.

"Well, of course, if I'm wrong, Crap Game here would have my complete and total apology."

Crap Game smiled broadly. "Well dang Cap! I don't get apologies from officer's every day now!"

"Beggin yer pardin, Sergeant," the commander interrupted, a crocodile smile upon his face, "I merely said 'if I'm wrong.' Lieutenant Iron Lotus, I'd like for you to obtain all the supply sergeants files, have the supply warehouse padlocked, and an item-by-item physical inventory plus audit performed. Then...Then well see if I need to make an apology."

The kelpie gave a cat like stare at the cornered mousey Pegasus with hunger in its eyes. The mouse nervously licked his lips, eyes darting from the commander to the door.

"I...well that won't be necessary, Captain," he said with a forced cheeriness. "Maybe...a few things might have slid across the counter without any filing, er I can see about scoping out the missing equipment sure as sugar is sweet sir!"

"C.G., you have me all wrong, it isn't what I have in mind at all!"

"Oh...uhh." C.G. hunched forward, whispering conspiratorially, ignoring Lt. Lotus as she examined her hoof in boredom. "I could work out a little profit-sharing ya know."

Downy laughed loudly, cutting the sergeant short.

"Crapgame, C.G. let me be par with ya, the message I'm giving, and what your taking is all wrong. I'm not shutting you down, or doing a shake up. I want your operations to expand, and I want to help you do that. Beginning with clearing out all that old stock in the warehouse right now!"

C.G. leveled a scowl at Down, years of playing the game tugging at his tail in suspicion. "How you figure that Cap? Mean, sure I like this open style of yours, but I see it like this, we clean the outfit, someone's bound to notice. Just what plan you got bout hiding an empty warehouse?"

"The Captain is merely enforcing guidelines from the Armies Manual Section 784, paragraph 38, which states and I quote: 'The supply sergeant may dispose of any surplus or outdated equipment deemed unnecessary by the commanding officer. This equipment will be disposed of by destruction, or the selling of said equipment'; as well as Section 797, paragraph 10: 'The commanding officer shall determine if any item of the company's equipment is suitable or unsuitable, and if found unsuitable, it will be declared as scrap for disposing of.' Now, as I have allowed myself to examine the equipment, and as I have informed the CO, it is agreed that the majority of the items in that warehouse are more suited to being in a museum than it is for a fighting force." Iron belted out smoothly.

"Sure thing... still leaves me with an empty warehouse though...er First Lieutenant." Crap Game said after recollecting his thoughts.

"Captain Down Range has provided, as courtesy, an arrival of equipment that can be expected within the next few weeks after construction is completed, which will more than fill the required space. As said, the Captain has taken liberty of upgrading the quality of the company's equipment at the cost of his own expenses."

"Then what am I here for?" asked the sergeant, leaning back in his chair to study the commander. "You got the money that you do, how's that gonna fit me in round here with you buyin' up the place? No place to keep a fat fool if you ask me."

Downy heaved a long sigh, like a father losing patience with a child. "C.G., you and I both know that not everything is on the market to buy. My bits, and my methods are fine when needing the easier necessities in military life, but I'm expecting that, form time to time, we'll need a few items that aren't sitting round in a store somewhere, if you understand. This is your part, as I see it, your my pipeline to the underground, a network of shady supply and demand, get it?

"Sure thing boss, damn, never figured I'd be brother to a kelp round here, not common folks you are." C.G. said with a smile.

"Afraid good buddies is more applicable for now," Downy corrected. "See, always have a set of strings I do, a few of these specifically are for you, my rules, not the military's."

"Oh, oh here it comes, dream was sounding a bit too good there."

"First, I don't want us being bit on the bum over the things you sold. Æther bolts will be deactivated and destroyed, folks might call them antiques now, but a magical bolt will still pop a whole in anything, and I'd rather it not be us...or the local police, for that matter." Downy steepled the joints of his mechanical fingers together. "Can't play innocent if we're the only source in town for explosive bolts and deadly magical hardware. Double goes for the new gear, including the æcomms, hand devices, and vehicles. If a door needs opening, than exceptions are alright, but of all our things, the communication units stay put. Last thing I want, are ears on our private lines. Trust me, this is all in your best interest Sergeant, we don't need anyone hearing you and I having a chat now do we?"

C.G. groaned in agreement. "Spose your right Cap, cramps things a bit ya know?"

"Second, money made from these sales go to the company fund. Now, I don't mind if you do a little skimming, I expect it, its a lot of hard work, more than what the military is paying you for, so I expect it and consider it fair reward for devoting your efforts and time to helping. Be reasonable though, and keep the damn receipts! Just remember, I have a fair idea of market prices. Cross me, take more than you've earned, and I'll cut you cold."

"Cut me from what, Cap?" Crap Game challenged. "Wouldn't break my heart to be transferred."

"Oh, transfers not on this docket lad." Downy smiled at the older stallion. "I'm talking lessons. You see, C.G., you're just a small time player, a chiseler and a hustler. I'm going to show you the big boy's games, up you a few leagues, from the minor to the majors. Show you what it takes to bankroll all you'll need for seed money once your enlistment's up...Deal?"

Ace waltzed through buildings as if they were not there. She's been known to stop the Ponyville locomotive on its tracks with just a passing glance. Evaporates water with just a stray thought. Speeding bullets provide her with a stationary reference points and gives alicorns permission to exist. If that wasn't confidence, she was in the wrong part of history then.

Her hoof knocked upon the door, loud thumps alerting the commander within of her above god like presence. She quickly smoothed her uniform, hoof running past her flank where an Ace of Hearts sat upon it. Her coat and hair exactly like that of the well known model Fleur-de-lis, though packed with plenty of hidden muscles.

"Enter, First Sergeant Ace, and please have a seat." Captain Downy said, giving Ace a mere cursory glance before returning to his tablet. "Sorry to keep you waiting, but for various reasons I wanted you to be my last interview."

"No problem, sir." The ranking noncom shrugged, then sunk into the indicated seat. "If there's one thing I've learned in the military, it's how to wait for officers."

Downy rose a brow, acknowledging the blatant dig. Setting his tablet down he began by saying. "Seeing as it's late, we're tired, and I'm looking to hit a bit of the fire water, I'll keep things short and succinct." He leaned back in his chair, crossing his hooves. "What do you see as the biggest issue facing me in this company."

Ace let loose a low whistle, her eyes widened slightly, brow raised. "That's a rough one, sir." she said, a broncs accent hinting in, shifting lazily in her seat. "I really don't know where to start. If you've got smarts, you don't need me to tell you the company is a pit, top to bottom, inside and out. I couldn't tell you what stands out."

"Oh, there's one problem that stands out like Celestia's sun shining butt itself," Downy said firmly. "Fact is, it's the one that I'm not sure I can handle."

"Ah, what's that, sir?"

"You."

Ace sat up in her chair, a frown dominating her expression, bordering on seething anger. "Me...sir?"

"That's right. Now, don't get me wrong. You've got a strong confidence, a level head, and a powerful will, sergeant. Waist above any of the other personnel I've inherited. Just from your record, and from my own seconds observation during the previous weeks. You're an excellent leader, easily as good, maybe better than I." Downy shook his head sadly. "Trouble is, your a negative Nancy lass. You'd say a pig couldn't fly, then when one did, you'd say it could never come back down to the ground again."

Ace fumed for a little bit, before pulling her lips back into a small smile. For Downy, if he wasn't so impressed by her size, he'd have found this adorable, unfortunately circumstances required a firm attitude.

"Fine, you got me there, Captain." She gave a small shrug, then noted, her smile wasn't being returned.

"I can't have that lass, not in my company, and not as my top sergeant. I need to turn this company around, to develop every soldier in this command so that they have a better opinion of themselves." Downy tapped the tabled with a mechanical digit. "I can't do that when my main mast, my top sergeant, keeps telling them they'll never be more than dirt. It's hard enough enduring a two-front war: Headquarters keeping us down, and with the troops themselves. I won't have a third front by picking a fight with you as well."

Ace leveled a gaze at him. "We talking a transfer, sir?"

Downy grimaced, running a hoof through his short mane. "I'll admit, the possibility is there, but then, I'm admitting my own defeat, even if you're the only one I've seriously considered it for. It's too easy, like quitting, and I hate easy roads when it comes to a challenge. I admire your abilities, Ace, you've a strong knack for leadership. We need to work together, with each other, not in confrontation. The way I see it, we're going to need some major changes on your part."

Ace chewed on her tongue in though before answering. "Honestly, Captain, I'm not sure it would be so easy. Old habits ya know, knot easy ta break, and I've been the way I am for a long time."

"Not forcing any guarantees, specially from a one time roller derby star." Downy stated earnestly. "I'd be content with ya being more amicable to giving it a try. Luna's blessing...I hate playing amateur psychologist, but...most of the cynics I've had to handle, the hard-core "Who cares?', they care a lot. Just at some point they've lost all reason to care, mostly from hurt, and I mean real hurt, broken trust. So bad they won't let themselves believe in hope anymore. Does that apply to ya, I couldn't say. Just give this a chance, trust your brothers and sisters in arm...and trust me to do what is best."

Silence hung in the air for a moment as both share din the awkwardness of such unexpected closeness. Downy finally relented, sitting back in his chair to ease the tension.

"Just...think it over Sergeant Ace. If, in the end, you feel that the company has done you wrong, let me know and I'll arrange for your transfer to wherever you wish to go."

"Thank you, Sir," Ace said, rising to her hooves and saluting. "I'll give it some thought."

"Ace..."

"Sir?"

"Give yourself a new chance, too."

As Ace left the room, Iron turned to focus upon Downy, stepping out from the shadows of the offices dimly lit corner.

"Sir, I would suggest you get some rest. With the relocation set for tomorrow, it would be wise to have some sleep." She reached out with a wing and easily slid the captains tablet away from him.

"Fine, Lotus...I didn't figure these meetings would have to be such an issue, corporate boards have less tension."

"I hardly see a difference honestly, sir, but there is a rhythm that corporate has, which the military doesn't follow, though it behooves me to say it, I find it admirable that you are picking up the new tune so well." Iron said, pushing Downy out of his chair and steering him towards the door. "You did well with handling the 2nd Lieutenants, very well. I would also point out, that both Sergeant Ace, and Sergeant Crap Game, are willing to be amicable."

"Celestia only hopes, Iron, Luna too...this could make or break any career in the service."

"True, be that as it may, you have brought in quite a level of...discorded conduct unbecoming of a by the book officer, conduct I think might truly be needed in this case." She gave a small chuckle. "Impressive, whether it is your luck, or fate, that is something to be decided upon in the morning."

"I get it, I get it, ya don't need to keep shoving me." Downy grumbled. "The top sergeant, Ace, did Salute me."

"Quite an achievement, if I may say so."

"Then there is Gentle Strokes, that lieutenant who wants to be an artist, she requested that I'd do an art pose for her, figured it was a simple portrait...bit I'm surprised she wanted a nude study."

"Did you accept?"

"Nay, told her I'd think about it. Flattering though, considering the other subjects she has a choice to work on..."

Lazy Company File - #12

Though he is my commanding officer, and in a way, my friend. I didn't have the heart nor the courage to tell him, honestly. Rather, I saw more humor than anything in allowing him to discover an important piece of information on his own. Specifically in the case of Lt. Gentle Strokes, that she is a landscape artist...or rather, she was, until now, that is.

Chapter 5 Sowing the Fields

Lazy Company File - #026

With my CO making his rounds throughout the town, visiting some of the central figures of Ponyville. I was tasked with ensuring the troops conduct were polite at best, for their sake and that of the hotel. It is surprising how amicable a soldier will be when threats are made against not only their leave pass, but the need to clean an entire hotels worth of lavatories.

It’s not to say that I wish to be their focus as an antagonist, but where Captain Down Range was the firm voice of discipline and advice, I myself would have to navigate the field of battle as his eyes and ears, seeking out trouble, and putting the flames down before they grew beyond our control.

I would certainly have a quite a tale to share with Downy Range, once the day was over, and we had ourselves a chance to share notes, thoughts, and complaints.

The nocturne, 1st Lt. Iron Lotus, peered up from her work, as a lanky unicorn entered into her makeshift office within the penthouse, followed by a kelpish mare.

"Lieutenant Lotus, ma'am, I won't have it, I won't stick with this fish monger any longer, after all the accusations she keeps tossing at me!" shouted Trick Step, wiping a lock of his green mane away from his eyes, its color balanced with his reddish orange coat, a raven set upon his flank. "I want a different partner, I mean, there are still crew members who haven't been assigned yet, and since the Captain isn't here..."

"I see," Lotus interrupted with a level gaze at Trick's partner Specialist Kim Chi. "Is this an issue that the both of you find yourselves in agreement?"

"It would seem so, ma'am." Kim replied. A full head shorter than Trick, she was a smaller built mare, her hair done up in an oriental pony tail, that looped her long locks around to link back into the knot. Her silver coat contrasted with her pitch black mane. Pearls peppered her body in swirling patterns like a flowing river which encircled the set of hanafuda cards upon her flank. "Our personalities and values are incompatible. I'm afraid that any permanent association between the two of us would prove most detrimental to the operation of the company."

"I understand." Lotus nodded towards the mareasian. "Please, have a seat, both of you."

The two soldiers realized the difference between commands, and initiation. This was certainly the former as noted by the touch of ice in Lotus's words.

"Now please, do expand upon these incompatible differences in values if you may." Lotus adjusted her spectacles. "Please, be honest, I find...batting around the bush to be an unnecessary waste of my time."

Both ponies glanced at each other, reluctant to be the first to voice their complaint. It was Trick who finally decided to break the ice, or at least chip away at the glacial monstrosity set before him.

"She's always got something against me, talkin' down on me and stuff!" he whined. "Just cause she knows some big words..."

Lotus held up a restraining hoof. "I do not believe the size of your partner's vocabulary should have any affect upon your person, nor her vocation if that is also an issue."

"It's not that!" Trick grumbled, flushing slightly. "She called me a crook-to my face!"

"I believe, I said you were a petty thief-and you are!" Kim corrected earnestly. "Anyone who would jeopardize the unity of the company for bits-and-bales-"

"There! There it is!" Trick shouted with satisfaction. "How can I deal with her, when she-"

"Private Trick Step, if you would please." Lotus cut in like a whip crack. She paused, allowing the two soldiers to stew in silence before continuing. "Specialist Kim Chi, would you please clarify what it means when you accuse Private Trick Step of being a petty thief?"

Kim Chi glanced at the lieutenant, then adjusted her gaze to focus on the ceiling. "It is a thief, who in their criminal activities, takes unnecessary risks for a disproportionate potential of rewards."

"Criminal activities!" Trick hopped up.

"Sit down, Private Trick Step!" Lotus ordered, keeping her eyes upon Kim Chi. "If you can abstain for but a moment, and listen, you will learn something very important."

The bushy haired soldier sank into his seat, and the lieutenant continued her line of questioning.

"If I am to understand correctly, Specialist Kim. Your objection to Trick is not that he steals, but rather, it is the scale of his operations."

"That is correct, Lieutenant." Kim Chi replied with a small smile.

"Then pray tell, to what kind of reward do you figure as justification for...oh what was the phrase? Ahh yes...criminal activities?"

"No less than a quarter of a million bits, ma'am." the mare answered firmly without hesitation.

Trick Step stared at her, mouth agape in surprise. "What! Qua...a quarter? That is bull-"

"Hmm, of course," Lotus replied, ignoring Tricks exasperated shouts, "a million may do better, perhaps three million?"

"Certainly." Kim nodded, locking her gauze with Lotus's.

Trick's fish out of water impression was beginning to improve, as his head swiveled back and forth to stare at both mares.

"Wha...what in Tartarus are you talking about?" he demanded at last.

Kim shook her head with a sigh, breaking off her staring match with Lotus. "What Lotus is speaking of, with polite indiscretion, is my involvement in the matter of embezzlement involving several million bits."

"It was never proven in the justices’ court," said Lotus.

Kim offered a weak smile. "Paper trails, marvelously easy to burn, aren't they?"

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Trick paled. "Three...million?"

"I don't actually have it." Kim grimaced, ignoring Tricks squeak at the large number. "It was...absorbed by, shall we say, bad investments."

"Investments?"

"It would be a term for gambling debts, if I am not mistaken." Lotus informed Trick.

"Bwa?"

"Well then, now that both parties have established a better understanding of each other." Lotus gestured with her wings to both soldiers. Kim held a rather inscrutable expression, while Trick continued to yearn for the deep blue sea with his gaping mouth. "The Captain and I did not randomly select names. We ensured that each team would have something they can learn from each other."

Lotus folded her wings. "Kim, you need to enjoy the world around you a little more, and Private Step here, is certainly the stallion to show you how to enjoy things for its thrills. As for you Trick Step, working with Specialist Chi, is done so with the hope that you will raise your goals in life, and to stop shooting for the lowest hanging fruit. It would be more beneficial to pluck those at the top, for they always taste better. Such skills will be very preferred for your field activities."

"Wait, wait, are you accusing me of being a thief too!" Trick bristled.

The lieutenant fixed him with a fanged grin. "I was hoping things could be a bit more amicable, but, Private Trick Step, it is noted that a number of personal items have gone missing from company individuals."

"You can't blame that on me! The locks in this hotel are the pits! I could go through any of'em without even using magic!"

Kim clopped herself in the face, hard, groaning, while Lotus leveled a raised brow at Trick.

"Really...well then Private Trick Step?" The lieutenant said with sudden interest. "Do you have the ability to teach this to the other soldiers?"

"Hah, does Celestia love cake!" the soldier beamed. "As I said, anyone could do it!"

"Well then," Lotus said casually. "I shall make an announcement and have any interested parties report to you for lessons."

"Ah shucks Lieu-"

"Outside your room."

Trick quickly paled. "My....my room?"

"Indeed, your room. You shall teach them how to handle a variety of locks-doors, suitcases, and you can do so by utilizing your room and your own personal effects as the source of their practice."

"But..."

"Of course, if there is anything in your gear that might have...'strayed' in over the past few weeks, it would be most advisable to have it 'stray' right back to their owners before you begin the lessons. Wouldn't you agree?"

Trick again pined for the open ocean, the poor stallion mistaking his life goals for that of a beached fish.

"Well come now partner." Kim chuckled, tugging him from his chair. "We have been outflanked this round, so we should prepare to do a little lost-and-found work. I believe the rest of the company will appreciate the kind gesture."

Many of the company's pairings were accepted with no complaints, but many others were quite turbulent, even strange. The strangest of all came about in the hotels cocktail lounge. Down Range would certainly be regaled of the colorful tale by Iron over a drink early the next morning.

As animals congregate at watering hole, so too did the troops flock to the cocktail lounge to mingle and relax. A smattering of civilians were certainly in attendance, some drawn by curiosity, others mostly surprised to see so many uniforms in a fixed location such as the hotel. The two groups steadfastly ignoring each other for the most part.

Not that the soldiers were unaware of the civilians, mind you. Much of the loud raucous banter and all of the roughhousing that had been developing within the group lately was left upstairs. They were expected to be on their best behavior, and with the promises made by Captain Down Range, the troops have done well to keep their boots clean, especially in the presence of the civilians. Of course no soldier wished to lose their lounge privileges, for it isn't often that one can drink in an establishment fit for the elite.

Unfortunately, the early afternoon found trouble in the air. A trio of ponies were perched at the bar, and seemed to have their minds set on causing a disturbance. To best describe them, is to say that they were at the tender age of too young to be responsible, yet too big not to be taken seriously. At best guess was that these were graduated delinquents with nothing more to do. Their ears pierced, and hair all too garishly punk in style. Honestly though, street toughs generally have a certain survival instinct, however loud they may be at times. Long after the loss of childhood belief in one's own invulnerability, where wits are clear and able to discern safe roads, to hazardous situations. Sadly these three were of the boastful invincible types.

They ushered forth a forced hilarity so easily recognized in a group vying for troublesome attention. Their heads together, sharing whispers, all the while keeping their eyes peeled for a specific table or person, then suddenly exploding with gales of laughter, loud enough to dangerously rock back and forth on their stools. When none would take the bait, they would settle upon new victim and repeat the process, growing louder each time.

The soldiers did well to ignore the forced theatrics, but without exchanging words, all knew that something was going to have to be done with the interlopers. The problem was, no one seemed willing to make the first move. Not that they were afraid of the youths. While the noisemakers were healthy enough creatures to give a good one-to-one brawl, the company outnumbered them sufficiently enough to easily toss them out onto the streets, a serious consideration that would have the media on the soldiers heads.

The soldiers have accepted that garnering media attention is not only bad for publicity, but for paychecks and R&R time. Even worse was the presence of the 1st Lt. Iron Lotus, offering hidden acidic gazes at the childish trio. So as one, the company tightened their grips on their drinks and refused to acknowledge the taunting from the bar, hoping all the while that the management would intercede before things passed the point of no return.

Then Dust Might walked in.

The world seemed to freeze, with even Iron Lotus taking a moment to mouth a silent prayer to the diarchy of Equestria. If it had been a western, now would be the time that somepony would shout "Fetch the marshal! We got trouble!" Being real life though, they did the next best thing.

"Dust Might!"

"Yo, Dust Might! Over here!"

"Got a seat for ya, join us, have a drink on the house!"

The little trooper stopped in her tracks, ears bristling in reaction to the sudden eruption of invitations from her teammates, trying so desperately to head off the inevitable.

Sadly, it was all in vain.

"HEY, DIDN'T YOU READ THE SIGN. GOTTA BE THIS TALL TO RIDE!" one of the trio slapped the bar counter.

"HA! GOOD ONE!"

A dead silence came from everyone else in the room as the small Pegasus turned her head slowly towards the noise, eyes somehow turning reader with bloodlust.

"OH, LOOKY! SHE'S GONE MAD, CAREFUL THE FLYING TICK MIGHT BITE!"

The company as a whole, held their breaths in terror, watching as the littlest trooper began to stalk grimly across the room toward her tormentors. It was a tradition to not interfere in someone else's fight, but, for all her comic fierceness, Dust Might was family, and no one wanted to see their littlest sister get hurt. There was no doubt in anyone's mind what the outcome of such a brawl would be, since it was doubtful that Might could hold her cool while taking on the three loud mouths, much less all at the same time, which was clearly her intent.

Chairs scraped quietly along the floor as the company struggled with their decision. The only thing that was clear, was that if Might got hurt, the trio would find it impossible to leave the lounge in one piece, public relations be damned.

"Might?" rumbled Yasir's voice at once rasping and melodic. "Captain says, if you bust place up, you pay...all damages."

The littlest soldier pivoted around, eyes seeking the highest in command to protest such a charge. As she searched, her opponents looked at the figure between them and their intended prey.

Yaks of Yak-Yakistan are impressive if encountered by the light of day, similar in build to the Buffalo of the south west. In a dimly lit lounge, with low ceilings, Yasir's movements were comparable to a wall, which decided to walk up to your own stool...if a wall had a large misshapen head, massive horns, and a rough dark brown coat of thick fur.

The trio stood as one, only to discover they had already done the act without thinking when the wall appeared. To explain, they became aware that they were already standing... Yasir was really that large!

"Er...you mean, she's with you?" one of them managed to say.

"Uh, he means," the other injected, "if we fight her, we have to fight you?"

"Oh, Might?' No...She not need my assistance. Much meaner...lot meaner!"

The trio, as one, swallowed hard and looked towards Dust Might again.

"Need advice?" Yasir pressed eagerly. "Leave, no get hurt. If stay, then somebody get hurt...maybe terrible."

The sincerity and concern in both the Yak's voice and expression was easily read by the trio. Suddenly aware of their mortality, the cowed youths quickly deposited some money upon the bar and made a hasty retreat before Dust Might could catch Iron Lotus's eye.

After the "Dust Might in the Lounge" episode, it was thus only natural that she and Yasir be partnered. The full effect that the fiery little Pegasus and the gentle giant of a yak would have on each other was not even suspected until later that evening. Unlike the lounge incident, there was no foreshadowing or warning of the mine that was to be stepped upon.

For the soldier that wanted to relax, read, or enjoy a quiet conversation, there was no better place than the Plaza restaurant. It was more spacious than the hotel rooms, its lights offered a calm atmosphere, and it had fine taste in its cuisine. Many soldiers could be seen within, and that was what Ace was looking for when she stopped for a late night cup of coffee and relaxing conversation before turning in.

She scanned the room with her mug floating beside her, spotting Yasir poring over a stack of papers.

"Yasir!" she said, sashaying over to his table with a practiced ease, so much so she hardly ever noticed she did so these days. "How are things between yourself and the runt? Won't let you read in the room?"

The Yak gazed at her with black marble eyes, regarding her for a moment. "Ace, no call her runt. She does not like."

"What? No offense. I get the runt's sensitive bout-"

"No...call...runt!" Yasir growled, getting to his hooves.

"Cool it, Yasir," she cautioned. "What's bugging you, anyway?"

"YOU CALL RUNT, SHE HEARS, SHE GET MAD. YOU FIGHT, MAYBE HURT. NO MORE CALLING HER RUNT!"

The whole room was watching the confrontation of the company's titans now, and the top sergeant was suddenly aware of her status and authority being challenged.

"Look, Yasir!" she growled back. "Nobody tells me how to talk-not! If I call Dust Might a runt, I will...and no-"

The Yak slammed his head against hers, sending her sprawling backward head over hooves. The rest of the room stared in stunned silence as the supposed pacifist among them loomed over their fallen sergeant, trembling with fury.

"I WARNED, I SAID, NO CALL RUNT!"

Ace slowly rose from the floor, rubbing her forehead. Long has it been since she was challenged physically, the sergeant cracked her neck, pumping her forelegs.

"I believe this is my dance!" she growled, suddenly reaching for the yak.

The 1st Lieutenant adjusted her uniform, letting forth a long sigh when she heard the pounding of the suite's door, it angle of sound meaning only one pony could be the perpetrator.

"Come in, Dust Might." she called as the assault continued.

The diminutive Pegasus was kind enough to open the door, as opposed to going through it.

"First Lieutenant! Did you know that my partner is over at the infirmary, counting his newly regrown teeth! That the doc says he'll be out of action with a minor concussion?"

"Believe me, I am well aware of the situation."

"And what of that nag Ace, you know what she did! With her bare hooves!"

"I do."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

Lotus regarded her carefully. "Nothing."

"No-...But...she-"

"Has chosen not to bring your partner up on military charges. Thus doing nothing seems to be the best outcome."

"Ch...charges? I...I don't understand, Lieutenant er, ma'am." Dust Might wilted in confusion.

"Dust, please, sit down." Lotus gestured to a seat with her wing. "Understand that, if I were to take official notice of what happened, then I'll have to acknowledge all the eyewitness accounts of Yasir striking Sergeant Ace... an attack which ended when she body slammed him into the ground...knocking him cold, in self-defense I might add. I don't want to do that, and so unless that nag, as you've called her, decides to press charges, I'm willing to ignore the whole event, and I feel the Captain would agree."

Dust ground her teeth fiercely for a moment, then growled. "No, no way, Yasir is the nicest soul in this company, harmony with an H. He wouldn't take to offing Ace like that, no sir!"

"Dust...let me ask you." the nocturne sighed. "Would you rumble with Ace?"

The tiny trooper grimaced, shaking her head. "Oh no, no way, I'd rather buck an apple than tangle with an ursa in pony flesh," she admitted. "Even if I kept my cool and remembered my lessons, she'd peel me like a grape. That's one mean mare, sir er ma'am."

Lotus nodded sagely in agreement. "Unfortunately, that is the substance of this confrontation."

"Sir?"

"Dust Might, it would seem that Ace, was referring to you, regarding your height, and Yasir was terrified that, if she spoke out about you while you were around, you would choose to confront her, and possibly be gravely injured."

"Ahh, shucks. You can say that again. Why, she could..." Dust froze as the implication sank in. "Wait...wait Yasir, old Yasir did that...for me?"

"According to accounts. It seems he figured he had better odds against our Sergeant Ace. Of course, he doesn't have your training. He did show guts though, fortunately we can take that as a figurative statement, as opposed to a literal one."

Dust Might shook her head. "It don't cut it against an earthquake, I know that for a fact!"

"He did it to protect his partner," Lotus reinforced. "I might suggest you consider the same."

"Ma'am?"

"Dust, do consider this. Yasir, who has never raised a hoof in anger before, is fighting to protect you from your temper. If you cannot control yourself for your own sake, you must instead, think about his, before you fly off the-"

A gentle knock at the door interrupted them. With a polite summon from Lotus, the company's first sergeant eased into the room.

"Evening, Lieutenant, Private Dust Might."

Dust Might assumed the polite greeting with the warmth of an icicle, Lotus herself, remained unruffled.

"Good evening Sergeant Ace," she greeted. "I assume you are here about Yasir?"

"Er...no actually. I wanted to speak to Dust Might. Troops said she was here."

"Well, ya found me, whaddya want?"

Ace winced slightly. "Well, Dust, I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"...what?"

"I'm sorry...yeah. I've been thinking a bit about what happened, and truth is, I pushed the line, broke it even. Easy to say no offense, ya know, but...well, guess I just never thought bout how the teasing bugs ya. Dust, if anyone should know it, feeling needled bout looks or size...it's me. I didn't think better, and of all things, I caused our teddy bear ta slug me, so just...so yeah, sorry, I'll try to watch it in the future."

"I...thanks Ace, I really do appreciate it. I think Yasir is the one who needs apologizing...from both of us I think."

Ace offered a small demure smile, Iron herself suddenly struck by how much of a starlet the mare could have been, if she hadn't enlisted. "No hard feelings then?"

Dust Might watched as Ace extended a hoof, then quickly accepted it, shaking it solemnly.

"That's all I wanted to say Dust, figure, we could get a drink, washing the slate with a bit over a brew, and share a few size jokes?" she offered a small chuckle.

"I'd like that, could do that now, after saying heya to Yasir, Lieutenant?"

"Move along soldiers, I need to prepare for a small meeting with the Captain, so that I can be informed of his recent meetings." Lotus made a shoeing motion.

The two nodded, leaving the nocturne to prepare for her meeting with their CO. All the while her ears picked up the minor conversation they were having.

"Heard you were pretty good in a fight when staying cool." said Ace.

"Sure, comes with having four older brothers..." a minor pause came from Might before "what didja mean bout buggin, and needling me?"

"Ahh Dust, I was-"

"I'm just kidding ya, you’re paying for the drinks though."

Downy entered into the suite, and regarded Lotus with a curt nod, one she responded to in kind.

"So how were the meeting?" she asked. "I would hope that things went well overall?"

"The Mayor has proven to be a sharp minded individual, respectfully." he leaned back in his chair. "Takes real grit to still be mayor here after all this place has been through."

"It is my pleasure to welcome you to Ponyville Captain Range." Mayor Mare said jovially, side stepping a panicked mare galloping by with stacks of papers. "Though I must say, it is a surprise you waited so long."

"Apologies ma'am, but I found it most important to take account of the troops and the base, both of which were in a dire need of fixing." Captain Down offered a curt nod. "I hope you don't mind."

"Oh no, not at all, it is good to hear you are seeing to the need of the fort, and its people." the mayor chimed in, leaning over to give a quick hoof stamp upon a floating set of papers. "I would be gravely disappointed if you came here first thing, all pomp and show. My apologies as well, it is always busy here."

"Hah, a show horse really doesn't do me well." Down laughed. "Mayor...uh."

"Mayor Mare, please, I know." she offered a grin. "Who names their child after a position in government, could you imagine me working anywhere else?"

"Certainly an oddity!" laughed Down. "So, pleasures out of the way, I have come with a minor worry from my troops."

"It must be in regard to the color guard." the mayor hummed. "Unfortunately the papers were sent months ago, and accepted, I could not turn away the Royal Guard, especially in regards to Twilight...but."

"But?"

"A cooperative effort between the Royal Guard, and the Royal Army would certainly put quite a show for the coming festivities, but it also requires that your troops...shape up." she leveled a stare at Down.

Downy sighed. "I understand that, under previous command, this company has lapsed into unprofessionalism, but I intend to shape them up into a cohesive unit, as I told them, I won't seek out the fabled golden toy soldier, I only ask that they present their best, and I hope that I can garner the respect of the Royal Guard in doing so."

"Perhaps a competition." Mayor Mare adjusted her glasses in thought. "Yes...perhaps, even using it to garner more favor and light for Ponyville, Celestia knows, we need more respect from the lords up on the mountain."

"I'll see to it that the troops will present themselves as a shining example of military harmony." Down affirmed. "Will that do?"

"Time will certainly tell Captain, time will tell, but I do accept the terms." Mayor agreed. "Though I am an easy mare to discuss such things with, you'll find the local police to have bit of a bur in their hides, due to past....occurrences."

"Anything I should know?"

"The chief is a tyrannical old goat, though he has his heart in the right place, unfortunately laws from the lords have sadly made things difficult for him, along with budget cuts. The whole department has been turned into a poor reflection of its former glory." the mayor sighed. "He still bends the rules of the lords where he can, paperwork and all, but unfortunately he'll feel that your position threatens his own in terms of the political power balance."

"I see, well then Mayor...uh...Mayor Mare, I thank you for the polite discussion." Down Ranged adjusted his cap between the fins of his ears. "Perhaps, I can keep things smooth between the PD and my company."

"Perhaps, Celestia willing, perhaps." Mayor Mare replied.

"Well, she certainly sounds like a mare with a good head on her shoulders." Lotus nodded. "Would it be, if only, that our lords and ladies of the high court could have such noble intentions."

"Sure, perhaps if we convinced the elements to harmonize em all." Down offered with a chuckle.

"So then, the police was every bit of trouble as the Mayor predicted?"

"Who boy..." came his reply.

Chief Little, contrary to his name, was a sizable earth pony who would look more at home pacing the sidelines of a hoofball game than sprawled behind a desk. His brown mane was close-shaved, in an unsuccessful effort to hide his receding hairline, accented by his pumpkin orange fur, striped with blue accents. The rolled-up sleeves of his wilted white shirt were tight around his forelegs, showing no trace of fat. His smile was difficult to differentiate from a scowl and clenched jaw failed to completely disappear...and he was certainly not smiling now.

If anything, his expression held all the warmth and affection one normally reserves for the deposit left on one's new carpet by a puppy, which would be a generous interpretation of his feelings for the slim figure in black who had come to roost in his office.

"Now let me see if I've got this right, General..."

"Captain," Down replied, but Little continued without caring.

"You went and tucked your pretty little troops into the settlement, while your barracks and grounds are getting a touch up..."

"That would be correct."

"And so, near two hundred soldiers are strutting and swaggering around my streets, in uniform, like peacocks calling for trouble."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't put it that way...-"

"Well, I Celestia damn well would!" Little snarled, surging to the edge of his seat. "Those tin cans of yours are going to be like red flags in the face of every street-tough bull who wants to see how they stack up against a genuine army type."

Downy let the army slur slide for the moment. "Chief Little...really, my troops have been in town before. Why should there be any difference now?"

"Difference is there are two Luna damned hundred of em!" the chief roared. "Before, they weren't in large enough packs to test the hard water, now they are! You've evened up the odds, sure as Celestia's fat flanks! Now they'll want to go anywhere and do anything, and you can bet your ass there will be trouble!"

"I see." Down gave a thin smile. "I guess I overestimated the control the police have over this quaint town. My sources did not describe this town as a hotbed of crime ready to explode."

Little's face puffed out with storm clouds, the sight of which sent many in the past running for the hills. "Now just a Luna damned minute! Aside from the monster of the week, we've got the lowest crime rate of any..."

As quickly as it began, the storm blew over, leaving only a ruddy hue in its wake, and even that began to slowly fade away as the Chief hung his head and stared at the files on his desk.

Down Range waited patiently.

"You almost had me going there, General," said Little through clenched teeth. "Any particular reason you tugging my chain?"

"Oh come now Chief, I've no chain in my hooves to go tugging on." replied Downy. "By your words, my troops haven't been able to go anywhere or do anything in the past. Since they have the same rights as any citizen to enjoy what the settlement has to offer, and their money is certainly welcome anywhere I know of in the settlement, I fail to see where my 'evening the odds' is anything I should apologize for or correct... and it's 'Captain,' not 'General.'"

The chief's face split into a tight grin. "Oh sure, never paid much mind to rank with you soldier boys. Fact is, I just ignore 'em altogether... course now if they step out of line. Well, I treat 'em like I would anyone else disturbing the peace or otherwise breaking the law. Fair enough?"

"Well, Corporal..."

"Chief!"

"Oh dear." Downy showed his teeth. "I merely assumed, that since rank was unimportant..."

He allowed the sentence to hover in the air before Small's glaring eyes.

"Fine...Captain."

"Indeed. Now then, Chief, I'm afraid that my troops aren't to be treated exactly like any other lawbreaker. In accordance to our laws, they will be turned over to the local command-in this case, me-for disciplinary actions before being passed over to a civil trial."

"Oh, there is, is there?"

"Certainly," the captain said firmly. "I could have my second in command provide you with a copy of-"

"Oh, I'm familiar with the supposed law," the chief interrupted. "It's just that, usually, when we've taken one of your wayward little foals into custody and called your base, nothing ends up happening, and I'm stuck with a deadbeat in my cell. So forgive my surprise at the concern for proper procedure."

"Different commanders, different priorities." answered Downy. "I'm sure the same is true with your line of work. In my company, I will not have a soldier left to rot in one of your cells... provided we're duly informed the moment they have been restrained, that is. I trust you'll see to it that word is passed to us on a timely basis?"

"Certainly, you'll know." Small smirked. "Of course, whether or not it's on a timely basis will probably depend on whether or not anyone's answering the phone at your end."

"I can pass you the necessary information required to get in touch with me."

"You sure are prim and proper for a Captain who just told me I wouldn't have any trouble from your crew. Why so eager to know if there is any trouble now?"

"I believe I said I didn't expect there'd be any more trouble than usual," the commander corrected. "I'm not trying to kid you. We both know there's bound to be some incidents. I merely wish to establish a positive rapport between us."

"Well then how bout you rapport this to me, how's a low branch organization like yours, perched in a place like the Plaza?"

"Well as you know, it is considered poor manners by the military to ask-"

"I don't happen to be part of the military, Captain. I'm charged with trying to keep this damned town from falling apart, beast of the week aside. I find it suspect to have folks who throw round large hunks of bits with no visible income to explain it. Makes me feel nervous, and when I'm nervous, I get paranoid, get it?"

"Well, the name Captain D-Range, is courtesy of the military, you may also know me as Down Range, of Range Works. The military’s so called attempt to hide my name, I'm surprised you haven't figured that out for yourself."

"Oh, oh swell!" Little spat, ignoring Downy's little dig. "If there's anything I hate more, it’s a tin soldier who buys his way out of trouble. Well, I'll tell you this, buddy, the law here isn't for sale. Keep your tins clean, they hassle me or my officers, I'm liable to play kick the can."

"You will turn them over to me with not a mark on them, is that clear." Down Range growled.

"Well, we don't do unnecessary roughness after cuffing a perp, if that's what you’re implying."

"Then there shouldn't be any trouble." Down smiled. "Chief Smalls. I didn't come here to pick a fight, or throw my weight. I don't know how the other officers have treated you, but I come to you here, fresh as dew upon the dawn grass, willing to co-operate, at least give me the benefit for having shown some courtesy."

"And what, let you trot all over me like a Canterlot noble?"

"Chief Smalls." Downy let loose with an exasperated tone. "I have not dragged my name, money, or any other source of power over you, and I will not. I am here to merely let you know that we are temporarily stationed in town, and that the company will be willing to work in cooperation with your officers on an auxiliary basis should any trouble arise."

The chief cocked his head to one side. "If I understand you correctly, Captain, even though you're new, the troops under your command are the same ones who have been stationed here for the last year?"

"That is correct."

"Then frankly I can't think of a situation desperate enough that I'd want to work with them" - he flashed a wolfish smile-"but I do appreciate the offer to help us poor flathoofs out. Now, get out of my office and let me get some work done."

"Rude, I dare say." Lotus affirmed.

"Perhaps a bit, but then the Mayor...Mayor Mare wasn't joking when she said the nobles have effectively noosed his neck, to keep this place from shinning any better."

"Mayor Mayor Mare?"

"Yeah... it’s her name, one mayor in it that is, still, the current situation does make me wonder, about why I was assigned here." Downy began rubbing his chin in thought.

"Perhaps, as I warned before, it is a situation meant to be considered the impossible task."

"Perhaps...or perhaps someone in the brass actually cares for this place, and is giving me a chance to show the upper echelon what I can do."

"Ever the optimist Captain, be it as it may, if you were to have but a single friend watching from the leaves of other officers, which is still only one. You will need to gather quite a flock of supporters before any respect will be leveled at you."

"Your right, as usual." Downy groaned. "D-Range...seriously, it’s a joke of a cover name, I wouldn't be surprised if the media begins sniffing around here...oh blast it."

"Sir?"

"I nearly forgot, Tandoori is having his cook off before the Plaza's head chef." Downy groaned.

"As the saying goes, Captain." Lotus gently patted his back. "You reap what you sow, and that doesn't even include the idea that the field you are tending to, has already been seen to."

"I need a drink." Downy groaned. "Zebrican folk are said ta be good with their mixes. I only hope the same applies to their cooking."

"I'll be all to happy to enjoy the meal that he prepares, sir." Lotus then leveled a sinister grin. "After you've had the first bite."

Author's Note

Next up, the media, Zebra cooking, and a meeting with the brass!

Chapter 6 The Spice of Life

Lazy Company File - #029

The morning of our second day here at the Plaza, proved to be rife with the scent of blood in the air. That is to say, if blood were coffee, and the java beans themselves a great beast with a need to be slain in order to fill our gullets.

To put it simply, the company is not known for being morning risers, I myself being a nocturne, am...nocturnal, thus having acclimated to the hourly changes of life years ago, I find it only fair that I ensure that the company's leader is up before every other soldier.

It is a task I take to with the utmost glee.

"Ruddy bat...can't let a CO sleep in for another five winks." Down groaned with irritation as he retraced his path through the Plaza down to its restaurant, only to find a blockade of troops, peering into the dining area with trepidation.

"Hey...hey Cap!" C.G. gestured for the CO's attention.

With a sad sigh, Downy made his way over to the supply sergeant, ignoring the smell of heaven wafting from out of the kitchens. He noted the uncomfortable stature of his troops, each soldier peering nervously through the entrance. Suddenly he was reminded about his recent head-butting with Small, and it was much easier to look concerned.

"Trouble here C.G.? Cops?"

"Nah, worse..." the sergeant declared with a shake of his head, craning his neck for a better view of the restaurant. “Got a reporter in the lobby lookin' ta get a scoop, dig?"

Down Range let loose the breath he was holding as a wave of relief washed over him. He almost wanted to laugh, though genuine puzzlement quickly replaced his expression. The presence of a reporter shouldn't have any dourness added to it, as though one were marching to the gallows.

"Well get the troops away from the door," he said, taking command without having made a conscious decision. "We're going to draw their attention with all of us huddled like a hoofball team."

"Right, Cap!" C.G. gestured to the others. "We don't all gotta see what's goin' on...specially when nothin' is happenin'. You...and you! Stay and keep them eyes peeled. Rest of ya, grab your food then skedaddle."

The sergeant paused for a moment to be sure the troops were following his instructions before turning to Down Range. "Sorry 'bout that, but we're all a bit rattled. Having a tabloid or paper printing our faces would make some of our reasons for hiding in the service...well...you know."

"Ahh." Down replied with the sudden realization. "Well then, share this with the others. They'd better get used to reporters. They're going to be around because a lot of what we're going to do will be news. No reason to hide, when it only holds off the inevitable. If anyone is nervous about being interviewed, have 'em speak with Lieutenant Lotus, she's got experience with directing the media where you want them to go in a conversation. We're a company of brothers and sisters here, and no matter what may come, we will support each other as a unit. Clear?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good, now let me handle the reporter, the last thing I need is for them to get any wrong ideas about the troops, seeing how I've had the courtesy of temporarily placing you all here."

"Well damn...sir...thanks, figure the guys will appreciate you having our backs and all."

"I told you at the start, we're in this together, and I won't let the troops down." Downy waved his hoof about. "Now get, I'm going to enjoy my coffee before the madness begins."

C.G. gave Down a quick pat on the shoulder before rushing off to inform the troops. The kelpie himself, prepared himself as he collected a cup of coffee. The shine of his brass catching the eyes of said reporter.

The day had just started, and already Down Range felt like someone had spiked his coffee with decaff.

Lazy Company File - #029
As my dear CO found himself assaulting the shores of Paparazzi, I myself was keeping an observant eye upon our cook.

Tandoori, unlike most zebras, was not known for always shaving a rhyming scheme, but rather, he was considered quite the mixologist when it came to applying his custom alchemical spices to anything he cooks. Many of the soldiers hold him in high regards with his ability to make the standard military fair taste less like cardboard and more like the food they are supposed to be.

It was the Captains insistence then, that Sergeant Tandoori would be given the ingredients necessary to truly ensure that the health of the troops was kept in check, the less the troops snuck off to the local McHarvest, the less they were stuffing their faces with unnecessary junk food.

The most peculiar aspect of our dear zebrican, is his fiery attitude when he finds the troops insulting his cooking. While normally docile and polite, his attitude quickly changes when he is at the helm of his kitchen utensils, and many of the troops have noted his use of capoeira in his cooking.

Did I also mention that he is also the head medic for the company?

The kitchen counter was organized with various spices, as colorful as the Mohawk that adorned the zebrican's head. Each striped with earthly colors ranging from red, to green, to orange. Upon his flank, a set of spices gave proof of his trade in the culinary arts, which he took to with gusto. The most peculiar of all aspects was the set of wings which called to his pegasus callings.

First Lieutenant Lotus observed with mild amusement, as Tandoori smoothly extended his wings out, an egg balanced upon each wing. Quick as lightning, the wings came together, a crack and toss of shells followed, only leaving their remnants behind within a mixing bowl, which he began mixing quickly. A few more eggs followed till the mixing bowl was rather full with the golden mixture.

Tandoori was quite the adept at multitasking, as his forelegs were busy mixing the bowl, his wings went to work, sliding a platter of already cut ham, onions, diced green peppers, and mixed spices onto a well-oiled skillet. The room was quickly filled with the aromatic scent of the intertwining ingredients.

Lotus couldn't help but swallow a bit of drool as the scent reached her nose. Taking a quick glance over at Chef Puff, she was pleased to see that he was in just as much awe as she was, taking a moment to wipe his own lips with his apron.

Tandoori easily proved himself a master of the kitchen, his body the implement of his actions, ingredients his ammunition, and the final dish, a show of his dominance. With the eggs, fully beaten into submission, they were quickly executed quickly upon another skillet. Zebrican wings working quickly to waft a light wave of air under the edges, carefully elevated by the use of a spatula to evenly spread the mixture.

As Lotus and Chef Puff watched, Tandoori carefully flipped the cooked eggs onto a plate, followed by the opposing skillets mixed ingredients, and with a final flap of his wings, another gentle gust of wind carried with it, a sprinkling of parsley which dusted the now closed omelet.

"One sunrise omelet, eggs lightly fluffed, and a dash of mild spices to help any soldier rise with the new dawn." Tandoori sang. "You'll find my spices quite therapeutic, a medicinal balance to help with digestion, as well as providing all the necessities for beginning the day."

"Incredible." Chef Puff answered. "Just incredible, I've never seen non-unicorns cook with such skill."

Chef Puff gently cut into the omelet, the aromatic blast of mixed spices and fillings filled the air, a scent by itself that left the body feeling reinvigorated and alive.

"Sun above," he whispered, taking a bite and freezing.

Lotus had to avert her eyes from the delicious sight, but even then, it did nothing to stave off the scent.

"My word, Tandoori, if that doesn't smell like heaven." she commented. "I take it, studies in alchemy have left you with quite a breath of cooking experience."

"Indeed, it has left me with a range of skills to assist in the body’s natural healing." Tandoori replied, a hint of pride in his words. "As they say, variety is the spice of life, and I feel it is best to fill the bellies of my fellows with a hearty meal."

"Well...if it is not too much to ask." Lotus gently gestured towards a sparklingly clean plate.

As an additional note, the food was delicious. I am most happy with having taken the task of watching Tandoori cook.

Chef Puff would probably have been more apologetic if not for having a rather stuffed face.

After a rather eventful day of playing twenty questions (to the nth power) with the reporter, Downy found himself not only jealous of having missed out on Tandoori's cooking, but aggravated at having to now attend a meeting with the brass, cutting into what he believed to be rather precious time.

Before him sat one of the company's only piece of expensive equipment, a mobile Visaudio. It was a triangular device which projected a three-dimensional image of its caller into the room using a set of light emitting crystals embedded at each of its points. Generally reserved for emergency use, when the sender wanted to be sure the recipient got the message, or wanted to interface directly with the recipient on the other end, like, say, for a reprimand or dressing-down. Consequently such calls were generally received with the same enthusiasm normally reserved for plagues or tax audits.

In Down Range's case, he was to be the unfortunate recipient as before him the head of Colonel Wolfs Bane appeared glared at him.

"Colonel Wolfs Bane." Downy said, offering her a salute. "What can I do for you this evening?"

"Well Captain D-Range," the colonel began without greeting or preamble, "you could start by explaining to me why the Canter News Network found itself with a private expose of your having been stationed within Ponyville's Ft. Everfree."

"Er...news?" Downy threw a quick glance to the room’s entrance where Lotus waited. With a gesture of her wing, she held up her tablet to show off highlights of the news in question.

"Oh, you didn't know? Perhaps I should point out some of its points of interest. Specifically the same points which my commanding officer has brought to my own attention."

A notepad appeared before her face within the Visaudio, her eyes dancing across its pages.

"Hmm...ahh yes 'Playboy General?' and 'Range Works Heir Down Range to Lead Elite Force in Ft. Everfree.' and I can assure you the rest goes downhill from there."

Off camera, Lotus rolled her eyes in exaggerated exasperation. Downy ignored her with some effort, focusing instead on the thought of holding the same reporter's throat in his hooves for such beautiful embellishments.

"Ma'am, I can see where you'd be upset, but begging your pardon, I would like to assure the colonel, however, that at no time during the interview did I state or even imply that I held a rank of general. I can only figure that the reporter either misunderstood or exaggerated my rank for effect. I'll see to it that a correction is issued noting my correct rank, and if necessary, to extend an apology to officers, past, present, and future, for the error."

"Oh, do not stop there, Captain. We are dying to hear your explanation for the rest of the news."

"Er...the rest, ma'am?"

"We wish to understand, why you issued a press release in the first place!" the notepad vanished, and the unicorn officer glared at him. "Please, do inform us!"

"Oh, easily answered!" The captain smiled. "I didn't. It would seem that some pony on the hotel staff probably spread some gossip throughout town, and from there it brought a reporter or two looking to get a scoop. I don't know how much experience you have ma'am, but I found that, the moment the media smells a story, they'll come looking, and it's best to give them what they want, before they invent their own narrative. Figured I'd cut that yarn of trouble before they began getting every fact wrong, that and focusing it on myself, means it keeps them from bothering the rest of the company, and digging up things they shouldn't."

"So you felt it necessary to share your name?"

"She already knew it."

"She?"

"Yes ma'am. The reporter was a pegasus mare...rather attractive that one, but I ensured that things were kept professional."

"Hmm...twould seem that that would have been the problem."

"Ma'am?"

"Nothing Captain, please carry on with your story. As you know, we of the upper brass are intent on finding common media patterns. So...about your name?"

"Er...yes, well she was looking for me by name. This, as you know, is fairly common for me, Colonel. With the media having spotters throughout towns, especially since Ponyville holds not only the new Princess of Friendship, but her friends, the other bearers. Though the military encourages the use of aliases, especially in these cases, sadly not many of us can keep such things hidden."

"Ahh, then let us take things a trot back, and have you explain the reason as to why you have relocated the entire company to a luxury hotel!"

"I'm not aware of any regulation forbidding a company commander with housing his troops in a different location, especially if he absorbs the expenses personally."

"We do not question your right to do so." Wolfs Bane growled. "We ask as to the reason why."

"I would assume the news has shared that bit of information already. With our barracks being remodeled, it gave rise to the need of temporary housing for the company."

"Ahh, so that part of the article is correct then."

"It is, ma'am."

"And are you aware, Captain, that we lease those barracks and the land they're on from the local developer? If so, are you aware of the permission needed from the Apple Matriarch before instituting any renovation or improvements to her property?"

"I am, ma'am. The fact is, Colonel, that I shared the plans with the Matriarch, once I learned about my relocation to this position. She was more than happy to, as she said, 'Have that dern bog o'stench done over!' it seems, the construction, once completed, will help to clear out a bit of the swamp, and relocate much of its soil to the Apple Family's farm."

"How decent of you," the colonel said wryly. "We shouldn't be surprised, but getting back to the article, Captain, perhaps you could also explain why the company was placed within such luxury, as well as the 'Elite' label."

"The label is merely another assumption on the news's part. I simply said that I was here on 'a special assignment,' and she jumped to her own conclusions. As to the quality of our temporary housing...may I speak freely, ma'am?"

"Please do. If you can clarify the situation without prolonging this already long day, it would be appreciated...though from the sounds of things, we should have merely called it a night."

"The quarters, the hotel for temporary housing, and many other things that you shall no doubt hear about in the future, are all part of my plan to turn this company around. As I figure, these people have been treated like the pits. Tossed around, and ignored, so I have this idea, ma'am, that if I treat them like losers, they'll act like it. So if I treat them like winners, make'em think their winners, they'll believe it, and hopefully act like it."

"You are betting a lot on this theory, that if it quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, then it must be a duck. That is an expensive bet, Captain, one that could cost you more than just your finances."

"I think it's a swell risk, ma'am," Downy replied firmly. "And if it isn't... well, that's the consequence of command is it not?"

"True enough." Colonel Wolfs bane pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Then let it be so, Captain. We have heard you words, and you shall have your head on this for a while. We pray to the armies benefit that it does work. If not, we're no worse off than when we started. Of course, now that your name is known, if you foul up like before, it'll be hard for you to vanish from our sight."

"Er...of course, ma'am."

"Captain Down Range, what we say is not meant to scare you, but to make you aware, that you sit in a rather vulnerable position." There was genuine concern in her voice, which warmed Downy to her, despite the seriousness of the conversation.

"Of course, ma'am," he repeated. "Thank you, Colonel."

"Very well. I shall try to cover the ruckus at this end. You focus on shaping up those troops of yours. We can see much time and concentration on your part, being applied to this. In the future, however, do give us advance warning if the media is going to pounce on something you or your crew is doing. You're not the only one who doesn't like evening, or worse, morning surprises."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll try to remember that."

"Oh, and Captain..."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"The remodeling of your barracks. How long do you think it will take?"

"The estimate, based upon the forest whims, is about a month to a month and a half."

"I see. It would perhaps interest you to know, Captain, that that's the estimate my sister was given when she wanted a new wing added to her home." Wolfs bane offered a triumphant smile.

"Pardon?"

"Good day, Captain. Wolfs bane, signing off."

Downy watched with some confusion, as the image faded completely.

"I must say, it seems that the Colonel favors you." Lotus chimed in.

"What makes you say that?" Downy asked.

"You're still standing." Lotus replied. "I also would like to note, that you neglected to tell the colonel that you nor only negotiated for the remodeling of the barracks, but that you also purchased the land, and the construction company that is in charge of the remodeling."

"It uh... didn't seem like the right time to share it, somehow." The captain winked. "Besides, the Builds R Us have quite the positive track record, a little capitol to grow their name will do wonders for their image."

"And the Apples, sir?"

"Well, Granny Smith explained it to me rather well, that the land we are on, was something of a rainy day savings, one the family was waiting for the right buyer to purchase."

"I see, I take it then, that they were rather keen on the negotiations and all?"

"I don't think the rest of the apples even knew, that our Princess Celestia gave them quite a bit more ground, than is listed in the founding of Ponyville." Downy itched his nose. "Incidentally, remind me to get us a clerk or assign one of the troops as communications monitor. You shouldn't have to do that on top of the rest of your duties."

"I would find that most appreciative, sir... it would certainly free up my time, not having to assist with extra clerical duties."

"No thanks necessary, Lot! I just don't want to give you more ammo than necessary when it comes time for your next review before the brass!"

"Oh, believe me Captain D-Range, I think there is more than enough to go around." Lotus offered him a wolfish grin. "You can only hide so much."

"Well, best to get some shuteye, it’s been a bit of a day, and form what I heard, you got to enjoy the better part of it."

"Tandoori is quite the superb cook, I must say, you have no fear of hearing a complaint coming from Chef Cream Puff...if anything, you might be offered requests to have Tandoori assist in the kitchens."

"Noted, but we can't always shave our head surgeon working the KP, as I would like to go over the details for guard duty, especially once the construction crews arrive." Downy yawned. "Dusk have it, I'm turning in for the night now, a good night Lotus."

"Good dusk to you, sir." Lotus offered him a salute."

Author's Note

I've always imagined that ponies fought with more of a capoeira style of combat, or that of tae kwon do (lots of kicks). The utilization of strap on weapons and claws a major focus for melee weapons, as the idea of carrying weapons in the mouth always felt...silly to me :O

Also rhyming be damned!

I imagine Tandoori speaking somewhat like Forest Whitaker, giving a bit of a Ugandan accent.

Chapter 7 Disaster Line Down

Lazy Company File - #032

Attempting to capture the true feeling of what it was like for the company to stand guard duty in the Everfree Forest, is easily written into one word.

Discomforting

It isn't to say, that the forest is dangerous...no rather, it feels unnatural, as it were. Do forgive me, to describe it is rather difficult. We are naturally creatures of magic, magic which runs through our bodies like the very life blood that keeps us alive, so you would understand that entering the Everfree proper, is like entering into a pool of ice water.

It should be known, that Fort Everfree itself doesn't reside within the forest, rather, it borders it, courtesy of what was once Apple Family property.

Captain Down Range saw to it, that plenty of guards were placed on duty to protect not only the town, but the construction workers who were currently tending to the fort. It was a rather easy feat, as curiosity itself, was enough to drive in plenty of volunteers wanting to get a peek at the goings on within the fort itself.

Unfortunately for Bonjour, we were quickly going to be seen as quite the ghastly sight, especially those tasked with patrolling around the Froggy bottom Bog, in the name of security for the towns shyest residence, and bearer of the element of kindness. It is perhaps a benefit that she was once a known model, enough so that many of the soldiers took to assisting her in her tasks with some reserved amount of glee.

Mrs. Bonjour has had the pleasure of having children, with children comes messes, something she has all to easily handled before, what she hasn't ever dealt with, is company of nearly two hundred soldiers, back from their patrol through the Everfree Forest, in a state that some purple haired fashionista would consider such a travesty as to feint on the spot.

The Plaza manager had nearly resigned herself to the militarys' presence in her hotel. There was no denying the welcome influx of rental monies during a normally slack period, and the troops themselves had proved to be far less raucous and destructive than she originally feared. She even made an honest effort to muster a certain amount of enthusiasm in her mind for their residence. What progress she had made along those lines, however, faded rapidly as she observed the company's transports pull up to the front door late in the afternoon, disgorging what could only be described as "mudponies" onto the sidewalk, and not in the racially insulting way, but in a literal sense of the word.

From the waist-or, in some cases, the neck-up, they were recognizable as the hotel's latest guests. From the "disaster line" down, however, any familiar detail of individual or uniform was lost in a coating of muck. As sticky as it looked, Bonjour noted that the coating seemed to lack sufficient adhesion to fully remain on its hosts, disturbing quantities of it falling in flakes and globs onto the sidewalk and, with apparent inevitability, the lobby carpet.

"Company, halt!"

The voice of the companys' commander, or, as Bonjour tended to think of him, the Leader of the Herd, cracked like-a whip, bringing the mud-encrusted figures to a complete, if rather puzzled, halt before the lobby's threshold.

The hotel manager watched with some astonishment as D-Range, his uniform displaying the same dubious collection of swamp mire as his followers, squeezed through the ranks and advanced on to the registration desk with the cautious tread of one trying to ease over a mine field.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Bonjour," the commander said pleasantly upon reaching his destination. "Could you call housekeeping for me and see if they have...Oh! Never mind. These will do just fine!"

So saying, he scooped up two stacks of the day's newspapers from the desk, manipulators extending from his hooves to help steady the pile. After balancing the stack neatly, he tossed a pouch of bits onto the counter.

"Here...this should cover it. Oh, and Bonjour?"

"Yes, Mr. Range?" the manager responded absently as she tried to figure out how to count the money without soiling her hooves. Delegation seemed the only answer.

"Do you know if everything's set up in the main ballroom?"

"In a way, sir. Yes. One of your sergeants thought it best if we also erected a divider to allow some privacy between sexes, and it was necessary to open one of the adjoining meeting rooms for additional space-"

"Yes, of course," Downy interrupted. "But we're good, right?"

"Yes, sir. If your wish, I'll inform them you've arrived."

"No need, Bonjour. Thanks, anyway," the commander said as he began to retrace his steps toward the door.

"Right lads! Listen up!" He waited patiently till the troops lapsed into silence. "I want the troops on point to take these papers and spread them out on the carpet between the door and the elevators. The rest of you, move slow and stay on the path as much as possible. Any extra papers are to be left by the elevators, and I want you to grab a handful to spread ahead of you as you hit your floors. We're not here to make a mess for the staff to slave over, so keep it to a minimum. Understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"What's wrong with room service?"

The catcall from the rear was greeted with laughter and a few scattered rude replies until Downy waved the company into silence once more.

"Allow me to answer," he announced. "While we're guests at this hotel, there is a housekeeping service as well as laundry service at our disposal. I have also contracted similar services for us once we move into our new barracks."

A wave of enthusiastic cheers rose before being cut short by another gesture.

"However, I remind you that this is a privilege, and it is not to be abused. If it comes to my attention that the personnel of these services are being forced to deal with any unnecessary unpleasantness or are putting in extra hours due to laziness from anyone under my command, several things will happen." Downy paused for effect. "First, they will be paid a bonus commensurate to the work required. Second, the bonus will be deducted from your checks rather than included in the normal expenses I am covering. Last, those services will then be canceled and their work distributed among the company as additional duty until such time as I'm convinced that you lot appreciate their efforts. You may not be professionals yet, but you will conduct yourself as such. Do I make myself clear?"

"YES, SIR!"

"Aye then, now get up to your rooms and cleaned, then report to the main ballroom for-"

A new eruption of catcalls interrupted the commander, though it was apparent that he was not the focus. Breaking off his briefing, he turned to see what had captured the company's attention.

"Hoooo-eeee!"

"Sun above, I can feel that heat from here!"

"Boy's, we got a stallion eater here!"

"How 'bout a kiss, doll?"

Ace stood framed in the hotel door, though "stood" scarcely embraced the picture she presented. Her entrance came with the clattering of her hooves as she struck a diva's pose. Her expression held a smug smile of a rich baroness surveying her peasants. The most obvious reason for her self-pleasure, and the target of the catcalls, was her uniform.

In place of her normally frayed and faded uniform, Ace glowed in a Gore-Tex jumpsuit of the purest midnight blue. The change from her usual rough-and-tumble look was stunning, and the contrast between her and her mud-caked admirers made her look like she just stepped off a recruiting poster...or a catwalk. Polished horseshoes shined as she drew herself up and fired off a parade-ground salute towards her company.

"Ready in the main ballroom, sir! C.G. is currently in the last run of his own fitting."

Downy would have liked to have feigned annoyance at having been upstaged by his First Sergeant, but he, like many of the other stallions, and a few mares, was having a hard time trying to keep unprofessional thoughts out of his mind as he examined her every curve. Clearly the sergeant had been unable to resist the temptation to show off her new outfit, and had seized on the excuse of reporting in to parade it in front of the rest of the company. Carefully calming his more basic instincts, Downy returned the salute.

"Thank you, Ace. We'll be along momentarily. Tell Ms. Rarity Belle and her friends that the rest will be along shortly."

"Yes, sir!"

Again the flashy salute, which the commander was obliged to return before turning back to his company of soldiers.

"Well...there went the surprise, get going, clean up, and form an orderly line where the sergeants tell you too, no rush, everyone will have their chance." His final words were nearly drowned out by a loud whoop of enthusiasm as the soldiers surged forward into the hotel, barely remembering their commander's order regarding the newspapers.

Following in their wake, Downy saw Ace surrounded by a knot of soldiers admiring her uniform, or her, it was difficult to tell.

"First Sergeant?"

"Sir?"

Ace broke away from her pack, leaving a few drooling wanders to stare.

"Relax, Ace. The uniform looks great on you."

"Only great? Sir?" she tossed her hips to the side. "Hmm, I guess great is alright."

"Certainly." Downy replied, steeling is resolve. "I take it the designer team was easy to work with?"

"Yes, sir. I'll tell you what, that Ponyvillian tailor has some skill, seems this is her first time doing a military commish."

"Is it only Ms. Belle?" he asked. "I would hope not, two hundred troops is a bit much for just one mare."

"Ahh don't worry Cap, she's got herself a small team assisting her!" came the answer. "The marshmallows got it pretty good to I'd say."

"Marshmallow?"

"You'll get it when you see her." Ace shrugged. "You oughta get yourself cleaned up, before you dry up and get cemented to the floor."

"Right, as you were Ace, nice entrance by the way." Downy carefully saluted her.

The commander watched her leave, then tiptoed over to the desk with the exaggerated care of a villain in a sitcom.

"Excuse me, Ms. Bonjour?"

"Yes, monsieur Down Range?"

"There'll be a representative of the Apple Family coming to meet with me." he said. "If you'll have him directed to my suite for discussions, you would have my thanks."

"Ahh, this would be monsieur Big Macintosh, would it not?" Bonjour watched as Down Range nodded his confirmation. "Ahh, impressive that one, I shall be sure to have the staff direct him accordingly."

"Thanks."

"I must say, the need for military fashion to have a singular color scheme does prove bothersome." a white mare sniffed, tossing her purple mane aside.

"Oh, well as much as I would agree, you must admit...it is impressive when you see an entire column of them standing side by side." a younger more diminutive mare politely responded, adjusting a pin held within her two toned blue mane.

"Oh dear, you're correct Coco, it is quite...well, let us say, it makes for a unique group identity, but still, I do think some edging of the cuffs, or texture would create more of a balance." came the reply. "I must say, it is a blessing that I do not have to work on anything as garish as camouflage though."

"Eh, everything good Ms. Belle?"

Rarity turned to face the voice that called to her. "Oh, M...er... Sergeant Ace, I must say, everything is going swimmingly. The troops are certainly conducting themselves in a polite manner, allowing me and my partners time to quickly fit, and move them along, I dare say, we shall have the rest of them finished by tomorrow afternoon."

With a wave of her hoof, Rarity gestured to her armada of supporting seamstresses.

"I was...rather surprised to have such...support waiting for me, do let Captain Range know that I am very appreciative of this opportunity." she said. "I never knew a military commission would be quite so... extensive, why, the appliqué's are certainly easy to work with, though I wish the Captain would allow me to...tweak the designs a little more."

"Eh, sorry doll, but shiny bits don't do much more in the field, than to attract the eyes, bit the opposite of what you fashion folks would want...I guess."

"Oh, but it is so drool, but still, let it never be said that I turned away a commission over my own personal differences." Rarity huffed slightly. "Besides, I'm certainly glad that I'll be having a bit more of my way with the dress uniforms. I do love how they seem to cut a sharp edge in their form, especially upon a well-shaped body."

Ace couldn't help but notice Rarity throwing glances towards Bombast.

"Easy there Queen, the new skin cuts nicely, but it don't do much for saving the personality." Ace said with a chuckle.

"Oh true," whined Rarity. "So true. Coco, what do you think?"

"Oh? Me? Well..." Coco paused for a moment to watch as Yasir and Dust Might entered the room. "I think the military certainly seems...friendly?"

"Hah, yeah, if you join the right unit, else its hells bells!" Ace barked out with laughter. "It’s only been a few days, and our captain has been quick to get us into shape."

"Oh...I didn't know...is it always so difficult?"

"It’s the army, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be government!"

"Well that's certainly a depressing thought." Rarity chimed in.

"Eh, you got the Bloods family line holding control over it all, it’s why they ask for officer commissions, kinda makes sense when you think of it like that."

"Oh...him..." the white mare groaned. “Well, that certainly does explain a few things."

"Him?" asked Coco.

"Nothing to worry about darling!" the mask upon Rarity's face quickly changed to something more upbeat. "Oh, if I remember correctly, you wanted to ask a favor Ms. Ace?"

"Ahh yeah, bout that, keepin things on the low and all...the others and I...well we got to talkin." Ace gestured for the two to come closer before whispering. "See, the company, it just isn't a company without a patch, a mark to really pull us together!"

"Oh, that sounds exciting!" Coco squeed.

"It does, and I know just the pony to help us with a few designs, a friend of mine." said Rarity. "She's quite the reader of this lovely little neighponese graphic novels, I dare say, she's would probably have some fun helping us brainstorm a patch for you all."

"Right, but you know, keep it quiet." Ace hissed. "The boys and girls really want to show the boss that we're willing to put ourselves out on the front for him, he's been doing a lot right by us, just hope it doesn't turn out to be a dream ya know?"

"Well, I for one certainly find your captain to be quite charming, a bit eccentric, but charming." replied Rarity. "Though, he is the first Kelpie to come through Ponyville. Coco?"

"Oh? Manehattan has a lot of business from them, they do like the water after all."

"Hmm, I must ask Ms. Ace, but have you ever thought about modeling?" Rarity gestured to the mares overall stance. "You cut quite a figure...has anyone ever told you-"

"That I look like Fancy's wife...yeah, more than enough." Ace shook her head. "Nope, won't find me struttin down a lane for pho-togs, sides, I don't have the business mind she does, course mom's always wishin we had traded places."

"How so?"

"Older cousin, if you'd believe it."

"Wait...Fleur?" Rarity gasped. "But...but I've met her, she's"

"Phrench, sure is, mother’s sis went to school there for fashion, mine went for business...and me, streets made me the tough gal that I am!" Ace spoke with pride, rubbing her sergeant’s stripes. "Don't make em like us, that's for sure. She might cut business, but I'll cut a hydra or two if they get in my way."

"But, well, you're practically twins!"

"I guess, if you think of it that way." Ace shrugged.

"Big Mac, it’s good to see you again." Downy offered the larger stallion a hoof.

"Pleasure." Came the curt reply followed by the gentle acceptance of said hoof in a firm shake. "So, Granny say's there's business, and AJ is a might too busy at the moment, so I'm here ta represent."

"Certainly, as long as we're clear on what is needed, I think things should go to plan." The kelpie took a seat, gesturing to the opposing chair. "So, what's this about needing the army's assistance with apple collecting? I figure you all do well enough, and the numbers in the market speak highly of you all."

"Sure, course AJ would say otherwise, then again, she never did like having to deal with all the fancy mathematics." Big mac drew out a pair of spectacles from his yolk, along with a few pages. "Now, just ta be sure, Granny had gone and explained to ya bout our harvesting, and more particularly, our most prized season."

"Zap Apple, correct?"

"Darn right it is, Zap Apples are what landed this town upon this here plot of land." Big Mac adjusted his specs as he glossed over the pages in hoof, then passed them over to Down Range. "Now, you'll find that Zap Apples have a quality to them, but even then, none are still more pure in their intensity, than a natural Everfree Zap Apple."

"What's the difference?"

"It's the way of the land itself, from soil, magic, weather," Big Mac ticked each matter off on his hoof. "And plenty more, all coming together to naturally imbue its apples with quite a punch."

"So the forests...natural state?" Down looked to Big Mac who nodded." Just checking, so the natural untouched state of the forest, is what causes the Apples to grow differently? How does this involve my troops?"

"Well, figure, if y'all are doin rounds throughout the forest anyway-"

"Only up to the old palace of the sisters, what's left of it at least."

"Eeyup, we figure, long as you’re trooping to and from there, you'd be able to watch over a few scouters and harvesters, figure being able ta pinpoint the main bushels, will allow us a chance at nabbin the apples."

"Leaving the trees to continue growing in the forest then?"

"Partially, figure, if we were to grow a few of the trees closer to your base, it would have the benefit of both the forts protection, and the Everfree's soil."

"Two birds-"

"One stone."

"Hmm, now I figure most of the command would probably toss a big "N.O." your way." Down stroked his chin for a moment. "Course, I think it would give the troops a little bit more needed work on the job, don't want them growing soft."

"Eeyup, last commander wasn't too keen on getting his boots dirty out in the marshes."

"I figure it shan't be too much trouble to have the troops roving along and keeping an eye on your own, course I would ask something simple in return." Downy extracted a sheet from his desk drawer and offered it to Big Mac.

"Reckon there was gonna be a bit of back scratchin." The larger stallion chimed. A few moments of examining the sheet brought with it a raise brow. "Openin of the Apple stock's?"

"For investment, figure an endeavor like this requires good capital to make capital, something the troops invest in, even better if a special portfolio can be opened up for the company."

"Heheh, well shucks, Granny said you were different from the other movers and shakers." Big Mac tucked the sheet away. "Course any contractual changes still needs Granny's signature, so things might will hafta wait till then."

"Eh, you won't find me making a mockery of business, just hoof a message over to me when you can, and I'll be there to discuss anything more over in your neck of the woods." Downy replied. "Is there anything else ta discuss this fine afternoon?"

"Well...I reckon there's one thing."

"That is?"

"What do you know bout my lil'sister and her gang of Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

Lazy Company File - #036

It was quite an interesting evening to say the least. Captain Down Range had called together a company meeting in order to discuss a recovery plan in response to any Cutie Mark Crusading campaigns. The thought that a group of children could ever be so troublesome is, to me, laughable. Be it as it may, the Apple Brother had been kind in informing the Captain about the previous success of the original trio, and how it caused quite a turnout for new crusader members, not just in Ponyville mind you, but apparently all throughout Equestria.

I dare say, it is very similar to the filly and colt scouts of Equestria, though with a focus of helping the lost find their way in life and thus their destiny marks, as the colts like to say.

Hoofbooks on "Sap Cleaning" and "How to avoid your pyromania" seems to have appeared upon the newest supply roster.

Author's Note

Have a Drink, Sir. The Drinking Game!
Take a shot every time the dialogue includes a "Yes, sir." in it!

Anyway, seems the company is beginning to shape up in uniform, now how bout that new fort!

Chapter 8 Just be Stable

Lazy Company File - #040

When a commander enters into the office (the suite in this case) of a new location, they must take both the expected and unexpected with stride. For Captain Down Range, he took such occasions with the energy of a foal awaiting the opening of their newest holiday present.

To wake up in your office (the suite in this case again) with a guest from the Equestrian Agency grinning at you, surprise is perhaps the second thing to register, the first being the question of whether or not one is still asleep.

"Good morning Captain."

Downy blinked wearily at the beige earth pony. A jug of coffee sitting upon a table next to a box of treats.

"I apologize for my morning appearance but, it is required that I keep my occupation incognito to the rest of the citizens of this great town." she said, gesturing to the seat before her. "Have a seat, I just finished making the sweets, and they'll help give you a bit of a needed jolt for the morning, goes good with the coffee too."

Downy nodded, wondering how he could have even missed the mare's presence in the suite, especially since he was just recently occupying the couch. The sound of the door opening announced the rise of Iron Lotus, she herself pausing in surprise at the intrusion of the room’s new occupant.

"The name is Sweetie Drops, but call me Bon Bon, it's what the town knows me by. “She offered a smile. "I am on loan to the military's Stable of Intelligence, and assumed now would be a good time to introduce myself."

"The SOI? Why would they station you here? Asked Downy drowsily.

"Just have a candy and a drink."

He nodded lazily, throwing a glance at Lotus who merely shrugged, circling around the furniture to join him upon the couch.

"Ahh, First Lieutenant Iron Lotus, a pleasure to see you here as well!" Bon Bon extended a hoof which Lotus gently shook.

Downy took a long pull of coffee from his acquired mug and let forth a pleasant sigh. "Oh that's some good stuff."

"Heheh, Saddle Arabian beans, fresh from the train too."

"Right, so back to...my...ahhh I see, Ponyville, the elements, and Tartarus just next door, as I've now learned."

"Yup, originally I was part of an older agency tasked with....relocating creatures to Tartarus, but after the bugbear incident, it was quickly disbanded for our safety." Bon Bon gave a small shrug. "So now I'm here working with the SOI in co-operation with the EIB."

"Of course the Equestrian Investigative Bureau would have interest. So how big of a light have a put on myself."

"Sir, if one were to guess, pardon my saying Ms. Bon Bon?" at her nod Lotus continued. "I would say it is quite a laser focus, who wouldn't notice the large expenditure of money towards a small little village such as this?"

"Got it in one L.T." Bon Bon clapped her hooves. "Now, I'm here, mostly as insurance that operations will go smoothly, but from what I hear coming out of the grapevine, is that some officers seem to have a vendetta against you, something bout the Gryphon Equestrian conflict that ended just a little while ago."

"...my joy knows no bounds." Downy groused. "Wasn't the court proceedings enough?"

"Certainly, a promotion to a new position, command of a unit, even one with as bad of a reputation as your troops." Bon Bon smiled. "Why that certainly sounds like just punishment for having bombarded the peace signings as well as the princesses."

As Down Range protested, Lotus extended a wing past him, muffling the sounds of his complaints.

"Begging your pardon then, would it be safe to assume that you are not part of the problem?" asked the nocturne.

"Certainly, you've made some real improvement in the troops in a matter of weeks, which means less paperwork for me!" the mare giggled. "Believe me, the previous commanders believed this place to be a career ender. Stupid really, when you think about it, it is the central hub of the new princess, her friends the elements, and of course all manner of crazy things."

"Well I don't need enemies from the inside!" muttered Downy as he pushed Lotus's wing out of his face. "Rolling the troops together is taking work, and I'm damn happy ta see them getting their craic's on, as posed ta acting the maggot."

"Captain, you’re using your slang again."

Downy took in a deep breath, followed by a sip of his coffee. The red of frustration slowly leaking away from his face as he released a long held breath of stressed air.

"Alright, Bon Bon, what can I do to keep these officers off my case?"

"To be honest, you can't really do anything. Even now your actions are being scrutinized, no surprise there, a small time officer comes in with money to help bolster his troops support." Bonny clapped her hooves together. "Boom, its hit by media attention, good, or bad. They'll tap every little bit you spend, checking the dots of your I's, or the crosses on your T's."

"Just my luck, so then what is your purpose here?"

"Easy, Colonel Wolfs Bane has asked that I assist you with any necessary information to keep you from drowning under the tide that is the coming military bureaucracy." she replied.

"Hmm, having the assistance of an EIB member would prove quite fortuitous." said Lotus. "Is it safe to assume, that you would ask of our assistance as well in matters that pertain to the crown itself?"

"If necessary, hopefully not, but Ponyville is weird like that, we'll be having a lunch date than bam, your staring at the sad tears of your best friend as her favorite slice is gobbled up before her eyes by a parasprite."

"How...how is this town even standing?"

"Oh it's been brought to the ground a few times now, parasprites, the cutie mark crusaders, discord, the cutie mark crusaders, Tirek, the cutie mark crusaders..." Bon Bon tapped her chin. "Oh! The Cutie Mark Crusaders! Yeah that bout covers some of the troubles."

"You...mentioned them about three times there..."

"Good, you were listening! Course the original trio have gone and found their calling, but the success of their little club has made quite a movement throughout the rest of the country." Bon Bon smiled. "Bless their little hearts, even if that apple kid gets a bit pushy with apple sales..."

"Er...I see, Big Macintosh gave me a short rundown about the CMC, when I say short."

"Yeah, it’s kinda standard that they have to take the time to explain the challenges those kids present." she shrugged. "Heck, it’s in our town's pamphlet now. Welcome to Ponyville, avoid giving ideas to CMC caped clad children."

"I can't help but wonder though, why only a single agent is here." Lotus chimed in. "Would it not be better to have an official presence of the crown here, even the Royal Guards? I notice there are no guards to be found, even though there is the castle of Princess Twilight."

"Oh that, Twilight, and she prefers being called just Twilight, likes to try and have her castle feel more homey, as opposed to exceeding amounts of opulent extravagance."

"I would think that the castle itself has rather out done itself in that regard."

"Ugh, no kidding, you can't imagine what it’s like waking up to that thing when the rising sun hits it juuuuussstttt right!" Bon Bon waved a hoof over her eyes. "Lake unneeded optic surgery, sun rays finding their way right into your eyes, ugly looking thing to, whatever this Tree of Harmony is, an architectural expert it ain't!"

"Yes...I would have to agree, it is rather...unappealing for a castle, but it still doesn't answer the other part of my question, and that is why only the single presence of an agent?"

"Well, it isn't like we need an entire cell dedicated to the town." she answered. "I've my own tablet, assigned to me by Princess Luna in order to send off any emergency messages, course it’s a bit difficult to figure out what is an emergency and what is just another Tuesday here in Ponyville."

"Ahh, so a direct link to her majesty of the Moon."

"Would make for the quick arrival of a rapid response team, after recent dealings with Tirek, the war, and everything else, the princesses have been more pressed to increase the arms budget."

"The same one held by the House of Lords?"

"Yeah..." Bon Bon let out a groan. "The same, a military so overfunded, you would have expected gilded war chariots and ships, as opposed to the rust buckets we make due with."

Downy placed his mug down and offered Bonny a smile. "That's why I chose to commit my resources to my troops. If the regulations is going to make it impossible for them to incur goods otherwise, it'll have to be up to me to utilize our open market to benefit them."

"You know the saying though right?"

"If it's what you’re thinking, I sure do." Downy replied. "If a lord comes to your house with good intent, run!"

"Yup, and that pretty much explains why every new branch of the lords, are already rotted at the core on growth." Bon Bon circled her hoof in the air. "That actually is another part of my presence, is to keep the lords in check, for Twilights sake."

"Are we to understand that Princess Twilight's position is under threat from manipulation?" asked Lotus.

"Of course it is!" Bon Bon answered. "So is any other position that can benefit a pony who only has the good intent of what they believe is best for others. Celestia willing, Twilight won't ever run into that...but, well, wishful thinking and such ya know?"

"Can't hide behind the sun forever I take it?"

"Yup, that's the way it goes D-Range!"

Downy winced at the name, ignoring the smug smile and chuckle coming from Lotus. "Er...yes, so how are we to assist you, the SOI, and the EIB?"

"Cooperation, you ring me when you need help, I'll ring you when I got issues that I can't take care of by myself." she tapped that table. "As you well know, I can't tackle any problem, unless I'm informed about what is happening, especially in regards to your military brass, and it goes the same in reverse, you can't keep up on all Ponyville's troubles, unless you have Intel that can help!"

"Sounds fair, where can we find you?"

"Bon Bon's Bon Bon's." she answered happily.

"..."

"Candy shop, can't miss it, a few houses away from Sugar Cube Corner. I'm the supplier of much of the candies the cakes use on their cakes!"

"I sometimes wonder about names in Equestria...I really do." Downy muttered.

"Eh say what you will, it makes for a nice jingle on the radio!" Bon Bon giggled. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, its moving day, and I'm keeping you all from your debut...by the way, I should hope I can run about the facilities, can't let these muscles start sagging like melted caramel now can I?"

"I uh...well in the spirit of cooperation, I don't have any reason to say no." Downy replied.

"Good! Captain, Lieutenant, stop by for a treat, and don't forget to keep a positive presence here in town! It'll do more good than bad after all!" she giggled.

Lazy Company File - #041

In comparison to myself, my sister is a dyed-in-the-wool civilian, thus, she is rather unfamiliar with the stuffy quaintness of military jargon, as well as overabundant utilization of acronyms the supposed hope of assisting others with documentation (it most certainly doesn't). Military language comprehension is rather colorful, a design used to hide its activities and attitude under the disguise of officious blandness. (My favorite is the phrase "Inoperative combat units," as opposed to simply, casualty.) Such is the case with the military obstacle course, or rather, the so-called confidence course.

To you or me, in a common perspective, we see a path strewn with various obstacles placed at regular intervals which challenge the soldiers who must traverse from the courses beginning, to its end. These confidence courses, so named as to appear more acceptable to the ponies it was inflicted upon in the hopes "to increase the soldier's self0confidence by demonstrating to them that they can function successfully under duress."

Sadly to say, I have seen many of my fellow officers leave said confidence courses in a rather dejected manner when certain challenges prove far beyond the might of their own self confidence.

As an officer, I must express my honest assessment of the current company, that the inclusion of tying their own laces would certainly prove, without a doubt, enough of a confidence breaker. These courses further include dampeners, and other means to equally spread the misery amongst all races within the military be they unicorns, earth ponies, flyers, or others. It would certainly be a challenge for myself to impress a new set of guidelines in order to help them succeed, if my Captain's dreams of excelling the troops were to ever be met.

To say that the playing field was a bit discordant is an understatement.

It would explain the major donation that has recently been made to assist in animal shelters throughout Equestria though.

The silence was discomforting amongst the small group of observers watching the troops run the confidence course...or to be more precise, attempting to. Of the four officers, Lotus was studying the scene with a neutral intensity, the reason being that, as well as Down Range may work in managing troops, Lotus was considered more adept at the physical aspects of fitness and body control.

The nocturne could be seen gliding along the various trails, keeping an eye upon the troops as they huffed and puffed their way through each challenge. Ace stood at parade rest, a cold expression framing her face as she also observed the various antics taking place upon the field, the two lieutenants were alternating between averting their eyes in embarrassment, or exchanging uneasy glances, united by their mutual discomfort...temporarily at least.

Captain D-Range grumbled lightly, every time Lieutenant Lotus threw him a look, he knew that she meant it as another step upon the ladder for the troops to climb. As much as Downy understood the troops, it was Lotus who would be the ever present force of nature, ready to whip the troops into shape. Troops who were currently performing at a level far below even the loose standards of the military. Lotus gave no indication of high expectations. She had even issued new orders modifying the conditions under which the course would be run.

Unicorns struggled to catch ropes over the mud pits, no magic would be found to pull it that extra inch closer to their hooves. Earth Ponies, and even Yasir would find themselves without their natural affinity of earthly strength to get them across the various endurance courses, and of course the flyers, both pegasi and nocturne, found their own ability to fly denied to them. The only soldiers to be taking to the course with any ease, were the two Canidians from the northern territories. Their naturally non-magical capabilities were showing their true benefits, save for one thing.

"Is it me?" said Downy, drawing the eyes of his two 2nd Lieutenants. "Or do those two pups seem to be more at war with each other, than they are with the obstacles?"

"Boadicea and Tacitus?" Metric boomed. "Nah, you can tell it by their names. Boadicea is from a rather well known family of military war dogs, Tacitus is from business stock. What I hear, is that Canidia has quite a bit of class warfare between military, business, middle, and even low class citizens."

"Really now? I knew about the competition, but I didn't think they were uh so...dogmatic in their views..." Downy frowned, cringing at his use of words.

Metric chuckled a little as Gentle chimed in. "It’s not to say they are any trouble outside these courses, save for the occasional glare, or mutterings, they're pretty amicable when it comes to having to work with each other."

"Huh? Well that's something." said Downy. He observed the rest of the troops, then glanced down at his watch, blanching slightly. "Twenty-four minutes and most of them haven't even made it to the halfway point."

Downy found nothing but silence coming from his officers.

---Last Night---

"Right, get an early rest you two, I've had the construction crew expedite the creation of the confidence course, and I figured it'll be good to see the troops in action!"

"...Confidence course?" Gentle gulped.

"You...you want the troops to run it?" finished Metric.

"Of course! We got them looking like troops. Time we started working them toward acting and feeling like troops, right?"

The two lieutenants merely stared at him, as though he were a changeling invited to a pony wedding.

---Present---

"Oh...that uh...explains why the both of you looked at me the way you did."

Metric merely focused his gaze upon Dust Might, the diminutive pegasus, approached the three-meter board wall. A challenge that daunted all but the most athletic. A small trail circled it for those downhearted to bypass this test after a few tries before they became terminally depressed. Sad to say, the bulk of the company chose this route after a halfhearted run at the board, and many didn't even bother pretending to try. Not so with Dust Might.

Putting on a quick burst of speed, her wings unfurling majestically to give the pegasus a burst of speed, she threw herself at the wall forgetting for just a moment that, due to special magic's placed upon the course, she was denied her ability of gaining height. The resounding crack of pony vs. wall echoed throughout the field, drawing winces from any observing her. It was a sincere, if futile, effort. One which easily should have earned her the walk-around. Yet she was determined, damned determined to get over that wall.

Picking herself up from the dust, Dust Might paused only long enough to resettle her gear, then hurled herself at the obstacle again, hooves scratching at the wall as she slowly progressed up in in a vertical manner, before meeting the same unfortunate results. It didn't stop her though, and many feared that one or the other was bound to break.

Lotus appeared in a gust of whispers, just as Dust Might propelled herself again. In one smooth stride, the nocturne approached Dust Might, timing her movements to match, and with an impersonal hoof upon the Pegasus's rump, launched her over the wall. Though doubtlessly surprised by the assist, the littlest soldier did not so much as throw a backward glance, choosing to scurry off towards the next obstacle.

"Well damn!" Downy uttered with a grin. "If that's a loser, then I'm a bad credit risk!"

"Right, Ace!" he called over to their resident sergeant. "Call 'em in. I want to have Lotus give us a report, something tells me that bat has an idea."

Ace needed no more encouragement than that. With no need of her communicator, she bellowed loudly. "Troops! Return and form up! Return and form up!"

Weak cheers could be heard from deflated bodies strewn about the field, taking their chances at stealing what oxygen they could. The company slowly making an effort to trudge toward the officers with downcast eyes. They had looked bad, and they all knew it. Surely righteous indignation should have propelled them further, but reality is as reality does.

1st Lieutenant Iron Lotus landed with a resounding boom upon the ground in front of Downy. Leveling a cool look at the gathering of soldiers then to her superior officer. A quick curt nod from Downy gave Lotus the permission for what was to follow next.

Ace herself sat with a grim expression of annoyance as the company gasped for air, though inwardly she was a little elated with a self-thought "I told you so" in her mind. If anything, she was looking forward to hearing the Lieutenant enumerate the shortcomings of the rabble that the Captain so staunchly defended.

"I have seen my little sister put forth more effort in the playground, than all of you hear before me, save for the very few who were absolutely determined to get beyond each challenge." the nocturne boomed loudly, almost putting Metric Ton to shame. "So do tell us, what went wrong?"

"We're bout as slick as snot on a door hinge."

"Who said that?" Lotus demanded, stamping towards the now frightened crowd of soldiers, fangs bared.

The wave of troops parted to present on lone, green haired lanky unicorn.

"I uh...I did...sir...ma'am...er sir," he shivered uncomfortably.

"Trick Step, I remember you now. I admire your tenacity to speak your thoughts, but you're wrong. All of you are wrong for believing in him as well!"

She glared at the rest of the bewildered troops. As if to dare them into denying her accusations.

"I want everyone at the pits, now!" she gestured a hoof towards a sad looking pit of muck and grime. "Officers included."

She continued to shout as they marched their way. "Not even half of you made it halfway, and that is your problem! You thought of yourselves, as individuals. We are a unit, a team, and we will work as such."

Gesturing to the mud pit then to the troops, she said. "Note the pit, it doesn't care who you are, what you are, and where you’re from. It cares not for size, or strength. We see it as a hell hole, filled with all matter of muck. A rope that many of you dared not use to get across it. Three ropes to be exact, for a troop of near two hundred."

"Many of you bottleneck here, and after a moment, you decide to just go around it." She turned then barked out. "You might not have that option, and the time to primp yourselves in a combat situation, be it another nation, or the creatures of the forest!"

She turned to observe the mire for a moment, before giving the troops her attention. "Now, you all are proud of your new uniforms, I understand that, but a creature, or an enemy is not going to take a moment to worry over mussing your dress in fear of violating your own military conduct. Now how deep is this trench?"

The troops looked at each other, but showed that they hadn't a clue.

"We begin with the most important commodity of the field, information. Intel. Wouldn't you agree Captain Down Range?"

"I would."

"Good." Then with an unceremonious hoof to the plot. Lotus booted the Captain straight into the muck.

The company blinked in both astonishment and surprise at the lieutenant’s audacity, but the Captain, after a moment of swilling in the mud, slowly stood up and turned to face Lotus. His crisp uniform, spit-shined hoofs, all a casualty of nature as the muck nearly covered his barrel. Slowly he turned and waded through to the opposing side of the trench, not unlike a weight watchers club racing towards an ice-cream sale.

Metric and Gentle couldn't help but grin at the sight of the captain. Lotus couldn't help but notice them grin.

"Lieutenants?"

"Ma'am?"

The ice cold glare of their 1st Lieutenant sent shivers into both their spines, her wing extending to gesture towards the pit. In mere moments, two more immaculate uniforms were sacrificed to the gods of the mire.

"As you can see," she shouted. "It is quicker to wade through the Bog O'Stench than it is to wait in a line and think about it. If team members are too small to cross it successfully, you help them. If you think being pony handled is embarrassing, just imagine that the next target of the enemies’ desire, might be yourself and give in to this small minor indignity to your own persona, rather than suffer a more horrible fate!"

With that, Lotus dived into the mire and turned, gesturing towards Dust Might to climb upon her back. The two of them reaching the other side to accept the assistance of the other officers with climbing out. Behind her, Lotus was glad to see the rest of the troops rushing the trench like lemmings, eager to see what else the nocturne had in mind.

"You kicked me you bat brained piece of brass!" Downy muttered.

"Certainly, you wished for the full experience, so to set an example, I merely complied." Lotus replied with a devious grin.

Lotus assisted the others with gathering the troops from the muck, offering an appreciative smile to the efforts the troops were putting in to getting through this particular course.

"Now, the military likes to test you on an individual basis, I on the other hoof, like to test the company as a whole, and the time score will reflect that, because we need to move as a company in order to obtain an objective."

"If it's in the way, assist each other in moving it out of the way, if you don't have rope, look for it." She gestured to the rest of the obstacles. "Everything you need is there, only if you take the time to quickly observe your surroundings. Logs to form bridges, ropes to help tie them down, or to scale vertical obstacles...now let’s put this course to the test, do tell, how you all would confront one of these many obstacles?"

"Hello Bon Bon!"

The earth pony mare gaped at the mud pony before her (no not in a racial way, but literally caked from hoof to head in mud).

"The obstacle course was a resounding success, and I thought it nice to award the troops." said a somewhat identifiable captain.

"D...Captain Down Range?" Bon Bon nearly went bug eyed as she then regarded the swamp monsters forming outside her confectionary. "When I offered the invite, I didn't mean for you to bring the rest of nature with you!"

""Ahh, just a little confidence building, more than anything, I owe it to Lieutenant Lotus here for having done a great job in boosting their morale!" he gestured to the neighboring sludge monster who regarded Bon Bon with a fanged smile.

"I see you have the gummies with the jelly feelings," the muck monster said. "I would like to obtain a quarter pound for myself."

"Uh...right, please don't get anything on the confections!" replied Bon Bon as she began scooping said candies.

"Wouldn't dream of it, say Ms. Bon Bon! You should join us some time, a bit of that working together and all in the military!"

"Shhh, she'll hear!"

"Hear what?" A mint green unicorn entered in from behind the counter and nearly shrieked. "Grimers! Quick Bonny, I'll fend them off, you get the hose again!"

"Ly-"

"Now, before they envelope us whole and add us to their legion of mire. Their empire mire!"

"Captain...my roomy, Lyra. Lyra, Captain Down Range and the rest of his cohorts back from training...it would seem." Bon Bon grumbled as she watched a glob of mud slowly slop to the ground.

"Surprises aren't always fun, wouldn't you agree?" Downy said with a grin. "Still, I've got a clean list of sweats to have made for the troops post exchange store, and Lotus's order as well."

He extended a sheaf of paper delicately out towards Bon Bon who accepted it. "Don't mind us, we'll be getting cleaned up and back to the base now!"

"Oh joy." Bon Bon watched as Downy left a bag of bits upon her counter, before turning about face and leaving, Lotus closely behind him, enjoying her bag of delights.

"Bonny...what was that all about?" asked Lyra.

Bon Bon groaned.

Lazy Company File - #042

After a good days workout, one that I am proud to say was both physically satisfying, as well as mentally. While Captain Down Range is one for action and clerical duties, the ability to ready a soldier for the field is most certainly my expertise, as drilled into my memories by my mother and father, for once I am proud to usher forth my given title of "Iron".

Treats of course were the captains doing, and I will not complain, especially when confronted by the delicious suckable jelly field gummies, if I have a weakness from childhood, it would be those. Not often do I get to entrench my fangs into such a delicious morsel.

Sweets beside the point, the field exercises most certainly brought to mind a change of opinion. Though the troops are still rough, and in need of much pruning. I dare say, they have proven themselves to be quick witted when challenged, and easily instructed into new avenues of problem solving.

All things must come to an end though, and in this case, it was a matter of the CO having to make a call to the construction crew to rebuild the course, as the troops did rather well with dismantling it in order to access the more difficult sections of the course. This left us with our short stop by agent Sweetie Drops store of confections, followed by our first entrance into the newly rebuilt Fort Everfree.

Captain Down Range certainly had no problem with have a fort that was made for the army soldier. It was well fortified, well stocked, and also offered comforts of home in order to ease the weary mind of the troops.

The "Watering Hole" as it became known, sat comfortably beside the now newly (again0 rebuilt confidence course, as well as the firing range, it also had its own gymnasium, and enough rooms to accommodate a small convention, any other comforts such as spa treatments were relegated to the twins in Ponyville.

Encircling the fort was a reinforced concrete wall, towers offering lookouts a clear view over the Everfree Forest itself. To say it was satisfactory was rather underwhelming, the Fort was quite immaculate, so much so that even the troops hesitated before stepping within the compound, scared that any scuffs of their shoes would cause harm to the pure sanctity of the place.

It was a fort worthy of being called home by the troops.

Author's Note

Take the "Skip It" toy and just imagine Bon Bon's Bon Bon's to that sickeningly repetitive tune!

Yes Lyra know's about H.A.N.D. unit's, no she hasn't seen one up close.

Luck is Blind

History is more often written by the observers, than they are by those who partake in it. This is mostly true with the military due to the unfortunate mishaps that take place upon the field of battle. So much so that what many see it as an unnatural happenstance, to those in the regulars (that's the army mind you), it is merely an unfortunate case of passing away naturally, and yes taking a block of explosives to the face would leave one quite naturally deceased, a rather unfortunate circumstance if there ever was one for the one who desist all lively functions.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am of the Nocturnes, Clan Black Iron, and daughter of Iron Works, the same Iron Works of Iron Works Industry, provider of all the armor to the Royal Military. I, as the eldest child in the family, earned the family name Iron Lotus through trials and tribulations, and neither require nor seek additional titles of address that I have not earned.

That isn't the case for my fellow officer, one current Lieutenant Down Range of the Range family, providers of the newly furnished firearms, who I would also like to note, is my superior, and one whom I have learned to faithfully follow over the years. A faith that was very lacking at the start, if I were to be honest, it doesn't do well to be assigned to an officer the day of his court-martial. To be specific, his first court-martial.

It is here that I shall gladly narrate what I can of this young officers rise through history in both fortune and misfortune, I myself seated at his side, and no, command certainly never did approve of my transfer, and I have come to learn that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Regal is the word that best describes the room, with great swaths of gold and royal purples accentuating the white marble and cherry-red oak furniture. A set of seats are nested along opposing walls, surrounded by an assortment of tables with magazines strewn about their surfaces.

Two individuals shared this space, more at home with each other than with their surroundings. A nocturne mare of average height, dressed in impeccable but conservative armor representative of the Lunar Chapter of their royal majesties army. Her face had the bland expression of one used to waiting as she dominated one sofa, idly staring at a roll of parchment, reading the lines of text as they appeared in a wisp of emerald* and doing her best to ignore her companion.

The other occupant was anything but calm in appearance or manner. Sleek and toned like a running river, with various stones and pearls embedded along his body, the Kelpie was most determined to forever engrave an impression of himself into the floor which upon he tramped in a repetitive circular motion. If gryphon's stood vigil in maternity waiting rooms awaiting the delivery of their young, there would be little difference between their display of anxiety and that shown by the young stallion's nervous prowling. Perhaps phoenixes would be a better comparison, as his uniform was the burning red of the Solar Army-a color chosen not for its aesthetic or camouflage value as much as the fact the dye could easily hide the origins of any military surplus uniform bought in lots by budget-strapped soldiers. Not that he was wearing a standard-issue uniform, mind you. His collar pips marked him as a lieutenant, and like most officers, he had his uniforms tailor-made, though his attitude was currently more somber in comparison to his dress.

"For the love of the sun, they be playing at patty-hooves in their?" a not so subtle polish of kelpish could be heard accentuating his rather unbidden question as he began his twentieth circuit of the room.

For her part, the nocturne on the sofa didn't even glance up as she replied. "It's really not my place to say, sir." It was the first response to any of his muttering, and the lieutenant seize on the words as a focus for his agitation.

"Don't give me that 'subservient officer' rattle. You've gone and shoveled your opinions upon me like a banshee in the wind, whether I wanted it or not, so why wait now?"

Iron Lotus's gaze shifted from her reading to the lieutenant, and with a sigh she said. "Well sir, you have been rather close-minded than usual since joining the Royal Army, sir...In this specific case, however, I was under the impression that what you voiced was a rhetorical question."

"It...well it was, but answer it, anyway. Lotus please, a lad needs something worth hearing, if not to fend off this boorish wait."

Iron Lotus regarded Downy with gentle cat-like eyes, then with careful deliberation, set aside her parchment. "Off the record sir?"

"Off the record."

"Then could you please repeat the question, without the thick accent of your heritage."

"What do you believe is taking them so long?" Downy asked, resuming his prowling albeit more slowly now that he was verbalizing his thoughts. "I mean to say, I did plead guilty after all."

"Do forgive me for belaboring the obvious," Lotus said, "but if the question of guilt has been settled, then what remains is the sentencing. It would seem the court is having some difficulty in deciding precisely what punishment is correct for your offense."

"Well, what's so hard about that? I blundered. Sure. I'm sure other officers have made mistakes as such!"

"True," she replied. "However, I'm not sure how many others have duplicated the hmmm...exact nature and magnitude of your own indiscretion. I am certain that if anyone else had bombarded the ceremonial signing of a peace treaty between the Falconds and Equestria, I would have noted it in the media releases."

Downy grimaced at the memory, slowing his trot around the room. "Not like the sun can see into every shadow! Our communications was on the fritz, so we never received the bucking cease-fire order. Besides, we'd also been ordered to maintain our silence."

"If I am to understand it, you were ordered to stand silent picket duty, noting any gryphon movement throughout the area. No authorization was given to convince the Wonderbolts and the Royal Dragoons to strafe and bombard the opposition."

"Well I sure as tartarus wasn't ordered not to either! They said the battle goes to the side that takes the initiative, the opportunity was there, so I took it!"

Lotus released a gentle sigh, her eyebrows raised expressively. "Battle? I am sure you said that there was no movement nor resistance."

"That's exactly why I moved when I moved. Our instruments showed a drop in the gryphon's defense, so I figured a bit of demonstrative firepower would turn them round ta surrendering to us, and ending the fight early on."

"It was already over sir," Lotus pointed out dryly. "That is why the defensive net was dropped."

"I bloody didn't know that! I saw the def-"

"You saw the defenses lower, and talked a set of hot-shots into commencing a blitz. All in the time it took the captain to go to the loo."

"Bog it all, just a case of communications gone wrong," Downy grumbled, avoiding his comrade's eyes. "How mad could they be anyway? We aimed for property and not people, so not a feather on any gryphon's head was touched."

Lotus stretched her wings, innocently staring at the ceiling as she said. "I'm told the collateral was in excess of a million bits..."

"Well I told em I'd-"

"Also you shot their flag to shreds as it flew over the ceremony..."

"Well, I mean it was-"

"...and of course, taking down the ship was unwise at best. Excuse me, our Highnesses Ship..."

"They didn't have their beacon on!"

"Because of the cease-fire?" Lotus finished with a small toothy grin.

"But...but...sod it! Sod it all!"

Downy dropped down upon the sofa opposite Lotus.

"What do you think they'll do to me?"

"Not to sound disloyal sir," the nocturne said, retrieving her scroll again, "I do not envy them that decision."

Court-martials that involved junior officers generally required the mere presence of only three high officers, one each from the Army, Navy, and Air Force.

It is said that everypony in the military has three names: the one they were born with, the one they choose, and the one they earn. Though the records showed the second, most were known by the third, the nickname they acquired through their personality and actions while enlisted, though few officers formally acknowledged what the lower ranks called them.

Colonel Wolfs Bane was one of those rare cases where her chosen name and nickname were in accord. She was a stern mare, with piercing eyes that left respect, caution, and no small amount of fear in their wake, and the prim no-nonsense cut of her uniform added an implied note of disapproval for those service-ponies who favored more flamboyant styles in their own wardrobes. There was a stern air about her, one could say an intimidating effect which did little to ease those who were in contact with her. Overall, if Celestia gave the presence of a mother chiding a child, Wolfs Bane was the head mistress with the ability to raise an eyebrow while at the same time scuttling a career with a terse notation upon one's personnel file. Her figure was sharp like diamond, a pegasus mare with a heavily dark blue coat that was only accented by her lighter blue mane and tail.

Aside her sat Captain Soarin, co-officer to the Wonderbolts, his presence merely a courtesy on part that Captain Spitfire was currently tending to her wounds from the recent conflict, fortunately a simple case which she would easily recover from.

Across from Soarin, the Navy Admiral Bell polished a monocle with his beard, before magically placing it back over his eye in a rather lackadaisical manner.

They certainly were putting on a brave face, doing their part to ignore the elephant, or rather, the Colonel in the room. One who arrived unannounced from Canterlot specifically to preside over the court-martial, and while she did her best to pass it off as a routine visit, simple logistics dictated otherwise. The implications of this were clear: Canterlot had a special interest in this case and wanted to be sure of its outcome. The problem was neither of the two officers had a clue as to what was expected. While their best guess was that the lieutenant was to be made an example of, they chose by unspoken agreement to proceed with caution. Yet after an hour of playing good cop bad cop, the Colonel had given no indication as to which way she was leaning.

"We could go over the court recordings again." Said Soarin, gesturing to a set of æther crystals.

"What for? Nothing has changed." Admirable Bell muttered. His monocle sparkling, his eyes intensely scrutinizing the other two officers. "I don't know how much longer we can deliberate on this! he is guilty as Discord, I am surprised the Princesses didn't stone him themselves."

"Oh come on, seriously Be-Admiral Bell, you know just as well as I do that the circumstances involved were beyond the norm!"

Soarin had no difficulty playing the good-guy discord's advocate. It was his habit to champion the underdog...and pies, certainly pies, though even this case was trying his own generous tolerances and for good reason. Still, he rose to the challenge with gusto.

"We always complain about how junior's never seem to show enough initiative, and leadership. if we slap them down every time they try to do something, then pretty soon no pony will ever have the courage to take a risk that isn't under orders or by the book!"

The admiral let forth a snort of disbelief. "Incentive! Opportunism is more like it-at least, that's what the media called it, if I remember correctly."

"Dude seriously, media? We really letting them set our discipline these days?"

"Well, no," Bell admitted. "I hate their rhetoric as much as anyone, but we can't completely ignore our public image, either. The Equestrian Military is already considered to be the bottom of the heap, especially after the Changelings. What should have been a shining mark of pride...Soarin we can't let disasters like this have everypony thinking we're a haven for criminals and losers!"

"Oh sure, an enemy of unknown origins, from centuries in the past, gets a good sneak attack on us, and suddenly were the bad guys!" Soarin huffed. "The military has never been a home for choir colts, including, and I'll wager, all of us in this room. We're supposed to be judging this stallion's questionable action, not trying to salvage our reputation!"

"Fin. Let's look at his action. I still don't see any redeeming factors in what he did."

"He inspired one of my own comrades to pull a strafing run, in conjunction with a wing of artillery to rain a heavy bombardment upon the enemy. I know commanders who haven't been able to get that kind of cross-service support even when the pilots were under orders to cooperate. Do you think it's wise to squelch that kind of potential?"

"Ha! Its only luck that has Sgt. Fleet Foot avoiding her own court marshal Soarin. We are talking bout differentiating between 'leadership' and the ability to incite disobedience. What this brat needs is a few years in the stockade to calm him down. Maybe he'll think twice before he goes charging off half-cocked."

"I believe we would rather avoid that option."

Like a fire being snuffed out by a tidal wave, both stallions broke off their argument and turned their attention to the colonel, who had finally entered into the discussion.

"Valid points, many of which have been made, from the both of you, and such sentencing would following in the guide lines of military protocol, certainly, but there are certain... factors to be considered here in which you are not aware of." She paused, as if weighing her next words carefully, while the others waited patiently.

"I am extremely reluctant to bring this up-in fact, I rather hoped it wouldn't be necessary. As you know, each soldier has the right to a clean slate when he or she signs up. We aren't supposed to be biased by, or even be aware of their personal history prior to their enlistment. To maintain that illusion, I'll have to ask that what I say next, is to not be shared with anyone, or else I will be the last pony you see."

The two stallions shivered at the sudden drop of temperature in the room as they gave her a nod in agreement.

"It goes without saying that this young lieutenant comes from money. If he didn't, he wouldn't be an officer."

The others waited patiently for something other than what they already knew. It was known that the military raised money be selling commissions...or rather by charging hefty fees to anyone who wanted to test for one, as opposed to those who rose through the ranks by shear will of force, the Colonel being a good example of this.

"The truth is, have either of you considered the significance of the lieutenants choice of name?"

"Bolt?" Soarin said with a frown. "I mean, I figured it was a reference to lightning, or thunder, or...uh wonder...you know?"

"Figured he assumed himself to be the next Blitzkrieg," the admiral added.

"It is more in context to what one does with a bolt, like firing it at an enemy, or perhaps a target...in a range, Down...Range...to be exact."

"I don't under-"

The colonel sighed and held up a restraining hoof. "Take a moment to study your sidearm, Captain." she said gesturing to Soarin's quick-strap pistol.

Soarin merely shrugged, slapping his hoof to his side, the revolver quickly hooking onto his foreleg, then bringing it up to his face for examination. As he did, a sharp intake of breath proved that he had come to the conclusion that the colonel was hoping for.

"You...you mean"

"That is correct, Captain." Wolfs Bane nodded grimly. "Your Lt. Bolt, is none other than the only son and heir apparent to the current owner and president of Range Works Munitions."

Soarin let forth a low whistle of trepidation, carefully placing his sidearm away. If the colonel was correct, then the lieutenant they were discussing, is considered to be one of the youngest equestrian millionaires in the nation.

After an awkward few moments had passed, the colonel resumed the discussion.

"Now, what we need to consider before reaching our verdict is not only that Range Works is the largest arms manufacturer and distributor in our nation, as well as a powerful trade corporation to our allies, but also the largest single employer of veterans. Thus the question is, who wishes to suffer the consequences of being the officer to put the...axe to this young soldier."

"Er...but I swear the news talked bout both father and son having a bit of a spat over ideals."

Colonel Wolfs Bane fixed Soarin with her coldest stare. "Possibly, but family is family, and I do not want to tread that minefield. Then, too, assuming the lieutenant eventually inherits the company, I wouldn't relish going to him for a job when I retire...not if I was one of the ones who pushed the proverbial button that put him in the stockade."

"If he just resigned..." Admiral Bell muttered darkly.

"True," the colonel replied, unruffled. "But he didn't, and seems intent on staying with the military. You know regulations as well as I do. We can level any kind of punishment we want on a legionnaire, but we can't drum them out of the service. He can resign, but we can't force him to quit."

"What if the sentence was rough enough, he'd resign rather than accept it?"

"Perhaps, but I wouldn't count on it. I, for one, don't like to bluff if I'm not willing to live with the consequences if it's called, as well, his records indicate that he is rather willing to accept any risk and consequence, which makes this all the more difficult."

"Well, something's gotta be done right?" the admiral said. "After all the media coverage he's gotten."

"Change his name?" said Soarin. "I mean, it isn't the first time an officer had to have their name changed to keep the media hounds off his track."

"And how do you hide a spotlight in a cave Soarin?" shouted Bell. "Where he goes, they'll certainly follow."

"We can't let him get off scot-free can we?" Soarin said with a frown. "I mean...after what he's done and all, I feel like we're up against a wall here. Damn, I feel like I've just had my wings clipped...lucky Spits for putting me here, I think she sprained her wing on purpose."

"We cert-...ahem... I certainly wasn't suggesting we let him escape unscathed," the colonel interrupted hastily. "Rather, I think that in this particular situation, it might be best to consider some rather unconventional alternative to the stockade for punishment. Perhaps a new assignment for our dear misfit... a tour sufficiently unpleasant that it would leave no doubt in his or any other ponies mind as to the opinion this court has for his little show."

Silence engulfed the room, as the three officers began to search their minds of a posting sufficient to their needs.

"If...if he were a captain," Soarin thought out loud, breaking the silence, "we could ship him off to an Lazy Company."

"What...was...that...Captain Soarin?" The colonel's voice was suddenly very sharp.

Soarin blinked, as if waking from a dream, jolted into remembering that the court master was from Headquarters.

"I...Nothing, sir. Just thinking er...out loud?"

"Did I hear you correctly, about a Lazy Company?"

"Sir?"

"Do you know anything about this, Admiral?"

"About what, sir?" Admiral Bell said, glaring a curse at Soarin.

The colonel swept both stallions with an icy cold glare before speaking again.

"My dear, dear fellow officers, it would be best that we remind you, that I have been in this career for quite some time, longer than either of you, and I am neither blind nor stupid, and would thus expect you to treat me with respect as earned by an officer."

The other two court members squirmed, withering under her gaze like schoolcolts in the principal's office, as she continued.

"The military is large, and certainly it is not as glamorous as the Royal Guard, a rough shod of malcontents wanting an escape form something in life. We do not get to stand at attention all day for an easy check, nor do we garner the respect of our nation." The colonel stood up from her seat and slowly began pacing. "Now, I know our policy of accepting all applicants, except the worst of the worst of course, has always caused issues for field officers. Despite our loose discipline and regulations, there are always those who don't fit neatly into military life-misfits, losers, malcontents, depending on how polite you want to be when describing them. I am also aware that, in direct disregard for standing orders regarding the treatment of soldiers, from time to time there develops a Lazy Company-a dumping ground for problem cases that field officers are too busy or lazy to deal with. They are usually broken up as soon as they are discovered by command, but like a roach, they continue to pop up, and when they do, the word gets passed quietly through the military until someone inadvertently alerts us, and then the game begins all over again.

Her hooves began to clickity-clack loudly upon the floor.

"I am most aware of all this, gentlemen, and now I shall ask again: Is there a Lazy Company currently operating in the military?"

Confronted by such a direct question, the officers had little choice but to respond, and do so truthfully. Honesty may be waving when dealing with the populace, but when talking to one's own, it is paramount.

"Well..." Bell carefully navigated the conversational minefield. "There is a company that has begun to grow, where soldiers with difficulty adjusting to life within-"

"Oh buck it Bell, a spade is a spade, last I heard from Spits, a number of troops have been sent over to the newly built Ft. Everfree, as no other officer wants to handle that place, nor Ponyville." Soarin interrupted.

"Ahh interesting, the problem child's have been sent to, what the media calls the center of madness." Wolfs bane returned to her seat, and leveled a calm gaze at the other two. "Not only is it home to a princess, the elements bearers, but it also houses the spirit of madness, and seems to have a daily to weekly run-in with unscheduled calamity."

"The uh...CO er the commanding officer there has been rather...lax in screening her transfers..."

"And in everything else, as I recall," the colonel added grimly. "Lax... I like that. There is certainly a future for you in media relations, Admiral."

"Well, the situation may correct itself without the HQ's need to intervene," said Soarin, hoping to evade the stigma of having betrayed their fellow officers to headquarters. "Clouds have it that the CO's tour is over soon, and no one expects him to reenlist. A new CO would probably put a stop to things out of self-preservation."

"Maybe...maybe not."

"If you're worried about reallocating the....problem cases," the captain put in hastily. "I'm sure normal attrition will-"

"I was thinking about our problem of sentencing Lt. Bolt," the colonel interrupted dryly. "If you'll recall, tis the reason for our discussion."

"Yes sir." Soarin said with relief to the changing subject.

"Gentlemen, if I may say," Wolfs bane continued, "was that in light of this new information, I think an earlier suggestion has a degree of merit to it."

It took the other two a moment to follow her a train of thought, but when they finally latched on, they were certainly surprised.

"You mean put him in Lazy?" said Admiral Bell.

"Why not? As was just explained, these companies are a fact of military life. While command generally disbands them as being too easy a solution for our problems, at times they do serve a purpose...and it seems to me the stars truly have aligned for us."

"But the only officer's post available there is-or will be-the CO slot," Admiral Bell spluttered, "That calls for at least a captain!"

"So promote him."

"Promote him!" the admiral nearly choked. "We're going to reward him for fouling up? That doesn't sound right at all."

"Admiral, do consider the following." Wolfs bane smiled. "Would you ever consider taking command of a Lazy Company a reward...even with a promotion attached?"

Admiral Bell made no effort to hide his grimace as he replied. "I...I see your point," he conceded, "but will the lieutenant realize he's being punished? I mean, he's new to the military, he may not know what a Lazy Company is."

"Well then, it is he's job to learn," the colonel said grimly. "So are we in agreement?"

The others nodded in agreement, leaving Colonel Wolfs Bane no other reason to remain. "Then this meeting is adjourned, I shall personally layout the necessary details to our soon to be Captain Down Range, as it were, I also see fit to having his associate, 2nd Lieutenant Iron Lotus increased to the rank of 1st Lieutenant, as I find her level headedness admirable."

"Hey no complaints from me!" Agreed Soarin. "Though...she's got that icy glare that Spits uses...I don't envy anyone getting her on their case!"

"I am also in agreement, from the files I've read, she certainly does have the right to the name Iron." Bell concurred. "If you are handing out the final details of his...punishment. I will need to attend to the airships, and see that we pull out as soon as possible."

"Then it is settled, now if you may, I would like a moments time to consult the sovereigns." Wolfs Bane said. "Seeing as how they were within the bombardment, the two certainly have an interest in the case."

The two officers saluted, and with curt nods, left the meeting room, leaving the Colonel to brood over her next choice of action.

"Caught in it indeed..." she muttered, running a hoof through her blue mane, before tapping a small device. "Send for Lieutenant Down Range and Lieutenant Iron Lotus."

With this decision, made out of desperation, a new chapter would begin for the Equestrian Military, and for Ponyville and its inhabitants. A body needs a spirit, a spirit needs a body, and with this decision, they have been made one, a Lazy Company otherwise known as the Down Rangers of Captain D-Range.

Author's Note

A fun little exercise in narrative writing to help with my own personal writing for the Roan RPG.
Mistakes might appear, and any pointers, will help me better exercise my literary mind.
I do hope you folks enjoy this!
If you want to know more about Roan, just check out the RoanRPG.com, maybe pick up the book!

Chapter 4 Change of Scenery

Lazy Company File - #021

Moving day was the beginning of the company's biggest changes. The normal quarters were to be remodeled, an enormous and expensive undertaking, as far as I am able to discern. Fortunately, the soldiers traveled light, having little personal gear to deal with. This made both packing and storing the company's gear easy, though in comparison, the kitchen proved to be quite an undertaking in and of itself. Though everyone pitched in (as we had non-pony members assisting, I feel the use of everyone to be polite here), we did not begin our actual trek until early afternoon.

To say the troops were herded onto trucks* like cattle would be quite insulting to most bovine, it was nonetheless, a rather apt description of such exercise (and with having observed the way the company conducts themselves in the mess-hall, I fear it is a rather accurate description). I would note that the trucks were of a higher quality than usual, an example of my CO's want of making a good first impression as compared to having a tight-fisted nature.

The trip was rather short, and the soldiers uncommonly high in spirits, skylarking like children on a field trip, playing with their new communicators. Of course the troops I shared a ride with, however, took this as a chance opportunity to speak with me, in a confidential basis, one I am generally all too happy to allow, in order to ease any tension or stress among the unit.

"Scuse me, First Lieutenant Iron Lotus, ma'am."

Lotus looked up from her tablet to regard the soldier who had addressed her, showing a look that was neither hostile nor warm. "Lieutenant Lotus will suffice, soldier. No need to over extend your greetings."

"Sure, whatever. Say, I was just wondering... what can ya tell us bout the Cap?" Sounds like you've both had a little history."

"Certainly, we met in Celtic Square Academy, and I have been a second to him ever since, both respectfully and begrudgingly at times." She regarded the others in the truck who were now listening with curiosity. "You are probably wondering if Captain Down Range is a trust worthy stallion. To the best of my knowledge, he is a rather scrupulously-excuse me, painfully-fair handler in all his dealings, both business and personal. He has my respect because of this and due to his reliability...thus to easily say it, he is quite unbalanced."

"What, you’re saying the kelp is a loon?"

"No I do not mean to say that he is dangerously insane or anything," she amended hastily. "Rather, hmm, I perhaps have chosen the wrong words to keep things simple." She tapped her brow in thought for a moment. "Down Range is unbalanced only in ways that many successful stallions and mares are, that he has a tendency toward the obsessive. It is not a matter of judging how his work fits into his life. Work is life, to him, and he views everything else in the universe in relation to that. Once he has a pet project in mind, he forces all his energies and resources upon it. Frankly, tis my belief that you soldiers are quite fortunate to be in the right place at the right time. So far, even as disastrous as some actions might seem, he never fails once he sets his mind on something."

"Excuse me, Lieutenant Lotus," Ace drawled, "but, I can't help notice you specifically said current pet project. So, what? He gets a new shiny toy and we get the boot?"

"Oh, I am very doubtful of that ever happening. He's rather tenacious once he undertakes an endeavor. As he told you, to give up or take the easy way out, is quitting, and he does not like quitting, unless..."

Lotus allowed the sentence to hang in the air.

"Unless what?"

"Well...your commander is supplied by a near limitless drive, energy that will sweep you along in its wake, even if you choose to only be passive. It would take a rather massive effort on your part to discourage him, in fact, if the company itself chose too, they could essentially stop him in his tracks here and now as a collective in disagreement to his actions."

"...What?"

"He means, we'd have to work the grease to get the CO in trouble enough to call it quits, and honestly, as I see it, sure were a bunch a bums and louts, but he's trying, only fair we try too, never new a kelpie, impressions are pretty good though." said Ace. "But now, taking a little piece of the vine, ain't he the kelpie that blasted the princesses?"

"Certainly." Lotus huffed. "Though the circumstances were set in such a way, that the action taken, proactive as it was, led to a near disaster. Of course it had the benefit of putting a chill in the gryphon's attitudes."

"You're saying he got lucky?"

"Certainly, fortune, good or bad, seems to favor him in awkward moments." Lotus chuckled. "Who would mess with an army that would willingly bombard their own princesses just to attack the enemy?"

"And you say, we're his next obsession?"

The nocturne merely graced them with a smile, the feeling of ice upon every soldiers back following it.

Ponyville is known for being a rather small, and quaint town...it was, until a the bearers of the elements of harmony were discovered, then a god of chaos decided to make it home, followed by a castle sprouting from it not to long afterwards...

Let's amend that last statement.

Ponyville is known for being extremely random and chaotic, without even the need of the god of chaos himself, to which he comments (whines) on a regular bases "I could do it better." The town does rather well with inciting its own brand of insanity without needing his help.

It is perhaps the reason why a military presence was finally established not too far from the town, for all the good it did in raising the citizens’ morale. Rather it was more of a respectful acknowledgement that the town needed a form of security for its citizens. Unfortunately, against the wishes of the princesses, bureaucracy saw fit to place the lowest tier of their budget towards the reinforcing of said locale.

The Ponyville Plaza (such an original name) arrived only a few months after the rise of Princess Twilight's Castle. It certainly upstaged the rather quaint homes that surrounded it. Glossy paint adorned the Plaza walls, allowing it to shimmer in the sunlight, only being slightly outdone by the naturally blinding crystal architecture of the princesses own castle. Though not for lack of trying, the hotel certainly indulged in the rich upper-class who felt the unnecessary need to grace the lowly town with their grand presence in order to have an audience with Princess Twilight Sparkle, much to her chagrin.

The Plaza stood stoically, ignoring all the issues around it, like a mother of a dozen foals during summer break. Such calm was shattered, however, by the arrival of the first truck from the convoy of troops, which eased into the loading zone in front of the Plaza and disgorged its cargo of soldiers and duffel bags. Downy was, of course, in the lead vehicle, and left his charges to struggle with their personal gear as he greeted the front desk.

"May I help you, sir?" the desk clerk asked, nervously eyeing the gathering mob visible through the front door.

"Yes, I'm Down Range. I believe I've a reservation, hundred rooms plus penthouse?"

The clerk hesitated a moment before flipping through a set of logs...coincidentally placing herself farther away from Downy's reach.

"Sir, I have it here. Down Range...the penthouse."

"And a hundred rooms."

"I'm...I'm sorry, it doesn't show anything more than the penthouse."

Was it her, or did Down Range's smile seem too tightened, almost showing the kelpish fangs of his canines.

"Could you check again...please? I am sure I made the reservation a week ago."

"Yes sir, it uh...it seems to have been canceled."

"By...Whom..."

The mare shrank further away from him as she squeaked. "I'll...the manager, I'll have you speak with him sir. Please just wait a moment."

Without warning, the clerk bolted from her desk, galloping for a set of doors behind her desk, leaving Downy to fidget impatiently as the lobby behind him began to fill with more and more soldiers.

Bonjour, a younger mare than most to wield such title and power as that of a hotel manager, made her way out the door, clerk in tow behind her. She ruled the Plaza with an iron hoof, and though the employees chafed under her tyranny, they were nonetheless grateful for her unshakable certainty when crisis struck, as so often does within the hotel business of the elite world. Many a wave of tired, angry travelers had broken against this rock of a mare without moving or altering it in the slightest, though she had never met the white water rapids that is the kelpie known as Down Range.

"Pardon monsieur, I am to reason, that there is trouble between the hotel and yourself?" she asked politely, her voice like wind chimes in a calm breeze, phrench very strong in her accent. "I am Bonjour, and hope I can be of service to you."

"Yes, Mrs. Bonji. I am Captain Down Range, and I would like to know the reason as to why my reservation of a hundred rooms was canceled." replied Down, he gave the mare a quick look over, her earth pony build was light, yet sharp like an arrow, obviously a fencer with speech. Her mark, a small fan, adorned her rose colored flanks.

Safely hidden behind the line of fire, the desk clerk struggled not to snicker too loudly. Downy had inadvertently hit upon the staff's nickname for Bonjour...Bonji...though, until now, none dared utter it to her face.

"That is...Bonjour, sir...and I had to cancel the reservations myself."

"Oh, and why is that Bonji?"

The mare gritted her teeth ever so slightly as she answered. "Certainly, I assumed it to be not only a typographical error on the part of whoever placed the reservation, but also as ordered by the owner of this establishment, Jet Set." The manager gave a smug smile, which was not returned. "Realizing the cost of a hundred of our rooms for a period of several weeks would be...prohibitive, and not being sure if such request was for ten rooms, I proceeded with the cancelation as advised. Though I did choose to accommodate you on site according to your actual needs."

"I assume you ran a check on the credit account that accompanied the reservation?"

"Indeed monsieur, it would be irresponsible not too, as I said, the cost was seen as being prohibitive."

With a slight of hoof, the kelpie made a pass, dropping his credit account card upon the desk for the manager to observe. "I think this should settle the question."

To Bonjour's credit, she neither gaped, nor cringed at the sight of the card, examining it carefully in her hooves, noting the texture and weight which signified the card to be a mythrilium express card. With calm movements, she examined the signature on the back, weighing her options. Despite her outer calm, a war waged within her, one of profit, and fear that she had bitten a little more than she could chew.

"I...see, sir." she said slowly.

"Now that I'm here, on site, as you put it, shall we proceed with accommodating my needs then? What I need, is the hundred rooms I reserved."

Bonjour was quite aware of the crowd now. Since seeing the mythrilium express card, she began to weigh the potential windfall of business against the horror of admitting a full company of soldiers into such an esteemed establishment. More so, she wondered how well Mr. Jet Set would take to knowing that, such unscrupulous types were now making home within his hotel. The realization of such notion meant that she had to unfortunately weather the coming storm.

"I'm sorry, I cannot accept this at this time, as we do not have enough room available to grant your request, and due to the decorum established by sir Jet Set, I would be placed in a difficult position to allow...the military to hold space here."

The manager was well and ready for any burst of anger at that announcement, though the last thing she expected was to see Downy smiling, putting a fumble within her game.

"I wish not to argue Bonji..."

"Bonjour!"

"...since, you see, the tablet I used to place my order told me that, of your hundred and seventy five rooms, barely a dozen are currently in use. Instead, I shall point out three possible solutions to our little impasse. First, I could bring a complaint against Jet Set and the hotel under the law which states that you can't refuse lodging to anyone on basis of race, religion, sex, species, or occupation...course that would be annoying as all Tartarus, and leaves me unsatisfied in my mind. Second, you can run my account, and begin passing out keys, but of course if Jet Set continues to be an issue. Third then..."

Here Downy smiled deviously.

"...I can buy this hotel out from under Jet Set, and hope that you will proceed with better judgment when it comes to the law, over a bigoted owner’s interest...or else I'll personally begin looking for a new manager."

It was so casual, so easy, and so smooth, that it left Bonjour sweating in place...slightly, but she was also aware of the obvious lack of knowledge behind the third solution Down had voiced, and rallied gamely behind that.

"...What I mean to say, sir, was that, due to the low occupancy, which you were kind enough to reference before, we are currently understaffed to accommodate such a large party in the manner the Plaza is generally famous for, and, rather than tarnish its reputation, I would be happy to suggest to you alternatives. As to the prospect of purchasing the Plaza"-the manager allowed herself a minor smile-"I'm afraid that comes off as a rather hollow threat. You don't seem to be aware that we are not singly owned per say, but are part of a chain of hotels, which is, in turn, owned by a rather large conglomerate. I doubt you could interest them into negotiations over a single unit."

Down shook his head in dismay. "To be fair Bonji..."

"Bonjour!"

"...I'm afraid it is yourself that is unaware of the situation. Your chain is held by Upper Set, and of course Jet Set and Upper Crust, being head of the offices of *ahem* Up-Set, are due for a meeting with their board, which is happening in a few weeks. Now, they are in quite a spot, due to stretched bits, having recently created a new resort in Marexico, and the contractors have gone on strike. Not exactly promising, and if they don't come up with some ready cash to buy them off fast, the whole project will go up in flames. I think he'll be more than happy to accept any offer I give him. Or be appreciative of a surprise influx of monetary funding, drawn from my accounts, to fulfill the simple task of housing my troops here for a temporary amount of time."

Bonjour suddenly felt very light headed, but Down was far from finished.

"I should also point out, that my mentioning this option, that isn't a threat. Now, sure I could buy this place, but the paperwork involved is a pain, a waste of my time, which means my troops time are then being wasted, and waiting around for a bunk. This means to them, I went back on my word, and it further embarrasses me in front of my new command because of your silly-ass games. Now hear this, once your fired, I'll ensure your inability to work anywhere outside of Ponyville, at least till you gain a little humility. I'll do that by purchasing any company you apply at, I'll block your ability of even leaving this place by purchasing every train ticket, airship, and coach for the next year. That my dear lass, is a threat. Note the difference?"

"I...I do, monsieur."

"Great!" Downy offered her a friendly smile. "So then, I'm sure after this little chat, you'll agree that it is wisest to release those rooms to us, bring the staff up to proper levels, and merely move things along. I'll be more than happy to settle the balance for said staff, as I do like to think that I am a generous pony."

Bonjour maybe pompous, but she is not stupid. Even a rock had to survive, and ocean waves new when to retreat from the shore. Clearly it was in her best interest, for her own survival, to not enter into a personal feud with a mega millionaire. A quick discussion with her mental board of directors quickly led to a final conclusion.

"Clerk, pull the other staff to position! A hundred registration cards are needed as well as two keys per room...file the guests from top floor down and bypassing the poolside units. Issue the keys ONLY after each card is filled out so that everything is documented." She quickly turned, leveling a polite smile to Down. "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Certainly, second lieutenants, front and center!" snapped Down. "I want you paired off, and I want you both to oversee the room assignments. As well, you both shall be in the room nearest the penthouse, I myself will utilize my room as a headquarters, and Lieutenant Iron Lotus shall also accompany me. Do not have the troops unpack, as well be changing room assignments as partners are formally made. Mrs. Bonjour."

Down turned his attention to the hotel manager. "If Jet Set makes any complaint, you alert me, and I will see to it that this hotel is no longer a problem for him, I'm rather sure he will indulge in gouging me of my bits, but I want things to move smoothly."

"Yes monsieur!"

"Troops!” he shouted loudly, earning the attention of every soldier within the lobby. "Assist the valet before he faints. He shall show you all to your rooms, but he is not-I repeat, not-to help them with their gear other than to make any baggage carts available for use. As well, Mrs. Bonjour, I will be sure that all staff is tipped adequately."

"Now, Mrs. Bonjour, I understand the purpose of this hotel, but its attitude has not brought it any friends from the town, nor does it seem its...occupants want to share in any of that joy. I would suggest, even if you must hide it from Jet, that this hotel be a little more open and friendly towards all guests, or else it will certainly sink below the black line and drown in the red, it is merely my advice, as the Princess herself has been rather perturbed as of late by the guests you generally house here."

"Er...wi monsieur, I will certainly endeavor to- What is it Cream?" Bonjour huffed at a stallion prodding her side.

"There is a...zebra poking about my kitchen! Dressed like one of these!" The chef shook an accusing hoof at the uniformed troops tromping about the lobby. "I demand he be removed at once! I cannot work with such strangers getting in my way!"

Bonjour cried internally at the unfairness of the world. The last thing she now wanted, was another duel with Down Range, so soon after their last clash, but she certainly couldn't offend their top tier chef, either.

"Er...monsieur, if you could please?"

"No trouble, and begging your pardon...er Cream?"

"Cream Puff, chef of this establishment." he's words were sickeningly sweet with the taste of a fake Marisian accent.

Downy tried not to snurk to loudly. "Ahh, that might be our chef Tandoori, from what I've learned, he is a stickler for cooking good food, rather...serious about his cooking that one, and I did send a requisition that he improve the units food, though he may have taken it a little too far. If you'd let me explain..."

"Pardon my interruption." said a wiry built zebra, his short cut Mohawk whipping back and forth as he looked to each other pony. His stripes showed his zebra nature, but his wings showed Pegasus in his blood, a series of spices adorned his flank. "It was not my intention, to cause such disruption. My apologies if you'd please, accept it, and be at peace."

"My, so polite!" Bonjour beamed, happily clapping her chef on the shoulder. "No harm has been done, none at all. He has apologized!"

"As he should," Cream snorted haughtily. "Imagine...a no-talent Army Mixmaster...in my kitchen."

Tandoori's eyes sparkled for a mere moment, but he held a grand smile. "Please. Accept my..."

"Now just a moment." Down turned to face Cream Puff, his expression sharp. "Yes, our Mess Sergeant was out of line, and he apologized for it. I will not, however, accept any insult to my fellows, not from anyone. You have not sampled his fixings, and so I would expect you to offer more respect as one chef to another. He may not be as skilled, but he is certainly no mug washer. I want an apology!"

Again Bonjour felt that feeling of hopelessness begin to rise as the two ponies eyes met.

"Hah! Before an apology could be given, he would have to show me that I am wrong...that he can tell a mixing bowl from a porcelain throne!"

"Ahh, I see," Down replied. "Mrs. Bonjour, I'd like to rent your restaurant and kitchen for a full day...say, day after tomorrow? Tandoori will require it to prepare the food for our company."

"My kitchen?" the hotel chef shrieked. "You cannot-"

"I'm afraid the cost would be-" Bonjour was cut off.

"Five thousand bits should cover it," the commander finished. "Course, we'll provide our own supplies. The current kitchen help can have the day off, with pay, except..."

He turned to address the chef directly. "You! You're gonna personally sit and watch at double your day's wage, but only if you're present at the kitchen to sit and observe our Mess Sergeant Tandoori. You are invited to join us for dinner, at which time you will be given ample opportunity to tender your apology to Mess Sergeant Tandoori, do you accept?"

The chef gaped, merely nodding in consent.

"Right! Tandoori, make a list of what troops you want to assist you, then give it to Ace, or C.G.!"

"Aye, boss? You need sumthin?" the supply sergeant boomed, having been loitering nearby throughout the entire exchange.

"You're excused from normal duty tomorrow. Get a list from our cook as to what he needs in the way of supplies, and get him whatever he asks for....top of the line. Clear?"

"As crystal Cap!" C.G. lowered his voice. "You sure bout this boss? Tandoori’s good, but uh...you haven't seen him when folks criticize his food."

"I trust Tandoori, so have a little faith!" he patted C.G. on the shoulder. "Positive waves, it does everyone good. Sides I won't let some outside mouth off at one of our own without doing my best to see he gets his own licks in return!"

"Sure thing boss, us against them, eh? I'll see what I can do, Ponyville market always has a nice supply, maybe even hit the sweets shop, and the nice mare there is always greeting us along with her doll!"

"Cool, I'll get that hog rolling soon as I can, sir!"

"Good, see that you do." Down turned his attention to the Plaza's maître d'. "Now, I'm sorry about that Mrs. Bonjour. I hate to have to make more trouble than its worth for you."

"No, no, the solution, though exotic, is more than generous under the circumstances. Would you like the keys to the penthouse now? The quiet may do you wonders."

"Sadly you're right, but it's a luxury I can't enjoy. My 1st Lieutenant, Iron Lotus, will collect the keys and see to getting my gear settle. Till then, she will be in command while I pay my respects to a few key folks here in this town."

"The mayor?"

"One of them," he managed a weak smile. "The police...more importantly."

"We have a police?"

Downy sighed. "Yes, unbeknownst to everyone here in the town it seems."

Author's Note

*In this era of the world, technology is intermixed, though the highest form of the worlds tech is comparable of that to the 1940s and extremely early 50s. You'll also note a 90's like sprinkle of tablet technology, more akin to the early day PDA's with their bland, Gameboy like colors, only well enough to present textual information and black and white images of rather low resolution.

Imagine ye olden days of Prodigy :P I do, and pre 56k internet was sadness D: