Sunset Shimmer: Student of Magick

Orchid looked off in some way, as though she had suddenly taken ill. Sparky was unable to place it, but her Mage Sight for emotions - even when she did not actively look at them - told her that her friend's guilt was returning. Orchid was pale, her eyes at once vacant yet heavy with regret. She was leaned back in her seat, her hands balled into fists and placed on her lap.

Taking a seat next to her, Sparky asked, "What's wrong?"

"I just found out I made a real big mistake." Orchid's voice was flat.

Sparky's imagination shot to the most obvious. "Did Rarity figure out we weren't doing homework?"

"I wish." She looked to be on the edge of tears, emotion creeping into her words.

Pearl had returned to their table while Sparky was out walking. She wore a concerned expression, tinged with sympathy, as she looked at Orchid.

"Ah'm so sorry fer that, hayseed. Ah thought ya knew. Do ya wanna call it a night?"

"Please." The tears finally started. "I'm so sorry. I ruined everything again."

"What—"

Pearl stopped Sparky's question. "We'll talk at the house. Ace, Ah'll take Midnight with me."

Sparky had forgotten he and Clash were still with them. Ace only nodded, saying, "Thanks. I'll pick her up by the afternoon."

While Midnight shared a quick hug with her brothers, Sparky helped Orchid to her feet. Pearl and Sparky had to guide Orchid - whose faculties seemed limited to the most basic of actions - to the wall of the Great Hall and toward the entrance. Thankfully, most of the tables were engaged in their own discussions or their food and did not notice them. The few to glance at them seemed not to be interested and immediately turned their attention to something else. Midnight followed closely, saying nothing.

Kibitz was still at the name tag table and wished them a good night without commentary. Sparky was willing to bet that the manner of their departure would reach the Hierarch by sunrise. Though he had never given her cause to believe that he was anything other than a reasonable man, she worried that he would be offended.

As the valet pulled the car to the curb, Midnight requested the front seat. It was just as well, given that Sparky already planned to sit with Orchid for the ride.

Pearl's superb driving meant that they barely noticed the ride itself, which passed in silence. Until they turned into the drive, Sparky's full attention was on the dark snarl of guilt surrounding Orchid's spark. It had not grown, but all the strength Sparky once burned from it had returned in force. Rather than fight it as she had, Sparky monitored and investigated the tangles, noting how they seemed to originate deep inside Orchid's colourful spark of self.

'If she just found out something tonight, then it must be something else. Is it still related to Anon-A-Miss, or does she think she did something else? Then again, it's related to whatever Pearl said while I was outside, so it has to be new.' Sparky knew she would be receiving more information soon, yet the drive to know what was causing her friend a second bout of such anguish pushed her thoughts in circles.

Sparky felt Pearl kill the engine. She blinked, only then noticing they were already home.

At least Orchid could walk on her own. Sparky tried to maintain a companionable proximity, avoiding overt contact. They settled on Sparky's couch, Pearl arranging small glasses of lemonade for them.

After a few sips, Orchid was able to meet Sparky's eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Sparky's cup stopped halfway to her lips.

Sweetie Belle - Orchid was long gone - immediately dropped her gaze, curling into herself as though expecting some physical assault.

"What-" Sparky began to ask, but was stopped by Pearl laying her hand on Sparky's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Ah estimate about four months. Seems she didn't know. Ah noticed when Ah was lookin' at somethin' else 'n asked her about it.

"Ah know yer worried about Orchid 'n wanna help her. That's good, but remember she ain't got no obligation ta tell ya anythin' she don't wanna say. Ya hear me?"

Hesitantly, Sparky nodded. "I understand."

"Good. Ah'm gonna take Midnight ta the house 'n let'cha have yer privacy. If'n y'all need me, come 'n get me. Ah don't care if Ah'm sleepin' or not, got it?"

She waited for Sparky’s nod of affirmation, then took Midnight's hand and headed for the connecting door. Midnight paused at the threshold and turned back to Orchid. "I'll always use my magick to help you if you need it. Good night."

When only the teenagers remained, Sunset Shimmer returned from her hidden place. She sat next to her friend and placed a hand on her back, causing Sweetie Belle to flinch. Undeterred, Sunset left her hand where she had placed it for a few seconds before giving a light back rub. Her actions prompted no response.

"Do you want to tell me anything? I won't try to force you, and I won't tell anyone else unless you say it's okay." When there was still no response, she added, "You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. I won't judge you."

A few sniffles answered her that were followed by quiet words. "I didn't ever think about it. I was just so mad that I wanted to do something." She shook her head. "I knew this could happen, but I didn't think about it. I think I just didn't care."

Rather than ask questions, Sunset applied a little more force to the back rub, feeling muscles tensed as though ready to flee. She was tempted to use her magick again, but she resisted in the hope that Sweetie Belle would talk.

It took some time, but she did finally continue. "What are my family going to say to me? How do I explain it? I messed up really bad again ... they won't forgive me this time."

"Would you like me to go with you?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Everything will be fine until you leave."

Her curiosity piqued, Sunset decided to risk a single question. "Do you want to tell me what you mean?"

The sniffles continued. "When they find out ... I don't know what they'll do. Mum and dad and Rarity are going to be so mad at me, and I know I deserve it, but I'm still afraid." She clenched her hands into fists, driving her nails into her palms. "Why can't I just stop doing stupid things and be good? What's wrong with me?"

"Sweetie Belle, I can't imagine how scary this is. Yes, they'll be sad about it, and they'll probably get upset, but they love you a lot, and they'll do anything they can to help you. It'll be hard, but the longer you wait, the harder it'll be to tell them and the worse it’s going to hurt."

"No! I can't tell them. Please don't make me. I'll ... I can get it taken care of and then no one else has to know."

"What do you mean?"

The reply was stuttered but coherent. "A-Abortion."

Sunset froze, which drew Sweetie Belle's attention from her boots. Whatever expression was on Sunset's face seemed to terrify the younger teen, who squealed and fell to the floor in an attempt to escape. She was squeaking "Please, please" on a loop, holding her arms in front of herself, as though attempting to create a barrier.

'You're an idiot.'

It could have been either voice; Sunset agreed completely with the statement.

"Sweetie Belle, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you, and I'm not going to do anything, I promise. Please don't be afraid of me."

Whether the words or the tone reached the quivering ball of fear, they seemed to penetrate and she lowered her arms. "Your face. Why did you look like you were going to hit me?"

"I promise you that idea never crossed my mind. I was surprised, and I didn't know how to reply."

"You looked mad."

Sunset finally understood why Princess Celestia was always sighing when she was alone or at least with only a few trusted ponies. The teen sighed under her breath as she knelt on the floor to face the girl she called a friend, yet was traumatising at every turn. She left space between them, worried that a sudden approach would only revive Sweetie Belle's fear of imminent harm.

"I had a very bad memory that came up before I could stop it. I was mad at the people from the memory and let you see something that wasn't for you. Can you forgive me?"

Rather than answer the question, Sweetie Belle asked her own. "Memory? Did you ever...?"

It took a moment for the unfinished question to resolve itself. Sunset forced her face to remain in her control, though she still felt herself blush. "No, I've never been pregnant or anything like that. I haven't even ... you know. It's something else."

'Tell her,' her other self whispered. 'She'll trust you more. If you tell her, she'll be more compliant.'

'I don't want to force my opinions on her. She needs to be able to make her own decision.'

'You would be telling her one of your deepest secrets. Impress that on her and she'll follow you like a puppy.'

'Why do you keep suggesting that? I don't want to own her, I want to be her friend.'

Her other self gave a mocking laugh. 'Same thing. Piss on it to claim it. Tell her what happened to you. Even foolish sentiment would recognise the value of that. Aren't you closer to Pinkie Pie now that you share deep secrets?'

Some part of Sunset wanted to reject anything the other voice suggested, turning left when it said she should go right. Another part of her knew that rejecting advise - even from a dangerous source - without thought was never a good idea. That other part had seen the interior of the Equestrian Parliament and knew that even the most benevolent had to choose the least evil at times.

"Sweetie Belle, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone. Not Princess Celestia or Twilight or anyone or anypony else. Is that okay?"

"I won't tell, I promise."

With a shake of her head, Sunset replied, "I'm telling you because I already trust you, and I think you should know. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

This time, she allowed herself a sigh. "When I was really young - I don't remember how old exactly, but I was pretty much still a foal - my parents kicked me out of our house. Even then, I knew they didn't want me. If they didn't hit me or yell at me, they'd pretend I wasn't there.

"Anyway, they took me on a trip far away from our home and dropped me at a forest that was known for having a few monsters. It wasn't anything like the Everfree Forest, but it would have been enough to make sure a foal you don't want would never be seen again. That was where I got my Cutie Mark, because I was determined to survive.

"When I finally got to a town, I tried to find somewhere to go. I travelled for a few weeks before Princess Celestia found me and took me as her student. During that time, a few stallions tried to ... take advantage of me. They never succeeded, but a few were close.

"The reason I was upset is that before the mare that foaled me left me in a forest to die, she told me that she wished I had never been born. That she wished she had gotten an abortion instead."

When Sunset finished speaking, Sweetie Belle gave her a tackle hug, tears flowing. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you remember that."

Sunset had seen it coming and was able to hold her ground to return the embrace. "Don't apologise for that. You didn't know about that part of my past. It's one of the major reasons I did the things I did later, since I wanted to succeed and prove to that mare and stallion that they were wrong, that I wasn't useless weight."

The hug continued, Sweetie Belle apparently content where she was. Their position was a little uncomfortable, but Sunset's regular emotional sense showed that while the girl was still a mess, she did seem to be more balanced. At least the story had distracted Sweetie Belle's self-destructive thoughts and fears.

"I didn't tell you that to say that you shouldn't consider having an abortion if you think that's your best option. What I think shouldn't matter for this, okay? You're my best friend, and I'll support any decision you make without judging you."

"I can't do something like that. What if this baby would grow up to be someone amazing like you?"

As much as Sunset wanted to give a smart-arse response, it would be the opposite of helping the situation. She released Sweetie Belle, who reciprocated and leaned back, finally looking at Sunset again.

"Please don't make a decision like that based on my story, Sweetie Belle. I want you to think about your options. When you decide, I'll do anything I can to help. If you decide to abort it, I'm sure I could make arrangements for you so your family would never know."

It was true. Sparky had a Consilium Boon available that would easily cover it.

At the mention of her family, Sweetie Belle shrank again. "I really don't want to get rid of it, but I can't tell them about it. What do you think I should do?"

With a shake of her head, Sunset replied, "I won't answer that, even if it makes you hate me, because I can't. You have to decide on your own. I'll help however I can after you do that. And remember, Midnight said she would help you, too."

Sweetie Belle looked at the floor again. "If I do get an abortion, no one else would know except you, Pearl, and Midnight, right? But if I do, I think I would feel like I'm ... killing it."

"I got the feeling you were leaning toward that before I told you what my mother told me. If I remember the health classes correctly, it's still not even really recognisable. Plus, I think feeling guilty depends on the person. Some women end up thinking 'I killed it,' but others don't."

"Even thinking about it makes me feel bad, Sunset, but I also don't want to tell anyone else. Yeah, I kinda thought about it again after what you said, but it doesn't feel right."

"Okay, what about adoption? There are all sorts. You could give the baby to someone else and never see it again, or you could be an 'aunt' or something in-between. I'm pretty sure you can even choose the parents.

"Unless I'm missing something, the only other choice is keeping it. It would be hard, but you'd have friends and family to help and ... what?"

"Yes," Sweetie Belle exclaimed, an excited grin on her face. "I really do want to keep it."

Sunset found herself smiling right along with her. She moved next to Sweetie Belle and placed an arm around her friend. "If you're sure that's what you want, then I'll do anything I can to help."

"There's one thing you can do, if that's okay."

"What's that?"

"If I suddenly move away for a while or change my mind, can you remind me that I really want to keep her?"

"What if you really change your mind? I'd be pushing you into something. You have months yet."

With a mirthless chuckle, Sweetie Belle replied, "That's true, but I meant that I'm probably going to move away by myself for a while, and I probably won't have the baby when I come back. I don't know if it'll be adopted or abortioned."

'What a scaredy cat,' Sunset's other self whispered. 'Gods, it's like her family will throw her away. Even I know better than that; those sappy love freaks are going to cry and hug her.'

'Shut up. Of course she's overreacting.'

'Bah. I'm going back to my corner. Wake me when something interesting happens.'

"I promise I'll remind you, Sweetie Belle, but only if I really think you didn't change your mind." She attempted to make her voice as soothing as possible.

"You can use magick to tell the difference if you want. I really wanna keep her."

"Can you tell me why you want to? It hasn't even been a few hours. Why wouldn't you change your mind next week?"

"I want to hold her and play with her. Dirty diapers will probably be annoying, and I know I might have to leave school, but I don't mind. I want to make my baby happy and let her know that I'll love her even if she makes a lot of mistakes. I don't think I can do that if I send her away. Then it's like she'd grow up with other people and think she was a mistake."

"You don't think you made mistakes in getting pregnant in the first place?"

As soon as the words had left her mouth, Sunset cringed. The question had not been phrased as she had meant it.

Sweetie Belle did not seem to mind it. "Yeah, I shoulda thought about it, but it's too late. It's not her mistake, and I want to be the one to tell her that."

Sunset retrieved their glasses of lemonade, which they both drained before continuing their talk. "How did you not notice? If Pearl's right, you should be about four months along."

"I know I can be an airhead," Sweetie Belle observed. "I just ... didn't notice. It's not like I've gotten any bigger yet, either. I don't remember all of the signs they told us in class, but I haven't really had any of them. Well, uh, except for ... you know, monthly, but I just didn't notice, I promise."

"Sweetie Belle, you and your friends can't act to save your lives. Besides, I'm a Warlock: I know how surprised you were." With a deep breath, she asked her final question. "Will you tell me who the father is?"

The blush intensified. "I'm kinda surprised you can't figure it out. It's not like I hang around that many boys."

'Boys? Okay, so at least it wasn't an adult, and she doesn't seem like it was non-consensual, so that eliminates my biggest worry. So who else?'

Sunset let out a gasp of realisation. "Button Mash?"

Sweetie Belle nodded. "We became friends in Grade Five. I thought his games were cool, and I really liked the beany he always wore. Scootaloo didn't like him much at first, but they got to be friends by the time we finished primary school. When I was in the hospital, he'd come and visit me.

"I started high school when I got out. We were in a lot of the same classes, which made me happy since I thought he was kinda cute." She squeaked, now turned from white to cherry red, which almost made her look like a younger version of Pearl. "Anyway, I started hanging out with him again like I used to.

"Mum and Dad were always going on trips; once Rarity started hanging out with all of you, she stopped wanting me to be around. Apple Bloom has to do a lot of chores, so there are plenty of times that she can't hang out. Even if I like some boyish things, I'm not really into a lot of sports like Scootaloo, so I'd go hang out with Button a lot. His Mum's really nice, too. So, yeah, that's kinda how we got here."

Even Sunset could feel herself blushing. She gave Sweetie Belle's knee a gentle squeeze. "Okay, I think I understand. Do you want to go to bed? We can talk more tomorrow, after we've had some sleep."

"Okay."

The girls changed into pyjamas, the normal pre-bed routine apparently soothing to Sweetie Belle. The girl was nearly sleeping on her feet by the time Sunset pulled back the sheets of her bed. "Do you mind sharing with me? I can sleep in the living room."

"I'd like to sleep together, if that's okay. I think I'll be able to sleep a lot better."

With a smile, Sunset crawled under the sheets and allowed Sweetie Belle to wrap her in a hug. Despite her many fears, the girl quickly passed into sleep and left Sunset to think.

She had much to consider.