Sunset Shimmer: Student of Magick

Sunset woke feeling giddy and ready to float to the ceiling. Beneath the happiness was pain that she ignored. A steady beeping of machinery irritated her ears, but it was not painful. She opened her eyes slowly to behold a white ceiling and white walls, all of it sterile and boring. At least there was a window that offered a view of the dark night sky.

A light snoring that was just audible over the beeps alerted Sunset to her company. Moving her head was complicated due to a brace around her neck, but she was able to accomplish looking in the direction of the noise and saw Pearl in a recliner that had to be the most uncomfortable chair Sunset had ever seen. That was something, as she remembered the one on which she had slept when Pixie was born. Regardless, Pearl looked to be soundly sleeping, a thin blanket pulled over her form.

Pearl snorted as she woke, her eyes opening to look at Sunset. The older Mage smiled, sitting upright and tossing the blanket to the side.

"Welcome back."

Sunset tried to reply, but her mouth was dry and she could only croak. Pearl filled a plastic cup with water, inserted a straw, and held it to Sunset's lips. The young woman drank greedily. She felt that her tongue had mostly returned to normal after the second cup.

"How long have I been out?" Sunset spoke just above a whisper, worried any volume would irritate her throat.

"A little over a day, haystack. The accident was last night."

"Thanks for being here." For some reason, it was hard to process thought. Her mind was cloudy, but Sunset remembered that she had not been alone in her car. "Where's Sweetie Belle?"

Pearl's eyes turned down. "She's a couple of rooms away. She wasn't hurt bad - just a twisted ankle 'n some other bruises, maybe a small concussion - but she ain't wakin'. Doc's not sure why not, so they hooked her up ta machines."

"Can you feel what's wrong with her?"

"Ah checked her body; she's fine other than gettin' a little banged up. It's in her heart. Somethin's got her mighty weighed down. Ah even called a Warlock ta take a look, but she ain't lettin' anybody in without a fight. We've been waitin' fer ya ta wake up so ya could try gettin' ta her."

Thoughts were slow but still worked. The main point was that her best friend needed help. That was all Sunset needed to hear.

"I'll do my best. I feel like my magick is stronger or that it makes a little more sense now."

"That's the 'Gnosis' Ah told ya about. Did ya dream of yer magick?"

"I did. I'll need to talk about it with you later, if that's okay."

Pearl gave her a big smile. "Ah'd be happy ta help. Those Gnosis dreams don't always make sense right away."

"Thanks, Pearl. I'll try my magick now."

Pearl laid a hand over Sunset's. "If'n ya have trouble, let me know."

Sunset nodded, then attempted to project her mind out of her body. She felt the mundane world start to fade as their inner sparks gradually turned from fuzzy to sharp. While she could see Pearl's radiance next to her, Sunset could not reach beyond herself as she normally did.

The hospital reappeared. She groaned.

"I can't float away."

Pearl traced one of the tubes connected to Sunset's arm and found the rolling clasp the controlled the drug's flow.

"It's probably the drugs. Ah can turn off the morphine 'n clear it outta yer body, but yer gonna hurt like the dickens."

"I'm on morphine?"

"Yer leg's busted pretty bad. Ya also got a few cracked ribs from yer seatbelt, 'n lots of sprains 'n deep bruisin'. It'll be a long time before yer back ta runnin' around with the other young'uns.

"Ah can help ya heal faster, but ya won't be able ta talk ta Sweetie Belle tonight. It'd be major work no matter what; even Ah'd have ta charge ya fer it."

It was tempting. Sunset had never been so badly hurt, even including the stabbings and her foalhood trek through a dangerous forest. She did not look forward to weeks of painfully slow recovery that would likely include rehabilitation. Still, Sweetie Belle was far more important.

"We can talk about that later. Go ahead and turn off the medicine. I don't want to keep Sweetie Belle waiting any longer."

With a nod, Pearl twisted the clamp to stop the drip. Sunset felt Pearl's magick that she did not resist as it reached into her body. The pain became increasingly obvious, stabbing and searing her nerves. If any part of her was not on fire, she could not tell.

It was worse than she ever could have guessed. She gasped, her breathing becoming ragged as she tried to force her screaming brain to be silent. Nothing was helping, her concentration shattered by the unending agony.

'I can't do this. It hurts. Dear gods, it hurts!'

'Then give it to me.' Her other self's presence was almost physical, cutting through the haze. 'I am you, and I can take it. Send it to me.'

The dark, hidden part of Sunset began to absorb the screams echoing from the many parts of her body. The pain did not diminish; it became a piece of another part of Sunset Shimmer which was not the conscious part of her. Her other self was now the one gasping in their shared thoughts.

'Get to the girl. I can't do this forever.'

Sunset allowed the hospital to fade again, finally able to extend herself beyond her bed. Pearl was still next to her, the cherry-coloured spark pulsing nearly in time with Sunset's. There were a few other sparks around them, walls no longer a constraint to Sunset's vision. They were all dull, their senses buried and believing in the Lie. One near her was especially dark, the purple and pink having faded almost completely to grey.

The magick was easier to use. She could feel her connection to Sweetie Belle, the experiences and friendly love they shared giving the Mage a strong sympathetic bond with her best friend. Sunset could reach the crystalline spark without a thought, just by wanting to be closer to it.

Her friend's soul was mired in darkness. Pushing herself through the cloud, Sunset reached for her friend's core. It was cracked and chipped, what few colours remained blurring together as they succumbed to the grey. Something about the encroaching darkness scared her, as though she was witnessing Sweetie Belle's life being snuffed from existence like a candle.

She felt something within that spark as she reached for it. Fear and anger were buried deep inside it, compromising its fragile beauty with their disgusting red murkiness. As Sunset made contact with Sweetie Belle's soul, she felt her senses fade as the other sparks vanished.

She was in a room painted in bright colours, toys and stuffed animals neatly placed about the single occupant. The little girl was playing with her toys, having a bunny ride on a turtle's back while she hummed a simple tune.

'Sweetie Belle?' Sunset looked closely at the child and realised she had mistaken the girl's identity. The girl before her had an off-white skin tone with two-tone hair in pink and orange-brown. 'Pixel Bit?'

Pixie had to be around four, perhaps five. She was adorable, looking exactly as Sunset had imagined she would. She kept her shoulder-length hair tied back with a red band, excepting bangs grown long and tucked behind her ears. Her amber eyes were bright and full of life; the spark of childhood wonder was strong.

The bedroom door opened, prompting Pixie to drop her toys and crouch onto the floor. Her eyes filled with fear as a young woman entered her room. This was Sweetie Belle, though she was fully grown into a beautiful young woman.

"Pixel Bit? What have I told you about playing with things that don't belong to you?" Sweetie Belle's voice was oddly masculine. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry." The little girl cringed as her mother advanced on her. Her voice was high-pitched and squeaky, just like her mother's. "Aunty Sunset said it was okay."

"It doesn't matter if she does or not. You are not to touch things that belong to others. How many times do I need to tell you to get it through your thick skull?"

Sweetie Belle grabbed her daughter's arm, yanking the girl forcefully over her mother's lap. She proceeded to spank Pixie several times, the slaps painfully loud in Sunset's ears. The viciousness of the punishment made her cringe; she was about to use magick to enter the dream and stop it, but it ended before she could. Finally satisfied, Sweetie Belle relented and pushed her daughter back onto the bed.

"I love you, Pixie, but I'm tired of telling you things over and over. Start listening and behaving yourself."

Through her sniffles, Pixie replied, "Yes, Mum."

The scene changed. It was still the same bedroom, but the dresser was no longer small and pink. It had been replaced for a more mature white one. There were fewer stuffed animals and the bedsheets were light blue without childish patterns.

Pixie - now about nine but otherwise looking the same - was playing a game on an iPad, her tongue poking from one side of her mouth as she concentrated on what appeared to be rhythm-based controls. She was well into it when her door opened and Sweetie Belle entered.

"Aw," Pixie moaned as her game beeped. "I died."

"Pixel Bit, put that down and listen to me." This time, Sweetie Belle's voice was that of an adult woman with a Minneapolis accent.

The girl did as instructed, dropping her tablet onto the bed and looking at her mother. "Yes, Mum?"

"Aunty Sunset and I will be working on our research for the rest of the day. I've arranged your regular babysitter. She should be here in a few minutes."

"Why can't I help you? I promise not to get in the way."

Sweetie Belle laughed. It was not mirthful; she was mocking her daughter with her tone.

"You? You don't know how to stay out of the way. You're going to stay here and behave yourself, do you understand me?"

"But, Mum, Aunty Sunset said I could come and help if you weren't doing anything dangerous."

A smack rang through the room as Sweetie Belle slapped Pixie. There was force behind it, far more than what Sunset would have thought her friend could bring to bear. She fully expected to see a handprint on the girl's face. Sweetie Belle was angry, her eyes narrowed and hardened into a glare.

"I love you, but you can't talk back to me. When I tell you something, I expect you to say one thing. That is?"

"Yes, Mum." The girl touched her cheek, tears forming in her large eyes. "I won't do it again."

That mocking laughter escaped Sweetie Belle's mouth again. "I doubt that. I'm starting to wonder if you can listen to me. Maybe that space between your ears is empty."

The doorbell sounded. Sweetie Belle left, nearly slamming the door behind her. Pixie sniffled as she sank into her pillows.

Once again, the scenery changed. A teenage Pixel Bit stood and regarded herself in a full-body mirror hung on her wall. Much of her room's decoration was more mature, almost what one would expect of an adult. There were no posters on the walls, which were a simple blue. Her bed had plain white sheets covered by a dark red quilt and was made up perfectly like what one would see in a fancy hotel.

Pixie wore a boy's tee-shirt emblazoned with a movie or video game character Sunset did not recognise, as well as boy's jeans held to her hips with a simple belt. She still kept her hair tied back, though she had grown it a bit longer. Sunset thought the sight was cute and wished she could get a picture of it to show to Sweetie Belle later, even if it was in their minds.

A Sweetie Belle that was only a few years older than Pixie stormed into the room. Her classy voice rang as she shouted, "What in the world are you wearing?"

"I thought they looked nice."

"Those are clothes for boys. Take them off now."

Pixie shook her head. "I like how I look. What's wrong with that?"

Sweetie Belle responded by grabbing her daughter and stripping her before forcing her into a blouse and a skirt.

"You are a young lady, not some low-brow urchin tomboy."

Pixie glared at her mother. "Why do you care if I want to wear boy's clothes sometimes? I like them, and I can do more things than I can in a skirt."

"What, precisely, do you wish to accomplish that cannot be done in proper garb?"

"Playing with my friends. Running around at the park. Sitting down on the steps. Climbing a ladder."

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "Those are hardly appropriate activities for a lady. They sound more like what Scootaloo's children would do. You can have fun with your friends without roughhousing like boys. I believe I taught you how a proper lady sits when she does not have a seat available."

"Just because you like all that stuff doesn't mean I do."

Rather than respond, Sweetie Belle grabbed her daughter's arms. She squeezed as she pulled the girl close to her face; Sunset was certain Pixie would have bruises. Dream or not, she could not understand why her friend would treat Pixie like that. The pieces were starting to come together, but she wanted to wait for the scene to end before she made any guesses as to the meaning.

Sweetie Belle carefully enunciated each word as she spoke again. "Stop being an idiot, you stupid child. You are a lady. So help me, I will see to it that you behave like one."

She released Pixel Bit, who had started to cry.

"I love you, but you must learn proper behaviour. I am disposing of this," she shook the pilfered clothing, "and I hope never to have this discussion again. Am I being clear, or do I need to use smaller words?"

"Yes, Mum, I won't do it again."

Instead of changing, the scene faded to be replaced by a void. It was a true void: Absent of light or colour, dark and devoid of anything. Sunset was on the lowest shores of the Astral Plain, the Temenos, within a single dreamer's soul. She had no experience traversing a dreamscape that was not her own. She had only read about it during her studies, unwilling to use the magick for fear of invading another's private thoughts.

Each piece of a soul - dreams and hopes, thoughts and feelings - occupied its own space within the personal Temenos. Finding something specific meant one had to play the association game. She wanted to be wherever Sweetie Belle was, but she had no direct way to track the girl's consciousness if she was even aware of her dreams. Whatever was so hindering her friend had to be somewhere within her soul, but that space was effectively limitless. She needed clues.

She did not know how much time she had, as oneiromancy did not have any predictable time table. Non-Mages lacked personal Daimon - a type of Goetie that inhabited the Astral Plain - so she could not look for that. Her best option was to travel as best she could until she could draw Sweetie Belle's attention and either wake her or pull her consciousness into the dream. Ideally, she would be able to discern what was causing the problem.

'Alright, I'm within a cell of "abuse Pixel Bit" right now. The way she talked each time makes me think of her family, so she's probably projecting that onto having a child.'

The dreams started again. They were not the same ones; Sweetie Belle had a lifetime of memories to recycle. Pixie was punished time and again for genuine misbehaviour and for simply being different. The only reoccurring similarity was that the punishment never fit the crime; it was always verbal or physical abuse, never a time out or a grounding or a conversation about what she had done wrong. The whole thing was far too similar to Sunset's foalhood. When she decided she would learn nothing more, Sunset called on her magick to manipulate the dream.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle," she called when she had given herself form within the bedroom.

Her friend paused the verbal assault she had been unleashing to give a chipper "What's up?"

"Does this scene remind you of anything? Did your mother ever yell at you like this?"

"All the time. Why do you ask?"

How exactly to use one dream to travel to another was not in the reading material. Sunset was moving blindly into new territory.

"Well, what if you were Pixie's age and you were back with your mother? I'd like to see what happened to you."

"Sure. It was like this."

Sunset felt herself moving. Rather than stay in the part of Sweetie Belle that revisited her childhood on her daughter, Sunset assumed she was going to a place that would show those memories. She did not care if her mode of travel was not elegant; so long as it worked, she would be a sledgehammer if that was what was required to save her best friend.

The scene offered a subtle change. The room was the same, except the child had purple and pink curly hair and white skin. Cookie Crumbles was berating her daughter, just as Sweetie Belle did to Pixie earlier. An image of Sweetie Belle lay on the bed and sobbed.

'How the hell does Luna deal with this stuff? I know Sweetie Belle is in here, but what's holding her down?'

Sunset paused her thoughts to examine the scenes. One after another, each of the family would belittle, mock, spank, or slap the girl throughout her life. As Sweetie Belle grew older, she became increasingly hesitant, a wilting flower in thin soil.

'Even after being with me for so long, I do know that she's still got that baggage. If she's not here, then what else could represent her problems?'

When the quest was ended, Sunset resolved to take as many Psychology classes as possible. If she ever had to deal with dream walking again, she wanted to have some idea how to find what she needed. She could start by reading, as she would be in the hospital or laid up for some time.

That was for the future. The problem facing her was the now, and she was lost. Sunset decided to abandon thinking too much; she would act by instinct. If gods existed, she prayed they would favour her for once.

Rarity was in the room with Sweetie Belle, her hand raised to deliver yet another painful reminder that the girl was not good enough for her family. Sunset willed herself into the room and seized the teen's arm.

"Sunset? What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm in the middle of a conversation with my sister?"

"Conversations don't involve slapping someone for disagreeing with you or not doing what you want." Using the faux Rarity's arm as leverage, Sunset shoved her into the door. "You're not her sister anymore. The one she has now learned a better way. The new Rarity is a great sister. Go, shoo."

Rarity vanished. Sunset was about to turn back to the image of Sweetie Belle until she felt small, thin arms encircle her as her friend's weight hurled itself into her back.

"Thanks for coming for me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take."

"Sweetie Belle? Did I find you?"

The image released her. Sunset turned to face her, a grin of relief on her face. It faded when she saw that Sweetie Belle was shaking her head.

"I'm only a piece of me. I'm the part that would wait in my room for someone to come and yell at me again. Did you come to help me stop the nightmares?"

"Yes. Can you help me find the rest of you?"

"I wish I could, but we're hidden from each other. I can only help you with one thing: You don't need to look for all of me. I'm pretty sure there's something deeper that represents all of my nightmares. If you find that and make it better, I bet the rest would disappear."

"Thanks. I'll see you when we wake up, you hear me?"

The image did not reply. It and the bedroom faded. Sunset felt herself moving into another part of Sweetie Belle's soul as she was drawn to a new cell. This one had a different feeling to it than the earlier ones did; it was lighter and more colourful. It felt happier.

Sunset's initial speculation appeared to be correct as she saw a very young Sweetie Belle wandering about a zoo with her family. Thanks to it being a dream, Sunset knew instantly that their smiles were genuine. The little girl's eyes widened in awe at the large animals and she giggled in mirth at the antics of the smaller ones. At a guinea pig petting area, Magnum bought her a bag of feed before accompanying her into the pen where several of the large, adorable rats swarmed her for treats. They laughed together as the guinea pigs snatched the food from her open palm.

One of them was a little too excited, nipping her finger in its rush to eat. She began to cry, though the injury was not bleeding. Magnum lifted her and passed her over the gate to Cookie, where her mother and big sister comforted her. An attendant apologised, but Magnum sent the young man back to his post. Sweetie Belle had already calmed and wanted to go back to feeding the critters.

'She's always been fearless, even if she can't see it. No, not exactly fearless. Resilient. She's stronger than she thinks, but she has to see it.'

A piece of the Sweetie Belle-coloured jigsaw puzzle clicked into place. She had an inkling of what her friend needed, if no plan yet to help her. It was something, but she still needed to find what was preventing the girl recognising herself as the strong young woman she was.

"Sweetie Belle, give me a hint. What's holding you back?"

"Sounds like you need help."

Sunset felt a weight on her shoulder. A small black cat was perched there as though she had always been present. Karen regarded her for moment before speaking.

"We Fae are good at travelling through dreams. I've been keeping an eye on her ever since she gave me a home and her friendship. My poor little mistress has been hurting, but I haven't been able to help her. I'm afraid that if this continues, The Bogeyman will notice and take her away. Do you mind if I travel with you?"

"I'd appreciate the help. Do you have any ideas where to go next?"

"No, I don't. I'm sorry, I can't really be much more than moral support for now."

"That's worth a lot more than you think. Let's go."

They travelled for a time that felt like hours, but Karen stated had been minutes. More happy scenes of Sweetie Belle with her family, friends, and daughter revealed themselves, as did scenes of further abuse. It was repetitive, an unending montage without any direct information.

Sunset did not have unlimited time. She was aware that the clock was ticking; her other self could not hold back the pain for long, and she had no idea what would happen when it returned to her conscious mind. Given that she was linked to Sweetie Belle, Sunset worried that it would hurt her friend. If all else failed, that was her final card; she desperately hoped it would not need to be played. The searing agony would draw Sweetie Belle, but there was no guarantee Sunset would be able to do or to say anything.

"We're going in circles. I don't know what to do to get deeper."

Karen patted her shoulder. "If we're not progressing like this, we should look for alternative dream plays. Maybe we should try to find something from after she started to live with you?"

"That pretty much includes everything with Pixie in it."

"She's only superimposing her own life onto her daughter. We haven't seen anything that involves the real Pixie."

"Alright, take the helm."

Karen worked some of her magick on the door of the bedroom they currently occupied. Sunset opened it without hesitation; the duo found themselves in their flat's kitchen. Sweetie Belle was serving tea to a middle-aged man seated at the table. He was semi-translucent and hovered a bit over the seat, yet had no problem grasping the tea cup.

"Mike?"

The ghost started, but he smiled at the cat. "Karen? Fancy meeting you here."

"Are you still haunting Sweetie Belle? I thought you passed over or something like that."

He chuckled. "I would think one of the Fae would understand. When one comes into contact with another, the parties exchange pieces of their souls. Those remain with them for a time; the stronger the connection, the longer it endures. We all live on within the souls of those we meet. It may have been a short time, but Sweetie Belle truly considered me a friend. Because of this, she has nurtured a piece of me, though I do not believe she is aware of this. I sometimes appear in her dreams to comfort her."

"Something's really hurting her," Sunset said. "I saw her soul from the outside; it's like she's almost completely given up. We're trying to find out why. Could you help us find it?"

"Alas, I lack the ability to traverse her dreams as you can. All I can offer is advise."

"Anything can help. Please tell us."

Mike swept his arms to encompass the kitchen. "What is missing from this dream?"

Sunset and Karen looked about the room. Sunset was unsure what its layout had been when Mike visited them, but she did note the high chair was not present. Sweetie Belle had not yet given birth when she met Mike.

"I'm not sure. I think it looks like it did when you were here."

"Correct. The girl I met was with child. She may have been unsure of herself and still learning, but she was devoted to being a mother. Karen, do you recall her words in the temple? She wished to introduce her child to her friends. She must have given birth by now, but the child has never been presented to me in any of her dreams. Have you seen her offspring elsewhere?"

"Many times," Karen replied. "They're not always happy, though. She repeats the sins of her family."

"Then perhaps you should investigate Sweetie Belle's soul to discern her true feelings for the infant."

The dream was fading. Mike offered a final sentence, "I will aid to send you somewhere to connect to the child."

They found themselves in a quiet downtown street. Sunset did not recognise the location exactly; it may have been a generic background or a place of significance. Sweetie Belle was strolling along the sidewalk as she carried Pixel Bit. When the young mother reached an alley, she ducked into the shadow. After glancing back to ensure no one had seen her, she dropped Pixie into a dumpster. Sunset remembered Midnight's story even as she gasped at her friend's actions.

It was a singular lead, the best they had. She wanted to question that particular image of Sweetie Belle but knew it would be better to follow the dream and see if it led to the end of the hunt. Karen helped guide them through the alley to another dream.

The scene faded into yet another void. Sweetie Belle was there alone, still pregnant. She stood before a mirror as she tried different masques. Each was her face done in Ancient Greek theatrical style: An enormous smile was followed by a sad face that in turn gave way to a frown.

"I've never been this deep before," Karen whispered in Sunset's ear. "If this isn't what we're seeking, it's close."

Sunset nodded. Her intuition was screaming at her, though that may have been her other self. If they had not found the problem, she feared she would have no choice to but to abandon her quest for the time being.

The pieces did not quite align. Terrible memories were interspersed with pleasant ones, all culminating in a deep dream of abandoning her own daughter. Sunset had expected to see something involving Pixie again.

Mike's explanation about carrying pieces of souls within one's own jarred her memories of her nightmares. If those pieces reflected the true individual, which she believed they did, then she had a greater understanding of what was wrong. Sunset's nightly horror shows frequently included the girl she called her best friend. While Sweetie Belle's own dreams had not involved gruesome murder - at least, not those they saw - she had joyfully instigated or participated in it every time she appeared to Sunset. Her ready willingness to offer Pixie or herself for inhuman atrocities was a testament to something being fundamentally broken.

Sunset integrated herself into the dream and called to Sweetie Belle.

The girl stopped, a gasp of shock that belied her masque of laughter escaping her. "Sunset? How did you find me?"

The dream began to fade.

"Get out! Please, just go away."

"No, don't kick me out. I'm here to help you."

Sweetie Belle held a knife that she plunged into her gravid belly. She used her other hand to swap masques to a horrified grimace. When her expression was suitable, she tore into her own flesh as blood ran down her body and soaked her clothes. Whether she was doing it in an effort to drive Sunset into leaving her was impossible to guess. Her emotions were full of rage and guilt and shame.

"Why would you want to do that? Look at me! I'm a monster, Sunset."

"I don't believe that for a second. Just let me talk with you. Please? You're my best friend. If you're hurting, I want to be there to support you."

"I'm not worth it. I can't be fixed, Sunset. If I go away, you wouldn't have to waste your time and money on me, Pixie could be with Button and have a better family that'll love her like she deserves, and everyone will be happier."

Sunset pushed against the fading dream, weaving her own Mana into it to lend it strength. It would not last if she could not persuade Sweetie Belle to allow it to remain.

"No, we wouldn't. Karen and I would be heartbroken. Think of Scootaloo and Apple Bloom and Button Mash; would they be happy to see you die?"

"They will be once they realise how much I've held them back, especially Button. I'm a burden to everyone."

"Do you really want Pixie to grow up wondering about you? She'd see pictures of you and wonder what happened to you."

"She wouldn't need that. She'd stay with Button Mash and his family. They can give her what I can't. I'd just break her."

"Did you forget that I can read people's feelings? I know how much she loves you; she's not broken, she's radiant. Yes, having her father's love played a big role in that, but she wouldn't be as brilliantly happy as she is if it weren't for you. Who gets up every time she cries and cuddles her back to sleep? Who plays with her so much that she forgets to do her homework? Who sings to her in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard? She'd lose all of that if you left her."

"Sweetie Belle, you're refusing to see all the ways you've helped others," Karen said. "I was just existing by that river, hoping The Bogeyman wouldn't find me. I was too scared to leave. If you hadn't let me travel with you and then invited me into your life, I'd still be stuck there. Can't you see what you've done for me? How your friendship has made me happier? Can you say that it wouldn't matter to me if you hadn't been there?"

"But what about all the things I take? Sunset has to put up with Pixie's crying, she spends money on us, and she's always dropped everything to help me. You said I'm your friend, but I count on you to protect us from monsters. I'm not giving you anything."

Sunset lunged forward, grasping Sweetie Belle in a tight hug. She did not care about the blood; the only thing that mattered was saving Sweetie Belle from herself.

"Damn it, Sweetie Belle, you're only looking at material things. So what if I lose sleep or spend money? Do you know how much I get back from having you both in my life?

"If you want to look at give and take, then think about this: I get to watch Pixie growing up. Those big, bright eyes of hers are taking in everything around her. She smiles when she sees me now. I've ruined my reputation with a lot of people, but Pixie doesn't know that. She knows me as her Aunty Sunset who loves her, and she loves me back. Thanks to you bringing her into my life, I get to have someone who loves me without all the memories of what I've done."

The girl had not responded or moved. She was still trying to end the dream.

"Sunset, you don't understand. I am a monster. Don't you understand what I was doing? You must have seen my dreams; you have to know how I feel about her. You should know by now that I'm not good for her."

Karen hopped from Sunset's shoulder to Sweetie Belle's. "Can you explain? Why do you think that?"

"Because I hate her sometimes! When she starts crying, I have to force myself not to scream at her or pick her up and shake her until stops making that awful noise. I get so angry that I just wish she'd go away. There are times I've wished that I'd gotten that abortion when I had the chance."

Sunset did not break her embrace. "Then why didn't you? Why don't you scream at her or smack her? What made you keep her and be a good parent?"

There was a moment of silence. Finally, Sweetie Belle looked at her. The masque prohibited reading her expression, but the dream began to stabilise. She remained trapped in her anger and guilt as she spoke in a quavering voice.

"When I was little, I thought it was really weird how my friends' parents would just say 'I love you' to them. Scootaloo's parents are retired professional athletes, but they don't care that she's not interested in becoming a pro; they love her anyway. Mrs. Love Tap and Mr. Chip are always happy for their sons and encourage them to be who they want to be. I never had that. I didn't even know there were families like that until I met them.

"Once I saw how my family was different, I wanted someone who'd just love me. When I found out about Pixie, part of me thought it was my chance to get what I wanted. I knew I'd never be allowed to keep her, but I still liked the dream. I'd have someone who has to depend on me and loves me unconditionally. I wanted that from Pixie, someone who'd just say 'I love you' with no strings attached.

"But then it really happened. You came and took me away so that I could make my own choice. What I told you the night we found out about Pixie? That was just a stupid dream, but I knew I couldn't change my mind after you did so much for me. I decided I'd have to be a good Mum no matter what, since I didn't want you to know and throw me out. I tried to force myself to believe in the lie I told you, but it's not working."

Karen rubbed her cheek with a paw. "I can taste emotions; you've never shown hatred to Pixie. Irritation, yes, but that's to be expected. You love her, truly and deeply, even if you can't always see it. Why don't you abuse her like your family did?"

"The problem isn't that I don't love her, it's that I hate her sometimes. I know it's wrong of me to feel that way, but I can't help it. It's all so messed up in here that I get lost. I can't blame her for being born when I decided to let it happen. It's not her fault that she can't tell me what she needs or doesn't understand how to wait until I'm awake or not carrying dishes to cry for something. That doesn't stop me wanting her gone. I'm always scared that I'm not going to stop myself one day, and then I'll take away the happiness in her eyes. She doesn't deserve someone like me."

"I have news for you: You will lose your temper one day. We're not perfect. If you leave us and she goes to live with Button permanently, he'll lose his temper one day. I've lost mine with you. Did you stop liking me when I made a mistake?"

Sweetie Belle gasped. "Of course not. I love you, Sunset, and I knew you didn't mean it when you accidentally said hurtful things. That's why I forgave you when you apologised."

"And I've done the same for you. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, Pixie's not perfect. No one ever is. Would you stop loving her when she's older and gets mad at you? I don't think there's a kid alive who hasn't said 'I hate you' to their parents at least once. Would you kick her out if she did?"

"Of course not. I'd be hurt, but I'd never stop loving her."

Sunset nodded. "There's your answer, Sweetie Belle. Yeah, you'll make mistakes. The difference is that she already knows that you love her, so she'll forgive you."

"But that doesn't fix those times I really do wish that she'd never been born. How do I fix those feelings? A lot of things can be forgiven, but she shouldn't ever have to forgive me if I tell her that."

"I think the root of it is these masques you're wearing."

Talking with Sweetie Belle had distracted her from trying to end the dream. She had not abandoned her attempts to push Sunset from her mind, but they were not as forceful. When Sunset mentioned the false faces, the dream started to fracture. Whatever Sweetie Belle was hiding, mention of it had more than redoubled her efforts; the entire void was breaking as Sweetie Belle started to fade. Sunset's magick would not be able to stop it.

"Please, don't do this," she begged. "I don't care what you're hiding or who you are. There's nothing that will make me stop loving you."

"I can't let you see. It's ugly."

"I still dream about the monster I used to be. It can't be worse than the thoughts and feelings I had."

The masque fell to reveal nothing. Sweetie Belle had no face, just a featureless field of smooth skin from her neck to her hairline. She was crying, though her lack of eyes meant no tears fell. Her voice, defeated and empty, came from where her mouth should have been.

"I'm nothing. That's all I ever was."

Sunset felt herself flying away from Sweetie Belle. The dream was over. She screamed her friend's name, hoping Sweetie Belle would hear the anguish of loss in her voice.

She stopped moving. It took a moment before Sunset realised she could feel the dream stabilising. It was not her magick, but it did not seem to be from Sweetie Belle, either. Karen was next to her and seemed to feel it as well.

A glow emanated from behind them, the source of whatever was holding them within the dream. It looked like the soft warm light from a fireplace inviting the weary traveler to rest. It began to take a shape, rapidly forming an enormous dragon. Sunset and Karen sat within the palm of a massive hand.

Even as ponies, Sunset and her friends could have stood together on that hand and still had the room to move. Each claw was easily twice the length of her human body. Bright red scales glittered in light that surrounded the dragon. Orange irises regarded them for a moment before turning to Sweetie Belle.

"Ted!"

Sunset had initially thought her friend somehow possessed a daimon. The dragon certainly matched the one from Sweetie Belle's adventure to the lost temple. Sunset could appreciate just how large the ancient god was, something the girl and the cat had failed to clarify. The fact that Sweetie Belle had been in Ted's hand, right in front of the great dragon's face, and had not been cowed gave Sunset a new appreciation for her.

"My dear friend, I have felt the terrible weight that drags your soul into the muck. The caged bird is unsure how to spread its wings and fly. Why do you falter at the cage door? You, who stood within my hand and possessed the gall to berate me for my anger, should not feel fear as you behold the sky."

"I can't fly. You can't throw a flightless bird from its nest and expect it to survive."

Ted lowered Sunset and Karen to the ground, then smiled. "As we are within a dream, allow me to make it easier for us to talk."

The massive dragon began to shrink, only stopped when his head was at Sweetie Belle's eye level.

"Do I not owe you a hug, Sweetie Belle?"

She latched onto his neck with force that may have suffocated even a god. The once-enormous dragon raised to his hind legs to wrap his forelegs about the girl.

"How are you here?"

"All thinking beings possess souls. Your friends can explain how we leave pieces of ourselves with others, but we gods are capable of much more than humans. I left another piece of myself with you so that I could enter your dreams without restriction when the time of your greatest need arrived. I feared that you would drown before you learned to swim."

"Why would you bother?"

He ended their hug, withdrawing a couple paces to look her in the eyes.

"I came for you because you are my friend, though I am not the only one to care for you, Sweetie Belle the Greathearted. If you do not know who you are, perhaps your friends can help you to discern it."

"You'd do that for me?"

Ted smiled. "For what purpose do friends exist? I do it for you because I wish to see you smile as you did before I departed this world. You granted me peace, now it is my time to return the favour."

"Who am I, then? All I know is that I'm Pixie's Mum. I'm Sunset's friend so she doesn't lose touch. I have lots of friends, and I know who I am to them. Who am I to me? How do I mean something?"

"That is both the simplest and the most complex of questions any being can ask. Who are you? I could tell you what I see, but that does not answer what you have asked. In my eyes, you are a priceless treasure, though I cannot decide your value. You are as valuable as you wish to be, from the rarest of gemstones to the most common of soils.

"You define yourself as others see you. You cannot give yourself worth if you have decided that you have no meaning. Tell me, who are you?"

"I don't know. I'm just the faceless girl that wears a masque to fit the situation."

"Whence came these masques?"

"I'm not sure. It seems like I was already wearing them by the time I noticed. I don't remember ever having something I could point at and say 'That's Sweetie Belle. This is who I am.' If my friends want to play, I play with them. If my family wanted me to be perfect, I tried."

"You fought against being what they wanted you to be," Sunset said. "If you had always been the perfect daughter they wanted, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Why did you do that if you didn't have something of your own will?"

"The things I did with Button were stress-relief. I don't know what I was thinking except that it felt good to do something they'd hate. I knew what could happen and that I'd get caught if it did, but I did it anyway. That just makes me a tramp."

"That makes you someone who wasn't wearing a masque to be what someone else told her to be."

"No, I just swapped what they wanted for a different one."

"So you're saying it was all Button's idea? Did he suggest it? Did he pressure you into doing it?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head vehemently. "No, he'd never do something like that. It was my idea. I kinda had to talk him into it."

"Then that wasn't a masque you wore for someone else. No matter what you think about what you did, it was still something you did because you were Sweetie Belle: A rebellious spirit that wanted to be her own person."

"You have fixed your own gaze too long upon your demeanour; now you are incapable of finding your nature. Is this a reason to wish for an end to your life?"

"I've hurt people a lot, too. It never even occurred to me that bullying Sunset would push her to kill herself, but that's what I helped do. My friends and I had what we wanted, but we kept going because it felt good to tear her down. We were petty and stupid and malicious.

"It's also easy to hurt someone without meaning to. I don't want to hurt Pixie, even if I dream about it sometimes. I should know better than anyone except maybe Sunset how badly even words can destroy, but I know I'll still fail her and everyone else at least sometimes."

Ted nodded. "Even we gods are not perfect. It required a sprouting bud full of vigour to show me that there was another path I could choose, one that would lead me to peace. Could your Blessed friend have displayed the same fortitude of will to counter me?"

"You mean stupidity? Sunset's really smart and good with words, so I think she could have helped you find peace without having to yell at you."

"You're wrong. I know I can be brave, but that takes a completely different type of courage. I'm a jackhammer that beats its way through an obstacle with all the finesse of a hacksaw. I'll bull-headedly smack my face into a wall until I get what I want unless someone else turns me around. I might be learning, but that's still me at the end of the day. What you see is what you get."

"That's who I wanted to be: Someone who doesn't hold back just to make other people happy. I don't want these stupid masques to fit in; I want friends who love me even if I'm air-headed and wear my heart on my sleeve."

"Have your clipped wings regrown, little sparrow? Can you discern who you are?"

"I'm not sure. I don't want other people to tell me who I am. Being Pixie's Mum is fine, but I don't want that to be all I am."

Karen leapt to Ted's back and then to Sweetie Belle's shoulder. "Take your time to decide who you are. Even if you decide now, you won't be that person right away. You could spend several lives refining yourself, anyway, so decide as you go and then apply what you learn."

Sweetie Belle grabbed Karen and hugged her. Pretty green eyes full of tears came into being as she buried her face in the cat's fur. Karen licked her cheek, eliciting a giggle.

"That tickles, Karen," she fussed through a mouth that was finally visible. It was turned up in a real grin of her own, not one she forced upon herself.

Ted hugged her again. "And so the little bird tentatively unfurls her wings. Soar without fear. When the storms come, your friends shall be ready to harbour you."

Sweetie Belle placed her hands over her stomach, then lifted them to hold Pixel Bit. The self-inflicted wounds, the blood, and the swollen belly were gone. The baby in her arms was about the size she should have been for the present.

"Oh, Pixie, can you ever forgive me?"

Even though she could not understand what was happening or what was asked of her, Pixie was merely pleased to be with her mother. She may have been a shard of the real Pixel Bit, but the piece reflected the whole and the entirety of Pixel Bit was every bit her mother's girl. She squealed, reaching for Sweetie Belle's face to grasp her nose as a big, goofy smile took hold of her face.

"I know I'm not perfect and that I'll let you down sometimes, but we'll work it out, okay?" Sweetie Belle spoke through the little hands seizing her lips.

Her question received a coo in response.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, Pixie, and I'll always be there to tell you that. I have some friends who I think want to meet you."

She offered Pixie to Ted, who cradled her in his forelegs. "I predict that she will grow to be as vibrant as her mother."

Mike appeared, hovering next to Ted. Dream logic allowed him to take Pixie in hands that should not have been able to touch her.

"Your child is as fearless and kind as you. A mighty dragon and a shade earn naught but smiles."

"Maybe that's who I am?"

"What do you mean?" Karen asked.

"All different types of people need someone who can accept them the way they are, no matter what they look like or what they've done. I want to be able to make people feel better, whether that just takes someone to listen or a song or a hug. I can take what I learn about being who I am and help others learn to be themselves."

"You are well on your way," Ted observed. "Though it saddens me, it is time to say farewell. I cannot remain with you in this manner, though some part of me shall be at your side throughout your life."

"Before you go, I wanted to ask something. Was it your voice I've been hearing calling me in my dreams?"

"I have not spoken to you before this moment. When did you hear it?"

"It wasn't The Bogeyman or one of the other Lords of Arcadia. I would have noticed their magick."

Ted smiled. "You must discover the source of that call for yourself. My final words of advise: Treat the unknown with respect, not fear."

Sweetie Belle pulled her friends into a group hug. "I want to know what's out there, even if it's scary. After all, I have friends to catch me when I fall."

There was no specific end to the hug or to the dream. Sunset felt herself rushing back to her own spark. The sensation of being pushed from Sweetie Belle's mind was not unpleasant as she felt the old hurt falling from her friend. The hospital room reappeared, Pearl still at her side.

The agonising pain was still present, but Pearl was already opening the line of morphine while her other self continued to hold the worst of it at bay.

"I think she'll be okay now. She'll wake up soon."

Pearl's eyes glimmered as she smiled at Sunset. "Ah'm gonna check on her 'n bring her back here as soon as Ah can."

A small wave of magick, one that was pure and radiant like the energy that had surrounded her as she pulled Midnight Sparkle back from the edge of destruction, flowed through the room. It did not heal her, but it soothed Sunset's pain with its passing. The magick was that of the Awakened and was intimately familiar despite the fact she had never felt it prior to that moment.

"Well bless mah stars, Sweetie Belle went 'n Awakened."

A quiet "Yay" was the extent of the response Sunset could muster. The drugs were flooding her system with a sweet cloudy high as they eased her pain. She wanted to cheer, but she was too sluggish to move.

"Ya rest fer now; ya've done more'n yer best."

Sunset's consciousness began to fill with static like an old television. She might have been lying there for hours for all she cared as she enjoyed the high delivered by the opiates that kept the pain in the back of her mind. Her only thoughts as she drifted into sleep were pleasure that she was alive and that her friend was finally healing. She lost consciousness with a smile on her face.

PART IV END