Cadance's Baby Quest

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Celestia beamed, her magic carefully removing the bundle of tea-leaves from the steaming teapot, a lovely aroma spreading around her personal parlor. She inhaled happily, enjoying the scent of her own secret blend, sweet with a hint of spice, an appreciative hum rising from her chest. With the care one usually reserved for a small foal, Celestia gently filled two porcelain cups with the heavenly infusion, smiling to herself serenely. She always enjoyed this time of relaxation from the stress of ruling, but if there was one thing that made her evening tea tastier, it was sharing it with a beloved one.

“Hmm, smells wonderful.” Cadance said from across the small coffee table, smiling as she received her cup, nodding her head in thanks. She took a sip, her grin growing instantly. “Just like I remember it.”

“It has been some time, hasn’t it?” Celestia mused as she nursed her cup, eyeing the younger alicorn with a maternal smile. “It is a shame we have so little time to converse like we used to, the Crystal Empire is so very far away.”

“The trappings of royalty, it’s a heavy burden to bear.” The pink alicorn gave an exaggerated sigh, acting as if she had been ruling for decades, and not only a scant few years. The ageless monarch sitting across the table chuckled at the theatrics. “The daily grind of cake tasting, ribbon cutting and constant pampering by loving citizens… So exhausting!”

“Well,” Celestia levitated a plate overflowing with Cadance’s favorite pastries across the table, the pink alicorn squealing in joy at the sight of them. “we best make good use of the time we have then.”

The two alicorns chatted without any formality, treating each other like they were family; Celestia had practically raised the young alicorn after all. Cadance gossiped about Shinning Armor’s numerous -if charming- faults, while Celestia lamented Luna’s numerous faux pas and her abysmal social skills. Both gave long suffering sighs, barely containing their laughter; it was always fun to poke fun at the people you loved most. They recounted Twilight’s latest feats, like her recent victory over the fugitive Starlight Glimmer, or how the youngest princess was acclimating to her new castle, after the loss of her old home. They both shared a deep love for the little purple pony, and naturally they soon found themselves talking about her friends.

“Oh, speaking of Pinkie Pie,” Cadance said with her mouth full, earning an unimpressed stare from Celestia as crumbs fell on her antique coffee table. “I’ve been exchanging letters with her lately.”

“Hmm, how nice.” Celestia said distractedly, busy cleaning after the pink alicorn, just like old times she thought.

“She’s very interesting that one, I can see why Twilight had some issues with her at first.” Cadance swallowed, smacked her lips happily, then gave Celestia a discreet side look. “We were talking about those bakers she lives with; the Cakes.”

For just a fraction of a second, Celestia’s golden magic faltered, a few crumbs escaping her control. “Oh…” was all she said, before resuming her dusting. “Yes, I remember them, their produce was quite tasty.”

Any other pony would have thought the regal white alicorn was the face of serenity and peace; but Cadance wasn’t just any pony. She saw the sudden nervousness under the mask, the imperceptible narrowing of Celestia’s eyes, and the oh so tiny shiver of her wings. Cadance titled her head innocently, leaning over the table like a lounging cat.

“Did you know Mrs. Cake had foals?” Cadance said innocently, watching her fellow princess carefully, but Celestia had gotten a hold of herself, letting nothing transpire. “Twins, actually; so very strange…”

“Having twins is not so uncommon.” Celestia smiled, looking up with a calm smile. “Why, I have seen some papers on the subject that suggest that…”

“Oh no,” Cadance interrupted, grinning at Celestia’s attempt at changing the subject “the strange part is that one of the twins is a pegasus, while the other is a unicorn.” Cadance played with the teacup in her hooves, the clinking of porcelain making Celestia flinch. “Both parents are, as you know, earth ponies…”

“Genetics are very strange sometimes.” Celestia’s smile had lost its warmth somewhat, her grin no longer reaching her eyes. “It is foolish to think we know all when it comes to the subject. It is sometimes best to leave some mystery intact.”

“But it is so interesting!” Cadance insisted, trying to hide her excitement; she only rarely ever got the upper hand in a game of wits with her old mentor after all. “There is no direct blood relations to either pegasi or unicorns in either of them, and what’s more…” The pink alicorn licked her lips, ready to deliver the coup de grace. “Mrs. Cake had been declared infertile a few years ago. Quite a miracle, don’t you think?”

“Cadance…” Celestia didn’t raise her voice, but the warning was clear.

“Yes, a miracle. Or at least this is what Mr. and Mrs. Cake told Pinkie.” Cadance rubbed her chin, looking at the ceiling. “You see, I had been searching for ways to cure infertility for months when I contacted Pinkie Pie, I was getting desperate. The Cake’s story was exactly what I was looking for. So I did some research, wondering what they could have done to help the poor mare conceive. I investigated any significant events around the estimated date of their conception… What could have possibly happened 11 months before…” Cadance gaze slowly lowered to stare into Celestia’s eyes. “Twilight tells me you very much enjoyed your time at Sugar Cube Corner, you even brought Philomena along… Which gave you the perfect excuse to return to Ponyville after the party was over.” Cadance smirked openly, her eyes twinkling. “I hear you even got a private audience with the Cakes to enjoy their treats, and you didn’t leave until the next morning? I hope you didn’t indulge too much, the poor bakers probably had troubles keeping up with your appetite…”

“What are you saying? You think I laid with the Cakes?” Celestia chuckled, shaking her head at the ridiculous assertion.

“Yes, I do.” Cadance purred, undeterred. “And I think you have something to do with the conception of their foals…”

“You think I am the twins' mother?” Celestia said with a derisive snort. “Please, this is absurd. Twilight and her friends were at the maternity when they were born, and how could I have possibly hidden a pregnancy, I…”

“No.” Cadance interrupted again, her Cheshire grin growing. “I know very well that Mrs. Cake was the mother… but it wasn’t Mr. Cake who fathered them. After all, you do have the proper…” Cadance’s gaze flicked downwards, towards Celestia’s privates. “… tool.”

Celestia’s features were a wall of neutrality, her impassive eyes watching Cadance’s smirk with no visible reaction. Then all of the sudden the mask fell, her brow furrowing into a frown, her lips tightening into a fine line. Celestia’s horn flared up, a wave of magic encompassing the whole room in a golden bubble. Cadance was quick to recognize the spell, the bubble of silence making sure their conversation wouldn’t be heard. Perfect.

“How did you find out?”

Cadance almost squealed in happiness at Celestia’s admission; it was almost like surrender. “Oh, I took a page from Twilight’s book, and did some reading.” Her horn shone with blue energy, and she levitated an ancient tome from her saddlebags. She flipped the pages before turning the massive book over, showing Celestia a page. The paper was yellowed by age, but the ancient equestrian was still clearly legible.

“You never told me about your old title.” Cadance teased, tapping the top of the page. “Celestia Sol Invictus,” Cadance recited “Goddess of Life, Harvest…” the pink alicorn chuckled, her magic flipping to the next page. “and fertility.”

The next two pages were dominated by an illustration of Celestia in her youth, when she was still carefree and foolish, when she didn’t care about what ponies thought of her… and when she didn’t hide her extra appendage. Celestia blushed deeply, the artist had been distressingly accurate when it came to a particular aspect of her anatomy, right down to the minute details; she had probably bedded the artist eons ago, and left quite an impression.

“At first I thought this was just a fantasy by the author,” Cadance said airily, turning the book around. “particularly when I got to the historical recounting of your… exploits.” She quickly flipped through the next pages, nodding her head, clearly impressed. “But when I found out about the Cakes, the pieces fell together, it was the best explanation. But even then…” After a while she arrived at the end of the book, and she let the tome flap shut. She gave a most inappropriate wolf whistle. “I never have thought that the pre-Discordian baby-boom could have been caused by one pony.”

Celestia gave an exasperated sigh. “I thought I had collected all the historical recounting of that particular piece of history, and the rest was too damaged by time to be of any use. Where ever did you find this book?” Cadance grinned widely, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh… of course,” Celestia groaned, suddenly realizing. “the Crystal Empire library…”

“Yep, good thing Twilight didn’t come across this when she was looking for information on the Crystal Heart, uh?” Cadance giggled out loud as she saw Celestia’s eye widen, the white alicorn somehow managing to pale at the thought. “Don’t worry, I went through the whole catalog, anything with sensitive information has been moved to my private reserves. They are safe there.”

Celestia eyed the pink alicorn, wondering why Cadance had moved the books to her private library and not seal them somewhere... Come to think of it, she preferred not to think about it. “Who else knows?” She asked, rubbing her temple.

“I haven’t told anypony about your past.” Assured Cadance. “… Yet.” Celestia’s look of horror was hilarious, but Cadance was quick to add, “I’m kidding, I won’t tell anyone.” Celestia breathed in relief, her ears flicking as Cadance snorted in amusement. “Twily is too much of a naive little filly, she would probably have an aneurysm if she found out. As for Luna…” Cadance placed her head on her front hooves, looking at her fellow princess innocently. “I’m guessing she knows about your… condition, you didn’t use to hide it after all.” Celestia’s flinch told it all. “But she probably doesn’t know about the twins, correct?” The white alicorn gulped audibly, completely flustered. “She would probably never let you live it down if she knew, hmm?”

Celestia watched the pink alicorn warily. Cadance had the most cat-like grin on her face, so happy with herself that Celestia almost expected her to start purring. She was familiar enough with Cadance to know what her grin meant, so she decided to cut to the chase. “What do you want?” She was no stranger to blackmail, and she wondered what Cadance had in mind this time; knowing the young alicorn it would probably be something silly, like a bucket of candy, or a train-load of candy, or a train made of candy, or…

“A foal.”

… or a foal… Wait WHAT ?!