Foolers Rush In

Foolers Rush In

By AJ Aficionado

Two well-dressed earth pony mares walked quietly amongst rows of nearly identical pink and yellow painted houses topped with straw in the darkening twilight, hooves clopping gently on the stone-paved sidewalk alongside the dirt main road.

The taller of the two had a striking red and pink striped mane and flanks covered by a rich, burgundy ruffled gown fixed to her abdomen by a pair of fasteners cleverly disguised as red rose buds. Holding her tail aloft with head held high, she proudly displayed her long, feminine neck for the viewing pleasure of the occasional pony passing on the road or soaring through the sky. Completing the perfectly color-coordinated package of equine smugness were a green belt and steel dress shoes to match her eyes and a pair of red rose buds behind each of her large and tapered ears.

Her considerably less confident, but no less lovely, friend stood a foot shorter, the crest of her golden mane tied back in a ponytail with a blue ribbon. Her dress — a reminder of her one and only invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala — wore a much more conservative blue and white dress with peach trim and matching steel dress shoes. A pair of white lily bulbs adorned her short, stubby ears; her trademark look. She looked down at the asymmetrical locking stones as she walked, eyes unfocused, finding herself mesmerized by the lack of any logical progression or pattern; a chaotic mess of whatever City Hall has been authorized to use by their grossly inflated rock budget to place on the ground to facilitate the mundane function of a sidewalk.

“Lily!”

One of these days we’ll get preformed slabs like normal ponies in the city. The yellow-maned mare mused idly, thinking about the cost-saving virtues of utilitarian concrete. Anything to not think about where she was going, and why.

“Lily!”

A gentle flank bump by her red-headed friend finally brought Lily out of her daze, and into eye contact with the flank’s owner. Oh, how beautiful her eyes are! Lily thought to herself not for the first time, but refused to say aloud. For what point was there in admiring her outgoing friend when she had eyes only for stallions? “Huh? What is it Rose? Is somepony looking at me weird?” she looked around half-frantically.

“Oh they’re looking alright, sweetie!” Roseluck exclaimed, flagging her tail for a gaggle of gossiping mares and token stallion opposite them, gratified at the sudden knicker she heard at her display. “But you aren’t looking back! Now how’s a good-looking gal like you going to chat up a mare when you’re contemplating the meaning of existence or whatever it is you’re doing?”

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m not at the bar yet, Rose. Give me a moment of peace before I humiliate myself again!” Lily gave a grouchy stomp at the overly expensive, but unyielding stone. “And I wasn’t thinking about the universe. Though, I do have quite a few questions I could seriously consider…”

“Like the nature of mass orgies in ancient Pegasopolis with a hundred, perhaps a hundred and twenty hot, sweaty cloplite mares rutting each other in the Temple of Mineighrva to build camaraderie?”

Lily squealed in shock, reflexively standing on her hind legs and kicking at an invisible attacker.

Rose was both amused and disappointed by her reaction. How was Lily ever going to discover intimacy if the mere thought of it was enough to send her scurrying back into her shell? “Perhaps just… one cloplite mare and yourself for starters? I’m sure we can get you there after enough tries.” Roseluck snarked, giving a gentle snort. “Lily, it’s not like the last time. You don’t need to be so uptight! Look around you; there’s not a sign of chocolate milk clouds, popcorn piles or insane chaos demigods anywhere. You’re going to be perfectly fine. Honest!” Roseluck gave her friend a reassuring nuzzle, attempting to calm her down some. In truth, her own nerves were acting up a bit, knowing where they were going and what happened in the aftermath of their last visit.  Steady, Rose… you’re not a filly-fooler; you’re just trying to help a friend...

Lily resisted the urge to cling to her, shivering at the memories of that day. None of it had been normal or even possible without a chaos god’s intervention, and yet… “Yeah. I know, Rose, it’s just…”

Rose shook her head sternly. If she could head into such alien territory, there was no reason Lily couldn’t. “Your old crush back in Hoofington is not going to ruin the rest of your life, Lily! You need to get back in the race. Now we’re both looking good and ponies have been craning their necks, nearly walking into street signs or crashing into houses admiring us while we’ve been walking. You’ve got to learn to give yourself credit! Keep your tail up, that’s what the hole in the back is for, and show those mares what you got!” Roseluck patted her nervous friend on the back.

Her tail only clamped down harder at the advice. “I’m still dubious about this whole “wingmare” strategy of yours.” Lily’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at her friend.

Roseluck cringed, remembering her first outing at the filly bar before Discord’s escape from his prison of stone. “Yes, I must admit I kinda messed up the last time. That’s why we’re both dressed up tonight —” Roseluck stopped, looking around nervously at the lit windows on the darkened street for potential spies before continuing more quietly —“Aaand I’ve also asked Cloud Kicker for some advice on how Wingmare-ing is supposed to work. To be honest, I usually go into a bar looking to grab up all of the stallions I can manage in a night and never learned coordinated mating strategies. First time for everything, I say!”

“Are… you… kidding me!?” Lily whipped her head around to face Roseluck, her eyeridges furrowed. “You’ve never done this before? I trusted you to know what you were doing!”

Roseluck brought hoof to mouth. “Shhhh! Keep your voice down! And don’t get angry at me, Lily. Is there any other mare who would have been able to drag you to a filly bar without knocking you out first?”

“You had to push me almost the whole way there!” Lily growled, inwardly furious with herself for not having deduced the obvious fact that being an self-styled stallion aficionado, Roseluck wasn’t likely to have secret knowledge of how to get mares in the sack.

“Details, details…” Roseluck waved a carefree hoof, trying to ignore her own churning insides, reminding herself again she was doing this to help Lily, and if that meant she risked attracting some filly-fooler attention of her own, so be it. “What matters is this time, we’re rolling in there with a plan. And any plan with Cloud Kicker’s approval is going to work. She personally assured me that you’d be winning so much, you’d get sick of it! Said you’d end up going to her house and telling her ‘please, Cloud Kicker, I’m winning too much!’ and she’d be like, ‘I’m sorry, Lily; I’m sorry, but you’re going to keep on winning!’” she struck an excellent imitation of the pegasus mare’s voice.

Lily flinched to hear it; she’d always been intimidated by Cloud Kicker’s looks and confidence. “Okay! Okay! I get it. I think I’m sick of winning already...” Lily said miserably, bowing her head and ears, now counting down the blocks and the bricks in the sidewalk before they arrived at their destination. When they rounded a corner and it came in sight, she froze in her tracks

Realizing she’d stopped, Rose looked back at her. “Lily, please don’t make a mare have to start pushing you again…”

“Okay, okay! I’m going. I just really hope you know what you’re doing this time...” she forced herself to move forward once more.

Roseluck nickered contentedly, “There’s a good filly. Now let’s go get you lucky!” The two began to walk again down a side road toward a well-lit sign in front of an old-time wooden saloon.

“That’ll be the day. Oh, but Rose…”

“Yes, blondie?” Rose waggled her eyebrows playfully.

 “You’re right. No one else could have gotten me to go to that bar but you.” Lily smiled bashfully, walking ahead of her friend.

Roseluck blushed but didn’t immediately respond, pulling a pair of binoculars out of a tactical holster strapped to her back concealed by the dress. “Alright Lily, just as we planned it, you go first…”

Lily Valley quietly made her way past small clusters of mares gathered beneath the overhead shelter outside the swinging wooden doors as a pair of mares, to her horror, were already making out at a bench near the entrance before making it inside. Trying unsuccessfully to ignore the wet kisses, moaning and the smell of arousal, Lily stopped dead in her tracks again, looking back in the direction she came.

Roseluck poked her head up from behind a convenient row of hedges across the road from the front of the bar. “Lily, get your flank in there!” she mouthed noiselessly, jabbing an impatient hoof at the door and praying to the Tetriarchal Sisters of Equestria that Lily could read lips.

Lily could feel herself heat up as she imagined the pair of mares near the door as herself and Roseluck — no matter how forcefully she suppressed that impossibly forlorn fantasy, it kept reasserting itself! — finally settling on the bar as the lesser of two awkward situations. She just hoped she could squeeze through one of the smaller windows if the need arose, having already ruled out the idea of going through the plate-glass window out front. Bleeding out on the sidewalk or being cornered by mares, I can’t imagine what’s scarier! Then again, I’m already about about to die of embarrassment anyway... she thought miserably, wishing she was a unicorn so she could turn herself invisible.

“She’s in!” Roseluck allowed herself a stealthy commando pony victory dance from behind her leafy barricade as she worked herself into a position where she could peer through the window at her shy friend without ruining her dress — an issue most pony special forces operatives don't have to contend with.

Cloud Kicker’s instructions had been explicit: enter separately to make sure Lily’s prospective marefriends didn’t know the two of them were together, and thus might think she was already taken. Having run through the entire plan back to front, she felt her mind beginning to wander. Hard to believe we mares are so picky with each other. All the best fashion; all the flashiest accessories. All it does is keep us from rutting one another on the strength of our character and the beauty of our physical form. Roseluck sighed. Well, *my** physical form anyway.* She trailed a hoof down the length of her neck for an imaginary mare admirer.

Roseluck nearly dropped her binoculars at that, her eyes widening at where her thoughts had just gone. No, I don’t mean it like *that!** Or do I?* Roseluck swallowed hard, remembering again the events surrounding Discord’s escape: the normally shy Lily turning aggressive and seducing her dedicated colt-chasing friend with the help of a magical attitude adjustment and some added stallion equipment, noisily making love to her as all Equestria descended into the madness of the Chaos God’s return.

Roseluck shook her head forcefully to clear it. No, that’s stupid! Must just be the proximity of the bar. I mean, this is what I would think if I really *were a fillyfooler, not me as in… **me!* Forcibly stuffing the notion of mare love under a metaphorical rock for the time being — her metaphorical closet being jam-packed — Roseluck raised her binoculars back up to her eyes and peered inside the bar at Lily, who was making small talk with a yellow-coated orange-maned mare. The rose vendor immediately recognized the mare from the Ponyville Market as the carrot farmer, Golden Harvest.

After a fleeting hope that maybe she could scarper the scene, let Golden Harvest give Lily the time of her life, and see if Time Turner was available for the night, Roseluck noticed the toothpaste-colored mare sitting next to Goldie was now chatting the carrot farmer up instead of Lily, and deflated. Darn it! You were right again, Cloud Kicker; the farmer brought friends with her that I’ll need to distract. Guess I’ll have to mosey on in there and be as distracting as possible. The self-proclaimed ‘Winning’ Pegasus had also told Rose that ‘distraction’ might involve her chatting up or feigning interest with one or more of the friends to carry out her mission as wingmare, but those details were negotiable as far as Rose was concerned...

“Hey… Rose?”

Roseluck shooed away the pony behind her with her hoof, continuing her vigil. “Not now I’m busy — AHHH!”  Panicking, she dropped the binoculars into the hedge, blocking them from view with her body, and looked back at the speaker, a bronze coated pegasus mare with striking blue eyes and mane, wearing a simple purple dress. Far worse than having discovered Rose, though, was that the newcomer was studying her with something considerably more than purely academic interest, looking her over from head to hoof.

“Well, this is a surprise! I haven’t seen you here before, Rose! So what are you doing back here? Afraid to go inside and —” The pegasus grinned and gave her hips a suggestive sway “— Mingle?”

Curse the pony who thought of giving only some ponies the ability to fly! Roseluck froze in horror at the realization that she was now, at this moment, likely being sized up by a mare for her worth as a mate and was okay with it on some level. It was a perverted sort of honor to receive validation from a fellow mare, but only as a worthy competitor competing for the attention of a stallion, she quickly reminded herself. The twitching in the mare’s bronze wings and dilating pupils were not the kind of attention she was used to. Fortunately, Rose was no stranger to escaping the things that were out to get her and mares were her specialty. After all, you don’t sleep with another mare’s colt too often without needing to plead your case to the judge, jury, and potential executioner of pain.

Recovering quickly, Roseluck laughed. “You nearly scared me to death there! Um… I know I’ve seen you around, but… have we met?”

Her grin got wider. “I suppose we haven’t! The name’s Raindrops.” She gave the earth pony a quick glimpse up her dress at her rain droplet cutie mark  “I’m with the weather team, naturally.” Roseluck tensed up as she noticed the pegasus arching her neck forward as a display of quality. “We haven’t spoken but I’ve seen you around while on the job. If you don’t mind me saying so, you’re pretty hard to miss, actually.”

Roseluck scoffed, displaying her neck in return with upturned muzzle, her expression as smug as an Apple and just as honest, too. This mare is trying to hook up with me. With me! Doesn’t she know who I am? She’s got to be lying. This is some sort of sick joke. *I am the mare who’s sneaking off with your brother every night. **I am the ‘friend’ your stallion won’t tell you about. I am your worst nightmare come true, sister, and Ponyville’s greatest lover of stallions! Do your worst, filly!* she mentally challenged. “Well I should think so, Rainy! You don’t see a mare like me in the bushes very often!”

Now it was Raindrop’s turn to look surprised at the mare’s frankness, quickly melting away into a flirtatious smile. “Quite so, Miss Roseluck. And what brings you to this finely manicured hedge this evening?” She a lit beside her, showing enough sense to hide herself from view as well.

Feigning contriteness, Roseluck plowed forward with her newly-minted strategy. “I suppose I owe you the truth. In return I must insist upon your complete discretion in this matter,” she said in overly-grave tones. “You see, I’m on an errand of mercy for a good friend.”

Raindrops brought hoof to chest in a solemn pledge. “On my word as a weathermare, I will not tell another living soul. So why are you here? There aren’t even any flowers in this hedge! Surely you aren’t here for the scenery… or are ya?” The pegasus winked at the florist suggestively.

Roseluck’s cheeks flushed. “Of course not! My goals are purely altruistic. I’m here to help my friend, Lily, find true companionship and happiness with a mare by giving her my… support and confidence.” Roseluck wrapped a leg around one of the limbs of the nearby hedge as if it were her best friend.

Raindrops brough hoof to chin, even as her wings began to twitch with greater urgency. “Your support and confidence… in a bar filled with mares who want to hook up and rut into the wee hours. And how exactly do you intend to do that as Ponyville’s self-professed Straight-ist Mare in Equestria?” her grin went lopsided.

Roseluck’s blush got deeper, both at the title bestowed on her and the fact she thought she was being teased. “By being there at her side!” Roseluck thumped her chest with gusto. “Sure, what I’m doing isn’t the most… honest thing in the world, but if I can create an opening for Lily to talk to some mare by keeping her buddies distracted, why shouldn’t I help her? I’m all the poor gal has got!”

Proving a rank amateur at maintaining a neutral expression, the pegasus’ wings nearly deployed entirely, holding them awkward and stiff, halfway folded, until she regained the motor function to tuck them back in. “Please forgive my suspicion. Lily is that pink little blonde-maned cutie who works with you at Daisy’s shop, correct?”

“Can’t keep anything from you, can I?” Roseluck replied, not quite able to keep the bitterness out of her voice for her winged cousins. “But you’re right. Lily’s sitting by Golden Harvest and by the looks of things, can’t get a word in edgewise with Goldie’s friends hogging all her attention.” She nodded towards the open bar.

Raindrops closed her eyes and shook her head, regarding her new friend with a pitiable expression. “You really think it’s that easy, don’t you? Listen, you’re going to need some backup in there and insider knowledge on this establishment or this is not going to work. If those fillies know your reputation even half as well as I do, your cover is going to be blown faster than you can say ‘fantastic filly flash’.”

Roseluck brought hoof to face with a sigh of resignation. “Ah, horseapples! You’re probably right. I’m not a fillyfooler. This idea is silly! But I still need to help Lily out.”

“Yeah… you’re in a bit of a bind.” Raindrops became suddenly interested in the sunset. “Celestia really knows her stuff with that sun, eh? Sure wish I could get that promotion!”

Roseluck threw her face to the sky, seeking answers from the heavens and finding only one, feathery, flying pony solution. “Ugh, fine! Raindrops, I know we just met and all, but I really need your help! Can you…?” she couldn’t finish the sentence. Cloud Kicker had warned her this might be necessary, but she’d been praying it wouldn’t be.

The pegasus willed every molecule of her strength into keeping her wings steady as she turned to face Roseluck in as overly comedic a fashion as possible. “Mmm yeees?”

I hate myself so much right now. Forcing as straight a face as her fillyfooler circumstances would allow, she summoned every ounce of customer service politeness into a single request. “Can we go in there as a couple and… help my friend out with Golden Harvest?”

Raindrop’s wings deployed with a distant clap of thunder from the sky above, her unfurled bronze-feathered wings giving her the appearance of an ancient Steedgyption hieroglyph on the side of a pyramid. “Terrific! Who knows, Rosie; you may even enjoy yourself a little. Just relax and leave everything to me.”

“I hope you appreciate this, Lily…” Roseluck muttered under her breath as the pegasus rattled off her plan at high speed.

I hope you appreciate this, Rose! It didn’t take long for Lily to begin questioning the wisdom of her friend’s plan. Nearly everypony inside wore plain dresses with minimal accessories while she and her so-called ‘wingmare’ were styling eight-year old Canterlot fashion. We’re going to stand out alright. Just not in the good way!

In fairness, the bar itself was not as scary a place as she’d imagined, filled with buzzcut-maned mares with multiple piercings and skull and bones cutie marks — the shy mare had nearly passed out when such a mare came near her back in Hoofington. In fact, she saw more than a few familiar faces among the crowd; ponies she’d seen outside her greenhouse fortress buying flowers back at Daisy’s shop.

A loud crunch greeted Lily as she stepped through the wooden doors which she was relieved, and somewhat disgusted, to discover was an empty peanut shell. At least I’m not allergic! The rough wood floor was absolutely covered with them. Taking note of what other crunchy dangers might be lurking about, Lily took a look around the chandelier lit room. Neon signs — no doubt powered by magic — advertised the local pilsner, Buck-o Beer, along with wine and cider-based drinks. Not a milkshake dispenser to be found, Lily, lamented, silently, as she slowly ambled up to the counter on the other end of the hall. Long benches made from huge split logs, made up the center of the long, dimly lit room on either side of her. They were clearly designed to encourage mass mingling and easily sat up to twenty mares each.

For those who wanted a bit more privacy and intimacy, booths made with more comfortable naugahyde covered cushions lined the left and right walls. Above each booth were framed group photos with the year and description stamped into a bronze nameplate at the bottom. Not only was the bar serving drinks but food as well, carried on trays by unicorns and a few well-coordinated pegasi who could manage the balancing act by steadying the load with their wings. The most action was up at the front where drinks were being mixed, ponies were jamming bits into an ancient Cloppola jukebox, and a large, curly-maned and shockingly orange earth pony was nursing a shot of bourbon that caught Lily’s eye. The mares on either side of her wearing sympathetic expressions and giving her an occasional nuzzle or pat on the back.

“It’s not yehr fault, lass. Yeh’re not the mare who decided t’ play our… our… song…” The heavily accented pony sniffled, gave her drink a dour look and finally threw it back sans chaser. “Oi! that’s not gonnae make me walk home any easier, is it?”

Lily arched an eyebrow as she waited behind a pair of purplish earth pony mares. She didn’t have to ask herself what they’d be ordering. Why is she sad at hearing a song with her friend?

“We weren’t coming here to get you drunk, Goldie!” A minty unicorn sitting next to her replied, concerned. “We were just trying to get you off your farm for awhile. I know it has to be rough living right next to the mare giving you trouble.”

There was a murmur of assent from the mares sitting up at the bar.

The green-maned barmare nodded, tipping her huge cowcolt hat in front of her eyes. Pushing it back up out of way, she gave the two mares in front of Lily their usual order (a bottle of pinot noir) and leaned across the bar in front of Goldie, giving her a sympathetic look. “Honey, there ain’t no mare in the world that gal is going to settle down fer between the apple farm, galloping across Equestria with her friends, and raisin’ that sweet little Apple Bloom. Sorry to say, but my cousin’s one bronco that won’t never be tamed by nopony!”

Her Equestrian… it burns! Lily looked away as she cringed at the barmare’s spectacular triple-negative sentence.

The carrot farmer sighed in defeat. “Ah knew the risks, Apple Fritter. And Ah know yer right, but it still smarts. Can ah just have one more t’ top me off?” The orange mare signalled for another drink, but the barmare shook her head.

“Ah think yer about done fer the night, Golden Harvest.” The barmare signaled Lily to step to the counter as Goldie sighed, her muzzle laid against the surface. “Yer friends are right, filly. Ah know how much she meant to ya, but ya gotta let ‘er go. Yer such a pretty young thang. Others will come along.”

Standing alongside the jilted mare in front of the counter, Lily stole a glance at her and had to agree. From behind, her tangle of orange curls looked messy. But up close and from the side, she couldn’t help but admire the way the curls dangled in front of her beautiful green eyes. So much like Roseluck’s eyes, Lily couldn’t help but notice. Her face was tear-streaked; all hope seemed to have gone out on her world. It was a sentiment Lily could appreciate, being her natural state.

“Maybe we should you get you home, Goldie. I’m really starting to think this was a bad idea,”  said a mare Lily didn’t recognize, reached into her saddlebag to pay the tab.

Lily’s jaw tightened, her eyes darting toward mundane objects on the wall as she tried to think of something to say to her. She’s so cute! I need to say something cool. “Ummm...”

“Oh. I’m sorry, honey!” the barmare drawled. “Didn’t mean to keep ya waitin’. My stars, don’t you look nice this evening! Now what kin I get choo?” her accent seemed to get stronger as she spoke.

“Lily?” The toothpaste mare looked up at the flower pony, eyes wide with shock. “Hey Golden Harvest, look who it is. It’s greenhouse pony!”

Lily whinnied heatedly, “Hey that’s not fair! I do other things around the shop too. Just not when other ponies are watching…” she finished lamely. Are others ponies really talking about me when I’m not around? I can’t ever escape them!

Golden Harvest’s head jerked up, brushing her mane out of her face to see her properly, tear-streaked-and-cider-glazed eyes focusing on her with some difficulty. “Lily Valley... by the ancestors! I didn’t think I’d ever meet you. Much less in a place like this! Yeh’re a fair sight!” she looked over a cringing Lily from head to toe.

“T-thank you! I… I’ll just have a sarsparilla please.” The barmare hooved a bottle Lily’s way, which she opened with her hoof, hoping her cheeks weren’t too hot. “Have we…”

“What’s Daisy been up to? I almost never see that mare at the shop these days. Always getting dressed up and heading off all over Equestria on business. That girl is going to burn herself out!”

“It does seem like Roseluck is in charge of Daisy’s Fleuronic Fantasies these days. Can you imagine if she came in here!? I think I’d just die!” the barmare made a show of fanning herself with her stetson.

“Speak for yourself, Apple Fritter. I think I might have a word with her. Fifty bits for a northern crystal rose? It’s highway robbery, I tell you!” The toothpaste mare groused.

As random mares from the counter started discussing the minutiae of Lily’s occupation and seemingly just as quickly forgot about Lily herself, her ears felt flat against her head. I really need to get out of here. The comic shop is only a couple blocks away and still open for another hour. Never an awkward question or judgemental glance from the mare behind the counter… “Nevermind Goldie. I’ll just go…” Lily dropped a bit on the counter and headed for the door.

“Wha? Hey wait up Lily!” Goldie called out to Lily to no avail. Unable to hear with all the noise, Lily was almost to the exit doors when Roseluck entered and blocked her way, Raindrops at her side, the pair grinning at the diminutive mare. “Going so soon, Lily?”

Oh! Well… Yes. Maybe?” Lily sighed and about-faced back towards the bar. “No…”

“That’s the spirit, Lily!” Raindrops all but purred, gliding a bronze wing across Roseluck’s back, nearly causing her knees to buckle and her tail to flag hard, knocking the ushanka off a nearby mare’s head. Pretending not to notice, the pegasus looked directly at Lily. “There’s no need to worry about Minuette’s banter; she’s only having fun with ya. Just call her a toothpaste pony and she’ll back right off!”

“Buuuck you!” Minuette called back, the unicorn grinning as she launched a telekinetic peanut at her heckler which Raindrops narrowly dodged.

The mares at the front laughed before returning to their drinks.

Rose stood stock still, her face frozen in terror. Raindrops didn’t notice and she was having a whispered conversation with Golden Harvest at her seat.

Lily approached her cautiously. If she’s scared then I’m really in trouble! “Rose, you okay? You look as if you’ve seen the Headless Horse!”

“It’s nothing! Everything’s cool.” A few of the mares sitting on the nearby benches started pointing at Roseluck — one even squeed! — whispers carrying the message from the center of the room to the walls within minutes. “Raindrops may have… accidently brushed up against me with her wing ‘cuz I know that just didn’t happen on purpose! Everything is juuust fine.” She forced a smile to her lips.

“Uh huh…” Lily glanced over at Goldie who was waving her over to a conveniently vacated barstool next to her.

“I just need a drink. You talk with your friend here and I’ll keep the rest of  ‘em busy for ya!”

“I’m sure you will, Rose!” Raindrops cut in, her voice sly. “We have a bench all ready for us. My friends and I have so many questions about you, mystery lady!”

“Er, right!” Help me, somepony! Rose, turned around to tell Lily to go find help if she was gone for over an hour, but Lily was already distracted by her new friend. Hay-covered horseapple sundaes! Roseluck cursed internally, as she ducked her head down and hoped she’d melt into the floor before she’d make her appointment in the hot seat. You better appreciate this, Lily… and you better get laid for it!