The old timer

by Deadman123

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Drama
Length: 1024

A library of fanfic and an old pony that's planing to retire

After years of collecting books a old pony finally wants to lays his weary head down and enjoy his life but a fast young pony and her friends seem to only want to annoy him.

sex maybe in the future

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-25 07:47:01 UTC

The old bones

Chapter 1

"POP" was always the first sound I hear every morning I woke up for that last 15 years  and it was not a fun "POP" in fact it was the painful kind but I had long grown accustom to this pain. I slowly ran the edge of my chipped hoof over my eyes to clean whatever had crawled it's way into them, after a few blinks I looked to my side to grab a glass with my "teeth" inside it.

After the unpleasant taste of the alcohol I slowly turned and rolled out of my dirty mattress and landed hard on my bad leg. after a quick curse and stumbled I started toward my kitchen to make the "breakfast of  champions"  which consisted of a good swig of cheap cider and a raw egg I was ready for the hard part and today I know it was going to be bad.

It was pill time and and I was feeling it today but it was pony up time. I grabbed the pill box and slammed it down with hate and stared at it with dread and give myself the pep talk of the century, Okay yah old cok it's just some pills to help yah, no big deal right? I open the one labeled Tuesday and frowned. It was one of those 9 kind of days.

I poured them all out onto my hoof and gulped and readied myself, Okay one the count of three...THREE! And with that I shoved all of them into my mouth and nearly chocked as I forced the disgusting things down and spit the taste into the sink as fast as I could,  I mumbled Cherry and Bubblegum flaved my ass! I quicker poured another cider to clean what was left out before finally heading off to work. It was still early when I left and you never have to rush when your are your own boss, as I walked I looked at the new townhouses and new businesses that seem to cut into the sky, it was an odd feeling seeing how much ponyvillie had changed after the humans and  multi-verses had collided. Sure the universes where just starting to break apart but every so often a new one would pop up and take the town by storm but would end up lossing steam after a few days later...as I was lost in thought I nearly passed my turn if not for my bad leg started throbing from the painkillers.

I was now pissed, Damn doctors and there damn shit meds, there has to be a better way then this SHIT!

After accidentally shouting a bit to loud I noticed one of those new school carriage used to move the kids that lived far away to school and back had been stopped right next to me and a few dozen wide eyes staring at me like I had been the one to free Discord and with nothing else to loss I scanned the fillys and colts with my old eyes before saying load enough for them to all hear, I regret nothing you cunts...And with that I simply walked away and finally found my way in front of my work with its old red and gold painted letters reading "The Archive." And with a push of my hoof and a ring of a bell I know the day had begun.

I flipped the main light switch and the lights flickered for a few seconds before they finally calmed down, I looked around the shop and before I smirked and said honey I'm home! I chuckling to myself, this had been a stupid joke I had made since I was 15 years old, the joke may have long lost relevance but it comforted me in someway... I looked around for anything out of place and found none thankfully, I walked to the desk next to the store window and finally sat down in an old barber's chair I had acquired and turned in a big motion like one of those old villains in the movies, I looked up at the neon "open" sign and clicked it on and shouted And he said let there be light! but as I said that the phone rang making me jump, as I scrambled to get the phone I knocked over a stack of the new books and shouted FUCK! as I picked up the phone finally I composed myself in time to hear a young women's voices ''Hello? Uh...is this The Archive's?'' I took a deep breath and forced a smile and said Yes, yes it is...miss? "Just called Dash" she said, Okay miss dash what can I help you with today I said as i started reaching for the books.

The girl sounded like she was crumpling paper or unfolding some and as I listened hear her mumbling something about "fucking damn cheat paper" before she finally spoke to me "I'm looking for "Daring Doo the temple of the fire gods under the sea" and was wondering if you had it? I hummed softly thinking and picked up one of the new books before saying I don't think s- as I said that I looked at the book in hoof and nearly facehoofed, I then heard miss dash speak up and say "mister are you okay? I sighed and chuckled and said yes miss dash we just so happen to have it new, I swear hear a small squeal before she hurrlie said" can hold it for me, ill be right there?!

I couldn't help but smile at how excited someone was for a book that I had to say ok, as she was about to hang up she stopped and coughed and mumbled a thank you shyly, I looked around and coughed awkwardly and said in a little deeper voice Your quite welcome and then things got weird, for awhile neither of use said anything, we just listen to each other breath before she finally coughed and said "W-well thanks again, what's your name ? I cleared my throat and introduced myself, you can called me Mister Iron Hoof.