The Music Maker

As the beautiful night crawled by, the cold started getting to us. Fluttershy looked at me, and we both agreed that we should go back to the library and get warmed up again. As we made our way back along the cobbled path, she made sure to at least hover to make sure her hooves didn’t get so hurt again from the jagged rocks on our way. Accidentally, she hit her head on a low hanging branch.

“You alright?” I asked with concern

“Oh yes I’m alright,” squeaked Fluttershy. “I’m just clumsy every now and then.”

She giggled a little, which made me giggle a little too.

“Yeah, I’m pretty clumsy myself” I said with a chuckle. Then I noticed she was shivering. Quite vigorously. Oh jeez… she was so cold she was freezing. Without hesitation I asked, “You wanna put on my sweatshirt?”

She blushed as she of course declined.

“Fluttershy, I can see you shivering you’re so cold. I insist you wear my sweatshirt at least until we make it back to the library.”

“B-b-but, t-then you’ll get cold…” She began to stammer. I couldn’t tell if it was her shyness or the chilly night.

“Don’t worry about me,” I replied with a smile. “You see how long the hair is on my head? It’ll keep the rising heat from leaving my body. I’ll be fine” After all, having Fluttershy beside me was more warming than anything I could ever wear.

She finally accepted and put on my sweatshirt. It was a musty, old, black hoodie with a faded logo of some band I was into when I was fifteen. But regardless, it was my favorite hoodie. The perfect size, perfect length, perfect texture, perfect shade of black, perfect memories. A lot of my life was spent wearing that hoodie. So of course my scent would be literally imprinted on the damn thing…

“It smells a little odd…” Fluttershy spoke hesitantly

Darn it… I should have washed it before today…

“I’m so sorry Fluttershy. I just—”

“No it’s ok. I actually really like it. It’s sort of… homey to me.” She paused. “Kind of like a newborn, but a bit stronger. Crisper.”

“Oh. Well glad you like it then,” I smiled as she smiled back at me.

“I do. It’s really warm. I see why you’re so possessive of it sometimes.”

It was true. I was extremely possessive of that sweater more than any article of clothing. It was practically part of my skin from how often I kept it on me. And Fluttershy was the first person… pony that I had ever allowed to wear it. And I was comfortable with it. Which only made me all the more content with myself. I was finally trusting of another with one of the closest things to me besides my Casio.

I smiled and said “Well, I trust you with it. You’re honestly my best friend, Fluttershy.”

She blushed… then said something that struck a bit of a realization in me…

“You’re my best friend too… Possessive or not… Disorder or not… I enjoy everything about you.”

I stopped dead in my tracks…

I completely had forgotten that I had Asperger’s syndrome… All my life I had been reminded of it… Always being singled out or made to feel ‘special’ instead of just ‘same’. The constant negative attention I was given had only just made it worse and I eventually began to hate it. Even twilight just made me hate it all the more because of all the interrogation sessions we had about it… I forgave her only because she kept the promise of not bringing it up so much. But Fluttershy helped me feel a new feeling for it… A much more fulfilling feeling.

Acceptance.

Here in Ponyville, I felt like one of them. An equal. Same. Even with my Disorder, I was considered a friend to them… to her.

“A-are you ok…? I didn’t upset you did I?” She hovered in front of me with a worried expression…

I had to be sure… I had to make sure that how I felt right then was accurate enough to act upon… “Do you really mean what you said Fluttershy…?”

She soothingly let out a small sigh and fixed her truthful eyes on mine.

“Yes. I meant every word. I would never lie to you about how I feel. You’re too special to me to ever even think about doing something like that.”

As soon as I heard those words, I allowed a tear… the first tear in years… to fall down my face…

I was free.

I immediately wrapped my arms around the golden pegasus and just let loose in a stream of tears and thank-you’s.

As we reached the library again, we still heard the loud shrieks of party goers just carrying on as if nothing happened. Thank goodness they didn’t notice we had gone. Fluttershy slowly rose up to the bedroom window as I climbed the few branches leading up to it. We clumsily stumbled into the bedroom and Fluttershy began to look at me rather thoughtfully.

“Um, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now… If you don’t mind that is…”

“No, it’s ok. Go ahead, ask me anything.”

“Well, I know you’ve been gone from your world for a really long time now but…” She somehow was able to gaze into my soul when she asked it. “If you had a chance to go back… do you think you would?”

This caught me off guard. Fluttershy was never really one to get so personal. And I am not good with personal questions… I never know what to say… Especially to a question like this… Even with how accepted I felt here and how many loyal friends I had, back on Earth, that was my home. I belonged there. Even though I didn't respect them, I had a family. A handful of friends. A home to call my own. A place where I didn't have to feel like I was mooching off of anyone... If there was a chance I would certainly take it… Wouldn’t I?

“I… I really don’t know Fluttershy…”

I said it quickly but softly. I just didn’t want to stay on that subject… I hate feeling indecisive…

“Well… If you ever choose to go back, just know that even though you—” She blushed then gulped a bit. “Even though you are from a place so unfamiliar to me, that you’re the only one who I haven’t felt the need to be shy around.”

Before I could even take in the words she spoke, she sprang up and gave me a soft friendly kiss on the cheek, then flew out of the bedroom window faster than I had ever seen her fly before. She… She didn’t feel shy around me… Fluttershy. A pony who’s personality was in her name… Did I really make her feel that secure…? I suppose silence truly is golden. My constant quietness earned me the dearest and closest friend I could ever ask for… Fluttershy… A golden pony with a pink mane and butterfly shyness was my best friend… I couldn’t have even dreamt of anyone better to hold that title.

A short while passed. I figured I’d stay at Twi’s for the night since it was closer to the train station. I had gone down the stairs to the party again to see that they still had a lot of energy in them. I spotted Twilight in the far corner getting a drink of punch. I trudged my way through the ponies getting close enough to get her attention.

When I reached her, I whispered, “Hey Twi, as fun as this party is for me, I think now would be a good time to end it. Tomorrow’s a pretty big day for me.”

She agreed with me and we slowly ushered the rest of the ponies out the door.

After we cleaned up the spilled drinks, streamers, confetti, and crumbs, Fluttershy, Twilight and I both just collapsed to the floor. It’s not every day any of us got to party so wildly. And I had never done so before in my life. How Pinkie managed it was far beyond my comprehension. Randomness aside, we were practically wrestling our eyelids to keep them open.

I began to imagine what performing tomorrow on a real stage would be like: Bright lights, booming sound, and best of all, hundreds of ponies applauding wildly. And at least two of them would be cheering my name...

My imagination was cut off by Twilight asking my name.

“Yeah Twi?” I asked back.

“Is it alright if I ask you something kind of important? About Fluttershy?”

“Sure I guess. What’s up?”

“Do you love her?”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

She paused. “I guess it’s just that ever since you’ve been staying with her, you’ve been so happy. I figured maybe you had a thing for her.”

I can see how she would arrive at that conclusion. Hell half the time I treated her like a girlfriend, or rather, marefriend with how much I cared about her. Though, Twilight’s odd assumption demanded explanation.

“Honestly, I don’t really feel for Fluttershy in that way. I mean sure I could but, and I think she’ll agree with me, it would just be a little too hard for either one of us to get used to. I mean, we’re completely different species. There’s just too much about us that would keep us from working out like that…”

I took a deep breath before I continued.

“However, I admit, we do feel for each other very greatly. She makes me feel very secure with myself. And I think I do the same with her. We are strong enough to face anything when we’re near each other.”

Twilight let out kind of a sigh of comfort.

“I understand. I personally think you both are very healthy for each other. I was a bit suspicious about you both being an item, but that’s just because I’d never want her to be hurt. Not that I think you would, but she’s one of my best friends too. I’d never want anything to happen to her.”

“Don’t worry about that Twi. We decided on just being really close friends. She deserves the stallion of her dreams, and I… well… we’ll just see what comes my way ‘til then ok?

I began to think about Fluttershy’s question earlier… Would I ever go back? I may not have believed in ghosts, but with how haunting this question would be for me, I could easily mistake it for one…

Twilight yawned and said one final thing before she allowed herself to drift off to sleep:

“I think you deserve love too. But if you can’t find, you can at least know that you have two mares here who always will.”

I could feel my soul smiling. I don’t know what it is about this place, but I’ve always felt a little warmer inside ever since I came here. Slowly my eyes began to close as I remembered a line from a familiar song that easily summed up how I felt about Fluttershy.

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I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

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