Into equestria (self-insert)

by Insanityisreal

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Drama, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1937

What happen's when the Princesses and Queen Chrysalis take me to Equestria? Will there be romance? Irritation? Death? Unknown insanity? Read and find out! Another old story I'm grabbing from my old account Had to reupload since it came in html format

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-25 21:35:37 UTC

Princesses?

Chapter 1 , Princesses and a Queen.

I couldn't help but grin as I turned on the TV, and put down the bean dip I had bought earlier. I love bean dip, it's the best food in the world, or at least tied with tacos, burgers, pizza and a couple other things. I was just about to dip my chip in the bean dip when my doorbell rang. Who could that be? I wondered as I got up and went towards the door.

I stared thru the one way looking blinds (i:e I can see them, they can't see me.) And stared at 4 girls in what I'm guessing was a pizza delivery outfit, because they were carrying boxes that were pizza shaped, but there was no symbol for which pizza company or whatever they worked for. That and I didn't order pizza, and I know no one ordered pizza for me so I was immediately suspicious.

"Whose there?" I called through the door.

"Were uh (whispering I couldn't hear) pizza delivery women" said one of the girls. I stared at them, something immediately grabbed my attention...there hair color, and length. They all had very long hair, in the colors of dark blue, a sort of shimmering rainbow, very dark aqua-green, and the last had a pink, cream, and purple striped hair color, all of their hair went down to their hips.

It couldn't be...I thought to myself shaking my head. But just in case, I walked over and grabbed my phone quickly messaging my best friend I said "If I don't message back in a hour, get over here, and bring a weapon, you know what I mean"

Then walking back to the door, I opened it up and as calmly as I could I said and pointed to each girl I named "Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and last but not least Queen Chrysalis."

They all just stared at me open mouth, and to my surprise dropped the pizza boxs they were holding.

"Lucky guess?" I asked watching them all, I got ready to run just in case.

"He knows too much" the girl (who I guessed was Queen Chrysalis) shouted to the other girls then grabbed me and looked straight into my eyes. Her eyes glowed grin as she grinned with sharp teeth, "Goodnight human" then a bright flash of light blinded me and I lost all consciousness as the darkness overcame me. I'm not sure but I think I heard one of the girls shout "Chrysalis no!" before I lost consciousness but I can't be sure.

I groaned as I got up, rubbing my head as my head throbbed.

"What the hell happened?" I asked myself. I glanced around the room only to see it just as I left it. I chuckled as I thought, I must have had one helluva dream. I got up slowly and stretched, listening to a couple pops from my back.

"Thank goodness your ok! We were worried." Said a voice behind say, the voice was very calm and yet it sounded worried and yet relieved. I turned around to see Princess Celestia standing there, a wide smile on her face. I couldn't help but gape.

"B-but I thought-" I was cut off as she said with a small smile.

"Yes, I'm sure you thought it was a dream but I am quite real, WE (she corrected herself) are quite real." She nodded towards my room, where I could see Princess Candence and Princess Luna chatting, something about how itchy human clothes are compared to ponies clothes. I couldn't help but wonder where the heck Chrysalis had gone to, mostly because I wanted to give her a piece of my mind/fist.

"Where's Chrysalis?" I watched Princess Celestia's eyes narrow a little, and I swear I saw her horn glow faintly. She's reading my mind isn't she? I will have to watch that.

"She's checking out the other room." Celestia nodded towards the room next to mine, and across from out bathroom.

I quickly ran in there just to make sure she wasn't doing anything funny. When I got there she was sniffing the bed with a look of disgust.

"Your human odors are disgusting. You should bathe a lot more than once a month." She spat in my general direction with the last word. I just glared back at her, doing my best to ignore what she said.

"As a matter of fact most humans shower and bathe at least every other bloody day. Judging by you scent you must have bathed last week." I glared at her, it was true she smelled terrible.

"STOP IT!" Princess Luna used her special shout on us. I gritted my teeth, covering my ears. "It's time for your trialls"

Trials

Chapter 2: Trials

To my great surprise, a bright light engulfed me and I was flung straight towards the ceiling of my house. I closed my eyes, hoping the pain would be quick, but it never came. I opened my eyes to see I was being flung towards the moon. I tried to turn around to stare at my house, to maybe see the damage or the princesses, but I couldn't turn around.

I landed on the moon face first, grunting loudly. I lifted myself up, wondering how I was even breathing on the moon. I glanced around to find Princess Luna, standing a little ways away, her back turned to me. I decided she might be the one to tell me what the trial was.

"Umm…Princess Luna?" I asked, wondering what kind of trial would be on the moon. I almost immediately thought of fighting space aliens. I chuckled, that would be fricken awesome I thought to myself with a small, dumb grin.

"…would you stay here with me, for the thousand years, knowing you could never leave?" Princess Luna asked as she turned towards me, her face dark and sad. the question lingered as I looked away from her, trying to figure this out myself. Would I? A thousand years?

"….I believe I would. I would stay here for the entire time, though I wouldn't live for a thousand years, maybe another 50 if I'm lucky." I said staring straight into her eyes. She continued to stare into my eyes, till finally she nodded a smile capturing her lips.

"There are not many ponies I know of that would have said that, even for a princess." She came over to me and nuzzled my shoulder gently, then sat next to me. "I want you to make me a promise, I want you to promise me that when you get to equestria, that you will visit me."

I glanced at her expecting to see a joking grin, or maybe even a mischievous smile on her face. But she seemed to really mean it. "Princess Luna, I promise I will come visit you."

She nodded glancing away. That's when I noticed her horn was glowing. I just sighed as I realized that it was time for the next trial.

"Good luck." She said, as the light once again engulfed me.

This time I was falling through the air straight into a large tunnel, but by closer look I realized it was a cave. A cave with big, jagged, rocks, I covered my eyes. If I don't see what's going to kill me, maybe I won't feel the pain, I thought to myself.

I didn't hit the jagged rocks, or the floor, instead I was grabbed from behind and lifted gently down to the ground.

"Thank yo-" I cut off as I saw who had caught me. It was Chrysalis. She had a bit of a sneer on her face, she bared her teeth as she chuckled darkly.

"What? Don't I deserve a thank you for not letting you impale yourself on one of my lovely jagged rocks."

"…thank you." I bit back a curse that wanted itself known. I glanced around the cave, not just any cave, Chrysalis's cave.

I began to wonder what her next trial would be when Chrysalis jabbed me in the gut. Giving her a glare, I asked "Why'd you do that? That hurt!" It hadn't hurt all that much, it was more of an annoyance, maybe an irritation.

"My trial will be a question…" She said ignoring my question all together. She glanced down before continuing "If you knew one of the reasons I attacked Canterlot was to save the lives of my …people, would you have stood beside me? Or would you stand with Celestia, and her student?"

That was probably one of the hardest questions I've ever been asked. I had to think about it. I thought for five minutes straight, knowing that if the answer was wrong I probably wouldn't be going to Equestria. Finally I decided there was only one way to answer this.

"I wouldn't stand next to either of you, I'd do my best to help both sides, just enough to be neutral." I frowned, hoping that my answer was the one she wanted to hear. It was a very difficult question to answer. I mean, most bronies would go straight to Celestia side, and yet never seem to question why Chrysalis did it.

"Good answer." Chrysalis seemed to give me a genuine smile, before her horn glowed green. "I hope you come to visit me and my changelings, I'd love it if you would give a...eh….a donation" before I was able to ask what she meant by it, but I was teleported again. This time I fell straight into a large field of flowers.

I expected to hear a little crunch of flowers being crushed underneath me, but instead I heard a soft "Oof". I glanced to see Princess Cadence, who I had landed on, smiling at me happily.

"Hello there, how are the tests going?" She giggled quietly as I got off her back, stumbling slightly. "My test will be very simple, and it will be the last one as well. Celestia's one will come later on."

I just nodded staring at all the flowers, there were almost every color, except brown, silver etc…the colors flowers shouldn't be. "What exactly is your test Princess Cadence?"

"Hmm…" she said as she trotted ahead of me, her tail moving back and forth slowly. "If a mare was to fall for you, and you hadn't told her you were a human, and you had to leave because, hmm, you wanted to see your family again. Would you leave her without telling her? Would you even let a mare get that close? Would you fall for several mares, having to in the end break their hearts? Would you protect them with your life?" She turned to me, with a sad smile on her face. "Do not answer this right now, I want you to experience Ponyville first. Experience the love of a mare before you answer me."

I couldn't help but wonder what kind of love of a mare she meant, as if she had heard my thoughts, she gave me a slight glare, before saying "Like a marefriend, maybe a nice mare you take out, nothing …sexual."

I couldn't help but chuckle as she gave me a little glare, before she giggled to. "Is it time for me to-" I didn't get to say the rest when I was teleported straight into my living room, and right onto my couch. I let out a little oof as I bounced off the couch and landed on the floor. I glanced up to see Princess Celestia.

"So…how'd I do?"