The Writer’s Dilema
“Bleh, what am I doing…? Self insertion, really? You’re terrible Tyrfang… An awful writer…” A young pony grumbled, as he typed away at his laptop, music blasting out of his headphones.
It’s been almost a week and a half, since the colt had finished muddling through school. Time he’d been hoping to just relax, and be able to work on just writing. But so far, he’d done nothing of the sort. All he’d been doing, was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, as he spent time doing absolutely nothing productive.
It’s not that he didn’t want to write. Tyrfang (the pony, I mean. Not me of course. That’d be silly, I’m not a pony. And I have absolutely no association with this pony. Nope. None at all.) loved writing, and wanted to do it badly. But he’d been struck by something awful, something most terrible, that the young pony wished never existed.
Writer’s Block.
A most terrible affliction , which plagued his brain. All he could do, was stare helplessly at the screen, at his precious works, and could do nothing to feed their starving chapters. Try as he might, his hoof always seemed to return to the backspace key, and make whatever that was generated on the screen, disappear.
However, he ended up surviving, after those few weeks of suffering, and finally able to get his mojo back on. However, right as he was about to finally get some work done… His parents decided to drag him on vacation.
So there he was, staring at his laptop screen, (which was technically his mother’s, since he was forbidden from bringing his own, what with all the games loaded on it.) while on a flight down to Mexicolt. Bored out of his mind.
“Hmph…I don’t even like traveling.” The colt thought to himself, grumbling. “I could be at home, either re-watching MLH episodes, or write…Plus, I can’t believe I’m gonna miss Meet the Fire Crazy Unicorn! Aaaaaaaaaargh, I was so excited for the update too! Stupid vacation…”
At this point, Tyrfang was desperate to write something. He knew if he didn’t write anything new, whether it’d be adding more to his fics, or writing something original, the horrid Writer’s Block would come back again.
So, he decided to try to write something original. Something about some random pony, leaving home. But he immediately scrapped it, since the young pony had no idea where he was going with it, and there’d be no definitive end, and he’d just end up rambling. So Tyrfang tried to do a different approach, and write another fan-fiction. A very simple, one shot. It’d be about some human, that would travel the land of Humania, and try to find out why they did all their evil things. But he scrapped that too, since he ended up straying off the point, again, and realized that it’d end up being way to long for him to write. He had enough on his plate, trying to write two different fics at once, that were long enough already. …He’d also fallen asleep, half way through writing the first paragraph, so that’s a thing too.
“Bleh, I give up…” The little earth pony thought, exasperated, as he deleted everything. He had failed to do anything, to stop the Writer’s Block from coming back into his brain. As he shut the laptop, he looked over to his snoring parents, not before yawning. “…I think I’ll take an example from my parents, and take a nap…”
***
A few hours later, the colt woke up with a snort. Adjusting his glasses, and rubbing his eyes sleepily, he looked outside the window, and found that he had no idea where the plane was.
“…Oy, shouldn’t we have landed by now?” He grumbled, scratching his head, and trying to flatten his messy black mane. “It’s been three hours…”
“…How’d you figure it was three hours?” His mother said, giving him an odd look. “Did you forget the time zone difference?”
“…Oh come on!” Tyrfang thought, almost ready to flip the tray in front of him. He was sure three hours would be suffice, for the plane to reach its first destination. There, he’d switch flights, and travel to Mexicolt…after waiting 6 hours. But the young pony didn’t mind. At least there, he’d be able to stretch his legs out, and actually do something, instead of just sit there, cramped, and listening to music.
He glanced over at his mother’s laptop again, after a few minutes of staring blankly out the window again. He was at that desperate point again, where he wanted to do anything. He was even thinking of playing Solimare.
So he started up the computer again. But instead of opening the game, as intended, he decided to try again, at writing something new. But again, attempt after attempt, he just ended up deleting everything.
“Argh, y’know what? Buck it. I’m out of ideas.” The yellow colt thought, as he stared at the blank document, again. “I’m just going to get rid of all this pent-up frustration, by writing out what I’m going through right now… At least I’ll feel better.”
But suddenly, an idea came to his head. It was a terrible idea, and he figured he’d regret it later, but he decided he’d do the most unoriginal, unimaginative thing ever. He’d write what he’s going through right now, except as a pony!
“Hehe…Then, I’d have an excuse to post it on FiSFiction, and get a few views, and favorites… I’d probably lose respect, but who cares! I’d do it so well, that I don’t!” The little pony thought mischievously, deluded by his desperation to do something.
So he began to write…and immediately felt sick, after writing the first line. This went against his entire nature, and the handbook for fiction writers. Nopony liked an author, who self-inserted themselves into a story. It’s like they’re grabbing for attention, and/or are too lazy to come up with a new character. …But he continued on, anyways.
As he wrote, he changed a lot of the words, and language so that it’d be similar to what was in Friendship is Science, and made a lot of puns about real-life places, and events coming up. Each one both making him giggle with glee, yet at the same time, wanting to slap himself for each one, since they were all terrible.
As the plane finally arrived at it’s destination, in Texas, he finally finished his ‘fic’. At 1,167 words, and 3 pages, he thought it was a terribly ironic masterpiece, that sucked beyond belief. But he’d still plan on uploading it anyways, to see if it actually passed screening at FiSFic. And if it did, he’d laugh, and punch himself, for doing something so stupid, and getting away with it. On the plus side though, Tyrfang finally got this writing mojo back, and was excited to get back home, so he could finally add a few more chapters to his fic.
