"I Shall Call Her..."

by Dr Atlas

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Comedy, Random, Breezies
Length: 4066

While plotting her arch-nemesis's downfall, Trixie finds someone who looks like her in every way...except a breezie. Evil laughter ensures.

After running away from her rival, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie hatches a plan to show just who is the more powerful mare.
Then a breezie came into her life...

Author's Diary: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEar diary...breezies are underrated.
That is all.
Note to self...watching Austin Powers at night gives you weird dreams.

Published 2016-10-06 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-13 00:57:08 UTC

Me and Breezie-me

With all her might, Trixie kicked front door to her wagon home and stomped inside, shutting the door and panting heavily. “T-Tha...That...That accursed mare!” Trixie stomped her hoof on the wooden floor and groaned. “H-How dare she! How dare she do this to Trixie!” The showmare got up and walked around the only place she could call home right now as the night sky loomed over her.

“You may have bested Trixie this time, Sparkle…” Trixie smiled evilly. “But she will be back...and more powerful than you can possible imagine!” She got up and turned to her backstage boxes. “All Trixie needs is the right tools, the right magic, and the perfect plan to show just who’s the highest level unicorn.” She grabbed hold of the box and opened it, her eyes traveled through the contents of the chest. “Now...let's see.” She dove her hooves into the mess, trying to find something to help get her revenge.

“Perhaps Trixie can find a spell to turn that mare into a frog, or maybe she can find an artifact to curse her for years to come, maybe even a pin needle that’s currently...in...Trixie’s…” Trixie pulled one of her hooves out to see a needle, that was attached to a cork covering a small jar filled with dust, had punctured her hoof. Seeing this made Trixie cry out in slight pain and throw the glass jar behind her, landing on a table and surprisingly still intact, the needle now dug deeper into the cork. “Well, certainly not a jar like that.”

Trixie was about to start rummaging through the box, but the needle left such a prick that it was starting to bleed. Trixie sighed at this and looked around for a bandage. Meanwhile, the blood that was on the needle had gone through and was now dripping on the pile of dust inside.

With her back still to the table, Trixie wrapped a bandage, that was far more than she needed, on her hoof in an effort to stop the bleeding. “It just had to be on Trixie’s performing hoof...” She muttered as she threw the rest of the roll of bandages behind her. “Now then…” Trixie walked back to the box as light started shining in the jar. Trixie was too focused on revenge to notice the light, her head inside the box to get a closer look in finding something. “Come on, Trixie must have something.” The jar started shaking slightly as a blue mist traveled around the inside.

Trixie was about to move to the next box, but her hooves caught something that made her eyes shimmer, something that she knew would be the perfect tool in aiding her plans. “Oh...yes...YES! This is perfect!” She held up a piece of parchment and laughed as the light dimmed down behind her and the shaking stopped. “Twilight won’t stand a chance.” Trixie chuckled and set the paper back down. “And with her out of the way…” She turned around, just as the mist in the bottle cleared “Trixie will rule all of-” Trixie stopped talking the second she laid her eyes on what inside the jar on the table.

Instead of a small pile of dust, their laid a small creature with long bug like wings, a blue body with long twig like arms, two antennas producing off her head and hair that matched Trixie’s, in fact, her whole form almost looked exactly like Trixie. The show mare’s eyes widened once the creature got up and rubbed its head, looking around in confusion until it looked up at Trixie.

Both breezie and pony stared at each other in silence, neither of them wanting to speak up. In an effort to see clearly, Trixie squinted her eyes, the breezie doing the same. Trixie then moved her head back, the small creature copying her movement. Now thinking this was just a mirror trick, Trixie tried other movements, from lifting one of her legs to tilting her head, to even making strange faces; the little bug did all.

Trixie then rubbed her eyes and said, “Trixie must be too exhausted from all of this…”

“I know what you mean, it’s pretty hard to sleep with you talking to yourself.”

Hearing this insult, Trixie glared at her strange sized doppelganger. “HEY! Trixie will have you know that she is only plotting...to…to...” She then realized the bug spoke. “Wait, you talk?”

The breezie crossed her small arms. “Uh, yeah. I can talk. What made you think I couldn’t?”

Trixie shrugged innocently. “Well, Trixie doesn’t really know who you are, or what you are, and, more importantly, why you look like Trixie.”

The breezie put on a look of confusion, finding it hard to understand this pony. “Uh, why do you talk like that?”

“Like what?”

“You keep saying your name in every sentence. Are you, like, narcissistic or something?”

Hearing yet another insult, Trixie went eye to eye with her small version, making the breezie back up as far as she could in the jar. “Trixie is far from being a narcissist, she only likes projecting herself so that the audience will know just how important she really is.”

“Soooo...a narcissist?”

Trixie narrowed her eyes, wanting to drop the subject and focus on the more important one. “You still haven’t answered Trixie’s questions, why do you look like her?”

The breezie shrugged. “I, uh, really don’t know…”

Trixie sighed. “Okay, what is your name?”

“I...don’t know either.”

Trixie raised an eye. “Do you even know what you are?”

The small creature thought long and hard about this, but every time she tried to think of the past, it came up blank. “No...”

“Then what do you know?”

The breezie looked down, her mind still a haze. “Nothing, really. All I know is that I woke up in here, then I heard someone rambling about revenge.” The bug pointed at her. “I take it it was you who was monologuing?”

Trixie didn’t seem to realize the jar the bug was in was the same one she threw, her mind still focused on getting revenge. “I don’t know how you got in here, or why you’re in a jar, but Trixie must have answers for this.” Trixie tapped her chin, trying to figure out what this creature was. “Hmmm, wait one second.” Trixie turned to her bookshelf and lit up her horn, trying to find the right book.

The bug tried to get a look, but the jar she was in refused to let her get a glimpse. “Whatcha looking for?”

“Here it is.” Trixie took hold of a book saying ‘encyclopedia of creatures’ and opened it. “Let’s see, hydras...no, timberwolves...no, ursas...hay no, insects...not changelings...hmmm, ah ha!” Trixie stopped turning pages and showed the bug the book. “I think Trixie found a match.”

The small, long legged bug glanced over the page, seeing a creature that had all the characteristics of her. Her answer lied at the top of the page, where it said. “Breezie?” The bug looked at herself as Trixie set the book down on the table. “That's what I am?”

“Well, that seems to be what you are. Now, on the subject on why you look like Trixie...”

The breezie’s eyes lit up once she realize just how cramped of a space she was in. “Uh, hey, finding that out is great and all, but c-can you let me out of here?”

Trixie closed her eyes and shook her head. “Not until Trixie gets more answers.”

“I can’t really give answers if I don’t have any air in here.”

Realizing the creature needed air, Trixie opened her eyes and smiled nervously. “Oh, uh, right.” Trixie lit up her horn and took hold of the jar in her magical grip. The breezie falling on her back in the process. Trixie then twisted the cork and unplugged the jar, the breezie flying out in seconds.

After sucking in some fresh air, the breezie panted and said. “Now, to answer that question, I still don’t know, maybe I’m, like, a part of you or something.”

Trixie laughed. “Like that’s true. I think Trixie knows exactly why you look like her.” The breezie waited for a response. “You’re a fan!”

The bug regretted waiting. “Uh...what?”

Trixie smiled. “You must be, You flew in here, put yourself in a jar, and prepared yourself to see me, it’s not the first time I’ve seen someone dress up as Trixie in an attempt to impress me.” Trixie looked over her breezie self. “And I must say, despite being a different species, you look magnificent.”

“Uh...thanks?” Breezie said with a tilt of her head. “But I still don’t think that’s-”

“And since it seems that you’re suffering from amnesia, I think Trixie shall call you…”

The breezie’s eyes lit up, shimmering as she waited for a title to be given to her.

“Breezie-me.”

There was a long, awkward pause between the pony and breezie. Eventually, the breezie flew down to the table. “‘Breezie-me’?” Trixie nodded. “I was kinda thinking I’d have more pizzazz in it...h-how about...uh, i dunno, Lula. how about that?”

Trixie lightly patted the breezie’s head. “If that’s what you want to be called, then go ahead, as for Trixie, she shall call you Breezie-me, it’s easier to remember and sounds cute.”

Lula rubbed her head. “Right, because being easy and cute is important.”

Trixie smiled at this before realizing what she was doing minutes ago. “Oh, right, back to getting revenge on Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twilight...Sparkle?” Lula asked.

Trixie nodded. “Yes, that mare made Trixie look like a complete fool in front of everypony, so now, Trixie has a plan on how to deal with this mare and make her wish she never met the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Lula tilted her head. “And...uh, what’s that?”

Trixie smiled and lit up her horn, opening a nearby chest and pulling out a piece of parchment. “Simple, I just need a little bit more power.”

“Where are you gonna get more of that?” Lula got her answer as Trixie slammed the paper on the table, Lula yelping from the sudden movement.

“With this.” Trixie said sinisterly, pushing the paper toward her.

Lula looked at the page, seeing a drawing that resembled a winged and horned pony on top of a triangle with a gem, and in big bold words on top of the page said, “‘Alicorn Amulet’?” Lula asked. “But don’t you need to have wings to be one of those?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie doesn’t need to be an alicorn to use it. She just needs to control it’s power.”

Lula stepped onto the parchment and studied it carefully. “So, will it make you as strong as an alicorn or something?”

Trixie smiled. “Maybe even stronger, who knows.”

Lula sat down, having several questions on this. “What if that Sparkle pony becomes more powerful, maybe she’ll be an alicorn the next time you see her.”

Trixie laughed. “Like Sparkle would ever become an alicorn, I’d see her in a castle first before I ever see her in wings.”

Lula sighed. “If you say so, but what will you do once you defeat her?”

Trixie put her hooves together and rubbed them mischievously. “Once the mare is lying on the ground in defeat, Trixie shall throw her out of town and rule over it with an iron hoof, making all her friends do her bidding and all the ponies bow to her will! YES! Trixie will have complete control over everypony in Ponyville!” Trixie reeled her head back and laughed.

As for Lula, she raised her twig arm to ask another question. “Then what?”

Trixie stopped laughing and looked down at her breezie self. “Wa-What do you mean, Breezie-me?”

Lula stood up. “Ya know, what will you do after all that? I mean, I’m sure it will get kinda boring not having that Sparkle pony around, and I think everypony will eventually tire out if you rule them with an iron hoof.”

Trixie blinked. “Um...well-”

Lula flew up to her. “And do you even know how to rule? I mean, you’re just a show mare. Ya gotta know about managing a town, controlling the food supply, teaching others how to work, making sure everyone's doing their job. You’re just one mare, Trixie.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and walked past Lula. “Oh, what do you know.”

Lula glared at her pony form and flew up to her face, stopping Trixie in her tracks. “I know that if this ‘Twilight Sparkle’ can run you out of town, she could probably do it again.”

Trixie gasped. “H-How dare you say that, Breezie-me. Sparkle was just lucky that she had an Ursa minor at her side, but when I take the amulet, I’ll have more than enough power to take out anypony who stands in my way!”

Lula tilted her head. “Even an Ursa minor?”

Trixie was hesitant for a few seconds, but nodded. “Y-Yes, even that.” She then held her head high. “Now, since you are now Trixie’s small minion in this-”

Lula put her hooves up. “Whoa whoa whoa, I never agreed to being your-”

“Trixie will give you the privilege of being by her side as she rules over everyone.”

Lula was about to speak up again, but she didn’t say a word once she realized this pony would soon rule over a town, and being on her good side would be a good choice. “Um...okay then, so uh...where do we find this amulet?”

Trixie’s brain hit a brick wall the second that question was ask. “Uh...um, w-well, uh.”

Lula’s face went deadpan. “You don’t even know where it is, do you?”

Trixie growled and took the paper off the table with her magic. “Hey, at least Trixie knows what it looks like!”

“Yeah, but looking at something isn’t the same as getting it.”

“Trixie will find it! it just takes time!”

Lula crossed her front legs. “Alright then, where do we start looking?”

Trixie started fidgeting. “Uh, p-perhaps somepony has it, a-and is willing to give it to Trixie!”

“For a price…”

Trixie’s plan hit another wall, making her sit on a floor to think about this. “Oh, Right…”

“But you have enough, right?” Lula flew up to her, but Trixie just looked away. “Right?”

She sighed. “Trixie is flat broke, she thought for sure the performance in Ponyville would help raise her some bits, but it seems that show business might not help her once word gets out of what happened there.”

Even though Lula was skeptical about this mare, she knew seeing her sad wasn’t right. “Then try something else! I’m sure there’s tons of jobs out there for you, maybe even one in Ponyville.”

Trixie stood up, saying something that she would regret in the next few weeks of looking for work. “Trixie would rather work in a rock farm then in Ponyville!”

Lula shrugged. “If you say so.”

Trixie glanced out the window, ignoring her clones sass. “And once Trixie gets her hooves on that amulet, she will rule all.” She started laughing evilly again. Lula flying up to her side after five rounds of it, Trixie noticed this and nudged her. “Come, Breezie-me, join me!” She laughed more, only for Lula to face hoof.

“This is gonna be a hard life for us…”

Author's Note

Expect a musical number next chapter.
Unfortunatly

It's a Tragic Life

“‘No rock farm. We’re not going on a rock farm for bits. A rock farm is no place for a show mare.’ How many times did you say that, Trixie? How many times did you say ‘oh, don’t worry, breezie-me, the next town won’t laugh at us. They’ll love our show. Then we’ll have all the bits and won’t have to resort to working on a rock farm.’ and what happened?’”

With gritted teeth, Trixie continued walking in the cold, rainy night, only a dark overcoat covering her with Lula flying above, wearing the same, only in her size. “You know, Breezie-me, Trixie is slowly starting to regret bringing you along in her journey to get the amulet.”

“But who found it for you?” Lula flew closer to her. “Who searched for it while you worked? Who flew around to get answers while you broke rocks? Who spent weeks on end going around until finally finding it in a shop?”

Trixie glared at her. “And who has the bits to pay for it?”

Their eyes were locked for a few moments until Lula looked away, her front legs crossed. “Still wouldn't have found it without me.”

“Trixie would of found it eventually, you just found it faster and saved Trixie’s time!” Trixie continued walking as Lula’s back stayed turned to her. She sighed. “and, as much Trixie hates to say it...she’s grateful for that, but your attitude towards her needs to change.”

“Attitude towards you?” Lula turned to her. “Trixie, I think it’s your egotistical attitude towards me, and everyone else, that needs to change!”

Trixie gasped, shocked to hear her say this after thanking her. “H-How dare you! Trixie is far from having such a big ego.”

“You say your name in almost every sentence!”

Trixie held her nose up. “Trixie does not!”

Lula couldn’t even respond to that without glaring at her. “Trixie, have you ever thought about changing the way you talk?”

Trixie raised an eye. “What do you mean? Trixie talks just fine.”

Knowing proper english, even if she was born roughly a week ago, Lula flew in front of her and thought of a way to help. “L-Look, try saying ‘I’. Can you do that.”

Trixie tilted her head. “Uh, what?”

Lula flew closer. “You know, ‘I’. As in, yourself. Is that possible for you?”

Trixie had a hard time understanding the question, but tried her best. “Okay...ahem. ‘Trixie’.” She said with a smile. “There, did she do it?”

Lula’s face went deadpan. “No, you need to say ‘I’.”

“Eye?”

“No ‘I’!”

“Aye?”

“Say ‘I am Trixie!”

“Trixie is herself.”

Lula’s eye twitched. “Okay then, say ‘Me, Myself, and I!”

“Trixie, herself, and her.” Trixie’s face stayed blank, knowing she said it right.

Lula groaned and facehoofed. “Ya know what, forget it, let’s just find that shop already. It’s cold out here.” Lula then flew off, Trixie trotting close behind.

They went past many alleys and corners around town, Trixie was becoming more sceptical the longer they went. “You remember where it is, right?”

Lula pointed ahead. “It should be this way, that’s what he told me.”

“Who told you?”

Lula shrugged. “I dunno, the guy had a coat on and covered his face with a bandana, and he kept calling me stranger, asking what I was buyin’ or sellin’. He was a really weird pony, weirder than you.”

Trixie ignored the last comment and asked, “Is that who we’re meeting?”

Lula shook her head. “Nope, we’re going to meet Uncle.”

“You have an uncle?”

Lula turned toward Trixie, now flying backwards. “No; Uncle Curio. He has a shop that sells a bunch of weird things, he’s place should be right-”

*SMACK*

Trixie managed to stop running before hitting the door leading to the shop. She looked up at it while Lula slowly slid to the ground, her back in pain after hitting it at full speed. “Ow…”

“Good, we found it, nice work, Breezie-me.” Trixie swung open the door and walked over Lula, who managed to fly in before the door closed.

Both pony and breezie looked around the room, seeing many different trinkets and knickknacks. “May I help you, Travelers?” Both turned ahead to see a pony walking in from the shadows behind the counter. “Seems something has drawn you into my shop?”

Lula flew up to him while Trixie looked around. “You’re Uncle, right? Uncle Curio?”

The shopkeeper held his head high. “Indeed, and curios are what I specialize in. I take it you’re here for something...powerful?” Lula was about to answer, but Trixie held her hoof up, smacking the breezie out of the way, and pointed at the one object she had been searching for. Curio noticed and smiled. “Ah, the Alicorn Amulet, you have an eye for things. It’s quite the charm.”

Trixie smiled while Lula seemed concerned. “Um...Trixie, are you sure about-”

The mare ran up to the counter, her eyes glued to the prize. “Trixie shall take it!”

Curio shook his head. “Sorry, mare, but the alicorn amulet is one of the most mysterious and powerful of all known magical charms...it is far too dangerous for me to just hoof it over.”

Trixie narrowed her eyes. “Oh really?” She grabbed Lula and pulled her up to her mouth, whispering softly.

Lula’s expressions went from Confused, to intrigued, until finally flying back and glaring at her. “Oh no, not that! We are not doing that, no one liked it on stage, and I doubt he would either!”

Trixie didn’t listen as she walked up to the counter, putting on a pleading face. “You wouldn’t mind giving it to us out of pity, do you?”

Curio laughed. “You look far from pitiable, mare.”

Trixie raised an eye. “I see...” Trixie took hold of the overcoat and took it off, Lula doing the same, regrettably. Both pony and breezie stood on their hind legs, now wearing a white shirt and blue coat combo with black pants, as well as a bandana on their heads. “Then let Trixie break it down for you, cuz.” She lit up her horn and brought out a disc player with a stereo from under her coat She then nodded to Lula, who sighed and flew up to the play button, hitting it with both her front hooves.

A strange rhythm started playing, Trixie craned her ear to it. “Wait, take the base out, Breezie-me.” Lula glared at her. “No? You don’t have to…”

Curio raised an eye at this. “Um...what are you-”

“Just roll with it.” Lula said, clearing her throat and taking in a deep breath, ready to sing the same song they had done on stage multiple times.

“It’s a tragic life for us

It’s a tragic life, for us.

Instead of treated,

We got tricked!

Instead of kisses

We got kicked!

It’s a tragic life.”

Before Curio could question any of this, Trixie took a stance and sung.

“Trixie has no road,

Only a waggon holdin’ her

Tia only knows

Got my breezie-me

And no wheels

See how it goes."

"Magic’s all she can do

You ask Trixie her name?

T to the Rezzo

I to the eXzzo

I to Ezzo

She’s a crazy mother @#%!&

You all knew that!

Sparkle caught her in the first act

It’s all horrible

What’s up with that?

So Trixie shall start a travesty

With the amulet

And her breezie-me

Gimmie that power

All the way

Smoke n’ mirrors EZ.

Magic cards, mother %@&$@#."

Curio’s jaw was dropped through all of this, it wasn’t every day he saw a pony and breezie dance and rap in his store, he tried to speak up again, but Trixie continued.

“Trixie needs a move

After Twi made her shoo

Feelin’ bad,

No better crew

But Trixie won’t lose

We’ll make her sad

Then we’ll *$#k #@%t on the F#@$%

Go for the A@! in her P$%^#

Blast her S%&@

That’s it

Fo Shizzle ma nizzle b#$%@#$%!”

Lula hit the stop button, flying up to Trixie as they crossed their front legs and went back to back, smiling at him. “So, now that you know how far we’ve gone, how about that amulet?” Trixie smiled.

Unfortunately, Curio’s face stayed blank, his mind trying to comprehend what just happened in front of him. “Uh...sorry, mares, but it takes much more than a song and dance routine for me to just hoof over a relic such as this.”

Lula and Trixie looked at each other. “Told you it still wouldn’t work.” Lula said, poking Trixie’s nose.

Trixie sighed. “Very well then.” She reached into her coat and pulled out a bag, dropping it on the counter. Curio’s eyes widened once all the bits spilt onto the countertop, he looked up at Trixie and Lula, a smirk on their faces. With a smile spread across his face, he took hold of the dark object, asking one final question.

“Would you like it gift wrapped?”